#then when i stop doing it its alwasy others who are saying 'you dont talk to us anymore' bitch i WAS

[xiaojaan]

.

[squeiky]

UNDERWILD- possible spoiler territory!(hehe) its just some info of Tori And flowey. Along with some character desgins i doodled.

Feel free to guess how UNDERWILD is gonna play out.

Heres a bit of info (not to spoilery) on how these characters are designed to be.

Ps: UNDERWILD is EXTREMLY and HEAVILY inspired by horror tale and underfell. So you'll be see alot of... Similar attributes, along with my own. Even the designs might look a bit similar, so dont go bashing on me okay? You've been warned.

Flowey-

 kill or be killed motto, but cant decide on which one he wants to go with. He believes he's Leaning more towards "kill" but tbh, look at that freindly smirk, and teary eyes, messed up face and drooly leaves. Does he really look like a sadistic killer too you?. Yeah, flowey thinks he does. He thinks he looks just as crazy as every other monster does. 

his LV doesn’t support his belief that he kills mercilessly. he can barely kill a child, neither less anyone else. (during his resets he did kill only a few monsters. regretted it alot.)

smug

due to papyrus’s encouraging words, he has a bit of confidence.

he almost always uses his creepy face. though, its not as scary as the other faces around the forest.

turqouise pupils.

on the left, is complelty ripped petels. on the right, is slighty wilty petals.

he alwasy has sad eyes with a big (fake) happy grin. (he’s not the happiest.)

his threats never get backed up.

hums his own theme song. and rocks a lullaby. but can’t sing other things. so he’s pretty much a hummerbird lullaby flower baby.

bruises/dirt/scratch marks on his cheeks and forehead

afraid of froggits. (will kill them on sight, if he fears for his life)

hes a impatient little brat.

not afraid to toss insults at you.

has a little goat like snoot. (a slight asriel apperance)

likes napstablook! by alot actually! and nice-cream! and pie! and chara! (platonically)

dislikes frogs, bees, bugs in general, sans, being a flower, and eggs. (no apparent reason, he just doesn’t like eggs. like a cat to cucumbers but flowey to.. egg...)

tried to eat froggit’s leg. honestly, he hangs around papyrus too much. he’s pretty sure he tried eating a mushroom too. and a snail. and a- im gonna stop there, or this list of weird things- FLOWEY DONT EAT DIRT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! NO STOP THAT!! - are never going to end. o and there he goes again

EXTREMEY curious. (almost reckless childlike curiousity)

Toriel- 

i like to call her TORE-IEL hehe.

 Her robe/dress is all torn up.. Her eyes have bags from the crying alone in her room.

a dirty red robe/dress, with a greyish sleeve. and a symbol in the middle.

extremely isolated. (literally locked up in her room like 24/7. alot worse than og toriel. similiar to horrortale’s toriel.)

“who’s sans?”

yellow-ish horns and teeth (has many rows of sharp teeth)

red eyes whites (pitch black pupils)

a tad bit hunched.

goat hooves!! and big old claws.

she isn’t such a good mom figure. she been so alone for so long.. a itte too long... she tries everything to keep frisk down there. 

....”where is everybody?” they are hiding. from toriel. (in case she goes “wild”. and plus she’s powerful)

got that dragon breath yo. (fire breath, instead of flying flames.)

afraid of herself, because of that she is more distant to the children than a og toriel is. (she doesn’t even hold their hands :( )

“burnt pies anyone? or.... chocolate? or... we have some lettuce in the back you can eat. oh, yeah i see. your right, you can’t eat any of this, can you?” toriel is a bit... lacking in practice. 

gives you a soft, weak smile. 

she loves you, has trouble showing it.

sometimes drools when she stares at something too long. ( a cute little drool. not to excessive.)

a tad selfish.

q-questionable m-methods....

BOOKS FOR DAYS YAY!!! and facts about snails... she reads too fast.

on rare occasions, when she hiccups she might do a goat noise.

the worst jokes get her going, that is sad. like im talking worse than og sans’s. to the point of “why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the otherside!” makes her go absolutely high on laughter. instead of a petite giggle or a snort, she acts like she hadn’t heard that in a millennia.

“hi. umm.. greetings?.. hello?...goodday?” she hasn’t had a conversation in... awhile

“ugh, tori what are you saying?! your suppose to say-” she talks to herself in public. alot. calls herself nicknames too. (she likes her made up nicknames, like tortor or tori. or tutu. she even called her self butterscotch, or sweetpea. its a little weird with the nicknames.)

[Link to papyrus and sans info]

[ravenaveira]

Ok, time for my review of Kh3 Re:Mind Dlc

This is gonna be long, so be prepared, and yes there will be many spoilers so if you dont want spoilers of the game then you probably shouldnt read this, but if you dont care then stick around.

I will start off with my unbiased and critical opinion.

From the title menu alone you already know what this game is gonna be about. Kairi is gonna be center focus, or should say specifically Sokai, and Riku will be virtually non existent.

Now I know what your thinking, well duh its all about saving Kairi of course Riku wont have that big a role and she’ll be the main focus, and to that I say no shit sherlock I already knew that. My issue isnt that it was Kairi focused because I already knew that and still pre-ordered the DLC, but my issue is what this title screen represents and my fears were proven correct.

