#therentyoupay livable

[therentyoupay]

She can tell that they’re talking about her (or half-talking, who knows) the moment she steps out of the room. They could be trying to re-evaluate their current situation, perhaps, which isn’t precisely what she’d been hoping for. She is a guest, but she is also an intruder; she is welcomed, but she also feels very much the third wheel—whether they want to see it that way or not. Elsa swirls the water in her glass, thinking of Anna and poor (past, current) decisions and True Love gone horribly, horribly wrong, and what it means for all of them now.

So much for finding a solution.

Elsa drinks and refills her small glass two times before she considers herself ready to venture back out and watch the easy, friendly interactions of her sister and her sister’s roommate. When she shuts off the tap, she realizes that someone else has already entered the kitchen.

“Hey,” says Jack, gently, as soon as she has the courage to turn around. He looks twitchy and uncertain, and a little off-balance. He keeps trying to stick his hands in his pockets, only to realize that his pajama pants have none. “How’re you doing?”

Elsa’s smile is genuine, if not very tired; it’s late, and she’s not really enjoying herself, after all. She opens her mouth to make an excuse, then realizes—there’s no need. What comes out is a sigh instead.

“Sorry,” she laughs, then hums. “I’m actually pretty tired.”

It’s a little disconcerting—and also a tiny bit sweet—to see how quickly and how powerfully Jack associates this feeling of Elsa’s with his personal interference this evening. She can tell from the gape of his mouth, the wince to his eyes, and by the slant to his shoulders that he feels guilty, which is—well. Which is currently how Elsa is feeling too, so now what are they supposed to do about it?

Jack’s face contorts, then goes unhelpfully blank. Dissatisfied with his absence of pockets, Jack instead hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his pants. He does not seem to realize the effect this has on the amount of skin visible at his stomach… particularly the lower abdominals, where they cut into the faintest shape of a V over his hips. Before she can tear her eyes away, she catches the unsettling sight of a fine dusting of hair down his navel, disappearing into the low-slung, pulled-down waistband of his pants. Her eyes jerk back to his, prepared to fight or fly, but Jack is not looking at her directly.

“I promise we’re usually… more fun than this?” Jack scratches at the back of his head, uneasy and avoiding her gaze. “Or, like… I don’t know. I’ve just… had a weird day, is all? I really didn’t mean to take over your night.”

Elsa looks down into her water. “That’s very… sweet,” she concedes. “But it’s not necessary. You didn’t do anything wrong, especially not by coming home to your own apartment.”

“Yeah, well. I mean.” He shrugs. “You’re bored.”

His voice is calm, but his posture claims that he is personally affronted by this. Like this is a matter of personal responsibility. Elsa finds herself grinning a little in amusement; it’s not like she doesn’t know what that feels like.

“I like being able to see your friendship in action,” she claims teasingly, but Jack is not having any of it.

“Yeah, well, what about you? I mean—where’s your action?”

Elsa raises a single brow.

“That’s not—that’s not what I meant.” Jack heaves an exasperated sigh. “Look, I just wanted to come in and apologize, because I’m feeling kind of like a selfish douchebag, and I just wanted to let you know that there’s a spot on the floor with your name on it, if you want it.” He seems to think better of himself. “Next to Anna, I mean. On her side.”

Elsa nods, slow and sage. “Very appropriate,” she manages, without cracking too much of a grin.

“Yeah. Yes. Right.”

Elsa waits a beat. “All right. Thank you.”

“Course,” says Jack, and stands there.

She nods slowly to herself, and tries not to drown in the silence. She can feel the familiar stirrings of panic begin to wake inside her, but two deep breaths help her to recenter before the feeling has a chance to emerge. Jack seems to be waiting for an answer, she realizes.

“I’ll just be another minute,” she announces awkwardly, and Jack trips over himself as he straightens and turns back to return to the living room.

“Right. Totally. Yeah, we’ll see you—just a minute.”

Elsa is left alone in the kitchen once more.

————

start from the beginning of livable 🎄🎁❤️

[therentyoupay]

“Jack—“ she sighs softly, and he startles when she stands, the blankets shifting and pooling onto the cushions of the couch. She brushes a few strands of hair behind her ear as she edges closer and tries to ignore the way he stiffens in obvious discomfort when she stops just a few paces away. “I’m sorry—Anna and I can easily move ourselves over to my apartment for the night. It’s really no problem.”

He tries to shutter his emotions by glancing quickly to the door, pretending like he might be mulling it over or thinking of what to say, but before he can cover himself completely, Elsa witnesses a quick flash of an emotion that she hadn’t been expecting. As realization dawns, Elsa feels inexcusably rude for presuming so much with so little knowledge of who he is, and for automatically believing that the best way to fix this miscommunication would be the solution that she herself might have wanted.

“Or,” she adds, because even as she curses her inability to simply let the man speak, she simply can’t help herself. (He just usually has so much more to say?) “This might sound rather bizarre, considering that this living space is half yours, but… you’re more than welcome to join us, of course. If you’d like.”

