#ive been up for 24 hrs and for what...

[impurefilms]

lyric from Lunatic - polkadot cadaver

shitty ghetsis skeych w/ n☆crom☆rphs below cut . Small Gore/body horror tw ? It's not detailed at all . Literally unreadable scribbles but just in case . I did draw more silly de☆dsp☆ce "crossover" stuff w/ cy☆us but I ummm don't think anyone wants to see that erm

I just wanted an excuse to draw n☆crom☆rphs w/ pkmn losers

[pepprs]

not to p*riod post but like. it came so late last month and it’s even later this month probably both due to stress (lol) and i mean i never “hope” i will get it ever but i was hoping id get it during the fall break so it wouldn’t mess up any of the things i need to do this week and i think there’s like a 90% chance im gonna get it tomorrow which is a jam packed day during which im supposed to give a campus tour to a prominent vice president an hour after getting to the office so. lol

[3416]

i am on what feels like a days long panic attack at this point and there is literally nothing worse on this earth than overthinking every function of your body to a degree where you feel like you want to or are going to die

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

East Blue Crew modern au!

Ive been working on this on and off for a while now.

There’s a lot here so [rings dinner bell] come get y’all’s meal

ASL Modern Au Post

Grand Line Crew Modern Au

Friends We Made Along The way post

Friends We Made Along The Way Part 2 post

Additional Headcanons:

Nami needs her own episode on extreme couponers. Sis has an entire binder dedicated to it.

Zoro cannot for the life of him beat Luffy in an arm wrestling match. No matter how much he lifts or trains, he always loses.

Zoro is actually pretty good at grilling. Sanji was pleasantly surprised when the burger that was presented to him wasnt a pile of ash/ so raw its still walking around. One day the two will have a grill off.

Usopp and Luffy love playing yugioh with eachother. Neither of them actually know the rules of the game, they just make it up as they go.

Nami used to collect american girl dolls and she keeps them in a closet in her apartment. One day when usopp luffy and chopper were snooping around, they found the accursed closet and were scared shitless.

Usopp has an ant farm and luffy thinks its the coolest shit.

In this modern au, sanji takes the place of that one guy on tiktok who makes duets with cooking videos, and films until they put the entire block of cream cheese in the crock pot.

Sanji is also this guy

Even though nami has scary dog privilege when walking with zoro, its not just beneficial to her. In fact nami has outlawed zoro from going on walks in general alone, as he would get lost and need nami to walk to him to direct him home. Nami has scary dog privilege and zoro has sense of direction privilege when they walk together

Sanji and Nami rewatch Pretty Little Liars/ Gossip Girl/ Glee/ and other CW drama shows together.

Nami and Usopp always be shit talking someone/something. They are hateful bitches.

How luffy meets each of them:

Zoro- they met each other because the 24 hr gym Zoro works in is right down the street from Luffy’s apartment and one day Luffy was walking by at around 3 am and noticed Zoro in there. Luffy asks him if he wants to join him fucking around at 3 am on the streets of this city area they live in and Zoro accepts after a little convincing from Luffy. When they get outside Zoro’s like

“where’s the rest?”

“Of what?”

“Of your friends”

“Its just you rn”

“… :| i mean, i had assumed you werent alone”

“Nope!”

“HA OkAy”

Nami- they took the same economics course together. They were paired up in a project and hit it off after that and often had study sessions together. Their defining friendship maker though, was they teamed up to steal the answer key to the test they were both definitely going to fail because the class was bullshit.

Usopp- they had taken a graphic design course together. Luffy had no idea what he was doing the entire time and Usopp was very happy that he could impart his wisdom uponst this newcomer to the arts. Although luffy did already have some… incredible(?) art skills of his own already. It was instant chemistry for them honestly, their synergy just clicked and before they knew it, they were besties.

Sanji- works in the restaurant thats underneath the ASL brothers’ apartment complex. Their fist encounter with the restaurant was not of them going in to eat there, though. The trio were throwing around the ol’ pig skin in the street in front of their complex when luffy failed to catch the ball, and accidentally ricocheted it into the front window of the Baratie, through the eating area, over the counter, and into Mr. Zeff’s face. Zeff stormed out of the eatery and asked which of them destroyed his glass and hit him in the head

And luffy looks over and notices his brothers selling him out and is like “HEY!!! D:” So luffy was stationed as the place’s chore boy and met sanji while working there. 2 years later the debt was repayed, sanji and luffy are friends, and the Baratie is ASL’s fav eating place due to the great food, delightfully violent vibes, and great company.

thats all for now, hope you enjoyed!

