#then he cried when my partner came and i went into the pharmacy to get his prescriptions

[eddiesgorlie]

Young and Dumb

YoungDad!Austin x YoungMom!Reader

Summary: Austin and Y/n, the highschool power couple make the big mistake one night and Y/n runs off after two lines show up on the test. Austin never hears from her again until one day at a coffee shop.

Warnings: Small amount of smut. (Let me know if I missed any!) Timelines are super messed up and don’t match with the time that things actually have happened in his life!

Word count: 2,199

Now as I look back at 16 year old me as a 23 year old, I’d tell her to listen to what adults told me: Teenage boys are Young, Dumb and full of cum. That was Austin. He asked me out after a couple months of being science class partners. After the first couple dates, I fell and I fell hard for him. He was always such a gentleman, opening doors for me, paying for dinner and always taking care of me.

My question is how did I think that having sex in the back of his car in an empty parking lot one night was a good idea. What did I say though? We were young and dumb.

Six Years Earlier

I was laying down in the back of his car, completely exposed as he looked in his wallet, his pocket and almost everywhere you could imagine looking for a condom but he came empty handed. “I don’t have one, babe.” He sighed. My eyes looked over his toned body as I could feel was lust. “Just pull out.” I said. “I’m not sure.” Austin said. “Please, Aus. I want you.” I said. He thought for a moment and nodded, lining up with my entrance. He let out a shaky breath as he finally pushed into me and I held his hand as pain and pleasure took over. I pulled him closer to me, needing him everywhere. I whimpered as I felt myself getting close. “Are you going to cum, baby?” He asked. “Mhm.” I moaned. He continued to thrust until my walls clenched around him and he thrusted until he quickly pulled out. Not soon enough. He came on my stomach and collapsed down next to me.

We laid in each others arms for a little while longer before we got dressed and he drove me home. “I love you, I’ll call you tomorrow.” He said. “I love you.” I said and closed the car door.

The next week I didn’t feel well. I had no appetite and was fatigued, I just expected it to be PMS. That was until the nausea and vomiting started. After I was sent home by the school nurse for the “stomach flu” I made the decision to buy a pregnancy test. Once I arrived at the pharmacy and made it to the “family planning” aisle I grabbed 3 boxes of the cheapest tests and headed home after paying.

Sitting on my bathroom floor I tapped my foot as 4 pregnancy tests sat on the counter above me. I couldn’t be pregnant though, I was only 16. I was just over reacting. A moment later the timer on my phone went off and I checked the tests one at a time. The first one, two bold pink lines. I felt sick. I slowly flipped the second one to again be met with two lines.

All I could do was cry, I cried for days, especially once my parents found out. They tried to force me to abort but I refused, this was my baby and I was going to raise it. Austin called and came to my house but I never answered, I couldn’t handle to see him, out of anger, fear and embarrassment. Once I started showing, mom and dad couldn’t handle to see me anymore, they sent me to my grandma’s home in the next town over.

I took GED classes and got my diploma when I was 5 months pregnant. Grandma had money and was very willing to help pay for raising my baby but I refused, it wasn’t right to let her pay. I got myself in this situation so I was going to work and take care of it. I turned 17 when I was 8 months along and had two jobs, my day job a cashier at a grocery store and my night and weekend job as an assistant at a hospital. I thought about Austin a lot, I was so in love with him but I don’t think I could face him now.

I took maternity leave a week before my baby was born. My beautiful Matilda Lori Y/L/N was born on August 16th, the day before Austins birthday. I held her in my arms just looking at her. She had his blonde hair and pink lips. All I saw was him. She looked just like him.

Once my maternity leave ended, I got back to work while also taking classes to get my bachelors degree so I could get a better job, maybe get our own place. Grandma was so helpful, taking Matilda when I was working and when I had my online classes.

Finally I graduated, turned 20 and had a three year old in preschool. I was able to find a great job in marketing at a large company. I truly enjoyed it, I was able to work from home to be with my little girl.

Present Day

I looked through recommended kindergartens on google and tried my best not to cry, she was growing up and I couldn’t slow it down. “Mommy!” She screeched. I quickly shot up from my chair and ran through our house to find her in her playroom with her Barbie and Ken dolls. “What’s wrong, baby?” I said, coming to a halt and slipping until my back hit the door frame. “Look! They married now.” She said, holding the dolls and making them kiss. “That’s great, baby. Beautiful ceremony.” I said. “Mommy? Why do you not have a Ken?” She asked. Recently she had fallen into her “Why?” Phase and that was her main question. “Why do I not have a Ken?” The question made me sad, I hated that she was growing up without a dad but I wasn’t ready to start dating again. We had just moved into our own house in my home town and I was enjoying it just being us girls.

“Well, because mommy hasn’t found her Ken yet.” I said with a smile. She nodded and got back to playing. “How about we go get coffee……And hot chocolate!” I said, watching her light up once I said hot chocolate. “Yes!” She squealed. “Nom Nom Nom! I’m going to eat you!!” I said in a Cookie Monster voice as I chased her to her room. I sat her on her bed and walked to her closet. “It’s a little chilly today so we need long sleeves, ok?” I asked. “Ok.” She said. After digging through her closet, I picked out floral bell bottom leggings, a white turtle neck and a Jean jacket. “Do you like this outfit?” I asked her. She nodded. I helped her get changed and then walked her to the living room. “Mommy has to get ready, I’m going to put bluey on for you. If you need me just come get me.” I said, kissed her head and walked to my room. I decided on wearing a cute white floral sun dress with a cardigan over since it wasn’t too cold. I did my makeup and put my hair up in a claw clip.

I helped Matilda put on her pink converse and put on my matching pair. I locked up the house and got us in the car. “Are you going to get a fancy hot chocolate?” I asked as we drove. “Yes! Very fancy.” She said. “Are you going to get it in a fancy cup?” I asked. “No…” She said. “Are you going to get it with extra chocolate?” I asked. “No.” She said. “Oh come on.” I said. “No! Extra whipped cream!” She said excitedly. “Holy cow! Extra whipped cream?” I asked. “Yes! All the whipped cream.” She said as I parked the car. Thankfully at this time the shop was pretty quiet, just a couple of cars. “Ok, remember, we have to use our inside voices and laughs.” I said as I unbuckled her. I picked her up and set her on the ground, holding her hand as we walked inside. There was just a man and two women in the shop, thankfully not at our favorite table. “Hi! I’ll get a lavender latte and a very fancy hot chocolate, little miss has got an important instruction.” I said to the barista. “Perfect! And what is this request Matilda?” She asked. “Extra whip cream!” She said. “Good choice! I’ll have that ready for you in a second, Y/n.” She said. I paid and put a dollar in the tip jar while we waited for our drinks.

Once we had them and sat down at our table I checked to make sure work hadn’t called before I turned my phone off to enjoy our “Mommy Daughter date”. “Are you excited to start kindergarten?” I asked. “Mhm!” She nodded with a whip cream mustache. “Oh, lick you lip honey, you look like a general from the 1800s.” I said. She licked her lip and smiled.

We talked for a while, mostly about bluey and her toys but I was with my girl, thats all that mattered. A chair squeaked and a tall man with black hair walked towards bathroom, his head down. A couple minutes later he walked back, stopping before his table and turned and walked to ours. Thats when I saw his face, it was Austin. “Here baby, take this and go get all the bakery treats you want.” I said, handing her a twenty dollar bill and Austin sat in her spot next to me. I knew it would take her a while, she was extremely indecisive like her mama. “Hi..” I said. “Hi, Y/n.” He said. We sat in an awkward silence for a moment until he spoke up. “So, how are you doing? I see you’ve got a kid.” He said with a smile. “I’m doing great. How are you? Yeah, I do. She’s the light of my life.” I said with a laugh. “She’s adorable, whats her name? I’m doing good.” He said. “I’m glad to hear that. She’s my little Matilda Lori.” I said. His eyes shot up. “Matilda Lori?” He asked. “Yeah, when I was in the hospital after having her, I couldn’t decide on a middle name, I’m so glad I decided on her grandmas name.” I said. “W-what?” He asked. “She’s your daughter, Aus.” I said. He cleared his throat and looked at her as she couldn’t decide between a muffin or a sandwich. I saw his eyes get teary. “The first time I held her, all I could see was you.” I said. “Why’d you leave?” He asked. “My parents kicked me out and I moved in with my grandma.” I said. “Why didn’t you call?” He asked. “I guess I was embarrassed and scared you wouldn’t love me anymore. I regret not telling you everyday.” I said.

I watched as he collected his thoughts. “She’s 5 and loves playing soccer. Her birthday is August 16th and every year since she could talk she asks for a green unicorn. She’s healthy and is excited to start kindergarten this fall. I work at a marketing company and we just bought a house here this year. Now tell me about you.” I said. “Um- I’m still acting, I’m playing Elvis in the biopic.” He said. “That explains the hair.” I said. “A-are you married?” He asked. “Nope, but miss Matilda over there keeps asking why I don’t have a Ken.” I said. He gave me a confused look. “She’s obsessed with Barbie and Ken dolls.” I laughed. He laughed too. “Are you?” I asked. “No, I haven’t been able to connect with someone since you.” He said. “Same.” I said. I took a sip of my coffee. “I want you to have a relationship with her, she needs a dad in her life. She has a soccer game on Saturday, text me and I’ll send you the details.” I said writing my number on a napkin and giving it to him. “I’ll be there.” He said, putting the napkin in his pocket. “I don’t think we should tell her yet, she won’t understand.” I said. “I agree, she needs to at least get to know me first.” I nodded as Matilda walked over and sat on my lap, giving Austin a confused look. “Stranger danger?” She asked. “No honey, this is Austin. He’s mommy’s friend.” I said. She nodded and started eating her cookie. “It was great talking with you Y/n and it was nice to meet you, Matilda.” Austin said as he stood up. “It was great to see you, Aus.” I said. He grabbed his things from his table and walked out the door.

On Saturday I was sitting on my lawn chair, Austin next to me. He wouldn’t take his eyes off the game and clapped every time she scored a goal. “Can you believe shes ours? She’s amazing, isn’t she.” I smiled. “She really is.” He said. “Y/n, I know it’s been a while but would you want to give us a try again? Its ok if not, I just thought maybe since we have a daughter and because I really miss you but if not I’m ok-” “I’d love to.” I said, holding his hand.

Taglist:

@18lkpeters @abloversblog @purejasmine @violetdaze25 @maddiemunson333 @shelbygeek

[15-dogs]

new hire |n.s.|

pairing: newt scamander x apothecary!reader

summary: you’re hired as the new apothecary at newt’s favorite establishment, and he finds himself attending the store more often to buy more and more ridiculous, unneeded items (all the fluff!! coffeeshop (technically apothecary) au, pining)

warnings: none

guide: (Y/N) = your name, italics = writing

word count: 3.9K

a/n: this is my take on a coffeeshop au!! i feel like newt would be more subject to visiting apothecaries than coffeeshops so i used all the basics of a coffeeshop au and changed it to an apothecary!! i hope you like it :)

Newt was positive that his Dittany was somewhere. He shook every drawer upside down, went upstairs to check his bedroom, back downstairs to turn every stone for the second time, then back upstairs to recheck his belongings before he admitted that he was out of it. 

He huffed, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he debated whether or not to pick up Dittany then. He ultimately decided that he didn’t want to risk getting into an accident where it was crucial to have on hand and come up empty so he threw on his vest and coat, making his way towards the apothecary store down the street. It was a small place disguised as a pharmacy on the outskirts of Diagon Alley. The building wouldn’t appear to muggles as it truly was, allowing for wizards to slip in and out unnoticed.

“Oliphant & Bailey’s Medicinal Supply” was painted onto a metal sign that swung outside the store, the metal sign bracket whining every time the wind would pass. Newt smiled at the familiar words before entering, being greeted with the smell of fresh herbs that were drying out on racks by the door. 

His eyes scanned the jars along the shelves, finding the Dittany hidden off to the side from everything else. He let out a content sigh as he attempted to snatch it off the shelf but it didn’t budge. Newt looked around the store with confusion and finally realized just how crowded the place was.

“Mr. Scamander!” a woman called out. Newt whipped around, finding Vancity Oliphant with a trail of boxes floating behind her, her dress robes pressed to perfection. “We haven’t seen you around here in quite some time. Where have you been?”

“Busy, mostly.” Newt shrugged, fiddling with his hands.

Vancity began to twist her wand, various potions flying onto the shelves. “Well, one thing’s for certain: we missed you. We’ve been getting an increase in business recently--” Vancity turned towards Newt, leaning in close “--the whole nonsense that that man, Lockhart, has spun has everyone panicked. He told them that if they don’t turn to holistic medicine, then there would be a greater chance that they would be attacked by a troll. Ridiculous, sure, but business has been outstanding! We even had to get a new hire!”

Newt gave her a placating nod, hoping that the conversation would be over soon. “Right, that’s fantastic-”

“Isn’t it?” Vancity rounded the counter and beckoned Newt to follow her, passing the people in the line who seemed to have been waiting for quite some time. “Anyway, how can I help you, Mr. Scamander?”

Newt nearly sighed with relief at the question finally being asked. “I tried to pick some Dittany up off the shelf, but it wouldn’t budge-”

“About that,” Vancity let out a low breath, dipping her head with disappointment. “With the uptick in sales, we’ve had an uptick in accidents. People were knocking our things off the shelves and it just took too much time to clean up and rebrew and whatnot. So we fixed everything down. Only employees can pick things off the shelf.” Vancity snatched a slip of paper, quill, and inkwell off the counter and slid them towards Newt. “We started to provide customers with these sheets so they can fill out what they need and we pick it up for them.”

Newt, knowing that the sooner it would all be over the better, simply nodded and began to fill out the form. Vancity chuckled before taking the form in her hands.

“One vial of Dittany coming right up, Mr. Scamander.” And just like that, she disappeared into the back room.

Newt glanced around the store and wondered if there was anything else he needed before he left. He spotted a few herbs off in the corner that might be of use but, as his gaze caught on the already irritated line, he decided it was in his best interest to pick them up another time.

“Mr.-...Sarmander?” a voice called out.

Newt whipped around, taken by surprise by the new face. Your face. He felt a strange sensation in his chest when he looked at you, like a sense of warmth had flooded through him. You raised an eyebrow at him, wondering why he had been staring at you for so long.

“Are you Mr. Sarmander?” you repeated, shaking the bottle of Dittany in your hand.

“Scamander,” he corrected as he approached you.

Your cheeks heated up at the mistake. “My apologies, Mr. Scamander. I just read what was off the paper but apparently I wasn’t looking closely enough.”

“I have truly terrible handwriting.” That was a lie. Newt didn’t know where it came from. “Thank you.”

“Have a lovely afternoon, Mr. Scamander!”

He would have one now.

•••

Newt was having some trouble making progress on his novel in the next few days. He had barely drafted a page of anything because he was too focused on the interaction that the two of you had only 4 days prior.

He knew you were kind. He could see it in your eyes. Even if he only spoke to you for just a moment, he knew it was true. And you had a lovely smile. One that was so lovely you must’ve flashed it at everyone and left them thinking about it as much as Newt was.

Newt shook his head, breaking himself from the trance he was in to look at his blank page. Writer’s block was not faring well with him. So he stood up and threw his jacket on, realizing he could do with the fresh air. As he was leaving his house, he stopped short in the doorway, snatching some money from his kitchen table. He might as well grab some more herbs while he was out.

No more than 15 minutes later Newt was entering Oliphant & Bailey’s. The store was empty for once, but he figured it would be for a Monday morning. Newt made his way to the counter, rocking back and forth as he awaited an attendant. To his dismay, Rita Bailey revealed herself from the back room.

“Mr. Scamander!” she cried. Rita leaned over the counter, furiously shaking his hands in hers. “How have you been?” Newt opened his mouth but she didn’t give him time to answer before she was speaking again. 

“I heard you were in here a few days ago. It’s not often that we see you in here twice a week. Are you out on something?” Rita’s eyes widened as she seemed to beat her own question in her head. She leaned unbearably close over the counter and whispered, “Is your Swooping Evil not producing? Because Vance and I have some products in the back. Stuff on the side, if you-”

Vancity, who stood in the doorway of the office, cleared her throat, calling the attention of her partner. Rita’s head whipped around, a sheepish grin plastered on her face.

