#theres no 2nd chance to live life prettier

[empty-flat-n-lonely-bys]

...

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 1:16 pm this city helps me forget love doesn't bore me. it disappoints me.

there is a pile of lamps and clocks stuck on 11:11. cause i wish i could fucking believe you. Saturday, January 21st, 2006 12:17 pm i hate you and i hope you die. yes. i realize that you will make fun of me/take stabs at me/post ridiculous pictures of me. i realize that because of this band i have given up some of my privacy and personal life. i accept that. i can laugh at myself. i realize i will get called a douchbag. i get what i get.

i have begun reading things about my friends and family.

that i will not accept.

i read things written by people who kiss my ass to my face. i remember who you are.

fuck you.

bring it on me. please leave my friends and family alone. it is extremely hurtful to me.

if anyone is a friend of mine out there please tell your friends.

i on the otherhand am open game. i have a good laugh at all of the stuff written about me. i am silly, i realize that.

thank you.

peter Thursday, January 19th, 2006 1:55 am wahahahahaha. i laughed for like a million hours at the shittalking over at: www.friendsorenemies.com

its way fun to see your friends make fun of you. it keeps you levelheaded.

it has gone live. Sunday, January 15th, 2006 3:23 pm its too hard living where we don't belong i fear this may all have been a mistake.

love,

little Saturday, January 14th, 2006 4:14 pm "noones ever been this good for this long" this is everything i am thinking right now with out transition. i apologize for my brains lack of linear thought processing: i hate the way it gets dark so early here this time of year. i guess "seasonal depression" kind of falls under "ADD" and "post tramatic whatever disorder" for me. i feel like its science from the madhatter down the rabbit hole. not too real. but lately i just wake up blue - my only thought is- how soon will the day be over so i can get back into bed. i open my eyes just a tiny bit and blur the numbers on the clock with my eyelashes. every word you say rolls off of my back - the praises and the barbs. i don't hear either, ever. sometimes the tips of my fingers itch from the back of my head- just to get the chance to tear someone to pieces and just barely let them off the hook. i swear to god, i was asleep alone. quick text me an alibi and oh god please don't dust the keyboard for prints. sometimes i stare out of the frosted window and make up stories as people walk by. the bottled blonde, park ave. princess walking whichever dog matches her coat. you know how i could turn your world upsidedown. its not love if a day goes by when you don't think about dropping it. its not the world keeping you on the outside, its you not wanting to be on the inside. everyone wants to be the first. buts its okay to be the second if you understand it better, if you make it look prettier. worn down doesn't even touch this. and theres nothing worse than when someone acts like they have you figured out, when you haven't even figured yourself out. nice boys don't write good stories or sing good songs. and his songs are boring. and his stories are just personal ads set to background music. i found the skeleton key for wedlock but i am holding off on telling her. on telling anyone for that matter. consistent inconsistency. thats all you ever have to remember and you'll do okay with me. dancers are always strippers. and paying their way through college is the BE VE. oh and hey pete do you remember the way the world used to trick you with fifty degrees in january and orange leaves in june? button your jacket tight, don't believe everything you read... don't even believe everything you wrote. i'm tired of always leaving. i'm tired of the way things always/never change. swim upstream until your gills bleed just because thats what genetic encoding commands. there aren't any trophies that are really worth it in the end. they can put you in a box when you are very young, so you'll be a pretty corpse but there are too many pages filled with too many words to lie beside you forever. intelligent design is the last great joke i heard. but honestly, no one will ever stay where i tell them, least of all the years. they keep moving. worlds greatest liar and how do you know i'm not lying when i tell you this right now? and thats coming from the king of one-liners. copy and pasted - long live the away message. kiss the monitor. fast asleep baby. Friday, January 6th, 2006 8:11 pm i am just a hot mess. i woke up to the feeling of myself throwing up today. pretty much put a damper on the entire day. i ate about 50 stomach pills and then threw them all up- it was a pretty color in the toilet. my toungue is black on the top right now. i am pretty sure thats a bad thing. i watched way too much gastinaeu (however you spell it) girls today. i think it made me sicker. it took me awhile to realize that they were mother and daughter and not sisters- but the mom is kinda hot in pissy kind of way. my mom is out of town so there was noone here to take care of me- my brother was around but hes pretty much always bongzilla'd. so i waited for back-up caretakers to arrive- one of them was busy cutting hair and the other has like a "real" job besides being dad.

the best part about vomitting alone in the morning is the way the bathroom tiles feel kinda cool in a pleasant way so i took a nap there for a bit. i want to see hostel tonight but the problem is all the vomitting- see its not that i mind so much its just what if i run into someone in my sicky gear and puke on them?

wow. i am glad i did this update. arent you?

