#there aren't many books I truly like and am a very difficult reader

[adrinktostopyourthirst]

Are you reading any books right now? And do you have a favorite book? Any recs?

I am no literary genius and truly, the Sarah J. Maas books mean everything to me. I have read the ACOTAR series five times now and the feeling it gives me cannot be attained by any other book.

That being said, today I finished a book: The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent. This book was fantastic. It is fantasy, quick, action-packed, smutty and has a great plot with good twists!

I also just finished This Is War by Kennedy Fox. Just smut and truly a guilty pleasure, but not that good to be entirely honest. I started on Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi, but haven't gotten to conintuing to read it yet because the largeness of the sries is intimidating to me. I am very, very excited to start on the Jade Legacy series by Fonda Lee.

Books I really recommend are:

Mythos by Stephen Fry

Human Kind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay

[sometimesrosy]

There is something that truly frightens me these days that teens and up are very unfreaked out about these days and it makes my eyes saucer big in shock. I'm on plenty of reading forums where "readers" say they forget the novels they read the second they finish them. They aren't concerned at all about it and when anyone starts to question it they describe reading as just walking past 100's of paintings in an art gallery and only enjoying the paintings for the length of time it took to look at them. Am I just showing my age to think this is nuts? Wasting time to not remember a thing. Then also think they are winning at life to go through a hundred books a year like this?

So I have a different take on this.

Remember please that as an English major, English teacher and writer, I am invested in paying attention to literature. It's a deep pleasure to analyze and understand stories and poems and essays solidly.

Saying that... that's not the only reason to read or the only way to read.

You're allowed to read just for pleasure. Just for the wild ride of the book and not have to be able to critically analyze it when you're done.

You're also allowed to read for escapism. This world is way crazier than it used to be, and we used to think the world was crazy forty years ago. Kids often don't have a lot of control over their lives and reading is a way where they get to feel more in control and/or safe.

When I was a teenager, I didn't read a hundred books a year. I read, oh, I'm guessing, four to five hundred books a year. I read 1-3 books A DAY.

Why?

One. I had a two hour commute both ways. Two. I didn't have money so reading was my entertainment. Three. I only had like seven tv channels, no streaming, no social media etc. And four, and the main reason. Reading was my coping strategy to deal with a difficult, scary and sometimes dangerous homelife.

Do I remember all the books I read as a teen? Absolutely not. I like to say that those books went into "the soup," and they certainly did. I don't remember them for particular narratives, but I remember general conventions, patterns, tropes, structures, timings, moods, themes, cultural expectations, etc. I credit that intense reading period with making me a writer. Reading became as natural as BREATHING.

Do you remember every breath you take? No, of course not.

Admittedly, it turns out that I have adhd, and that sort of hyperlexia is a trait of adhd and autism, so there's a reason for it. I'm not normal and never have been. But you're looking at reading patterns here that aren't normal either.

So these kids are addicted to books.

GREAT! Do you know what other kinds of things kids COULD be addicted to? So many bad things. Let them have their speed reading. Let them do PJO or their ACOTAR or their fanfics. I don't know what kids are reading today.

Reading is PRESCRIPTIVE. People read for what they need and what you may need-- a wider view of the world or intellectual stimulation or a hit of beautiful language-- may not be what these kids are reading for-- escapism, anxiety, entertainment. And neither of those reading needs are wrong.

I read like those kids when I was in high school. And I was one of the only ones I knew who did read that much. I think it's good that reading is cool because it wasn't in the 80s. BUT after I did that 6 year sff binge, I went to college and got a degree in English, and I did NOT read that much anymore. I read more slowly and wrote essays and analyzed books and chose new genres and talked about books and remembered quotes and all that. And I read more slowly for, oh, twenty years, until PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, chronic illness and stress got to me. And then I started binge reading again. Now the genre guarantees a happy ending to combat the anxiety, and it's non-intellectually demanding so my ADHD brain can actually rest instead of going a mile a minute as it does when I don't have something occupying it.

I read 224 books this year and I absolutely can't remember them all. I have to keep a log with titles and authors and ratings and summaries so I can remember which ones I liked best. I reread those, and the second (and third and fourth) read helps me remember the plot and characters and everything else. A close reading is different for me than an entertainment read. My business is words, so when I read for entertainment I don't fuss.

So here's what I'm saying. Reading is good even if you think they aren't reading right. There is no 'right' for reading. If they're just reading for escapism, that's fine. If it's fostering a true love of books that might become a career, that's great. If they're reading as a coping strategy. Leave them alone unless you're a therapist and can help them out.