“Rita,” began Vancity, her voice stern, “I need you in back to help with the budget.”

Rita stood to her full height, motioning towards Newt. “Well, who’s gonna help Scamander, then?”

Vancity leaned into her office, speaking to someone with a jerk of head towards the shop. There was a muffled reply and the sound of shoes clicking against hardwood, pacing around the back room.

Newt’s heart began to beat just a little faster. He didn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing. Then he caught himself. What was he getting his hopes up for? He wasn’t expecting anything, and he certainly didn’t care if you were there or not. It’s not like the back of his neck flushed and his cheeks started to heat up when he saw you exiting the back room.

“Mr. Scamander,” you stated. Newt let out a shaky breath; your voice was so smooth, the words sounded almost practiced as they fell from your lips. 

You brushed one hand off on the little apron that was tied around your waist and the other was used to magic a quill and inkwell onto the counter. You reached into your apron to pull out a slip of paper, dotting your quill into the ink. “How can I help you today?”

“I need some ingredients,” he shot out quickly, looking down at the counter.

You chuckled softly as you scribbled in a box, drawing his attention upwards. “What kinds of ingredients?”

Newt took in a sobering breath as you finally met his gaze. For a moment, he forgot what he came there for. “Mandrake root and Moonflower Pollen.”

You gave him a dutiful nod as you jotted the items down. You tossed the quill and paper up in the air, the quill finding its place by the inkwell and the paper rolling itself up and flying into a cupboard below your legs.

You scooted out from behind the desk, walking up past Newt towards the racks of herbs. You picked up the dried up roots of a Mandrake, holding it up at him. “This one okay, Mr. Scamander?”

“Perfect.”

You moved to another counter, freeing a small paring knife from your apron. “I have to ask you, Mr. Scamander,” you began as you chopped up the root, “you seem to be buying a lot of medicinal supplies. Are you a Healer?”

Newt chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “No, I’m a Magizoologist.”

You halted in your motions, looking up at him. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” His response was no more than a single exhale, the words barely forming as he stared into your eyes. He finally peeled himself away from your gaze to continue. “With the creatures I work with, some healing skills are of great use.”

You hummed in response. “I can imagine.” Flicking your wand, a small mortar and pestle flew to your side. With the blade of your knife, you scooped the chopped up root into the bowl and began to grind it to a fine powder. “You know, I was always interested in Care of Magical Creatures back at Hogwarts. I was never all that good at it, though. Not like I was with Herbology.”

Newt’s eyes were trained on the root being cut up, too afraid that looking would cause him to meet your occasional glance up and make a fool of himself. “I’m actually writing a book on magical creatures at the moment.”

“Really?”

“If you’d ever like to study magical creatures again, I could give you a copy.” Newt’s heart began to flutter at the way your eyes lit up.

You stopped in your motions of preparing his Mandrake Root, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. “That would be wonderful.”

After packaging up the now-crushed root into a small, beat up tin and handing it to Newt, you paced around the counter with another tin in hand. You approached a glass jar full of yellow pollen in it, using the scoop inside to portion out a generous amount.

“How’s this, Mr. Scamander?” 

You tilted the tin towards him, Newt leaning in to examine the contents. Before he could answer, a quiet sneeze came from his coat. You pulled the container back, your brows furrowed as Newt became flushed. He hesitated to reach into his coat, turning to the side as he pulled Pickett, his Bowtruckle, out and scolding him just out of earshot.

“No, Pick, I didn’t forget about-...she didn’t know you were-...don’t blame this on her! She did nothing-”

“I’m sorry,” you interrupted. Newt froze, cocking his head to see you practically leaning over his shoulder. “I have to ask, is that a Bowtruckle?”

Newt exchanged a glance with Pickett before popping him into his pocket, Pickett’s head resting just outside of the heavy fabric to stare you down. “Yes, he is.” You fought a giggle as you leaned down to stare at Pickett in the eyes. “He has some-”

“Attachment issues?” you finished. Newt’s eyes went wide as he gave you a nod. A smile flickered onto his lips for just a moment. You looked up at Newt from your position then stood to your full height. “I’ve heard of that being the case with Bowtruckles before.”

Newt simply nodded again, too distracted by the fact that you were just inches from his face. For just a moment he could have sworn that he saw your eyes flicker down to his lips, his breath getting caught in his throat.

“I have just the thing for your Bowtruckle,” you whispered before moving away towards another shelf.

Newt shivered and let out a sigh, his chest thundering. Finally, he realized you had moved away and followed, watching with a close eye as you broke off the tiny fruit of a strange purple herb that he couldn’t place.

“What’s his name?” you asked while you pulled the fruit into halves.

“Pickett.”

You turned around, offering a half of the fruit to Pickett. Pickett perked up, looking up at Newt for permission. You chuckled at the interaction while Newt pulled Pickett out, letting him sit on his finger.

“Well then, this is for you, Pickett.”

Pickett shared one more look with Newt before taking the fruit and gnawing on it instantly. He let out a happy squeak and jumped onto your arm, crawling up to your shoulder as he continued to snack on the fruit.

Newt let out an impressed laugh at the sight. “Pick doesn’t quite like strangers,” he explained.

You turned your head to eye the happy Bowtruckle, petting him with the pad of your index finger. “Suppose we’re not strangers anymore, are we, Pick?”

“Newt,” Newt shot out quickly. He continued to stare at his fingers while he toyed with them. “You can call me Newt.”

Newt only looked up when he saw your hand come into his field of vision, all delicate and strong. He took your extended hand and shook with careful vigor, the corner of his lips quirking upwards.

“Then consider us friends, too, Newt. I’m (Y/N).”

•••

Newt began to frequent the apothecary more often than he needed to. He always seemed to be running out of something, and he always seemed to arrive just when the rush died down. His list of items he needed appeared to grow longer and longer with each visit, but you never once gave his service to another employee.

The thought of you ran tirelessly through Newt’s head at night. His heart would beat just the slightest bit faster when he thought of that gorgeous smile you would flash him when he walked through the door, almost like you were expecting him to be there. 

Oh, Merlin, and that disarming chuckle that tumbled from your lips when he would trip over his words. It instantly calmed Newt down, his stammer fading away slowly.

Distracted from his writing again, Newt decided to pay you a visit at the apothecary. He snatched the coat of the back of his chair and ran out the door, his heart getting lighter with each step towards the store. Once he arrived, he swung the door open and looked up, only to find that you weren’t there. He frowned, but approached the counter and waited.

“Mr. Scamander!” Vancity cried as she exited the backroom. “How can I help you?”

Newt leaned over slightly, checking to see if you were in the back before the door shut behind Vancity. “Is (Y/N) here?”

Vancity let out an apologetic sigh. “Sorry, Mr. Scamander, she’s out sick.” Newt opened his mouth to speak but Vancity predicted his next question, silencing him immediately. “She doesn’t know when she’ll be back, either.”

“Oh. Right.” Newt focused on the counter, trying not to meet that horribly embarrassing sympathetic look that crowded Vancity’s face. “Will she be okay?”

“She’ll be perfectly fine. Nothing she can’t handle. It is her job to supply medicinal supplements, after all. Now, is there anything I can help you with?”

“No, actually.”

Newt wasn’t sure what Vancity said left-- his mind was too full with strange thoughts about the nature of your relationship. You were friends, weren’t you? That’s what you said to him the day you met Pickett. So if you were just friends, why was he feeling so lost without you there?

Newt took his time walking back to his house, his mind off someone else. He couldn’t help but recall the way you made him feel with your kind heart and witty humor, your soft eyes and enchanting smile. Just remembering that made his cheeks heat up.

As Newt entered his home, he walked into the basement and opened a cupboard to prepare the food for his Glow Bugs when a few tins from Oliphant & Bailey’s fell onto the counter. That’s when it hit him. He didn’t need all those herbs. He never did. So why was he going?

It was so plain. It was all there, the facts laid out in front of him: Newt Scamander had feelings for you. It was so incredibly obvious that he wondered how he didn’t notice it before. And it wasn’t a normal attraction, it was a stupid schoolboy crush; the kind where he’d go through ridiculous measures just to get your attention.

He groaned and threw his head into his hands at his epiphany. What in Merlin’s name was he supposed to do?

•••

Newt revisited the apothecary day after day, awaiting your return. After about a week of the constant rejections, he decided to let it go for the time being. It was frustrating, to say the least, to not hear how you were doing. He was more concerned about you than he was about acting on his feelings, because Merlin knows when he’d do that.

As Newt ran through the possibilities of what you had come down with, a knocking came from his front that snapped his attention to the forefront of his mind. He opened the door and stared, slightly confused at the sight before him.

“Theseus?”

“Nice to see you, too, Newt,” Theseus scoffed, embracing his younger brother into a tight hug. Newt stood quite stiff in his arms until he let go.

The younger Scamander rested an arm against the doorframe, leaning against it to make himself look much taller next to his brother who just happened to tower over him. After settling into the awkward position, Newt asked, “What brings you here?”

Theseus reached into his pocket to pull out a small notice, placing it into the hands of Newt. Newt frowned before unravelling it and scanning over its contents.

“It’s a notice from the Ministry. Next date to get your international ban removed.”

“Ah.” Newt raised the note in the air, casting a silent spell to have the paper zip itself down to his basement. “I’ll see you then, I reckon.”

Newt tried to shut the door but Theseus put his foot in it, prying it open to face Newt once more. Theseus held out a hand as the other fished through his jacket pocket to pull out a few small vials of Dittany.

“Just in case,” Theseus added sheepishly. “You always used to run out of this, and I can bet you still do.”

Newt flashed a grateful smile at his brother before his eyes caught on the label of the bottle. That same label that was plastered on every herb in his basement.

“Did you get this from Oliphant & Bailey’s?”

“I did, actually.” Theseus snorted, an amused grin on his lips. “The Apothecary there, the new one, she knew you. Recognized my face and asked if I was related to you, ‘the more handsome Scamander’. Her words, not mine.”

“When did you get these?”

“Right before I came here, why?” That familiar devious smirk grew on Theseus’ lips. “Do you fancy the girl, Newt?”

Newt lit up instantly, regardless of Theseus’s teasing. He sucked in a sharp breath and turned towards his coat rack to grab his jacket, slipping it on with great haste. Newt pushed his brother aside, casting a spell to activate the wards at his house.

Newt practically ran to the apothecary, the door swinging open to find a mass of people in line. He didn’t care. He pushed to the front, resting when he got to the counter. He scanned the store, trying to find you but came up empty.

“Newt?”

The sandy haired man whipped around, finding you walking out of the backroom, boxes in hand. Newt sighed, a warmth spreading inside of him at the sight of you. He ran up to you and alleviated the weight from your hands, resting the box on the counter.

“How are you feeling?” he asked through labored breaths.

“I’m...fine. Were you just running?”

Newt was never a good liar. He always got caught one way or another. “Yes…? I desperately need some Dittany.”

A knowing smile toyed at your lips as you raised your brows at him. “Dittany? Did your brother not give you the two vials like he said he would?”

Newt Scamander: expert in magical creatures, failure in lying.

“...right. I meant that I need some of that fruit you gave Pickett a few weeks ago.”

You snorted with laughter before pulling out the form and filling it out with the items, name, and his home address. You cut through the throng of people, snatching a tin up and preparing some of the fruit for Newt.

He began to rifle through his jacket pockets in an attempt to find some money for the treats he didn’t really need.

“How much is it-”

“It’s on the house, Newt. I’m pretty sure you’re our best customer, anyway.”

Newt looked up at you for a moment, his lips curling upwards at your kindness. “I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it. You know,” you began as you labeled the tin, “being sick wasn’t all that bad. Kept me away from work and all. Let me take a break.” 

Newt nodded, feeling selfish for wishing you to be at work all the time just so he could see you. “Right,” was all he managed to say.

“The worst part”--you shoved the tin into Newt’s arms-- “was not seeing you.”

The tips of Newt’s ears began to heat up. He wanted to say something clever so desperately but all he managed to do was stare at you in complete shock, eyes wide and jaw slack. 

He watched as your eyes flickered down towards the tin, seemingly awaiting a reaction. Newt furrowed his brow before glancing down at the writing on there, blinking in shock. He reread it a few more times, only looking up when he heard you chuckle.

“Is this serious?” he asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because it’s-- well it’s-- it’s me, and you’re you. You’re just...you’re you and I’m me, and I just didn’t think that you’d feel that way-”

“Newt,” you cut off, laughter spilling from your lips, “I happen to like you being you. Funny how those things work.”

Newt couldn’t process what you had just said. It was like everything in the world had tipped in his favor all at once. Just that gorgeous, encapsulating smile on your face was proof enough for him.

“Reckon I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he finally managed to say, backing up the best he could towards the door.

“Tomorrow night,” confirmed. Newt was nearly at the door when you called out, “It’s a date!”

He slipped outside, getting a breath of fresh air for the first time in 15 minutes. He ran a hand through his hair, just then realizing that his heart was pounding out of his chest, his grin so wide that his cheeks began to ache. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t be bothered to. Newt looked down at the label one last time, chuckling at the note.

Thursday. 7 PM. Your place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

general taglist: @pandaxnienke @lunalovecroft @for-bebbanburg

[trixree]

Okay so I had a panic attack in a Costco today and had a really unexpected (but wonderful) reminder that the person I am with is The Right Person For Me and I wanted to share this stupidly long story.

So my SO has to get a couple immunizations updated, so he tempts me along with him to Costco with the promise of pizza. And look. Look. Costco stressed me the FUCK out before the pandemic, alright? Fuck that place and it's lawlessness and massive, impossible-to-drive carts and families that pull up with ALL 4.5 of their children, okay? Costco sucks. But I was... utterly unprepared for how much WORSE Costco is DURING A PANDEMIC. (Don't worry, I had an N95 under a tripple-layer cloth mask and I stripped out of my clothes as soon as I got home. I'm not taking any chances, pizza be DAMNED.)

You'd think the giant signs everywhere reminding people to keep 6ft from one another would do something to temper the Usual Pre-COVID madness of a Suburban Area Costco on a Saturday afternoon. You'd be fuckin' w r o n g. The aisles are still lawless. The families are still there. Hell, it's all families. Not a single child is wearing their masks correctly. Everyone is glaring at me. I'm sweating. I'm not okay. I am in EVERYONE'S way no matter what I do. I must have said "sorry" approximately 30 times in the span of 20 minutes. My arms are short. The carts are hard for me to maneuver. I'm trying to stay 6ft away from everyone and succeeding Not At All because all these impatient white women keep running up on me to snag some fuckin bananas and I'm TRYING. MY BEST!!!!! It is loud. There are humans everywhere. Im d yi ng .

I go to my SO at the pharmacy. I have all that I could ever desire from this nightmarish place. "I have to wait 30min," he says. What little remained of my sanity dissolved like wet tissue paper. Very logically, as I am firing on All Cylinders and at 110% Capacity, I decide to go put the freezer items back so they don't melt while we wait. The freezer section is on the entire opposite side of the store, a good two miles away. As I bend down to put the yakisoba back in the freezer, my purse slips off my shoulder and smacks me in the face. I come back to the pharmacy, almost definitely sweating visibly through my clothes at this point.

I cannot overstate how badly I want to go home. Navigating these crowds is like that scene in Finding Nemo where all the grey fish are crammed together in that big ass fishing net and are panicking and wriggling every which way trying to escape. I somehow end up with the books at one point??? I'm so stupid. Copies upon copies of Obama's memoir stare at me with open disappointment.

SO and I decide that I will check out with the groceries and chill in the car while he gets his immunization, because I am clearly Losing My Fucking Shit. We trek all the way back to the freezer section and reclaim the items I just put back. As we get in line to self checkout, I almost take out this man at the kneecaps with the cart. I'm so sorry, sir. I was Not Okay.

It is finally our turn. I'm so close. So close to the blissful quiet of the car.

"You need two of those," the gatekeeper of the self checkout says incomprehensibly, pointing at the big thing of muffins in my cart. She might as well have been speaking Mandarin at me. I did NOT understand. I thought the Costco police were coming.

"I'm sorry, say that again?" I am choking on my fucking brains.