Jack cracks a smile at that, and Elsa feels her chest begin to warm with the start of what could hopefully amount to a satisfying end after such a disastrous start.

“For girls’ night?” he clarifies, clearly amused.

Elsa finds herself crossing her arms—a behavioral pattern that has erupted so frequently in Jack’s presence that it’s beginning to feel a little too familiar. (She usually prefers to keep her hands clasped gently at her front; over the years, she’s found that it helps her appear more approachable, but with Jack, she seems to keep fighting to find a hundred and one different ways to keep her distance, at least when he gets like this.) As Jack’s grin grows more genuine—more amused—Elsa feels her heart begin to hammer, defensive and alert. Her crossed arms tighten, and Elsa chides herself for getting so easily caught up in such a childish moment again. She does not want to pick up any poor habits, especially now.

And yet.

“For the newly-discovered tradition of Christmas Eve Eve,” Elsa declares, arms crossed, with all the regal austerity of an official royal verdict… not to mention the mischievous gleam of a woman who is at least three years his senior. There is a striking amount of challenge that she has let seep into these words, and Elsa hopes (believes) that her bait will take hold; Jack is by no means a predictable creature, but in many ways, he is still very much a friendly (lonely), cocky (humble) young man.

It has not escaped Elsa’s notice that he’s made no mention of his supposed plans to visit family. 

“I’m no master brewer of hot chocolate like Anna is,” Elsa warns, as if he’s already given his answer, “and we may not share the same tastes in holiday films, but I hardly think it’s a terrible way to spend an evening.”

Jack laughs, easily, and his hand slides over his face with the most interesting mix of reluctance and curiosity and pleasantry she has ever seen. He seems just as hesitant to accept her offer as he is dying to snatch it up.

“I don’t know,” he admits, with an air so unlike his usual bravado that it makes her heart stutter, just a bit. “You sure you want me hanging around your sisterly-bonding time? That stuff’s important, isn’t it?”

He is being purposely flippant, but his curiosity is so earnest and so unsure that a new flood of thoughts and concerns slip into Elsa’s mind. What, really, had he intended for this evening? Had he told Anna the truth about leaving early for the holidays since she’d claimed to be doing the same? Where had he been planning to go… if anywhere? They are worrisome questions, but perhaps not yet within her right.

————

start from the beginning of livable 🎄🎁❤️

[therentyoupay]

“This year has been kind of wild, hasn’t it?” Anna muses much, much later that evening, well into the second round of dessert. Elsa looks up, startled by the wave of somber thoughtfulness from Anna’s side of the table. She isn’t quite sure what’s going on in her own headspace, let alone her sister’s.

“I mean,” Anna’s face crumbles, and she hides it poorly, “between me moving around so much, and finding my new job, and. You know. Dealing with Hans.”

Elsa’s fingers tighten imperceptibly on the handle of her fork. She lets Anna talk, and offers her a single encouraging nod, precise and controlled. Anna’s mouth is brave, tiny smiles and courageous words, but her eyes glisten with disappointment, with fear, with countless questions that Elsa cannot answer.

“I guess I wasn’t expecting my life to really… turn out like this?”

That makes two of us, Elsa can’t help but think but doesn’t dare let the thought rise any closer to the surface. These thoughts are not fair, she knows. They are not real, or maybe they are, but perhaps they shouldn’t be; Elsa has made her own decisions, and Anna has made hers—because Anna is an adult, because she’s starting to think like one—and now the two of them are left to pick up the pieces.

“I can understand that feeling,” Elsa shares, reluctant to offer anything more encouraging, such as no one does, really, or there’s still so much more, and your life isn’t over yet. “Sometimes plans change.”

Anna makes a face. “Sometimes for the better,” she mutters darkly, grimacing into her cup of cold tea. Elsa faintly wonders when Anna will think to reheat it but lets her make that choice on her own; she tries to keep a tally in her head, these days, of how many choices she consciously relents to Anna. She knows Anna does not notice. “Like. A hell of a lot better.”

Elsa cracks an amused grin at the grit in Anna’s voice, of fire and violence, and you won’t fool me again, and allows herself a deep sigh of unexpected relief.

“It’s okay to blame me, you know,” Anna’s confession cuts through the contented haze of Elsa’s awareness. Her sister’s eyes are so honest, and all over again, Anna is breaking, breaking her heart. “You gave up your doctoral program for me.”

Elsa turns her gaze to the contents of her mug, still warm. Whatever she says next will stay in Anna’s heart forever; she wants to make sure the words are the right ones.

“I did,” she answers eventually. “But I left for me, too.”

“But you’ve been waiting for that opportunity your whole life,” Anna insists, and her cheeks are dry but there are tears in her voice, in her throat, in her essence. “You want it. And you gave it up, because I’m a mess.”

“No,” Elsa corrects. “I withdrew because life is a mess.” She thinks in sudden waves and flashes—of freedom, of feeling trapped by four walls and a bedroom set of furniture, of opportunity, of wanting escape but not knowing how to find it, of feeling crowded and alone, of realizing that control is relative and everything and nothing, and says, “It may not have been the best thing to do, but it was the best decision we could have made at the time. It happened because it needed to happen.” Elsa lets that sink in. “And I’ll go back someday.”

