#there's so many good twilight zone episodes to pick from but these are my top ten

[goryhorroor]

horror & sci-fi • favorite twilight zone episodes

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 60s

So the 60s is the era that Wandavision pulls most heavily from for it’s inspiration. So much so that one could make the argument that each of the first three episodes are all set in the 1960s. Episode one pulls from the early 60s with multiple Dick Van Dyke refences, episode two is very Bewitched inspired, and episode three is aesthetically very similar to The Brady Bunch which started in ‘69. As such it was hard to narrow down the list for this decade and I had to get creative in some ways. 

1. The Andy Griffith Show (1960 - 1968)

The Andy Griffith Show gets kind of a bad rap now a days for being, supposedly, a conservative’s wet dream. People claiming it as such have apparently never actually seen the series. Oh yes, it’s very much set in white rural 60s America and will occasionally present the obliviously outdated joke, but the story of a widowed sheriff being the only sane man in a small town full of lovable lunatics, who prefers to solve his and others problems with negotiation and hair brained schemes as opposed to violence has far more in common with modern day Steven Universe than whatever genocidal fantasy fake rednecks have in their heads.  

As the gif above shows Andy Griffith was very subtlety progressive for its time. Andy was a stanch pacifist, pro-gun control, treated drug addicts and prisoners with respect, and all the women he would date had careers, ect. and so on. It’s not a satire making any sort of grand political statements but the series had a moral center that was far more left than many realize. 

But if it’s not a satire, then what type of comedy is it? 

The Andy Griffith Show excels in what I like to call, ‘awkward comedy’. See everyone in Mayberry is far too nice to just come out and tell a character they’re making an ass of themselves, so therefore whoever is the idiot punching bag of the episode’s focus must slowly unravel as everyone looks on in helpless pity until said character realizes the folly of their ways and the townsfolk come together to make them feel happy and accepted once more. Wandavision takes this polite idyllic awkwardness and plays it up for horror instead of laughs.  

2. The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961 - 1966)

The creators of Wandavision actually met with Dick Van Dyke himself to pick his brain and learn how sitcoms were made back then. Paul Bentley also took inspiration from Van Dyke in his performance of the sitcom version of Vision, while Olsen stated Mary Tylor Moore had a heavy influence on her character of Wanda. But more than just being a point of homage, The Dick Van Dyke Show was hugely influential in modernizing the family sitcom and breaking a lot of the unspoken traditions and ‘rules’ of the 50s television era. It’s also just really, really funny.  

3.The Alfred Hitchcock Hour (1962 - 1965) 

Bit of a cheat here. Alfred Hitchcock Presents actually started in 1955 as a half hour anthology show, but in ‘62 the show got a revamp and was extended into a full hour tv series. I knew I wanted The Twilight Zone to be covered in my episode one recap, but ‘The Master of Suspense’ couldn’t be forgotten. While The Twilight Zone reveled in the surreal and supernatural, Alfred Hitchcock pioneered the thriller genre and made real life seem dangerous, horrifying, and other worldly.   

4. Doctor Who (1963 - present day) vs Star Trek (1966 - present day) 

Just like how westerns dominated the air waves during the 50s, science fiction was the center of the cultural zeitgeist of the 60s. From Lost in Space to My Favorite Martian, space aliens and robots were everywhere. So naturally I had to name drop the two sci-fi juggernauts that still air to this today. If you thought that the rivalry between Star Wars and Star Trek was bad then you’ve never seen a chat full of Whovians and Trekkies duking it out over who is the better monster, the Borg or the Cyberman. But which one has the more influence over Wandavision?

Well Star Trek owes it’s existence to sitcoms. As with The Twilight Zone before it, Star Trek was produced by Desilu Productions and it’s co-founder and CEO, Lucille Ball, was the series biggest supporter behind the scenes, lobbying for it when it faced early cancelation. As with all things sitcomy, everything ties back to I Love Lucy in the end. However despite that little backstory, it would seem that the series has very little to do with Wandavision itself beyond being quintessentially American. 

I would argue that Wandavision owes much to Doctor Who though. Arguably more so than any show mentioned in this retrospective. Time travel, alternate realities, trouble in quite suburbia, brainwashing, people coming back from the dead, ect... just about every trope you can find in Wandavision has also appeared in Doctor Who at some point. As a series that can go anywhere and do anything, Doctor Who was a pioneer of marrying genres in new and interesting ways. 

5. Bewitched (1964 - 1972) and I Dream of Jeannie (1965 - 1970)

It’s hard to pick one series over another because they’re essentially the same show. A mortal man falls in love with a magical girl who upends their lives with magic filled hijinks as they try their best not to have their secret discovered by the rest of the world. And both have their fingerprints all over the DNA of Wandavision. 

There’s only two core differences; Samantha and Jeannie have completely different personalities, with Sam being confident and knowledgeable and Jeannie being naïve and oblivious, along with their relationships with their respective men, Sam and Darrin being married and in love at the start of the series and Jeannie chasing after Tony in the beginning in a will they/won’t they affair, finally only getting together in the last season. 

6. The Munsters (1964 - 1966) vs The Adams Family (1964 - 1966)

Fans of these two shows are forever sadden that there never was a crossover between them. Because they’d fit perfectly together. Both shows are about a surreal and macabre family living in American suburbia and disrupting the lives of their neighbors with their otherworldly hijinks. Sound familiar?     

The main difference between the two shows is the way the characters viewed their placement in the world they inhabit. 

The Munsters were always oblivious to the fact that didn’t fit in. They just automatically assumed everyone had the same personal tastes as them. Whenever they encountered anyone who behaved strangely around them they would write that person off as being the odd one rather than questioning themselves. As such the main cast was structured like a stereotypical sitcom family who just happened to be classic movie monsters. 

The Addams were well aware that they were abnormal and they loved it! They lived life with in their own little world and didn’t care what anyone thought of them. As such the characters were far more colorful and quirky as individuals but there was little in the way of refences to other horror franchises beyond just a general love of the twisted and strange. 

7. Green Acres (1965 - 1971) and the Rual-verse (1962 - 1971)

So the MCU is not the first franchise to bring viewers an interconnected universe to the small screen. Far from it, as sitcoms had been doing this for decades, starting with the ‘rualverse’. Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, and Green Acres were all produced by the same company and were treated as spinoffs of each other, complete with crossovers and shared characters and sets. 

Of the three, the last show, Green Acres, has the most in common with Wandavision. A well to do businessman and his lovely socialite wife settle down in small town America on a farm in order to get away from the stresses of city life, only to find new stresses in the country. Eva Gabor, herself a natural Hungarian, plays the character of Lisa as Hungarian making her one of the few non-native born Americans on tv screens during the cold war. Despite her posh nature and original protests to the move, Lisa assimilates to the rural life far easier than her husband, Oliver. Who, as the main comedic thread, can’t comprehend his new quirky neighbors’ odd and often illogical behavior.  

8. Hogan’s Heroes (1965 - 1971) and Get Smart (1965 - 1969)

So as comic fans have been quick to point out, it’s looking like both A.I.M. (Hydra) and Sword (Shield) will be players in the story of Wandavision. To commemorate that here’s two shows to represent those opposing sides. Although in truth, neither series has anything else in common with each other but I need to condense things down someway. 

In Hydra’s corner we got Hogan’s Heroes. A show all about taking down Nazis from within. 

I love, love, love, ‘robin hood’ comedies where a group of con artists try week after to week to pull one over the establishment. The Phil Silvers Show, Mchale's Navy, and Top Cat, just to name a few examples are all childhood favorites of mine. However while those shows had a lot of morally ambiguous characters, Hogan’s Heroes has very clear cut good guys and bad guys, cause the bad guys are Nazis and the show relentless makes fun of the third reich as should we all. In fact I was watching Hogan’s Heroes while waiting for the GA run off election results. Fortunately my home state decided to kick out our own brand of Nazis this year. 

For Shield, we got the ultimate spy spoof, Get Smart. Starring, Inspector Gadget himself, Don Adams, as the bumbling Maxwell Smart. Get Smart, is a hilarious send up of Cold War espionage but the real selling point of the show, imho, is Max and his co-worker 99′s relationship. You can cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife all while laughing your ass off. 

9. Batman (1966 - 1968)

First was Superman and then came Batman. Yet while Superman was a serious action show, Batman was a straight up comedy. Showcasing that superheroes could indeed be funny. 

Also shout out for Batman being the only show on this list to have an actual crossover with it’s competitor, The Green Hornet. 

10. Julia (1968 - 1971)

Since episode two features the first appearances of Herb and Monica, let’s highlight the first black led sitcom since the cancelation of Amos ‘n Andy over a decade earlier. The show focuses on single mother and military nurse, Julia, as she tries to live her life without her recently decease husband, who was killed in Vietnam, as she tries to raise their six year old son on her own.  

The series is cute. It’s more of a throw back to earlier family sitcoms where there’s no fantasy and life lessons are the name of the game. It’s the fact that the main character is a single black woman is what made the show so subversive and important at the time. 

Runner Ups

There’s much good stuff in the 60s, so here’s some others that didn’t make the cut but I would recommend anyways. 

Car 54, Where Are You? (1961 - 1963)

I call this the Brooklynn 99 of the 1960s. Bumbling but well meaning Officer Toody longs to do good in the world and help anyone in need, but often screws things up with his ill thought out schemes. He often drags his best friend and partner, the competent but anxiety riddled, Muldoon into his escapades. 

Mr. Ed (1961 - 1966)

The grandfather of the sarcastic talking pet trope. 

The Jetsons (1962 - 1963 and 1985 - 1987)

Hanna-Barbera often took popular sitcoms and just repackaged them as cartoons with a fantasy theme to them. The Jetsons has no singular show that it rips-off but is rather more a grab bag of sitcom tropes that feature, robots, computers, and flying cars. 

The Outer Limits (1963 - 1965) 

The Outer Limits was The Twilight Zone’s biggest competitor in terms of being a sic-fi/horror anthology series. 

Gillian’s Island (1964 - 1967) 

The only comparison to WandaVision I could think of was that this is a sitcom about people being trapped in one place. But by that point I was running out of room on the list. Still it’s one of the funniest shows on here. 

So yeah, this took longer than expected cause there’s a lot, here. Hopefully the 70s will be easier. Which I’ll post on Friday. 

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Back at it again with my self-indulgent comic posts. This time! It’s Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #3, perhaps the most tonally-distinct entry yet, with shades of The Twilight Zone. 

Spoilers!

So, as mentioned, this issue is the most deliberate in terms of both its pacing and its tone, IMO.

What is that tone, you ask?

To quote Alex Danvers, from “Midvale”: Hello, darkness.

THE STORY:

Kara and Ruthye are still looking for Krem Clues in the alien town of Maypole.

(Which is actually just Small Town, USA, complete with vintage 50s aesthetics.)

But the locals are clearly hiding something! So Kara and Ruthye continue to investigate, and they eventually discover what it was that the residents of Maypole were so keen to keep hidden. 

Genocide, basically. 

As I said, this issue struck me as very Twilight Zone; a genre story involving the build-up to a dark twist, all set against the backdrop of an idyllic small town. (Think, like, “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street” but instead of focusing on the Red Scare, it’s classism and racism.)

The wealthier blue aliens kicked all of the purple aliens out of town, and when space pirates showed up to pillage and plunder, the blue aliens made a deal with them: the lives of the purple aliens in exchange for their safety.  

Which is where the episodic story connects to the larger mission; it was Krem who suggested the trade, and then joined up with the Brigands (space pirates) when he was freed by the blue aliens.

The issue ends with no tidy resolution to the terrible things Kara and Ruthye discovered, but they do have a lead on where to find Krem, now, as well as Barbond’s Brigands.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

Ironically, it’s here, in the darkest chapter yet, that we get the closest to what might be considered ‘classic’ Kara. 

Which I think comes down to that aforementioned deliberate pace--this issue is a little slower, a little quieter. It gives the characters some room to breathe.

That’s not to say Crusty Kara is gone. Oh no. She is still very much Crusty. XD 

But anyways. A list! Of Kara moments I loved!

I mentioned a few of these in a prior post when the preview pages came out: I like the moment where Kara blows down the guy’s house of cards, and I like that the action is echoed later in the issue when she grabs the mayor’s desk and tosses it aside. A nice visual representation of the escalation of Kara being, like. Done with these creeps. (Creeps is an understatement but you get the idea.)

Another one from the preview pages: Kara explains to Ruthye that her super hearing won’t necessarily help her detect a lie, especially if she’s dealing with an alien species she’s not familiar with.

It not only reveals her level of competence and understanding of her super powers, it also shows that, you know. She’s a thinker. She’s smart. 

Amazing! Showing, rather than telling us, that Kara is smart! Without mentioning the science guild at all wow hey wow.

(Sorry, pointed criticism of the SG show fandom.)

Anyways.

I dig the PJs! 

And Kara catching the bullet! Not only are the poses and character acting great, it’s also a neat bit of panel composition:

We start with Ruthye’s POV, and then move to the wide shot of the room. The panel where Kara actually catches the bullet is down and to the side of the wide shot panel--we move our eyes the way her body/arm would have to move to intercept the bullet. Physicality in static, 2D images!

Also, like. It’s a very tense moment, life-or-death, but. Ruthye’s wide-eyed surprise at the bullet in Kara’s hand? Kind of adorable. 

I was pretty much prepared for the page of Kara shielding Ruthye from the gunfire to be the highlight--it was one of the first pages King shared and I was like, ‘yeah, YEAH.’ But, shockingly? The TRUE highlight of the issue?

Where do I BEGIN?!?!

EVERYTHING. About this moment. Is lovely.

From Kara holding Ruthye above the bench to explaining the concept of a piggyback ride, to telling her:

“I’m going to hold my hands here, and these hands can turn coal into diamonds, so they’re not going to let go. I’m going to keep you safe.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG.

Ruthye’s narration--about how Kara had avoided flying as she was concerned it would freak Ruthye out--just adds a whole additional layer of YES, GOOD, YES, and her line on that splash page is great: “You see, all that time, she was worried about me.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG. AGAIN.

To say nothing of the STELLAR ARTWORK.

And SPEAKING of that stellar artwork, Evely and Lopes continue to knock it out of the park. Each issue is distinct and beautifully crafted, a true joy to look at.

Before I jump into more of the art, a few final notes of character stuff in general.

Ruthye is the one most affected by the experience in Maypole, as she can’t comprehend how a society of people that look so nice and gentle and peaceful could have been party to such a horrible act.

One of the big criticisms of the book thus far is that Supergirl is not the main character, and I guess I can agree with that observation. Typically, in Western media, the main character is the one who goes through the most change in the story. 

And, yeah. That’s Ruthye.

As I was reading the end, where Ruthye sits on the curb and Kara hugs her, I was imagining how the scene would’ve played, had King stuck with the original idea for the series: Kara as the one learning to be tough/experiencing all of this for the first time, and while I think that could certainly work...

I continue to appreciate that King literally flipped the script; that Kara, especially in this issue, is like, ‘I’ve seen this, I know this,’ as opposed to being the one going through a loss of innocence.

*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat!

Because Kara’s been a teen in DC comics for so long--ever since she was reintroduced to the main DCU continuity, actually--so this is all brand new territory, here. Having an older Kara who’s SEEN SOME STUFF.

(Alsoooooo, since Bendis made the destruction of Krypton not just inaction and climate disaster, but rather, genocide, and the subtext of a Kryptonian diaspora text, the waitress’ derogatory comment regarding the the destruction of Kryton, as well as Kara picking up the bad vibes the entire time, suggests not just a broad commentary on discrimination in all its forms, but specifically allegorical anti-Semitism. The purple aliens being forced out of their homes and into substandard living conditions, then the blue aliens--their neighbors and once-fellow residents--essentially allowing the space pirates to kill them, making them literal scapegoats, Kara discovering the remains of the purple aliens, and Ruthye’s horror at the ‘banality of evil’...yes. A case could be made, I think.) 

(Which would probably require a post unto itself and a lot more in-depth discussion, nuance, and cited sources.)

(Should mention that King has brought up that both he and Orlando--the other Supergirl writer he talked to--are Jewish, and for him personally, that shaped his views on Kara’s origin story.)

I guess my point is that this issue is perhaps not as out-of-left-field as some might think, and just because there isn’t as obvious an arc for Kara, doesn’t mean there isn’t some sharp character work at play. 

(I could be WAY OFF, of course, and I’m not suggesting it’s a clear 1:1 comparison. I’d actually really love to hear King talk about this issue in particular.)

Anyways.

Here’s the final page, which I think works, because as I mentioned before, there is no easy answer/quick wrap-up to the story of Maypole:

THE ART:

I mean. How many times can I just shout ‘ART! AAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!’ before it gets old?

I dunno, but I guess we’re gonna FIND OUT.

There are some panels in this issue that I just. Like ‘em! From a purely artistic standpoint! Because they’re so good!

Like, I just really love the way Kara is drawn in that top panel. Her troubled, confused expression, the colors of the fading light, the HAIR. 

Evely draws the best hair. I know I’ve said this before. I don’t care. I will continue to say it, because it continues to be true.

The issue I find myself running up against when I make these posts is that I really don’t want to post whole pages, as that’s generally frowned upon (re: pirating etc.) but with something like this, you just can’t appreciate it in panel-by-panel snippets.

(Guided View on digital reading platforms is a BANE and a POX I say!)

Anyways.

LOVE the implied movement of the cape settling as Kara speeds in and stops. 

And, obviously, Kara flicking the bullet away is just. A+. 

And the EYES, man. LOPES’ COLORS ON THE EYES???!?! BEAUTIFUL.

Also, should note the lettering! The more rounded letters for the ‘WOOSH’ of Kara’s speed (and, earlier, the super breath) work nicely, and contrast with the angular, violent BLAMS of the gunshots. 

And, I gotta say, the editor is doing a really great job of not cluttering up the artwork with all the caption boxes. Which is no small task.

(I assume the editor is placing them, as editors usually handle word balloon/caption box placement, but I suppose it could be Evely? Sometimes the artist handles it. Either way, whoever’s taking care of all the text, EXCELLENT WORK! BRAVO!)

Okay I think that’s everything.

Ah, nope, wait.

MISC.

Just a funny observation, more than anything else: Superman: Red and Blue dropped this week, and King had a story in there, “The Special” (which was very good, btw.) Both Lois and the waitress swear a lot so I’m beginning to think that this is just how King writes dialogue for any adult character who isn’t Clark. XD

This is absolutely a personal preference but when Kara was like, “And my name IS Supergirl,” I was like nooooo. I know King is trying to simplify all of the conflicting origin stories and lore but I LIKE KARA DANVERS, SIR. XD

It’s almost assuredly a cash-grab/an attempt for DC to get all the money it can out of a book they don’t have much confidence in, but I like the cardstock covers! Very classy, much Strange Adventures.

(OH my gosh, can you imagine that issue 1 cover with spot gloss???? Basically the only way you could possibly improve on it.) 

Okay NOW I’m done. For real. XD NEXT TIME: Kara and Ruthye go after Krem and the Brigands!

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

Part two of my AU! You should start with But What If, Instead, or you may be a little confused. Or just dive in, that's cool too. Be a sexy rebel. It's what BJ would want.

He’s sixteen when green starts to grow on his face. He’s been dealing with the hair for years, now, and it’s mostly stable. Sure, he gets overwhelmed, and sure, it can still change quickly, but it’s not like when he was twelve and threw fits all the time that resulted in fire engine red. He wouldn’t say he’s the best at handling anger, for sure, for sure, for sure. That award will probably always go to his mother, Emily. But he’s gotten better at treating everything like a joke, which totally helps. Can’t get mad at what you don’t take seriously, right? It’s a philosophy that seems to frustrate his dad, who, in Betelgeuse’s opinion, takes everything way too seriously. Chuckster is lucky he’s got Emily to balance him out, or that case of stick in ass might have become terminal. So, yeah, alright, the green. He’s been growing facial hair lately, a thin pathetic little pencil mustache that nine year old Lydia calls his “creepo-stache,” and he’d be the first to admit, it’s pretty John Waters-esque, but it’s what he’s got, for now. That hair, of course, grows in green, and mixed with the corpse purple untertones he still hasn’t quite learned to glamour away convincingly, the effect is that he perpetually looks like he’s ready to put on a zombie remake of a 70’s porno. Metaphors sure are fun. At least the upper lip is starting to fill out, and the chin scruff has been on the rise, too, though he’s a far cry away from Charles’ majestic beard. He’s staring in his bathroom mirror after a shower, admiring his chubby, totally sexy self, when he notices a splotch of green on the left side of his nose. He smooshes his nose down a little with one hand, leans in closer, and squints. Must be somethin’ he ate? On his nose? For some reason? But then he notices there’s the same slight green color at his temples, too. He settles on scrubbing his face until his skin hurts a little, and when he’s done, he’s so flushed he can’t see the color, and assumes the matter is settled. And then a few days later, it’s darker. He’s sitting at dinner with the whole family, chewing with his mouth open to annoy Lydia, who gives him a swift kick to the shin under the table. “Now, if you ever hit me, and I find out about it,” he starts to tease, until he feels his mom flick his ear, and he turns to her. “You got some schmutz on your face, Bug. Come here.” Emily blots her napkin to her tongue, and then wipes at his nose, much to his chagrin. “Ew, seriously? Maaaaa,” he whines, but everyone at that table knows he’s soaking up the attention like a sponge. “I for sure feel so much cleaner with your spit smeared around my face, thank you so much, Emily Deetz.” Emily shooshes him and continues rubbing, but her napkin comes away clean. “Huh,” she glances down at it, and then back to the spot on the side of his nose, and squints. Lydia and Charles are leaning in too, now, and his sister grins. “There’s some on his forehead, mama, get him there,” and she’s successful in weaponizing their mother against him, because he hardly has time for a “Damn you-” before Emily is rubbing at the green stains on his temples, near his hairline. “What the heck is this, ink?” “I dunnoooo!” he winges, wiggling just enough to let her know he’s unhappy but not enough to flail and hurt her. When she finally relents and lets him go, a third hand sprouts from his back to pull the “hood” part of his black and white striped hoodie over his head, and he tightens the draw strings. “No more smearing spit on BJ, now, that part of dinner is done,” he says defensively, and Emily has the sense to look a little sheepish. “Sorry, Bug,” she pats his head, and he hisses in response, but no one, not even him, takes that seriously anymore. It’s a few more days until there’s a break in the case. He’s standing upside down on his bedroom ceiling, concentrating on a certain riff on his ukelele, and Lydia is flopped on his bed, passively watching Coraline on the beat up vintage TV he and Charles spent last summer fixing up. “I can’t get this to sound right,” he complains to her, and in response,

she turns the movie up louder. “Oh, haha, my sister, the fuckin’ comedianne, she’ll be here all week, everybody,” and he flops on the mattress next to her, which makes her bounce a bit before they both settle. He’s laying on his back, ukulele on his chest, mumbling and strumming, and she’s on her stomach, watching that kinda horny scene where the nude old lady with the huge honkers unzips her fuckin’ skin, when she glances over at him. “Your face spots are fuzzy, now,” she comments. “It’s called a beard, short stack. Dad’s had one since you were five, you’d think-” “Shut up, dummy, I meant the schmaltz.” “You mean the schmutz. Different words mean different things.” “Whatever. Your nose is growing hair, like grandpa. It’s barforiffic.” He frowns, and sets the ukulele down besides his bed, and conjures himself a little hand mirror from his pocket dimension. Lydia’s breath hitches, because no matter how many years it’s been, she still loves that trick, the way it’s like he’s pulling something out of nothing. He stares at the splotches in his hand mirror, beholding his face in mock horror like that episode of the Twilight Zone, the one with the pig faced people. All other details aside, she’s right, the splotches are growing hair, sort of. It doesn’t feel exactly like hair, when he reaches an experimental finger to poke at it, it’s sort of.. He can’t describe it. Grassy? Not really hair, more like a short, fuzzy… “It’s moss,” he realizes, positioning the mirror to check his forehead, where the vegetation is growing softly there, too. “Gross. How often do you shower, you neanderthal?” Lydia scrunches up her nose at him. “Careful, or you’re getting a face full of demon pits when you’re tryna sleep tonight,” he bites back at her. “I shower a normal amount. Maybe..” sharp teeth worry his bottom lip as he thinks. “I’m showering too much?” “That can’t possibly be your take away from this.” “Well I don’t know, Ly-dee-uhh,” he drags out her name. “It’s not like I’ve got a handy dandy guide to being an undead demon thing tucked away that explains all the rules that come with bein’ me, okay? I’m just thinkin’, I could count as dead cause, ya know. No heartbeat. Dead people probably.. I mean plants might grow on em, right? Like if one was left murdered and unburied in th’ world, like in a damp forest, and surrounded by nature, maybe somethin’ would grow on their putrid, rotting corpse flesh?” Lydia sits up, and leans over him, pushing the hand mirror out of the way. “I’m picking this off of you so I don’t have to hear about it anymore,” she says, simply, and then uses her surprisingly strong kid strength to dig into the runny splotch on his left temple. She runs a nail up his skin, scraping at him, and he purrs in response, tongue flicking out of his mouth, snake like. “Big scary demon dead guy, and all it takes to tame him is a little bit of attention,” she teases, and he gives another half hearted hiss. “You’re like a cat, BJ.” When she’s finished, she cleans under her nails and looks pleased. “I think I got it,” she nods, and he checks in his hand mirror. They both watch in silence as the moss seems to instantly grow back. “Moooooom!” he whines, sitting up and tossing the hand mirror over his shoulder, where it disappears into nothing without touching the ground, tucked back safe in his pocket dimension. Emily pokes her head in a moment later. “Yeah, what’s up, Beej?” She’s got her long blonde hair all done in a neat bun, and there’s the slight tone of exasperation to her voice. “You kids aren’t fighting, right?” she asks, stepping into the room. “I am literally just sitting here,” Lydia motions to the tv, still displaying the stop motion exploits of her current idol and role model. “The green crap on my face, it’s moss!” Betelgeuse whines to her, outright ignoring her question to begin with. “I’m growing moss on my face, and Lyds scraped it off but it instantly grew back!” “It was kinda cool,” Lydia admits, not giving her older brother the satisfaction of looking at him when she says it. Emily,

meanwhile, puts a finger on her chin, and scrunches up her nose in thought. “Maybe.. Some weed killer might get rid of it?” she suggests, clearly unsure. “So you want me to drink POISON,” Betelgeuse instantly flops back on the bed, left hand thrown over his forehead, all dramatic. “Lured me into the family just to try and murder me years later, huh? You fooled me! With love!” He opens his eyes in time to see both Emily and Lydia rolling theirs. “You can’t just magic it away?” Lydia pokes the moss on his nose. “The way you did your last report card?” “Judas,” he hisses, dropping the glamour enough to glare at her with his snake slit amber eyes. “You did what?” ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` He’s back at school on Monday with a bandaid fix, which is literally a couple band aids across the spots, one plastered on his nose, the other one a large patch bandage on the spot on his temples where the green was growing in the most clearly. The bandages noticeably don’t blend in with his skin tone, despite touting themselves as flesh colored, because he’s got skin like a guy who never left his basement, and also is freshly fuckin’ dead. For extra cover, he’s wearing his “Guide” hat, a ratty gray policeman’s cap with a metal plate spelling out the word. Charles had bought for him from a Goodwill his first year up top. It does enough to hide the streaks of green, as long as he pulls it down a bit, and he’s not exactly known at school for being a style icon, so nobody thinks twice to see him wearing it, as he slips from the front seat of Charles’ car that morning. “Have a good day, son. Call me if.. If you need me,” Charles reminds him, and Lydia pipes up from the backseat. “Later, Bug beverage. Good luck.” She’s still feeling a bit guilty about snitching, apparently, because she blows him a kiss, which is super uncool and she clearly wants to take it back the second she’s done it, but he grins and pretends to catch it. “Later, family,” he closes the car door, and turns to face his day. School, he had learned a few years ago, is a uniquely breather torture experience thought up by the old to make the young loose out on their precious youths, there by getting back at them for being young and fun. That was his working theory all through his miserable first year of middle school, and high school is not disproving that theory in the least. He’s vaguely aware of the cliques that the breathers his age form, and there’s probably gossip about him, but for the most part, he’s just too weird for most of the humans his age to engage with him. He’s kind of got an aura, an indefinable something he can’t switch off, and it’s getting stronger the older he gets. Breathers are naturally more wary of him than they used to be. So yeah, he is the weird chubby kid in the striped hoodie and matching tripp pants, and under normal circumstances, he has to believe that would lead to bullying, but whatever ancient animal instinct these kids have, it tells them to steer clear of him. So school is, to put it frankly, lonely. It’s probably better to be mostly ignored than hated, he supposes, but that doesn’t make eating lunch in the quad by himself every day any less pathetic. He’s zoning out in first period, relaxing in his slacker seat in the back of the class, when things actually get interesting. Their teacher is a sort of slim, nervous looking man who teaches history, but right at that moment he’s announcing a new student. And it’s someone Betelgeuse recognizes, though he can’t place from where. The new boy, Kevin something Loh, apparently, is directed to take the only empty seat in the class, the seat right in front of Betelgeuse. As Kevin is walking down the aisle towards him, Betelgeuse is wracking his brain, trying to recall. Kevin is Asian, with high cheekbones and short black hair, carefully and deliberately styled. He’s also staring right at Betelgeuse. “You?” he whispers, sounding horrified. “Me,” Betelgeuse responds, propping his history book up on his desk and slumping down behind it, deciding he’s

fully content with napping this period away, and leaving this mystery unsolved. But Kevin is apparently worse at reading social cues than BJ is, because he’s still standing there, looming over Betelgeuse. “What are you doing here?” he hisses, sounding angry now, and Betelgeuse peaks up at him, amber eyes shining a faint amount from under the brim of his cap. “I am literally just sitting here.” “Mr. Loh, is there a problem?” their teacher askes, and the new kid whips around. “I refuse to sit next to this thing.” He points at Betelgeuse, who straightens up, a scowl playing across his features. “You wanna rephrase that?” the demon askes, gravely voice particularly dangerous sounding, because he’s NOT a thing. The humans all take note of the changing vibes in the room, growing uncomfortable. “Does someone want to switch with Mr. Loh, and sit in front of Mr. Deetz instead?” their teacher tries. The answer is silence. No one is giving up their seat next to friends to sit in front of the loner who smells like freshly dug grave dirt. “Well, then. Sit down, Mr. Loh. Mr. Deetz does not bite.” “But-” “Yeah, sit down, Kev, you’re interrupting my mid morning nap,” Betelgeuse scowls, fingers on his right hand twitching, and Kevin falls into his seat with a less than macho sounding yelp. From the glare he gets in return, he’s got a feeling Kevin’s not gonna be his new bff. When lunch rolls around, Betelgeuse finds his usual place in the quad, under the shade of a tree, and he’s about to summon forth his lunch from his little pocket dimension, when he hears a breather approaching from behind him. He’s sitting on the side that faces away from the main area, and all the happy friend groups enjoying their lunches and gossip, and towards the track field, cause if he’s gonna be sitting alone, at least he’s gonna get to watch boys and girls his age work up a sexy sweat. From a quick smell test he can tell the person approaching is Kevin. The guy reeks of some overly applied body spray mess, and it nearly puts him off his lunch. “What,” he groans, annoyed, not even looking back to address the other boy, and Kevin seems to freeze. He’d apparently thought he was being pretty sneaky. “Why are you following me?” is the first thing out of the new kid’s mouth, and that does actually cause Betelgeuse to turn and look at him, staring like Kev’s just proposed the earth is only round because Atlus keeps reinflating it to use like a blow up doll. “I,” Betelgeuse gestures very dramatically to himself. “Don’t knoooow,” he continues slowly. “Who you are.” Kevin, for some reason, seems to wilt a bit. “You really don’t remember me?” “I really don’t. Should I? You do somethin’ interestin’? Besides, single handedly keep Axe body spray in business?” “It’s not Axe!” Kevin stomps over to stand in front of him, offended. “Then axe it, my man, cause that scent is not workin’ for you,” Betelgeuse replies easily, leaning back against the tree to resume his track practice spying. “You juggled your head!” Kevin accuses him. Betelgeuse cocks an eyebrow, and his eyes flit back to Kevin. So he’s someone who had seen him use his powers, at some point? Yeesh. “You brought a field of pumpkins to life and nearly murdered me!” Ohhhh. “Yeah, well, you pushed me down,” Betelgeuse says, suddenly remembering. “So I guess we both suffered that day, didn’t we, Kev?” “So you admit it!” Kevin says tenselely, before sitting in the grass across from him. Betelgeuse watches him quietly. The breather seems confused. “Why are you here?” he asks, and Betelgeuse nods over at the bouncing, glistening track team. “The view.” Kevin glances in that direction and rolls his eyes. “Jackass, I meant at school,” he dead pans. Betelgeuse grins. “Well, th’ way my dad explained it, I have to be in government mandated kid jail, or else he goes to adult jail.” “So you’re a monster who has to go to school?” “Demon, but. Yeah.” Kevin’s eyes widen, and he whispers the word. “Demon.” There’s a beat as he ponders over that. “Those people, who were with you at the store.. Are they demons