"You can't just buy one pack of muffins. It's two for one. It's 'cheating the member' otherwise."

There are moments in life that just utterly break you, body and spirit. This was one of those moments.

There were literally tears in my eyes. I would pay actual money to know what this woman's impression of me was in this moment. I would p a y.

I turn around, almost bumping into about 3 people as I do. My SO follows me. We stop, ironically, by the giant packs of assorted nuts, which I am deathly allergic to.

"I cannot do this, I gotta go. I gotta go." SO takes one look at me and hands me the car keys.

Now once I am no longer about to vomit, I'm in a whole DIFFERENT spiral of Anxiety because I think, "oh god. He's so fucking mad at me, isn't he? He just wanted company and I fucked it up. I'm such a goddamn child." I text him NINE (9) TIMES. NINE TIMES.

Two minutes later he shows up at the car with all the groceries and holy fucking shit,,, he isn't mad at all.

I almost cried again just from the relief of it. He wasn't mad at me. He handled the situation when I had to bail. He went back, got that damn second pack of muffins, and checked out on his own. He brought the stuff out to the car, checked on me with a truly infinite amount of patience, went back in for his immunization, and came back out with pizza for the both of us.

The best partners are those that can step in when we need it most, without complaint. Even when we melt down over the stupidest shit.

[whimpering-hearts]

Coffee Break : aph crack drabble

Coffee Break

Featuring: Norway, Finland, England (ft. Denmark)

Words: 1,786

Genre: comedy, action,

A/N: I had a burst of inspiration to write this at 1am. I was inspired by how dependent on coffee I became during Finals week lol. I have no idea if this story makes sense, but it was great fun to write, and I hope that people find it enjoyable! :)

- 

It was painful for some people to accept it, but sometimes sacrifices must be made for the sake of the greater good. That went for health, too. As much as some people enjoyed the taste of cookie crumbs and bubbling soda on their tongues, in the end, all sugar caused was trouble. It was known for causing bad diseases, making people obese, and a series of other unhealthy habits.

Arthur Kirkland hadn’t minded when the World Counsel of Health had decided to ban it in large dose and raise the price so people would buy less. To be fair, Arthur’s food was awful and he had no taste for what sugar had to offer to some of the finest pastries and desserts in Europe. His food was borderline inedible.

So when the World Counsel of Health had decided that caffeine was harmful to the growth of the human body and assisted sleep deprivation and mood swings, Arthur hadn’t cared much. He’d always been more of a tea drinker – it was so much more proper than coffee, at least in his mind. Arthur was still caught up in his glory days. Caffeine was turned into a prescription drug that one could only buy if a doctor approved it beforehand, and even then it was ridiculously expensive. That also meant that coffee was internationally taken off the shelves.

But while Arthur hadn’t minded the take away of coffee and caffeine, other’s definitely did. People around him were in tears; some were sobbing in the streets for days, and a certain Nordic was so outraged that he nearly set his capital on fire. Wasn’t there a time Arthur had been surrounded by people crying in the past? Yes, when was that? Oh wait, it was his Alfred’s Revolution and he’d been the one who was crying with the rest of the British Army. Oh well, there’s a first time for everything.

It was a day like any spring day, however the English weather had decided to give Arthur a break and show some sun. Arthur felt like it had been ages since he’d last seen the sun without any clouds. It was the perfect day to get outside and walk around the city; he’d be a tourist in his own city for a day. The blond visited all the popular sights, Trafalgar Square, the London Eye, Buckingham Palace – these were all sights he’d seen countless times over the years. 

Finally, at some point in the afternoon, he decided to stop by a drugstore to pick up a much needed new comb and some first aid supplies. You just never knew what was going to happened these days. Kids were crazy and it seemed that their parents had failed to implement proper manners. However, Arthur wasn’t a first-rate caretaker either, as Alfred had declared independence as soon as he understood the concept, and then everyone followed in suit.

Arthur had just rounded a corner into another aisle when Arthur got a bad feeling in his stomach. No, not his stomach, his gut. After living centuries, Arthur had learned to trust his gut, and was telling him that something wasn’t right. 

As if to answer his question, suddenly there was the sound of warning gun shots shooting up into the roof and then shouting. Arthur threw himself to the ground, backed himself up against the shelf and peered out towards the door. There stood two men, completely dressed in back with ski masks on.

The man on the left fired his gun into the air, blasting holes int he ceiling. Some gasps came from around the store, and by this point everyone was on the floor, holding their heads and trying to stay as low as possible. Arthur watched carefully as the two men walked around, holding their guns, but to Arthur for some reason they didn’t seem that intimidating.

“This is a robbery!” one of the men shouted. “If everyone remains where they are then we won’t have to take you hostage.”

Some more gasps and cries came from the people in the store at the possibility of being taken hostage. A mother gripped her child closer.

“Wait, what,” one of the robbers whispered under his breath to the guy who had announced everything. “I said I wasn’t comfortable with that stuff,” he whispered.

“Tino, be quiet,” the other man bit back under his breath. “I’m just trying to scare them. We’re not hurting anyone. Now stop talking.”

The man – Tino – continued to point his gun at people as he and his partner made their way deeper into the store. As they moved, everyone huddled close to the floor and ducked their heads in fear of making eye contact with the madmen. The two men walked up to prescription desk, which a woman was crouched behind, shaking in fear of what might happen to her.

“You,” the more aggressive man pointed at her, and she trembled even more. “You’re going to load all this store’s caffeine tablets and coffee bags into this duffle bag–” the man threw a grey duffle bag onto the counter as he spoke, “– and don’t lie to me,” he continued with a cold tone as he pointed the gun. “Just because you don’t have them out on the shelves doesn’t mean you don’t have them. I know they’re in the back. You’d better bring all of them to me.”

The woman stuttered and started to speak, but she quickly figured that it was best not to argue with these men and just do what they wanted. Tears caused by worry ran down her face as she picked herself up, nodded and quickly began to load the packages of caffeine into the grey duffle bag. Arthur must have spotted at least over a hundred pills of caffeine get dumped into the bag. 

When the woman finished, she put her hands in the air and mumbled, “I need to go to the back room to get the coffee packets. I promise I won’t run.” Her visible trembles could be seen from half way across the store. She was terrified to death. Arthur actually pitied her, and he could relate. He wasn’t afraid anymore, as this wasn’t his first time in this type of situation. However, that didn’t mean he was going to play the role of the hero.

“Ja, you’re not going to run away,” the more dominant of the robbers stated confidently. He gestured to the man next to him with his hand. “Go with her and make sure she doesn’t run.”

Tino seemed uncertain. “Oh, okay. Wait, what are you going to do?” He questioned.

“Stay here and make sure nobody runs or calls the cops.”

Tino asked no more questions and disappeared into the back room with the woman. At least he seemed a bit more sympathetic than the other guy. Who were these people? Were they actually at a a pharmacy to steal coffee and caffeine? Why not the money? Who would be this desperate to steal caffeine and coffee? These two people apparently. So many questions that Arthur wasn’t sure which were the most important to answer. One thing he knew though was that he’d been in worse situations, but this was one of the…strangest. Of course, there had been weirder situations, given the things Arthur used to get into with Vladimir and Lukas. 

After a bit, Tino and the woman reappeared. Tino nodded to the man indicating that everything had been taken care of. The man, who’d remained in the room, took the bag from him and slung it over his shoulder. As he turned around, he scanned the room with his gun. More gasps and yelps of fear came from the crowd, but Arthur knew that these two weren’t going to shoot anyone. They probably didn’t even have the guts to shoot someone, but Arthur didn’t want to test that theory.

“Okay, we’re leaving now,” the unnamed man announced. “Nobody is allowed to call the police for three minutes. If I hear sirens before three minutes, I will blow this place up.”

Even more gasps came from the crowd. Arthur knew that it was probably a lie, but he wasn’t going to take his chances.

“That’s right. I’ve rigged this place with TNT, and if you don’t listen to me, I will blow all of you up,” he explained as he and his partner made their way to the entrance door. Over twenty pairs of eyes followed them as they did so, each counting down the seconds until they’d be safe, again.

“Okay, all of you’d better wait three minutes or I’ll know.”

With that both men ran out of the store, and everyone heaved a deep breath of relief.

The two men ran around to the back of the store, the sound of their breath and footsteps echoing in the dead air. They stopped behind the store, near some crates to catch their breath. The man carrying the bag dropped it on the ground and yanked off his ski mask, revealing a messy head of blond hair.

“What in the world was that, Lukas?” Tino asked as he tugged off his own mask. “You went off script.”

“I wanted my coffee,” Lukas responded, sounding as if there was nothing wrong with what he’d just done. “Where is Matthias? He’s suppose to be here.”

Tino just scoffed and took a few steps away from the Norwegian, who glanced over at him. Tino crossed his arms and gave another scoff of disbelief. “I can’t believe you just threatened to kill everyone in there. You terrified those innocent people half to death, you know?”

Lukas just shrugged his shoulders and continued looking around. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Where the heck was Matthias? How were they suppose to get away without their getaway driver?

At last, Lukas saw a car that resembled the one Matthias had dropped them off in pull up to the curb. Lukas had told him to wait there, not drive around the parking lot like a lost puppy. Lukas signaled for Tino to pick up the bag and put it in back with him; Lukas would take the front seat.

As Lukas opened the front door, he was greeted by Matthias’ smiling face. He looked so happy despite being a getaway driver.

“Your Uber driver is here,” Mathias greeted with a wide smile. Oh, he thought he was so funny, didn’t he. Tino quickly threw the duffle bag in the car and both men piled in.

“Hey, want to hear something special?” Lukas asked Matthias as he threw his seatbelt on and the car began to take off.

“Yeah!”

“You’re an idiot.”

[keelywolfe]

FIC: That Which We Call a Rose: Part 2

Summary: Stretch has been going through a bad time.

Notes: Part of ‘by any other name’. Part One is here 

Also on AO3

WARNINGS: Depiction of depression, mental health issues, nightmares, implications of past character death during resets, hurt/comfort, medication, non-graphic references to past self-harm, possibly something I’ve missed.

~~*~~

The office was tidy and elegant, with real art on the walls rather than prints. There were two loveseats in the waiting area and one corner of the room contained a large, mahogany desk, empty of occupant. The overall effect was one of opulence and, not for the first time, Edge wondered how Sans had come across this particular doctor. 

The wall opposite of him held a door and that was where Stretch and the doctor had gone, leaving him here with the wifi and his laptop, nothing to do but work as he waited.

He was clearing up his work schedule, which he’d planned to do anyway with the wedding looming, but now he wanted to spend a little more time at home without seeming as if he was hovering. Be there if Stretch needed him and he could stay out of his way if he didn’t.

Hopefully, Stretch would admit which it was.

For the past week, Stretch had been a shining example of put togetherness. When Edge returned from work every day, the house was as spic and span clean as Stretch ever managed; if he’d left any requests for the day, be it laundry or putting dinner in the oven, it was done, the chickens cared for, the bed made, and Stretch nearly determinedly happy to see him.

In a word, unconvincing.

The card house of it all had collapsed with another nightmare and Edge had only soothed him through it without question.

The next day Stretch dug out the business card Sans had given him and deliberately called the number right in front of Edge, clearly resentful, and made an appointment with clipped words. They’d gotten him in the very next day which made Edge wonder what precisely Sans had told them.

Not fifteen minutes later Stretch had been curled up in his lap, obviously trying to communicate that he was angry and resentful, but he still loved him. Not that Edge needed the reassurance. If there was one thing he didn’t doubt in all this it was Stretch’s feelings for him, but still. It was nice to have it confirmed.

That left him here, in the waiting room with his laptop, and his own concerns churning in his soul. It didn’t matter what happened, really; whether it came that the therapist was unable to help or if she was. Either way, they would go home and carry on together. But he couldn’t not try, it was too painful to see his lover with dark shadows beneath his sockets, to listen to him scream from his nightmares.  Something was pushing his normal quiet depression into whatever this was and if it could be helped, Edge was willing to try whatever was necessary.

This was the right choice, he told himself. It was.

Exactly one hour after the door had closed, it slammed open hard enough to bounce off the opposite wall. Stretch stormed out, completely ignoring Edge and walking out the door. Edge exhaled slowly. Well, that hadn’t been excruciatingly painful to see.

He packed up his laptop slowly, lingering, and eventually the doctor came out. She looked surprised to see him.

“Hello, can I help you?” She asked politely. Dr. Lee, a clinical psychiatrist, specializing in PTSD. He’d researched her credentials thoroughly before even allowing Stretch to walk through the door.

“Yes,” Edge said, returning her politeness in like. “I’d like to know how he is.”

Her expression turned to one of bland sympathy. “I’m afraid all my sessions are confidential.”

“I’m his partner,” Edge said evenly. Soon to be spouse.

“I am aware of that and I’d tell you the same if you were a parent or a sibling.” There was a thread of steel in her voice that normally Edge would appreciate. Not in this situation, not now.

Frustratingly, he already knew this anyway; he worked with troubled children and while he was hardly a therapist himself, he’d had some training as a way of ensuring he was able to reassure the children who did seek help.

It didn’t make it easier to hear.

Enough of dancing around the topic, he may as well ask the question he truly wanted answered. “We are getting married in three weeks.”

Again, she was blandly neutral, her expression gave nothing away. “Congratulations.”

It had been a long time since he’d wanted to hurt someone as much as he did this woman. He wanted to shake her and demand answers. “I’m not sure if we should.”

“Why?”

Edge resisted the urge to tell her he didn’t need a therapist. “He hasn’t been doing well. Is this the right time to be making that step?”

“I can’t answer that question.” Some of her steel melted into gentleness, “I can say that people with depression and mental health issues can and do get married all the time. I’m sure it’s something we will discuss and a choice I may help him with, but I won’t decide for either of you.”

Well, at least he could see why Sans had chosen this woman to trust with his secrets.

She went to the empty desk and pulled out an appointment card, neatly writing in a time and handing it to Edge. “I’d like to see him again on Thursday.”

“Twice in one week?” Edge frowned, glancing at the card.

“Is that a problem?”

He shook his head. No. It wasn’t a problem for him.

She leaned against her desk. “I’d like to spend a little more time with Papyrus to get to know him better, establish trust.”

Good luck with that. Wait… “He let you call him Papyrus?”

“Yes? He requested that I do.” She was already reaching for a notepad, scribbling hastily. “It’s also listed on his paperwork.” She looked up at him over the rim of her glasses. “Is there an issue with that I should know about?”

“I’m not sure,” Edge admitted. Stretch had left his name as Papyrus on all his paperwork when they’d come to the surface. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time but then, they had barely been on speaking terms. His own paperwork listed him as Edge, he’d abandoned the name Papyrus before they’d ever seen the sun. “Did you tell him that you wanted to see him on Thursday?”

“I did,” she said, again, carefully bland.

Edge sighed. “Can I assume that explains his exit?”

She smiled wryly. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

He didn’t know what he’d been hoping for. She’d only spoken to Stretch for an hour and from the look of things, he’d been spectacularly unhelpful. Edge could only bring him to the door, what happened past it was beyond his control.

“I’ll bring him,” Edge told her firmly.

“You can’t force him,” she said softly. “All that will get you is resentment and a bill.”

Edge bit back the words he wanted to say, the profanity burning unspoken and only nodded curtly and followed his lover’s path out the door, albeit a little less forcefully.

Stretch was already in the car, staring out the window. On the dashboard there was a clutter of wadded up papers, scattered as if they’d been thrown.

“What’s this?” Edge picked one up, smoothing the paper.

“buncha shit i don’t need.”

“Odd, they look like prescriptions.”

“that’s what i said.”

“Love—“ Edge began, and he knew what he was going to say. About understanding how difficult this was, about how it had helped Sans, they all knew it had. About the simple fact that it was because he cared so much that he wanted Stretch to at least try. He had made a spreadsheet listing his reasons and calm, rational ways to explain them and every one fled his thoughts as he watched a quiver run through Stretch, another, until he’d curled in on himself and tears were streaming down his cheekbones.

Wordlessly, Edge pulled him close and held him while he cried.

“please don’t make me come again,” he whimpered. “please.”

Edge held him but didn’t say anything.