“When?” Anna wants to know.

But Elsa still doesn’t really have an answer.

————

start from the beginning of livable 🎄🎁❤️

[therentyoupay]

wip ---

livable:

Jack has been instructed to procure the wine.

“Get the one I usually get!” Anna had said. “And then buy this one for Elsa! She always has a bottle in her apartment!” Anna had said, and then passed him an index card with half a sticker stuck to it, as well as a name of a wine-type that he can’t pronounce. It’s a brand that is from some country he has never been to, for all that scoffs at Buns, says that he’d like to one day just grab a backpack and camp across the world.

Right. Wine. Focus.

Clear instructions. Simple enough. Anna even gave him spending money.

But there’s a problem.

“Sorry, son,” says the cashier at the counter, a miserly gentleman who doesn’t look at him as he passes back the index card, which Jack has handed over in lieu of attempting to read it aloud. “This an import. We don’t sell that here.”

Jack stares at the countertop, where the only thing he sees is the lonely bottle of Anna’s favorite seven-dollar (or any-dollar) wine.

It takes him a moment to speak. There isn’t any Plan B.

“Uh... any idea where I can buy it?”

The miserly gentleman scoffs. Similarly, instead of telling Jack the answer, he merely points to the globe that he’s conveniently placed on the counter alongside the register. Jack’s not too bad with geography, but the man’s fingers are heavy and clumsy; the index finger lands somewhere in the realm of Scandinavia.

“Ah,” says Jack.

Honestly, from that moment, he should have known the evening was doomed.

[therentyoupay]

Idk, I just thought about the roommates au, and Elsa getting jealous after seeing Jack with some girl, and now it won't leave me alone. I really want to read more of this au and find out what's going on with Jack's family and Elsa and Anna. Ugh, I hope you will uptade soon, I love your writing. x

thank you, lovely! i’m afraid i haven’t really felt any serious urge to write for it recently (D: D: D: D:), probably because (1) i’ve gotten very caught up in other projects in recent weeks and (2) livable is kind of at a nice standing point at the moment! it’s not a complete storyline by any means, but i kind of like where it’s at. a fic that’s easy on the angst?? SUCH RARITYi’m sure inspiration will pop in eventually, but i can’t say ‘when’ or ‘how’ with any kind of certainty. usually when i find myself back on the old campus at college parties that usually contain more than i bargained for

thank you for your patience and support!! ♡♡♡♡♡ i’m glad there are still people out there who remember it and care about it! 

[therentyoupay]

I absolutely adore your Roommate AU! :D

not gonna lie, i have definitely been wanting to write a brotp!kristoff/esla fic, and i could dig a ‘anna good-naturedly and foolishly/tragically tries to set-up kristoff with her sister oh no now everyone is jealous and/or just friends’ flawed wingman trope. i’m not so sure the roommate au is the best place for it at this time, but if i change my mind for some reason, you SHOULD TELL ME WHO YOUARE SO I CAN CREDIT YOUUU. anyway, thanks for leaving some love in my askbox!

[therentyoupay]

I am not much on tumblr anymore but i'll have you know that i still tumblr-stalk your tumblr cos atc and livable and ctpff are WHAT I LIVE FORRRRRRR (sorry if that came out creepy T_T) ALSO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MASTERS AND ALL THE POSITIVITY GOING ON IN YOUR LIIIIFEEEE I'm so glad things are going well for you :))))

THANK YOU LOVELY SUPPORTIVE ANNONNYYYYY

[therentyoupay]

Aahh I'm still very much invested in 'livable' in fact I've been spending most of my time thinking of the best/worst (interesting/dramatic/jack-like, elsa-like, Anna-like??) things that could happen at a dinner party 🍷🍴

ahhhhhhhhhhhh, i’m so glad!!! i’m having so much fun that i honestly don’t mind just writing it for the sake of writing something for myself, but it’s nice to know that other people are enjoying these awkward shenanigans too. it’s nice to write something that’s just pure slice of life awkward funny cute fluffy UST again, reminds me of the vibes i got from frosted sea glass. 

i’ve already got a few interesting tidbits written, but if you get struck with inspiration before this evening (i haven’t taken any specific prompts taken just yet, but i’m still open!) please send them away! i’m hoping to have the new chapter posted tonight or tomorrow. :)

maybe this story will be done by the end of next week?? i’m not kidding about getting these WIPs finished, lol. 

thanks for checking in!!

[therentyoupay]

livable ;

i am feeling generous/curious: i already have plans for the next livable/roommate au chapter but i'm opening it up to y'all too! what is the worst/best thing that could happen at the dinner-date? what scenarios do you want me to write? if i'm inspired by your prompts/suggestions, i will definitely credit you for your idea(s)! fun fact: hoping to have this story finished/wrapped-up by the end of january!!