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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: Epic Rap Battles of History

In September of 2010, a series began that would spend the decade growing, expanding, improving, and even attracting controversy: Epic Rap Battles of History. The concept is simple - take two characters from history or pop culture and have them get into a rap battle where every single line is loaded with clever allusions to the participants. From there, it can go in really any direction - rappers can jump into the middle of a battle, rappers can team up, battles can be heavily skewed in one direction… there’s a lot of variance.

Watching the series grow into something as impressive and well-done as it is nowadays has been quite an experience. The first battle, “John Lennon vs Bill O’Reilly,” is honestly pretty bad by today’s standards, with a weak beat, poor costumes, bad impressions, and just a general lack of polish. But it did have something to it, something that would come to light as more and more episodes were released - Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist really had a knack for rapping. I think the best part of the series over the past ten years is watching them go from the green rappers in that original video to incredibly talented and clever writers, singers, and actors, delivering stellar performances left and right in the more recent seasons.

With their first decade behind them, I’ve decided to go season by season and look at what worked and what didn’t as the show grew and evolved. I give an overview of each season, talk about some of the strengths and weaknesses they exhibited, and then go over the best and worst characters and battles of each season.

So, as the announcer says at the end of every intro... BEGIN!!!

Season 1

It’s hard to totally hate this season, but boy is it hard to love it. This was their first season, and their first batch of battles, so I think a little leeway needs to be given here; it’s clear they’re trying to find their footing and see what works and what doesn’t in terms of matchup and characterization. This leads to a lot of the battles of season one feeling really weird in hindsight, with the infamous “Genghis Khan vs The Easter Bunny” being the most standout example.

However, that’s just the most notable bit of wonkiness; there are plenty more decisions and matchups that really seem baffling in hindsight. One of the biggest ones is when Peter portrayed Lady Gaga in a rap battle against Sarah Palin of all people. This leads to a lot of the jokes Palin lobs being a bit more uncomfortable than they would have been if a woman played Gaga; this is notably the only time a female character has been portrayed by a man to this date.

Beyond that some of the matchups are just really nonsensical or rely too much on outdated memes. The worst offender in both regards is probably “Abraham Lincoln vs Chuck Norris,” which features Peter delivering one of his greatest performances in the series as Lincoln against a Lloyd-portrayed Norris who does nothing but spout “Chuck Norris Facts” thst we’re tired and unfunny even back in 2010. Likewise, Vince Offer popping up as backup for Billy Mays is pretty of-the-time, but that battle is actually good so it gets a pass.

Still, there are a lot more battles that do work or at least show a lot of promise. Look no further than the second battle in the series and the one that put them on the map, “Adolf Hitler vs Darth Vader.” While it’s a bit basic lyrically and not quite up to the later standards of the series, it’s easy to see why this became as big as it did. Zack Sherwin and George Watsky get their first guest spots here as Einstein and Shakespeare respectively, and both of them kill it in their roles, with the former even being part of one of the season’s best battles. It’s definitely easy to see why these two are the most reoccurring guest stars in the series.

Ultimately, season one is uneven and experimental, but shows a lot of promise. I think the datedness of some of the battles, particularly in regards to the ones featuring characters like Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga; using these two in particular so early in their careers really robbed us, particularly in the case of Bieber, whose decade-long downward spiral would have made for some really interesting disses. Then there are characters like Mr. Rogers and Genghis Khan, who are just wasted on completely mismatched opponents. There is good stuff here, but it lacks the polish later battles would have, making it hard to recommend revisiting this one. I’d say that with a few notable exceptions, you can safely skip this season.

Best Battle: “Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking” is probably the best battle of the sesaon; while the original Hitler/Vader battle is iconic, this one was one of the more clever early battles and if nothing else gave us the first Zach Sherwin performance and an awesome and faithful rendition of Hawking.

Worst Battle: “Genghis Khan vs the Easter Bunny.” As if it could be anything else.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Abe Lincoln, despite being in one of the weaker battles of the season, immediately cemented himself as one of Peter’s best characters, and it definitely helps he has some pretty hard and creative disses, particularly his line involving Chuck Norris crying his cancer-curing tears on his filmography. It’s no wonder Lincoln is the only president who keeps coming back.