Let me elaborate

Riku is just as much of a friend to Sora as Kairi is, from the beginning of the series its always been Sora, Riku, and Kairi, thats the way its ALWASY been. But from this title screen I could tell Riku’s bond with them wasnt gonna be present at all and I was right.

I’ll elaborate further

I know Im jumping way ahead here but bare with me, at the end of the game after Sora rescues Kairi they travel the worlds together, Sora notices he is fading away which is why he goes to the many different worlds he has visited but now with Kairi, spending his final moments with her before he finally disapears.

See the problem? Sora doesnt involve Riku at all in his final moments being alive, he is just completely absent during his entire remaining life. Sora only spends time with Kairi during his final moments, Riku wasnt shown with them once.

I know some people say well we dont know how long Sora was alive before vanishing and he was probably the one who organized the party, but did we see that though? did we see any signs that Sora was alive for more than a day or two? did we see Sora talking to anyone like he was setting anything up? NO, it was all about Kairi and Riku was completely forgotten.

I can understand if Sora wasnt dying then it wouldnt matter how much time he spends with Kairi alone, but Sora was fading away ANY SECOND and he didnt spend any of his remaining time with Riku at all, even at the beach party who is Sora sitting next to alone with before he finally vanishes? Kairi. That is inexcusable and a huge insult to Riku and his bond with Sora, hes just completely excluded, that is unforgivable.

These new added scenes to the ending actually made it worse than the original version of it, before we didnt even know Sora was around for more than a day and just assumed they all had a beach party afterwards to celebrate getting everyone back and saving the world, but now we know Sora was actually around for an extended period of time and made no effort to spend time with anyone other than Kairi, not even his best friend Riku did he spend time with for his final hours, that is despicable.

Another major issue is how Sora keeps saying his journey started with losing Kairi in this game, as if Riku wasnt ALSO lost that day, as if Riku wasnt the reason Sora kept on his journey even after saving Kairi and sending her back to Destiny Islands, as if he didnt fall to his knees and bawl his eyes out finally reuniting with him, as if he wasnt content with spending the rest of his life trapped in the Realm of Darkness with Riku, as if for the entirety of the base game of kh3 Sora wasnt constantly and only thinking about Riku and how many things he wished he could show him.

Apparently in Remind none of that happened, none of that mattered, it was Kairi that was his main motivation, it was Kairi that started his journey, Riku wasnt involved in it at all.

That is a huge issue with this DLC, it treats Riku like a side character and of little importance to Sora, in the base game they handled them fine minus that on instance in the Keyblade Graveyard where Sora says ‘Alone, Im worthless’ even though Riku’s right there but other than that their relationship and bond was handled very well but in Remind? practically non existent.

Now onto the story aspect, if your not into time travel and have trouble understanding the many variations of it then your gonna have a bad time because it gets VERY confusing to follow, which is why you should never introduce time travel because it becomes way too complicated to keep track of and not only that you also have to worry about things like paradoxes, ripples in time, alternate timelines etc. Its a complete clusterfuck to keep up with and manage so time travel really shouldnt have been introduced in this series.

Chirithy tells Sora that no matter what he cant change the past again, yet there are times where Sora does just that so exactly what cant he change? for example, when Roxas appears he asks Sora to do him a favor which is essentially getting the X back from Xemnas in their names. Sora does several things to make this happen and even Kairi gets a couple swings at Xemnas this time but then the two of them are basically caught and restrained inside shadow balls [pause]

See the prob? this is a huge change to that fight, Kairi never took a single swing at Xemnas, she just stood there and got snatched up, Roxas never asked Sora for help getting the X’s back from Xemnas, and Sora and Kairi never got restrained by Xemnas and knocked out.

Chirithy explicitly said Sora cant change what happened and no matter what he has to accept it for what it is, yet here he is, changing what happened. Maybe you could argue well this is an alternate timeline, even if it is that makes all of this irrelevant and means it never happened because the true ending is the one where it didnt happen, making this semi useful Kairi moment really pointless because at the end of the day its not canon, her being useless is the true outcome, none of this matters.

That is extremely disappointing, so even if you alter the past for the better it doesnt matter because its an alternate timeline and that timeline isnt the real one making this whole redo pointless and time consuming for a short DLC that was an extra 30$ to play.

So the time travel is very confusing and even if you follow it, it ends up being very disappointing when you realize none of it matters.

Moving on to some of the tied loose ends, Im glad they explained why Aqua froze up after saying ‘We stand together’ and I like how we get to see how Young Xehanort came to have the beliefs that lead to what he did and also MOMs subtle influence on him succumbing to darkness.

He told Xehanort that he would outgrow the robe and no longer need it because if he was truly powerful then he’d be the one controling the darkness, this leads to Xehanort later begining to travel without the robe and being corrupted. So we know now that MOM also influenced that as well and is very sketchy, even more now than he was before since this action greatly influenced what Xehanort eventually does and all the pain he caused, all of which would have probably never happened if it wasnt for him.

But thats just my theory and what I got from it.

I liked that we got to see Namine for a brief moment where Sora basically brushes her off and completely forgets about thanking her, this is a plotline Im pretty sure at this point is just never going to get resolved. He just tells her to go to the Final World and walks off, which makes no sense because Sora was surprised to see her in the original playthrough.