Another possibility you might want to consider is that it's your questions that are making their brains go blank. A lot of people have trouble answering direct questions like that. And if they actually sat and thought about the story or characters and kind of unfolded it from that direction, would actually remember. By 'a lot of people' I mean me. My adhd brain doesn't remember like that. But if I go back to my log and look at my summary, the narrative will come back to me.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Lucy Undying by Kiersten White

3/5. Releases 9/10/24.

vibes: Dracula but with a closer look at the sapphic parts, sometimes women just need to kill people, parallel narratives

Heat Index: 2/10

Lucy Westenra was famously a victim... But what if she actually did go on to "live" as a vampire throughout the centuries? She's been trying to evade her maker ever since her first death, which leads her to Iris in the twenty-first century. Iris has her own past she's trying to escape, and she and Lucy find a commonality in one another... and love. Yet neither of them are truly free, and without defeating those coming after them, they can never truly be together. A little easier said than done when one of those threats is... Dracula.

I was really excited about this one--that cover! Dracula! Sapphic vampire romance! And it's... a book I'd recommend to a certain audience, yes. Namely people who really enjoy retellings of gothic tales with a flipped lens, queer retellings especially. Yet, I don't think it reached as far as it could have.

There are several different primary narratives here (though they aren't quite the only perspectives you'll have). You have Lucy's diary from her human life, Lucy telling her story to a therapist, and Iris's much more straightforward twenty-first century point of view. Personally, I thought the diary entries were really interesting and indeed pretty tragic. Lucy's therapy sessions are both a cool tribute to Interview with the Vampire (or so they read to me) and like.. genuinely funny. I like her. I like Vanessa, the therapist. They're the kind of unhinged I believe Lucy, with everything she's been through, would be.

Then you have Iris.

So like--this book is in many ways a romance. Specifically the romance between Lucy and Iris. Obviously, I, as a romance reader, am so down for this. And I'm glad that White gave Iris a POV, as it can be so difficult to write a romance through only one POV.

The issue is that Iris isn't super interesting. In theory, her story should be--there's a lot of work done, and it's the kind of darkly comedic take with a decent amount of commentary on twenty-first century life that I would normally be down for. But Iris... just doesn't have a great voice? And her romance with Lucy is very instalove.

Instalove can be sold (controversial take, I know) but when you have the story splintered in so many different directions, you really can't settle into it. Because yeah--we get Lucy's POV, but much more so in the past, or in tellings of what she did in the past. Not so much when she's with Iris. Lucy is a compelling person, I just didn't really get why she was so into Iris.

Also, Iris really does seem to only exist in relation to Lucy, at points. In the sense that she's there to make sure we're interpreting everything else correctly. There's a whole section where she sort of summarizes reading Lucy's diary, and tells the audience everything we should take from them, basically? And I was like--cool, I did get all of those things when I read them. It was a bizarre moment, in a book that I would say is overall pretty well-written otherwise.

Some people won't like the humorous tone. I personally did. By and large, besides moments like the above in Iris's sections, I think the writing is pretty solid. There are some pretty turns of phrase, and a clear love for the gothic. I didn't agree with some of the takes on certain Dracula characters... both from a Dracula perspective, and a "sapphic retelling" perspective.

Like, this book is interesting, for the most part. And I don't think it's bad, per se. But it's definitely not everything it could've been.

The Sex:

The sex is by and large off the page or briefly summarized. Honestly, I kind of felt like the Kiersten White YA books I read way back in the day were... more explicit? I don't know. Kind of wanted more from a sapphic vampire romance, though of course that's all up to her and valid and so on. I just would've Liked To See It. Might've added some more bite (get it) to the story.

Overall--I'd say that this will be right for some readers. And I feel like I should've been among them? It just didn't quite work for me.

Thanks to NetGalley and Del Rey for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[lizziestudieshistory]

I've been meaning to ask you have you seen that Silmarillion daily thing? What do you think about it?

So, I had to look this up because I vaguely remember seeing something about a daily Silmarillion but I had no plans in participating in it - only because I've learnt from Dracula Daily that I am horrible with serialised media. I'm impatient and I tend to read things in huge chunks so having things in small sections doesn't really work for me.

So, it's hard to comment because I don't fully know what this will look like. In principle, I think it's a great idea! The Silmarillion is a difficult book for new readers and I know so many people who have picked it up and dropped out because Tolkien inundates the reader with so many names and weird concepts. So, having it serialised to slow your reading AND grtting together a community to read it at the same time will work wonderfully for some people.