[strawberryicedcookies]

SP SUCCESS STORY YAYAYAY

okay so backstory. my sp is in a football gc with my cousin who plays on the same team with him, right? SO my sp tells the whole gc that he wants to take me to HOCOOOOO yall when i tell you i was shockeddd!! soo im manifesting a hoco proposal soon!! yall its crazy cs that was js my ex that wanted nothing to do with me last year. LITERALLY 3 WEEKS AGO we has 0 contact at fucking all bro. I had a tarot reading and they said i should be expecting good news on the 5th of a month GUESS WHEN HOCO IS?! OCT 5TH AHHHHH. ima keep manifesting him and remember that IM THE CATCH not him 😛

(thats my cousin telling me that sp wants to go to hoco with me n that he was gon tell me earlier) as yall can see this happened at 8:57pm if u cant read the 24 hr clock, i fell asleep at 4pm and woke up at 7:50 or some shit and i was listening to an affirmation tape as i slept (as i do every day) BRO WHEN I TELL YOU IVE BEEN FEELING HIS ENERGY EVERYTIME I WAKE UP FOR THE PAST 3DAYS DUDE. yall it feels SO GOOD knowing that im powerful enough to manifest whoever and whatever i want like me and this boy werent even talking like 2 weeks ago what the actual flip dude. Ask me any questions on how i did it and ill make a whole post 🎀 (yall and look at my last post from literally 24 hours ago. If you feel like the energy has shifted know that your manifestation is YOURS) ALSO i kept seeing 444 literally everywhere, and im not a believer of “signs” or “angel numbers” and shit so im never looking for it, but i genuinely kept seeing that fucking number so 🤷🏿‍♀️.

SORRY IF IM RAMBLING IM SHAKING, EXCITED, AND ITS LATE AT NIGHT LMFAO

stay safe and stay soft!! i love u babes

[snaillamp]

OKAY CHUCKLEFUCKS

Yes, thats what im calling you guys now it's lovingly i promise <3

The past few weeks ive received a few comments here and there about people liking my writing. I just want to give you all a big massive happy thank you! Writing is so special to me, it's something i have a lot of passion for, and the thought that i can write something that means something to people... it makes me so happy you have no idea.

SO! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO GO SHOWER YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHORS/ARTISTS/WHOEVERS WITH PRAISE! GO TELL THAT RANDO ON YOUR DASH WHO YOUVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE YOU LIKED THEIR STORY! GO TELL YOUR BESTIE YOU LIKE THEIR STORY! TELL THAT PERSON YOUVE BEEN NERVOUS ABOUT TELLING YOU LIKE THEIR STORIES!

TAG THEM HERE, SPREAD THE LOVE I WANT YOU ALL TO COME TOGETHER AND BUILD EACH OTHER UP!

I’m gonna add any asks i get for this here

| 1 |

GO TELL PEOPLE YOU LIKE THEIR STORIES/ART/WHATEVER CAUSE I WANT EVERYONE TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEIR STUFF CAUSE YOURE ALL SO AMAZING AND TALENTED AND I LOVE YOU ALL!

~ Snail <3

as an incentive, I have a picture of an oc that i was debating on whether to post or not. I worked on it for 13-14 hrs, and in a day if i hear that you guys are out there complementing each other, I will release it.

You have 24 hours.

~ 🐌

Well, my darlings. You have completed the task!

[pixelyssa]

What would you do if you had to lose 7-10 lbs in a week?

I’m not big on fasting more than 24 hrs but high res is fine.

lovey are u okay?? this is next to impossible especially without f4sting.

i would never recommend anything for someone to lose that much in a week, sorry!!

my best advice is to NOT give timeframes like a week, a month, 2 months.. actually. you knkw why? because shit happens, theres surprise days where u will have to e@t “normal” theres days where you miscalculate and overe@t, it happennssss. so giving yourself time limits is just going to stress you out even more.

if your goal for now is 10Ibs, id say depending on where youre at now, it could take 3-6weeks. and thats not bad at all!

im currently 10I away from my UGW so heres what ive been doing (and im sorry its not the answer you wanted, im more of a harm prevention blog, who happens to be severely disordered lol)

-every thursday-sunday im working. literally non-stop doubles. so i make sure i don’t e@t at work. thats like 11 hours of no f00d. plus the many hours from the last time i at3, the night before. so about 20-24 hours of fasting (i do have coffee/tea/water/medications/vitamins during that time so its not a dry fast). i do this because it makes me feel good. by the time i get home i either decide if im super hungry and i make a low c@l meal, or eat some veg/fruits, or i just take my sleep pill and carry on the f4st.

i know you said youre not into f4sts, i wasnt sure if you meant all types. liquid is best for me because i love having soup, chicken broth, coffee/decaf coffee, etc. and its easy when im working all day im just too busy to think about f00d

-another thing ive been doing is running, well i havent for the last week because theres a family of skunks nearby and im paranoid teehee but ive been pushing myself to do SOMETHING that i enjoy since i hate working out, but running, playing with my dog, or walking with my boyfriend are all things that i actually enjoy and it helps.