The tears dried up eventually and Stretch pulled away from him, angrily wiping at his face with his sleeves. Distantly, Edge was grateful that the stains would disappear as the magic dissolved. Stretch loved that shirt.

He felt a little cold, a sort of numb weariness settling into his soul. He had no doubt that tears were real, but he also knew Stretch wasn’t above using the tools that he had to get the results that he wanted.

Numbness quickly faded into surprise when Stretch opened the car door. “What are you doing?”

“i’m taking the bus home.”

“Don’t do this…please.”

He wasn’t sure if Stretch heard him over the door slamming. The temptation to follow him, either on foot or in the car, was overwhelming. Edge resisted it and let him walk away. Stretch was an adult and he took the bus everywhere in this blasted city. It wasn’t going to hurt him to take the bus home—

Except for the time it almost had, it was only once, it only took once

—and it would give them both a chance to cool off. Edge sighed. Or a chance for both of them to stew about it and get up a good head of steam for a real argument at home. Either option was possible.

It would be fine, Edge told himself and started the car. Another visit, perhaps two, would convince him that this was necessary and if it didn’t, then he would stop pushing for it and they would simply deal with this as they had every other problem life at thrown at them both. He’d dealt with so much worse, they both had, but just this once he was hoping for a better solution than simply surviving.

Stretch’s happiness was not too much to ask of the universe.

He stopped on the way to fill the prescriptions, wandering through the pharmacy idly while he waited and ignoring any sidelong glances Humans sent his way as he wandered down aisles of vitamins and cold medicines. None of the pharmacists had given their crumpled state a second glance. He wondered sourly how often they’d seen something similar.

Stretch wasn’t home when he arrived, but that was not unexpected. Even if he’d chosen to come directly home the bus ride was nearly twice as long as driving. He took the time to note the name of each medication in his excel worksheet along with possible side effects he’d read about in the accompanying paperwork. Then he put them aside, for now. One battle at a time.

An hour after he would have expected Stretch to be home, Edge texted him, a simply a query as to when he’d be here so Edge would know when to start dinner.

There was no reply so either he was still sulking, or he’d turned off his phone. A quick call was sent directly to voicemail.

He waited another half an hour, finishing the last of his paperwork before he called Jeff to see if maybe Stretch had gone to the bookstore.

“No, I haven’t heard from him in a few days,” Jeff said. Papers rustled in the background, then the clatter of fingers on a keyboard. “Doesn’t look like he’s picked up anything while I wasn’t here, either. To be honest, I was going to call today, anyway, he hasn’t posted anything to twitter in a day or so. He okay?”

“He’s fine,” Edge said stiffly. If Stretch hasn’t told Jeff anything then Edge was hardly going to offer any of his secrets. He allowed Jeff to solicit a promise for a text from him when he found Stretch and ended the call.

He tried he coffee shop next and the barista at the beanery had sounded a little harried when she’d answered the phone, but she’d softened immediately when Edge told her who it was. “No, we haven’t seen him in at least a week, is he doing okay?”

This time, he didn’t reply, only thanked her and hung up before finding Blue’s number in his contact list.

“How long has it been since you’ve heard from him,” Blue asked him calmly.

“He’s only two hours overdue,” Edge said. “I wouldn’t normally be concerned—"

“But he’s going through a bad patch,” Blue sighed. “I could tell when I met him for lunch this week. Relentless cheer and dark circles.”

“Yes,” Edge agreed, softly. He didn’t tell Blue about the nightmares, kept Stretch’s secrets but he didn’t doubt that Blue knew regardless.

“Give it a little more time,” Blue said at last. “He’s probably outside somewhere smoking entirely too much. He does have a talent for holding a grudge.”

Yes. Edge knew that entirely too well.

Edge waited while the light outside faded into twilight. He made dinner in silence, he didn’t want his phone to ping and miss it because of the radio and when he finished, he realized didn’t have the appetite for it. He covered both plates carefully with foil and put them in the refrigerator, and went to sit on the sofa, his phone in his hands.

Another hour crawled by.

He unlocked his phone and searched through the apps. He’d never done this, had never allowed himself to. His urges to keep Stretch safe often clashed with his knowledge that Stretch’s tolerance for it only went so far, rightfully so. He’d never used the tracking app on his phone to search for his location. He used it now.

It informed him that Stretch’s phone was offline.

He closed the app and called his brother.

Red picked up after two rings. “ebott mortuary, you snuff ‘em, we stuff ‘em.”

“Brother,” Edge said quietly, “I need your help.”

All humor dropped instantly. “tell me everything.”

Red listened silently to the whole story, Edge left nothing out, the nightmares, Stretch’s troublesome week, their appointment at the therapist. He spoke to his brother until he could think of nothing else.

“give me an hour.” Red hung up.

Edge waited, and he plugged in his phone to keep the battery charged. The house was eerily silent; Stretch always had something playing, the television, a podcast, even a fan when they slept. White noise, he called it, it helped settle his constantly running thoughts.

Red called back less than twenty minutes later. “got a camera angle of him getting on the bus. still searching for where he got off. this isn’t london, ebott doesn’t have the cameras of a big city, but they have enough. i’ll find him.”

He didn’t promise. He didn’t need to, Edge heard it nonetheless.

The phone rang again ten minutes later but it was only Blue, “I know you’d call if you’d heard something, but I couldn’t help myself,” Blue confessed.

“Nothing yet. I asked Red to look into it,” Edge told him.

“If anyone can find him, it would be that reprobate you call brother,” Blue said with gentle humor, but Edge couldn’t bring himself to even smile.

“He’s been going through a very bad time,” Edge said softly. There was question he did not want to ask. Edge refused to shy from it and asked it anyway; he loved Stretch with all his soul, but no one knew him better than his brother. “Do you think he’d hurt himself?”

Blue’s silence was not the reassurance he’d been hoping for. “I hope not,” he said at last. “It’s been a long time since he did anything like that. Before we came to this universe.”

That was a conversation for another time. For now, he’d gotten his answer even if it hadn’t been the one he wanted.

Edge promised to call if he heard anything and ended the call, waiting for either his brother or Stretch to call him.  

It was closing in on midnight. One of Stretch’s hoodies was hanging haphazardly on the back of a chair, likely tossed there the day before instead of being hung up like it was supposed to be. Edge picked it up and started to put it away. The fabric was soft and well-worn, and he ended up sitting back down on the sofa, pressing his face into the soft folds. It smelled like Stretch; cigarettes and the persistent sweetness of his magic.

The door opened softly and Edge looked up.

Stretch stood there, hands in his pockets, and he crumpled the moment their eye lights met. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry.”

There was no artifice or manipulation him in now, only miserable sorrow. Edge didn’t care. He crossed the room in three long strides, grabbed him and held him tight. He didn’t cry, wasn’t sure if he even could, but he shuddered and clutched him.

Thin fingers cupped his skull, cold against the bone. “i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to be gone so long and worry you. i’m an asshole but i’m not that much of an asshole.”

He didn’t ask where Stretch had been, he didn’t care; right now, he was warm and safe and in Edge’s arms. His knees felt weak, watery with relief, and when he sank to the floor, Stretch went with him, still whispering apologies.

“oh, don’t,” he said, brokenly. “i’m so sorry, babe, i didn’t mean to—

“Don’t,” Edge said hoarsely. “I don’t care. You’re safe, that’s all I care about.”

“no, bullshit, that’s bullshit,” Stretch said angrily, wiping away tears. “you don’t get to forgive me like that! i got you all worked up just because i fell asleep on the damn bus.”

“You…what?” He drew away enough to look at Stretch. Embarrassed color was high in his cheekbones.

“so yeah, i was pissed off and tired when i left? i was gonna just ride around for a little while but I must’ve fallen asleep on the bus,” Stretch mumbled. “i guess the driver didn’t see me, i was all the way in the back. i woke up in the damn lot with all the lights off. had to teleport out and my phone was dead, so i couldn’t even take an uber. it took me twenty minutes just to get to someplace so I could call a cab.”

He fell asleep. On the bus. Edge couldn’t help laughing, a touch hysterically. “They’re supposed to check buses before the driver leaves.”

“yeah, well, i guess i wasn’t the only one asleep on the job.”

“I suppose you weren’t. What bus number were you on?”

He asked it casually, but apparently not casually enough. Stretch shook his head. “uh no, not letting you get someone fired over this.”

That was fine, he’d get it from Red.

He pulled Stretch to his feet and guided him to the sofa. There were calls he needed to make but for now, he needed a moment to feel Stretch in his arms. He basked in the feel of his light weight, the smell of cigarettes and magic, much stronger than the forgotten sweatshirt. Stretch buried his face into Edge’s shirt, his breathing ragged.

“i keep dreaming about you dusting,” Stretch confessed softly. He kept his face down, hidden, “i don’t know why it’s happening now, but i can’t make it stop. it’s like it happened back…back during the resets. instead of my bro, it’s you.”

“Love,” Edge didn’t know all of what had happened, but he knew enough, from soft confessions on dark nights that Stretch had seen his brother die.  “I know you don’t want to hear this but—“

Stretch interrupted him, his voice small. “can you take me back thursday?”

“Whatever you need,” Edge told him and pulled him in tightly. Always.

He closed his sockets briefly and breathed in deeply, then forced his arms to loosen. “I should make some calls.”

Stretch nodded, his skull scraping Edge’s shirt. “let me help. i’m betting you need me to talk to blue.” He sighed mournfully, “he’s gonna be pissed.”

“He loves you.”

“well, yeah, i know that,” Stretch pulled away and gave him a grin. “still gonna be pissed though.”

Reluctant as he was to allow Stretch out of his sight, he didn’t protest when he went to the kitchen to call Blue. He took the opportunity of privacy to call his brother and explain what had happened.

“well, shit,” Red snorted, “never thought about him not getting off the fucking bus. i mean, i did but not like that—"

“Yes, thank you, you can stop there,” Edge said sharply. He’d had more than enough thinking about Stretch dusting on those blasted buses. With his brother in the loop, he sent off the promised text to Jeff before switching off his phone. There was only one person he wanted to pay attention to right now and he was coming out of the kitchen even now.

He looked like he’d been crying again, his face still faintly damp. But he set his phone down gently, plucking his lighter from his pocket to fidget with it. “okay, where are those meds,” Stretch sighed, “i know you got them.”

“I did,” Edge agreed softly and Stretch made a face.

“I’m only taking the ones to help me sleep,” he warned.

“That’s fine.” Small steps

The medication seemed to work, alleviating Edge’s fears that it wouldn’t affect their physiology. Soon enough Stretch was drowsing in his lap. His skull rested on Edge’s femur, his hand curled laxly on Edge’s knee.

Edge didn’t sleep. He’d never needed as much as Stretch or Red, his high HP carrying him for far longer. He stayed awake and guarded over his lover’s dreams. Watched as he slept on peacefully for tonight.

 -finis-

[darkjanet2]

Drusilla’s Soul Ch. 17 Part 1.

Los Angeles, Ca 7:15 PM, Wolfram & Hart

A brown-haired man was typing on a computer as he was doing his research. His name was Lindsey McDonald and he was a lawyer of Wolfram & Hart.

He heard a phone beep.

“Mr. McDonald, we have your visitor here. He wanted to speak with you”, said the lady on the intercom phone.

“Send him in,'' he said.

A platinum blonde man walked into his office, he wore a black leather duster, black shirt and pants, and black combat boots. He was in punk style.

“Ah, Spike. It’s great to see you”, said Lindsey.

“ How do I go about hiring you blokes? I’ve got a job that’s right up your street”, said Spike.

“What do you need?” he asked.

“I want to find Drusilla’s whereabouts, she still has a soul and I can use that to my advantage", Spike said.

"Over at Wolfram & Hart anything is possible, but only if you can pay our fee it's a business, not a charity", said Lindsey.

"You get the money, but you get half up front only the rest when the bloody job is done", Spike said.

The brunette man looked at Spike and grinned.

"Sounds like we have a deal then, Mr. Spike," The man said.

"It is a deal as long as we have it clear that you get paid the rest of your money when you finish the job," Spike said.

Spike turned to walk out around the office.

"The money, Spike? Do you believe that Drusilla is a hero?" asked Lindsey, mockingly.

Spike slammed his fist on Lindsey’s desk and yelled, “SHE IS NOT A HERO!!” with his angry vampiric face.

Lindsey calmly smirked, “Alright, calm down.”

Spike calmed down and reverted his human face.

“Now you want to know where Drusilla is, I heard she’s on a mission trip to Japan. But she won’t return and it has been 2 weeks for her mission,” said Lindsey.

“Then I knew she still had a damn soul and always helped people. I want to call up Deacon Frost to remove the soul. I’ll have my minions arrange the ship and I will also contact Angelus.” said Spike.

“Well, perhaps I can call Angelus to invade Japan, and I bet he will terrorize this country,” Lindsey smirked, evilly, and began to call Angelus.

Angelus at The Standard, Downtown LA

Angelus was on the phone and he was told to be prepared to take a trip to Japan, and he knew Drusilla’s whereabouts.

“Alright, I’ll be there.” Angelus hung up his iPhone 11 as naked Darla wrapped around his bare torso, resting her chin on his strong shoulder, caressing his strong arms, kissed his cheek.

“He found Drusilla. She’s at Odaiba,” said Angelus.

“Do they find out?” asked Darla.

“He said that Drusilla was on a mission trip, now we can hunt her down. Deacon will be able to extract her soul and she will work with us together again,” said Angelus.

“What are you planning to do, Angelus?” asked Darla.

“I can make her insane once more. Get dressed, we’ll get a ship.” said Angelus.

The Next Morning Odaiba, Japan 5:34 AM

Drusilla was released from the hospital and got her prescriptions of Zoloft and Opana from the pharmacy. She was at the Dai-Ichi Hotel Tokyo Seafort for a room to stay. She was FaceTiming her friends staying at her house to see how they were doing. Drusilla told them about the situation where evil Digimon attacked the city and she had a battle with LadyDevimon when she tried to kill her, then a beautiful angel arrived in the nick of time and pulverized the demon. The two kids came to rescue her before she blacked out.

“You were in the hospital?! Are you okay?!” shocked Britney.

“I’m fine, my body feels a little sore, but I’m fine. So how are you doing? Did you treat Jade well?” asked Drusilla.

“Yeah, we fed her, groomed her, and played with her. Jade was doing very well,” said Britney.

“That’s great. Where’s David?” she asked.

“Oh, he went to the pet store to buy more cat food,” Britney explained. “So anyway, how long have you been in a coma?”

“About two weeks and I haven’t returned until next month. When I entered the concert, the creatures were called Digimon. Those kids were talking about rampaging the city. The military tried to shoot them down, but they did not affect them. And Matt has a partner named Gabumon, then he took out the strange device and flashed light onto Gabumon, transformed into a metallic wolf!” exclaimed Drusilla.

“No way!” exclaimed Britney.

“Yes, way. Besides, Matt guided me to the safe place to take me to the parking garage. He told me to stay here, but I denied it because I want to help people even if he thought I was a human.” said Drusilla.

“Did you reveal the truth you’re a vampire?” asked Britney.

“No, I don’t want him to know my secret. But he was surprised that I had superhuman strength and I’d had to deal with this LadyDevimon chick,” said Drusilla.

“And did you go vamp?” asked Britney, incredulously.

“Yes, while he was away, two of us started to fight. Fast forward, LadyDevimon was about to finish me off, and it hit something behind her, a beautiful angel appeared in the parking garage and annihilated her. I thought it was crazy, but she saved my life.” said Drusilla.

“I knew this was your guardian angel,” said Britney.

“I know, but I didn’t pray. I think this angel is a Digimon?” asked Drusilla.

“I doubt it,” Britney said. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay. I thought Japan was pretty cool, but that was crazy that Digimon attacked the city,” said Britney.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, they are rebuilding them right now.” said Drusilla.

“Well, alright. Rest up, Dru. Hope you come back safely.” said Britney, smiled.

“I will. Bye, Britney.” Drusilla hung up her phone, laying down on the bed, and groaned in exhaustion.

“Goddamn, that was the hell of a week! I can’t believe I redeemed myself for starting a battle with LadyDevimon.” Drusilla sighed, sat up from the bed, and walked to the table where the bag of prescriptions lay.