However, I'm interested to see how it's delivered. In theory, the Silmarillion sounds like a great text to do this with because it's so episodic. Once the Noldor arrive in Beleriand it jumps around a lot and each chapter forms a contained story in the broader narrative around the Silmarils. But this sounds like they're only covering the Quenta Silmarillion (QS) - which is great I ADORE the QS, and I think it's the bit that grips readers to most. Let's face it the Ainulindalë and Valaquenta are painful at times, even for Tolkien fanatics like me. But as much as I dislike the Ainulindalë and Valaquenta you do need them to understand the QS. Where else are you going to learn about who the Valar and Maiar are, or why song is a legitimate weapon in Arda? You aren't going to truly appreciate the insanity that is Finrod taking on Sauron without the Ainulindalë... I also think it's a massive shame to miss out the Akallabêth, but maybe that's just me 🤷‍♀️

I also don't truly know how they're splitting the book up. I know it's presenting summaries, similar to the YouTube series doing a similar concept from people like Tolkien Untangled and Voice of Geekdom (I would recommend both!) but how is it going to split the story? How is it going to help new keep track of family trees, kingdoms, and non-elven races when sometimes they disappear from the story for chapters? Some of this is difficult enough when you're reading through the book in a week or so, reading through it over a year could be very difficult!

I'm also slightly confused on how they're only presenting the parts with "concrete" dates. A LOT of the First Age is a mess chronologically. Oh, we have some births, deaths, and battles - but a lot of the details are a complete mystery when trying to create a timeline. We don't even know when Maedhros was born, or who fathered Gil-Galad (sorry had to bring this one up, he's my favourite 😅) - so how can we adequately cover a timeline when we don't know what all of the timeline is? Tbh I'm very confused by the schedule and the "welcome" email left me more confused... However, I don't think chronological is the right approach to take for this particular book.

I have now subscribed so I can see what I think once we start getting content. I'm glad they're encouraging readers so follow along in the book because so much is lost when you get summaries, even really good summaries. Personally, I doubt the daily newsletter format will work in reality for this one, the story is just too big and messy... But I'm intrigued, and I think it could be done well if it was run differently. I'd explain how I'd run it but this is getting very long, but I am happy to run through how I'd run a Silmarillion readalong elsewhere if you're interested in my ramblings on that 😂

Thanks for asking though! This has been an interesting one to think about! At the end of the day, I might have questions on the format but if it'll get people to read Tolkien's work outside The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings then I am a VERY happy bunny.

[bladesoflightandshadow]

In RoD that context could have been lost but that pressure isnt always unique to gender. A black male mc with a single father with intense pressure to succeed and to be perfect could also resonate. A number of the people who wanted a non-genderlocked book aren't white,straight or cis and experience that same pressure. Also in books like VOS it accounted for gender and had specific experiences if you played as a female Mc,they could have done that.

right so i lost my progress typing this halfway through so if i end up sounding pissy that’s why

i understand where you’re coming from. i understand how debilitating that pressure to be successful can be when you’re the child of immigrants, when you’re a person of colour, regardless of your gender. i even get how expectations of masculinity can play a role in making that experience even more difficult in some ways for men. i’m not saying it’s impossible to explore those ideas, and there does need to be more media which addresses that.

however, in the context of choices, and the way we’ve seen them handle social issues like that in the past, i really don’t see there being enough room for adding nuance in the way gender affects how an mc’s story plays out. even in the example you gave, veil of secrets, these gender variations were limited to a few interactions that didn’t really affect the overall storyline. and i honestly think vos did the whole gender variation thing the best compared to other books, but ultimately gender had little bearing on the mc’s actual development as a character.

with rod mc, however, her gender has played a huge role in her growth throughout the book, even if it is never explicitly stated. (i am admittedly not caught up, so i’m basing this off of what i have played and other people’s discussions of the book that i’ve seen.) her father’s over-protectiveness, the way he often refers to her as the ‘perfect daughter’, the fact that her entire narrative is based around the theme of freedom from not just her father, but from the world’s expectations of her as a young woman… like, sure, you might’ve experienced some of these things growing up if you’re a guy, but the level of universality that rod mc’s story is able to reach for other women reading the story, because she is a woman raised with expectations coming from a patriarchal society, could not have been achieved if she had been a guy.

and that kind of pressure is specifically tied to one’s identity as a woman, particularly as a woman of colour. even if you are, say, gay or trans, unless you have at some point experienced the world as what other people view as a woman, you will not have experienced the pressures that i was talking about in my original post. (i’m not trans and could only speak from my own experiences about womanhood, so i apologise if any of this comes off as offensive)

as a daughter, especially as an eldest or only daughter, from the moment you are born you are simply held to much higher standards than men are. i’m not saying rod mc is a perfect representation of all the experiences women, esp woc, have had to go through, but as far as choices mcs go she’s pretty fucking close. the fact is, the way her character is written means she represents a lot of these experiences, particularly wrt familial expectations & relationships, for the women reading her story.