-mon-wednesday i dont work, i spend the whole day with my bf each day. like i said we go on walks and play withh the dog, so my workouts are crossed off for those days. as far as e@ting goes i usually cook or bake for him. so i know exactly whats going into each dish and i can prepare (i dont eat what i bake for him because i dont have a sweet tooth, atleast thats what my bf thinks teehee) when i cook i give him a huge portion, and myself a small one. and its an OMAD for me. we stay up late playing games and then i try to sleep for as long as possible to avoid breakfast & lunch. then by dinner time, he has all the leftovers and i have something like salad or fruit or soup.

i know thats just all about me, the point is, i liquid fasting 4 days a week, sleep in on my days off to avoid f00d (and catch up on sleep ofc) and try to have 1 meal and 1 snack only during those days.

ofc i struggle with cravings, sometimes we will order out instead of cooking if its too hot to cook. i opt for things like sushi, getting a lettuce wrap instead of bread for sandwiches/burgers, etc. i pretty much e@t normal food i just stop when i start to feel full, which is around half the portion of whatever i give myself.

i hope this helps, keep in mind ive been doing this for 10 years and its not even a choice for me its second nature. its me on auto pilot, how my brain thinks. and i know its not good im self aware, im just going through it and cant choose to get better.

and i hope youre not mad that im saying your goal is impossible, its just not gonna happen without fasting, and even with, your stomach will trick your brain on day 2 that uou should give up. high r3striction and f4sting and extreme workouts are not something you start with, its something you work up to.

idk what your limit is now say its 800. thats good. 800 some days maybe 900 others. in 2 werks you will probably feel comfortable going down to 600 some days, other days. and you can keep lowering it as you get comfy. jumping from whatever your limiy is now, to 200-300 a day will lead to overe@ting & guilt anyways. for ANYONE, because our body will react.

if you do end up going lower, id invest in some vitamins (D, Calcium, B12, mens/womens multi, C), a big water bottle so you know how much water to drink daily, make sure youre getting all your hours of sleep, and make sure once a week youre spiking your limit up, so that your metabolism doesnt slow down so much that you start maintaining w8.

xoxo fairyuck

[sai-lec]

People are platforming sainz way too much when he’s the worse driver in ferrari just because he had his appendix removed like that makes him the most amazing driver ever he really shouldn’t have gotten driver of the day nevermind a win when Charles did so much more and gave him the position

the way im just trying to enjoy my enchiladas oh my god anyway i wasn’t gonna answer just straight up carlos hate asks bc it’s pointless yet here i am

i just find it really interesting that people act like liking carlos = hating charles and vice versa bc that’s the common thread ive been seeing across what people have been saying in my inbox and also in reblogs etc etc . it’s always utilising charles to degrade carlos and specifically his driving performances which in all honesty is very disrespectful to the team as a whole

but the reason that carlos has been getting so much media attention is because there are huge circumstances around him this season . he entered the season not having a seat for next year; people were curious- how would he react? how was he going to prove himself as deserving of a competitive seat for 2025? was the decision going to impact his relationship with the team etc etc etc . there was a lot of questions around him going into the season . especially after the shitshow of the last few races of the 2023 season between his vegas penalty and the god awful tyre strategy they had him on that ruined his race in abu dhabi.

bahrain peaked people’s interest in him- between the ‘im faster’ and team fighting on track (might i add is what you all wanted to see charles do in australia because the team orders were holding him back but got really pissed off that carlos had the gall to fight in bahrain when charles’ pace was thrown off by his breaking issues) . seeing carlos come into the season with so much uncertainty surrounding him and his performance and seeping him qualify second row abd taking a podium on the first race of the season generated more excitement. he was showing the beginnings of a promising final season with ferrari which is a pretty big deal . so of course there is going to be a huge media buzz around him . everyone expects the red bulls to do well it’s not breaking news when max verstappen wins but a driver with nothing to lose driving like he has nothing to lose is an interesting story . it’s journalism girl.