Peter: Darth Vader became one of the most iconic characters in the first few seasons for a reason, and despite his weaker lines here than in his sequels, he still manages to be as cool and intimidating as Darth Vader in a rap battle should be.

Guest: Albert Einstein was Zach Sherwin’s first appearance in the series, and what a first appearance it is! It really isn’t a shock he has been invited back time and time again, as he is an absolute blast in this battle.

Worst Characters:

Lloyd: Chuck Norris is the clear loser in terms of Lloyd’s characters this season. He’s nothing but a string of tired memes, and offers no insight into Norris at all. Frankly it would have been nice if they ripped into Norris harder, seeing as he’s a right-winger, homophobe, and Trump supporter. Portraying him as some cool, unstoppable force really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Peter: Lady Gaga, hands down, and it’s not that hard a decision. She was portrayed terribly and it really is a shame they didn’t wait until later in her career to use her, because there is so much more interesting things to say about her now than back when they made the rap battle and the most interesting things to riff on were the stupid rumors that she was a hermaphrodite and her weird outfits.

Guest: Alex Farnham’s Justin Bieber is whiny, obnoxious, gets few good lines, and is more than a little mean-spirited; keep in mind, this was made early in Bieber’s career, when his only crime was being a kid with a music career who made songs some people hated. It just seems cruel, and considering how he would turn out a few years later, a world of missed opportunity… but that’s par for the course for season one.

Season 2

Season two was the proverbial “growing the beard” moment for the series. Coming out a month after season one, the new episodes already seemed bigger and more polished, starting off strong with a rematch between Hitler and Vader more epic than the original. Things continued solidly until the season peaked with the masterpiece that is “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates.” That battle was a huge game changer, and took the series to new heights, heights the rest of the season after struggled to meet.

The big problem is that about half of the battles post-“Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates” are incredibly forgettable or even bad. “Doc Brown vs Doctor Who” is on the forgettable side, as is the first-ever election battle, which pitted Obama up against Mitt Romney. Romney alone should tell you why this battle is so forgettable; it’s a battle you really had to be there in the moment for, and is frankly a good argument as to why election battles should not be done. It’s not awful by any means, but it really isn’t memorable or relevant.

On the bad side, we have “Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury,” “Batman Vs Sherlock Holmes,” and the infamous “Adam vs Eve.” The former two mostly suffer from awful characterization, with Sinatra being set up in the same way Justin Bieber was to be the clear loser. There’s nothing wrong with a curbstomp rap battle obviously, but considering how Sinatra is NOT a reviled figure like Bieber, this one goes over very poorly. Batman on the other hand mainly suffers from being horribly characterized and having extremely repetitive verses, with both his verses basically reiterating the same points. Neither battle is godawful, but they don’t really make good cases for themselves.

Then there is “Adam vs Eve.” This battle is widely regarded as the worst battle of not only the season, but THE ENTIRE SERIES. There is a very good reason for that: this battle is a massive departure from the style and tone of the series. Adam and Eve here represent stereotypical sitcom man and woman; there are very few Biblical references and the whole thing is very one-sided in Eve’s favor, with the battle basically ending with Adam apologizing for calling Eve a bitch… after she spent the past few minutes insulting his sexual prowess and penis size. There are a lot of double standards here, and it would only have been worse if God’s planned cameo was kept in, where he unambiguously sides with Eve.

But let’s not pretend like these are more than exceptions that prove the rule. Season two is remarkably solid, to the point where some battles have aged far better than you would expect. The prime example of this is “Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe;” at the time derided by audiences as just a battle consisting of nothing but slut-shaming, looking back it is a very strong yet lighthearted entry between two incredibly intense battles that has a great beat, clever lines, and strong performances from the two ladies. There are a couple of other underrated gems of the season but this one takes the cake.

The season is notable for a lot of big firsts. This is the first season to nab mainstream celebrities as guests, getting Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, and Snoop Dogg himself to portray Gandhi, MLK, and Moses, respectively. Unsurprisingly the battles featuring them are some of the very best of the season. It’s also the first season with a woman vs woman battle where both characters are portrayed by women, to much better results than the previous one. It’s the first season to have a two-on-two battle, with the second battle of the season featuring the Mario Bros battling the Wright brothers.

