#there is a lot of gw dunking (for good reason) but i do also think that gw had its moments and those moments were STRONG & wanna know what

[ronanlynchbf]

<33 i swear i didn't Completely hate greywaren so..

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW23

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diego Rico

IN: Jack Stephens

I feel naked and alone without my Spanish lover Rico in my team anymore but it simply had to be so. I'm floating a transfer again this week and just doing a move to give me another cheapo defender who I can rotate. As shouted on the pod at 4.3 Jack seems like a good piece to have at the back until WC with their fixtures and strong underlying defensive numbers. There were certainly other more flair moves I could do but with two Livp in I am valuing the flexibility afforded with two frees ahead of their double to make a final decision about who to get in as the third and who to remove as well.

GK:

Schmeichel (bur)

Woodman the eternal continues to never let me down the legend.

Schmike, on the other hand, suddenly finds himself positioned between a goal frame, a sieve, and the enemy. Still too early to tell if no Ndidi just means they are diabolical but Burnley have been among the worst attacks in the division recently and no Smashley kinda fucks up their balance a lot.

Could see them snap back into form and just dispatch these in an easy win to nil. Hoping for it, anyway.

DEF:

Pereira (bur)

Somehow I still have Periera. He's been by far by farrrrr my worst transfer of the season but I always seem to find a reason to hold on to him and start him. It seems extremely unlikely he is in past this weekend so maybe he'll give me a farewell gift.

Alexander-Arnold (MUN)

Trent goes again nothing to say about that. Only guy I've had since GW1...well other than Woodman of course that sweet boy.

Stephens (WOL)

Jack new friend is put straight into the fire with home Wolves. Not a good on paper fixture but I could kinda see a clean here? Maybe? Not an ideal start, but he's the best option I have and when weighing him up against the other 4.4 defenders and under it looked like his near term fixtures were the best in how he can rotate with what else I've got.

Lundstram (ars)

Lastly is Pointstram.

Another not too great feeling start but also not too bad without Aubz.

Hard to imagine where an Arsecast goal can come from other than a p3p3ga set piece banger or something like this. Don't really feel like Wilder will have any trouble marking Laca out of the game. Pointstram also eye test wise looked a lot more involved in their attack last game so maybe that is a sign of things to come.

MID:

Martial (liv)

Unfortunately I'm going to have to eat a Tony M start here at Anfield. Feels not good but I still like him as a medium term hold despite the mixed fixtures.

Still don't really have any confidence that I know what a "good" fixture is for United attack anyway so I'm just blindly following the mantra of he's playing OOP striker on a top six team so he's a hold.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Kevin up against my boys this weekend we'll see if he's at DM or not. Don't really care though, honestly.

Salah (MUN)

Third mid is Mo. Good lad.

FWD:

Maupay (AVL)

Is this the weekend of Neal? Please Neal be a good Neal one time my son.

Scenic fixture...time to capitalize...or take 1 shot and blank again as per.

I want Neal to give me a sign of life so badly because I would really still like to hold him for the near term through these fixtures. Big game for him and I'll be watching him closely.

Vardy (bur)

Vardz still in there. Whatever.

Agüero (CRY)

Kun off his monster haul good job by Kun love Kun so much.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Sticking with Vardz as shouted on the pod.

I've really not gone to the Vardy cap well too often this season but he just seems like a very strong option against a really bad team with two really bad CBs and a really bad GK. I'd honestly be surprised if he doesn't double return.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

When in doubt float your fuckin’ transfer...

I had a really brutal week and especially today, Friday, long and tough day.

No idea what I want to do but having two frees and a boatload of cash for next week seems really fun / good.

I’ll probably get rocked in the Cup this week by fuckin Wiscker by just rolling the same crew out again after last week’s bloodbath but maybe with my two frees and a pocket full of change I can roar back in the final two group matches and go through... It works out in my head at least...

GK:

Ryan (AVL)

Great fixture and a great fixture run so come on Mat gimme some points.

DEF:

van Dijk (MUN)

Everything says that this should be an easy Liverpool win and an easy Liverpool clean but who knows it’s still a derby...

United are absolutely terrible on set plays they have conceded the third most in the league and Liverpool have scored the tied for second most int he league so make of that what you will... VVDue? VVDong?

Söyüncü (bur)

Hoping for a Soy redemption song this week after that very sloppy mess of a match lass week... Burnley are very much there for the taking so go on SoyBoy.

Lundstram (ars)

I sleeper think that this is a great fixture... ok maybe great is an exaggeration because it’s not a ~banker~ but with how Arsenal’s been playing lately - very few shots and not much xG or sustained attack - plus no Aubz it just seems very cleanable and winnable for Sheff U from where I’m sitting. 

MID:

Salah (MUN)

Funny cheeky little interview he gave. Mo’s a good guy.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Easy keep.

Maddison (bur)

Time for a bounce-back from Leicester no fucking around. Maddo was such a steady tick merchant for me back in the good ole days I just want to taste that success again.

Sarr (tot)

Not a good fixture but definitely not a bad one either.

Sarr and Watty have been looking fabulous and will cause Spurs tons of problems for me.

Cantwell (BOU)

Lastly going for Big Todd Energy over Jiménez this week (feel free to thank me Jim owners) becaaaauuuuuseeeee just I don’t know gut feeling and shit.

Jim has been an extremely upsetting transfer in for me and I shouted Wolves being tired and bad and then they go out and lose to Man. Utd. in the cup with Jim playing the full 90′.

Also Jim has away Southampton which is now a really rough fixture so whatever I’m going for it here... Todd should fuck Eddie’s Bourney.

FWD:

Only the two FWDs for me this week since I’m benching Jimboy.

Vardy (bur)

Another in my triple leicester to bounce back -- what a chance for it !

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

I still believe in DCL and I had to defend the pick a little bit here and there this week and honestly it just made me feel better about it. And the fixture is fantastic. DCL gonna bang.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Just don’t really have another option who I think is nearly as good a cap. pick as Vardz is this week and it’s as simple as that...

If it’s close then maybe you go differential cap but if it’s not close I think you just cap the guy who everyone else is capping. Here we are.

Soz for a not exciting Lambs from me this week lol.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: dave (group 19)

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

DISCLAIMER: I AM VERY BAD AT FPL AND YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY!

Fun fact: I was the person who suggested random slacker lambs earlier in the season to the pod bois. That was a time when my team was ticking along and I was optimistic about rising up the ranks over the course of the season.

Now I am in the depths of darkness and have zero expectations for my team other than red arrows and I am bad and shit at FPL and you shouldn’t even bother reading this because I’m shit. Unless you want to feel better about yourself, that is (I’m 1.5m so if you’re lower than that then I’m truly sorry – you’ll probably overtake me soon).

At least I have the FML FPL Cup to focus all my energy on. Speaking of which...

To my opponent this week, Rob, and the rest of Group 19, Jon and Max: Fuck you. I’m going to destroy you. I don’t care about my OR anymore. This is all that matters to me. (Jk prob will get 0 points and crash out in the group stage – good luck lads).

OUT: Serge Aurier

IN: Lewis Dunk

I have 2FTs but I’m just going for a fairly passive and hopefully more sensible move. When Mou became Spuds’ manager I had hopes that the defence would significantly improve (I even doubled up on their defence – oops), but alas they are still shipping goals for fun and now the child Tanganga is in the mix potentially threatening Aurier’s minutes after a decent right back performance mid-week. So just fucking him off to a similarly priced guy with good fixtures for the foreseeable future, on a team that actually appears to be capable of keeping the occasional clean sheet.