and we don’t get to see that very often, so of fucking course we’d get defensive when we play this story, see ourselves in the main character, get emotional over the way her personal growth is written, and then see people telling us our enjoyment of this story is shallow and stupid. even other women who are criticising us–just because you personally don’t relate to the rod mc’s story doesn’t give you the right to tell us we’re dumb for liking it. 

i am NOT saying rod is without its faults, especially wrt how it handles lgbt characters. mona should’ve been a more integral character from the start, and they could’ve easily had another female love interest but they chose not to. this post & its replies explain that really well. 

but a lot of the 'hot’ takes i’ve seen about ride or die have been cold as fuck, because they’re unable to discuss it without making massive blanket statements about its readers (only straight ppl enjoy the book, we’re all homophobes for not wanting a male mc, etc.). plus, if you’re not a woman, your criticisms of this book will often sound disingenuous, because a lot of the time you’ll sound like you’re coming from a place of entitlement, not genuine concern. i’ve seen so many posts by people who aren’t women talking about how rod isn’t beneficial for wlw, how the writers don’t care about gay people, as if we don’t have more than 2 fucking braincells to be able to piece that together on our own. of fucking course that shit is going to sound insincere when you’re not even a wlw, and your main concern is obviously that you can’t play the story as a man. of course, when it comes to books like big sky country or the elementalists or perfect match, etc., they either don’t criticise them or only criticise them when it inconveniences them, and even then are able to look at it through a much fairer lens, because they can actually play as a man in those books. (yes!!!! i’m salty!!!!!)

being not white, not straight, and/or not cis doesn’t give you the right to make blanket statements about people who do enjoy the book, or to act like your opinions are objectively more correct than others’ are. on the other hand, even if you are attracted to men, even if you can relate to the mc’s struggles, you are not obligated to like ride or die. in fact, i personally find those posts talking about how 'ride or die is the best book out right now and you’re all just being salty’ annoying. nobody has to be made to feel bad because they don’t like it! but if people talking about how they like it truly does bother you, the block button is right there. so is the blacklist tool. that’s literally just how fandom works. not everyone is going to have the same opinions as you, and that’s fine.

i don’t have a fancy conclusion to tie all of this together so if any of it doesn’t make sense deal with it i guess lmao

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

I Am Not Living, I Am Surviving Hug Me Michael x Reader

Warnings: this theme deals with depression and thoughts of suicide which could be triggering for some.

A/N: as someone that deals with depression I felt compelled to post this. Michael helps Y/N during her depressive episode, the reader (much like me tends to shut people out especially when things get difficult so I feel this on a personal level). Hope you guys take the time to read this as it is kinda personal for me, thanks guys and please let me know what you think. Note the lyrics used are from Britta Phillips version of the song Drive

undefined

//who's gonna tell you when

it's too late

who's gonna tell you things

aren't so great

you can't go on

thinking nothing's wrong

who's gonna drive you home tonight//

I was not alone, that there was someone somewhere who was able to articulate the seething, jumbled, brutal, pre-linguistic, thrashing, writhing, hazing, dulling pounding in my head. It wasn't just me. That single thought was the most important thing in the world to me, sometimes the one thing that kept me alive – a single false note of optimism would have shattered it all for me, left me thinking yes, it really is just me – the words people offer me really are just that, words, the hope they contain utterly irrelevant because they relate to an experience that is not mine.

‘I put on a brave front' it had been so easy to hide how I truly felt, laugh, joke act like I was completely fine. But truth was I knew deep down inside I wasn't masking it would only work for so long. I was rapidly sliding deeper and deeper into a very dark space. My symptoms got worse and soon I found it too difficult to even get up and out of bed in the morning.

‘You feel nothing. You shut down completely. There is no happiness, no sadness, nothing. You feel zero.’ Depression is not something that can be brushed away with a smile, or shooed away with a pat on the back. It’s something more deeper and profound. There’s no gadget to test which person is suffering from what type of depression, and there’s no instrument to measure the extent of depression.

Statistics say that as many as 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. That means you know someone—probably several someones—with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder or something else. Isolation can have a crushing effect on a lot of people. Some people thrive on it, but humans on the whole are a social bunch and need to interact with others. When that isn’t possible, it’s easy to feel that the walls are closing in. But honestly all I was good at doing is pushing people away, I am afraid if they get to close if they see really see what I am going through that they might abandon me because it may end up being way too much for them.