She opened the bag and picked out two vials: Zoloft and Opana. The pharmacist told her to take one pill of Zoloft in the morning and take one pill of Opana in the afternoon. She took out the paper and read it. She followed the instructions and read about the warning and side effects.

Drusilla opened the vial of Zoloft and took one of these pills, it was a blue pill of 50 milligrams in her hand and put it into her mouth, and swallowed it. Then she downed it with Sprite, that pill she swallowed that went through her esophagus.

Suddenly her body and mind felt relaxed, less anxious, less irritable. Zoloft might decrease fear, anxiety, unwanted thoughts, and the number of panic attacks. She had never felt this before, her mind went clear. She could let go of her painful past that Angelus murdered her family, and knowing that Angelus was already dead.

After that, she took a second vial of Opana to treat her severe pain after surgery. She swallowed it and then she downed a Sprite through her esophagus. Now her body felt more relaxed, her pains were reduced. She felt a little wobble, so she went straight to bed and began to sleep to rest up to her body.

In the Digital World

It was cold and snowy out there, even the aurora borealis appeared to be a beautiful color of blue, green, and violet. There was a beautiful ice castle with a castle-like structure of blocks of ice up the mountain. The groups just walked up to the mountain, finding it beautiful, with the green grass on the ground that also had beautiful flowers sticking out. And that's despite having some snowy spots as well. All while in the snowy mountains of the Digital World, which had them wondering how the grass and the flowers were able to grow here. But they didn't dig for answers since it could've been their magic for all they care.

“Where are we?” asked TK.

“I don't know, but this place looks magical, it's so beautiful and romantic, isn't that right, Ken?” asked Yolei, coyly.

“Uh..yeah, sure,” said Ken, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“I wonder what this place is?” said Kari.

“It's an ice castle where the wise Digimon reside,” said Cody.

“How did you know that, Cody?” asked TK.

“Well, there's a board with a description,” said Cody.

“What? Is it some kind of tourist spot?” asked Davis.

“C'mon guys, let's get in standing here won't get us anywhere,” said TK.

They walked up to the mountain and went inside the beautiful ice castle just like a crystal, which had all its doors and walls made of mirrors.

“Whoa... Seeing up close this place is amazing,” said Yolei.

“Yeah, but why does it look so empty and strangely quiet..?” asked Kari.

“Let’s see what the brochure says, it said today is the day of the ice festival so Digimon around here is busy preparing for the palace,” said Ken, holding his chin in deep thought.

“Aah...I see... No wonder why it's so quiet here, but wait a minute, where did you read that?” asked Davis.

“Here, it's on the brochure,” Ken took a brochure out of his pocket.

“What?! A brochure? In a place like this? Is it a tourist spot?” surprised Davis, widened his eyes.

“Yes, is it,” suddenly a voice caught their attention, it was a blue ogre Digimon with unkempt white long hair, pointed ears adored by earrings, a single horn on its head, and an icicle jutting from each of its shoulders. It's known for having its mouth open nearly all the time with an exaggerated lower jaw similar to Violator and has fang-like tusks on its upper jaw like a traditional Oni.

It wore a black loincloth with a belt, black belts on its right arm, nothing on its left arm, blue bandages on its right leg, and black belts on its left leg. It carried an icicle as a weapon. It had a

skull and crossbones on its left arm below its shoulder icicle, metal studs on the knuckles of its left hand, and a scar on the back of its right hand.

“Who are you?” demanded Davis.

“I’m Hyogamon, the guardian here,” said Hyogamon.

“ICE PUNCH!” He attacked them with his powerful fist emitting the icicle coming right at them.

“Look out!!” Davis cried as he and the group dodged his attack, the icicle shards embedded in the glass walls.

“Davis, time to Digivolve!” said Veemon.

Davis nodded and he began to activate the device.

“DIGIARMOR, ENERGIZE!” Davis yelled out.

“VEEMON, ARMOR DIGIVOLVE TO…”

The flame engulfed Veemon, imagining Agumon, Greymon, MetalGreymon, and WarGreymon. Veemon grew taller, covered with armor flame-like design, the blade protruding out of his mask, claws, and feet.

“FLAMEDRAMON! THE FIRE OF COURAGE!”

Now the four of them yelled out, “DIGIARMOR, ENERGIZE!”

“PATAMON, ARMOR DIGIVOLVE TO… PEGASUSMON! THE SOARING OF HOPE!

“GATOMON, ARMOR DIGIVOLVE TO… NEFERTIMON! THE ANGEL OF LIGHT!”

“HAWKMON, ARMOR DIGIVOLVE TO… HALSEMON! THE WING OF LOVE!”

“ARMADILLOMON, ARMOR DIGIVOLVE TO… DIGMON! THE STEEL OF KNOWLEDGE!”

“WORMON, DIGIVOLVE TO… STINGMON!”

“FIRE ROCKET!” He shot fireballs from his fist at Hyogamon with a critical hit, suddenly there were more Digimon who appeared in the castle, an ovoid mirror Digimon was dressed in green robes and hat, and it was wielding a fan. And there were other Hyogamon that appeared in the battle.

“Looks like we’re outnumbered,” said Ken.

“What should we do?” asked TK.

"We should regroup and come up with a plan," said Ken.

“No way!” Davis said as the others looked at him. “We can do this!”

"If they're gaining forces, we must divide their power by separating them from one another." Ken said.

“Ken is right, we have to gain an advantage somehow." said TK.

“I have an idea, what are the digimon ranks? From there we can solidify a plan to separate them." said Kari.

“Good plan.” said TK.

“Enough talk. Let’s see if we can take you on. SNOW PUNCH!” Hyogamon shot a snowball from his fist as Flamedramon threw a fire which caused the snowball to melt.

“ROSETTA STONE!” Nerfetimon flashed a pink light from her back and shot a stone at Mirrormon which the mirror caused to crack.

“SHOOTING STARS!” Pegasusmon fired the stars at the army of Hyogamon and Mirrormon.

“MIRROR’S REVENGE!” It reflected Pegasusmon’s attack, the shooting stars traveled back towards Pegasusmon.

" W-what?!" Pegasusmon said in shock

The shooting stars sliced Pegasusmon as he yelled and fell backward onto the ground. He lied on the ground, with eyes shut, looking hurt.

“Pegasusmon!” TK cried as he ran towards his partner.

“Be careful! They can reflect your attacks!” warned Ken.

“How do we beat them? They’re so many of them!” cried Yolei.

Davis had a bright idea, “Let’s fuse them together so we can beat them.”

The group agreed, their partners de-digivolving and re-digivolving and fusing together to evolve them into another Digimon.

“XV-MON! STINGMON! DNA DIGIVOLVE TO… PAILDRAMON”

“AQUIALMON! GATOMON! DNA DIGIVOLVE TO… SILPHYMON!”

“ANKYLOMON! ANGEMON! DNA DIGIVOVLE TO… SHAKKOUMON!”

“Charge!” Hyogamon shouted to his comrades to charge at them and be prepared to attack.

“DESPERADO BLASTER!” Paildramon fired his machine guns at the army of Hyogamon and Mirrormon.

“STATIC FORCE!” Silphymon fired a static orb and blasted at them.

“KACHINA BOMBS!” Shakkoumon fired clay disks from its waist and all the army was pulverized.

Now the battle was cleared, they ran the path through the corridor, all the Digimon were locked up in a dungeon.

“Hey, travelers! Help us!” cried Penguinmon.

“What happened?” asked Cody.

“We lived in peace in this castle, we were attacked by Hyogomon and Mirromon and taken to the dungeon. And AncientWisemon has taken over the castle,” said Pengimon.

[kz-i-co]

Dying Light

»  Summary: You and J-Hope get caught in a tight situation

» Pairings: Jung Hoseok (J-Hope)/ Reader

» Genre: Smut | zombie au

» Words: 3.2k

» Part 2

» m.list ╫ bts masterlist

-

"Uh ah.....no way." The leader had the great idea for you to make a trip with a loud ignorant nuisance.

Long story short: Its about 4 years since the outbreak and you lost pretty much everyone but your little sister. You were always on your own but last year you found a group that welcomed you and was able to trust you. And luckily you trust them.

You were pretty handy with a knife. Actually one of the best, so you were in charge to make runs for survival gear. You and your partner Wes would gather the most important items but one day a few months ago you ran into a herd in the city. You manage to get out but Wes didn't. He was bitten.

His last words to you was that it was okay and you needed to leave him. So you did. You were always strong. You never shed one tear since this whole apocalypse but Wes was like a father figure to you.

You always went on your own after that even though Kris said it was too dangerous.

Now onto the nuisance. J-Hope. That's what everyone called him because no one would use their real name during this hard world.

He was the fastest in our group. He could climb buildings like some Samurai ninja and he was handy with any weapon he chose to carry. Him and his partner were always chosen to find weapons and ammo. Usually that would mean sneaking into other camps. You had to be very sneaky for that kind of job. Unfortunately for them his partner ended up getting shot a week ago and he's still recovering.

"Why not, we are running out of medicine." The leader begged. "You two are our best bet."

You huffed but he was correct. "Fine but if he gets us killed." You glared at your boss.

-

You were waiting patiently at the gate waiting for J-hope.

Right on schedule you heard loud laughter coming closer. Once he saw you his face went serious. "Ready?"

"I've been ready." You stated sarcastically.

"Sorry, I had to get some things." He raised his eyebrows.

"Okay." J-Hope motioned the signal to let the both of you through.

Once the gates were open there was only a couple zombies you had to take care of.

To your right you kicked a zombie and stabbed him in the head. The only way to kill a zombie is to attack his brain. You watched to your left as J-Hope slicing a zombie in half with a machete. You hated to admit but he was good. Too good. You never really heard about the before life from anyone in your camp. Makes you want to know their story.

You both got into the car and headed towards the city. You tried to avoid cities from after Wes. You hated them.

"Look there's a handsome zombie." He laughed and was heading straight for a zombie.

"Seriously?"

He was speeding closer and faster. "Okay very funny....you can stop....." He wasn't slowing down. "J-Hope!! STOP!" You had to yell.

He wasn't budging so you grabbed the steering wheel and turn over so you barely grazed the zombie.

The car slowed down more right outside of the city. "What the fuck (Y/N)."

"Me?" You questioned. "Pull over I'm getting out."

"What's wrong?" He came to a complete stop.

You opened the door and grabbed your stuff and headed towards your way.

"(Y/N) wait." He ran to catch up to you.

"Get the fuck away from me." You yelled. Luckily there was no zombies around they were all in the city.

"I was kidding come on."

You turned around. "You think this world is some video game to you?"

"No-"

"You could of killed us don't you understand."

"I wasn't going to hit it-"

"You can go that way and I'll go this way." You turned back around.

"It's not a good idea to separate." He said still lingering behind you.

"I'm better on my own."

"Can we at least meet up? I'll go to the bandits camp in that building and you could check pharmacies over there." You could visibly see the areas he was talking about. "Then we could meet up there...in the mall."

"Anywhere to get away from you." You started walking again.

"You need to learn to laugh (Y/N), being too serious could kill you." You didn't want to fight so you just kept on walking.

...

You decided to take the alleys in the back to avoid the herds that were gathered in the city. You jumped up to the fire escape to climb into a local pharmacy.

You wished J-Hope didn't make you so angry. You actually did care about him. You cared for everyone in your camp. But you were worried for him, he was sneaking into a bandit camp. It was risky. They are usually the ones to sneak into other peoples camp so it was highly dangerous. Especially alone.

You noticed you were in some upstairs office. You went to walk further when you heard a creak noise under your feet. You didn't sweat it so you continued to walk until the floor board broke apart leaving you falling through the floor.

"Ow." You manage to get up. The fall wasn't that far. The only thing is that your fall was a little loud that you could visibly see zombies making their way towards the windows of the shop. The doors were locked but the they were only made up of glass so you didn't have much time.

You scattered anything you could find. Which was only a few aspirin bottles or allergies meds, which wouldn't be to successful on your part. You made a slight giggle seeing some maxi pads. Those could come in handy, you thought.

You also stopped when you noticed some condoms. You weren't thinking for yourself because there wasn't any boys in camp that you liked and none that was really your age. J-hope and a few other boys were but they were all annoying.

You thought about the young couple that were always together and always affectionate that was at your camp. You figured that they would probably be doing it by now. The last thing your camp needed was a new born baby. You didn't have the right supplies for raising one. So you took a box.

You looked over and saw the zombies making some progress with a few cracks to the window. You quickly ran to the exit door, running as quickly as you could. You decided to not take any more fire escapes.

You only checked a few more stores here and there and found nothing. All cleaned out. Figures.

You decided to finally break into the mall to meet J-Hope. Which you thought was dumb because there was no way he would finish his job already. You walked around the mall when you came across the security office. It was locked of course.

Lucky for you that you knew how to pick a lock. You took your smaller knife and a bobby pin and went to work. Only a few seconds later you were inside. You saw a dead police officer still in his chair in front of security monitors.

You glanced over and saw a first aid kit attached to the wall. It was still there. The space was kind of tight so you had to climb over the dead body just to go through. You put one leg onto the counter getting ready to move. You climb up onto the counter making your way towards the other side when something caught your leg. The sudden change had you falling to the floor on the other side and you noticed that the dead body was alive and getting ready to bite your ankle.

You kept kicking for it to stay back but you couldn't get out of his grasp.

You cried in pain trying to get out. You noticed your knife wasn't near you either so you figured you were doomed. You finally gave up and laid back when suddenly the grip around your ankle was freed. You looked up to see J-Hope with your knife into the head of the zombie police officer.

"You okay?" Thank God. You have never been happier to see the happy virus.

You nodded and got up retrieving to the first aid kit. "Get my bag." You asked J-Hope who was on the other side of the dead body.

You grabbed the first aid kit and looked inside. It was filled with a whole bunch of important things.

"What else did you gather?" J-Hope unzipped your bag. Of course the first thing he saw was the box of condoms.

He held up the box and gave you a confused glare. "I'm flattered." He laughed.

"Not for you." You handed over the first aid kit. "They're for Kris and Shirley."

"Right?" He reached for your hand and helped you out of the small room. You both walked to the center fountain so you could sit. He keeled down in front of you and gently grabbed your ankle.

You looked at him confused as he pulled up your pant leg. You were taken back from the sweet and caring gesture.

"Hand me the first aid kit you found."

You were about to ask why until you saw your ankle cut up. "Oh my god! I'm gonna turn."

You were shocked from J-Hope laughing. "No you're not....the cuts didn't even break the skin." You handed over the kit and watched as he put ointment and bandage over your ankle.

"Thank you." You sweetly smiled.

"Where are they?" You heard shouts coming from the other side of the mall.

"Fuck...we need to get out of here." J-hope grabbed your hand and you were both sprinting in the opposite direction. You were startled when you heard glass breaking from somewhere inside a store that was in the direction you were going.

"Now where?" You panicked.

"In here." J-hope led you into the security office that you were previously in. He shut the door and locked and you both climbed over the dead zombie and pushed him more towards the door. You felt like you were still too noticeable so you jammed both yourselves into the corner that was hidden behind a shelf.

The only problem was that the space was so so tight that you could feel his breath against your neck. You heard glass breaking from right next to you that J-Hope had to cover your mouth so you wouldn't make a noise.

It was the door to the security office. They broke the window to the door. "See anything?" You heard a man.

"Nope just the dead."

You knew the coast was clear but you could still hear the men looking just outside the room.

"How long are we going to be trapped in here?" You whispered as you looked up annoyed.

"Ah." You slightly jumped back so you were right against J-Hope causing him to groan.

"What?" He whispered.

"Spider." You pointed.

"Really? You're not afraid of zombies but you're afraid of spiders."

"Shut up...you screamed when you saw the snake in the shower room."

He arched his eyebrows at you knowing that you were right. You took off your shoe and jumped to kill the spider. You manage to reach but fell backwards once again rubbing against J-Hope.

"Sorry." You giggled.

You reached down to put your shoe back on but you couldn't help but hear J-Hope quietly moan. You leaned back up moving to try to get comfortable.

"Can you stop doing that?" He breathed out.

"What." You moved again to look at him.

