#then take a bubble bath and do my skincare all fancy and probably drink a glass of wine but wine is gross so its gonna be a milkshake

[drivemysoul]

best believe i'm still bejewelled <3

[tiny-merkitty]

caretaker/dad jonathan crane hcs 𓅨₊˚⊹

ⓘ i do not consent to k!nk interaction! any nsfw account that likes, reblogs, or in any way interacts with this post or my blog will be blocked and reported.

under the cut !

okay to preface, batman begins is set in the mid-2000s therefore these hcs are set in the mid-2000s

whether or not that's important is irrelevant it's for the vibes. its 2005 ok

needless to say Jonathan Crane is on the less outwardly affectionate side,

sterile is a bad word. vapid is a worse one

he definitely tries to ease up around you, initially giving the usual one-off remarks and eyerolls whenever anything went slightly array——

once he realized that was probably not the nicest thing in the world, he tended to keep his tone less flat. sort of.

definitely a learning experience, after awhile you both have to realize that despite him looking like he's trying to set you on fire with his mind, he is genuinely being nice most of the time. or at least neutral.

he takes a big priority in ensuring you're doing well though, while his attachment doesn't show through words or facial expressions he tries to come up through gifts and small acts.

whether it be making you every meal or washing your clothes or doing your hair, his presence is almost always joined by careful hands and a quiet voice,

he did have to teach himself to keep things you actually liked in his office though—

Jonathan learned quickly that sugar free gum and altoids are not an appropriate snack for a kid cooped up in the psychiatric asylum he's busy working at.

he's not clueless with kids though, in all fairness he read about fifty different blog posts. he also got marketed a multitude of sippy cups and blankets and maybe a piece of furniture but that's unrelated

he can come off as a little crass as previously mentioned, he'll word things carefully and speak gently but if he says bedtime at 8pm he means bedtime at 8pm and no later.

maybe a little later if you ask him to make you hot chocolate but 8:30 at the latest.

maybe 8:45

his parenting methods are on the strange and unusual side, given that he himself is on the strange and unusual side—

having nightmares? don't worry, Dr. Crane will make vague threats at the imaginary monsters and claim he can create things five times worse. sleep tight ??

breakfast!! this pancake is shaped like. a rorschach test

don't ask him about work he will keep that as far away as possible from you,

the extent of the last question he got was 'I work with sick people.' and then he continued drinking whatever mixture of too-much-espresso and soy milk was in his mug.

it's not that he doesn't trust you, per say, but he doesn't want you meddling with things that will more than likely harm you.

definitely huge on alot. alot of self care stuff .

have you seen his face there's no way he's not pouring at least a quarter of his paycheck into skincare

this extends to you of course, extremely overly fancy bathtimes with matcha bubble bath and overpriced baby lotion,

candles that are up high enough to not!!! be a fire hazard. little lavender sprays for your pillow,

he'll even do those vaguely scary looking animal themed sheet face masks with you

he's not a sad beige mom. leave him alone he's just pretentious

his favorite activities with you involve staying indoors,

usually crumpled under a pile of blankets with store bought cookies and whatever movie you picked out to watch,

blu ray. obviously. do you take him for someone who does not own a blu ray player (he didn't until last week)

he likes things that are intellectually stimulating for you as well, whether that be numbered blocks or simple puzzles,

he's always around to tell you that you did a good job, or to help if you're stuck on something,

very involved overall -- he doesn't do great with playing pretend but he'll wear colorful band-aids and sit on the floor if you want to play doctor,

Jonathan's life before was somewhat methodical outside of his other ....... escapades

you're a welcome addition and if anything he enjoys having someone to look after.

[astrognossienne]

journal, waves, black nail polish, icy, hidden beaches, mocktails 🖤🖤🖤

journal: would you dye your hair if you had the opportunity? why or why not?

Sure. I like to have a slightly lighter hair colour in the summer, so I’ve actually been lightening my naturally dark brown hair with chamomile tea. I try not to put harsh dyes and chemicals in my hair, but yeah, I‘d do so, why not; change is good. I’d probably go ash blonde one day, if I felt like it.

waves: is there one music genre you can’t listen to?

death metal; way too out there, even for my taste lol

writing: do you write letters? if not, would you like to be?

yes

icy: homemade or takeout?

homemade

black nail polish: what do you do to pamper yourself?

It varies from season to season. In the summertime, I’ve been taking a lot of icy, scented bubble baths lately; now that’s it’s hot, I add ice to my bath à la Body Heat (and Marilyn Monroe) with a drop or two of Guerlain Shalimar. I foergo my usual Dial body washes and use fancy soaps like either the Roger & Gallet Oeillet Mignardise soapor Mysore soap.Also, I have an old Mariage Frères Thé Rouge candle that I like to light to relax with along with a bottle of merlot.Then I use monoi oil on my body. For the face, I use the Cleansing Milk from Clarins, and then I moisturize with either Clarins or Darphin. At night I moisturize, too, but not every day. A few nights a week, I use the Darphin 8-Flower Nectar that’s really delicious. Once a month, I get a facial, pedicure and manicure. If I feel tired, I take 15 minutes to lie down and put a mask on. I love the one from SK-II because it helps with collagen and stays on my face. The Guerlain one is also very good. After my break, if I’m too tired when I get up and have to do something, I take vitamin C to give me a little pep. Summer is also strawberry season. I love strawberries, to eat and to put on my skin, and a strawberry mask is the simplest of beauty treatments. I take a large, juicy berry, break it in half and rub the juice generously all over my clean face and neck. I leave it for 5 to 20 minutes, depending on how much time I have, and rinse off with cool water. Strawberries contain alpha-hydroxy acids that exfoliate skin gently, and the mask brightens and softens the skin. The best part is that it smells heavenly, and since I usually do my face treatments in the morning, the jolt of floral strawberry perfume feels especially rejuvenating.The simple version described above is great for busy mornings, but whenever I have more time or want a richer effect, I mash strawberries into a thick paste. I layer it over my cleansed face, cover it with muslin or a plain sheet mask and lie down for 15-20 minutes. Then, I rinse the mask off and follow with my usual skincare–Vitamin C serum, moisturizer and sunscreen. This version of the mask is messier, but it makes my skin glow. During the strawberry season I usually do it every day for a week and then repeat twice a month. Also, in general, I tuck a few sandalwood chips in my closetto keep my garments smelling like roses and cream. I have an incense box, which is a little treasure trove of scented gums, sticks and pellets. Different types of incense suit my different moods, but I use pure frankincense in my quests for serenity. Raw frankincense tears–as the droplets of resin are called–smell like ground black pepper and lemon peels, but when you burn them, they turn darker, heavier, spicier. The tears will smolder gently and produce fragrant arabesques of smoke. I also like reading The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon, drinking café blanc and rubbing Santa Maria Novella Pasta di Mandorleon my hands.

hidden beaches: do you prefer to hang out in a big group or one on one?

It depends strongly on who and what is in the group lol; if it’s a group of close, trusted friends, than yes it’s the best! More often than not, though i’d rather hang out one on one.

mocktails: cold weather or hot weather?

hot weather!

THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONS!