#there is no such thing as a straight Meowscarada or straight Quaquaval

[fierykitten2]

Skeledirge exists because Game Freak knew the Paldean starter trio would’ve been too powerful with three fabulous LGBTQ+ icons who just happen to be amazing performers and really rock the outfits their fur/feathers make them look like they’re wearing

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Now to roast Paldea and Kitakami before Sylveon does!(spoilers for people who are buying the entire dlc on Christmas and want to go in blind)

Sprigatito: There are two main sides of sprigatito fans, the rule 34 side and the 4/20 side.

Floragato: Why did you ditch the yo-yo when you evolved, that just makes it pointless!

Meowscarada: The delphox for cat lovers.

Fuecoco: You can join slowpoke in the "No thoughts, head empty" club.

Crocalor: So was the sombrero just a phase!?

Skeledirge: I would have no idea you were a singer if it wasn't for your signature move.

Quaxly: The Donald Duck pokemon.

Quaxwell: You're name is literally Maxwell with a qu instead of an m!

Quaquaval: I know it's 2023 and straight men can present themselves as flamboyant as they want, but this is literally just a gay version of blaziken!

Lechonk: Mmmm bacon....

Oinkolonge: Is this supposed to be the phrase "putting lipstick on a pig" given physical form?

Tarountula: With all that silk on your back, you're basically a walking yarn ball!

Spidops: This is based on the creepiest looking spider, arachnophobes beware...

Nymble: They're a bit more forgettable compared to many other bug pokemon.

Lokix: I really wish that the first bug/Dark pokemon would've been more interesting.

Pawmi: The first pikaclone to evolve, it only took us two decades after pikaclones were introduced.

Pawmo: My roasts about electrode, but with the name placements swapped.

Pawmot: You're only known for being Nemona's signature pokemon.

Tandemaus and Maushold: The first pokemon to canonically have s€x.

Fidough: Butter dog, the dog with the butter.

Dachsbun: Gamefreak, are you never gonna give us a fire/fairy type!?

Smoliv: What can I say about it other than it's smol?

Doliv: If you find this hot, turn yourself into the police.

Arboliva: "Then I saw her face, now I'm Arboliva!"(I'm sorry for that crappy joke)

Squawkabilly: Introducing, Chatot 2.0! Comes in four different flavors, blueberry, sour apple, lemon, and vanilla.

Nacil, Naclstack, and Garganacl: "Insert Minecraft joke here"

Charcadet: It's just a child.

Armarouge: Megamen but red.

Ceruledge: The edgy Armarouge.

Tadbulb: Who put a tadpole in a lightbulb!?

Bellibolt: You'd think with how much Iono hyped this pokemon up that it would be her signature pokemon, but no.

Wattrel and Kilowattrel: The better wingull and Peliper.(I feel like a lot of people want me dead now)

Maschiff: It's dex entry speaks for itself.

Mabosstiff: I can't roast a pokemon Arven loves dearly and jumped through so many hoops to keep alive.

Shroodle: It barley looks anything like the pokemon it evolves into!

Grafaiai: it's a spray paint gremlin.

Bramblin and Brambelghast: Someone round them up before they accidentally ravage Paldea to a wasteland!

Toedscool: I used to hate it until I saw it run with its feet tentacles.(it's so funny)

Toedscreul: It's just as cruel as the pokemon it's based on.

Klawf: I'm so happy that everyone gets to eat the crab this time.

Capsakid: The fact that people use its teeth for cooking makes me uncomfortable.

Scovillan: Why does the green head use fire moves when it's red peppers that are spicier?

Rellor: It's a dung beetle with the face of a proboscis monkey, need I say more?

Rabsca: So is the ball it carries its baby or it's soul, it seems like the pokedex can't make up its mind.

Flittle: This thing looks like candy.

Espathra: The Lady Gaga pokemon.

Tinkatink, Tinkatuff, and Tinkaton: Someone call steel type protective services!