Another change was Lingering Will dying to protect Sora, again this never happened because Sora was busy fighting alongside everyone in the maze while Lingering Will and Terranort were fighting away from them. After Lingering Will died for him then Sora is pretty much squeezed to death by Terranorts Stand, or atleast knocked unconscious.

So much about these are just so confusing as to how they are happening when Chirithy said the events couldnt be changed I just stopped questioning it.

But atleast this time its made clear that Namine is the one who sent Lingering Will to help everyone and how she did it, so now people can stop saying Kairi is the reason everyone survived because it wasnt, without Lingering Will they would have all died a second time.

Basically the first half of the DLC is just recap with some minor changes and additions to the cutscenes, you get to play as other characters like Riku [optional] Aqua [not optional] and Roxas [optional] but other than that its basically the same thing all over again for the first 3-4 hours of the DLC, that is ridiculous.

The new content finally starts when Kairi is shattered, funny how the game gets good after Kairi dies xD I’ll stop.

Anyway once Kairi dies is when we finally get explorable Scala, but not without having to endure an insane fight with tons of heartless and nobodies and yes its more complicated than you think. It doesnt matter how many heartless or nobodies you kill, they will keep coming until you kill this one red heartless with way more health than your average heartless has.

After that you can pretty much wander around Scala as you wish and this is the only time where you can buy items or food so make sure to do that if your low on items. If your low on money there are minor enemies there that you can kill to get some so take advantage of this opportunity because your not getting another one.

Your goal in Scala is to basically run around, solve a couple puzzles, and get 5 of Kairi’s heart shards, revealed to having to be 7 later on. Sound fun? besides being able to see more of Scala’s layout, not really. But its a good place to take a breather before getting back into the big battles ahead.

Unfortunately your actually forced to fight the armored organization again but thankfully you dont have to do the ENTIRE final battle over, just that one section which I appreciate but wish we didnt have to do any of it at all.

So after we’re done Scala we get in MY opinion the two best parts of the entire DLC. We get to see what was going on with the rest of the keyblade wielders back home and it was INSANE and extremely well done, everybody had a chance to shine.

When everyone was swept away and Mickey was down and out, it was amazing seeing Mickey push himself back up and slowly with what little strength he had take on all the armor organization BY HIMSELF severely weakened, yet still powerful enough to hold them off and stand his ground. He really showed us WHY he is the King, so THAT I really enjoyed. It was extremely well done and one of the most memorable parts of the DLC.

The next part was even more insane and well done, which is us getting to fight as all the keyblade wielders against the armored organization and even get some cool dialog and team attacks in between, it was just amazingly well done seeing everyone work together and switching between characters was just so epic and enjoyable.

Honestly I could play those two parts over and over again and enjoy it everytime, their just that good and the most memorable in the entire DLC.

Coming back with Kairi and killing Xehanort together with all the keyblade wielders including Kairi this time was satisfying to see but it excludes Xehanorts and Eraquses final words, I mean yea seeing Xehanort have a semi happy ending put off alot of people but at the same time, seeing Xehanort come to the realization that he was wrong about everything and giving the Wayfinder trio closure by seeing their master one last time and hearing his apology to them just held more weight to me.

Im not saying I think Xehanort should be redeemed as easily as he was, but I feel like excluding Eraqus and their final words made the ending feel hollow, just ok we beat the bad guy, happily ever after now. Thats pretty lackluster and unsatisfying In my opinion.

Finally the ending....

Heres where Im gonna be biased and give my personal thoughts. Warning if your a fan of Kairi skip to the very end of the review where I give my overall rating

I hate the ending, for the reasons I listed in the beginning but also many others. I get the main focus was gonna be Kairi since the DLC was about saving her, Im not mad about the obvious, Im mad about the execution.

The Sokai agenda was so forced and apparent its not even funny, they shove it in your face so hard yet when Sora is talking with Chirithy he still refers to Kairi as a friend, really? your shoving this pairing down our throats just to have Sora still friendzone her? Im not mad because I dont want them together anyway but I hate the games being played here, you either want them together or you dont, pick a friggin side Nomura.

And while we’re on the subject, I hate, HATE, how this game is so heavily romance focused when Kingdom Hearts was NEVER about romance to begin with, it was always about friendship and bonds. Not in this DLC though, no now its all about Kairi and being with her forever, traveling the world together, holding hands, all this lovey dovey nonsense nobody invested in the plot could give a rats behind about.

Sure people who are into Kingdom Hearts for the romance of course they dont mind, but Im pretty sure MOST people invested in this series are in it for the story, not some stupid pairing, and I HATE how much they shove it down your throat because it is just so forced and obvious what they were doing.

This was all damage control for Kairi, who has been a useless damsel in distress and dues ex machina in every single game shes been a part of. I repeat, EVERY SINGLE GAME SHES A PART OF.

Kh1 - Kidnapped, unconscious, Sora needs to die to save her.

Kh2 - Kidnapped, held hostage, Sora needs to find and save her.

Kh3 - Kidnapped, unconscious, is killed twice, Sora needs to die to save her.