Going to roll the other FT to give me a little more flexibility next GW to increase my share of Liverpool players to at least 2. Probably will take a hit to get up to 3.

GK:

Guaita (mci)

Probably the worst fixture of the season for a defender or GK; City have several potent, in-form attacking options and could easily put up 4 or 5 (albeit Palace have been fairly solid for large portions of the season).

Just hoping Victor Vincente can pick up some some save points, a Kun pen save or two would be very welcome as a non-owner…

DEF:

Dunk (AVL)

Brighton looking very good this season generally under Graham Potter and cleaning the odd game here and there. Decent chance for one against an out of sorts Villa. Go on new friend Lewis.

Söyüncü (bur)

Soyboy has been a staple of my team for quite some time. Leicester always a shout for a clean. However, Burnley are one of those teams where I can never predict how they’re going to perform week to week, so I’m not banking on a clean by any means.

Sidibe (whu)

Difficult to predict how this one will go as West Ham are still a bit of an unknown quantity to me under new / old manager Moyseh.

Sidibe is the guy I’ll likely transition into a Liverpool defender next week but maybe he gets another go at RW this week with Richarlison confirmed out. Would be nice to get some OOP attacking farewell returns from him.

MID:

De Bruyne and Sterling (CRY)

Should just be a fuckfest for City (soz Walsh). Raz getting fairly frustrating to own but I’m keeping the faith for now.

Mané (MUN)

Another one of those games that you never know what to expect. Even while United were the dominant English team and Liverpool were complete piss, they always seemed to be able to show up for this match and up results. Could the shoe be on the other foot now? After all Utd are the only team Liverpool haven’t beaten so far this season in the PL. But I digress. Mane is obviously an auto-start in any fixture and Liverpool are the clear favourites in this one for good reason.

Maddison (bur)

He’s an absolute cunt imo. Very punchable face too. But he has undoubtedly been a very good FPL pick this season thus far. So go on James.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

2 blanks on the trot but I’m not too worried. Still think he’s great, Carlo loves him and the price is right.

Abraham (new)

Tammy back in the points lately so feels fine to hold for now. Fixtures turning to shit imminently so possibly one to monitor and maybe move on soon.

Vardy (bur)

Earlier in the season I was looking at Vardy’s stats vs. goals/assists output; I convinced myself it was unsustainable and that he would “revert to the mean” (that’s something us wankers who have no fucking clue about how underlying stats translate into FPL points say to kid ourselves that we know what we’re talking about).

It’s now clear that he is just a guy who you hold indefinitely because his points continue to roll in week after week after week.

CAP:

Sterling (CRY)

Call me an idiot.

Call me a glutton for punishment.

I capped Raz last week thinking he might just be a stroke of genius differential pick. Needless to say, that went poorly (0 mins with DCL VC, RIP). But fuck it. He goes again. I love Raz. Raz is great. He’s due – isn’t he?

Ultimately I’m just a guy who wants to get some fucking points on the board. Wish me luck.

[diegrootkrokodil]

The Russell Report - UR Gifts Storm - 27th at GP Birmingham

Although it has been a bit late coming, I have finally got around to writing a report from my Top 32 12-3 finish at GP Birmingham earlier this year. I had started out 8-1 and managed to run moderately well Day 2 to cash my first event and make a good start to the Pro season for 2017/8. 

Although it has been a bit late coming, I have finally got around to writing a report from my Top 32 12-3 finish at GP Birmingham earlier this year. I had started out 8-1 and managed to run moderately well Day 2 to cash my first event and make a good start to the Pro season for 2017/8.

Background

Prior to the event I had managed to roundly 2-3 two MTGO Competitive leagues and go 3-1 at a friendly mid-week paper event down at Dark Sphere in London. Although my results were far from stellar, I more or less understood why I was losing games and was making steady progress to knowing how the deck is supposed to play. My closest corollary thus far in Modern is UG Infect.

Infect requires you to be able to do two things; the first is a tight balance of composed and patient play, amassing a critical number of cards and forcing through the win over a long and drawn out game. The other is having a good read for the situation and knowing when to go “all in” on a turn and be stone dead if they have the right card, with the prize usually being winning the game on the spot. Storm more or less plays the same way, with the debate on playing a turn 2 cost reducer usually being matchup dependent and/or how critical the Baral/ Electromancer is to your ability to win.

Why Storm?

Having established that I wasn’t doing very well in my initial testing, you might very well be wondering what ponderous set of decisions led me to registering what most people consider to be a challenging deck to play at a GP. Well, let me reveal a little secret to you about Storm in Modern: it isn’t that hard to play.

While I don’t put it into the category of Titanshift or EldraziTron which both genuinely have very few meaningful decisions and whilst the Storm deck has a lot of sequencing optimisations to consider, it really only requires you to be able to do basic maths and and count to something like 20. Or at least, I think that is true for the in game decisions, which are typically only truly interesting with the second Gifts pile you make. The “hard” decisions I believe are mostly made in sideboarding and mulliganing, where experience in the matchups comes to play an extremely important part of the decision making process. Many decks while sideboarding are not necessarily boarding into hate for your opponents sideboard cards. You are also typically not pivoting in a totally different way or even removing what might appear to be your slam dunk namesake card, something that is quite unintuitive to some players.

Storm is fundamentally good for the following reasons:

1. It has a reliable Turn 3 goldfish kill. Speed and consistency are everything in Modern, the format where dying on T4 is usually guaranteed.

2. It can kill on Turn 2 with the perfect hand using grapeshot and pseudo kill on Turn 2 /3 with goblins a greater percentage of the time. Even the bad matchups can sometimes be won, meaning that you’re never truly cold when you sit down to play.

3. The deck is very redundant with 8 cost reducers, 12 rituals and 8 cantrips. Most hands with a Bear, Cantrip and some Rituals are a keep.

4. Two colours and many basics means you take minimal damage from lands/ the coloured requirements are quite good. This allows us to sometimes play Blood Moon and register 3 basic islands in our deck.

5. Most decks don’t have good graveyard hate game 1, meaning that they have very few axis to interact with you on.

6. The opponent tilt value from playing storm.

The Event

Started 2-0 with byes, a critical aspect to success at Grand Prix.

R3 Titanshift 2-1

R4 Elves 2-0

R5 Eldrazi Tron 1-2

R6 GB Tron 2-1

R7 GW Company 2-1

R8 4C Shadow 2-1

R9 Jeskai Control 2-0

R10 Bant Eldrazi 0-2

R11 Eldrazi Tron 2-1

R12 Abzan Coco 1-2

R13 Abzan Midrange

R14 Eldrazi Tron 2-0

R15 Burn 2-0

My List

Maindeck

4 Baral, Chief of Compliance 4 Desperate Ritual 1 Empty the Warrens 3 Misty Rainforest 4 Gifts Ungiven 4 Goblin Electromancer 3 Grapeshot 3 Island 4 Manamorphose 1 Mountain 2 Past in Flames 4 Pyretic Ritual 4 Remand 4 Scalding Tarn 4 Serum Visions 4 Sleight of Hand 4 Spirebluff Canal 3 Steam Vents

Sideboard

1 Negate 2 Dismember 2 Dispel 1 Echoing Truth 2 Empty the Warrens 3 Lightning Bolt 2 Pieces of the Puzzle 2 Shattering Spree

There are a few rules in Modern and one of the main ones is that you have to be as proactive as possible. The inherent variance of the format mostly comes in your match-ups which means that you often have lost the round when you sit down to play. A good example of this is Titanshift against most fair green midrange decks. As the fair deck you are something like sub 20% to curve out and kill them fast enough before the inevitable Primeval Titan or Scapeshift kills you all whilst you are busy durdling about.

Storm bucks this trend and has the ability to more or less win against anyone given that you have the speed and resiliency necessary to beat even your tough matchups. Landing a turn 2 Baral or Goblin Electromancer puts them to the test immediately and usually means they have to respect the possibility of dying the next turn.

My Sideboarding Guide

Storm is the kind of deck where sideboarding is very important to get right, as you aren’t bringing in your generic haymakers and the rest of the maindeck is a finely tuned engine meaning you can’t start cannibalising all the parts whilst still expecting it to function.

Without further ado:

Grind through their heavy removal and kill with Goblins matchups (Abzan, Jund, Grixis Death’s Shadow etc.)

The philosophy here is to transition to a more value orientated deck that is probably not going to go off early and instead try to slog through their removal. You can pivot your win condition from Grapeshot to Empty the Warrens and make their spot removal suffer as you offer them a paucity of good targets. Lightning Bolt and Fatal Push don’t line up very well to lots of Goblins and you can usually hold onto the mana bear until such time where it is actually useful in play. Do not run them out into certain death for no value, you must be a patient Peter.

Pieces is great against graveyard hate and lets you dig for the right pieces whilst also filling up the yard for future Past in Flames. Empty is the backup win condition and is generally quite hard to beat for these sort of spot removal heavy creature decks. I personally like Dismember against the Angler/ Tasigur/ Goyf decks as a way to stop you randomly dying to creature beats. I might cut these on the play in favour of leaving in a few Remands, especially against the Delve threats or sweepers.

Cutting gifts might not seem very intuitive but as many decks board into Leyline of the Void, Rest in Peace or Surgical Extraction you are usually incentivised to reduce your vulnerability to those cards. The third Grapeshot is less essential given the newly diversified threat base and Remand isn’t very good at stopping the cards we really care about in these matchups (it also sucks against Inquisition or Thoughtseize).

-          + 2 Pieces of the Puzzle

-          +2 Empty the Warrens

-          +2 Dismember

-          - 4 Remand

-          - 1 Grapeshot

-          - 1 Gifts Ungiven

Kill them as fast as possible matchups (Burn, Tron, Affinty, Titanshift, Elves, Ad Nauseum, and Infect etc.)

Other combo decks frequently feature Artifacts that we care about. Even Titanshift will usually board into a mix of Relic of Progenitus, Grafdigger’s Cage or Chalice of the Void. We are really looking to go as fast as possible and try to race them, which usually means not playing around things too much apart from stuff we cannot beat or want to try and head off. Most of these decks also don’t have a plethora of removal for our bears, which means that we can often keep hands with only one and even board down to 6 in favour of more meaningful interaction such as Shattering Spree or Echoing Truth. The plan is to be prepared for their interaction and also prepared to beat them on a slightly different axis. Having access to lightning bolts against decks like Infect, Elves and Affinity allows us to win on the draw and slow down their fastest possible starts. Often T3 with no interaction on the draw against Affinity spells doom. Burn is sometimes called an unwinnable matchup, which is usually true in the face of an Eidolon game 1, but is quite beatable in post board games. Lean on your bolts and be careful using them. That Goblin Guide might kill us in the long run, but if you can’t take an Eidolon off the table then it’s game over my friend.

-          + 2 Shattering Spree

-          + 3 Lightning Bolts

-          +1 Echoing Truth

-          - 2 Electromancer

-          -1 Empty the Warrens

-          - 2 Remand

-          -1 Gifts Ungiven

Patience and knowledge of the stack matchups (UW, UWR Control etc.)

The name of the game here is once again becoming patient Peter and forcing them to interact on one of their main choke points, which is usually either mana or cards. What this means practically is waiting, playing out land and then finally going over the top of their counter magic using our Remands (which are great on our own spells) and making use of Past in Flames / Gifts to grind them out of cards over the course of a longer game. Spell Queller can be a pain, so be careful not to walk into that one. I typically find this matchup to be favourable if you don’t run Gifts or another crucial spell into counter magic for no gain.

N.B. This is not an exact guide but more following general themes. Please do not bring in Shattering Spree against Elves or Lightning Bolt against Titanshift.

A quick matchup rundown of the Top 10 decks on MTG Goldfish:

Storm: It’s the mirror. Don’t mess up.

Affinity: Great for you on the play, still probably favoured on the draw.

Jeskai Tempo: Moderately favoured.

Eldrazi Tron: Draw dependent for them, probably a slight dog if they draw averagely.

Titanshift: The unlosable matchup.

GDS: Not good. Can storm them out if they go low enough. The critical mix of disruption, stubborn denial and removal makes this tough.

Tron: Moderately favoured.

Eldrazi and Taxes: The bears can help overcome Thalia, otherwise a moderate dog.

Burn: You’re going to die. Can maybe win if they don’t land Eidolon T2.

CoCo Decks: Favoured. They can’t usually interact with the combo Game 1 and Game 2 they are relying on a small list of cards to interact meaningfully (Eidolon of Rhetoric, for which we have Dismember/ Echoing Truth and precious little else).

A few more closing points regarding UR Gifts Storm:

1.       Try to play around graveyard hate by boarding into Pieces and away from Gifts/ PiF.

2.       Try not to expose yourself to Surgical Extraction if possible, this should be done by not putting your Grapeshots in the graveyard unless absolutely necessary. Try to draw them naturally if you suspect a Surgical. You can set up Gifts piles with cantrips and more Gifts to do this.

3.       The magic number for mana left over after a Gifts is 3. With 3 red mana they are dead and it doesn’t matter which two cards they put into your hand from the classic “ PiF, Desperate, Pyretic, Manamorphose” pile. You will always have enough to cast PiF and keep going off.

4.       Early Goblins can often do the trick, you need the stomach to go in hard on what can appear to be quite risky. Know when it is a good idea and when they are likely to just have a Ratchet Bomb to make your day go south quickly

5.       Shattering Spree is very good against Chalice. The copies can go through the trigger and blow up multiple annoying artifacts.

6.       Remanding your own Grapeshots is an easy way to generate more Storm without using the graveyard.

7.       Don’t forget your loots from Baral when countering spells. This is also a good reason to hold excess lands.

8.       The god hand is a Turn 2 kill. “Land, land, Baral, Desperate, Desperate, Manamorphose, Gifts” can often turn into a win if you draw a second ritual off a manamorphose or a cantrip you find along the way.

That’s all for now but I’ll be playing Storm in Madrid on one of the Mana Gaming Teams we send there for the team event. I’ve also been attempting to grind out a few wins with the deck in recent PPTQs to no notable success as yet.

Until next time:

Tom

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW22 - Happy New Year Edition

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

Extra long lambs this week because it’s a podless GW and I guess we have many things to say as well as many doubts. Ok here we go :)

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Lukaku GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY TEAM, Paul, and RLC

IN (For -4 points): Quaner, Alli, and Eriksen

The Jesus injury gave me some pause over the plan to go heavy on Spurs attack for the double but in the end decided meh fuck it. I can always go for Aguero after he plays Liverpool if it seems a prime thing to do. A little bit worried about City scoring for fun without Dilva and possibly without Kevin. My team would still have the same problem of being thin if I did go for Aguero in for Lukaku so am gonna restructure and get in there with a big move this week for the double.

Alli was automatic as I've been feeling how he's been looking lately. Eriksen v Son was a close one for me. Son explosive, but has the slight shout of being rested whereas Eriksen seems pretty nailed regardless. Going to go for the minutes play here. Little bit of nostalgia for me as well getting in Alli and Eriksen who were in my GW1 squad and did me well back in the day.

I am a bit worried about Quaner playing this GW but at this point I just want to get the cheapest guy possible and he seems a good first choice lad. Also feel like Huddy aren't the hugest shout to significantly reinforce in the transfer window in attack so hopefully he keeps it up.

I'm keeping Stephens over RLC for the simple reason that RLC could be knocked and miss out. Points this GW feels enough of a reason to keep Stephens over RLC. RLC looks like a really bad FPL pick with Benteke in and him playing in a more reserved role anyway so he's off. Had a couple of tidy returns for me so thanks bro but see you later.

GK:

Adrian goes. Woah. First non-Pope time at GK for me for a long fucking time. Feels weird but also good. DGW keeper always a good guy to have and WBA at home seems as good a clean shout as you can have at this moment. If he gets 8 or so points it would be very nice.

DEF:

Five at the back again for me. Triple Chelsea defense are in as per....Christensen, Azpil, and Moses....which much to my fucking nightmare was only 1 Chelsea defender in GW21 after Conte subbed Moses before 60'.... it’s their first difficult on paper fixture since I've gone with the treble. But, looking at how fucking shit Arsenal have been a clean doesn't seem that insane here.

Phil Jones god and legend of the baps is the most auto thing of life. Preached patience with United defense on the last pod and it came in straight away which was tidy. Everton are the worst attack possible so fuck them. Clean seems likely.

Last guy is the Dunk of Lewishire. Dunk and BHA defense has been a massive unheralded star of the FPL season for me and any of you who have been rotating a BHA defender for some time. They welcome the completely rudderless and injured to fuck Bournemouth side. Get in Lew my absolute son.

MID:

New old friends Alli the middle fingering diving cunt is back in alongside Eriksen. Not sure how long I'll keep, or who will get fucked off first, but Coutinho will be coming in soon for one of these lads. Just bought lottery tickets in Spurs attack and if they are able to put in between 5-7 goals over the two games I'll be absolutely BUOOZZINNNNN and also probably flying. Kill to fly, fly to kill.

Salah looks like he's a little bit dead, but since I bought him at 9m removing him was not even a small consideration. Will just have to rely on the bench if he doesn't go.

Finally, Raz is in and looks a dead cert for a start after not featuring today. Good guy Raz.

FWD:

Just the solitary Harold this GW. Standard 541 here at FMLFPL HQ nothing to see lads.

BENCH ORDER:

Quaner, Stephens, Niasse.

Bunch of lads. Who knows who will play and who will not play but I have three guys on the bench so getting a full team out looks very likely. Good job by me.

CAP:

TRIPLE CAP Kane.

It's time for me. I want to use the chip on Kane and the fixtures are as good as you can hope for. No assurances that Spurs will have another DGW and even though there is 1 day off between I am willing to take the risk using the chip this GW. It will allow me to pump the WC the week OF a future DGW instead of the week before which is pretty tidy and honestly I think we overrate the chips a LOT. Sure they are good, but it's not the end all be all of life.

I think illness whatever is dumb and I'm willing to risk that he will make it for both games. He's on fucking form and has just had a nice rest. Harry will Harry, triple cap will triple cap. Let's go Kane drink the nectar of the hat trick gods and keep pumping the goal with your jizzum.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Richarlison my love and Lejeune the fuck

IN (For my second -4 of the season): Arnie and Ogbonna

Are you not supposed to have a bevy around a recovering alcoholic? I’d imagine not. Or smoke fags around someone trying to quit? Probably poor form, that. But here we are. I’ve been enabled... :)

I took a hit, my first hit of the season last week, and it resulted in a net +6 points (including the -4) and a nice green arrow. MY BLOOD IS PUMPING IN THIS MOMENT!!!!!!!

Hit #2 quickly followed today and oo baby I’m feeling nice... My hands were shaking and I had the cold sweats with a beautiful woman in the nude calling out to me... but I slighted her and instead looked up West Ham defensive statistics and compared Arnie to Lanzini for a couple of hours and took the -4; the only thing that’s real...........!!!

Richar my beautiful Brazilian lover our fling has flung. Obrigado for the points mate but you have City and there’s a double gameweek on the cards. Two fixtures, albeit one of them bad vs. Spuds, and I just had to go for Arnie.

Lejeune being dead in what will be the most heavily rotated GW of the season with Salah already ruled out and RLC probably missing out lead me to the second transfer and the -4; I just needed some fucking guys. The upside is there to make up the -4 so I’m tagging along with everybody else and it leaves me with four doublers for the DGW which feels pretty nice. So let us go.

GK:

DDG and United up against the Eve feels like as easy a cleansheet fixture as you can get. Tidy 7 pointer from him last GW and faith restored.

DEF:

Kicking off with Jones up against the same blues of Eve should be easy workings. And you know he’s Phil Jones king of the fucking BONES. 9 pointer what else is new. Good to have you back Philip.

Otamendi straight the fuck in last week with an 8 pointer as he seems to do every week. Took the shittiest ass pen from Milivojevic but I will happily cash those points in. Ota such a great pick - maybe a double up on the way soon with Stoner. Would make a lot of sense to not keep clean here with like a Richarlison brace or something since I transferred him out but ya know, whatever.

Christensen I have starting but who knows if Conte will follow suit. No one knows a thing about Christensen our Chelsea darling boy and if he can find a way into the 11 but we can hope. He’s top quality but blah - it’s concerning - getting another Chelsea defensive asset is at least 1 million away so it’s fucking hard to do. Come on BOD get in there bro. I don’t care it’s Arsecast, you start Chelsea defenders confidently in all fixtures. That’s how they do it.

Lastly new lad Ogbanzo beans should go twice for me. If they clean against West Brom will just be suuuuuch a huge boost of life. If he’s on 2 or less points going into Spurs will feel sad and bad. Meh. Never know. Two bites of the apple get me something Oggy.

MID:

Gonna start with the man the myth the Egyptian fucking god legend Momo Salah. He’s in - of course he’s in would be foolish and disrespectful to bench him - but Klopp has ruled him out for 2ish weeks which is a bummer. So he’ll probably be back for Man. City but we’ll get more autosubs in this week. At the end of Lambs we’ll each post our benches too since it’s going to be rotational hell.

Raz goes straight in Home Watford sexual fixture on the table - didn’t start earlier today so should be in vs. Watford and hauling as usual. Although we’ll see how good/bad City’s attack looks with no Kev and no Daveed (who knows with Daveed).

SUON my Korean boo, my differential treater, been a huge part of my run of greens these Heung-Min points. Got a double fixture on the cards for this GW and I’m just hoping for a combined more then 90 minutes - that’s all we can realistically hope for. And he’s been fantastic. Love him. Should bring in some points.

And Arnie the new guy in the squad. Scary to transfer in a guy who you might want to transfer out very very soon - never feels quite right - but he’s got a double this week and is bang on form starting OOP up top. Lots of shots and big chances and creating shit and touches in the box - TIT ME ARNOLD ARNAUTOVIC!

FWD:

Two guys leading the line in this moment. Alvy Morata the absolute shit-house I don’t know how fucking hungover he must’ve been to not get anything in a 5-0 thrashing but fucking hell. At least I didn’t cap him and avoid that nightmare but I still rate him - but it’s troubling. He might have to go soon. For now I’m just chilling he’s still a good pick and nailed and whatever. Arsecast can’t defend much.