"That." He leaned his head back. You looked down to see what he was talking about and you blushed realizing it. You kept rubbing your ass against his crotch.

You couldn't help but bite your lip from laughing watching how aroused he looked. He couldn't even look at you. "Sorry....there's not much room."

"Uh huh." He nodded sarcastically.

You leaned your head out so you could hear anymore men.

"We're gonna take shelter here....we know they're in here." You heard someone yell, somewhat far away.

"They're taking shelter here." You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we suppose to do?" He asked.

"We'll have to wait until they're sleeping." You suggested.

"Okay but in the mean time?" J-Hope referred to the sun that was still up.

"It's getting darker out there so it must be around 5 by now....so just a few more hours."

J-hope let out a exhausting sigh.

"It's not that bad." You moved again to look outside.

"Please sto-"

"What's wrong?" You moved back in again and noticed the more tightness. You felt something poke you from behind. Then it hit you. You were giving him a boner.

"Really? Right now? Of all situations." You whispered.

"I told you to stop." He whined.

You couldn't help it that you were stuck in a tight space you just couldn't get comfortable.

"Why are you still doing it? You're trying to torture me?"

You couldn't help but giggle. "Stop laughing."

"I'm flattered." You used his own words against him from earlier.

"Shut up."

You were actually quite amused. You purposely moved your ass back and fourth causing him to moan. You felt him getting harder behind you.

You don't know why but you felt aroused yourself. Maybe because you haven't had sex since when the outbreak started, which wasn't a lot since you were only 18 at the time.

You turned around so you were face to face with him. You reached down unbuckling his jeans.

"Really? Can't this wait when there isn't bad guys out there trying to kill us." He whispered causing you to laugh quietly.

"It's more fun this way." You smirked.

You continued, reaching down into his jeans rubbing against his length. You always thought sexual faces were ugly but he looked very sexy, you were surprised yourself.

You pulled him out so you could have more access. You started moving your hand back and fourth causing more friction.

You didn't know what has gotten into you. You had to address to the fact that you were still human and that you should forget about the outside world every now and then. Like J-Hope said before, laugh a little. Don't be so serious.

You leaned into him closer and closed the gap with a kiss. You never thought in your wild dreams you would be doing this to him but something changed since this trip.

He responded to the kiss immediately giving you butterflies. The kiss turned deeper as you grazed your bottom lip with his tongue. You opened your mouth accepting the offer and he explored your mouth. His kiss was a surprise to you that you almost forgot that his member was in your hand. You went back to pumping up and down his length causing him to pull away from the kiss out of breath.

"Is it too late to say that I always had a crush-"

You shh him. "You can tell me later." You reached down for your backpack and grabbed one of the condoms from the box.

"I knew they were for me." He smirked.

"Shut up." You giggled. You ripped the package opened and let him pull it on himself. He turned you around so you were pushed up against the wall. He wrapped his arms around you to unbuckle your jeans and slowly pulled them down so they were hanging around your thighs. You felt his member brush through your folds before pushing in.

He quickly covered your mouth as you were about to moan out from this sudden thrust.

"You okay?" You nodded. "Your going to have to be quiet." You nodded again.

He went back to thrusting inside of you at a slow pace. It was already stirring some kind of feeling inside as he rocked against you. You leaned your head back against his shoulder as he picked up the pace.

"Go faster." You begged.

"I wish I could but I don't want them to hear us." He kissed your neck. "Next time." He whispered.

His hands wandered up towards your chest. It felt amazing once he gently started to caress you. You leaned back pulling away so you could turn around. He bit his lip as he watched you lean back against the wall and pulled one leg out of your jeans. He leaned forward lifting your leg around his waist. You felt him once again push inside. The new angle was driving you crazy.

He brought his lips into yours to block the noise coming from both of you. He made his pace quicker as you wanted that you didn't know how much longer you were going to last.

He moved his mouth towards your neck, sucking every inch of you. You leaned your head back against the wall weakly. You felt the pleasure rise up inside.

You couldn't help but moan as you bit his shoulder in front of you. The sensation had him weak himself as he pulled away finally releasing into the condoms. You reached your high not much after he did. You were letting out a moan but he lean into you quickly kissing you before you could be any louder.

"You think they heard us?" You whispered.

"We would of been dead by now." He looked out where the door was.

"I thought I heard something over hear." You both heard a man walking closer. You noticed him walk past the officer into another part of a store.

J-Hope took you by surprised as he pulled out of you suddenly. He had to cover your mouth once again as the man was right outside of the door.

You saw him throw the condom away from you and zipped his pants back up. You followed his lead and buckled back up as well.

...

You told J-Hope that you would take the lead as guard if he wanted to rest. It was hard since there wasn't that much room to lay down.

You haven't heard anything in the past hour so you walked out of your corner and tilted your head outside of the broken window through the security room. You saw some kind of bonfire in the middle of the mall and many guys sleeping around it. You did see only one man sitting up in a chair who was probably night watch.

You tapped J-Hope and told him that now was a good time to escape. He nodded and quietly opened the door. He tugged your hand around the corner so you weren't seen. You saw the opened window from above and watched as J-Hope climb up the walls up to the window like it was nothing. You threw him your bag and then jumped so he could grab onto your hand pulling you up.

You ran down the fire escape and made your way past the alleys so you wouldn't be spotted by zombies.

When you finally made your way towards the car, you felt all the pressure off your shoulders. "How much supplies did you get?"

J-Hope lift up his bag, you can tell it was full. "No wonder they wanted to kill us."

"Please don't kill us." You got into the passenger's side.

"No worries." He smiled.

"Can we make a pit stop for round 2?"

You couldn't help but laugh. The camp barely gave you any privacy.

"I suppose." You grabbed his hand.

This story has a Yoongi spin-off called: Until Dawn

[88inpursuit]

It’s a, been a rough year.

Today is the last full day of a two year adventure. 

We woke up to the first rainy day in.... let me go look it up....

This is potentially the only rainy day this whole month. 

In January of this year we were in Madrid, Spain living a wonderfully metropolitan life, and on March 1st we drove back to Bordeaux, France with Mackerel in tow. Within one or two weeks of our arrival the country was in full lockdown mode from a virus called COVID-19. It has many names but the most commonly used is COVID-19 or Corona Virus.  Many globally highly aware of it’s havoc it was causing mostly in Asian countries late 2019 and early 2020. I felt even more familiar with what was going on as many of my students are from Asian countries, South Korea, Japan, China, and Taiwan. Many naive people around the world were thinking that, ‘oh no, it won’t get to us, and if it does it won’t be that bad.’ It is now July 22 and the United States is struggling. New York was hit pretty hard in April. Many lives were lost and so many infected. Hospitals were over capacity and the city was in full lockdown mode. 

Back to Europe. We had escaped the massive lockdown in Madrid that happened only just a few days after our departure. I am so very thankful we got out of there before that. They weren’t allowing people to travel whatsoever. They were reportedly stopping people at the border to turn back. Our living situation was so much better in Bordeaux than it would have been in Madrid. Initially we were staying at an Airbnb for a month that had an outdoor space, despite the house itself being haphazardly put together with a multitude of problems functioning. The bed was super cozy if initially difficult to get used to. Great deck and swimming pool, even if it was too cold to get in. April came and we were able to get into our new, old apartment. The one we were initially staying in when we first moved to France. 

Domaine Maucamp: Avenue de Thouars. An old building from : 

DOMAINE MAUCAMP

202, avenue de Thouars Residence built at the end of the 18th century Maucamp means "bad field"

In 1846, the estate was 24 ha including 7.5 ha of amenities (English garden, fishpond, stream, entrance courtyard, etc.) and 7 ha of vines. In 1920, the estate was mainly made up of pastures. In 1969, only 1.5 ha remained.

En 1846, le domaine était de 24 ha dont 7,5 ha d’agréments (jardin anglais, vivier, ruisseau, cour d’entrée, …) et  7 ha de vignes.

En 1920, le domaine était essentiellement composé de pâturages. En 1969, il ne restait plus que 1,5 ha.

Actuellement, nous y trouvons la Résidence La Pléiade-Maucamp situé dans le parc.

The apartment has high ceilings and curved corners where the ceiling and wall meet. The apartment has been decorated eclectically by our hosts. Modern with some vintage furnishings with no particular region. Our hosts are both professionals in the film and tv industry here in France. They both share a down to earth-ness that reminds me of people who have lived an interesting life. From their experiences to the travel they’ve done. They both have had previous partnerships and share one child with their previous partners. Fany has a son who is close to our age, 25, and Stephane has a daughter who is twelve. They all have such unique personalities but are similar in that they are all quirky and kind, the best combination. Throughout our who time in both France and Spain they have been the most accommodating, kind, sincere people we’ve had the pleasure to meet. They will be friends for life. We plan on coming back next year, well I do intend to the very least. I will miss them very much and am already tearing just thinking about not seeing them in passing or just hearing their voice in the hallway that we share. I will have to do some illustrations of the apartment set up before my memory slips away. 

We have been so very fortunate throughout this whole journey here, and I can’t believe that I am saying this, but I don’t want to go. The reason being is that I was the one probably pushing harder to go home. I think my anxiety from how the world is at the moment influenced my pressure of wanting comforts of home. 

It is now April... in the timeline and well we found out that we were/are, I am pregnant. I still have to let that sink in when I write that out. I knew it a week after I missed my period. It was that gut intuition you get as a woman. The intuition that continues to be socialized out of us, well tries to at least. My husband didn’t believe me, granted a couple times there were false alarms. What I didn’t/haven’t told him is that I didn’t actually think I was pregnant the previous times, but was wishful thinking. This time I knew it in my bones as they say. So deeply that I was as equally excited the way you get when something significantly new happens for me. The type of blindly excited but unaware of the weighty details of the life change. The kind you have as a teenager well into your mid twenties. I would like to think of it as a fearlessness. As the days slowly progressed to the date we agreed on taking a pregnancy test if the red gates unleashed came closer, the fear set in. Fuck. We were living in a country not as familiar to us as our home, I didn’t have a steady job, he was still in school and all job prospects had been dropped when COVID hit. I wasn’t on my thyroid medication for my Hashimoto’s. I have diagnosed clinical depression since childhood. How am I going to manage. How are we going to manage. This list went on and on and on. I didn’t sleep. I would wake up in a panic early, with my mind racing. The day came, it was raining, and he to the pharmacy to get the pregnancy test and micellar water.... why I don’t know. We weren’t out. Not only did he get micellar water he got three bottles, or so he thought, and only one pregnancy test. One bottle of micellar water, two bottles of baby safe cleansing water, and one pregnancy test. I peed in a cup put the stick in on the sick counter, and immediately a thick pink line instantly appeared. I cried immediately and had him look at it to make sure that it was accurate. He said yep, and the tests were 99.9% positive and we were definitely pregnant. I sobbed and that was that. 

Since, it’s been a rollercoaster. The first trimester was full of nausea, bloating, constipation, headaches, irritability, and unearthly cravings for things. Particularly gummy candies, and egg sandwiches. Trouble breathing, sleeping, and no motivation to move. Mood swings galore. 

Our first prenatal doctor’s appointment was well to say the least fascinating. Not only are we in a different country with different sets of procedures but also during a time of COVID. Rory was not able to be with me the whole appointment but for the sonogram and for questions after. Despite being listed as speaking English our doctor knew as much as I do in French. Not great but passable. My expectations were to have my blood pressure taken, my height, my weight, heart rate, the usual. Nope none of that. She asked me my medical history, family medical related issues, and concerns. We calculated the due date, and had a miscommunication that this was my first visit and first child. We did however get to see the baby on through a sonogram, and saw the blob that would later grow arms legs and a penis. Yes, a penis. It’s a boy. The following appointments were similar, sonogram’s galore but no blood pressure, heart rate, or weight taking. Our last appointment was fascinating though. We got to see him clearly defined as a boy and long gangly limbs. He was not as wiggly as the previous appointment, but there was some movement. These sonogram’s have been reassuring despite not having the regular procedures you would expect at prenatal appointments in the US. For one she would tell us what his measurements were, if he was growing well, and that he was okay. The important base things. Additionally it is the only time that I feel genuinely connected to him. Everyday otherwise I feel like many other women who probably don’t talk about it, I don’t feel connected. For me he is just something, well yes a baby, growing inside of me. I feel the same way about my organs, they are in there doing their thing and I am thankful, but I’m not connected to them emotionally. They just exist. I don’t think I am a horrible person for feeling this way, I am neither ungrateful for being able to get pregnant and so quickly, it’s just that this is how I’m wired. I’ve gone over it a million times, still do as to why I feel this way, but I don’t think that I’ll ever have a real reason unless I choose one and stick to it. Some of my reasonings have included: ‘To not be emotionally connected is my way of not getting hurt or broken if something were to happen,’ this is the one I tell people who I know are disturbed by my feelings of disconnected-ness. Another is that I don’t have the mother gene, despite what others are constantly telling me. The fun more irritational one is that I am not actually having a baby and that I dreamt this all. I could go on but I will bore myself. 

Motherhood is a sore subject for me. I had a very rocky childhood largely formed by circumstances that both my mother and I could not have controlled or changed. It is hard to fault her, but it is hard to know that I won’t succumb to issues my mother once and sometimes continues to be influenced by. I just hope that the cycle of disappointment and hurt felt by me, my mother, her mother and potentially her mother and so forth ends with me. I know that I will have moments where a flip will be switched and I will have to remove myself to not cause this cyclical damage. In fact I’ve had and continue to have conversations with him to help me help myself from this happening. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I am afraid my weaknesses are more powerful than my strengths. 

Being pregnant has largely influenced my pressuring to go home. I somewhat am regretting it. A part of me thinks I should have sucked it up and try to make it work here with him. Fought harder to make it work so that our dream of living overseas long term could take several steps forward as opposed to quite of few steps back? I keep running into this strange feeling mindset of, ‘should we do this or do that? should I pursue this or that?’ When did I get so wishy washy? I used to be so strong in my convictions. Anywho we are flying back tomorrow. An 18 hour + journey back to the crisis hole this is America at the moment. 

[shin-sunhee]

I never really thought the day would come when I could tell you about this without having a panic attack and crying inconsolably. Today, March 4, 2020, I have managed to find the strength to finally let everything go.

On June 5, 2019 I was surprised that my period was delayed, I was used to thinking that ignoring it and waiting would be the easiest. A few hours later I realize that I have a delay of about a month, more than I always used to have. My heart starts to pound, so I decide to call my manager and friend, Sophie. Sophie does the job of going to a pharmacy and asking for the famous pregnancy test, she accompanies me throughout the process until 20 minutes later (it was 10, but I had to be sure) we managed to read what changed everything completely. I had a little human being inside me. I'm not sure I decided to attend a medical appointment with my faithful partner, Lisa. And as expected, after an analysis, she tested positive, there was no doubt, she was pregnant.

I could barely understand that the situation exploded in tears, I felt that I was losing everything, my career so much fighting went directly to the trash. Timely I receive a call from Mark, I explain what happened and I ask him to keep the secret until he can speak, he accepts and promises to be there for me as usual. Got7's concerts came to an end and they would be home the next day.

I remember perfectly how I couldn't sleep all night, I remember how dry it was when you arrived and hugged me, I remember that I had prepared the news with small colored papers to kill my insomnia, I remember your face when I read it, how it fell into your hands small device Your eyes crystallized and for the first time I was afraid of losing you, I felt that ours was over, that this test and that paper had signed our act of separation. But everything was different, you released everything and you approached me, you locked me in your arms while we both cried, for a moment, I felt that the world stopped.

He contacted me and supported me, we decided that we would live with that, that we would be happy being parents and being together, after all, it was our dream. Companies knew it, it wasn't a pleasure for anyone, but still, we kept working, we promised to make it harder for our little "mistake."

On July 7 I woke up with a very strong pain, you were at the table composing, you came to me at the speed of light, lately you always did, you lived for me. When I get out of bed, I only saw red. The sound of the radio that sounded when we headed to the hospital was recorded in my mind, like that day at its best. No one knew what had happened, but out of nowhere, everything was silent. Silence in the room where our friends were, silence in my room, silence in the hall where doctors should speak and the greatest silence that tormented me was the one I heard when we wanted to know if our baby was well. Everything happened very fast, but the pain goes very slowly.

