#theme coming tmrw since tumblr wants 2 be itself or soon lemme see but ya!

[spoilersfm]

*   𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗲   :    violence incited on his buddy boys at a denny’s parking lot? he's On His Way! from his lil cousin's bat mitzvah with a borrowed sword right now.     sound equipment bought on sweet ass deals, babey!       a bike only used to make a point.       that one vine that got you in detention for playing loud on accident in class.       a ride at a pier taken one too many times in a row;   bleary-eyed and reminiscing of a better time where he didn't straight up moan after that first bong hit.         the shocker of an earburn through a movie marathon that you can't say shit to because he's hosting.         "let's start a podcast."  "i will find your parents."       the mole you thought was cancer when you were twelve. .     ／        𝗝𝗢𝗘𝗟   𝗠𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟   𝗩𝗔𝗡  𝗗𝗬𝗡𝗘.   𝗘𝗦𝗧.   𝟭𝟵𝟵𝟴

named  joel mitchell van dyne.       his parents think they’re on some riverdale shite and named his older brother jason and their two dogs jack and jellybean.     their names? robert and goddamn barbara van dyne.       goes by  joel mainly bc fuck else is coming out of that.       jole the eternal gag and the one that will get your feelings hurt,   mole.

born in jersey city, new jersey.       once a minor threat like every other child in the community until he managed to slap on a ankle bracelet and be on house arrest for his fuckshit at sixteen   /   a feral youth. a juvenile idiot tracking down cars to vandalize right in front of god and everyone because the owner tried to ban him and his brother from a theater in a town nearby.         aged  twenty one,  turns twenty-two in rex manning day april 8.     id’s as a cismale with absolutely no rights!       bisexual with no preferences     /   every hole could be a goal.       romantically there but it’s usually these random bouts of fuck mode that cease into a solid period of i don’t exist to anyone, not even to myself but we’ll run mallrats about it in the bg of a dark room,  stoned and sometimes crying just to cry, in two-days old cum-crusted boxers or stark nude with our hair tied up looking like gollum with a sick bush editing vid essays for cash but it’s fine,  he’s fine.       studies  film at lockwood and is on his way into his third year.       wasn’t really his first choice because college wasn’t but he was persuaded  -  doesn’t regret that shit!       resides in peregrines for the sexy wifi situation and later the general comm of it.       community crew member     /     freelance editor for youtubers and local filmmakers.   u want ur shite edited or need the hookups around town,  he’s there, garbage-humored and broke pay him.    

has   somewhat of an unknown legacy online that summarizes his presence     /    made a viral vine that’s basically a 7-secs porn clip but had an audio of guns getting cocked and gunshots over the oh-so-musical sounds of skin and balls slapping and the eventual facial  -  no one knows he did it and he wasn’t high at the time but that post nut clarity sure was a #moment.      "talent" he very clearly misuses.         trust issues but don’t we all.       a knack for not shutting the fuck up throughout films and it worked for once     /     what started as ridiculous themed movie marathon parties hosted at the van dyne’s basement two years ago turned into a movie commentary channel on yt named van dyne and friends*  ( wc )     ━    think pretty much it type content but less quality;   all jokey,  lighthearted but passionate hate watches,  regular guests of close friends who either love or hate certain movies, genres, etc. hosted by joel and his brother and it’s a fully a hobby he refuses to stress over but managed to have it be a source of income thank god;  primary to his freelancing.         no actual reason as to why he picked tatiana   -   his personal onion on her doesn’t count even if it did influence the last decision so it does nvm  -   a dear friend of his ( wc oh wow look we’ve learned ) got screwed somehow and he was like oh word? say no more baby bitch.        a mishandled anxiety disorder if you couldn’t tell by now     /    been a problem he refused to acknowledge and then he was introduced to oui’d at fifteen ish and that worked until he realized how much he used it to regulate his day to the point where he couldn’t eat at all without getting zooted so it’s less of that now.          a liking for the horrific,  the horny and the artistically crackheaded and you’d be distraught as to what he personally categorizes as any of each.      a jersey accent he couldn’t mask if he tried.         a twitter account he barely uses other than to get recs for comm tracks and tweet dumb shit to delete an hour later for the fun of it but he’s fairly active on instagram.               

𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗪.

is this chaos? u tell me. is everything actually written? of course not but it only took me a few days and my remaining four brain cells holding on for dear life and begging me to go the f*ck to sleep to get it out there + there’s always time 2 flesh out shite on the side! wcs are still a process for me to list down but i do have a bunch in mind  /  would love to bounce a few ideas back at ur muses to see what works ! like this post or hmu in the ims or hmu on disco @ clowncore claudia#5377 where i truly shine as a mess xx