regarding the appendix, again this just adds to the excitement about him . it’s all narrative . like obviously people were shocked when he was diagnosed with appendicitis and it invited jokes about alex albon and his appendicitis which spurred on the media attention . and showing up to watch the race 24 hrs after his surgery of course nobody expected that because he was literally there against doctors orders- which yet again is going to garner a lot of buzz that he is dedicated enough to the team to show up so quickly after surgery .

when it comes to him racing post appendectomy again it’s so obvious that this is something that the media will want to pick up ‘f1 driver takes first non-redbull win in 10 races 2 weeks after surgery’ is a great base headline . that’s journalism baby . but it got people talking because in all honesty he really shouldn’t have been in that car it’s clear that he’s still pretty in pain and people were curious - how will he perform? will he even make it through practise? is he recovered enough to drive? will he have to stop mid race? have they made accommodations to his car to take pressure off his wounds? like you have to remember the toll these cars have on the body of the driver especially across the core. it’s incredibly impressive for someone to get in the car in the process of recovering front any surgery. and for carlos to be still in the late stage of recovery and to pull such impressive results in qualifying and the race is impressive . objectively he had physical hinderance and raced extremely well in spite of it . people are going to talk about it because it is pretty impressive.

as for carlos winning driver of the day again people are just excited . voted him driver of the day in bahrain for his sheer fucking audacity and pulling the first podium of the season which got peoples hopes up for ferraris performance for the rest of the season . he got driver of the day in bahrain because people were extremely impressed with how he raced given his physical circumstances . yes i think charles was also a contender for driver of the day because he also had a great race with the ferrari 1-2 and his defending against the mclarens but driver of the day is a fan vote and people will be voting for what generated the most excitement for them thing the race .

i also wouldn’t say charles GAVE him the position- he already had it . what you’re looking o say is that you’re disappointed charles didn’t have the opportunity to fight for the win. which yeah i get it i would also like to see a charles win this season and some more fighting on the track . but what we need to understand is that this point in time where charles was a few seconds behind carlos the priority was to defend against lando who was showing really good pace at which point charles has to decide if it’s worth trying to close the gap of around 5 seconds or defend against lando who was 2-3 seconds behind him . and obviously at the end he couldn’t increase his speed under the vsc . it’s just racing circumstances .

anyway my point is . is it really that deep in the end . yes carlos is getting a lot of attention right now but it’s just because there’s literally so much going on around him between his career uncertainty illness surgery and stellar performance in the early season . there is no plot against charles or whatever u think is happening and i’m willing to place my life savings that if another driver went under for surgery and pulled those results there wouldn’t be half the backlash as we r seeing . this is just how media works . people are interested in him right now . it’ll pass . we are only 3 races into the season . chill .

[desire-mona]

mona if i were to make you a playlist how long should i aim for? i only ask because i have a habit of making stupidly long playlists (a few nights ago my best friend who moved away from me told me to make him a playlist of what i've been listening to cause i used to play my new music i liked in the car with him but obv now he doesn't drive me anywhere and i was aiming for maybe two hours but it is SIX HOURS LONG SOB) and want to know what kind of listening you like to do :3

idk the one i made u is like 3 hrs long (u never responded to my msg :-( ) so i suppose aim for there but i dont care one way or the other :3

i mean for the past month ive been straight creeking nothing else butttt u can look at some monthly playlists of mine to get a vibe

top 3 from each:

september - falsetto, i made this for you, how to grow a woman from the ground

august - goddamned saint, helena, hey pretty girl time to wake up

july - im not laughing anymore, wrong way, lithonia

june - falling on deaf ears, pirate radio, jackie onassis

i also have a playlist of all my top songs of the year since 2018 (2024 not yet included, top song this year so far is too shy by kajagoogoo)

comprehensive how to make desire mona a spotify playlist guide

[kurtsascot]

thanks @forabeatofadrum for the tag!!!!!

so, ive been working on the klainepolls fic primarily, and, honestly, with the 24 hr turn around time, i haven’t had time to write much else this week. its a huge undertaking and i cant really plan much because i have no way to predict how the votes will go.

but!! with the fic wrapping up, i got back into writing for klueless/ugh as if today.

heres something i wrote today :^)

“Is it a problem that a guy is interested in me?”

Blaine groans and thunks his head against the headrest. “That’s not what I mean. Stop putting words in my mouth.”