Do you see what I fricken mean? Every fuckin game its the same danm thing over and over and quite frankly Im sick of it. You might as well say this is a Mario game because Kairi is princess Peach always gettin snatched up and Sora is Mario always going through insanely deadly trials to get her back, and then it happens all over again.

This DLC was damage control for that, instead of immediately getting snatched up by Xemnas she actually gets a few good swipes at him to no avail of course, and then she fights together with Sora against armored Xehanort, all of which is just damage control for her not doing anything in the entire franchise and pandering to her fanbase that are constantly screeching for playable Kairi and for her to do something.

It was also damage control for how non existent their relationship was and what a joke its been since Kh1. They arent fooling anybody because thats exactly what this was, otherwise why you have to try so hard to CONVINCE us how important she was to Sora? why did Riku have to get sidelined so much just to boost Kairi up? why’d Sora completely disregard Riku as a part of his journey? why did Sora not spend ANY time with ANYONE for his final moments alive? its so obvious why. The only way to convince anyone shes actually important and relevant is to play down everyone else or exclude them entirely.

Congratulations, you got your wish, good for you fandom, but at what cost?

The time they spent forcing so much Sokai could have been used to tie up way more loose ends than there were but nope, gotta squeeze in that Sokai, thats what yall really here for right? fuck off.

The two best moments of the game was so short lived its not even funny, this DLC was full of so much padding in the first half, forced romance and pandering for damage control they forgot to actually make this a decent DLC.

Since I recorded my gameplay from start to finish I can actually tell you the amount of old content vs the new

3-4 hours of mostly what we already seen with a few changes, I only died twice

1-2 hours of new content, probably less because I got lost and died alot

That is unacceptable, 30$ for only 10% new content? that is a robbery.

Not only that but the worst part is the Limitcut episode, databattles have always been optional for competative players who like the challenge. Now you are FORCED to fight these INSANELY hard bosses, all 13 in order to get the final bits of the aftermath of the story.

WE PAID FOR THIS, this wasnt free we PAID for it and yet we’re basically told ‘Hey if your a casual player and want the rest of the story? well you gotta fight 13 of these insanely hard databattles that used to be optional but now their madatory for you to get the rest of your moneys worth. Too difficult? cant do it? well too danm bad, get good or go home we got your money already so screw you guess you’ll never know’

That is a fucking robbery and a huge slap in the face to people who are invested in the story, not proving their the best by fighting insanely difficult battles no matter what difficulty your on. It wouldnt be an issue if this was always the case, but these battles were always OPTIONAL for competetive players to do if they WANTED to, but now its mandatory and if you cant do it then oh well middle finger to you.

I couldnt even beat Vanitas, I fought him first and then Luxord and I couldnt beat either of them so I just said fuck it and went on youtube to see what I paid to see for free. 30$ wasted on a game I cant even finish, your out of your fucking mind if you think thats fair and excusable.

Thats why at the end of the day I give it a 5/10, its not good but its not bad either, its just decent. But if you asked me if it is worth the time and money? fuck no, my advice? watch other youtubers play it and keep your 30$

If you want it just to play as some of the characters, experience the new content for yourself, and play the databattles then by all means get it.

But if you think thats not enough for you to spend 30$ for then dont get it.

Overall Re:mind gets a 5/10, useless padding for majority of the first half of things we’ve already seen and cant skip because theres new scenes mixed in, forced romance that nobody but shippers care to see, severely lacking new content, and unfair extremely hard mandatory databattles just to see the final aftermath of the story which is kind of important setup for the next game.

Fuck this DLC, this was my fist time EVER buying a DLC for ANYTHING and thanks to this its probably my last. So thank you Re:Mind, for ReMinding me why I never bought DLCs in the first place.

Ps - Im so glad playable Kairi was optional, thats one of the only things this DLC did right.

[talkingtomyselfblog]