The biggest first however was the new style introduced in the finale: the Royale. This style of battle is basically a one on one to start, with each rapper getting one verse and then after the second rapper’s verse a third party barged in to school them, followed by a fourth and then a fifth. This first one featured famous figures from Russian history: Rasputin, Stalin, Lenin, Gorbachev, and Putin, and it is fun and hilarious, though Putin’s portrayal is definitely a product of its time and clearly made before people realized how evil he is.

This season also has some notable missed opportunities unique to it. The first is that there is a whole scrapped battle that was even teased in the trailer for season two, which would have had Hillary Clinton rapping against King Henry VIII. Peter and Lloyd were disappointed with how the audio came out and so permanently shelved it, though the audio is available online. It would have been interesting to see how it would have turned out, though the audio does not paint the best picture and the battle likely would have been forgettable. Still, it would have been interesting to have both parties in the 2016 election battle be returning rappers.

The second is that, to date, season two is the only season to use video game characters, with Mario, Luigi, and Master Chief being the sole representatives of the art form. This gets weirder with every passing year, as video games continue to become more mainstream and characters like Solid Snake, Samus, Phoenix Wright, Lara Croft, and Kratos continue to be popular suggestions for battles. It just feels like a lot of opportunities are being missed, though there’s always hope now that fans have more say than ever.

Overall, season two was a big, confident stride forward for the series. While there are a few stingers and forgettable battles here and there, the majority live up to the title of the series. I’d say that, moreso than season one, this is a great starting point for the series, This season marks the beginning of what I’d like to call the Golden Age, and I would say there are very few episodes here you should skip.

Best Battle: “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” which is not as easy a decision as it seems considering the quality of the season overall. Still, this one probably holds up the best out of all of the episodes, with the rhymes, flow, disses, and beat all being legendary and the surprise interjection from HAL 9000 being nothing short of awesome.

Worst Battle: “Adam vs Eve,” which again, is probably also the worst battle of the entire series.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Gorbachev is the winner here. He’s just a funny, goofy ditz of a Russian leader, and he definitely schools all of the other arguing Russians. His beat is unique and a lot of fun, which definitely helps him stand out even more.

Peter: Peter has a lot of great roles this season, but it’s hard to not give the win to Santa, because Peter was able to hold his own against SNOOP DOGG. Speaking of which...

Guest: Snoop Dogg’s Moses is the standout in a season with no shortage of cool guests. I mean, come on, it’s Snoop

Worst Character:

Lloyd: Adam, hands down, and keep in mind Lloyd also played the now-irrelevant Mitt Romney this season. Adam sucked so bad a bland politician outdid him.

Peter: I’m not sure who told Peter to play Batman like that, but… yeah. Batman sucks here. I hope they bring him back and do him justice someday.

Guest: Jenna Marbles is completely wasted as Eve.

Season 3

Out of the three Golden Age seasons (2 - 4), I think season three is the most uneven and messy. While there are obviously some great battles here - it is part of the Golden Age after all - there are a lot of bad and awkward battles, or at the very least there aren’t as many great battles to make the bad ones seem less egregious. The tone is set by the season opener, the third and final battle between Hitler and Vader which despite a cool Boba Fett cameo ends up feeling underwhelming and boring.

The real issue with this season is that, while there aren’t too many genuinely bad battles this season, even the good ones feel a bit off. For the bad, we have “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc,” which wastes one of history’s most badass woman against a flash-in-the-pan pop star; this battle has very few defenders, and gave woman back woman rap battles even more (undeserved) flack. To the season’s credit it doesn’t really get worse, and the only other weak battles are “George Washington vs William Wallace” (which not only conflates the fictionalized version of Wallace from Braveheart with the real one, but makes George Washington way more boring than he should be) and “Rick Grimes vs Walter White” (which feels like a ratings grab riding off of the coattails of two popular shows, though Lloyd really kills it as Walt).

For the good ones, a lot are held back from the lofty greatness of season two’s best by disappointing flaws. “Superman vs Goku” is fun and performs the miracle of making Ray William Johnson cool for two minutes, but it just feels way too short, especially considering the massive histories of the characters. The finale has a similar issue with shortness; “Artists vs Turtles” pits the TMNT against their namesakes, and the first verse and beat are fantastic, but the turtles get absolutely shafted on lyrics and the whole battle comes off as feeling uneven. This wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t a four-on-Four battle. “Stephen King vs Edgar Allen Poe” is so close to being great, as it has fantastic lyrics and a great Watsky performance, but Zach Sherwin chose a weird, raspy voice for King that brings the battle down a bit. It’s kind of sad that a battle between ERB’s two most popular guests is hampered by such an odd choice.

Still, when the season is great, it is GREAT. Key and Peele return, this time playing MICHAEL Jordan and Muhammed Ali respectively, and they kill it. Weird Al shows up playing Isaac Newton and, as expected, is amazing in his battle against Bill Nye. And the series introduces a new, very interesting type of rap battle - the story battle/gauntlet battle. Basically, there is one consistent rapper, and they rap against multiple opponents in succession, usually with some sort of storyline. And what better story to turn into a rap battle than A Christmas Carol? Scrooge goes up against Donald Trump, J.P. Morgan, Kanye West, and the Grim Reaper to learn the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Season three is definitely a good season, and the weaker battles are still worth a listen even if they do have some issues; the only one I’d say is unlistenably bad is “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” due to how offensive the wasting of Joan is. I feel like people listening to this season will have wildly different opinions on which battles are good, bad, and great, so even if it feels a bit wonky there’s no denying it’s worth a listen.

Best Battle: “Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge” is a real game changer, and is not only fantastic, but as its only use of profanity is censored you can reasonably play this at a holiday party! If you ever need your quick fix of the Dickens classic, this is the way to get it, as this is remarkably faithful and very good at condensing the story into a rap battle.

Worst Battle: “Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc” is just absolutely unforgivable; Joan deserved a more fitting opponent than Cyrus. Katniss was often a suggested opponent, but I feel like even that would be bad, as Katniss has faded from the cultural consciousness over time unlike someone like Harry Potter. Still, Joan deserved way better than to be wasted for some throwaway curbstomp battle.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: Lloyd shows how good it feels to be a gangster with his portrayal of Al Capone, which manages to elevate the battle a bit higher despite the rather cheesy (but not bad) portrayal of Blackbeard opposite him.

Peter: Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, is utterly chilling, devoid of humor, and delivers one of the most legitimately terrifying verses in the series. This is why this ghost doesn’t usually get to speak in adaptations - because not only is he utterly terrifying, he steals the whole show. Peter really killed it with this one.

Guest: A lot of good guests popped in this season, but only one of them was Weird Al as Sir Isaac Newton. His flow is incredible, showing he has come a long way from “I Can’t Watch This.” He even gets a fast rap segment where he gets to show off his “Hardware Store” skills.

Worst Characters:

As uneven as the season felt, Peter and Lloyd actually managed to stay remarkably consistent; Lloyd didn’t play any character I can say was ��bad’ by any stretch. For a given value of “worst,” Peter’s Donald Trump just pales in comparison to Lloyd’s a couple seasons later. But again, as uneven as the season was, Peter and Lloyd really didn’t do bad. This is the point where the duo really began to come into their own and develop as performers, with them rarely turning in a bad performance from here on out.

The guest, on the other hand... Michelle Glavan’s Miley suffers from the same problems Bieber did two seasons prior - except her battle feels less like a funny curbstomp battle and more like they actually tried to make Miley Cyrus on the same level as ST. JOAN OF ARC.

Season 4

This is, without a doubt, the absolute best season of ERB. This is when they truly found their groove, knew what they were doing, and did nothing but pump out hit after hit after hit. It’s to the point where there is really only one bad battle in the season, and it’s not nearly as offensive as previous season’s stinkers.

Right out the gate this season proved itself by ditching the old tradition of Hitler and Vader and instead delivering up a highly requested matchup - in this case the Ghostbusters and the Mythbusters. The real treat isn’t merely the pitch-perfect portrayals, but the appearance at the end by the B Team and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, which cemented this as a fantastic and unique opening. From here, it was almost nothing but fantastic battles until the midseason finale, which was a battle royale of film directors.