I kept a diary somehow it felt safer to write down my thoughts, the one person I should be honest with is Michael but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. Would he be hurt? Would he hate me? So many thoughts in the back of my mind I pushed them away. I scribbled furiously in the journal and tossing it aside. Normally I hid it under a loose floorboard in our bedroom but on this night not giving it so much as a second thought I feel asleep journal wide open. Y/N didn't hear Michael when he walked in, he looked at you you were fast asleep. He noticed the leather bound book that laid open by your sleeping form. He didn't want to invade your privacy but something alerted him that something was on deed wrong. He looked at the small paragraph scrawled on the page, his face froze in fear at the words before him.

Dear Michael.

I've been thinking about ending my life. I don't know why I can't talk to you in person, so I bought this Diary in the case that I do end up killing myself you will know why I did what I did and that you cannot blame yourself. Michael you are the reason I am still here. for now. But the voices in my head are so strong and the pain that it is inflicting on me everyday, one more thing and I feel like I won't be able to hold on, but I will for you Michael  I will try my best for you.

Yours Truly,

Y/F/N Y/L/N

Depression is a hole and I'm slowly falling in trying to claw out and everyone I love is just standing there watching. Honestly I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep 'acting’ like I was ok when deep down inside I wanted to end it, quiet the voices leave the pain behind that quite frankly I felt like I was drowning in.

I opened my eyes I don't know how long I had been asleep or even what time it was. I looked to see Michael's concerned expression his piercing blue eyes felt like they had penetrated my soul. There my journal sat in his lap, Michael let out a breath attempting to steady himself. “Why won't you talk to me Y/N, tell me that something was wrong?” I couldn't even open up my mouth to speak it was like I lost all nerve to even respond. My first instinct was to bolt, I sat up quickly turning my body away from him. I wasn't able to even make it to the edge of the bed, Michael grabbed my arm “Y/N please talk to me don't shut me out!”

Michael's breathing started to get heavier as his eyes started to well up. Y/N  looked at Michael, saying nothing. He wondered what she was thinking. Finally, after a few moments, she started sobbing, and she leaned into him. Michael immediately pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, and struggling not to cry himself. ‘I was tired of feeling helpless. I had to do something, anything.’ ‘I remember that exact moment as the one where I started to feel good about myself again, I just wish it could've lasted longer…

There was another moment of silence, this one longer than the last, "I tried to tell myself that you'd get better, that you would get back to normal  but the truth is I didn't know that. I didn't know if you'd get better, you can't keep doing this to yourself Y/N, what if I never see you again! And the thought of everyone else just going on with their lives made me sick! So yeah,I am angry, and I am scared…  I didn't know what the fuck I am supposed to do!" Michael's voice finally broke as tears streamed down his face. Y/N, with tears in her own eyes, finally stood up. She pressed her forehead against Michael's and placed her hands on the sides of his head. ‘But most of all, I knew, come what may, I had at least one safe harbor.’ I looked up at Michael the look was unmistakable.

‘I'll never forget what I saw at that moment, looking into Michael's eyes.’

‘He loved me. This sweet, perfect man… loved me.’

After staring at him for another moment that seemed to last forever, she finally leaned in and kissed him. He quickly began kissing her back. The two of them continued this until it started to grow more heated, with the two of them running their hands over each other, and Michael kissing along the side of her neck.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.

"Are you… are you sure this is okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Y/N gave Michael a smile.

"I'm sure," I  said.

‘That wasn't entirely true. I wasn't sure, or rather I wasn't sure if I was sure.but I didn't know if that made a difference. I knew I wanted it to be okay this time.’

The two of them resumed, even more passionately this time. They began removing clothes and letting their hands roam over more of more of each other…

‘More than anything, I wanted it to be okay this time. I remember thinking, please, please, let it be okay this time.’

Michael continued kissing Y/N, who leaned her head back as the feelings came over her…

‘But it wasn't okay’

I inhaled sharply…

‘It was perfect.’

2 weeks later…

"How is Y/N?" Gallant ask, suddenly looking at Michael with concern on his  face.

Michael hesitated. He  came here to help Gallant with an issue with his salon , not unload his  own worries onto him. Still, lying to him didn't feel right either.

"I don't know, really," Michael  finally said. "She just doesn't seem to want to open up. I know she's been having a really hard time." Michael gave Gallant  a slight smile. “I think it's just going to take time.” Gallant responded softly.

‘The day were getting... bearable.’

‘So were the days after that, and the next after that.’