mourning journal 3

Agh! My apple AirPods ran out of charge! A new challenge I will need to be mindful of I guess. Here we go with another stream of consciousness. i watched the new cartia mallan vlog this morning and i am just so obsessed with HER-- like her aura, her style, her humor, her love for adventure, she has such amazing vibes. keep typing sheila keep typing you just arent getting into this like you thought you would you just need to keep typing. im going to yoga today! which will be fun. im wearing heals today that might be uncomfortable we’ll see. ive been thinking lately about love, in like a lonely way lol. idk. i want to feel it. im at home and dont feel love like i think others feel it. i dont feel comfortable at home. at least, not fully. and idk. i want a companion. but like, i havent felt anything close to that in a while. sometimes i think about my ny guy but i convince myself he never thinks about me. i guess this is all my doing though. lets rewrite that. i bet my ny guy thinks about me. hes probably sad the moments gone like i am. and i do feel love at home. its unique and im lucky enough to experience it. i am grateful. i am grateful for the trees which give us so mcuh. im thankful for the opportunity i have to work in san francisco. I am grateful for my parents who love me so much they dont know how to handle it. i am grateful for my brother who tries his best. i am grateful for my introspection. i am grateful for the bart, which is saving me all the gas money. im thanksful for the friends i do have. im grateful for all the love i recieve. im thankful for nature for giving me so much love and comfort and beauty. so ive been thinking about looking more into wicca. idk it just kind of feels right to me.... like a religion worshipping nature feels safe to me. and it embodies all ive been thinking about lately, with my facination with tarot cards and crystals and yoga...idk it came to me and it makes sense. i appreciate this time ive been given to be alone because it has forced me to look at what i love and what facinates me. i can say i have a hobby and passions which was missing . before. so i hope to really go al in and doing the necessary research to feel comfortable with it all. i want to really know astrology and i want to be able to confidently give a tarot card reading and i want to know when to use what crystal and talk about them to other people with ease. i hope really diving into the things i love will help me meet someone who i vibe with. because i do love myself dont get me wrong...but i wanna experience life with someone else. not just anyone. but having company sounds nice. ugh i was about to stop tyoing but realized im not even car sick thank god so i should keep going! work has been good. stressful but good. i hope i make friends soon. but i also dont want to rush it. idk. i guess i am really fucking lonely man. i still think about the friends ive left behind and am really fucking proud of my strength because why interact with people that probably arent thinking the same thing abut you and probably dont think about you nearly as often as you think about them (hence the reason you broke up with them in the first place) im so sick of the toxicity i jsut want to meet someone where its so easy to get along and we just mesh and understand each other and i dont care who it is i dont need a romantic partner i just need a partner and if its romantic or sexual then thats a bonus but i dont want to be closed off to any ideas. i also think about how no one in the family who is under 32 is talking to me. makes me feel like im, diffoicult to get along with, or i really get under peoples skin. and it really hurts when its familty. becaue they are suposed to love you for who you are, unconditionally. but not even the americans are cabable of doing that. its really sad and i dont htink theres much i can do about it cause its their problem. im great. and if you dont want me. thats your loss. its your loss. im fantastic. im funny, im clever, im introspectiive and philolo[hical so can hold a great conversation. im pretty, im fun, im always down to try  new things. i am cabable of loving so har.d im a catch. i know why peoiple have an . issue and its just because we edont work out rightn now in our lives. things will work out when they work out and i just need to be patient and take things as they come. stop dwelling in the past stop thinking about the future just focus on the now. how do i feel right now? im a bit tired but ready for the day. im so grateful for this seat i was able to find on bart. im grateful for this opportnity to write my thoughts down. and im so happy i stuck with it because this felt good :) omg someones storing behind me LOL. things i want to manifest this year are moving out and going to columbia to visit yvonne. thats all i would liek to manifest. and i missed the eclipse and im so sad about that. i want to meet more people into this stuff to maybe help me remenber important dates like that. nbuut i alwso want to be able oto remember on my own. i just need to keep reading sheila. you need to jeep reading because you are more than capable of becoming comfrotabel with this knowledge on your own. i know youve alwasy taken the easy way and not help as much responsibility when it comes to learning probably due sto insecurity and your inferiority complex given to you through emotional abuse in your household. but you can do it. especially now. because you are so grwon and have really learned from so much that has happened. im so freaking proud of you. IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU SHEILA!1!! you have gone through so much and i know it. i see it. i see you, and i love you. 

[vigilent-yaksha]

tagged by: @aggy-the-which <3 

Last drink: som agua 

Last phone call: gamestop bc they wanted an interview 

Last text message: me gf abt job stuffs and THE FUTURE

Last song you listened to: fuckin uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh why do i cry by remote girl??? its so fucin good 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRAw5wsAKik

Last time i cried: i dont remember, probably over smthn dumb tho 

Dated someone twice: nooooooooooo...?

Kissed someone and regretted it: naw son, all keeses good keeses

Been cheated on: gosh i hope not 

Lost someone special: no

Been depressed: hell yea biihhh B) 

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nop! j

Fave colours: lilac, ruddy pink, basically bright neon rainbows,black, and cyan blue! 

In the last year have i…

Made new friends: a bunch!

Fallen out of love:no :0 

Laughed until you cried: lmao all the time

Found out someone was talking about you: no p 

Meet someone who changed you: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMM 

not rlly? im just a nasty boy aint nithin changin me

Found out who your friends are: lmao, none of my friends have been snakes, YET

General

How many facebook friends do you know irl: most except like.... 2

Do you have any pets: my dog napoleon! hes a fuck! 

Do you want to change your name: yea boiiii, idk if i wanna change my last names tho.

What did you do for your last birthday: nothing! 

What time did you wake up today: like 11:30 and i was almost late to my interview ;w;

What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing and watchin some movies

What is something you can’t wait for: hanging w my gf, uuuhh thE SUMMER.

What are you listening to right now: som good ol’ gamley grump

Have you ever spoken to a person named tom: ....n...no?? idk man everyone i know is latino/ not white, i maybe met a tom once.

Something that’s getting on your nerves: i dont wanna say it, its too mean ;w;

Most visited website: uh, dA and youtube really? im mostly on mobile tumblr sooooo

Hair colour: black! 

might dye it but, im looking for a job so //SHRUGS

Long or short hair: short and choppy! i cut my own hair so i keep it shaggy 

Do you have a crush on someone: im very gay for rami malek and mads mikkelson, also my girlfriend i guess shes cool too ;) 

What do you like about yourself: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh my HAIR 

god i love my hair i think its the most unique part of me, and my eyes, theyre small and cute, also my moles.