“You aren’t giving me much to work with! What am I supposed to think if you only give me half-answers?” Kurt sits back, leaning against the car door, his hand tapping on the windowsill. He takes a shot in the dark. “I mean, is it because he’s older?”

Blaine scrunches his face up. “That’s part of it...”

Oh- unbelievable. Kurt scoffs. “He’s almost your age. You see me as an equal. Who’s to say that he won’t?”

lets tag a bunch of people :^) @cryscendo @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @backslashdelta @wowbright @daisyishedwig @fallevs @hevanderson (and art?? as many sketches as you want to share ?? @warblercore @porcelainvino )

[i-eat-worlds]

okay worlds i need your medical knowledge again.

i have a character in an apocalypse setting with no professional surgeons or doctors or hospitals in reach. they have a burn from below the left hip to the ankle, covering almost the whole leg. they have access to pharmacies, medicines and bandages, as well as five other people to care for them. i'd like the burn to be third degree, but I also need them to survive.

what is the worst degree of burn I can give them? is a skin graft possible for someone with limited medical knowledge to perform? what are the treatments, how long would it take them to get out of critical condition, and how would I ensure they survive without a professional doctor?

burn traits right now are flexible. if I can't burn their whole leg that's okay lol

thank you worlds I appreciate you <3

- @whump-kia

Thanks for the ask Kia!

disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, I’m just a nerd. Take all of this with a grain of salt. Or several.

Okay, so the severity of burns is determined by a two factors: How much skin in burned (measured by the percentage total body surface area burned. You’ll see it abbreviated as TBSA) and how deep those burns are (first degree or superficial, second degree or partial thickness, or third degree or full thickness).

The burn you’ve described (in my unprofessional opinion) would be about 18-15 % TBSA. Keep in mind that the burns wouldn’t be only third degree, their edges would be second degree, and it would sorta “fade in.”

It’s also important to take into account which areas were burned. Burns to the face, hands, genitalia, or major joints are more severe. Your injury includes a knee, which is another area of concern.

Other important things:

For a variety of reasons, burns consume a lot to fluids. Your character is at risk for dehydration and hypovolemia. In non-apocalyptic environments, they’ve be given copious amounts of IV fluids to replace what they’ve lost. This is primarily a concern in the first 24 hrs.

Hypothermia is also a concern. One of the skin’s big jobs it to insulate the body. If a large surface area has been damaged, your character will start to loose heat. They make things called “burn sheets” to help with this. They’re sterile and are designed to insulate and not stick to burns. If your character has access to a pharmacy they might have some of these.

Cytokines are a proteins that affect the immune system. They’re released when the body experiences a significant injury, like a burn. Sometimes, too many are released, causing a condition called cytokine storm. This results in feelings of fatigue and nausea, a fever, and a drop in blood pressure. This is seen around 48-72 hours after injury.

Eschar is a hardened tissue that can develop with severe burns. If the burn encircles a limb, the eschar can put pressure on the limb, cut off blood flow, and cause compartment syndrome. This doesn’t always happen-the skin can also slough off. This is sometimes called “skin slip.” I would not google photos of this unless you are brave. Infection is another big issue. Infected burns will be purulent, smell awful, and be extra painful. Burns are prone to tetanus, so I hope your characters booster it up to date. Infection can eventually lead to sepsis.

———

Treatment:

In the environment you’re in, treatment is going to consist of having your character drink lots of fluids, keeping the burn covered in clean, sterile dressings, and providing pain medication if available.

Their mobility is going to be limited, and they’re going to need help to meet a lot of their basic needs: toileting, nutrition, etc.

Without access to a hospital, there’s not a whole lot that can be done. You mentioned skin grafting, and that’s basically a hard no. It’s extremely painful, creates another open wound, and carries a high risk of infection. A surgeon doing a skin graft in this situation is unadvisable, a non-surgeon attempting this procedure is highly unadvisable. It’s best to keep them warm, hydrated, and comfortable, and keep the burns clean and covered.

———

If you want a better, more probable good outcome, I would change a couple of things. First of all, I would reduce the amount of surface area the burn takes up. Having the burns of just on the thigh and the calf would remove the knee from the equation and make the injury less severe. Furthermore, I’d make most of the burns second degree. You can have some smaller areas of full thickness burns, but second degrees will heal quicker, and, because they leave nerve endings intact, they’ll hurt more! More superficial 2nd degree burns should heal in one-three weeks, and deeper 2nd degree burn might take as many as nine weeks. If the burn takes longer than two weeks to heal, it will likely scar.

Hope this was helpful!