The other guy is Lord Harold of Kane. He’s an absolute must this week - the most must of any guy in any week that I can remember. He was sick a few days ago he’s probably fucking fine. Maybe I’ll be awake until 5-6am and see some sort of additional news but even without the news I think Kane is fine. I expect somewhere around 150 minutes from him this GW and with those fucking fixtures that is pretty insane to think that he will not at least double return... I mean no one is guaranteed points but fucking hell Harold is a great horse to bet on.

BENCH ORDER:

I’m sat on Duffy, Quaner, RLC in this moment.

RLC is a problem and think he should be third on most benches. Duffy good shout at a clean probably coming in for Mo and then Quaner likely to get some minutes even he doesn’t start for a one point cameo if anyone else is rested/rotated in my team. Feels fine.

CAP:

DON’T YOU MEAN..... TRIPLE CAP!?!?!!?!??!?! OOKKKKKKKK LET’S FUCKKKKKKKK IT’S ON BABABYBABBBABABABY!!!!!!!

You already fucking know. Kane the most nailed cap of any life but Triple Cap - I’m going there - fuck it. I’m here I’m there...

Earlier today I really wasn’t feeling good about the triple cap - mostly just apprehension that everything is coming too fast and I’m gonna fuck something up. It’s been a crazy festive period and I’m just like ok, I need to chill, the green arrows are flowing, I just need to fucking chill.... But fuck that shit.

I struggle to come up with any STRONG arguments to NOT triple cap Kane and that’s where we’re left. The only two arguments to not triple cap Kane are:

1. Only one day off between fixtures - can he really play significant minutes in both with one day off.

2. Illness gate / yellow flag / no news.

But those are fucking REEEAAAALLLY weak arguments for me. Illness gate I mean that was a few days ago now. He’s probably fucking fine and not sick anymore like an asshole - and he has Monday off as well to rest up. And speaking of rest up I think he’ll just have to play 70ish in both (maybe more if they’re not winning) and tough it out because he’s not a fucking baby he’s a fucking man. And he’s resting now and he’ll rest after.

The arguments FOR triple capping him in my opinion are pretty overwhelming. Best guy, check, incredible form, check, most important player for the team, check, on pens, check, exceptional fixtures, check... What more do you want? Goal involvement, check, mouth breather, check, childhood GOONA, check, one season wonder, check, golden boot merchant, check.

LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW18

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: BOB

IN: ROM

It's time to go back to the Rom well. I'm sick of Bob. He's being rotated too much and now that he is confirmed off pens his stats don't fill me with confidence that he is worth holding. I've managed to rejigger my team a bit to afford a big upgrade to Lukaku and I think it's a good time to buy the big donkey and welcome him back into the fold. The non-celebration on his goal got me feeling good as he just looked fucking pissed off to have been so shit. He knows he's been shit and with a pretty kind run of fixtures plus Paul back soon I think he'll be a steady returner of points. He is also a pretty decent differential in the top 100k so I'll take that for however long it will remain. I do expect him to making his way into more sides over the next handful of GWs so it feels like a good time to jump back a little early. I know I have given the boy a lot of shit on the pod but as shouted he's a flat track bully and the fixture run right now is good. Welcome back my son.

GK:

Pope. Standard legend. Have been seeing a lot ruing the fact they got Courtois in over him and shit like this. Been saying it forever, and it's a little skewed now that Pope has gone up a bit, but he's just Heaton version 2.0. It took us all far too long last season to realize that Heaton was the best value keeper in the game and the same thing is happening with Pope. I don't really know why. The fixtures get a bit trickier soon with top sides incoming as well as their easy games coming away but for Pope with save points it doesn't really matter to me. If anything, it makes him over a defender that much better. I think they will keep a couple of surprise cleans against top sides and he'll keep getting points. It is also a huge boon that he is nailed on for bonus points in any clean sheet they keep. Pope fucking in.

DEF:

WOWw lads. It is a proper christmas tree formation for me this week as actual day of christmas approaches. I don't think I've ever willingly started this formation in my FPL career so it's a weekend of firsts for squad walsh. The alignment of timing with the holiday so near gives me good juju. Triple Chelsea defense roll out again with Christensen, Azpil, and Moses. Will always be a tad nervous with Moses with Zappa lurking so I hope rotation doesn't get me. Obviously losing the clean against Huddy in the last fucking action of the game didn't get my dick hard but I'm still sitting here with the long term play in mind. Cleans will come, right? Fucking hope so. Southampton suck, so let's fucking go.

The God Phil of Jones is another auto start for me for the foreseeable future. Of course slightly concerned he may be rested with only a few days off but probably not because he's the only thing that keeps clean sheets for United. Everyone starting to go back to the Phil well since he's also fairly nailed on baps with every clean. He's just great. CBI monster.

Finally, I'm starting Lewis Dunk this weekend home Burnley. It was a close call between him and RLC but I'm feeling a better chance of a Brighton clean than a RLC return. Dunk also carries his share of goal threat...he's gotta get one eventually...and if that comes when I'm starting him the satisfaction would be off the charts. Burnley still not really creating loads...and while they do seem to score one goal per game we'll see. Don't feel THAT confident in a clean here but worth the gamble considering my other options.

MID:

Three friends this weekend. The two City lads Dilva and Raz are stuck in. They propelled me last GW and they've been so fucking good for me and having patience rewarded feels nice. Good friends.

Rounding out the group is Salah. Obv. Nothing to see here. Could be rested, possibly, but with pressure on for points it feels unlikely.

FWD:

Kane and Rom. Couple of good guys. Kane 10 shots and 3 chances created last week sums up his season. The underlying stats are off the page but he is blanking a lot. Meh. He goes nowhere.

CAP:

Lukaku. Not really close for me and a huge diff here. Seeing a lot of Hazard shouts this weekend (when will we learn?) but I don't have him so fucking fuck him. West Brom are proper shit and I kinda love Rom going back to his old familiar stomping ground where he had so much joy back in the day to do it. WBA is only a matter of time before they get completely done and I think United are a real shout for 4 goals this weekend or something around there. Wish Paul would be back but meh. Salah is a fine shout, but idk. Not feeling him for some reason. I'm not comfortable at all capping Kane against City so not really looking at him. Pretty excited about Rom this weekend so hope he bangs. If he manages to donk in a double return I'd be absolutely flying so let's fucking go. Cheeky extra day of rest for United with three days off between games also feels like a nice cherry on top of the feather in his cap.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Vert

IN: Jones

Jones out GW15 and Jones back in GW18 such is life.

He’s the by far the best value pick of any player in all of FPL. Need I say more? GW1 darling of mine. Welcome back. Feels good again to double up on United Mou cleans (double with de Gea for me) and I expect a ton of points to follow...

Vert left me with a clean, the best thing he’s done for me by far... Break-up sex in for a 6 pointer. I’m down. One last fuck IN :).

GK:

The aforementioned DDG in for the foreseeable rest of season. The stress free pick.

DEF:

All of a sudden my defense is good. I addressed it with good transfers -- GW14 Christensen in, GW15 Tarkowski in, and now GW18 Jones in. And those are my three going this week.

Christensen and Chelsea what can be said. They should be keeping cleans in all of these... I got lucky with the Christensen sub last week. I’m not worried at all.