Many argued that the season lost steam upon coming back from break, as “Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted” was a bit underwhelming as a return, but from there the season picked up with the criminally underrated “David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini” and then continuing up with the quality, the season peaking with “Eastern Philisophers vs Western Philosophers,” a fantastic showdown between some of the greatest thinkers of history. Somehow “Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar” kept up the pace, but I will say the season faltered a bit at the ending.

While “Jim Henson vs Stan Lee” is not bad, and is especially sweet and heartwarming in light of Stan Lee’s death, the use of Walt Disney as a soulless supervillain representing the monopolistic tendencies of his company and not the man himself is a rather contentious choice. It doesn’t help that the battle feels a lot more mellow and peaceful, which mostly has to do with the two men battling. It frankly feels like this should have been the midseason opener and the philosopher battle should have been the finale, since the latter battle feels a lot more epic and climactic.

The only truly bad battle of the season is, unfortunately, “Oprah vs Ellen,” which did nothing to alleviate the stigma of women characters in rap battles. I feel like the major issue with this one is that Oprah just has terrible lines and delivery, with some of her lines having painfully forced rhymes. Not helping is that it came hot on the heels of “Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter,” one of the best battles of season four’s first half.

Still, that’s a small blip on this season’s radar. To wrap things up on a more positive note, this season features perhaps the most unique battle in the franchise: “Zeus vs Thor.” Not only is it the only battle between deities so far, it is also the only battle animated entirely with Legos. It not only helps it stand out due to its unique style, it makes the battle more timeless and not prone to aging poorly in terms of visuals. It’s just overall a showcase of the brilliance of Peter and Lloyd - which is really something that can be said of the whole season.

This is, once again, the very best season of the show. It’s almost nothing but incredible, fantastic works from start to finish. Even the couple of battles that I feel are a bit weak tend to have some good stuff going for them. This was really where the series was at the top of its game, and I genuinely feel that there was nowhere they could go from here but down… and down they did go.

Best Battle: In a season full of fantastic battles, the gold medal still undoubtedly must go to the philosopher battle. The awesome beat! Laozi beatboxing! Nietzsche! It’s really something special.

Worst Battle: “Oprah vs Ellen,” for the reasons stated above. It’s not even so much that it’s bad as it is really underwhelming and filled with awkward lines, but it does stick out as notably poor in an otherwise stellar season.

Best Characters:

Lloyd: This is another Stellar season for Peter and Lloyd; it’s hard to pick just one great performance, but Lloyd voicing Stay Puft is certainly a hilarious treat.

Peter: Peter’s portrayal of Julius Caesar is one of the best showcases of his acting talents this season. I’d say it’s tied with Robocop, who Peter also knocks out of the park.

Guest: This season was absolutely stellar in regards to guests, so honestly picking the best is really a tossup. A personal favorite of mine is Dan Bull’s Jack the Ripper, who is equal parts chilling and entertaining.

Worst Character: It could only be Oprah, what with her painful rhymes and poor verses. That being said, she’s probably the only rapper I could stretch to call bad this season, as Peter and Lloyd has no bad showings and the other guests were pretty great.

Season 5

Welcome to the Dark Age. Season five is without a doubt the most divisive season of the series, and I do feel that that is a bit unwarranted because there are some truly fantastic battles here, probably more than there were in Golden Age seasons like three. The major issue with this season is not really a problem with the battles themselves, but a two-pronged meta problem: burnout, and the toxic fanbase.

The burnout was a long time coming. Peter and Lloyd had been doing ERB nonstop for half the decade at the point this season came out, and as the finale of the season, a rematch between Peter and Lloyd, showed the two were tired, frustrated, and hitting walls in terms of creativity. They obviously loved the series - there was still plenty of passion, creativity, and wit in the battles - but they needed a break, especially since Peter had recently become a father.