Sources:

Blood on the Page by Samantha Keel (cannot recommend this book enough)

StatPearls: Burn Evaluation and Management

StatPearls: Burn Evaluation and Resuscitation

Cleveland Clinic: Second Degree Burns

Cleveland Clinic: Third Degree Burns

Physiopedia: Burn Shock

[afterhours-system]

omg transbipolar tips please? (if that's ok ofc!) if u do ty sooooo much (and no worries if not! ty anyway 4 being on tumblr :3)

hiii hello :33 heres some transbipolar tips from a cisBP II guything :D

general tips!!

track 👏 your👏 mood 👏!! i'd suggest one mood tracker for the moods/emotions you're actually experiencing (to track progress for example) (i use Daylio, it's great!) & one for the moods/episodes you want to experience! for BP specific moods (mainly depression/mania) i use Bipolar UK!

exaggerate your regular daily moods! if you've been in a good mood all day but suddenly feel a bit down play it up! i've gone from cruising in a very high mood (perhaps even bordering on hypomanic) to absolutely crashing for days because of one bad mood swing :P

hypomania & mania tips!!! (note: ive yet to experience a 100% manic episode, so i dont have as much personal experience there!)

hypomania: hypomania is characterized, for me, by very very high energy, high productivity (but never finishing anything), lots of inspiration & creative drive and feeling wayyy more social than usual!

also, completely losing track of my finances, needing less sleep (like. 2-3hrs & i feel well rested where i usually need 8-9,,), less need for food, almost no actual feelings of hunger (once in a month long ep i only ate One Piece Of Bread per day with the occasional (once a week max) pizza & was "fine") & being more open to drinking (and/or considering trying to get my hands on 'harder' stuff like psychedelics) where i usually straight up dont like alcohol!

i'd recommend going off of what's alr there for you; so if you notice you've been in a pretty good mood recently, say that's a hypomanic episode now! go out a lot (clubbing if you want to/can!), make efforts to meet new ppl & make friends, be very motivated & high energy and do everything (and i mean everything!) in excess (talk fast af & never stop talking, be restless and pace around, constanty occupy yourself w/ smth bcs otherwise you'll be understimulated af)

for mania: crank up everything about hypomania by about 300%. it's like there's a million bees inside your bones, you feel restless cant be still do a thousand things in a day, lose all sense of responsibility & become extremely reckless, either due to your extremely elevated mood or because of delusions or other psychotic symptoms.

oh yeah, psychosis! in a mixed ep i spent a day convinced i had somehow accidentally ingested alcohol (i hadnt)! intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety around it, physical, olfactory & taste-based hallucinations around it, the whole package.

other BP based psychosis ive experienced: visual hallucinations (insects & spiders for me), jumbled & rapid thoughts (it felt different to adhd fast thoughts it was so weird lol)

see this article (link) for other psychotic symptoms during manic (or depressive!) episodes in pwBP!

i'd probably recommend "picking a theme" for delusions & halluciantions & the like, to make it easier to focus on them? tho i havent experienced psychosis enough to know if i have a 'theme' :P

depressive episodes!!

my least favorite (also, i feel like more things are known abt depression) (ALSO- i have seasonal affective disorder too which influences my BP episodes)

depressive episodes mean extreme lethargy for me. im tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep i get (& i'll be getting way more than usual. 10-12 hrs on average with the occasional 13 hrs 🥶).

very little movement. physical, mental, emotional, metaphyical. i often get stuck in bed, if not physically then mentally. spending my day anywhere but in my bed will feel weird & wrong. i will feel pretty numb/wont have access to my emotions anymore & often compltely stop thinking abt & processing my day-to-day life

^ this usually results in strong amnesia around depressive episodes but that might be a plural thing so. take it w a grain of salt lol

depressive episodes also make me self isolate as fuck. im talking forgoing my physical needs if theres a Chance i'll run into my roommate.

oh, yeah, also i just stop taking care of my basic physical as well as i do when balanced. i need to be starving to be able to get up & eat smth, & god forbid i want to actually cook smth rather than eating frozen pizza or eating out/ordering in

i also usually stop doing anything more creative than daydreaming (hashtag immersive daydreaming gang/silly) but even those are less immersive and less frequent. i'll be artblocked 24/7, have no inspiration or motivation and probably wont even miss drawing :P

& thats it! i hope you can find smth usefull in my rambling :3c /gen

and good luck & have fun with your transition!! you have my full support :D /gen

[summonhouse]