Tark sorry I benched you that one week and missed a clean I’ve learned my lesson. Go with Ginger Mourinho and the cleans will follow. Easy pick. Escaping death thus far in a very dead Burnley backline.

And Jones yeah. Best most fucked up face and best value. Check and check.

MID:

Back in a 3-4-3 almost feels weird even though I’ve spent the majority of sixish seasons of FPL on it. But here we are. Feels good to have RLC off the bench and no longer a starter.

Let’s begin with Salah since everyone has him and he’s god and there’s nothing to say. Maybe he’ll be rested who knows...

Next we have Daveeeed the cock goblin genius legend. Also kind of not much to say. What a call back in preseason by Walshy just nailing it on the head. And then props to both Daveed and Pep for adapting / changing / progressing his game. He looks a new lad. Fresh new 31 year old on the scene.

Rounding out the midfield we got two guys who I have no idea what to expect from with Son always at risk of sub 20 minutes and Richarlison coming off of fatigue/groin shit who knows -- it seems to me a good time to rest him but they also could really use some points and he’s their best player. No clue. Both are dice rolls - but dice rolls with high ceilings. So maybe I’ll get something lucky.

FWD:

Up top we got Kane, Morata, Chaz Austin.

Chaz I was thiiiiis close to benching for Duffy (home Burnley) but Brighton have been fucking bad and Chaz is so good. What was I thinking about? Chaz is fucking great. And if he starts / plays a bunch of minutes (big IF) I expect him to score vs. anyone, honestly, I do.

Kane is auto.

And Morata Conte says is fine today so hopefully he’s also fine tomorrow and can properly get it in there. Just get in bro. Don’t fall over and be the bag of dicks that I know you are. Let’s go dude.

CAP:

I’m on Kane for now. My gut tells me that this City defense can be got at on the counter. I see like a 2-2 or 3-2 kind of game in the cards with Spurs giving them their toughest test of the season. This could change. It’s a TBD. Maybe I keep it simple and go Salah but I’m not sure. Spurs have been titting their big matches this season so maybe it’ll continue.. But the lads in Slack are pushing for DDG captain and everyone is fucking mad at me for being slow with Lineup Lambs so here we are. Gl hf.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW13

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

After much deliberating, I'm going to just save and hold Jones. Realistically the best replacement I could find is Mustafi (can afford only up to 5.5) with Christensen against Pool seems a worthless switch, but, I don't like Mustafi enough to feel really happy about locking him in as a premium defender in my team. It also looks like Vardy needs to be sorted and doing that with one free doesn't feel great. A free swap to Mustafi this week would likely lead to a hit next week. I'd rather wait and potentially not hit. I either would like to upgrade Vardy or downgrade him and in either scenario I'd like two frees. Maybe go 352 with Alonso....maybe get Morata...some shit like this could be on the cards next week. I still have a full team to run out this weekend, and even though the defensive fixtures are not good, I've got a full team so saving seems fine.

GK:

Pope goes. Hoping for a 4 pointer or something...don't see a clean but saves will surely be on. Who knows, maybe they do clean. Stranger things have happened and this is the sort that Arsenal could struggle against.

DEF:

Woof. If I get 6 points out of my 3 defenders this week I'll consider myself extremely fortunate. Frustrating with Jones and Franno having excellent fixtures on the bench....not by mistake....but fuck them both. Forces me to start some pieces of shit this weekend. Ugh. Not a good way to set the table, but here we are.

Naughton has a good fixture and I'm hoping that Clement fucking figures some shit out and has them going again. But Swansea have been fucking shit lately so it wouldn't surprise me to see them getting done. Either way, the fixture is good on paper so hopefully Swansea wake up.

SWard I am forced to send out there. 2 points would be dreams. So too with Dunk. Not great, but the lads are stuck. Maybe this will be the weekend he bangs a dong off his face.

MID:

Triple City guys go again, Raz, Dilva, and Sane. This is my 3rd GW running with them and so far they've gotten me 16 and 12 points in weeks one and two. Not pulling up any trees but not horrible. They have been missing some fucking biggggg chances though so hauls are just around the corner. Huddersfield are the sort that they could conceivably put at least 5 in so maybe they will carry me this weekend. I am pretty nervous about Sterling starting though after he played 90 in UCL. He's a little fit boy and he scored the winner on an atypically nice goal so hopefully he gets back in there.

Finally Salah goes. Nothing to say there. Legend.

FWD:

Kane...fucker..come on lad.

Vardy probably farewell game for me this weekend / today against Moyes' merry band of fuckwits. Doesn't seem advisable to hold him for the Spurs match, and while he's been close to returns the last couple, he's the main "problem" spot on my team. Will see which way the wind blows this weekend and then figure out what to do with the lad.

Finally, UCL master champion of the world Bobby Firm goes again. The sick fuck keeps putting these teams to the sword in group stage and then putting up damp squibs in the League. Either way, I love him and he's a very comfortable hold so long as he's fit. Poor fixture this weekend but a nice run incoming. He was very close to a huge haul against Soton last weekend and having him in place with Pool looking back to normal with Mane and Cout in feels fantastic. I think they are by far the 2nd best attack in the league to City and will begin to show it.

CAP:

I'm jilting Kane (vice) and going with Leroy this weekend. The rest in UCL really did it for me and although he hasn't been shooting much last couple as discussed on the pod I'm just going to throw blind dice into the mixer and hope it doesn't come up snake eyes. If there is a game that could go 6-0 this weekend it is the City game. Huddy have banged on about it week after week - they don't park. City should rip them to shreds with space available and I'm just hoping Sane is well involved. I have read this script before though - and I fully expect Kane to come in since I've gone off him. Feels like that is how this game works so fuck me. Don't really think there will be a new manager bounce with old fuck Megson in charge for WBA but they will still be well parked. Could be 1-0...could be 3-0. I really don't know, and for this reason, I'm on Sane. Give me the best player rested midweek in a bankable crooked scoreline over the question marks surrounding Kane against a bus at Wembley all day. I look forward to seeing shit all over my face on twitter / reddit / wherever the fuck after you were on Kane all week and then switched to Sane after reading lambs. Fuck you. But not really fuck you, I love you. You, reader. You. 

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Toby

IN: Vert

The original plan was to get Vert over Toby from the jump but Walsh convinced me otherwise the dirty fucker. Then my kiss of death aptly killed Toby and here we are. Fate maybe exists. Maybe there really is just one person on this planet FPL who we’re meant to be with and mine is Vert. Ok sure.

Anyway I dilly-dallyed on other guys, Mustafi being a prime target, and Otamendi ahead of him. It felt very cheeky / clever to jump right onto Ota after his suspension after so many left him, because City are that good I just want all of them immediately, best team in the league by far.

Getting in Ota though means I would’ve also had to drop Kun, which got sticky, probably meant I’d make three moves and take a -4 to bring in Vert, Ota, and Morata/Lukaku for Toby, Phil Jones, and Kun. Seems fiiiiiiiiine... But I don’t want Rom. Straight up just don’t want the fucker. He’s good, he’s a good pick, he’s steady-Eddie as Walsh nicknamed him but listen they score 4 vs. capitulating Newcastle but then get held by Basel. This is the thing - I still think they’re mostly shit at attacking. So that, plus they have two good fixtures followed by Arsenal and City where I think you easily chalk up Manure to 0 goals or maximum 1 goal in each of those and I don’t want Rom again - as covered on pod.