Want any piercings: hmm i wanna get a nose one but ima baby so ill probably wear fake ones,

Blood type: idk man 

Nicknames: bec, guts, pissboy, teddy bear, and more probably

Relationship status: me and my gf thottin around

Zodiac: gemini

Pronouns: he/him

Fave tv shows: madok magic, drago maido, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh

mobbu psycho.............uh.....

Tattoos: none, but i wanna get a witches kiss frm madok on my bod somewhere 

Right or left handed. right

Ever had surgery: yeeee

twice i think 

Piercings: ears and my lip used 2 be pierced but i just let it close 

Sport: naw but i like to dabble

Vacation: hmm.... anywhere as long as i can road trip there, deffs japan, 

More general.

Eating: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM cant ever stop me from gobbling everything up, my fav foods are dumplings/potstickers, fried rice,tortilla soup, and.. alot ok i love alot  

Drinking: i hate soda except apple sodas and sangria, ( w the occasional grape), uhh.... i guess i sorta drink the alcohols, nut much, just socially if im w the boys 

I’m about to watch: nothin, still watchin gamley gramps

Waiting for: me to stop being lazy 2 get some food 

Want:  M O N E Y 

Get married: Maybe! idk it depends in how it works out! i certaily hope so !

Career: idk man fuckin,,,, 

Which is better

Hugs or kisses:huggus

Lips or eyes: lippies

Shorter or taller: im tall, i like being tall, but my gf is a teeny tiny baby, so both 

Older or younger: older!

Arms or stomach: tum!

Hook up or relationship: ....uh.. neither?? 

Troublemaker or hesitant: TROUBLE

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: Ye, twice

Drank hard liquor: is drinking straight fireball like.. hard liquor?

Lost glasses: no but i break em all the time, 

Turned someone down: not... explicitly, they just told me they liked me, said some sexual things, and then never responded when i said i was uncomfortable, then i got together w my gf a day later! 

Sex on the first date: naw homie, i am a civilized boy 

Broken someone’s heart: //SHRUGS, all of my exes excpet one have broken up with me, exept one, but they had someone new a few days later so, i doubt they missed me 

Had your heart broken: meh

Been arrested: probably

Cried when someone died: well yea.

Fallen for a friend: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Do you believe in

Yourself: HELL YEA

Miracles:i belive in good karma, so i suppose.

Love at first sight: MMMMM. it depends, bc you can start having feelings for someone as you see them, but those feelings should be explored before realizing you really want to be with them, is your humor compatible? is your way of speaking and acting compatible?

Santa claus: bih im latino we partied all night santa was never a thing for us 

Angels: the angle in my heart is my darling gremlin 

Other

Best friends name: i have alot ok, so many friends i love

Eye colour: dark dark DARK brown.

Favourite movie: uh, this is hard, i guess i alwasy go back to watch the rebellion movie, uuuhh.... fuckin,,,, //SHRUGS

Fave actor: rAM I M A L E K              

[1rmono]

can I vent n kinda confess here just a good Ramble please okioki sO im 17 (in my penultimate year (year 12 in the good ol UK) of school) and so it all began when this Boy in my form class asked me to thProm and it was so lovely i want to Re Live the moment every day. we were in computing class and we sit next to eachother and he sais "hey are you going to prom" n im like "hm yea even tho idont want to" (bc i hate dresses and fuss and parties) and hes like "its okay rachel you cn go w me" {1/???}

n then my heart did this thing tht only ever happens when he talks to me cs hes so polite and he alwasys says my name like wOw thats so Intimate how could you abd i feel sick but i live it?? andd i PAnicked when he said tht like dhbj so i blurted out “NO” and the. n i kick myself so hard and apologise “bc i already arrange the o go w my friends sorry” and ye i do kinda like this boy i guess bc he likes anime too n he reccommened one piece n kuroshitsuji to me n i enjoy them and {2/??}

i just pretended not to care hahahhah a aha H so then Prom happened, i didnt say Hi to him at th prom bc HA me,,initiating a convo??then pigs can fly! and he looked so handsome when i saw him from afar in th e crowd i hate evrything and so he went to college and i stayed in my school and ive not seen him since bc were not close friends just former form classmates and anime conversationers in the computing class. i couldnt stop thinking abt him and Cue the period of crying and regret and {4/??}

and “what if id sais yes then or then or said hi to him” and i did that toxic thing of making up a fantasy world where i was more friendly to him so tht he would like me and smile to me more i actually drafted in my notes for ages a message to him that id like to send ,,, like"oh howdy long time no see yea im sorry i said no to you when you asked me to prom" trying to hint “hi shall we use Magic to turn the clock backward and go to prom tgether even if jst like fridns like you wanted” and {5?/?}

and we could be closer and shit agh i regret regret regret i actually sent the message to him i think it ws “hi sorry i didnt say hi to you at th prom” about twi months after the prom and as soon as i sent it i had to go to th bathroom because i was so close to being sikc an d my heart was doing a louis hamilton alexander mcqueen weeeeooooo and ge replied “its okay dont worry how are you” and he used th (^.^) emoction how Fkin cute and i was reminded of how polite and friendly he was {6/??}