‘Michael found me a new doctor. A bit further away, but worth the trip. I was able to open up to her a little.’

‘Still, I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something I was supposed to do, but at first, I couldn't figure out what it was.’

‘But gradually I started to notice something…’

‘...something I couldn't shake once I noticed them.,

‘The signs.’

‘The ones most people didn't see. The ones no one saw in me until it was almost too late.’

Michael  wiped one last tear rolling down his face and closed his eyes.

“Please live for me Y/N," he said, softly. “Stay with me, I love you."

Y/N sighed in relief.

‘All I could do after that was live.’

Michael pulled me close to him tightly I could hear his heartbeat, a steady reminder to live

//Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.//

Mahatma Gandhi

[modern-academic]

I'm a young teenager who's really trying to be smarter and just generally enjoys learning. I'm very new to greek mythology and I've slowly been learning it, and I've also been trying to improve my vocabulary. I was wondering if you had any book recommendations (that aren't too difficult for me to understand as a teenager), topics I could be more knowledgeable on, or activities I should participate in?

Hi @skylarsoot!

Firstly I would like to begin by acknowledging and apologising for the great amount of time it has taken me in responding to you. Truthfully I have not checked my inbox in a while so forgot about this ask, but I have also been struggling in thinking of how best to reply. I should further admit that I am not well versed in Greek mythology as it is not a significant area of interest of mine and therefore my answer really may not be very useful at all. Nonetheless, I will try my best to answer, though perhaps not too well in the style of strictly book recs either.

What little knowledge that I have of Greek mythology (as you said you have been trying to learn about) has largely come from I have read online (ex. https://www.greekmythology.com/). Book rec wise, I am an older teen but I know that Madeline Miller's 'A Song of Achilles' and 'Circe' are very popular (and as far as I'm aware, much easier to follow) retellings of characters and events found in Homer's classics 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey' (which are also good to read on their own, but I would highly recommend researching the best translation for yourself as some, particularly older, versions can be more difficult for readers not overly familiar with the plot and/or characters already as well as complex language - but there are some good and easier to understand translations if you're interested in reading them at all). Robert Graves' 'The Greek Myths' is also supposed to be really good for Greek mythology through a very large overview of many (if not most) Greek myths and various variations of them. You could also read Nikita Gill's 'Great Goddesses' poetry book inspired by Greek Goddesses is also very good if you enjoy poetry (and some prose) and would like to read something more interpretational and modern.

I think for a topic to be more knowledgable on, it really does depend on what your interests are. If you're not too sure what it is you're interested in, perhaps investigate other things in your life that you enjoy and look around that. As a personal example, I love history and learning about history, yet one of my main historical interests stems from simply enjoying a (rather historically inaccurate, but 'real life based') period drama. My love for the show soon became a great interest, as I began avidly researching everything I could do surrounding the time period and events depicted as well as the characters' historical counterparts. This remains one of, if not, my greatest topic of interest and knowledge a few years on. What I'm trying to say is... it's easy for someone to tell you that you should know more about it, but if you want to truly enjoy it, it's much better for it to come from a place of interest rather than from pressure to conform to societal expectations of intellect. I don't really have any specific book recs as I really do believe that it is much better to become knowledgable in areas of interest and I have no idea of what that could be for you, but I know a lot of my knowledge comes from reading fiction and other media that I decided I liked and wanted to know more about.

As for activities, again I think it really does depend on what interests you. As you love learning, I would recommend, if you have the capacity to do so, going to places such as art galleries, museums, aquariums, theatre shows, exhibitions, fairs, botanical gardens, historical landmarks, planetariums... any place where you can learn (and expand your overall knowledge) and have a fun day out as well! For daily, at-home life, perhaps try things like getting a small houseplant to care for - and learn to care for, painting (try different styles and techniques even if you're not very good or have ever even done it before), learn an instrument even if the insturment is only your shower singing voice, play around with any small holes in your clothes and see if you can make it appear as if there were never any holes there to begin with (sewing). Ultimately, have fun and do what makes you happy but also do not disregard trivial things because every little skill you learn and devlop is skill that you didn't have or didn't have well devloped before, and you are all the better for the new knowledge you have from it.

I apologise for the longevity of this post but as it has taken me so long to respond I thought I should really try my best to give you a justifiable answer. I hope you are as well as you can be and that some of this has been useful for you.

[ty-menace-blog]

⤷ title: 12:04

⤷ featuring: taeyong (nct) x reader

⤷ rating: purely soft

a/n: i thought about this after watching one of his studio lives, and knowing the credit he just doesn’t often receive for being such a hardworking, and incredible artist, i felt it was my duty to write deeper into that, but pls enjoy !