Obviously, my separation with Jackson was not due to this, my problems became increasingly strong, Internet users criticized my weight and my face without knowing that it was because of the pregnancy I had lost, they complained about my poor concentration and lack of smiles when he found no reason to stand at that moment. Everything became so dark that I decided to walk away for a while so that no one would be trapped in my darkness. Maybe it was selfish but I didn't find another way. Panic attacks and social anxiety increased, I was diagnosed with depression and I started taking medications that triggered an increase in my weight (with this criticism) and also the diagnosis of the principles of bulimia. NO ONE deserved to be by my side at that time, I could not force anyone to go through what I did.

Now I feel better, trying to recover every day and waiting for the pain to go away or I learn to live with it. Thank you for not knowing what they were doing and greetings to my little baby. I love them

[ringandtherobe-blog]

Peru: The Long Road to Fulfilling the Calling

Last year I was supposed to go to Peru at the end of October, but due to some serious health issues from a previous mission trip, I wasn’t able to go.  The more time that lapsed the more time I felt discouraged that I would ever be able to go back to Peru....the place that I feel at home the most while away from home.

Like every trip to Peru that I have been on, it didn’t exactly go as planned, BUT at each trial that came my way God provided the solution.  Here is the story of my trip.....enjoy!

October 25th, 2019: Travel Day (11am - 2am)

Like many trips to Peru that I have been on the travel was far from “normal”.  I met some amazing people on my journey and some very sketchy people.  On my trip down I was almost kicked off my initial flight to Atlanta to catch my flight to Peru.  But God makes everything work out and I was able to stay on my flight and make my connection in Atlanta.  

After grabbing some lunch I went to my gate for the long wait, and while I was there I saw a very sketchy person.  I won’t get into all of the details about the encounter but I will say that if it wasn’t for the Lord's protection over me I wouldn’t be here typing this right now.  I will heed this warning that my mom gave me before she left for work and before I went to the airport, “If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right”.  

Now the part I will share of this part of my trip is that if it wasn’t for the Lord's protection and me keeping my wits about me, two “lovely” gentlemen would have swept me up and who knows where I would be right now.  My guess the Sex Trafficking industry.....but let me just say, the Lord will never bring you somewhere and abandon you.  It took me almost 3 years to get back to Peru, where I am called to be and my trip wasn’t going to end by being sidetracked by the Devil’s schemes.  The Devil is real and powerful BUT our Lord is so much more powerful.

After getting out of the airport I was taken to a very beautiful apartment to meet Elizabeth who I worked with the whole week and to of course get a few hours of sleep before starting the mission in full force

October 26th, 2019: Day at Oasis with the Children/Evening Prayer

We had an early wake-up call, but honestly, I didn’t mind.  I woke up and I was so ready to start the day and to start this new journey I was on.  Elizabeth and I got ready and left to go to the beautiful community of Oasis in Villa El Salvador (Lima).  Until this trip I had never taken public transportation in a foreign country, or in America really due to where I live, so on this trip, I was exposed to so many amazing things.  In order to get to Villa El Salvador from the apartment, I took public transportation or Uber each day.  Once we got to Villa El Salvador our journey wasn’t over as we still had about a 10 - 20-minute journey which includes walking and riding in a Moto Taxi (basically a motorcycle and basically super awesome).

Once we finally arrived at Oasis was amazed by the community.  The number of children that had come to learn about Christ, the adults who had also come to learn about Christ, or at the very least see their children learn about Christ.  We played games with the children, they sang songs, they even had skits, and at the end goodie bags filled with food and candy were given to each child who was present........now let me just say that in the nearly 10 years of doing mission work, not much can really shock me into being speechless, but I was speechless.  Not because of the conditions I was seeing and not because of the people I was meeting, but because I had waited, I had prayed, I had cried hours upon hours for this day that sometimes felt like would never happen.  Yeah, I was tired, but I was in Peru.  Yeah, I had no clue what was happening for most of the time I was there, but I was in Peru.  I.  Was. In. Peru. 

That morning was the first time that it had really sunk in that I had...God had made it possible for me to go back to Peru.

Later that night Elizabeth took me to a small gathering where we worshipped.  I will be honest, one of the reasons I love going out of the country.....one of the reasons that I love going to Peru is because I love how passionately the people worship God.  Literally, He is their everything.  They rely on Him completely to provide for them and to see their hearts laid out before the Lord.  That night reminded me of the worship that I love, the worship that is necessary.

October 27th, 2019: Church

The next day we went to church and let me tell you I couldn’t have been more excited to get to church (I mean I’m always excited but even more so this day). In all of my trips to Peru, I was only able to worship once (1) in the country and that was on my very first trip.  It was such an amazing experience I have longed to worship with the Peruvian people again. Pastor Marco wasn’t preaching this day and had a guest Pastor preach. Let me just say, when you are expecting the Lord to show up He does more than you can ever imagine.  If you would like to hear the full sermon let me know and I can send it to you (hopefully).  However!  Specifically, the Lord touched my heart, and even more the misalignment that I have felt since my leg surgery was corrected.  One of my legs has been just ever so slightly longer and I have told people about it and the preacher called it out and through the Lord corrected the issue. 

After the service, we had lunch at the church and then we went back to Elizabeth’s house for a bit.  We then went to a church called Shalom in Villa El Salvador and I had an amazing time. Check out the video here (sorry it wouldn’t let me embed it): 

https://video.fric1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.24130-2/10000000_1458982584255467_5046707043717602989_n.mp4?_nc_cat=110&efg=eyJ2ZW5jb2RlX3RhZyI6Im9lcF9oZCJ9&_nc_eui2=AeGrZFPRM2B3Bmk880cKoBAnstxlC2SF6WwtPtqRantdP5Pr_B1IKLo90O5nM156wdSKO9OISeQQeKfNztCT3yLgzPmV_JP-2rDdfJEG2Net6Q&_nc_ohc=ByxpNpzRHSYAQnSnZc1ttxiVcIeB0JDtJuPqo734aoTBwz4ZPoVKXRrCg&_nc_ht=video.fric1-1.fna&oh=ff290ec3e0a65a08523dcb1a4da63327&oe=5E998A1C

After the service, we went out to eat to celebrate a birthday and it was amazing!  Have I ever told you guys how much I LOVE birthdays!?

October 28th, 2019: Visiting with the Women of Oasis/Evening Prayer

I got back home super late, BUT the next day was something I had been waiting for.....soemthing I wasn’t prepared for.....but had been waiting for for a long time.  I met with a handful of ladies one on one with Elizabeth in their homes.  I was able to pray with them, to share scripture, to share the burden that they lived with. 

I listened to each of their life stories, their struggles, their desires, their pain, and their needs. Elizabeth and I spoke words of Life from scripture to each lady and discerned what our Lord wanted them to know.  At each house...the Lord moved.  At each house...my heart was wrecked more and more.  At each house...I saw the pain of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  At each house, I was able to share hope, peace, love, and strength.  At each house, I was able to share in the pain that they are experiencing, the fear that they lived in.  You were a part of making all of that possible because you supported my trip. Some of the families have both parents in the house, but most of the families only have a mother.  This is because their husbands have either:

1) Left them to be with another woman

2) Been arrested and put in prison

3) Died due to various circumstances, however, most of the husbands have not died

I will forever be changed by these ladies and families.

October 29th, 2019: Ica Bound and learning about my Ministry Partners

Part of any trip is learning about the culture in which you are in. Learning about what the “locals” love and what makes the place you are in special.  Elizabeth chose to show me the beautiful Oasis called Ica.  

Ica is about 5 hours south of Lima by public transportation.  Any words that I have to describe it doesn’t do justice, BUT I never imagined sledding down huge hills of sand and riding in a dune buggy, but I did it.  Not only did I do it, but I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets I think I have ever seen.

However, this was the day that I started to get sick with a 103-degree fever.  By the time we got back to Lima around midnight, I was completely exhausted and completely sick.  I didn’t really acknowledge it until the next morning, but I wasn’t in the greatest of shape physically.  

October 30th, 2019: Visiting with the Women of Oasis and shopping

I woke up on the 30th extremely sick, with a 103-degree fever and feeling like someone had run me over with an 18 wheeler. My first thought and prayer was God give me the strength to continue the work you sent me here to do.  I need you to give me the strength to get through today. 

This morning we went back to Oasis and met with the remaining women.  We also spent the morning going from Pharmacy to pharmacy trying to purchase medicine for an expectant mother and for a very sick child. I enjoyed every moment being able to pray for healing and restoration as well as being able to be the hands and feet of Christ.

After we met with everyone Elizabeth and I went to the market to purchase necessary supplies for each of the lady’s crafts that would be on Thursday.  We grabbed lunch and off to shopping we went.  We purchased yards and yards of fabric, sewing supplies, scissors, and so many other things.  One thing you should know about me is that I love the markets in Peru.  Just a great experience.

By the end of the day, my fever kept coming back so I took lots of medicine throughout the day.  I was in charge of teaching a craft on Thursday so I stayed up and learned the craft and then went to bed “early” to hopefully sleep off whatever it was that I had.

October 31st, 2019: Craft Day

I woke up and still had a fever BUT I was determined that God’s work in me wasn’t finished and would not be hindered by the sickness I had.  Elizabeth and I went back to the market to pick up some things and then we met Adrianna and Minerva for lunch. 

After lunch, we went to Oasis and I was able to teach the women how to make headbands to sell and make money for their families.  This was such an amazing day filled with God’s love, mercy, and passion.  The ladies were awesome to work with and I couldn’t have imagined being anywhere else.

After we taught the women crafts we went back to Pastor Marco's church to prepare for an activity with the children. Because I was sick me and Pastor Marco left to go to the doctor.  The conversations I had with him were amazing and completely restored my heart.  When you meet or talk with Pastor Marco you can truly feel God’s presence.  We talked about everything and It felt like I hadn’t been gone as long as I had.  After the doctor, Marco took me to the airport which for me was so bittersweet.  

I think about Pastor Marco and his family often and I know that God is using them to further His kingdom.  Pastor Marco spoke words into my life about my calling and my heart could not be any more at peace to be where I am at right now and to be starting the new path God has set before me. 

November 1st: Travel Day

Once on my flight, I sat next to a guy close in my age that was a Mormon.  He had been serving in Peru but due to some unforeseen things were heading back to the USA.  We had many hours and hours of conversation about God until eventually, I fell asleep because my fever was coming back.  Once we landed back in Atlanta we said our goodbyes.

I grabbed some lunch and went and waited for my flight where I met some amazing people.  I met a pastor of a church in West Virginia, a couple traveling for vacation, and random people just traveling.  We talked about God right there in the middle of the Airport at the gate.  It was beautiful and very much God lead.  

Once I boarded and Landed I met a guy on my plane who was heading back home to Lynchburg.  He asked if I was a missionary and I said I was and we talked while we waited for my bags.  To this day I’m not sure how he knew I was a missionary but he came from a family of missionaries and we shared stories, the airport is always slow for baggage claim, but God will always use those moments we allow Him to move in for His glory.  

Now What?

I had this amazing experience what does this mean moving forward?  This means we are going for it!  My ultimate dream is to do mission work in Peru full-time and I know that right now I’m not able to do that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t start heading towards that goal. 

Right now I am looking for opportunities (anywhere) to talk about my mission work and to try and gain support for future trips. Support not only financially but in people going on trips, prayer, and helping to connect the dots that I may be missing.  If you feel like you or a group of people you work with would be interested in learning more about my work please let me know! I am willing to travel far and near to talk about what God is doing in Peru and my heart and mission for what He is doing there!

[youmightaswell]

Jerks and Caicos: Putting the ‘Eye’ in Island

If you may recall, I recently reunited with a quirky ex-boyfriend who I dated back in ‘95 when I was 25 and he was 40. We dated on and off for nearly 10 years and then later, when I got married, he abruptly stopped speaking with me even though we had been strictly platonic friends for years.

Recently, after not speaking for 15 years we reconnected because his mom died and he reached out to alert me. He was apparently feeling nostalgic. 

We decided we’d go on vacation together as friends to Club Med in Turks and Caicos because we had gone back in ‘98 when we were hot and heavy and had such a great time. Let’s just say the trip was eventful and full of hiccups, or eye rolls, if you will.

Aside from the Seinfeldian hilarity that ensued when I battled against my version of the “white whale” that I recently recounted in this essay “The Old Man and the Sea Cabana...” something far earthshattering -- or shall I say eyeshattering?-- happened.

***

On my only recent visit to this ex’s house I was panicked because of the immense clutter and collection of meaningless things he has begun keeping --  like his huge jar of dirty rubber bands (because his dad owned them), huge other jar of keys that open nothing, and shelves of bandages. Foam and wood chips were in every crevice, because he fashions himself an artist and might want to make a collage. Not an inch of wall space exists and lest you think it is covered with pricey or aesthetically pleasing art, instead random tickets are affixed with scotch tape and other meaningless papers best left in a trash pile are prominently displayed. Stacks upon stacks of things are everywhere. There is a child’s small desk blocking a window, his couch is on risers to fit more stuff beneath, as is his bed, and he has stuff in his linen closet – empty bottles – I left back in 2003 when I was there last.

But, hey, he seems to have some fear of loss and unresolved grief, so live and let live. 

Quirky, for sure, but he has great qualities as well: he is very creative, successful and has an extremely dry wit. 

Right before I left his apartment, though, I noticed he had a display of near-empty cologne and perfume bottles at his entrance and I asked about them. None were visually pretty or anything one should want to display. I wondered about their significance. As I was questioning him he grabbed a spray bottle and said it was face mist and went to spray me in the face. I balked, realizing it wasn’t the face spray he thought it was, but rather a hair product. Thankfully I avoided the mist, he looked closer and realized his mistake, apologized and I left to catch a cab without further incident.

But remember this because it’s what we in the writing biz call “foreshadowing.”

***

On the morning of our trip I met my ex at the airport with near-perfect timing. We walked through security together even though he whined about having TSA Global Entry and being annoyed at using the “regular” line. We whizzed through and sat at the gate. I noticed he had a lot of bags. Like bags in bags. Seriously I counted seven bags inside his bag. Now I knew his check-in suitcase had a miniature guitar (more on that in a later essay), fins (again, more on that in a later essay) even though the hotel provides full snorkel equipment and other unnecessary items. Because I know my ex also has seven rugs piled on top of each other in his home and keeps ordering more on Amazon, I assumed this was just another hoarding tendency. 

I asked him what he had in one of his multiple fanny packs and he quickly pulled out a bottle and said, “Face spray” and before I could stop him – I screamed a slow mo “Stoppppppp!!!!!” – I felt burning pain in both of my eyes. I grabbed the offensive bottle and even with tears pouring out of my eyes I noticed it did NOT say, “Soothing face mist” like he thought and instead emblazoned on the label was, “Drybar Mai Tai Spritzer Sea Salt Spray”. Yup, the idiot had just sprayed me straight in the eyes with ‘beach hair, don’t care’ salt spray. It was then my sight went on vacation without me. Because we were about ready to board I could only pull out the contacts quickly and give them a good rinse before getting on the plane. I did not have my glasses so I was forced to sit for the three and a half hour flight with sticky contacts and only a less-than-three oz bottle of saline.

After we landed, got our luggage and boarded the shuttle to our hotel, we had to further wait for our luggage to be deposited outside our room, which wasn’t ready. We were encouraged to grab a bite to eat before the dining area closed for the afternoon.

Finally, after hours of irritated eyes, I was able to take out my contacts and put on my glasses.

Not the greatest start to a tropical trip. I hated going to dinner in my thick glasses and knew that trying to sit in the sun sans sunglasses and going into the water without contacts was a no-go.

The next morning I awoke around 5am with my eyes sealed shut, crusty, and in pain. Without waking my oblivious ex, I threw on some clothes, crusty eyes, messy hair and still sleepy, and went to the reception desk in the hopes there was a resort doctor on call. Unlucky for me it was a Saturday and the nurse would not be in until 9am. A quick Google search showed me there was an Urgent Care with an eye clinic open on Saturdays from 9am-1pm so I arranged to get transportation there. The hotel nurse came an hour early and checked me at 8am. She did an extended eye rinse and then the hotel transported me along with one of their sick young staff members to their urgent care facility.