too?” “What? Th’ Deetzs? Nah. They’re human as they come.” “And you live with them?” “Yup,” he pops the “p,” quickly growing annoyed with this line of questioning. “And they-” “Listen, man,” Betelgeuse apparates his lunch from nothing, which causes Kevin to flinch, before realizing it's just food. “Can we skip all this? It’s a life changing revelation for you, I’m sure, but forget bored stiff, this is giving me rigor mortis. Yes, I’m a demon. I go to school here cause I’m th’ Deetz’s son, and no, there’s nothing wrong with them.” He grimaces. “Just me. I’m not following you around to torment you, you’re not that special. And yes,” he holds up the sandwich from his lunch. “This is a turkey club on a croissant. My human dad packed it for me, because he loves me.” There’s a small moment of silence. Kevin opens his mouth, and Betelgeuse, own mouth now full of food, groans. “Why do you have bandages all over your face?” “Because I murdered a pedophile four years ago and his vengeful, freak ass ghost won’t let it go.” “Really?” “No. That’s not even how ghosts work. God, breathers are so gullible.” “You’re such a dick,” Kevin replies, but there’s a faint hint of a smile, there. Betelgeuse feels it tugging at his own lips, too. “I’m growing moss on my face,” he admits after a moment. “Wasn’t sure how else to keep it hidden, so. Bandages. Not that I really care what people think-” “I can tell from the tripp pants, yeah,” Kev interjects, and Betelgeuse flips him off before continuing. “I’m not trying to get a bunch of attention for being weird.” “Didn’t seem to bother you before,” Kevin comments, picking lazily at the grass around him, and Betelgeuse shrugs. “I was twelve. I’ve gotten a bit smarter, even if I was dragged kickin’ an’ screamin’ th’ whole damn way,” and this time, Kevin actually does smile. He mimics the other boy. He offers Kevin half his sandwich, and for the first time ever, he doesn’t eat lunch alone. They wait after school together, watching as their peers are picked up or loaded onto buses. “I used to have nightmares about you,” Kevin tells him, and Betelgeuse smiles flirtatiously. “So you’ve been dreamin’ of me. That’s hot.” He receives a punch in the arm for that. When his mom pulls up, with Lydia in tow in the backseat, he throws open the front passenger side door of the car. “Hey, ma, hey Lyds,” but Emily is looking past him. “BJ, is that a friend of yours?” She sounds thrilled. He turns and looks at Kevin, then back to her, and shrugs, but he’s smiling. “I dunno. He’s new, so we hung out at lunch, an’ talked. Maybe. I dunno.” “You should invite him over!” Emily grins, eyes shining. “Now?” “Now! We’re having take out for dinner, we could order more for him, easy! And he’s new, he probably doesn’t have any plans, and-” “Alright, alright, hold on,” he gripes, then waives Kevin over. The breather approaches the car, cautious. “Hey, so my mom, she says you can come over for dinner, if you want,” and God/Satan, he’s never felt more like an awkward, pimply faced teen than he does at that exact moment. If he sounds like a total loser, at least Kevin doesn’t seem to mind, cause he perks up. “Let me call my dad!” he whips out his cell phone so fast, Betelgeuse feels flattered. He actually wants to come over. He wants to spend some time together. Emily’s smile widens until she looks like a slasher on happy pills, and he climbs into the car front seat and nudges her. “Play it cool, ma,” he all but begs, and she looks to him. “I’m super cool, BJ. I’m a cool mom. Right, Lyds?” Lydia gives her best noncommittal shrug, the one Betelgeuse taught her, actually. “He said yes!” Kevin comes jogging back over to the car a minute later. “If that’s really okay, Mrs. Deetz?” “For sure! The more, the merrier!” They moved out of the apartment a little over a year ago. The new place had been a nightmare when they’d moved in, a Tudor style house with a lot of character, a lot of leftover trash, and a lot of bugs. He’d set about fixing that instantly, hunting down the tasty snacks, and Emily had stood in the middle of

the mess, chewing her bottom lip, and thinking. “I know, I know, it’s rough,” Charles had stood there, suddenly looking older than his age in a way Betelgeuse did not like. “But it’s a beautiful old house, with good bones, and room to grow, and.. It’s going to be a lot of work.” Lydia, precocious and eight, shuffled between her parents, and wrinkled her nose. “It’s a dump,” she declared, and both the adults looked down at her. “It’s not a dump,” Emily said. “It’s The Great Pacific Garbage Patch.” “Em!” Seemingly ignoring her husband, she turned and went back to the car, and didn’t return until she had her record player and a sample of her collection of vinyl with her. “BJ! Come give this a shock, please? The power’s not on yet.” Betelgeuse apparated at her side, a new trick he’d been practicing, and Emily, ever Emily, didn’t even flinch. She just patted his head, as he grabbed the cord and gave it a shock of green static. She placed a record in the player, and adjusted the needle. The familiar sounds of Calypso began to fill the house. “Let’s clean up,” Emily smiled, and, singing along and dancing and laughing, the family had begun their first of many clean ups. It’s a nice memory, one he looks back on often. They’re pulling up to the house, Kevin in tow, and despite the unease he feels at having a new person in his space, at least their house, full of love, is a comforting energy to be wrapped in.

They lead Kevin in, and he follows Betelgeuse up to his bedroom.

“So, we got your common bedroom items,” he gestures grandly as they enter his space. “Dead rat, TV, dresser, mirror for inter dimensional travel, severed head for juggling,” he acknowledges that moment in their shared history. “Old trunk full of demon secrets,” he gives the antique steamer trunk by the foot of his bed a kick. It pops open to reveal very normal looking magazines. “All that good stuff.” The wall paper he chose for his room is a black and white pinstripe that dad had called “busy,” and mom had called “him,” and Kevin blinks a bit in surprise. “You, uh, really are dedicated to the stripes, huh? I prefer a simple black myself.. Black is always a statement.” Betelgeuse snorts. “It’s my pattern,” he says, and Kevin sort of nods, clearly not getting it. He tries again. “It’s, you know, important?” Kevin glances at him, and nods again, but seemingly more hesitant. “It’s a demon thing,” Betelgeuse says finally, tired of even his own clunky attempts at subtly. “My animal is a snake,” he explains. “And my colors are black and white.” Kevin looks mystified. “So, what does that… mean?”

“Means it’s my aspect. It’s important.. Demon stuff.”

The teens look at each other. Kevin squints. “You don’t know what it means.” “I got no fuckin’ clue,” Betelgeuse admits, flopping on his back in the air and hanging there, reclining on nothing. “It’s somethin’, somethin’, dominion over th’ beasts that crawl on their bellies, foul an’ tainted, I think was th’ phrase. But I don’t usually get many chances to be around snakes, so it’s not a talent I get to practice much.” Kevin looks insanely jealous of the way he’s floating there, weightless, which was exactly the point Betelgeuse had in mind when he struck the floating pose to begin with. “Point bein’, I’m drawn to black an’ white.”

“Same way you’re drawn to sweaty track stars?” Kevin smirks, and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Fuckin’ exactly,” Betelgeuse grins at him, a smile Kevin matches. He might be out of his mind, but he feels something here. Kevin’s a good looking guy, and Betelgeuse isn’t exactly “picky.” He’s known for a long time his exact type is “someone who will give Betelgeuse attention and affection,” without worrying what exactly that means in the long run. “Gross,” rings a female voice, and the prolonged eye contact between the teens is broken by his nine year old sister, leaning against the door frame. She takes in the scene before her, him floating there, and Kevin.. Kevin seemingly looking a little flustered on the bed. He’s not sure if she gets what that’s about, hell, he hardly does, though he likes it. But she’s a bit young to pick up on romantic vibes, he thinks. Hopefully. “You’re not even trying to hide the whole, being a demon thing, are you?” she scowls. “Whatever, he already knew. He recognized me from the pumpkin patch. You probably don’t remember, you were five, but-” “I remember.” She squints, and then looks at Kevin, who gives a little waive. “What exactly are your intentions with my demon brother?” she asks, crossing her arms. Kevin actually blushes, a reaction Betelgeuse can both see and smell. Smells like blood and hormones, and it’s cute… he’s cute. “He’s just… weird. I’m, you know.. I just wanna know more. About him, and demons, and this otherworldly, supernatural business.” Ah. A little disappointing. He tries not to look let down, but he knows Lydia catches the look on his face. God/Satan, she’s a clever kid. “BJ isn’t your personal encyclopedia of paranormal bullshit. Besides, he hardly knows anything.” “Fuckin’ rude.” “Well!” she throws her hands up, a gesture he recognizes that she’s picked up from Emily. “I’m just saying, you don’t know enough to be that interesting.” He drops to his feet and puts a hand out, and she glares at him as an invisible force gently pushes her towards the door. “That’s enough, I think you’ve fulfilled your annoying little sibling requirements for today,” he grates at her, and she’s about out the door when Charles’ voice booms from downstairs. “Dinner!” Dinner is from Charles’ favorite Thai place, and the amount of food ordered seems to throw Kevin off guard. There’s a tall stack of delicious smelling styrofoam boxes, all of which are systematically set on the kitchen counter in a line, and the Deetz family goes through with plates, and helps themselves. It becomes clear pretty quickly that the amount ordered has more to do with who is eating, and not what they’re eating. Betelgeuse simply picks up two or three boxes instead of a plate, and settles at the table. His excuse for being a glutton has always been that his powers require a lot of energy for upkeep, but he’s not actually sure if that’s true. Also, it’s an excuse he’s never actually had to use, at least not in this house, because despite being somewhat akin to a garbage disposal in terms of food, his parents never give him any crap for eating. When he’d shown up, a skinny feral bitey little fuck, they’d been very encouraging of him stuffing his face. Now he’s older, obviously, and maybe he’s a bit chubby for his age, but it seems the entire family figures it’s better than looking starved, like he did before. He doesn’t think he’ll die if he doesn’t eat, but it feels good to have a full stomach, and he likes the way food tastes, so yes, he eats a lot. The way he sees it, it just means more B-Man to go around. Kevin, meanwhile, takes a polite amount and sits down next to him. “So, Kevin! Today was your first day?” Emily smiles brightly to the teen, who nods. “Yeah, I’m living with my dad now, so... new school,” he explains. Betelgeuse has the urge to pick up one of his boxes of food and take a cartoonish bite, like it’s a sandwich, but he doesn’t think that gag will play, right at this moment. “BJ has never brought a friend over before,” Charles says, unhelpfully. “Have too!” Betelgeuse protests, because he’s not trying to look like a total freak ass loser in front of the one person who seems

interested in talking to him.

Charles furrows his brow. “Who..? Oh, well…” he pauses. “I don’t know if.. If Sam counts…” “Sam was cool,” Lydia interjects, staring at Kevin, the unfinished half of her sentence being, “unlike you.” He’s got no clue why she’s gunning for Kev the way she is, but it’s kinda funny to watch a nine year old intimidate a teen. “He came over, didn’t he? Sure, it was uninvited, through a mirror, but I’m counting it anyways.” “BJ,” Charles starts, but Betelgeuse just shrugs. “It’s fine, dad. He knows. He was at the pumpkin patch.” It takes Charles and Emily a moment, but they both suddenly look nervous. “BJ is a good kid!” Emily blurts immediately, sounding defensive and looking at Kev, who sort of gives a nod. “It’s cool, I… threw tantrums when I was little, too. I mean, mine weren’t like. Cool vegetation apocalypses, but, you know.” He gives an easy shrug, before looking at Betelgeuse. “Who is Sam? Another demon?” “A better demon,” Lydia mutters, and at this point, he’s a second away from teleporting her into the neighbor’s pool. “He’s like Santa for Halloween, if Santa enforced Christmas time cheer with extreme violence.” “He’s Halloween Krampus,” Emily supplies helpfully, and he nods. “He’s the spirit of Halloween, and he’s cool. He’s only around one night, and he’s usually busy workin’, but when he gets a moment he pops in and we hang out. You’d probably-” like him isn’t exactly the right words. Humans don’t tend to feel easy in Sam’s presence. “- get along?” he finishes, but that also doesn’t seem likely. Sam isn’t outright cruel… usually. But his aura is clearly threatening, and he doesn’t play nice. The only reason Betelgeuse isn’t worried about his humans is because Sam has very clear, very structured rules. Rules that Emily had already been following, regardless of demonic threat. Also, last Halloween, Lydia had gone as Sam, orange jumpsuit, burlap sack and button eyes and everything, and Sam, ever a being of few words, had said, Flattered. He figures that probably earned the Deetz family at least one get out of murder free card. “This is all so cool,” Kevin twirls his fork around his pad phak. “It’s like, something from a movie. I can’t believe demons are.. Real. And I know about them.” There is, for a moment, a shine in his eyes that makes Betelgeuse uncomfortable, but it passes so quickly, he starts to assume he imagined it. He gives in, picks up a styrofoam box full of spicy chicken, and takes a bite out of the whole thing. His dad groans. After they’re done eating, they play video games, and whatever that moment was at dinner, he forces himself to forget it. Kevin is cute, and Kevin wants to talk to him, and that’s about as much as he cares to think about, right now. When Mr. Loh comes to pick him up, Kevin gives Betelgeuse’s hand a squeeze. It’s just the two of them, on the front porch, under the stars only he can see, because light pollution makes them invisible to the human eyes. Still, the setting feels intimate, and that hand holding cements it, at least at that moment. He’s not imagining it. “See you tomorrow?” Kevin smiles, and Betelgeuse knows his face flushes a little more purple at that. “Uh, yeah, for sure,” he says, and Kevin steps off the front porch and hurries to his dad’s car, their moment broken, but he stands there a while anyways, even after the car disappears down the street. He takes his own hand in hand, and gives it a squeeze, trying to imitate what Kevin had done flawlessly. He wanders inside after a while, but just stands with his back to the front door, replaying that simple moment over and over, until Charles, passing him on his way up to bed, pauses. “BJ? Your hair is… pink.”

[floral-and-fine]

Heaven Bent part 4

Daryl Dixon x female reader

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3

A/n: Hope y'all enjoy this next part :) Thank you, everyone, who has left comments or shown support, really helps keep me motivated to write!  Other than a few specific scenes, I’m not quite sure where this fic is going or for how long. Thank you @ewokiee​ for helping me when I was stuck, seems to have happened a lot.

Summary: The reader finds Sophia lost in the woods, too bad neither of them have any sense of direction. 

You were laying out on the grass, in front of the prison, enjoying the feeling of the sun on your skin. Turning your head, you could see a couple of walkers banging on the fence, but there wasn’t any urgency. Closing your eyes and sighing, you continued soaking in the warmth of the sun’s rays.

After months of traveling and living on the road, it seemed like finding a new home, a new safe haven was a dream of a dream.

Seeing so many houses and towns abandoned made the world seem like a shell of itself. It was almost like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

Every day you would come across something that reminded you of how things used to be, such as while rummaging for supplies in an empty home, you’d end up finding a forgotten family photo album or family portrait, and deep down you longed for that safer, easier life.

Then there were the walkers, a never-ending threat, a fear that everyone had to live with, and that worry whenever entering a new building if you turned a corner or opened a door that it could be your last.

Who would’ve believed that you’d find such comfort and peace behind a fence or behind bars?

“Hey,” a voice said as their body plopped down beside you.

“Hi buttercup,” you smiled, keeping your eyes shut.

Sophia stretched her arms above her head, looking around. “You know what this place needs,” she mused. “Flowers.”

You nodded your head, “Ah yes, big yellow sunflowers would be nice.”

“Those are pretty,” she commented.

“And useful,” you added. You could feel her giving you a skeptical look, you smiled wider. “We can roast and eat the seeds, and there are some medical uses too.”

“Are there other flowers that are helpful?”

“There are,” You said sitting up. “And lots of other plants that can be helpful too. I’ll keep an eye out for seeds next time I’m on a run. Would you like to be my helper?”

“Yes! We’ll start our own flower garden!” She said eagerly.

“Yep, I think that’s exactly what this place needs,” you murmured to yourself. You stood up and started scanning the area, trying to decide where the garden should go. “We should probably ask Rick first.”

There was a nice spot over by the east side of the prison, plenty of sunshine in the mornings and in the evening it would be nicely shaded. Water was scarce, but if you could figure out a way to collect rainwater that would help.

You turned around and looked back at Sophia, “Race you to the prison.” With that you took off running, laughing as Sophia called you a cheater.

Still giggling, you found Rick and some of the others inside the prison.

“Hey Rick,” you greeted, rocking on the balls of your feet with your hands clasped behind your back.

“Need something?” He asked, turning his attention to you.

“I was thinking of starting a small garden, over around there,” you explained, vaguely gesturing with your head. “Wanted to make sure it was alright with you first.”

“We’re going to plant flowers,” Sophia butted in.

Rick smiled and shrugged, “Don’t see why not.”

Sophia squealed beside you and you laughed, “Still have to find seeds and whatnot,” you told her. “But we can start tomorrow morning by getting the soil ready.”

…

You wiped the sweat from your brow and leaned against your shovel. The garden was starting to come along, you hadn’t found many things to plant yet, but it was better than nothing.

“So, what did you do before all this?” Glenn asked, walking over and admiring the work you had done so far.

You shrugged, “a little of this and a little of that.”

“Oh come on, that’s worse than Daryl’s answer!” Glenn complained. “Anytime anyone has asked, he always replies with its none of your goddamn business.”

You smiled, you could easily picture Daryl scowling at the question. “Well that’s probably because it is God’s business,” you joked.

Glenn laughed lightly, “still can’t believe he lets you get away with all that angel talk. It’s probably because the two of you are sleeping together.”

Your fell face at the comment, but just as you were about to question him, Hershel approached.

He was getting quick on those crutches. He smiled at the beginnings of your little project. “It’s looking good so far,” he chuckled.

You rubbed the back of your head, “I guess so. Nothing compared to your farm of course.”

…

Daryl was doing maintenance on his bow when Sophia quietly shuffled into the room.

“Mr. Dixon,” she started, standing by the door. Even after everything, Sophia was still shy around most everyone with the exception of her mother, you, and Carl.

“What is it?” He asked, focused on what he was doing.

“We’re going to be starting a flower garden, y/n and I,” she explained, smiling brightly.

Daryl nodded, still working.

She fidgeted with her necklace for a moment, moving the pendant side to side.

“Y/n was hoping to plant some sunflowers, and I was just thinking if you come across any kind of seeds you could bring them back with you, y’know? We’re hoping to plant all sorts of flowers.” She rattled off.

Daryl sighed, looking over at Sophia, who was looking at him hopefully, “Alright, if I see any I’ll bring them back.”

“Thank you!” She shrieked, giving him a quick hug.

He clenched his jaw for a moment, mulling things over, “what flowers did you say she wanted?”

“Sunflowers!” Sophia shouted as she skipped out of the room.

…

Daryl pulled up to the gates, he had left for a solo supply run just as the sun was rising. He had scoured a few abandoned homes, killed a couple of walkers, nothing too eventful or worthwhile.

You sat your tools aside, and dusted yourself off, heading over and meeting Daryl by the gate.

“Did you have any luck?” You asked.

“Not really,” he said, getting off of his motorcycle. Opening his pack he pulled out a shoebox that had probably seen better days.

“Shoes?” You questioned, lifting your brow.

He shook his head and thrust the dirty worn box into your hands. “Here,” he muttered before heading inside.