The other issue was far less predictable. When the 2010s began, making fun of Nazis and conservative ideology was cool, fun, and pretty much what anyone with a functioning brain was doing. But over the 2010s, a lot of radicalization began occurring due to social media and its ability to give platforms to awful people who shouldn’t be allowed to talk. Nazis, alt-right, conservatives, anti-SJWs, they all started building up over the decade and trying to wage a culture-wide war on sensitivity and empathy, instead trying to convince others that the plight of those who are disadvantaged due to how the ruling class structured society is not worth addressing and that things are fine the way they are. Trump’s depressingly successful presidential campaign did nothing but embolden and strengthen the resolve of these creeps, and that kind of leads into the three most contentious battles of the season - “Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson,” “Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton,” and “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner.”

“Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson” got a lot of flack for seemingly being one-sided in Douglass’ favor, with him almost solely attacking Jefferson for his owning of slaves and not really establishing himself well. While the battle isn’t particularly engaging and I didn’t really come out feeling like I learned much about Douglass, a lot of the criticisms at the time seemed more focused on being angry that this battle addressed that slavery was actually a thing at all and that the battle watered things down to “Jefferson bad!” This is of course disregarding that even Douglass admits in his final verse that Jefferson did a lot for the country, but that we need to address the bad parts of him more than we do. Still, this was small potatoes compared to the latter two battles.

These two battles are what made Pete and Lloyd really pause due to the negative reactions both battles garnered. The election battle received a lot of criticism for seemingly having a “left-wing bias,” as despite it following a similar structure to the previous presidential election battle, Lincoln’s appearance was a lot more focused on berating and abusing Trump. One needs to keep in mind though that Trump had already definitively shown he was a racist, misogynistic scumbag at this point in the presidential race, all of his lines were based on things he actually said, and he was pretty much the strongest rapper in the battle, getting in a lot of good disses. The battle is only “one-sided” in the minds of people who want to be angry at everything; it’s no more one sided than any of the Hitler and Vader fights, it just so happens that one combatant is more evil than the other and so deserves more abuse.

“Banner vs Jenner” seemed to get flack almost entirely due to its acknowledgment that trans people exist. I will be the first to admit that Caitlin Jenner is not really the best person to be using to push a pro-LGBT+ message, especially considering her political leanings, but the fact remains that there was a massive influx of transphobic comments in regards to the battle, mostly with very tired “The connection is they are Bruces who turn into monsters Lol” jokes. This drowned out a lot of legitimate criticisms of the battle - namely, that Jenner got to ramble on for several bars in her second verse while Hulk barely got to get in any good jabs. It’s even more disappointing because the first verses for both rappers was fantastic, and the second half of the battle looked to be shaping into something great… and then Jenner rambled on and on and on. But it was hard to find much constructive criticism because there was just so much hate and tasteless comments. Stuff like that upset Peter and Lloyd, as they had assumed their fanbase was more progressive and forward-thinking, but with how the internet works, they severely misjudged the kinds of people who had infested their fanbase.

It really is a shame that those battles tend to overshadow the entire season five conversation, because boy are there some really great battles here. There’s underrated gems like the overhated “Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder,” strong female rappers like Julia Child in her battle against Gordon Ramsay, long-requested matchups like “James Bond vs Austin Powers,” and even a great story battle with “Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great,” which has Ivan murdering his way through historical figures with “The Great” in their titles. It’s a lot of fun, and Peter’s performance as Ivan is a showcase of his talents.

However, the season’s greatest contribution to the series is most definitely the penultimate battle, which is “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill.” This might very well be the most epic battle in the series: the ever-popular announcer for ERB’s news jumping in to battle the only man in history who could possibly be ballsy enough to stand up to him. It’s to the point where even as the battle ends, the two are still roughly on even footing and it’s hard to say who won. If this had been the season finale, or even the series finale if they had decided not to continue, things would be perfect.

This season is overshadowed by controversy, and it really isn’t totally fair. Most of the controversy is around the guys trying to be more progressive and for punching hard at Trump but not Clinton, and while I can’t say I love the results (the controversial battles are definitely the weakest of the season) it really shouldn’t be held against them for trying to be socially conscious and they certainly should not be shamed, berated, or told to leave politics out of their battles (rap is an inherently personal genre, so politics are always going to find a way in, especially if the characters they’re portraying are, you know, politicians). I think a lot of great battles are overlooked, all because of the more controversial ones, and that’s a real shame, because this is a solid season only held back by the controversy it found itself mired in due to the state of the internet at the time.