im gonna leave the comments open cause i never do- just write down the first thing that comes into your mind when you see that reply button- heres mine:

i am just a hot mess. (1330 Comments |Comment on this) Saturday, December 24th, 2005 9:57 pm blue christmas so i was sitting around this christmas. just kinda getting bummed out looking at the lights outside of shiny houses in my neighborhood and decided that it was time fall out boy gave somethng back. we decided to pick a cause that we feel is often overlooked- education of poor people in africa (specifically ethiopia). we feel like education is one of the most important building blocks in change- so after doing some research we found and organization that we felt really was doing it right: www.a-cet.org - this isn't some glossy amazing press piece it is doing something quietly to make a change- and we loved that. so we decided to put a couple of old and rare FOB and clandestine items up on ebay. here's the deal- if you dont see the link off of a fall out boy site than don't trust that it is us doing it- part two- keep bidding the more we can help the better. and three we will keep adding more items up here for a bit so keep checking back. they are all legitimate and endorsed by FOB and all items will come signed. happy bidding:

a clandestine shirt sample that was never made: http://cgi.ebay.com/never-produced-clandestine-shirt-sample-fall-out-boy_W0QQitemZ4812617551QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

breakdance not hearts shirt worn on big in 05 awards: http://cgi.ebay.com/clandestine-breakdance-not-hearts-shirt-fall-out-boy_W0QQitemZ4812615104QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

giant moonman pez dispenser given to nominees at the VMAs http://cgi.ebay.com/giant-VMA-moonman-pez-dispenser_W0QQitemZ4812612435QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

complete set of take this to your grave trading cards. including rare card: http://cgi.ebay.com/fall-out-boy-trading-card-lot-takethistoyourgrave_W0QQitemZ4812607828QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

new:

original bleach "i am the dream" shirt clandestine: http://cgi.ebay.com/original-bleach-clandestine-shirt-i-am-the-dream_W0QQitemZ4812798220QQcategoryZ52473QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

original secret order shirt http://cgi.ebay.com/secret-order-of-FOB-shirt-hyper-limited_W0QQitemZ4812800208QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

alternative press poster signed by entire band http://cgi.ebay.com/alternative-press-poster-fall-out-boy-limited_W0QQitemZ4812796786QQcategoryZ52473QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

spend your xmas cash... Thursday, December 8th, 2005 3:34 am last week i got to hold a baby orangatan (spelled completely wrong).

that was the best moment of my life.

ill try to find a picture.

try to imagine a regular baby, mixed with a puppy, mixed with the song "dont stop believin" by journey. Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005 12:59 am sometimes my own words dont suffice. "i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us i hope we come up witha fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us i hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight and i hope we hang on past the last exit, i hope its already too late and i hope that the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down and i hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and i never come back to this town again. in my life i hope i lie and tell everyone you were a good wife and i hope you die. i hope we both die" Sunday, November 20th, 2005 1:36 pm sometimes its like never started sometimes it like its never gonna end Friday, November 11th, 2005 12:35 pm i won't tell a soul if you dont want me to. hearts between our knees sticking to summer sheets. Saturday, November 5th, 2005 4:59 pm keep me fast the way he runs his mouth its a wonder that i havent caught a flight home just for a second alone the way he runs my mouth makes me hate you just as much as him thank god i spend most of the daylight dreaming in wine colored beads the sun never caught me right when i was little i splash water on my face in sinks in green rooms like pinching yourself or trying to wash the miles off down a dark hotel hallway the finger prints in pink and blue like skin and veins i try to jump from the doorway to the bed so i dont leave footprints so i dont disturb the carpet like sand you want shyer eyes you want bigger "im sorry"s and regrets for things that i.Yo.u. did you want survivors in the wreckage you want flashlights in the cave you want second chances for second chances i loved everything about you that hurts your scars, your flaws, your not so subtle attempts at wit and irony that always fell a bit short and felt forced your insincerity, your imitation that you passed off as exploration your morning smile 3 year stand (off) her breathing is shallow she shakes whenever i get near- i guess its an occupational hazard its okay we dont have to talk. youre just a body. heaven sent and percoset. even though we're fading fast.... im sorry "pretty"- you were just a canary in a coal mine. Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 7:57 pm there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how im not even too sure what goes on, especially in my own head. one second its one way and the next its another. i have a funny way of showing i care. but i do. i have to say it- halloween wasn't the same this year with out you. i i had the best time ever in southern california. but it wasn't really halloween with out you. and new years won't either. my calls go out today but they'renot picked up. i get what i get. i got some friends who are wearing their egos on their sleeves. its ok. i'll play dumb. you are a shadow of who you once were. "can we start agains" ive had my share. for the past month my mood has been however our phone calls ended. it felt like i was dying inside when i hung up the phone on you. but i have to make a point. you can only act like dirt for so long before you become it. but theres nobody like me and you. i feel like veins and ligatures when you aren't around. and breathing in isnt the same when you're not breathing out. percoset revolutionary. "look mom, no breathing". fucking fading. fucked up, but not cool fucked up. maybe we rip the map in half and someday we meet up in the middle. by accident or just because. everything and everyone ends up faced down on the floor in the end.

you are my wonderwall. Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 6:51 pm my mom said 'make sure you go to sleep smiling tonight baby cause you'll wake up feeling better" i just re-read everything you wrote over the past two months.

i miss my friends.

there is life after this. i promise myself. Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 10:51 pm everything they say about us is true im watching scary movies like every afternoon. i got some new slipper and pants. i look ridiculous. dreamboat. the inside of my head is always changing. even right this second. when i go back over all the details it makes me so glad im not in that town anymore. all of a sudden we're always in the crosshairs. it kinda feels normal now. we used to goof around about killing ourselves off. but sometimes it wasn't a joke. i can't sleep when the bus isn't moving. went to the fender offices today, they are gonna make me some basses. pretty exciting. the only thing ive ever learned is that its pretty easy to say "i love you" its alot harder to mean it. my friends are dropping like flies. everyone looks good when they are the one with their fingers on the keyboards. history is written by the conquerer. we're headlining an amphitheater tommorrow. thats retarded. fistfightking. makeoutqueen. past midnights. get amazed.

Current Music: 2sweet