Curious, you opened the lid, finding that it was filled with seed packets inside. You bit your lip and sat on the ground. Carefully, you started going through the packets, setting aside the most useful ones.

You were bubbling with excitement over the find, if you could manage to gather enough water and get some extra help, you could have a pretty nice crop going besides just a little flower garden.

You paused, noticing underneath the top layer of packets, was a sunflower, the stem had been cut by a serrated knife leaving it rough and jagged, it was also missing a few petals, but still, it was a beautiful sight.

Looking back at the prison, you wondered if there was something you could do for Daryl in return. Most people wouldn’t have bothered even looking in this box, figuring it was probably just junk. Plus, you couldn’t even put into words how you felt over the flower.

You clutched the flower tightly, you had been meaning to do something for him for months now, even before this new surprise. You narrowed your eyes, what the hell would he even like?

...

“Guess who finally picked the lock to the warden’s office,” you sang, joining Daryl on the watchtower.

Daryl looked up at you, blinking in surprise over the dried blood on your shirt, “what the hell happened to you?”

You looked down at the stain, “Oh yeah, that, there was a walker inside, but I took care of it.”

Daryl shook his head, “you’re gonna get yourself killed doing stupid shit like that.”

“Sorry,” you sighed, feeling bad for making him worry. “But look at what I found.” You held up the fancy bottle of scotch and smiled. “Thought we could share it.”

Daryl rolled his eyes but scooted over for you to sit next to him.

You opened the bottle and took the first drink before handing it to him. Closing your eyes, you listened to the crickets and Daryl breathing. It was a cool and peaceful night, perfect for relaxing and loosening up a bit.

“Thank you for the seeds and the flower,” you said, breaking the silence.

He didn’t reply, simply taking another swig from the bottle, and staring out into the distance.

He wasn’t quite sure what motivated him to do it. The box of seeds was one thing, but searching for a Goddamn sunflower just so he could bring you one was another.

Daryl could practically hear Merle in his head taunting him, telling him he’d gone soft for some bitch. His hands balled into fists involuntarily, the thought of a Merle referring to you as a bitch pissed him off.

‘What’s a matter with you boy?’ Imaginary Merle asked. ‘Never thought l’d see my kid brother wrapped around some woman’s finger.’

Daryl leaned back, clenching his jaw, all this was unfamiliar territory, all these things he felt, the way he thought about you. Maybe he was going soft… scowling he drank more, hoping to put an end to the voice going on and on in the back of his mind.

You took the bottle from him, taking a big drink and sighing as a wave of nostalgia washed over you, “I remember getting my heart broken on a night like this, damn bastard.”

Daryl peeked over at you. You rarely cursed and you rarely seemed anything other than sweet and happy. But the bitterness and hurt in your voice were evident.

You examined the bottle in your hands, a quarter of it already gone. “I was dumb, so fucking dumb. I left home without a second thought and followed the man I loved across the country. I don’t know what I expected… marriage and babies, I guess, but instead what I ended up with was an immature manipulative dick.”

“I packed up what little I had, and left that small crappy apartment in the middle of the night... I couldn’t go back home, so I hitched a ride going as far as the driver would take me,” you wrapped your arms around yourself. “Since then my entire life could fit in one suitcase.”

Tossing your head back you took another big gulp, and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

You could easily recall that night you left, standing on the street corner feeling like a lost soul in the dark. No one to turn to, nowhere to go, it was scary but there was also a certain freedom to it. You were on your own, nothing tying you down or holding you up.

“You been on your own since then?” Daryl asked.

“Mostly,” you shrugged. “I’ve been fortunate though, met some decent people on my travels… and some interesting ones.”

You passed the bottle back to him,“I heard from the others about what happened with your brother,” you started. “Sounds like you and him have been through a lot together.”

He nodded, “Merle’s tougher than nails, none of these walkers would ever get the jump on him. He’s out there somewhere.”

“The two of you have that in common then,” You smiled. “From what I’ve gathered, it sounded like the two of you were inseparable, always having each other’s backs and whatnot.”

Daryl frowned. “Not all the time,” he corrected you.

Merle had been the first one to leave, having left Daryl behind without a second thought. This time around, Daryl didn’t have a choice, at least not in the same way.

“But I guess we’re even now,” he murmured.

“It must’ve been hard not going after him,” you commented. “But I know we’re all grateful that you stuck around. We need you.”

Daryl sighed, he didn’t regret his choice, he was needed here. But he still felt like he’d owed it to Merle to find him. They were family, blood, Merle was all he had in this world.

Taking another sip, your eyes wandered over to the beginnings of your garden.

“Y’know the best thing about my childhood home were the sunflowers that grew outside of my window,” You laughed dryly wiping a few stray tears. “Guess I’m just hoping this could be home for all of us.”

Daryl nodded, “If we’re smart, and if we’re careful, it can be.”

Resting your head on your hand, you admired Daryl, he was a handsome man, there was no doubt about that, but it was his arms and hands that stood out to you the most. There were many mornings you wished you could wake up in those arms.

You glanced at his face, your angel seemed to have a lot on his mind. You had hoped when you found the bottle of scotch it would’ve helped him relax a little.

But by now, you had enough to drink that you were feeling that buzz of confidence.

“Angel,” you whispered leaning forward, your eyes closed, and your hand reaching out to cup his face.

Immediately, Daryl placed his hands on your shoulders, stopping you from getting any closer.

There was a part of him that wanted this to happen, to pull you close and run his fingers through your hair, but there was also fear. He had never really been one for relationships, he didn’t have much experience with romance either. Not to mention, it seemed wrong to want to kiss a drunk woman.

You opened your eyes slowly, looking at Daryl full of confusion. Immediately backing away when you saw his face.

“Sorry, sorry,” you stood up, keeping your eyes downcast, unable to look at him. Your face felt like it was on fire.  “I-I should go,” you mumbled, stumbling as you took a few steps forward.

“Wait,” Daryl spoke up, grabbing your arm. “You’ll break your damn neck trying to climb down drunk.”

You kept your head down but nodded trying desperately to hold back tears. You were feeling absolutely overwhelmed by your emotions, and your inebriated state making it harder to control them.

“I’ll climb down first,” he explained, that way if you lost your footing and slipped and he could try to catch you.

Once you made it to the ground, you were still so flustered that you quickly wished him a good night before brushing past him and heading towards the prison.

Daryl watched as you briskly walked away, eventually climbing back up to the watchtower once you were inside. He grabbed the bottle of scotch taking one more drink before replacing the lid. He hoped he hadn’t just fucked things up.

Tag list: @twdeadfanfic​  @xaestheticalien​  @x-roscpctals-x   @amaroho​  @theonlyone-meeeee​  @mysterious-398​   @marss-anonymous​   @thecaptainsgingersnap​

[skullhaver]

It's 2021, and I'm watching Buffy for the first time.

The Virgil on my Buffy journey is my long-distance girlfriend, who has loved the show for years. We just finished season 4, and I wanted to write about my favorite episodes so far. I suspect some of my faves are beloved by most fans, but others are weird, personal picks. Buffy fandom, please don't come for me.

I thought this post would be short but I was wrong.

Hono(u)rable Mentions: "Band Candy" S3E6 and "Halloween" S2E6

Both these episodes have fun premises where the Scoobies run around Sunnydale after it was upended by zany, chaotic dark forces. "Band Candy" is fun for devil-may-care teen Giles. "Halloween" is fun for 18th-century-ditz Buffy. These are both very good, and are the sorts of episode I can imagine happily rewatching in the future. I just have more to pontificate upon for the other episodes on this list.

10. "Ted" S2E11

I can’t say I enjoyed this episode, but it did take me for a wild ride. Probably nobody else has strong feelings about this weird story where Buffy's mom dates a stereotypical cheesy family man, who turns out to be a controlling abuser, who turns out to be a robot. I remember shouting at the screen, "Did Buffy just kill a human man?? Is it okay in the moral logic of this show for Buffy to kill a human if he's a direct physical threat to her??" I knew Buffy would have deeper stories than the monster of the week formula we'd seen so far, but this early in season 2, I had no idea when or how that would happen. This was the episode that finally taught me that Buffy is largely not interested in moral ambiguity, or in exploring what it means to be good or bad. Except for season-defining exceptions like Faith and Angel, evil characters are simplistically, essentially evil. But it was wild to believe for a moment that Buffy murdered her mom's abusive boyfriend and would have to live with the consequences.

9. "Helpless" S3E12

When Buffy tries to be genuinely scary, it succeeds with aplomb. The premise of this episode is dumb and contrived ("Giles has to remove Buffy's powers without her knowledge for a seeeecret test by the Watcher's Council") but the chase and fight in this episode are some of the most tense and spooky scenes of the whole series so far. Buffy's vulnerability makes the stakes feel real in a way few other episodes manage. And Buffy's victory is all the more satisfying because she can't punch her way out of this problem, she has to be smart and creative. The fridge horror, of course, is that Giles would endanger her like this in the first place, but that gets sorted out over the emotional arc of the next few episodes.

8. "I Only Have Eyes For You." S2E19

Another spooky episode, this one a classic ghost story of forbidden love ending in murder - but with the twist that the ghosts possess people's bodies to have them reenact their final moments. I love stories about breaking a doomed-to-repeat cycle. I love weird shit like the snakes manifesting in the cafeteria. And I really loved the choice to have Buffy and Angel come to understand their feelings about their own relationship by embodying these ghosts - especially how they embodied different genders than their own to better fit the "roles" of the haunting story, thus subverting the expected pattern. I found this episode clever, poignant, and effective.

7. "Who Are You?" S4E16

"Faith and Buffy switch bodies" is a wild premise, but the real joy of "Who Are You?" is watching Sarah Michelle Geller being an extremely talented actress for 45 minutes, portraying a totally different character. Watching Faith confronted by kindness and love from Buffy's mom, Riley, and her friends, then getting launched into an existential crisis over it is so great. Also, I just dig a good church fight.

6. "Hush" S4E10

As stated above, love an episode that reminds me that these people are talented actors! Featuring demons that render all of Sunnydale unable to talk, we get to watch great physical comedy right next to tense, silent fight scenes. The visual creepiness of the Gentleman and their straight-jacketed weird little helpers is hard to beat. "Hush" is such a clever episode that it ascends monster of the week status to become almost Twilight Zone-esque. Also, for the first time, Buffy sees Riley doing his Initiative thing, and Riley sees Buffy being the Slayer, but they can't talk about it?? That's good shit.

5. "The Wish" S3E9

Both "Something Blue" and "The Wish" feel like the writers decided to use fanfic premises on their own show... so obviously I like them a lot. But getting to watch a dark timeline AU with interesting world-building and attention to detail, a hilarious and horrifying Cordelia POV, AND a smirking kinky vampire Willow? Hello?? And the fact that the Wishverse comes up again in "Doppelgänger" (another truly fun episode) only improves my opinion. I imagine this is the kind of episode fans simply love coming back to.

4. "Restless" S4E22

This David Lynch-ass dream sequence was a weird choice for a season finale, but an extremely ambitious and cool episode. I should say up front that I love David Lynch-ass dream shit. There were creative and well-executed scene transitions as characters moved seamlessly from one dream room into another. Several memorably neat shots - Willow running between endless curtains as she tries to get onstage, Buffy alone in a vast desert with a weirdly high camera angle. And I got myself all excited thinking that the First Slayer would maybe become a different kind of antagonist - maybe not even fully revealed in this episode, or maybe an Id-like aspect of Buffy herself. But I forgot Whedon gonna Whedon, so the First Slayer had to be someone Buffy could punch in the end. And the First Slayer is sadly yet another primitive-themed, emotionally-stunted character of color for this show. Most of her lines in this episode are literally voiced by a white woman speaking for her, and of all the dumb quips to make, Buffy had a line about her hair being unprofessional? Also, I'm a lesbian, so the fact that the most explicit act of intimacy between Willow and Tara this show has allowed us to see occurs in Xander's horny dream sequence... it’s unforgivable, Joss. This episode was one of my favorites ever, deeply marred by some bad writing choices.

3. "Lovers Walk" S3E8

Spike, perhaps the best non-Willow character in this show, is back in Sunnydale, a hilariously heartbroken mess of a man, hell-bent on getting his former girlfriend Drusilla back. (Drusilla left him for a fungus demon.) So Spike breaks into a magic shop to get ingredients for a love spell, where he runs into Willow, who is getting ingredients for a de-lusting spell, because she is worried she and Xander will be too thirsty to behave appropriately in public with their actual partners, Oz and Cordelia. This is a hilarious moment just to exist. This is all the episode needed to do to satisfy me. But the fact that Spike then kidnaps Willow, and it ends with tragic stakes of everyone's relationships coming apart, not to mention me genuinely thinking Cordelia was dead for a minute there - wow. Chef’s kiss. The episode is balanced shockingly well between Spike being an ominous villain, and being the sort of lovable semi-evil (more gremlin-like) side character he'll become in season 4. What a wild ride.

2. "Graduation Day" S3E21-22

I'm counting this two part season finale as one because it's my list and I'll do what I want. "Graduation Day" feels like a quintessential Buffy episode executed to perfection. It has Buffy reaffirming her position as a moral heroine, sacrificing her own blood to save Angel's life even when she thought she had to kill Faith to save him. It has Buffy and Faith (or Buffy/Faith, as I prefer to think of them) getting to square off in a dramatic, tough fight. It has a lot of Mayor Wilkins, a character I truly adore for some reason. Nothing like a public administrator who plays mini golf in his office, wants you to chew with your mouth closed, and will kill a graduating class of high schoolers to gain immortality. The catharsis of the whole school getting to fight back against evil, instead of just Buffy against the world - a real joy. This episode misses the top spot for two reasons. "A special vampire poison and the only cure is the blood of a Slayer" is too contrived for me to let slide, and also I had to see Cordelia and Wesley kiss.

1. "Becoming" S2E21-22

Buffy’s season finales really do have good stories and satisfying payoff. First off, Buffy starts this episode by punching a cop and fleeing from the law. Later, Spike also punches a cop. A.k.a., Buffy said blue lives don't matter. Second - I haven't gotten a chance to comment on this yet, but all throughout season 2, evil Angel is such a joy to watch. As regular Angel, David Boreanaz makes exactly one face ("I am a kicked, angsty puppy") and bless his heart, it gets so tiresome. As evil Angel, he is so expressive, dynamic and terrifyingly creative in his badness. And I love his weird threesome energy with Spike and Drusilla. But also, it's so hard to watch Buffy suffer as she deals with her evil boyfriend doing evil things. Her ultimate choice in this episode, to kill Angel even as Willow's spell restores his soul, gave me some real big feels! Also, this episode marks the first moment of Willow doing big, plot-shifting magic on her own, solidifying her transformation from computer nerd to witch! 

Also, shout-out to the many good smaller moments in this episode: Spike making awkward small talk with Buffy's mom, Buffy constantly dunking on Principle Snyder, and Giles being tortured by visions of Miss Calendar (RIP Miss Calendar, I was your biggest fan.)

"Becoming" is an excellent season finale and the kind of Buffy episode I imagine I will want to re-watch in the future just for nostalgia's sake.

[keelywolfe]

Drabble: Cheap Thrills (baon)

Summary: Stretch can get a lot of entertainment out of a thrift store find.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

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Stretch loved to pick up old books at the thrift shop. There were so many gems that might get lost at a traditional bookstore, like his trusty copy of ‘How to Teach Spanish to Dogs.’

Romance novels were cheap and plentiful, and he got them by bagful for Blue, who never much seemed interested in finding his own romance but loved reading about others. Old reference books filled with outdated information that was still interesting to read about, seeing what people used to believe, until science or society proved them wrong.

Then there were specialty finds.

Stretch wasn’t even two steps through the front door before he held up his prize, announcing happily, “look what i found!”

Edge barely looked up from his laptop, “If it has even one clown on it—"

“No clowns.” That was a prize he’d be sure to stash behind the shower curtain for maximum effect.

For once Stretch didn’t mind Edge working a little overtime at home. Kept him off his feet, gave all those healing juices a chance to settle in.

But a little distraction never hurt. Stretch flopped on the sofa and settled his head right into Edge’s lap, ignoring his exasperated sigh as he held out the book he’d found.

The cover was old and stained, but the title was still readable, ‘The Congregational Cook Book’ and in small letters beneath that, ‘edited by the ladies’ aid society of the First Congregational Church of Ebott, 1915.’

He knew his baby well. As soon as Edge stopped glaring an actually looked at the book, a flicker of interest made an appearance. He set his laptop on the coffee table, ignoring Stretch’s exaggerated sputters of suffocation as his forward lean threatened to smother him with Edge’s shirt, then took the book.

“A cookbook?”

“a really old cookbook!” Stretch enthused, “like, a century old. i thought maybe you’d like to try one it out. See how it compares to the youtube generation of cooking.”

“That does sound interesting,” Edge flipped through the book, reading aloud, “Salmon omelet, no, thank you, green tomato pickles, hot water gingerbread, hm, apple tarts. I do have apples, how does that sound?”

“baby, anything you make sounds like mana from heaven.” And at Edge’s raised brow bone, Stretch admitted, “except risotto, okay, but that’s less you than a general dislike of the genre.”

Edge nudged Stretch off his lap and stood, heading into the kitchen with book in hand. Normally, Stretch would’ve tossed him a fair thee well and let him get to it, but this time, he followed Edge through the swinging door. He was sort of curious if there were any differences in a recipe from a hundred years ago to now, and hey, science, right?

Not that he planned on helping with the cooking process, he was here strictly as an observer, and he plopped down into one of the chairs that surrounded their ‘dining room table’, “so, how much longer are we eating at the card table?”