It was a bit scary driving into the innards of Turks and Caicos barely being able to see, with an uncommunicative cab driver and a gorgeous young 22-year old year resort worker who didn’t speak much English.  Would we be trafficked? Surely I’m too old to be trafficked, right? 

We were cruising further and further from the busy tourist areas and all I could wonder was if I was about begin what would be an international version of Dateline, wearing nothing but a bikini, flip flops and a t-shirt that now ironically said “PARADISE” on the front.

It was a fairly long ride and I had no idea how to call a cab to return. More so, I was nervous I’d spend hours of my trip waiting in a crowded emergency room and have the first full day of my trip ruined. 

Much to my chagrin I saw as I neared the facility, it was packed with sick people. I entered, the only tourist among them, and my ears were assaulted with the screams of many sick babies. 

Thankfully the hotel had apparently notified them about me, and I was seen instantly, while the native onlookers stared at me with disdain. I felt awful that I was being greeted like a celeb, waved right through, while others, far sicker than I were kept waiting. But not so bad that I turned down my place at the front of the line. 

The ophthalmologist was amazingly nice and efficient and the place was equipped with all the latest in optical technology. He did a comprehensive eye exam and saw both eyes were infected and the left had a corneal abrasion. He confiscated the hair spritz and told me, “Your partner is an idiot.”

Within 20 minutes I was leaving with antibiotics, steroids and sterile eye drops. Efficient, effective and cheap! The whole thing in an ER setting only came to $150 - even without any insurance.

Even the pharmacy bags were adorbs:

We told the front desk of the medical facility to call us a cab to return to our hotel but island time is indeed a thing. The receptionist relayed that t would “be there in 10 minutes” three times before I flagged down a random cab and asked if he could take me. Sketchy as fuck he cited a price nearly double what we paid so I declined. What to do? How safe would trying to hitchhike in Turks be? 

Finally the medical facility called again and said they had forgotten to send our ride but the owner was coming himself from the airport to drive us. Another 30 minutes went by and we were finally headed back. On the way, the driver took a turn down a scary dirt road and stopped in front of a shack. Always ready to stay sexy and not get murdered I wished the doctor had not confiscated the offending eye spray because at least I could use it as a weapon if need be. Thankfully the cabbie was only picking up his daughter and we were on our way again shortly.

***

I was at the beach by 10:30am, bikini clad and annoyed I was in glasses. I had not told my ex my plans and just thought it better to handle it myself. I didn’t want any drama, am an adult who had traveled alone extensively and didn’t want to get into any argument or discussion with him. I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose but that it was representative of his behavior years ago when we were dating – which ultimately lead to our romantic demise. Even though so much older, I found him then (and now) lacking in any sort of impulse control and he clearly lacked respect for others around him, particularly younger women.

I know “Elliott Spritzer” felt bad and so I chose to not ruin my trip any further so simply went to the beach to resume my vacation. I told him briefly what happened, that I handled it and he would be expected to pay for any medical bills and related transport. Beyond that I accepted his apology and wanted to move on. He offered to pay for my full $3K portion of the trip, but while I would have liked that, I didn’t allow him to because I knew it would allow him to think what he did was ok. He did pay for my massage and the additional lobster fees nightly so we could have reserved seating for the rest of our stay.

I felt good about my reaction to this blip. In the distant past I would have been super dramatic, the whole trip would have been horrible and I would have cried and felt miserable. I was very proud of myself staying calm, being mature and handling a messy situation quickly and efficiently without any undue drama. I realize I can’t control my ex’s idiotic actions, but I could control my responses to them and anyone else’s. 

***

Sun and corneal abrasions don’t mix, just like oil, water and human eyes, so I had to sit most of the trip in the shade and not swim which was a bummer. Still, I ended up having a pretty great trip, thankful for the sun, sea and sand -- and having it for the most part stay out of my inner eye. 

*** 

Years ago I often wondered how my life would have been different if I had ended up marrying my ex. I often mentally lamented the end of our long relationship. However, while this trip almost blinded me, it also provide clarity. It made me see very clearly that even though I was doubtful, I actually made the right life choices. 

***

Ever the jokester -- and by jokester I mean asshole --  my ex send me this upon our return: https://www.amazon.com/DRYBAR-Mai-Spritzer-Salt-Spray/dp/B00LX54J1M

***

Hopefully next vacation I can keep the “sight” in sightseeing. :-/

[peakyxshelby]

Where did you go?

Michael x reader

I am so sorry this is so long and rambly but i looooove it. Michael leaves reader to deal with an abortion by herself and she comes back to small heath with or without a baby ;)

He would be home in a few minutes and you were unbelievably nervous to tell him that you were pregnant. He'd be a great dad, but it wasn't the baby that worried you. It was you. Recently Michael had been doing more and more "business" with his cousins. He would never tell you what was troubling him, you would barely talk at all anymore. You saw each other a couple times a week, each time you'd hope he'd take you out or stay longer than an hour for sex. That never seemed to happen though. He wasn't the Michael you fell in love with a year ago. He was a different person altogether. That's when the door slammed open. "What the hell is so urgent we have to meet now? I have places to be (Y/N). You look fine what do you want?" The tone in his voice made you want to cry, maybe you shouldn't tell him. You swallowed the lump in your throat and stepped back from him. "I'm pregnant" "Well shit." There were a few moments of silence you didn't know what he was thinking but he was definitely thinking. "I can get the money for your abortion to you tonight on my way to the garrison" This was the moment your heart broke, you let the tears brim over. "No." You whispered feeling absolutely crushed. "Yes. You're not keeping it don't be so ridiculous." He started to walk to the door but turned round on his heels. "If you get it done before, I'll be over on Thursday for an hour or so." "Are you fucking joking Michael." "What?" "I'm not your bloody whore." This made Michael laugh under his breath before looking you dead in the eyes. "Well, what are you then?" "Get out of my fucking house. Get out!" And with that he walked out the door slamming it behind him. You slumped to the ground sobbing. There was no light in his eyes anymore he wasn't the man you once knew. You cried for hours until you eventually fell asleep. When you woke up the next morning you went through to the kitchen. On your table was an envelope with the money Michael had promised you. And all of a sudden you were no longer sad just angry, you had so much rage. You packed your suitcase and phoned your mum telling her you were leaving for London and she could do whatever she wanted with the flat. She begged you to stay but nothing was keeping you hear having to see his face every day. You slammed the door behind you and walked to the train station ready to leave small Heath behind you. A couple days later after Michael had come home from his bender. He'd had a good sleep and earful from Polly about being stupid and going out drinking for days he remembered his conversation with (Y/N). He drove from Pols country house to (Y/N)'s flat in small Heath. "(Y/N)! Open up! Listen I'm sorry let me in!" He got quite the shock when (Y/N)'s mum opened up the door. "Michael, didn't she tell you?" "Tell me what?" "She's gone." And with that, his heart sank. "What do you mean? Gone where?" "London I believe, she said she needed to get away for a while, I'm sorry."

1 year 7 months later.

You were walking back from the pharmacy picking up your 11-month-year-old son, Eddie and your boyfriend’s medicines. As you pushed Eddie in the big fancy pram your new boyfriend had bought him you caught sight of familiar looking shadows walking along the street towards you. You weren’t 100% sure if they were who you thought you were. But you soon saw the toothpick hanging out the figure's mouth you knew. It was John and Arthur. You didn’t think they’d remember who you were it had been almost two years since you’d left Small Heath but as you went to walk past Arthur recognized your face.

“(Y/N)!” The two men stopped greeting you and looking happy to see you.

“And what are the blinders doing up in this end then?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” you all laughed at this as no one knew why you’d left exactly. “Business with the Solomons we are just about to meet Tommy.”

“And who’s this then?” John asked peering into the pram, “Didn’t even know you had a bun in the oven let alone a ba..” he trailed off when he caught sight of your beautiful Eddie. The spitting image of Michael.

“Shit.” Arthur followed his gaze wondering what his brother was so baffled over. “Fucking hell, that’s a mini Michael.”

“You can’t tell him,” you looked at the men desperately who looked bloody confused. “He doesn’t know i kept him, he gave me money for an abortion but i couldn’t do it. So i used the money to come here.”

The men could not take their eyes off your son, “well what’s his name then?”

“Eddie. Eddie Gray.” John and Arthur started to swoon over him making all of yous giggle. After a good 10 minutes of chatting you could tell the boys needed to rush off.

“Listen (Y/N), we are going to Ada’s tonight after the meeting. We won’t tell them about the baby, but you will.” You looked at John confused as he kept going “She lives round these parts, come at 7 O’clock I'm sure everyone will be glad to see you’re ok.” John saw you hesitate and it seemed like he read your mind when he said, “It’s OK, Michael won’t be there.”

You rushed home and told your boyfriend you had run into some old friends and you were taking Eddie, he didn’t care. He never did.

You arrived at her house and looked up at it in awe the Shelby’s were really raking in the money these days. As you knocked on the door you were greeted by Ada who gave you the biggest hug ever you were grateful for this because you were so nervous to see them all again. This wasn’t your family but they all so far had treated you like you were part of it. I guess you kind of were now they know. Ada gasped when she saw Eddie, presumably because he could be Michael’s twin. You two went to the sitting room and sat down where Tommy, John, and Arthur were already waiting. You sat Eddie on your knee as he started to snooze off.

“Christ, you weren’t joking when you said he looked like Michael,” Tommy said turning to John who just nodded in agreement. Arthur scooped up little Eddie and started rocking him in his arms giving you the opportunity to talk with the family.

“Please don’t tell Michael.”

“We can’t do that (Y/N)” Tommy said looking at the spitting image of his younger cousin sleep so peacefully.

“He’s family.” John joined in. You knew how much family meant to the Shelby’s and that you were asking for a lot.

“We need to help support you,” Tommy said turning his attention back to you.

“I am supported.”

“How? Do you have a job?”

“No, i have a partner.” The boys had always been very smart. John and Ada specifically when it came to people hiding emotions.

“You don’t seem so sure about that.”

“Well..” you started before going quiet again. After Ada reassuring you that you could say anything that was on your mind and bringing you in some tea you finally let out what was happening in your home.

“He says he loves me. He doesn’t. I am with him for the support Eddie and I need. He’s with me for company. There is no love,” The siblings started to look at each other uncomfortably John was about to say something but you kept going. The last 6 months have been bad and they’re only getting worse. He comes home drunk, very drunk. Hurts me if he doesn’t get his way. Hurts me if he does..” You began to trail off and you could see Arthur’s jaw clench the boys were all staring at you.

“Why the fuck are you still with him (Y/N)?”

“I had nowhere else to go, what else was i meant to do? I was going to move back home next week actually, take the train on Monday. But i can’t know.”

“Why not?” Ada asked still rubbing your back for comfort, you hadn’t realised you were getting so upset until you started to cry.

“You’re going to tell him, I can’t see him again.”

“(Y/N), he loved you,” John said looking you dead in the eyes and taking your hands in his for reassurance.

“The last words we exchanged was him calling me his whore.” The brothers cringed knowing you and Michael had had an argument but didn’t know the ins and outs of it all.

“He went to apologise a couple days later and found your mum in the flat, when she told him you’d left he spent months trying to figure out where you’d gone. He checked back at the flat every week for six months until eventually your parents sold the flat and someone else answered the door.” You were shocked, you didn’t think he cared about you in the slightest after all he did leave you to get a sketchy abortion by yourself. Tommy got up looking at the clock.

“We are going back to Small Heath tonight and you are coming with us.” This was an order that for once you thought was a good idea to follow.

Tommy had set you up in an apartment just down the street from the betting shop so he could keep a close eye on you and the baby. The brothers had agreed to keep it a secret for two weeks, if you hadn’t told him by then they would. You pleaded with Tommy that if she couldn’t bring herself to tell him he wouldn’t let on about where she was. But she never did get an answer to that request. You had reunited with your old friends who had convinced you to come out for a couple drinks tonight at the garrison, you were afraid Michael would be there but had heard the boys talk about some sort of plan taking place tonight you didn’t really listen to details. So you dropped Eddie off at your parents who was all too happy to see them both You got on your favourite dress and favourite lipstick, and damn you looked good. You got to the Garrison and sat around laughing, catching up and dancing with all your old friends. Lots of people were coming up you recognising you and telling you how much of a beautiful young women you had turned into. You didn’t go out much in London so when lots of men starting giving you attention you were extremely flattered and visibly blushed. You had just finished dancing with some of your friends and sat down exhausted at the table downing your drink. You were having the best night ever, you hadn’t had this much fun since you left. All of a sudden the music shut off and the place went silent as Tommy and the peaky blinders burst through the door.

“We won! Nobody fucks with the peaky blinders!” Arthur screamed as the whole place went up on roars, everyone cheering and whooping at the men as they walked to the bar. The music started to play again and the party was back on in full swing. That’s when you saw Michael at the bar with his hand wrapped around a woman's waist. This hurt you and you didn’t know why you hadn’t seen him in almost two years and even the sight of the back of his head sent all the feelings rushing back.

“I don’t think i can do this,” You say trying to stand up but realising you had had one too many as you tumbled onto the floor.

“Woah! You alright there miss!” Someone said helping you back up on the floor when your vision cleared you looked up and saw it was Isaiah. “No fucking way!” He shouted as your friends laughed with him being as shocked as he was. He pulled you up onto your feet and into his arms. “Where the fuck have you been? Why are you back?” You were about to answer his questions when he cut you off, “Oh wait, Michael! Michael look who it is!” Your heart dropped as this was not how you imagined your first meeting with him going down, Your friend now punching Isaiah lightly in the arm to shut him up. But it was too late. Michael looked over at Isaiah waving and looked back to his conversation before double taking at the sight of you. You quickly spun around looking at your table of friends.

“I need to leave, call me tomorrow ok?” And with that, you started heading towards the door. You hoped you had lost Michael’s gaze by hiding in the crowd. As soon as you made it to the door you tried to run but your balance was a bit off and you found yourself on your knees only a couple of feet away from the door.

“(Y/N)?” You knew that voice too well, You didn’t have it in you to turn round not yet. You tried to dry your eyes and clear your throat before saying anything, but it was too late. The familiar strong hands were helping you to your feet.

“Shit, you look. You look stunning.”

“Thank you,” you whispered loosening yourself from his grip. “I need to get home.”

“Wait.” You slowed down but didn’t completely stop. “It’s not safe for a young lady to walk home alone.” You two walked in silence most of the five-minute walk it takes to get back to your flat when you got to the door you turned around to face him. “(Y/N) where did you go? Why did you leave me?” he took your hand and you started to cry again jumping into his arms as he embraced you tightly, he kissed your forehead gently before you pulled back.

“Meet me here tomorrow, half-past 1 don’t be late.”

There was a knock on the door, you knew it would be him. Exactly half past 1 on the dot. You looked at Eddie in his high chair kissing his forehead. “Time to meet Dad then”

You opened the door and straight away Michael started to asking questions. “Why did you leave? Where did you go? Are you ok? Why are you back?” When you lead him into the kitchen and he saw the baby laughing in the high chair he had the answer to every single one of his questions. He stood staring in awe as you walked over and picked up Eddie bouncing him in your arms. He was the spitting image of his father and Michael knew the baby was his.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered not sure if he was going to react the same way he did two years ago. He walked over lifting the boy from your arms and holding him tight to his chest.

“What’s his name?”

“Eddie. Eddie Gray.” You had finally officially told him. Michaels' eyes started to water he couldn’t believe he was holding his own son in his arms. He walked over to you pulling you into the other side of him laying kisses on your forehead.

“Not a day has gone by where I didn’t think of you. And know this. I can’t believe it.” Michael had a huge smile across his face smiling at his baby boy. You started to laugh and cry at the same time so relieved that Michael had accepted his son. “We can do this you know.” This confused you he didn’t have a clue what he meant.

“Do what?”

“Be a family. You, Me and Little Eddie. I have a house, our house.” You shut him up by leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips.

“Yes. I still love you, Michael Gray.”

“And still love you future Mrs (Y/N) Gray.”

“The Gray’s, know that has a ring to it.” You both giggled playing with your baby son together, as a happy family.