⤷ summary: late night studio talk.

»»————-　♔　————-««

It was late.

A million things were on your mind. You were completely distracted. You thought about how you could never be on time for anything. Not even for your best friend's midnight crisis. To tell the truth, he never actually slept at normal times, so he liked to call you up late at night to have someone to talk to and be around. It was fine. Sometimes you weren't able to fall asleep so it was nice to be bothered. You were always his first choice. Always the one he called up at random times either to just chat or come hang out. That was nice too.

As you walked along the streets of seoul, you noticed the first drop of snow that began to fall. You stopped, and craned your neck up to look at the sky. It was dark, but you could see each and every snowflake that fell, one landing at the tip of your nose. With a crinkle, it dissipated into water, and made your nose tingle.

You took a peek at the time on your watch. It was past midnight. A sigh left your cold lips. You knew that if you didn't hurry, he would send about a billion messages wondering where you were or whether you got lost again. It was his way of worrying about you.

You smiled. He liked to be motherly. It was annoying, yet cute at the same time. You didn't mind it. Not at all.

The further you got down the street, the more you realized that it really was late out. You only came across two other people that were out, and they looked to be in a hurry (unlike you). Perhaps because of the cold. Either way, it made you pick up the pace to avoid the texts that you were sentenced to get if you didn't get there quickly enough.

When you got there, it surprised you that he hadn't sent not one message considering you were about fifteen minutes late. Perhaps he was busy. That was what you assumed, anyway.

Upon opening the door to the building, the immediate warmth you felt washed over your body while the smell of freshly brewed coffee crept its way into your senses. With a soft smile, you let your feet carry you the rest of the way mindlessly. Soon enough, you were in front of the studio, two drinks from starbucks in hand. One, an iced caramel frappicino, the other a strawberry açaí with coconut milk. One of his favorite drinks. You could say he liked anything pink.

Before you were able to knock on the door, it swung open, surprising you.

Taeyong never cared about what he wore late at night when going to the studio unless he planned on doing a vlive so, there he was dressed down in dark grey sweatpants, a plain white long sleeved shirt and a pair of shoes he'd recently artworked on. The shirt looked a size too big for him, but he looked cozy. Whenever he wore clothes bigger than him, it always made him look so tiny. You remembered a few weeks back how he came over to your place wearing the largest hoodie you’d ever seen on him, baggy sweatpants and a pair of converse with the laces untied. It made him look several sizes smaller, and five years younger. He ended up being the little spoon that night. As if you minded. The body heat he radiated all night was worth it. Especially after a point during the night he ended up turning around to wrap all of his limbs around your entire body resulting to you waking up sweaty the next morning. It was still worth it, somehow. Maybe it was the redness in his cheeks, an eyebrow twitching after every other breath, and the way he’d grip onto you at the slightest of movement from you. The moment he mumbled, “stay”, was when you melted in his long arms, and fell right back to sleep despite the overwhelming heat.

So, okay, it was maybe definitely worth it.

Taeyong stood in front of you, an arm holding the door open, wearing a cheeky smile. He looked adorable. You wanted to pinch his cheek but refrained due to still holding the drinks, and knowing he would whine and protest about it even though he liked when you did it. Such a baby.

"Oh! You finally made it, huh?" Taeyong commented, his eyes instantly dropping from yours onto the pink drink you held in your hand. "Let me guess: you're late because you went and got yourself two drinks." He shook his head. "Cruel. I fell asleep waiting for you, and you go and- wow, so cruel,” he said with a cute pout.

So dramatic, you thought to yourself as you fought back an amusing smile, and handed him the drink.

"Don't tempt me or I might actually keep it," you taunted as he took it. You took a sip of your coffee, and grunted with a gesture at him to let you in. He stepped aside, and you walked into the small space that felt like a cozy, warm home.

There was a small candle near the door that made the room smell like tonka bean and jasmine. A modern floral earthy melange. It made the room feel comfortable. He always knew how to make a space his home. Particularly, the studio, considering he stayed in it for majority of his free time. He liked it. He called it his Creative Space. You found him to be ridiculously adorable sometimes. Maybe it was the names he gave things or more specifically the way he said them. Either way, it was cute, and you never missed a chance to tease him about it every single time he came up with one.

You hummed as you sat down in the chair next to his, and looked over what he had previously been doing.

"Any progress?" You asked, as you drummed your fingertips against the paper cup.