“Not long,” Edge retrieved a large bowl from under the counter and a set of measuring cups from the cupboard before tying on an apron. “I’m working on a plan for our new kitchen layout. As soon as it’s done, I’ll have the builders get started on it.”

“uh huh, no rush, i was only curious,” Stretch propped his chin on one hand. “you do have a lot on your plate right now, babe. and there’s your whole mental health assessment you still need done.”

Really, it was sort of impressive how much Stretch could glean from slightest change in his husband’s expression. A normal person would think there was no change, but Stretch was good with languages, spent years learning Edge-ese. He knew a twist of distaste when it saw it, “Yes. There is that.”

Any other comment about it was effectively blocked by Edge’s renewed focus on the cookbook, reading the recipe aloud beneath his breath. His brow bone slowly furrowed, concentration replaced with dismay. Which…it was a cookbook, not a grimoire of early twentieth century curses. Wasn’t it?

“babe?” Stretch asked cautiously, “what is it?”

“What kind of recipe is this!” Edge exclaimed. He picked up the book and read aloud, “Eggs, oil, fresh butter or lard, sugar, baking powder, as much flour as it needs. Must be soft as an earlobe, thicker than cake.”

“uh…” Stretch scratched at the back of his skull. “and?”

“That's it. That's the entire recipe. There’s no measurements, no directions, no temperature for baking!” He slapped the book back down on the counter-top. “There are no apples listed! How can this be a recipe for apple tarts without apples? How in the name of the unknown am I supposed to gauge the softness of an earlobe when I don’t have ears?”

All great questions, except Stretch was in possession of exactly zero answers. “does seem a little speciest against those of us without earlobes.”

Edge glared at the cookbook as if by his will alone answers to his questions would come, which was why Stretch was a little surprised when Edge said abruptly, "Let me see your phone."

"yeah, sure," Stretch said, slowly handing it over. Not like he had any secrets or anything and while Edge might change his own passwords at least once a month for security reasons, he’d been using the first 6 digits of Pi since he got the phone. “why?”

“Because I left mine in the living room.” Edge tapped the screen impatiently holding it out as it began dialing out over speakerphone.

A sleepy voice answered, "'lo? Wassup, Boney Marony. "

"Jeff,” Edge said, “I’m afraid you’ll have to engage in wordplay with my husband later. Right now, I need you to come over so I can feel your ears."

A long moment of silence. "That’s very specific. Okay, I'll bite, give me five."

It was more like ten minutes, with Edge sitting impatiently across from Stretch, who was engaged in a furious game of Words With Friends on his newly retrieved phone. Until the light knock came on the front door followed by Jeff shambling into the kitchen. He looked like they’d woken him from a nap, his hair was smashed flat on one side and sticking up on the other. He scratched at his t-shirt covered belly and yawned out, "You know, before I met you guys, I never got calls like this."

“sounds to me like you needed a little more excitement in your life,” Stretch said cheerily.

Edge didn’t bother with a greeting. He limped determinedly over, stripping off his gloves as he went, and without warning began to vigorously fondle Jeff’s earlobes. Jeff squeaked out a mousy sound, his eyes wide as golf balls as he stared up at Edge.

Well. Wasn’t like Andy didn’t know why he was here.

“easy, babe,” Stretch winced, “he might need a little foreplay before you go right for the lobes.”

“I’m checking his ears, not his testicles,” Edge said curtly, even as he leaned down to peer closely at the ears in question.

That remark made Stretch and Jeff speak in unison,

“holy shit, wow, just tossing that out there, huh.”

“Okay, I’m good to help a friend out, but I am drawing the line at ball grabbing.”

Edge ignored them both. He let Jeff go and limped back to his gathered ingredients, already starting to measure them into the bowl, “Thank you, Jeff, that will be all.”

Welp, that sounded like a dismissal. Stretch climbed to his feet, jerking his head towards the door. “c’mon, andy, we can take in a flick while you’re here, if you want.”

Jeff was still a little wobbly, gingerly reaching up to touch one of his well-inspected ears as he followed Stretch out, “Do I want to know what that was all about?”

Stretch shrugged, “cooking.”

“Cooking,” Jeff repeated. He mouthed it again, soundlessly, then shook his head. “I don’t even think I want to know, plausible deniability is probably better. So, he asked for me to help, why?”

“well, how many other humans does edge know that he can call up and ask?” Stretch asked reasonably. He picked up the remote and turned on Netflix. “and don’t say your honey because we both know he’d just hang up, especially without having the proper forms filled out first.”

“Glad to be the go-to guy for illicit cooking-related bodily inspections.” Jeff joined Stretch on the sofa, settling in. “Classic Twilight Zone, huh? Good choice.”

The first episode was mostly over by the time Edge came out with a tray with a half-dozen golden-brown treats that brimmed with appley goodness. Stretch and Jeff dug in, mumbling thank you’s around their mouthfuls and Stretch was already on his second one when he noticed Edge was scribbling notes. He chewed and swallowed his current bite and asked, “what are you doing?”

“Gauging your reactions,” Edge said, still writing, “I kept a close track of the ingredient measurements that I used so that I can make changes for the second batch. Are they too dry? Is the pastry tough?”

“Tastes fine to me,” Jeff said around his mouthful.

“Crisp? Chewy? Is there enough spice?” Edge persisted. The two of them did their best to answer him around bites and finally, Edge made a satisfied sound and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“Huh,” Jeff snagged another tart. “How many batches you think he’s gonna make?”

Stretch shrugged, “i do my experiments and he does his.”

“His taste better.”

“my science isn’t the kind you lick.”

“So far it hasn’t involved you groping my ears, either,” Jeff took a bite and groaned around it, “Worth it, man, but the balls are still off-limits.”

“sounds reasonable.” Stretch snagged the last tart and sank back to watch the pig-faced doctor demanding a needle to sedate his patient, happily waiting to review batch number two.

Hey, he got a snack and a show, all for the price of a thrift store book. Now all he needed to do was sneak that clown statue into the bathroom, but eh, he might wait a while on that. This was enough entertainment for one day.

-finis-

Notes:

So, the recipe in question has been slightly modified from one in a reddit post and the poster had a couple of similar questions as Edge, although their solution wasn't the same. 😂 I couldn't resist writing how Edge would react to finding such a recipe.

The ‘The Congregational Cook Book, edited by the ladies’ aid society of the First Congregational Church, 1915.’ is real enough and I own it. Some of recipes and their measurements are very interesting in comparison to what we see now!

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

APRIL PICKS!

And we’re back with new picks for the month!! Man, this has been some strange times we’re living in. I saw a post that said March felt like 300 days, while April feels like 3. I could not agree more. I’ve watched a lot this month, which isn’t a shocker due to our current circumstances. There’s a pretty big range, so there might be something here that you can check out during quarantine.

Here come the spoilers! 

THE SOCIETY

I’m going to start with my latest watch from Netflix, The Society. Wow. I really enjoyed this one. Going into it I knew it would be like a Twilight Zone meets Lord of the Flies show, but there was so much unexpected stuff that occurred. Much like Degrassi the Next Generation, they went there. The students from New Ham, Connecticut go off on a field trip, but the buses don’t get too far due to the storm. This forces them back into town only (maybe) a couple hours from when they left. No one is home when they get back. No adults, kids, or others who were not on the school trip. The town is theirs and there is no way out. At first it’s all partying, but things take a dark turn fast and the teens must come up with laws for there to be some sort of order in this new world if they want to survive and find a way back to their real home. The 10 episodes go by really fast. It leaves a nice cliffhanger for season 2 (which is supposed to be in the works, but I don’t know if Corona affected that at all). This show definitely contains a lot of surprising twists including one very early on that is hard to predict. If you have watched this show previously or are interested in giving it a shot know one important thing. 

This is the BEST character on the show. 

I have not met one person who doesn’t love Grizz. He is the greatest. (The fan love for him really reminds me of the love for Stiles in Teen Wolf.)

DC’S TITANS- Season 2

At the start of April, I started the second season of Titans. As someone who does not have the DC streaming service I have to wait till the seasons are accessible on DVD. I watched the first season back in December and loved it, so I couldn’t wait to watch season 2. I was excited to see all the characters they were adding to the team. As someone who LOVES superheroes, but gets most of their knowledge through watching TV and movies rather than the comics, I went in not knowing a lot, which made it even more exciting. I would say my only main issue with this season was the staggering of plots. Because there were so many characters to follow and so much going on there were a lot of times when I was excited to start the next episode (because the previous one always ended on the BEST cliffhangers) only to have the episode involve a completely different story-line. While Deathstroke was the main villain for the season, sprinkling in CADMUS and finishing off Raven’s dad at the start felt like a lot for me. Most of the side conflicts added up to involving Slade, but looking back (because I did watch this at the beginning of April) it often felt like a lot in the moment. Some of the moments that were my favorite were finally getting the Nightwing reveal, seeing Bruce and Dick interact, being at Titans tower, hearing Hank sing and all of Connor. I think he was my favorite addition to the show. (I could be biased because I’m a Superman fan.) I’m upset with the ending and they better find a way to reverse it!! I would also like to see more of the team together next season because I really missed that too. 

On a lighter note....

NAILED IT!

This is the PERFECT show for the crazy times we are in. It takes your mind off the repetitive news and is a great stress reliever, plus it is super funny and you will find yourself laughing uncontrollable. Maybe more in some episodes than others. Nailed it is the baking game show for people who strive to be better bakers in the kitchen, but are struggling when it comes to appearance (or taste...or both). In the half hour show there are two tasks for the three contestants to perform in order for a chance at the Nailed It trophy and $10,000. They are both often very difficult, with the second creation much harder than the first. Watching the contestants is hilarious as well as their reactions to baking and not having any clue what to do sometimes. I also love the judges. Nicole Byer is too funny and Jacques Torres is one of my new favorite people. 

Plus Wes is just beautiful and I loved when Nicole called him the human form of Simba from the Lion King. 

Continuing on with more comedy... 

I know of several people who quote John Mulaney’s comedy specials on the regular, plus his gifs are EVERYWHERE. So it was about time I watched his specials and what better time than right now when I can use all the laughs I can get. I watched The Come Back Kid and New in Town and was laughing all the way through. If you’re already familiar with his stand-up you can enjoy some of these moments again below. If you aren’t then I HIGHLY suggest you check them out on Netflix or by simply YouTube-ing some of his best moments. (My computer cannot stop putting them in my suggested now.)  

Returning to some of my past favorites this month....

(Some of these should not come as a shocker)

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

One of my February Picks is back (not that it ever really left). Zoey’s is the show that I can’t stop talking about and even if this past Sunday’s episode (not the one airing tonight because I obviously haven’t watched it yet-while he’s been bothering me I can’t wait to hear Max’s rendition of ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’) gave me issues because everyone was blowing up at each other and there were times I wanted to shout at the TV, I would still suggest this show to anyone. This dramedy has so much going on from captivating (and sometimes heartbreaking) plots, to realistic and lovable characters and songs you will quickly want to add to your personal playlist. It’s honestly just a feel good show that usually puts me in such a great mood (again, despite last week’s...) With only a few more to this season I cannot wait to see what happens next!! (If you enjoy the show check out my other posts on this page!) 

NANCY DREW

The CW retelling of Nancy Drew is in the top 2 of shows that I currently cannot stop talking about. It’s still a little shocking to me that I have grown to like Nancy Drew SO MUCH. If you told me that at the start of the season I would have been like ‘really?’ But as this first season has progressed I really fell in love with the show and the characters. While we ended on an earlier cliffhanger than was intended it was still an AWESOME one that has left me with so many questions. I am so happy this show was renewed and I cannot wait till they can start filming the second season. Because I need more of these kinds of moments:

I’m pretty sure I ended my last post this way too. But come on these two are the cutest and deserve to be endgame!

Just like with Zoey’s check out this page for more detailed reviews if you are also a Nancy Drew fan!

I DIDN’T DO IT

I am SO HAPPY that this show is now on Disney Plus. I have talked about this show since it got canceled from Disney Channel far too soon (much like many of their great shows on that channel). But at least they had gotten 2 seasons and both are now available to watch on the streaming service as much as you’d like. (I think I already made it up to episode 12). In my personal opinion season 2 is stronger than season 1 mainly because it doesn’t follow the classic structure of the “I didn’t do it” episode. What I mean by this is starting the episode out with some sort of hi-jinks and having the 5 best friends exclaim they “didn’t do it” or this isn’t how they thought things would go. Then we flashback to events either earlier in the day or week, etc, leading up to the first scene’s events. This style can get very repetitious, but with funny plots and likable characters certain episodes work better than others. However, by season 2 this structure was gone completely and I think the show strongly benefited from it. I truly believe this group of friends felt like a teenage “Friends” sitcom. They had a hang out at a smoothie cafe, two of them were siblings (here twins) and each member of the group resembled a character from the classic NBC show. They even had the two that felt like Ross and Rachel like each other romantically. Who knows where the show would have gone if it wasn’t cancelled. Check it out and let me know if you find more comparisons.    

And Last But Not Least...

WORLD ON FIRE

The most recent show I’ve started watching is currently airing on PBS after previously airing on the BBC. This drama throws us into the beginnings of WWII as we follow several characters from different parts of the globe, from England to Germany and Poland. I’m really loving the diverse cast and seeing through the eyes of so many characters during this turning point of history. While I have only watched 2 episodes so far, I already feel very invested in each of their lives and cannot wait to see what happens next. Already so many twists and turns have occurred in such a short amount of time. The episodes go by really fast and will have you thinking a lot after. If you are a fan of a lot of other Masterpiece’s Classics I would highly suggest checking it out. 

I hope everyone is staying safe and well! 

[shinygoku]

Top 10 CSatM Episodes (1/2)

Ahhh, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons...! Probably only Second to Thunderbirds when it comes to the most popular and beloved Supermarination programme, with only Stingray able to compete for that coveted Silver Medal. But for me, it’s my Favourite!

I could go on and on about it, but for now I’ll go over my personal picks for a Top 10, which may give some insight into what about the way the series ticks makes it so enthralling.

Without further ado, let’s jump in! I’m not ordering them by preference, but rather the Episode order as I watched them on my DVDs (tediously the ep listings never seem to be consistent :T) Spoilers for all eps covered! ✂

Winged Assassin

Starting off my Favourites is the 2nd episode of the whole show, featuring a good condensed version of the events of Ep 1 if ya missed it and probably the best explanation on the workings of Retrometabolism that canon media is ever gonna grant us. The plot is fairly straightforward, but what elevates this is the aforementioned Exposition, which feels more organic than it did last episode, the interactions between Scarlet and Blue, and even the shocking twist at the ending, where the mission that had been going so well falls at the very last hurdle, in spite of Spectrum’s best efforts.

One of the most chilling visuals in the series is a surfaced shard of a downed passenger plane floating up from the sea, before the camera pans out to show the duplicated plane flying through the air, and another dark shot later on, of Scarlet’s limp hand with blood running down after he died in the effort to prevent the massive explosion that occurs regardless.

Winged Assassin sets a lot of standards of things to follow; traits like massive collateral damage just as part of the Mysteron’s grander scheme, the close partnership of Scarlet and Blue, Scarlet’s seldom used Sixth Sense and even the occasional downer ending, where the Mysterons manage to sneak a victory in and actually kill or destroy their stated target.

White as Snow

This episode shines a very interesting light on the dynamics between Col. White and Scarlet. It’s obviously one of a superior giving orders most of the time, but in a twist from the somewhat strict nature of Jeff Tracy over his sons who show respect to their father by not arguing back, with these two there’s actually the occassional spark of friction, that Scarlet will voice when he doesn’t like the commands and will only reluctantly go through the motions in the situation. I’m referring mostly to the first Mysteron attack, where a satellite is on a collision course with Cloudbase, but Scarlet unsubtly opposes the plan as there’s the possibility of innocent people on board who would get killed if Spectrum shot it down first. However, he’s overruled... and it turns out that it was indeed a trap, the people on board had been exploded hours ago and what was shot down was a Replicant copy. And that’s just the first half of the episode! But I find it interesting that again, back in Thunderbirds, the call to not remotely destroy something like that on the offchance it was populated would be the Correct course of action, but in this show pragmatism is needed, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Anyway, the episode has another Mysteron attack aboard a submarine, with plenty of tension... but yet, there’s something of a comedic bend to the episode, such as a furious White shouting at the currently dead Scarlet, much to the Naval crew’s confusion, and the scene at the end which I’ve taken the picture from. The weakest part of the episode is probably Blue in charge of Cloudbase, as he doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing and I feel they coulda done more with him. Oh well! At least we got the fantastic music insert, which is also titled White as Snow.

Operation Time

Probably ranking in my Top 3, Operation Time is pretty remarkably both one of the most tension filled... yet an extremely funny episode. I guess some of that’s just due to my own odd sense of humour, though some moments are clearly intentional. Both the operation scenes, the Mysteron’s pursuit of the Doctor, and finally Spectrum chasing the Mysteron!Doctor are all played very suspensefully, and I find myself holding my breath. But then the funny scenes, like everything with Magenta and how hilariously pissy and unsubtle the Fake!Doctor gets leave me in stitches! [pun unintended lol]

I dunno, maybe some of the amusement effect is enhanced by the strong contrast between the scenes. Also we get a very grisly death for the Fake!Doctor and this episode establishes weaknesses for the Mysterons that will come up in future instalments. There’s a lot this ep has to offer, even something of an insight into 60′s medicine (though the series is set in 2068). While an extremely minor point, both the scenes with operations have the pssssshh.....fsssssshhhh sound that I associate with ventilators even though they ain’t being used, what’s up with that? But it’s another thing to add to the Atmosphere so s’all good, man.