Morata on the other hand is a much better player for me and has a fixture run of dreams. I just don’t think that it’s worth -4 to bring him in for a bad fixture. I’d rather keep the four points and roll the dice on Kun playing this weekend in what should be a 4, 5, 6+ to nill against Huddy. If the Pep is strong with me then Kun starts and Kun hats. And I fly. So here we are...

GK:

DDG home to Brighton. I know no Phil no party no clean but come the fuck on it’s Brighton lad.

DEF:

Vert slots right in with cleanable fixtures through January 21st. Home WBA a great place to make a defensive debut for me. Let’s get it Jan.

Scott Dann showing up to work punching his ticket for me again even after a nightmare of a match vs. the Eve last time out. But then again the penalty wasn’t a pen and the stoppage time shouldn’t have been tacked on so fuck it. Palace are still looking pretty tight and I’m still waiting for my Dann dong so please let it be this week. I need some bounce-back.

Lastly I have Phil Jones in but assuming he doesn’t play it’ll be Lejeune who tries desperately to win me over after a meltdown shocker of his own last week against a shit United attack. He was losing Chris Smalling on crosses and fucking up clearances and being bad. Need another bounce-back right here even though I think Watford will score multiple goals and Richarlison is a good captain shout. Fuck.

MID:

5 man midfield this week as again I roll out the 3-5-2. Don’t hate it to be honest...

Loftus-Cheek gets in there as the fifth guy but he’s very much a real fucking guy and I’m liking him a lot. That price for his position and his skills with Benteke coming back is just tremendous. Home to Stoke, let’s go again RLC.

Double City boys get in there with Silva and Sané. I pretty much ditto all of Walsh’s sentiments above that this should be a bare-bottom spanking against Huddy. City are by faaaaaaaarrrrrr the best team in the league and some people are arguing the best team in Europe right now... Sané and Silva just get the fuck in there lads. Silva needs to punish all fucking idiots who swapped him out for Paul.

Lastly Richarlison and Salah who also feel like the longest of long-term holds there. Fucking hell my midfield is incredible. Five out of five returns last week and still the red arrow dick in my now-red ass. LET’S FUCKING GO BOYS COME ON YOU FUCKS.

FWD:

Delightful double of Kun and Harry up top. It should feel better then it does do but Kun who the fuck knows, coin-flip if he starts/plays at all and then Spurs in a slump hampers the Kane appeal. But they’ll turn it around I reckon. So I’m not too worried about these guys... Just praying to all things that Kun starts.

CAP:

I’m on Richarlison. Maybe I’ll flip-flop a couple more times before the deadline in like two hours from now...

I typed out Kun but it was too dumb and risky. I typed out Leroy and it felt medium ok but kind of boring, and also the chances of BOTH me and Walsh hitting on the same cap are relatively negative percent so I don’t want to fuck up Walsh’s chances. In the end Richar has a great fixture and has been ole faithful over there. He shoots more times then god with a hatty / huge haul around the corner one of these days a la Salah. Maybe it’s this week... (Probably not this week).

I’m vice-capping Kun for all of you cheeky fuckers who wanna cap my vice. Hope it works out for you...

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW11

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

*Warning* By far the longest lambs from Walsh that he's ever written. Lotta action - read at your peril or delight.

WALSH (on Bench Boost)

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Jesus, Morata & Chlobah

IN (for -4 points): Vardy, Firmino & Sane

I'd like to think this slate of moves is a compromise of sorts. My best friend Alon initially was very strongly backing Vardy for me. I'm not 100% convinced, but, with Jesus on for yet another mid-week price drop I fired on it. Would wait to figure out what else to do another day.

As options continued to be bandied about, a fork in the road was approached. My best friend Alon cautioned me against taking a -4 and instead preferred I hold Morata and get Zaha instead of Sane. Instead, I took a -4 because I don't think I wanted to live with myself another GW in not owning Sane. He has emerged as potentially the best midfielder in the game and I want to have fun with everyone else. If I went for Zaha in that spot, I'd have no real way of getting to Sane unless I did a lateral City mid to City mid swap which doesn't feel good....since they are all great.

I needed to make funds somewhere, and my eye was cast upon young Alvaro. I still think Morata will come good with goals in the medium term - but - with that said, I don't think he represents great value since I will never captain him. Chelsea are also kind of a fucked up mess so I don't feel that bad getting rid, and it's also a nice time to dodge his likely 2 pointer against United.

I am not in love with Firmino in this moment, especially since he will be out wide tomorrow with Sturridge starting, but basically I am still just backing Liverpool on the incoming run of good fixtures. They look to be approaching full fitness from a squad perspective after the international break and I think Firmino at 8.5 is still value. His stats haven't been great but he is still usually around most of what they do... I said when I took him out in GW6 that he would be back and that day has come. The fixture doesn't get better than at an injury ravaged West Ham so hopefully Liverpool fucking dismantle them and he pays back the hit straight away.

I now am completely in love with the way my money is spread in the front 7. I have Kane and 6 players all at 8m and up so it feels likely that I will be raking in points from some places each week. This is the by far the happiest I've been with my team all season.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No lineup decisions to make this weekend since I am on BENCH BOOST. I have been shouting on the pod throughout the season here and there that I was going to use it in a single gameweek and so I will try to articulate my thinking now:

For one, I think the free hit chip will be better used in a DGW rather than the blank GW. When we get realistically 2 good DGWs per season and the triple cap is obviously to be used in one of them I'd rather use the free hit on the other one instead of the bench boost.

Blank gameweeks are easy to navigate. We generally know what fixtures will be on and off well in advance of the given blank gameweek, for one. Because of this we are able to plan accordingly to get at least 8 guys out. Additionally, the teams that are usually involved in the blank gameweek are shitty teams as any sides who have advanced in the FA Cup are those whose fixtures get postponed. I'd rather focus on getting in players who will play in the blank around the fringes of my side with free transfers rather than use the valuable chip to get in a bunch of WBA and Stoke players who are all bad anyway. In my personal experiences over the past two seasons, bench boosting during a DGW has come in with a horrendously low point total. We already are pissing into the wind guessing who will start both games of DGWs, and, I found myself WCing into teams with the bench boost in mind to set myself up to look "good" for the BB DGW but then not look as good for the coming weeks - blinded by getting in only players who have two fixtures on the double. It hasn't worked well. Often times the cheaper guys available late on in the season who are involved in the DGWs do not have two good fixtures. Maybe 1 good 1 bad or 1 good 1 decent. 

Then there is the question of which fixture that player will play in if not both. The bench boost gives you your 2nd GK, 5th mid, and 4th and 5th defenders in. To me, if you get 8 points or more the bench boost should be deemed a success. Realistically we will always have 2 defenders who are under 5m - and so on mid-table sides - when we'd be lucky to pick a clean sheet up. 2nd GK also, generally a 4.0 guy..in this case Elliot..where we'd also be lucky to pick a clean sheet up. 5th mid is a spot with some more upside if you spend 5.5m or something, but then is it worth spunking extra funds on that spot later in the season on WC just for 1 week? I have found no. It takes money off the pitch for the subsequent weeks. I am not saying this is "correct" or that there is a right way to use this chip. It is entirely possible that you BB into dreams of 20 points on the DGW if you hit it right. I have 15 fit players right now, and the fringes of my side this week - the aforementioned spots on my team - all have good fixtures. So I think I have a reasonable chance of getting somewhere between 10-16 points off the chip this week. Additionally, after the international break is when fixtures start to pileup with midweeks coming in and Europe still in effect for top sides. This GW feels like one where there will not be much surprise rotation or omissions from a side's best XI. The timing feels good to me. We'll see how it goes when the games have been played.