Wiglett: It's a goofy eel!

Wugtrio: They look like hotdogs.

Bombirder: This is definitely a dark twist on the baby delivering stork.

Finizen: Finally, after eight generations, we have a dolphin pokemon.

Palafin: It's ironic that the dolphin pokemon is a hero when real life dolphins are evil.

Varoom and Revavroom: Is the first poison/steel types being egines supposed to be a social commentary on how gas cars are bad for the environment?

Cyclizar: Behold, lizard bike!

Orthworm: How can I roast orthworm when it is such derp baby?

Glimmet: It looks like a certain type of plug.

Glimmora: Why was this Geeta's ace instead of kingambit!?

Grevard: This dog is cute yet terrifying at the same time.

Houndstone: The "why isn't this a rock type" pokemon.

Flamigo: I know the design isn't really creative, but I'm glad we finally got a flamingo pokemon.(I've been wanting one ever since I saw a fake leak of an flamingo based Alolan dodrio.)

Cetoddle: It's a baby whale, I can't roast that.

Cetitan: Looks way stronger than it actually is.

Vuluza: Leave me alone, damn you!

Dondozo: This is just wishcash on steroids.

Tatsugiri: Mmmm sushi....

Annihilape: Poor primape, no one cared about it until it died.

Clodsire: It looks like an éclair.

Dudunsparce: The joke evolution dunsparce deserved.

Kingambit: Why is this pokemon thicc!?

Great Tusk: This pokemon is a badass mammoth, what's there to make fun of!?

Scream Tail: The second shiny I've ever failed.(I thought the regular had red eyes)

Brute Bonnet: Why does it have three legs?

Flutter Mane: You're not a paradox pokemon, you're just a misdreavus with crazier hair, don't lie.

Slither Wing: This is actually a really cool design.

Sandy Shocks: This past paradox makes the least amount of sense!(that's probably the point though)

Iron Threads: It's clear which version had more thought put into their paradox designs.

Iron Bundle: Is this supposed to be a social commentary about how fake and consumeristic Christmas has become?

Iron Hands: "Alright, Pinhead. You're time is up"

Iron Jungulis: Is that even a word!?

Iron Moth and Iron Thorns: It's just Mothra and Mecha Godzilla.

Frigibax, Arctibax, and Baxcalibur: These are all just icy Godzillas!

Gimmigoul: This has got to be one of the most annoying pokemon to evolve!

Gholdengo: It looks like a mascot for string cheese.

Wo-Chien: This is the third grass/dark type in this game!

Chien-Pao: It has the least realistic design out of the four.(But they're still my favorite)

Ting-Lu: I've heard of pinhead but I've never heard of domehead!

Chi-Yu: How are you able to see if you have beads for eyes?

Roaring Moon: This is just an improved redesign of mega salamance.

Iron Valiant: The only future paradox worth catching outside of completing the pokedex.

Koraidon and Miraidon: So Arven's parents, were these pokemon worth dying over!?

Walking Wake and Iron Leaves: So what will you choose? An awesome and ferocious water dragon beast, or a robotic deer thing?

Dipplin: Mmmm caramel apple....

poltchageist: As sadistic as most other ghost types.

Sinistcha: Tis just proves that the ghost type is actually the evil type and not the dark type.

Okidogi: Literally just a green buff doge.

Munkidori: The new ugliest psychic type.

Fezandipiti: Damn, look at those eyelashes!

Ogrepon: She killed the loyal three just because they stole her masks, I don't think that's a proportional punishment.(J.K I know she didn't kill them on purpose)

Blood Moon Ursaluna: It's a zombie bear.(not really)

Raging Bolt: "It's a giraffe!"

Iron Crown: Definatly boring when compared to raging bolt.

Archladon: Ah yes, buildings definitely evolve into bridges.

Terapagos: This pokemon looks terrible without its makeup.

(How do you like that, Sylveon!? I roasted Paldea and Kitakami before you!)