Odd that I can’t think of much else to put here, I love it so much but maybe it’s so solid in the couple of things it does that’s all there really is to say? I’m feeling frustrated at how I don’t seem to have written enough for it, but trust me when I say it’s excellent and that it’s absolutely a Must Watch if you’re giving the series a look. (Though again, I’m spoiling each ep covered so uhh... read at your own risk if you’re using this to judge it!)

The Heart of New York

An interesting tale that I’ve actually Heard more than I’ve watched, as the audio adaptation is a free sample on the official Gerry Anderson site! [At least at the time of writing lmao, it’s worth a look anyway. This message was not paid for.]

This story is somewhat unique in that the Mysterons’ plan is pretty tame by their standards. They want to blow up... a Bank. Sure, it contributes to the long game they play, causing disruption and destruction, but compared to the casual massive collateral damage they inflict as part of a more focused murder attempt (again, see Winged Assassin and the passenger plane) this is small potatoes. But still, they end up feeling more moral in this episode than the actual ne’er do wells, a trio of would-be Robbers. These guys are pretty assholish, deliberately using the horrible cosmic war that’s already taken lives in the triple digits to hide behind while they take their pickings from a vault. Captain Black locking these morons in with the explosives feels like poetic justice, that they really did get what they wanted and are punished in kind.

Maybe this feeds the Mysteron’s point, that humans are aggressive, corrupt and selfish... though Colonel White challenges this view at the end of the episode, stating the robbers aren’t indicative of humanity as a whole. The whole shebang is a lot like The Twilight Zone, honestly. All we need is Rod Serling to open and close the episode...

Point 783

This episode is a bit harder to go into depth on, to be honest, it’s not one with a particular gimmic that makes it more memorable, but it’s a very solid ep all the same. There’s still a fair few layers that keep me thinking, like how it seems one of the Methane Trunk drivers had seemingly been Mysterionised offscreen to enable the Mysteron’s main pawns to me made. Then the first attempt to kill the Supreme Commander is thwarted by Scarlet’s (somewhat inconsistant) Mysteron Sense and perspex tubes that take their sweet time to descend and don’t even prioritise the actual target lol

Anyway, the meat of the episode is focused on the guest vehicle, the Unitron implacable unmanned Tank that can be controlled remotely by human operator or programmed to destroy something particular, and it will not stop or slow down no matter what’s thrown at it. Something something Proto-Drone Warfare commentary. The Mysterons’ last big attempt to assassinate today’s dude has one of their Mysterionised guys from earlier become the target, unknown to everyone else until he draws his gun inside the SPV (who even points out the 6th sense didn’t activate!). Scarlet gets shot 3 times but manages to eject himself and the Supreme Commander, which leads to the above scene, which offers a nice, human response.

Mr Supreme Commander later chews Blue out as it emerges instead of Scarlet going to a Hospital within 10 minutes, Spectrum insisted on waiting for one of their Helicopters to pick him up, which took 3 hours. Poor Blue has to try reassuring the army guys that Scarlet will be fine, truuuuust hiiiim. It makes me wonder if Spectrum is making things easier or harder overall by keeping his Retrometabolism under their hats, though I can understand they’d have reservations, but just trying to gloss over it with a ‘no no, it’s fine, he’ll get better.’ type answer doesn’t seem all that convincing. But I enjoy that it’s semi challenged here. And this episode summary ended up longer than expected cause all the Thinking I’ve done, haha!

=======

This has gotten a lot longer than expected and will be Two Parts! Find the second half here~

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.

[fancymuffinparty]

Just Say You Feel the Way That I Feel...

Rating: T; for suggestive themes and eating cake wayyyyy too fast

Pairing: Mikasa Ackerman x Annie Leonhart, Mikannie

Summary:  For Day Three of Annie Week 2k19! (Modern AU) @annieweek

Prompt based on this post. 

Annie needs a fake-fiance to try wedding cake samples and Mikasa’s cute and not really doing anything sooooooo...

Word Count: 1769

A/N: My first tumblr-exclusive one-shot of 2019! :O Ahhhh! I guess this coulda worked for Day One Sweets, but it’s a modern AU too so we’ll go with that! :)

Quick shout-out to Mikannie discord peeps that I haven’t chatted with in forever but i love y’all and HERE’S THE FIC I MENTIONED MONTHS AGO!!! :’D oof

*Title inspired by this song I heard at a wedding and was like-

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

“Be my fiancé,” Annie declares as she saunters into the room.

“Your… what?” Mikasa freezes, her coffee cup halfway to her lips.

“Only for like an hour tops,” Annie says. Her eyes are glued to her phone, focused on whatever email or text she’s answering.

“You know it’s me you’re talking to, right?” Mikasa queries, wondering which episode of the Twilight Zone this whole fiasco is supposed to be.

“Look, there’s this amazing baker that’s been written up in the Stohess Times,” Annie explains. “The reviews claim the cakes are out of this world. I guess he’s famous in his hometown or something. Thing is he only does wedding cakes… So we’re sampling them in like twenty minutes.”

Annie mumbles something to the effect of ‘Booked it!’ after shoving her phone in her pocket, then orders: “Get your coat. We gotta go now or we’ll be stuck in traffic.”

Mikasa can’t fathom a response to the blonde’s rambling, merely staring at her as if she’d missed some sort of punchline.

“You like cake, right?” Annie asks, her brows furrowed.

“Well yeah,” Mikasa replies, still unconvinced. “But why are you asking me?”

“Because you’re here and clearly you’re not doing anything,” Annie says, slipping on her jacket. “This was also the only appointment I could squeeze us in. They’re pretty booked.”

“Why don’t you just buy one?” Mikasa asks.

“Buy a wedding cake? For myself? What do I look like? A crazy person?” Annie scoffs, grabbing her car keys.

Mikasa doesn’t have the energy to put up any more resistance, though she desperately wants to point out that Annie’s practically a monster for sweets and therefore if the blonde were to buy an entire wedding cake for herself, she doubts anyone would be the least bit shocked.

Accepting the circumstances for what they are, Mikasa simply shrugs, grabs her coat, and follows Annie out the door. They’re about to hop inside her car when she suddenly remembers the next phase of her plan.

“Almost forgot,” Annie says, handing Mikasa a silver ring. “Might wanna slip this on.”

“Seriously? This might be too far- even for you,” Mikasa mutters, tentatively easing the ring on. After settling themselves in the car, however, she can’t help but admire the subtle gleam of it. “It’s almost an exact replica of yours,” she notes.

Annie nods, half-smiling. “It looks good on you, Ackerman.”

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

The trip is mostly silent. When her curiosity gets the best of her, Mikasa googles the famous baker they’re due to meet in but a few minutes. He’s a friendly-looking fellow named Nikolo from the Marley metropolis. The cakes are gorgeous and she admires the artistic quality to them. No wonder Annie had been so insistent.

Mikasa sighs and rests her head against the backrest of the passenger seat. She gets a bit carried away with her thoughts, allowing herself to imagine what it would be like if this was her reality. What if she and Annie were engaged? What if they really were going to pick out a wedding cake? What if the ring she’s wearing meant more than simply putting on a show? (For free food, of all things…)

But she quickly locks those thoughts back to the darkest corner of her mind where they belong and tries to focus on enjoying the day with her newly acquired fake fiancé.

“Okay, looks like we’re here. Let’s go, dear.” Annie’s out of the car before Mikasa can make an objection to the pet name.

They quickly walk into the bakery where they’re immediately engulfed in the sweet smell of sugar. Annie feels right at home.

“Hello! Welcome!” A tall, slim man greets the duo after they’ve entered the establishment. He introduces himself politely and shakes their hands, to which Annie offers the same in return.

“Wonderful to meet you, Nikolo,” the blonde says. “And thank you for fitting us in. We’re aware of how busy you are.” Without using so much as eye-contact as some sort of unspoken cue, she reaches for Mikasa’s hand, holding it ever-so gently and continues with, “This is my fiancé, Mikasa Ackerman. Soon to be Mrs. Leonhart.”

A blush flashes across Mikasa’s cheeks, enflaming the bridge of her nose. Yet somehow, she manages to keep up with the charade, inserting herself into the exchange.

“Thanks for having us,” she chimes in quickly. “My fiancé practically worships sweets and from what we’ve read online, you’re the go-to guy for wedding cakes.”

Nikolo accepts the compliment, albeit modestly. “I’m honored,” he says with a coy smile. “Now please. If you’ll just follow me…” He makes a civil gesture before leading them into a small room away from the show floor.

There’s a small table embellished with innumerable slices of cake, each looking like a uniquely hand-crafted work of fine art almost too pretty to eat.

Almost.

“So, there are many different styles as you can see,” Nikolo explains. “We have the chocolate delight, the raspberry white dream, the red velvet luxury, the lemon supreme, and of course, the classic buttercream vanilla. Please, feel free to taste and try them all, let me know what you think. I’ll leave you to it.” He quietly exits the room, closing the door behind them to offer his guests some privacy.

“…Wow,” Mikasa whispers in awe, still marveling at the decorative array of sweets.

“Still think my idea’s insane, Ackerman?” Annie quips.

“Most definitely,” Mikasa replies without missing a beat. “But this is going to be totally worth it.”

“Well come on then. We don’t have all day.” Annie hurries to the table and sits down, eyes locked on the slice of the white raspberry dream. Before Mikasa can even pull up a seat next to her, the blonde has already devoured half of the slice.

“Mikasa, you need to try this,” Annie manages in between chewing. She lets out a tiny moan, a sound that is practically sinful.

Mikasa rushes to sit down when she sees Annie shove another bite into her mouth.

“Hey now, slow it down there, Annie,” Mikasa warns, eyeing the blonde with a slightly judgmental look. “It’s not going anywhere.”

“Not my fault you can’t keep up,” Annie sasses back, cake still stuffed in her mouth.

“As your fiancé, I demand you-” Mikasa is unable to finish as Annie quickly shoves a piece of cake into her mouth, using the extra fork on the table.

“Mmmmph!” Mikasa grumbles incoherently at first but as soon as the burst of heavenly flavors overwhelm her senses, she’s practically fallen in love.

“How was that, darlin’?” Annie asks. Taunts, really.

“You’re cruel,” Mikasa replies, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “I need more.”

“Mmmm, that’s what I thought,” Annie drawls. “Maybe if you ask nicely.”

Mikasa huffs and reaches for a different slice of cake. Appears to the be the Lemon Supreme. Her mouth is instantly watering.

“Or I can help myself to this gorgeous specimen,” she asserts.

Annie gobbles down the rest of her own slice, feigning indifference. “Suit yourself.”

She scoops up a hefty serving of the red velvet luxury cake and devours the morsel in predatory fashion. Mikasa finds the blonde’s feistiness rather amusing.

“You oughtta savor the taste, Annie,” she suggests, chewing her next bite slowly. “You’re eating way too fast.”

Annie waves her off, cheeks stuffed to the max. “Believe me, I am thoroughly enjoying this experience.”

Mikasa heaves a sigh and shrugs, stealing a small bite of the red velvet luxury.

Oh, yes, she thinks, cherishing every beautiful second of this passionate moment.

This one’s her favorite.

“You’re making that face,” Annie says abruptly, interrupting her thoughts. “You like that one?”

Mikasa quirks a brow. “What? What face?”

“The ‘Mikasa face of approval’,” Annie replies, smirking. “No need to get all self-conscious about it. It’s cute.”

“Cute?” Mikasa’s chewing picks up, as does the frantic beat of her heart.

Annie’s still admiring her fake fiancé’s bashful expression, until she notices the small crumbs and frosting smeared at the corner of her mouth.

“You got something on your…” Annie points the mess out, to which Mikasa merely tilts her head, questioning.

“I got cake on my face or what?” Mikasa asks, setting aside her fork.

Annie nods, a smug expression adorning her face. “Mmmhmmm.”

Mikasa looks away, slightly embarrassed. Before she can grab a napkin and wipe the crumbs and frosting off, Annie reaches for her face, hand caressing her cheek tenderly.

“Here, let me help,” she says softly. And she slowly leans in.

Mikasa stalls, the anticipation looming over her as Annie eases closer and closer. The blonde gently draws her tongue over the smeared frosting, then merges their mouths together in a sweet kiss; innocent yet so deliberate.

Annie pulls away, but only slightly. “I think I got it.”

Mikasa’s breathing is hitched. “Is a… second helping possible?”

“Oh?” Annie hums. “You mean the red velvet or… do you want me to kiss you again?”

Mikasa’s just about had it with Annie’s sass, so without warning she slips her arms around her waist and pulls the blonde in closer. Their lips meet again, this time in a deeper kiss.

She can still taste the lingering presence of red velvet with every curious graze of her tongue.

“Oh, my! I am so sorry to interrupt!” Nikolo stammers as he walks into the room, wondering if he should just tiptoe out and pretend he didn’t witness their passionate makeout session. “Ummm… Just wanted to see if you two were doing all right.”

From the looks of it, it seems to be going very well.

The two pull away from each other, like shy bashful lovers. “We’re doing fine. Thank you,” Annie replies, clearing her throat.

“Everything tastes wonderful,” Mikasa adds politely.

“Perfect! Well let me know if you need anything.” Nikolo forces a smile, preparing to scurry away in humiliation.

“Actually, can we order the red velvet luxury?” Annie requests. “She really likes this one.” She shoots Mikasa a wink before interlocking their hands together.

“Of course!” Nikolo replies. “I’ll be right back with the order forms.” He excuses himself with a bow and promptly leaves the lovebirds to their own devices.

“Really, Annie?” Mikasa chuckles. “You’re really going to buy the whole cake?”

Annie’s gaze lingers to their joined hands and matching rings. Her little scheme to get her crush to try free wedding cake samples has seemingly rewarded her with the best of both worlds.  

She keeps that to herself, of course.

“Why yes,” Annie replies warmly. “Only the best for my fiancé.”

[mahjongteacher1]

Learn Mah Jongg with Debbie’s Golden Rules of Mah Jongg - Part I

With proper etiquette, you can learn Mah Jongg and become a master of your habits.

The game of mah jongg (also spelled mahhjong, mahjongg, and majiang mah-jongg), like any game, can be learned by being taught the American Mahjong rules, reading about American Mahjong strategy or my new beginner's book, Unlocking the Secrets of American Mah jongg, or other American Mahjong Tutorials. Over time, the rules and strategy will become second nature and you will soon be playing like a pro with seasoned players. However, this does not automatically make you a player with whom someone would want to play; hence the reason I created Debbie’s Golden Rules of Mah Jongg. These golden rules will help you learn mah jongg and the American Mah jongg Rules while demonstrating good habits and behaviors around the mah jongg table, making you the type of player that others will be delighted to have in their game.

Before we delve into Debbie’s golden rule #1, it is important to understand the difference between habits and behaviors, two things that greatly affect your presence during a mah jongg game. Let’s start with habits. Habits are actions that become automatic if repeated over and over again. When something becomes automatic, you don’t have to think twice about it. You, as the Nike commercial says, “just do it,” without putting any effort into it. For example, saying “please” before asking for something and saying “thank you” after receiving something are common habits. Once you have perfected a habit, you have become a so-called “habit master.” Even though being a “habit master” might sound funny, it’s valuable to have mastery over your habits. But keep in mind that you can also become a master of habits that are distasteful, annoying, or rude. And, if you are a habit master of a few distasteful habits, you can easily become the type of mah jongg player no one wants to invite into their circle of players. As the idiom says, “old habits do die hard,” so by practicing good habits from the start, you will avoid having to work hard at breaking them. After all, bad habits are, indeed, HARD to break.

Behavior, on the other hand, is triggered by the nervous and endocrine systems. What goes on in one’s environment will trigger a reaction that shows up as a behavior. The important difference between habits and behavior is that behavior is a conscious action, while a habit is a subconscious action. With a behavior, one must think before they react. We’ve all heard the words, “think before you speak,” or, “think before you do anything.” We’ve probably all run into this type of person at least once, if not more, in our lifetime. This type of person (forgive me for being so blunt) has, “diarrhea of the mouth.” Such a person doesn’t think before he or she speaks or reacts instantaneously, as if ready to do battle for their opinion about something or someone without considering the others around. For example, at a game I was hosting a few years back, a woman we’ll refer to as Joy carefully watched another full-bodied woman, whom we’ll refer to as Midge, as she made her way to the array of snacks I had placed out that day. Midge picked up a plate, walked past the lower-calorie fruit and veggie choices and stopped in front of the brownies. She placed two pieces on her plate and walked back to the table and sat down. Joy quickly blurted out, “Do you really need that?” Flushed with embarrassment, Midge said, “Mind your own business.”

Good for Midge, who stood up for herself, but shame on Joy for her rude behavior! One must ask themselves: Is this the type of person you want to be around your mah jongg table? For those new to the game, hopefully, your teacher has educated you on good habits and behaviors. I strive to instill good habits and behaviors in my students from day one. Being courteous and polite are things we are supposed to have been taught growing up. Unfortunately, it seems as though some have either forgotten good habits, are unaware of their behavior, or were never taught politeness growing up. If I observe a student who is either discourteous or rude—and believe me, there seems to be one in every class—I feel it is my duty to set an example for the others by addressing the behavior and saying something.