For those keeping score at home, the players who will be coming in from my bench this weekend are: Foster hud, Dunk swa, Francis newc, and Stephens swa. I have 3 clean sheet shouts there. If 1 comes in - I'm golden. If 2 come in - I'm flying. If 3 come in - it's dreamland.

Full team with writeup below.

GK:

Elliot and Rafa welcome Bournemouth. The Cherries look pretty fucked injury-wise with Stan out...and hopefully King still out. Rafa has been tight at home so a clean feels pretty good here. Foster goes to Huddy. West Brom have also been a fucked up mess but I still back Pulis to go play tight on the road against a team I still think is shit. Huddersfield should have a hard time finding space and playing against West Brom so it's another game where I think a clean could come in.

DEF:

Phil Jones love of my life auto. Suddenly becoming a bap machine he is the best defender in the game by miles to me.

Naughton welcomes Brighton to the Liberty. Swansea have been a bit unpredictable but they are still playing well defensively and I don't think a Glenn Murray led attack really inspires much fear into anyone. He might be playing as wingback if Clement goes three at the back which would be nice, although he hasn't done so much at home. Either way, a clean feels good here.

SWard at Soton is a dream fixture. Soton are utter shit.

Dunk going at Swansea too - so obviously hoping for a 0-0 in that one. Swansea are pretty bad at scoring goals, and I think this game will largely be played in the middle third with plenty of turnovers in the final third since both of these team's kinda suck at attacking.

Lastly, Franno at Newc - another 0-0 I would kill for - could come off. Bournemouth have been poor, but not awful. They haven't been conceding boatloads, but just enough 1 goalish type games to not hit on cleans. Joselu is bad, Newc are bad at scoring goals, and I think this game will look very similar to Swansea v Brighton. A lot of middle third, a lot of throw ins, a lot of fuck in the final third.

MID:

Triple City mid is finally in place. Dilva, Raz, & Sane here we go. It is realistic that one of Raz or Sane may be rested, but realistically, I expect him to play his best lineup and that includes both of them. Their pace against Arsenal's high line should be on the pitch. Another cheeky look at the three City mids is if/when they all start I'm on for 3 clean sheet points which is nearly like having a defender in as well when they keep cleans. Love that.

Salah is to my midfield as Jones is to my defense. Good lad.

Finally, piece of shit Stephens goes. Hopefully he doesn't pick up a card and just trickles in a couple of points for me. Wish I had someone like RLC in here but meh. 5th mid is shit.

FWD:

New faces and new friends off the back of my transfers. Alongside Kane go Vardz and Bobby Firm.

Leicester looked electric under Puel last weekend so I get where Alon is coming from with being high on Vardy. The new formation really looks perfect at getting the most out of the personnel at his disposal. Stoke are generally a shambles, although they do not tend to let up many at home. Vardy still feels good, though, and someone who I think will represent great value at his price over the near term.

Firmino discussed above, just hoping that Liverpool fuck Bilic upside down. 4-0 not out of the question in that fixture to me.

CAP:

Salah. As you know, dearest reader and friend, I don't cap against Palace so Harold does not get my armband. Salah has looked on form and I think West Ham will have a hard time dealing with him. Risky week to go off Kane but at least I own him so as long as Salah stays within a few points of him it won't be the end of the world. Of course, a Kane hat and Salah blank will leave me in the dumps, but decisions like these are always on a knife edge. It could go the other way and I go up five million places. Not quite, but you get the idea. Let's go.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Lacazette

IN: King Harold of Kane

Thanks for nothing Laca flocka flame. Simple move and my Wildcard team was always designed for this swap as I kept the money in the bank for it. Not much to say on Harold, he’s the best player in FPL, just titted Real Madrid, home against Palace. Yep.

GK:

DDG will never leave this spot. I should just copy and paste it. All fixtures are good for Mou and his buses.

DEF:

So my kiss of death lives on. It was hard to imagine me killing all 15 players on Wildcard last week so I duno how my kiss of death works but it seems that Toby is the only one who I kissed.. or killed? I’m confusing myself with language... Anyway he is fucked and out but hopefully he can return to me after international break but for now I’m starting a 3-4-3 which is a bummer because that means I’m starting Jordan Ayew. But ok on to defenders:

Phil Jones just rinse and repeat what I said above RE: de Gea. All fixtures are good defensive fixtures for this team and he’s a BAP magnet and still fucking cheap too. It’s ridiculous how good he’s been this FPL season. Wish I’d’ve capped him every week.

Lejeune I’m very enthused about - he was a post-lambs change to my wildcard team in for Daniels. He’s really fucking good. He is going to score some goals this year by nature of winning every fucking header on the pitch. And his baseline bonus points are out of control. He’s just really really good and watching him closely vs Burnley (despite no clean) last week got me even more pumped for him. He might be the best 4.4 defender in the game but we’ll see. Don’t feel great about Bournemouth this week but hoping...

And lastly Duffy go on. Another good cheap guy and a testament to this price structure / formation. Brighton are a tight outfit and at Swans is a terrific fixture so let’s get some fucking cleans and BAPs. Duffy is just the better version of Dunk RE: attacking potential and bonus for 0.1 more. He’s a good lad.

MID:

My midfield feels very very strong. Only guy “missing” is Raz but ya know, I can’t have 6 midfielders so I feel great with my five (starting four).

Leading the line is Salah’s salad and Liverpool taking on West Ham. I think Walsh is spot on to highlight West Ham and their defensive frailty. Could fuck’em sideways this week but who knows. No Phil, Mane (off bench maybe), Gini, Lallana.. Missing a lot of guys. But Salah has been MoTM in more matches then not this year - he’s just fantastic. He will tit again.

Silva / Sané and Man. City should continue to thrill. And as you heard on pod I’m not deterred by back to back blanks from Silva I still think that he’s a completely fantastic FPL pick and has the stats to back it. He’s nice and rested from UCL and will keep ticking I believe. Sané just have to hope starts, as he should do. Just go look at that third goal vs. Napoli holy fuck what a run by him. Let’s.

Lastly Richarlison. Richarligate. Profarligate. Profligate. Heh... Sorry Rich just taking the piss. Yeah he fucks up good chances for fun. Many sitters and misses and whatever. He’s still really fucking good though. And still the standout budget mid I’d say with great fixtures to boot. Love him and Watford at Goodison running at Jags and Ash. Should shred’em. Go on Rich.

FWD:

Jordan Ayew gets a rare start but ok he does a job. At least it’s a “good” fixture. If Brighton and Duffy fail to keep it clean like I want then hopefully it’s Jordan who undos them. His stats are... Oookkaaaaayyyy but maybe in dog years (AKA for a Swansea player) that’s good? Like 2 shots on target in the last 4 Swansea matches in dog years means he’s actually shooting a lot. What am I talking about? Moving on...

Kane and Kun. Kun and Kane. Best two guys in all of FPL future and past. I gave my Kun sermon on this week’s pod and in last week’s wildcard lambs. TLDR I think he’s the main man at City and firmly ahead of Jesus. And when Kun is the main man you get Kun in FPL.

Kane looked energetic and good in what I saw / read of the Real Madrid match. And then good Poch news putting the injury behind feels good. Kane is auto.

CAP:

Unfortunately for people in my same situation I offer you no clarity here on cap. I just don’t fucking know yet. I need to maybe actually flip a three sided coin. Or ask somebody dumb. Kun vs. Kane vs. Salad. Really really tough. I need more time. I can’t decide now. Who are you going with? Fucking hell.