I tried not talking abt this because it was so distressing and i felt vocalizing it would cement it in my mind but its already scalded itself into the walls of my gray matter but. I got my first hr "you fucked up badly" talk at work and like. Ok. So i consider myself a very friendly peppy typically cheerful individual irl like i always try and smile and im small and cute and polite But apparently i like. Have a natural frown and bushy angled eyebrows and squinting eyes that make me look genuinely fucking pissed 24/7. And i cant modulate my tone and i speak out of franticness a lot so ive been interpreted as "closed off" and generally unfriendly and im. Really really upset like i dont. Know what to do about that when i just look and act like this. I do try and force big smiles because i know my mouth is like that and its not enough. I try and soften my inflection and add the little swings to make it poppy and it doesnt work. All my coworkers text each other and hang out outside from work and no one will approach me. I dont know what to do

[napping-sapphic]

Hello! I have a Situation and its totally cool if you're not able to give advice but im looking for advice anyway bc im autistic and have no idea how to navigate romantic situations.

So ive had a friend since i was 12 her pronouns are she/they so i will be using both. Im now 20 and they're 21. I've known I like girls since i was 13. And shes pan.

So, in the past, ive had like fleeting thoughts of dating/kissing them but i usually just shake my head and think "nah i cant possibly want to date her bc they're my best friend, i just have very strong platonic feelings." Like Very Strong. Ive literally said that i will always compare my feelings for a future romantic partner with my feelings for her bc they're so strong.

So im honestly not sure if i would know if i was in love with someone unless it hit me in the face, and i am currently feeling like it has hit me in the face. I woke up at like 4 am last night from a dream just thinking "omygosh im in love with her" and ive been journaling and thinking all day ahout my feelings and im starting to think ive just been in strong denial/oblivious about my feelings. Both bc im autistic and have difficulty identifying emotions and bc im demiromantic and rarely experience romantic attraction so i dont have much experience with it.

I guess the point of this ask is about any advice you can give regarding knowing if i actually have romantic feelings and if i do,, like what do i do about it??? Should i tell them? We have a really strong friendship and i dont wanna make her uncomfortable. I think ill be okay not acting on my feelings but its been literally less than 24 hrs since realizing my feelings might be romantic and i dont know if it will be difficult to hide or what to do about it. They're also like my only close friend so i cant just ask her what to do like i would normally, which is why im asking you.

Again, i understand if you cant answer this bc its a pretty personal situation but i would appreciate any advice.

Thank you! :)

Ahh once again prefacing with the fact that I am really Not Qualified to give advice on most things😅 but I can give you my take as an outsider on the situation and with my (very limited experience) in case that might help you at all, but again really take all of this with a LARGE grain of salt i am a VERY unqualified stranger on the internet so most of what i say is probably nonsense😅

I feel like this is like my go to advice but I’d say just wait it out tbh, as someone who was in capital L love with their childhood best friend for a while it really just came down to time for me. It took a while for me to be sure whether the feelings were romantic or platonic for SURE. Especially since the platonic love stayed for me even when the romantic love began🤷‍♀️ it made it extra tricky to tell lol.

My ‘oh this is NOT just platonic’ realization came from YEARS of excessive thinking about them, WAY too much jealousy when they dated other people, a LOT of thoughts and urges about holding their hand, a lot of comparing them to people i had passing crushes on, and (i kid you not) an embarrassing amount of love poems teenage me wrote about them lol😅

However! The slow process and thinking it through also lead me to the conclusion that i did NOT want to date them. Being a couple just wouldn’t work for us and I value them so so so SO much as my best friend and really need them in my life as that separate, constant, platonic relationship that I deeply love and care for. It works better for us than any sort of dating could🤷‍♀️ not to mention all of our other clashing traits that just wouldn’t work if our relationship was romantic. And now I’m honestly really not romantically interested in them anymore, they’re just my best friend and always will be :)

I dont think it’s too unusual to fall a bit (or a lot) romantically in love with a best or close friend, I think the more important thing to recognize is whether it’s something worth acting on, that you’re willing to act on, and that will be good for both of you to act on

So I’d say ruminate on it! There’s no pressure to figure it out, if you start getting too preoccupied with it you can try talking it through with them, not even as a confession type thing, you can simply have a conversation letting them know you’re a little confused or wanting their opinion if you think they’ll be receptive to it. Best I can tell you is that there’s no clock on figuring it out, there’s no “right” way to define what type of love you feel, and to remember that either way you’ve got a great person in your life. I’m very sorry I can’t be more help and if anyone has any other advice feel free to leave it in the notes for this person! Good luck to you and I hope you find what you’re looking for soon <3!!