One of the most obstinate students I’ve had to date is one who came into class with a glass of wine. Prior to the first class, everyone receives a group text with reminders of dates, location, and rules. The rules are no food during class; water or coffee is permitted in a closed container. So, when this woman walked in with a glass of wine, I chuckled to myself, Here comes my one-in-every-class student. After asking her if she got my text, she replied, “Oh, I must have missed that.” I responded, “Only water and coffee permitted during class and in a closed container. Would you please place the glass of wine on the credenza (pointing her in the right direction) and away from the playing area?” She huffed and puffed and nearly blew my house down with her resistant comments. Instead of doing as I asked, she sat down and placed the glass underneath her chair. She had made the unilateral decision that under the chair meant out of the playing area. When I said something to her again, she got up abruptly and placed the glass on a nearby credenza. You can see the pattern, right?

You can guess what happened in the next class, can’t you? You’ve got it: she came strutting in again with a glass of wine. Had I not clearly addressed this with her last time? Though I felt quite uncomfortable, not only for me but for the entire class, I asked her to leave. When she finally realized the consequences of her behavior, she begged and pleaded to stay; she promised she would not be a repeat offender—again! Thankfully, she did clean up her act long enough to get through the next few classes.

So, my friends, what happens when we are dealing with seasoned players who haven’t a clue about being courteous, at least around the mah jongg table? Did they forget about good habits or is their mind somewhere playing a role in some Twilight Zone episode? At times, it sure seems like it, doesn’t it? Many of us excuse poor behavior and habits when playing and then complain to everyone else who will listen. And, of course, everyone knows about this inappropriate behavior except for the one displaying it. Regardless, I am here to help you handle a variety of awkward, uncomfortable, and bizarre behaviors around the table.

I’ve seen the impact of such behavior up close and personal, both as a mah jongg player and an instructor. From a player’s vantage point, inappropriate behavior and distasteful habits displayed through poor etiquette or rudeness impact everyone at the table. It is not only disruptive to the game, but can also change the mood of those who were looking forward to a fun-filled day, causing them to reconsider whether they even want to continue playing with the group. I dropped out of a weekly game because one player was repeatedly rude and argued about rules. She’d insist that a rule was a National Mah Jongg League rule to the point that I had to call the League to confirm that it was in fact a tournament rule and not a League rule. She spent so much time in her argumentative posture that the game was no longer fun for me. And games are certainly supposed to be fun! From an instructor’s vantage point, inappropriate behavior or poor habits are also disruptive to the class, as in my story about the woman with the wine. Precious time is taken away from the others who are eager to learn and who have paid for an instructional class. It is not fair to them that I must stop and address the behavior or habit that does not belong in my classroom. Suddenly, my role turns from instructor to disciplinarian, which is not at all a part of my class schedule.

Since many tenuous situations can arise, I am here to help you handle a variety of awkward, uncomfortable, and bizarre behaviors around the table. In order to help others and to spread the word about good habits and behaviors, I will be doing a blog series discussing a my 15 Golden Rules of mah jongg (and the list will surely grow). Sharing these rules with others can help you discuss awkward, uncomfortable, and even embarrassing moments around the mah jongg table. Now it’s time to look at Debbie’s Golden Rule #1.

Golden Rule #1: Wait until all your tiles are dealt out before racking them; this will prevent a misdeal and someone ending up short on tiles.

New students who want to learn mah jongg and American mahjong strategy are anxious to get those tiles up on the rack. Since the flow of picking and whether to pick clockwise or counterclockwise does not come naturally to the beginner player, ending up with the wrong number of tiles is easy to do. By placing each set of four tiles together on top of your mah jongg card and repeating the same, you can easily count and visually see that you have three sets of four tiles. Those three sets equal twelve, then East takes the first one and third tiles, while everyone else just takes one.

As you can see in this picture, it is easy to tell that after East picked his/her first and third tiles, they were short four tiles. This is a misdeal. Everyone would need to throw in their tiles and start over. But what happens if you didn’t leave them on the top of your mah jongg card and, instead, you racked them? If you are lucky enough to notice it, you can declare a misdeal, whereby everyone throws in their tiles, builds their walls, and deals again. But, if you don’t catch it and the Charleston begins, it is too late to declare a misdeal. So now you are thinking, I call myself dead and I need to announce it to everyone, right? Wrong; you are not supposed to call yourself dead. You are supposed to wait until another player notices that you have too few tiles and officially declares your hand dead. Once this happens, you stop playing. If no one calls you dead, you continue to play, but you must play defensively since you cannot make mah jongg with too few tiles! Plus, you really have to be careful because the last thing you want to happen is for you to be playing a dead hand and give someone else mah jongg.

One more thing: what if you forget the rules and call yourself dead after realizing you had been playing with too few tiles? Someone else still needs to officially declare your hand dead, and I’m sure, at that point, they will.

Following Rule #1 is really one of the easiest habits to form in one simple step. Don’t rack your tiles until you have verified that you have three sets of four tiles plus two (if you are East) or one (if you are not).

Something else to think about...what about those players that like to get fancy by placing their tiles all in a row and then using their card to flip them up? Pretty impressive huh? For me not so, but to each his/her own. Not a biggie unless that fancy move didn’t include the right number of tiles. Let’s move on to Golden Rule #2.

Golden Rule #2: Keep your hands to yourself. In other words, don’t touch anyone else’s tiles or racks.

New players who want to learn mah jongg should pay close attention to this rule. First off, I’d like to start this rule by asking a few questions. Why would anyone touch anyone else’s tiles? They are not yours, so why touch them? Don’t you have enough of your own tiles? And what about someone else’s racks? There is no reason that you would be touching them or moving them or doing anything with them for that matter.

Here are some things to live by when it comes to this rule:

1. Let players take their own tiles during the deal. 2. Let players pick their own tiles from the wall. 3. Let players pick up their called tile from the table. 4. Let players push out their own rack. 5. Don’t touch, move, or handle another player’s tiles and/or racks. 6. Ask for (don’t grab) the joker during a joker exchange (see below Golden Rule #4)

On a final note, some people don’t like their tiles or racks touched. So why not get in the habit of not doing it? This way, you leave any chance of bickering out of the equation. Is it the end of the world if you do any one of these things? Probably not; but be sure to check your tournament rules before you dare to touchy-touchy or put your paws on anyone else’s tiles.

Golden Rule #3 – Keep your Exposures spaced that are atop the flat part of your Rack.

This seems simple enough, yet I see players forget from time to time. It is the courteous thing to do and spacing exposures make it easier especially for the beginner player to find the potential hand(s) being played. If a player doesn’t leave spaces in between their Pungs, Kongs or Quints, you must put Rule #2 into play because the “bad habit” devil might be sitting on your shoulder waiting to will your Hand over to their Rack eager to space those Exposures. Be gone you “bad habit” devil because I am going to put Rule #2 into play and ask the player with the Exposed Tiles that are not spaced to please and don’t forget the thank you, space them. Easy as pie, right? My students learn this from the get-go so this good habit will become second nature.

If you want to learn more on mah jongg ettique the American mahjong way, stay tuned for the next blog in this series, where we will cover additional rules from Debbie Golden Rules of Mah Jongg.

Happy Mah Jongging everyone!

[waveridden]

favourite podcast episodes? or if that's too broad, pick a podcast of your choice and list your favourite episodes.

oh i can absolutely do top 5 podcast episodes

“a fine figure,” the far meridian 1x08. in which peri meets a man in the desert who is grieving things neither of them fully understand. makes me cry every time. i would actually super super super recommend it even as a standalone it is. so good. it is a wonderful intro to scripted audio fiction it’s so short and still so profoundly good

“plasticity,” ars paradoxica #16. i don’t know how to provide proper context for this episode. it’s about time travel, and children not being allowed to be children, and lullabies and loss and it’s just. fucking tremendous. (it’s also written by the same woman who writes the far meridian so like, listen, i just know what i’m about and that’s valid)

“tucked in,” the magnus archives #86. i know horror isn’t for everyone, and this show is hard to recommend episodes out of context bc once the metaplot is going it’s really Going. but this statement is like... so visceral. because who was never afraid of the dark as a kid? who never hid under their blankets when they were scared or upset? this episode taps into something very very primal and i love that.

campaign #80-81. these episodes are like... major comfort episodes for me? i don’t know how or why but they’re the perfect culmination of the very very long arc on phindar, and they make me laugh and cry every single time

“new brighton - nakhane ft. anohni,” song exploder. this is the one nonfiction/interview podcast that i truly 100% genuinely believe everyone should listen to, and this episode is such a phenomenal example. this show is interviews where artists talk about the process that went into one specific song of their choice, and in this episode nakhane talks about the exploration of what it means to be both christian and black in south africa, why he made a pop song, and why it was important to have a trans woman guest on the vocals. and boy, if you can hear the isolated vocals of anohni singing “never live in fear again, never again” and not cry then you are a stronger person than me, because i’m literally physically crying just from thinking about it

also i know this is just a top 5 list but i have so many favorites so like in no particular order here are some things that i really enjoy

the entirety of greater boston. i can’t recommend a single episode but i avidly completely recommend the whole show

the first two episodes of zero hours are absolutely killer

episode 3 of startripper came to me at a time when i desperately needed something simple and joyful and i still hold it fondly in my heart

the stellar firma blooper reel is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

the third season of within the wires is so so brilliant. it probably doesn’t land the same if you haven’t heard the whole show but it’s so good

who shot ya is a good show and if you like movies you should listen to it

i have mixed feelings about the second and third seasons of the adventure zone, but taz balance is still an all-time great

the s1 finale of marsfall includes some of the best acting i’ve ever heard

the strange case of starship iris does some fantastic things with the framing device

friends at the table is long as fuck but it’s amazing. every season has been incredible and i’m so excited to start twilight mirage

at this point i’ve recommended basically half of the podcasts i’m subscribed to so tldr is if any of this piques your interest (not just kat, but literally anyone reading this) you can always im me and i’ll go off about a podcast

[brokehorrorfan]

DVD Review: Chillers: The Complete Series

Chillers is a little-known thriller anthology television series that was originally produced under the title Mistress of Suspense in France and the UK, where it debuted in 1990. It adapts 12 short stories by Patricia Highsmith, whose works have also been made into Strangers on a Train, The Talented Mr. Ripley, and Carol, among others. Despite the author being American, the show feels quite European in its pacing and dryness.

Psycho star Anthony Perkins, fresh off of Psycho IV: The Beginning, serves as the host in segments that bookend each episode. As pitch-perfect as he is as Norman Bates, the actor lacks the charisma of similar emcees like Hitchcock on Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone's Rod Serling. The monologues aren't as witty either, but Perkins serves his purpose, setting the tone and occasionally throwing in a pun.

Episodes filled an hour-long TV block, making them around 52 minutes a piece without commercials, but in most cases the show would have greatly benefited from a half-hour format. It's heavy on melodrama, although dry humor is implemented at times. The subject matter explores humanity's dark side, often involving death and centering on middle-aged characters. Given that every episode is based on Highsmith's work, it's pleasing to see that Chillers employed a relatively high ratio of female writers and directors for its time.

"The Cat Brought It In" is a curious choice for a first episode. Director Nessa Hyams (casting director on The Exorcist and Blazing Saddles) does a fine job, but it hinges on extremely dry humor accentuated by deadpan performances from its cast, including Edward Fox (The Day of the Jackal) and Bill Nighy (Underworld). The story kicks off with a cat bringing severed human fingers into an English countryside home. The family debates about how to deal with the situation, wanting to solve the mystery without drawing attention to themselves.

"Sauce for the Goose" is a stronger effort, reminiscent of something you'd find on Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Ian McShane (American Gods) stars as a suave lounge singer who stays with a middle-aged couple, only to have the wife be seduced by his charm, leading to an affair. Directed by Clare Peploe (Rough Magic), it's a bit slow moving in the first half, but it picks up in the latter portion when murder is introduced.

"Old Folks at Home," written by Gérard Brach (Repulsion), finds a yuppie couple adopting an underprivileged elderly husband and wife. The octogenarians seem sweet, if a bit eccentric, at first, but they becoming increasingly difficult to live with as they ignorantly take advantage of their hosts' good nature. They're never sinister, but rather irritating.

"The Thrill Seeker" follows an otherwise mundane man (Jean-Pierre Bisson) with a most peculiar hobby: conning women - Marisa Berenson (Barry Lyndon) among them - into believing he's a far more impressive personality, like a film producer, mercenary, or author. He's not in it for particularly nefarious reasons, but he does steal a memento from each "victim." Bisson relishes the opportunity to play such a variety of characters, chewing the scenery as some and going subtle as others. The episode is not an entirely successful drama, as it spreads itself thin between playing the concept for laughs, exploring the tragic reality, and making it a thriller.

"The Day of Reckoning" is the most unconventional and, sadly, weakest entry. Samuel Fuller (Shock Corridor) directs this bizarre blend of absurdist comedy and over-the-top melodrama, in which a young man learns the dangers of life on a chicken farm. Many of Chillers episodes feel stretched out to fill the time slot, but this one really struggles, as evidenced with the abundance of chicken B-roll accompanied by on-the-noise music cues implying they're evil.

"Puzzle" follows a man (Stéphane Freiss) who's told that he could receive a big promotion if he's married. The only problem is that he has two girlfriends who do not know abut one another, so he must choose before he gets caught. Like a classic sitcom scenario, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to keep up the charade. Unfortunately, the episode does little to rise above the familiar trope.

"Slowly, Slowly in the Wind" concerns a rivalry between neighbors; one a traditional family man (Jean-Pierre Cassel, Murder on the Orient Express), the other a shrewd businessman (James Fox, Sherlock Holmes). The conflict comes to a head when their children enter a romantic relationship. The plot is nothing particularly groundbreaking, but it's engaging enough.

"A Curious Suicide" is the most Hitchcockian of the bunch and, it should come as no surprise, one of the best. In it, John (Richard Atkin) goes to visit a college friend (Barry Foster, Frenzy) who stole the love of his life from him decades prior. John commits what appears to be the perfect murder early in the episode, leaving the rest of the runtime to see if he's able to get away with the crime. Robert Bierman (Vampire's Kiss) directs from a script by Evan Jones (Victory).

"A Bird Poised to Fly" stars Paul Rhys (Chaplin) as a jilted lover who becomes increasingly infatuated with his muse. Fantasies spiral into obsession as his love letters go unreturned. The piece shows shades of Fatal Attraction, but writer/director Damian Harris (Deceived) and writer Nick Villiers (Blood and Wine) opt for a more dramatic character study that isn't nearly as exciting.

"The Stuff of Madness" is directed by Mai Zetterling, better known in front of the camera as Helga from The Witches. Ian Holm (The Lord of the Rings) stars as a man whose wife collects her deceased pets as taxidermy. Meanwhile, he has a peculiar idiosyncrasy of his own: he fantasizes about a mannequin that reminds him of a long-gone mistress. It's sort of like a psychosexual take on that Seinfeld episode in which the gang finds a mannequin that looks just like Elaine.

"Under a Dark Angel’s Eye" is perhaps the most horror-leaning episode, which naturally plays to my tastes. Ian Richardson (From Hell) stars as a man who returns to England after a decade away to oversee the sale of his childhood home. While there, he checks up on his old friends - played by Peter Vaughan (Straw Dogs) and Anna Massey (Peeping Tom) - who look after his overbearing, hateful mother who still haunts him. There's no murder in this one, but it's a dark tale of karma and guilt.

"Something You Have to Live With" ends the series on a fairly strong note. Jessica's (Tuesday Weld, Once Upon a Time in America) dream home turns out to be a nightmare when she kills a robber that breaks into her house. Director John Berry (The Bad News Bears Go to Japan) focuses on the aftermath as the unfortunate incident weighs heavily on her conscience.

Chillers, like any anthology, is hit and miss depending on the episode. It warrants a recommendation for fans of European fare, but don't expect it to compare to the more successful anthologies of yesteryear. Mill Creek Entertainment's new DVD set of the complete series crams all 12 episodes onto two discs. (An out-of-print 2005 release by Echo Bridge Entertainment had three DVDs.) Between the old, standard definition transfers and over five hours of content on each disc, the quality isn't great, but it's watchable.

Chillers: The Complete 12-Part Anthology Series is available now on DVD via Mill Creek Entertainment.

[jooshthepunished]

Spoilers!

I didn't realize there were so many episodes of Love, Death + Robots, it's already taken me hours to watch 7 and a bit episodes (I also pause to unpack information, as I do with everything), so I'm gonna limit my general complaints and praises to what I've seen so far.

Firstly, I've noticed a trend in these stories. It's not in all of them but so far it's been in most of them. I'll expound on this later.

I'm going to list these in order.

Sonnie's Edge put me off right from the start by injecting a hard political statement in the first five minutes that influenced my perception of the piece as a whole. If I were to watch it again, or perhaps a few times, I don't think it would bother me quite as much. I can brush it off as a character quirk that adds depth or perhaps even shallowness to the characters. It is a little hard to shake that the ultimate antagonist is a man literally named "Dicko" who at one point is talked about with very general and possibly metaphorical language (which, perhaps ironically, is a failure of the Bechdel test). The odd way that the female characters are... Displayed... For lack of a better term, is quite hilarious to me. Throughout the piece Sonnie wears a practically see-through wife beater tank top and her nipples are perpetually erect. One of her cohorts merely wears an open leather jacket as a top. I don't personally see how either of these wardrobe choices adds to the story beyond the world's aesthetic, so they're just kind of there. Even more on this later.

Three Robots was a fun little short with lots of charm. Its ultimate political message was still underlying as the catalyst for the setting of the piece, while also being played off as a joke, but it didn't bother me much because personally I think no one will have the last laugh on the matter of climate change because regardless our descendants will be too busy trying to survive whatever ills either nature or their form of society brings to them. Good luck with that, kids.