and friendly i dont know how he does it bc i cant talk to people properly and So Yeah he saaid the words “ive missed people too” meaning,,,, he doesnt miss me and even if he ever did he doesnt now!!! and tahts it thats the end ive never seen him since aNd its been overa year? since thatDay and whenever i see him on my social media i hate everything ad i just i just {8/8} im so s sorry for spamming you like i would nt wanna read an essay on some sappy schoolgirls first crush (fck me i said it)

hi its Sappy Schoolgirl again did i mention me n this boy were also anime friends with this other girl who is now a close friend of mine,, he siad to me once we should all hang out sometime which hasnt happened yet and i wont forget that time in Computing class when we were talking abt Subway and i said id never been (since then ive been twice n thought of him) and hes like “!!no!! youve never been to subway! i will take you! this saturday!!” but that didnt happen yk he was only joking

tumblr ate your third ask but this was such a rollercoaster omg….,,,,not to be sappy but ur love for this boy is so pure u even get excited over his emoji usage omg that is so real n cute wow…..i feel so bad it didnt end the way u wanted to n i feel like maybe meeting up with him once just to hang out n tell him how u feel might be good just to get closure about the whole thing? but that’s just my point of view ofc ! i hope it turns out better for u ah this really was like reading a high school love story that needs 1 more chapter added about the happy ending :(

[low-budget-mulan]

All of the "hella [...] cute yall" asks! Muhahaha!

First of all tumblr changed and for some reason I am not getting all the asks that are being sent to me. So sorry for the late response 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I absolutely love the cold. it is my favorite thing ever 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I have used very weird things. Usually whatever is closest. i used a slice of cheese once... 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i take my coffee the way I like my men rich and creamy or strong and black. there is no in between . 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I don’t ever really smile. so i mean not really 

6: do you keep plants?

until they die yes. 

7: do you name your plants?

no??? i’m not weird 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

sleep

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

if absolutely nobody is around 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

yes 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

where to begin. Snao, i dont need this my man has two jobs, it’s the strangest thing. it’s the weirdest thing, drugs, AMERICA EXPLAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN, i eat dogs for breakfast. there is so many more that I am just going to stop here. 

12: what's your favorite planet?

URANUS 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my friend 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

empty because we would be using all of our money to pay rent in the stupid place 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

My dad is helping to build the satellite to replace the hubble space telescope. 

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

RAVIOLI 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

PURPLE 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i MADE MY PRIEST THINK I WAS PREGNANT WHILE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND THE FATHER WAS ONE OF THE OTHER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no. I have always been unable to keep journals because my family doesn’t respect my personal space 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

tbh I really like brown eyes. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I don’t really have a favorite bag. 

22: are you a morning person?

hell no 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

sleep and netflix 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

no 

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

the church 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

i recently had to throw them away. I am now forced to wear shoes that are too small because I am too stubborn to buy new ones 

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

idk 

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

whenever i do something stupid/awkward/embarrasing my friend being completely honest will say “youre cute” she is great and must be protected at all costs 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

when i was forced to walk through the women’s march in san francisco 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i prefer bearefoot, but i wear silly socks or just don’t match my socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

for a second i though turtles said quack 

33: what's your fave pastry?

Conchitas 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

it was a little stuffed girl doll thing. its name was sara (at the time I thought my name was Sarah so my doll had a different name than me) 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

yes, but am not artistic, so they just go to waste 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

wal 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clea, but it is alwasy messy 

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

idk can’t think of them off the top of my head, but when people do things then i get annoyed 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black to match my soul 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my scapular, but it isn’t jewelry. I don’t wear jewelry just religious items. my scapular is blessed by pope francis and a third class relic of a couple saints 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

the bible 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

honu. its smol, family owned, and peaceful. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

it’s been too long. cant remember 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

adoration 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

it’s kinda cheesy so i don’t think it will be very gouda. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pineapple on pizza 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

idk wasn’t really a scared kid 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

yes. can’t remember 

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

scapulars 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the digicatholit fam and taste of eternity 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

united memes 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, no, yes, yes. the ones ive seen I liked 

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my grandpa when my grandma was in the hospital last week 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

ummmmm can’t remember, but i do lots of things to prove points. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

idk 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it’s overplayed, but I like it. no. I am a normal person 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

me and me 

59: what's your favorite myth?

idk 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes. i lik the bred 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

i gave someone a lego once. not a set of legos, not a lego man. a singular lego piece 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

no. theyre everywhere 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

 blue and cloudy 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yes. renee. it’s been almost 2 days 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

non existent. i’d like to not die of allergies 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

i love them. 

68: what's winter like where you live?

hot 

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopoly and quelf 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

i was forced into playing it by someone who used to be my friend. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOT USING THEM EVER. 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

iced 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yes, but im too lazy 

73: what are some of your worst habits?

all of them 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

lit

75: tell us about your pets!

theyre ded 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

ye 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

MINIONS ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my friend will stay up super late watching movies with me even though he has things to do in the morning. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

dark blue. no. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

puddles of poo 

82: are/were you good in school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i could have been better 

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

hell yea. mostly catholic stuff 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

john paul ii comic books 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i guess 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

monty python, heavyweights, nacho libre 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

catholic ones 

89: are you close to your parents?

no 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

it’s hot and theres a lot to do 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

JAPAN 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

yes 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

not brushing it because i am lazy 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

idk? 