[youremyheaven]

alright. one: it's time for YOU to tell us everything 🥳 (just kidding! share only what u'd like haha). two: I'VE LITERALLY HAD PEE LOON LOOPING IN MY HEAD FOR 24 HRS NOW (i was listening to the lofi version last night and it's soooo beautiful the beat when the words start playing just make you feel like you're falling backwards into water IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE goddd it's literally so beautiful) IT'S SUCH A NICE SURPRISE TO SEE IT ON YOUR LIST. (also i'm pointing and laughing. affectionately. it's fun to see you losing your mind.) (hi it's still venus stellium anon I PROMISE IM GETTING TO THE LONG ASKS SOMETIME it's just really hard for me to sit down and yap. i HOPE YOU'RE WELL.)

bbg my DMs are wide open to you, you can just talk to me over there if u like hehe but no pressure

PEE LOON IS SUCH A BOP 😭😭

whenever i have a crush, i get this "main tera" type feeling its so embarrassing 😭😭

its not directed at a specific person but a few dudes i know have been saying sweet things lately and it straight up sends me into lover mode and JSSJHSDKLLL and i just wish i could combine all of their love and affection into one man and be his pasandida aurat 😭

yk that meme of how the guy u like treats u vs how the guy u want nothing to do with treats u 😭😭SIKEEE

ive always felt an abundance of love in my life but its never come from people i wanted to be loved by lmao but manifesting a different mutual pyaar in the future <333

[stardustinmyhands]

Trigger warning

Miscarriage talk

•••••

5/21/24

I’ve been productive today. I swept, mopped (well used the swiffer, I can’t find our mop bucket). Emptied the dishwasher and filled it back up. Now all I have to do is wash the dishes that don’t fit in the washer. I took a 2nd dose of adderall (20 mg) and so wanted to fall asleep, but I stayed up and it kicked in and I got stuff done.

Tomorrow is my IVIG infusion at the new location. My autism and adhd are like what’s it gonna be like, will I like the nurses, will it be comfortable? I have to be there at 9 am. Which at my old facility they let me come at 11 am. They said it’s cause my infusion is gonna be 3 hrs long. I’ve been getting infusions since 2018 and now I have Tony my port, no more iv’s for me.

I journal almost everyday, in my journal I think of my son Ezra Malachi. I lost him on 11/11/1999 as I was walking home from a job interview. I left a trail of blood and bleed for 3 weeks afterwards. It was the only time I have been pregnant. He was not planned, I was 18 on birth control. But was on antibiotics for an ear infection. How I found out I was pregnant is I had a dream a gave birth to a red haired son. Me and his father picked the name before I was even pregnant. I loved the name Ezra since 7th grade, I read it in a book. The father picked the middle name Malachi. I wasn’t to keen on that name, but it flowed with Ezra so I agreed.

I almost married Ezra’s father. One night we took a road trip and he said let’s go to Vegas and married. I said no, I can’t get married without my mom. Also I wanted my mom to make my dress. I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve seen so many of my friends go through horrible divorces that took almost 2 years. Now one who is a single mom of 3, didn’t get child support last month. Now that I’m older I’m ok with never getting married. I’m also polyamorous, I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend right now. A marriage is a piece of paper it’s more important what you say and how you act instead of saying vows and signing a piece of paper. I don’t believe in till death do us part, would say as long as the love shall last. I would do a hand fasting with that “vow” in there, but no death do us part. 

I woke up to the black screen of death today on my IPhone it’s working fine now, so I don’t know what happened.

Yesterday I was in so discomfort almost pain. Ok pain. Today I’m ok and haven’t even taken tramadol. Ok body, whatever.

I washed my face and put lotion with 30 spf on. My skin doctor told me to use 50 spf or higher, but my window is covered and I didn’t go outside tomorrow. Tomorrow I will use the 50 spf cause I’m leaving the house. She gave me some samples, I think I had an allergic reaction to the first one I tried. Red itchy face, and it was hot to the touch. So I tried the Neutrogena brand and it was fine I put it in my Amazon cart.

I’m autistic and adhd, I saw TikTok yesterday that neurotypical people don’t think stuff thru they just get up and do it. I sent it to my gf and she said she doesn’t think stuff thru, she just does. I’m like I have to think EVERYTHING thru. And she said that explains a lot about you. Yesterday I was already planning what I’m gonna wear Thursday for infusion, what time I will leave, what kind of coffee and breakfast I will get.