Best Battle: “Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill,” naturally.

Worst Battle: “Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner,” though it entirely comes down to how the second half of the battle was handled; having this be the battle was not in itself a bad idea, and was actually pretty clever. The poor, lopsided battle biased in the favor of a character who is a terrible person in real life simply because they’re trans (or at least that’s kind of the vibe the episode gives) really doesn’t help. Frankly I wish they had given the first trans character in the series honor to someone more worthy, like the Wachowski sisters.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Teddy Roosevelt is the obvious choice, but I almost feel like it’s cheating since he is a mainstay on the channel. If we discount him, Frederick the Great is the clear winner for stealing a whole battle in twelve bars.

Peter: It’s honestly a tie between Austin Powers and Ivan the Terrible. Peter really rocked it with his performances in this season, and those two are some of his best roles ever.

Guest: In one of the most out-there yet awesome guest spots ever, we have T-Pain as Stevie Wonder, ditching the auto tune and delivering sick rhymes while tastefully portraying Stevie’s blindness.

Worst Character: Once again, Peter and Lloyd manage not to put in any bad performances, which really is a testament to how far they’ve come as entertainers.That only leaves one spot, the guest, and it really has to go to the elephant in the room: No Shame’s Caitlin Jenner.

I don’t really blame No Shame here; because she had the unenviable position of playing Jenner in the first place; Jenner is not exactly a beloved figure in the LGBT+ community or otherwise, and while it is cool they got a trans rapper to play a trans character, I feel like backlash here was inevitable just because of who it was.

What doesn’t help is that Jenner rambles on for a ludicrous amount of bars, getting in way more disses than Hulk did and not having any of her negative qualities addressed, which is especially baffling considering her real life political leanings and manslaughter charge being ripe for mockery. It ultimately comes off as tokenism, like they were trying to force a win for the first trans character by handicapping her opponent and ignoring her flaws, which ultimately backfired as most people give the win to Banner/Hulk as opposed to Jenner.

I really hope ERB does a trans character again, because there are plenty of interesting trans people throughout history, but I really hope they avoid the pitfalls Jenner fell into and make it a fair and balanced rap battle.

Season 6

After a hiatus that lasted through 2017 and until the end of 2018, the boys dropped a bonus battle to show they were coming back. And lo and behold, in the spring of 2019 season six dropped! While it is only half over by the decade’s end, one thing is for sure: Peter and Lloyd are back in top form.

The battles this time around seem to be a lot of highly requested matchups, which is not a huge shock - I believe certain tiers of donors who support them get a direct line to speak to the people behind ERB. It’s to the point where Robin Williams appearing in the comedian battle Royale was not the original plan, but he was so highly requested they added him in. Continuing the trend of popular requests opening seasons, this one kicks off with the long-awaited “Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine.” It’s clear how much their lyricism has improved, and the visuals in the battle are incredible, setting the bar high for the season.

Most of the battles in the first half sadly don’t try and go for creative backgrounds, sadly; only “Joker vs Pennywise” and “Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” really do interesting stuff with their backgrounds. Still, the other battles make up for it in other ways, typically with deft lyricism and great flow. In fact, even though not all the battles are top-tier, it’s telling that the weakest battle so far is “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud,” which only suffers because of how repetitive the disses get, especially on Freud’s end - Teresa’s flow and disses hit hard, Freud has a solid second verse, and the best is very fun. The worst thing I can say about it is that it feels like a holdover from season two, and considering this has been a matchup they’ve wanted to do for a long time, it wouldn’t shock me if it is.

The production values are astounding, and the overall visuals are the best in the series, but alas there are some hiccups. Freddy Krueger and Thanos in particular look a bit off; their battles are obviously not bad, but the costumes leave something to be desired, though considering these guys aren’t a multimillion dollar film studio it’s fair to cut a little bit of slack. What can’t be excused, however. Is the constant use of outdated memes, the worst offender being a reference to “What Does the Fox Say” in the rap battle between Che Guevara and Guy Fawkes (Side note: it is absolutely hilarious that Guy Fawkes and Joker both debuted in this season, considering… well… this). Almost every battle so far this season has contained a dated visual or lyrical reference, though they don’t really ruin the battles.