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

sleep 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i wait until it won’t let me wait any longer 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infj sign of the cross slytherin 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

idk it was fine 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

taste of eternity, your love

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

future 

[silencedbeing]

fuck, sometimes the feeling of wanting to talk to someone so badly just to tell them im feeling down is so shitty and full of myself. but fuck it really kills because i cant get it out os i guess heres my rant

I’vebeen feeling so happy lately and it was the best period of my life. I was back to learning and I actually enjoyed all the calculations and science bullshit. Now its my finals and somehow everything is just near the end point and I can’t seem to fucking be myself or even get the happiness. How does that happen? One moment you’re on fucking cloud and next you’re so below oyu feel like i=you’re in hell. 

Whats worse is twhen you dont have to someone to share this with. DOnt get me wrong, ive tried countless times sharing what I feel and whenever I have a shitty to my friends but trust me they dont like it. I think ive bombarded their life so much so its better I just leave them alone now. ahahhaha my fucking souless puny human mind cant take emotions well. fuck that. I always used to think people thats depressed or sad was shitty and just wasnt strong enough to face reality. Yeah thats me right now. What happened exactly ?

firstly, this is the one ive been trying to let go mostly for this year. I have friends, of course we laugh we talk we dont fucking share tho. In my understanding, friends are those who have your backs, willing to listen to you talk about that bitch or this bitch or that dude this dude. Theyre even the ones you go to the malls with, eat with but not my friends. So , ive known them for almost 8 years now and we hang out, we have a groupchat with only the 4 of us. After graduating it was all different. Actually, before graduation it was already shitty because that wasnt a fucking friendship. im sure they thought so too. its all bull shit. so after grad, 1 left us so it was only me and these other 2. by leaving, i mean that person already left to continue studying. so me and these 2 other people, had a whole 5 moths or so we couldve done anything. yeah i went on a trip with one of them. lmao that was a shitty trip. that person wasnt exactly into the backpackers lifestyle. ok just talking about the person like this makes me feel so bad. but its oaky, noone will read. let this be my own diary.

me and the other 2 was never fully ‘attached’ im not sure how we were even friends. to be honest i dont think any of my friends are real, i make them laugh because of my stupidity. thats pretty much it. im the kid in class who would alwasy annoy and disrupt the class sessions making half the class giggle and the other half hate my guts. i went to a pretty small school so most of the ones in class i was ‘friends’ with. serious, what the hell does the word friend truly mean !??!. anyways me and these 2 girls. i already knew i was being left behind somehow because they were actually related so fuck that bus. i should just not get too near with them so when they dump my sorry ass behind 3 km ahead i would feel it as much. wow the fuck was i thinking, actually letting one of them in my life. Do my problems not matter ? ive tried going on blahtherapy but honestly that website rarely gives me a good lsitener. i mean like, i keep getting people judging my problems saying its not serious. WELL IT IS FOR ME. HOW COME SOMETIMES I CANT FUKING SLEEP BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING AFRAID THE PERSON I ACCIDENTALLY CURSED AT HATES MY FUCKING GUTS. WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF MAKING NEW FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE IM SCARED THEYLL JUST LEAVE ME TO ROT IN A LONELINESS PIT OF DOOM

OK back to the 2 people story. so one of them was kind of and kind of not. im scared to say the person isnt my friend. but in all fucking honestly the person has never done anything for me. idk maybe. this is why i need another opinion. this whole matter could just easily be resolved if someone said im way overthinking and the friends would have actually been bothered to call me if i was nowhere to be seen or late to an event. but now. only when i have arrived would they remembered about my existance. i recently deactivated my twitter account fot this shit. i cant stop typing i want to type everyhthing. its flowing inside of me but frankly right now i hvae no idea what to be mad at.who to be mad at and even how to be ,ad at. 

the earliest iw as ever like this, the socially deprived potato i am right now, was when i was in primary 3 and  my violent way of playing got me in trouble because i accidentally hit my best friends ear with my jacket sleeves which had metal buttons at the end. i immediately regretted it and felt fucking guilty because my best friends ear got red and best friend started to cry. i have freidns here and there but i dont have that 1 special person you know ? the one you trust with all your secrets and problems. i have this one person but this persons life is so fantastic, i cant manage to keep up. so our conversations are usually plain. this person was the only one that asks if im okay. you know those little status hitns when youre upset. i hate those, when theyre too obvious or when theyre clearly made just for attention. ok now i fell bad because i feel like that was me. well i posted one up not long ago. I POSTED A FREAKING MEME. it was funny but this one person actually asked if i was okay. sucking psot on. i cried telling her what happened to me. sometimes each week is a punch to my head. i ahte this feeling of envy. hatred. i need advice on how to let it blow past me. the whole friend thing. do i need to really find someone ? or am i fine just by myself ? if its like that then who do i share my secrets with ? let me be compeletely real, im religious but when i pray i feel nothing which is shity. i try to really feel it. but to no avail i feel so sinful its terrible but i cant help it. i dont know how im every going to end this if i just keep going. so this is where it finishes. this was jsut to rant about my ‘friends’ problem. its bad for me. iget that this seems like a minor problem or not even a prboelm at all. but i feel it. it hurts. and fuck i want more than anything to make it go away so i can be happy again