You knew that he had been working on a new song he was wanting to use for the comeback that was coming up for 127, but this particular song was a bit more difficult than, perhaps, any song he'd ever written. He tried to explain to you what the concept of the album was going to be about, but you never could understand it. You just knew that he had been having quite a hard time with it. It was pressuring, you knew that as well. It worried you how much of his time he had to spend to work on it. He hardly got any rest because of it, but he always reassured you that he didn't mind the hours of sleep he didn't usually get. Being an artist wasn't a job to him. It was a gift.

Back then, he didn't know how special he was, or what his talents were, but ever since then, he'd been grateful for the opportunity. He felt important. Like he had a purpose. When things got difficult, he liked to remember what he had to go through to get to where he was. Though, it seemed like this time was different.

Taeyong was sipping on his drink as his eyes roamed over the lyrics he was working on. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head. He looked conflicted.

He squinted, set the drink aside, and sighed. "I get so...caught up in myself sometimes, you know? I think to myself, am what I'm doing...is it enough? There are moments where I know what I want to do, like I'll have the exact vision in my mind but there are times like these where I question myself. Do people actually like what I put out? Or are they just being supportive because I'm me..”

Even from the side, you could see the astray glint in his eyes. You pushed your coffee off to the side, and moved closer to him. He turned to you slowly, looking anywhere but at you. You could see it. He felt ashamed to be so lost. You knew he didn't like to show that side of him. He was a vulnerable person, but also prideful. He only wanted you to see the best sides of him. Not the sides of him that sometimes felt like a thin paper in the wind going nowhere. He liked it when you were proud of him. He just didn't know that you always were, no matter what he did. In your eyes, he was phenomenal in every possible aspect. You were more than proud. You were thankful to be his friend. To know what it was like to see him on his tired days, his happy days, and even his sad days. You felt lucky.

"Taeyong.." You reached out a hand to put over his fumbling ones. "You're brilliant at what you do. Not many people can even do what you do on a daily basis. You lose sleep over all of this. That's dedication. That's having absolute love for what you do. There are always going to be a collective set of people that won't like what you put out either because it ends up not being their taste or simply because they may not like you personally for whatever the reason, but those aren't your audience. You don't have to worry about those people. Your fans? Those that actually appreciate what you do, and love it? They're your only audience. That's your aim. Also," you smiled. "-it's okay to get stuck sometimes. Book authors get writer's block all the time. They stop for about two weeks, then come right back at it again. You're not a superhero, Taeyong. You're human. You can't always do it all. I know you want to, but you simply can’t. Just know that I’m very proud of you for what you’ve done thus far. I really am.”

Taeyong sat there, looked in your eyes, and soaked up every word. His heart could've exploded right then and there. He loved that about you. Your utter support for him was more than enough to always get him right back on track. He appreciated you so much for it. He was grateful to have you in his life, even if he had a bit of trouble saying it. It made him happy to just know that you would always be there for him no matter what. You, his constant. He couldn't have felt any luckier.

"Thank you," he said softly, and took your hands in his, squeezing them gently. "I mean it, thank you for that. You always know what to say."

Your heart felt warm. If only he knew how you truly felt about him. Why you always got so defensive when it came to him doubting himself or worrying about whether people actually liked him. You wanted to tell him that none of that mattered above how you felt. That you’d always be there to support him.

It was hard to continue as if you only saw him as a friend. He made it so hard sometimes. A kiss to the cheek here, and hugs that lasted way too long. There would be moments where you’d ramble on and on about something, but caught him staring at your lips the entire time. As if he hadn’t listened to a word that you had said. Moments like he wanted to know what you’d do if he kissed you right then. Taeyong was quite easy to read. Especially for you. He was never able to hide anything from you. You could catch on easily.

You wondered when you would get the courage to tell him how you felt. Where your true feelings lain. His possible reaction to your confession still scared you enough to hold back, and resist telling him. To lose the friendship you two had, that scared you enough to want to never truly tell him how you felt.

“Ah, so,” Taeyong began as he turned back to screen in front of him. “I think I could use your input on some lyrics here. If they’re good enough, I might actually add them.” He gave you a wink. You couldn’t help but giggle as you drew closer to see the screen as well.

“What? Will I get credited on the album as well if my input happens to be good enough?” You asked, teasingly.

Taeyong shrugged, smiling. “Possibly. Wanna find out?”

You rose a curious eyebrow. “How can I say no to you?”

He laughed before smirking. “Easy. Just say n...n...oooo,” he taunted playfully as you slapped his arm, shaking your head.

There was no way that you could’ve thrown everything between you two away. What you two had was comfortable, and settling. You liked things the way that they were. You definitely could hold onto that confession a little longer.