Overall, the season is extremely good so far, and showcases perfectly how far Peter and Lloyd have come since that first rap battle between John Lennon and Bill O’Reilly. The flows, the beats, the lyrics, the costumes… it’s all so good now. Long gone are the awkward days of the early seasons, and the burnout that was evident in season five is truly gone. These guys are having fun again, and I look forward to the rest of this season in 2020.

Best Battle: So far this season has almost been nothing but smashes, but perhaps their greatest accomplishment is “The Joker vs Pennywise,” which manages to play off the relevancy of both killer clowns while giving us some of Peter and Lloyd’s best performances to date, with Peter in particular doing a phenomenal Mark Hamill impression. The battle is also a bit longer than usual, with each rapper getting three verses, allowing them to cram in numerous references. Joker is definitely the wittier and funnier rapper, but Pennywise has a much better flow, which honestly plays to their actor’s strengths. This is my personal favorite battle of the series.

“Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin” is honestly tied, as it also plays off the duo’s strengths and is very fun with an energetic, badass beat.

Worst Battle: A lot of people point to “Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula” for its slow pace and goofier take on Dracula, or “Ronald Mcdonald vs The Burger King” for being recycled from their “Flash in the Pan Hip Hop Conflicts of Nowadays” side series with very little in the way of improved lyrics. On both counts I disagree; I think both are good battles, with the latter being one of my favorites due to how goofy it is. So far, though, the battle that was the biggest disappointment was “Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud.” This was one a long time coming, but the payoff isn’t quite worth it. Most of the jokes on Freud’s side are incredibly repetitive, and in general his flow is weak compared to Teresa, who just absolutely kills it with creative and witty deliveries. It leads to this weird feeling of Freud being a season one character in terms of quality, which is a real shame.

Best Character:

Lloyd: Lloyd just oozes the charisma of Steve Irwin and Robin Williams when he plays them, easily making them the standout performances of this half of season six.

Peter: Peter brings his A-game as Joker, as mentioned above, but he also manages to be incredibly chilling and awesome as J. Robert Oppenheimer, easily outdoing Thanos in their rap battle. Oh snap!

Guest: This is a season of ties, it looks like, cuz Jackie Tohn as Joan Rivers and Gary Anthony Williams as Bill Cosby really change the tone of the comedian royale for the better. Cosby barely gets any lines, mind you, and spends most of the battle drugged and getting abused by Tohn’s Joan Rivers, but there’s just something hilarious about the ERB guys getting Uncle Ruckus to play a drugged-out Cosby. As for Rivers, she’s just perfect.

Worst Character: Visually, Thanos is not the best, and lyrically, Freud isn’t great, but I don’t think either of them deserves to be called ‘the worst.’ So far, this season has managed to avoid any overt stinkers.

And so we come to a close. Ten years of rap battles, ten years of growing and improvement, ten years of a rollercoaster ride of quality… it really is amazing that Peter and Lloyd have consistently managed to come back to this series and find new ways to breathe life into it. Considering their more recent videos, I can only hope they keep up this level of quality into the next decade. Here’s to another ten years of ERB!

…

Oh, alright, I’ll talk about the bonus battles. So far, there have been two: “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” came out between seasons four and five, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” came out a few months before season six kicked off to show us all that, yes, the boys were back, and they weren’t messing around. Both battles are pretty indicative of the time period they were made; “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” has that extremely high level of quality in terms of writing and characterization that season four did, and “Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg” has the sort of rejuvenated, fresh feeling the season six battles have. I will say I much prefer the former than the latter, as the latter does at least somewhat come off as an attempt to recapture the glory of “Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates,” only with two far less charismatic inventors, but it’s still pretty fun and clever in its own right. “Deadpool vs Boba Fett” is, without a doubt, one of their best battles ever, and does justice to two of the most beloved ensemble darkhorses in all of media. I can only hope any bonus battles in the future are up to these two in terms of quality.

Now with all that said… here’s to another decade of ERB! May they only continue to grow and improve in the 2020s!

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