The Witness was the most like an episode of The Twilight Zone, but instead of being broadcast on a public access channel, it's on fucking Pornhub. It had a really interesting premise of this sort of infinite loop with alternating roles, but all the extremely graphic nudity and sexual themes are really distracting from it. But more on this weird theme of completely gratuitous sex and nudity later (I promise I'll get to it, and I feel I have some very good points to make). I somewhat enjoyed it, but Jesus someone just tone it down. Not everything has to be Skinemax. It really does injustice to an intriguing story to compound it with needless flash.

Suits was so far my absolute favorite. I thought it was fun and exciting, with several bagsful of charm. It was so good that I don't have a lot to say about it except that I wish it had been longer. But it kind of speaks for itself in that regard, so if you watch anything at all from this anthology series based on my recommendation, make it this one. It also doesn't suffer "the theme."

Sucker of Souls was... Interesting... It had lots of fun violent action and it's portrayal of Vampires is extremely cool. It thankfully only has one bit of graphic nudity, and it isn't sexualized, it's more just benign. What is sexualized, however, is cats and dialogue. And that's a shame.

When the Yogurt Took Over was stupid and I don't care what anybody says. It was pointless. Something something man, something something arrogance and hubris, something something save us from ourselves, blah blah blah shut up. I hated this short so much that I'm not giving it the courtesy of a proper analysis. Also, tits in the Thumbnail.

Beyond the Aquila Rift was pretty good, despite some bizarre slipping accents. There was literally no reason for the primarily English cast to nebulize their accents for this one, and hearing a slip kind of takes me out of the story a little. It's a personal nitpick that doesn't apply to everyone's experience, I know. Not everyone can pull a perfect accent for multiple full-day sessions on a Mocap stage or in a recording booth. I get it. That's a me problem, not an it problem. Anyway. Like The Witness, Aquila Rift was very reminiscent of The Twilight Zone. And it did have it's own problem with gratuitous sex and nudity, and I PROMISE I'M TRYING TO GET THERE BEAR WITH ME PLEASE. The story could absolutely have been told without the graphic sex scene, and I find the implicit to be a far better storytelling tool than the explicit. Overall, I thought it was an interesting sci-fi mystery with a good (if somewhat predictable) climax (heh ignore that).

I'm still in the process of watching Good Hunting, so I think I'll wait until later to give my opinion on it. Though so far the furry vibe does not inspire much confidence. At the very least it can be justified in the plot.

Now I think I'll get to my thoughts on how some of these stories are linked.

It's this sort of sexual gratuity that I've observed Feminist-leaning Hollywood giving us whiplash over for a long time. Gratuitous sex and nudity in Hollywood exist as tools which males use to objectify females, and as female empowerment symbolism simultaneously. It's very selective and arbitrary to the point of being confusing. They seem to either worship or vilify sex, particularly the naked female form. Aquila Rift did turn it on its head by intentionally using it as a story point to distract a character (and by extension the viewer) from the insufferable reality around him, but again, I feel like the implicit rather than the explicit would have been a better choice for the story. In Sonnie's Edge (which indeed was very, very ow tha edge kind of edgy) there's a clear and obvious sapphic fetishism which tells me a lot about whomever wrote it. Personally I tend to think of lesbians as fellow human beings that I share a planet with, and not as golden fucking calves that can be exploited through marketing, posturing, and signaling, but what do I know? I have a penis.

I'm tired of everything in media being turned into softcore (or in the case of The Witness, practically hardcore) pornographic posturing. It's a dull storytelling tool that they formulate to keep the idiots interested, then they come up with a justification for it later (typically a metaphorical one, something something symbol of male gaze, something something symbol of empowerment, something something symbol of vulnerability, take your pick, there's a whole deck here). I'm not advocating that they be censored, I just wish they'd lift some of the pressure off of this particular visual crutch. It's becoming vapid.

I do want to say that I feel like we've come very very far in terms of sheer visual quality with computer animation. The photoreal graphics are slowly becoming almost indistinguishable from live action. It's very impressive, and I see it as a net positive for entertainment and only entertainment.

It does flicker a crazy conspiracy theorist switch in my mind that mankind has the capacity to use this technology for its own ends, be they political or otherwise. It scares me a bit that animation might one day become so good that we might never know what's actually going on when we watch the news media, not that we know much from the news anymore anyway. It's just frightening to me that the media could fake political statements from powerful people just to cause and stir controversy, or to cover up unsavory comments made by whatever party controls the prone-to-bias media at the time.

Deep existential dread aside, I've enjoyed much of what I've seen so far. Sorry for the long post, Tumblr hasn't added Read More to mobile. It's the most egregious of their crimes.

[papermoonloveslucy]

K.O. KITTY

“The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse” ~ November 17, 1958

Produced by Bert Granet, Quinn Martin

Directed by Jerry Thorpe

Dances and Fights staged by Jack Baker

Written by Bob Carroll, Madelyn Davis, Quinn Martin (story)

Synopsis: Los Angeles dance teacher Kitty (Lucille Ball) is delighted when she learns that she has inherited a boxer from her late Uncle Charlie. But the boxer turns out not to be a canine, but a prize fighter named Harold Tibbetts (Aldo Ray), a muscle-bound country boy.

Cast

Desi Arnaz (Himself, Host) was born in Cuba in 1917 and immigrated to America as a youngster. He was a musician who married Lucille Ball in 1940 after meeting her on the set of 1939’s Too Many Girls, which he had done on stage in New York. In order to keep him ‘off the road’ Ball convinced producers to cast him as her husband in a new television project based on her radio show “My Favorite Husband.” The network was convinced. In 1951, Arnaz and Ball began playing Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, roles they would be identified with for the rest of their lives. The couple had two children together, Lucie and Desi Jr. In 1960, Ball and Arnaz divorced. Desi became a producer, responsible for such hits as “The Mothers-in-Law” (1967-69). He re-married in 1963. Desi Aranz died in 1986, just a few years before Ball.

Lucille Ball (Kitty Winslow) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in April 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon, which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes.

Most sources list Kitty's surname as ‘Williams.’ Her last name is clearly spoken twice in the teleplay as ‘Winslow.’ 

Aldo Ray (Harold Tibbetts, below center) was born as Aldo DeRe and nicknamed 'the Rugged Romeo'. In 1964 he worked again with Lucille Ball in Bob Hope's “Have Girls, Will Travel” (1964). His career waned in the 1970s. He died in 1991.

William Lundigan (David Pierce, above left) was a genial 'B' movie and TV actor. His career began in 1937. His last television role was in 1971. He was a good friend of William Frawley (Fred Mertz) and served as pallbearer at his funeral. Lundigan died in 1975.  

Harry Cheshire (Mr. Brubaker) did three films with Lucille Ball between 1947 and 1950. He played Sam Johnson, a Texan who sells Lucy and Ricky “Oil Wells” (ILL S3;E18) in 1954. His best-known role was as Judge Ben Wiley in the TV series “Buffalo Bill, Jr.” (1955). He died in 1968 at the age of 76.

Jesse White (Barney Snyder, below right) is probably best remembered for playing the lonely Maytag repairman on TV commercials airing from 1967 to 1988. A busy character actor, White subsequently starred opposite Lucille Ball on a 1972 episode of “Here's Lucy.” He died in 1997.

Sid Melton (Louie, above left) also appeared on the “Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse” as a bellboy in “Lucy Goes to Alaska” (February 1959) and as a construction worker in “Milton Berle Hides Out at the Ricardos” (September 1959). He played one of the jockeys in “Lucy Wins a Racehorse” (February 1958). He later played Charley Halper on "Make Room For Daddy” (filmed at Desilu) and Alf Monroe on "Green Acres” (aired on CBS).   

Frankie Van (Himself, Referee) was a stand-in and background performer whose more than 50 credits are nearly all as referees in films and television shows about boxing. Fittingly, his last screen credit was as a referee in Rocky (1976).  

In this script, Van is called by his real name.  

Freddie Beshore (Tommy Thompson, uncredited) picked up boxing while serving in the United States Navy during World War II. During his career he was the Heavyweight Champion of the Pacific Coast. During the late 1940s and early 1950s he was a top heavyweight title contender.

Norman Leavitt (Policeman, uncredited) appeared with Lucille Ball in the 1950 film A Woman of Distinction as well as The Long, Long Trailer (1953). The character actor also appeared on three episodes of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” and two episodes of “The Lucy Show.”  

About “The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse”

After the end of the half-hour “I Love Lucy” episodes, Desi Arnaz convinced CBS to purchase an anthology series titled “Desilu Playhouse” which would feature different hour-long dramas every week along with monthly stories of the Ricardos and the Mertzes, something begun a year before. 

Thirteen hour-long “I Love Lucy” adventures were eventually made and sold to syndication as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” ten of which were produced under the Westinghouse sponsorship. The appliance company paid a then-record 12 million dollars to sponsor the show. 

Desi Arnaz hosted the show and introduced the stories. Desi, Lucy, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley, were often involved in the lengthy studio-filmed commercials, with Betty Furness spokesperson for the Westinghouse products. Although it wasn't around long, the show gave birth to pilots for “The Untouchables” and “The Twilight Zone.”

In the summer of 1958, in anticipation of their partnership, the cast of “I Love Lucy” played themselves in an industrial film (known as “Lucy Buys Westinghouse”) that toured the Desilu Studios, promoted “Lucy Goes to Mexico”, and highlighted Westinghouse appliances. The film was never in theatrical release or broadcast, but only shown Westinghouse dealers and corporate clients.

The Desilu Playhouse was also an actual little theatre on the Desilu backlot which hosted classes for actors and put on workshop shows for agents and industry insiders. When Lucille Ball joined RKO in the 1930s, the program was headed by Ginger Rogers' mother, Lela. Lucy wanted to continue the tradition. It was depicted in both “The Desilu Revue” (December 25, 1959) and “Hedda Hopper's Hollywood” (January 10, 1960).  

About “K.O. Kitty”

In the title, “K.O” is boxing term short for “Knock Out,” when a fighter has hit his opponent so hard that he hits the mat and cannot get up again.

This is the first time that Lucille Ball acted on television not playing Lucy Ricardo. Lucille Ball was supposed to do several more non-Lucy Ricardo roles on the series, but this was the only one that ever materialized. The series ended in 1960, along with the Arnaz marriage. “The Desilu Playhouse” went into syndication, minus the Lucy-Desi Comedy Hours. In 1962, Desilu sold those 13 shows back to CBS for $750,000.

Quinn Martin (Producer / Story) was married to “Lucy” writer Madelyn Pugh Davis from 1955 to 1960. His production company was later responsible for such hits as “The Streets of San Francisco” (1972-77), “The Fugitive” (1963-67), and “Barnaby Jones” (1973-78) earning him four Emmy nominations. He also produced nine other episodes of “The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse.”

Like “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” the episode uses a laugh track. Unlike most of those shows, there was no studio audience. “K.O. Kitty” followed “Lucy Goes to Mexico” (October) and was followed by “Lucy Makes Room for Danny” (December), a cross-over episode with “Make Room for Daddy.”  

Earlier in 1958, boxing made the cover of Life Magazine when Sugar Ray Leonard beat Carmen Basilio.  

Boxing had been a major attraction on television, the highlight being the “Playhouse 90” presentation of “Requiem for a Heavyweight” in 1956 on CBS. It was directed by Rod Serling (”The Twilight Zone”) and starred Jack Palance.  

A country boy out of his element, Harold Tibbetts (Aldo Ray) is reminiscent of when Tennessee Ernie Ford visited the Ricardos on “I Love Lucy.” Like Cousin Ernie, Harold has an enormous appetite and can't return home because he has no money. He also tends to speak with homespun wit.

Harold also resembles another visitor to the Ricardo apartment, Mario (Jay Novello), the “Visitor From Italy” (ILL S6;E5). Like Harold, Mario had no cash to and had to go to work – in his case making pizza.

But “K.O. Kitty” most closely resembles a 1967 episode of “The Lucy Show” titled “Lucy, the Fight Manager” (TLS S5;E20) starring Don Rickles as a washed-up boxer named Eddie who Lucy Carmichael decides to train at home. Lucy dubs herself 'Killer Carmichael' and even jumps rope in tandem with Eddie, a stunt she learned to do for “K.O. Kitty.”  Despite being by different writers, both scripts contain characters named Louie.  

Lucille Ball also played characters named Kitty in the films Follow the Fleet (1936), Without Love (1945), and The Facts of Life (1960). A name featuring two-syllables ending with 'y' made reminded the listener of 'Lucy'.

Eight months later “The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse” did another story about prizefighting titled “The Killer Instinct” starring Rory Calhoun and Janice Rule. It was based on the career of ex-boxer Joe Barnum.

The Episode

Desi Arnaz introduces the program, noting that it is a special episode because it stars “his favorite redhead” Lucille Ball.  

The story opens with Kitty at work, teaching dance. She is trying to get Mr. Brubaker (Harry Cheshire) to do the Cha-Cha.

Kitty: “Your feet are doing the cha-cha-cha but your hips are back in the rumba class.”

During the dance lesson, we learn that Kitty is engaged to an up-and-coming lawyer named David (William Lundigan) who won't marry her until he gets a partnership in his law firm, Abbott Parker and Jones. She tells Mr. Brubaker that he is dancing with an 'heiress' due to her Uncle Charlie dying and leaving her a diamond stick-pin, a gold pocket watch, and a dog – a boxer, to be precise.

David (William Lundigan) tells Kitty he is going away on a business trip to San Francisco for a week. During their romantic dinner, there is a knock on the door and the boxer arrives – Harold Tibbetts, professional prize fighter. Tibbetts admits he's not really from Ogalala, Nebraska, but from Crockett – just “a hoot and holler” away.

Harold: “I'm so hungry, my stomach's a-growlin' like hound dog's just smelled a weasel in a hen house.”

Overcome with a sense of loyalty to her Uncle Charlie, Kitty agrees to manage Harold. She arranges for Harold to fight the impressive Tommy Thompson, a powerhouse that no one wants to go up against. Kitty cannot afford the gym fees so trains him at her apartment.  

The name Tommy Thompson was also the name of a producer who worked extensively with Lucille Ball starting in 1964. In 1958 he was on the Desilu lot working as assistant director on “The Danny Thomas Show” 

Kitty sends Harold off to the store to buy training supplies while she stays behind at the gym to observe and pick up some pointers on boxing. First, she indulges in a little shadow boxing. Next she tries to use a punching bag, but it punches back – right in her face. Remembering how to jump rope from her childhood, she jumps into a boxer's reps keeping time with a schoolyard rhyme. These are all prime opportunities for Lucille Ball to indulge in some of her well-hone physical comedy skills.

Back at the apartment, there is a montage of scenes of Kitty training Harold. He knocks the punching bag out the window, shatters a mirror while shadow boxing, and crashes to the floor while jumping rope. Kitty decides that the best training for klutzy Harold would be dancing lessons.  

They begin lessons by dancing to “I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby” by Jimmy McHugh and Dorothy Fields. The song was introduced on Broadway in Blackbirds of 1928. 

The dance lesson scene is nearly identical to when Lucy Ricardo taught awkward Arthur Morton (Richard Crenna) to dance in “The Young Fans” (ILL S1;E20) in 1952. 

David returns unexpectedly from San Francisco to find Kitty and Harold in a carefree clinch. Kitty attempts to explain what is going on but it devolves into an argument and David storms out.  

Using Kitty's dance steps and her singing “I Can't Give You Anything But Love” from ringside as inspiration, Harold surprisingly wins his bout against Tommy Thompson.  

He then wins a second fight.

And a third!

With a fourth K.O. under his belt thanks to Kitty, he eyes the title!  

Barney Snyder (Jesse White) and David conspire to get Kitty out of the fight game – for both their sake. Snyder and Louie (Sid Melton) show up at Kitty's apartment, guns drawn, to convince Lucy that they are crooks, and that the fight is fixed.  

Meanwhile, back at the gym, 'Two Step Tibbetts' (as he's now called) is waiting for Kitty to arrive knowing he can't win the fight without her singing ringside while he spars. David arrives to tell Harold the bad news that Kitty will be detained. He learns from Harold that earlier that day they decided that this would be his last fight. David offers to sing instead of Kitty, but Harold can't remember the name of the song – except that the word 'love' was in the title.

Still at gunpoint, Kitty watches the match from home on TV. When Barney and Louis become engrossed in the fight, Kitty hides in the closet. This is very reminiscent of “Ricky and Fred are TV Fans” (ILL S2;E30) where Lucy and Ethel manage to evade the police when they can't take their eyes off a televised boxing match. 

Meanwhile, back at the ring, Harold is taking a beating while David rattles off the title of every 'love' song he can think of, including a few bars of “I Love You Truly,” a traditional wedding song.

Barney and Louis confess to Kitty that they made up their story about being mobsters. Their guns are actually cigarette lighters! They spill the beans to Kitty about their plans. In order to get to the stadium as fast as possible, Kitty pretends she's going to have a baby and gets a police escort. Kitty and David rush to the ringside in time to sing the song, which everyone in the stadium joins in.  At the final moment, Harold lands a knock out punch and wins the fight. David and Kitty make-up with a kiss as the program ends. 

Ringside With Lucy

Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz ended up at the fights in the last scene of 1951’s “The Girls Want to Go to a Nightclub” (ILL S1;E1), the very first “I Love Lucy” episode ever aired.

Everyone but Lucy and Ethel seem to be watching the fights on television in “Ricky and Fred are TV Fans” (ILL S2;E30).

This Date in Lucy History ~ November 17

"Lucy and the Used Car Dealer" (HL S2;E9) ~ November 17, 1969