#thesmartassdetective

[thesmartassdetective]

» Main Street, Birch Street, Higgins Drive, Colbalt Line. «

„New York may be the city that never sleeps, but it sure does sleep around. Not that I’m complaining. Cheaters are good for business. The big part of the job is looking for the worst in people. Turns out I excel at that. Clients hire me to find dirt. And I find it, which shouldn’t surprise them, but it does.“ 

ALIAS INVESTIGATIONS, 485 W 46th Street, New York, NY 10036

― bisexual private investigator, owned a detective agency, suffering from PTSD and depression, alcoholic and gave all hopes up to being a hero, anyways she is a member of the defenders. Maybe she’s a hero? 

contact me @ tumblr (thesmartassdetective) and wire (smartassdetective)

[vergeltvng]

"Hey, William. Goddamn the pusher man, am I right? You really gonna shoot that shit in your veins?" "You know, I think I just might." "Odds are you'll die screaming." "Well, I've gambled more for less." "I don't think you're gonna do it. Turn yourself into a Supe? That's a new low, even for you." "Oh, I can go lower. I can go straight to hell."

THE ONLY MAN IN THE SKY — 3x02

[This was one of the most intense character moments ever. His voice trembling in the end when he said "Becca don't care what I do" gave me the chills.]

REPOST THREE FAVORITE PICTURES OF YOURS, PUT A RIGHT QUOTE UNDER THEM AND TAG PERSONS.

tagged by: @thesmartassdetective tagging: @arasanwar @dear-diary-of-disaster @heartofglass-mindofstone @revenantslayer @a-neverending-story

[ertraeumte]

SEXUAL PREFERENCES

BOLD - applies always. ITALIC - applies only sometimes/dependent on partner

INCLINATIONS/HABITS: is submissive | is dominant | prefers to top | prefers to bottom | likes to switch | identifies as heterosexual | identifies as homosexual | identifies as bisexual | identifies as pansexual | identifies as demisexual | identifies as asexual | identifies as a f*cking problem | enjoys sex with men | enjoys sex with women | enjoys sex with multiple people at one time | initiates | waits for partner to initiate | spits | swallows | prefers sex in the morning | prefers sex at night | prefers sex any time | no sex drive | low sex drive | average sex drive | high sex drive | hypersexual

BODY/APPEARANCE: small build | medium build | athletic build | muscular build | curvy build | voluptuous build | wears boxers | wears lingerie | goes ‘commando’( totally naked counts, doesn't it?) | shaves/waxes | doesn’t shave/wax | cup size a-c | cup size d-f | 1-5" in length | 6-9" in length | 10" or over in length

SOUNDS: is silent/makes little to no sounds | is very quiet | is very loud | grows in volume over time | bites hand/partner/pillow to muffle themselves | calls out partner’s name | curses | fakes/exaggerates | prefers a quiet partner | prefers a loud partner | prefers a responsive partner | is turned on by dirty talk | is turned off by dirty talk (if you suck at it)

TURN-ONS/KINKS: having their hands pinned | pinning their partner’s hands | having their hair pulled | pulling their partner’s hair | being watched by their partner | being watched by a third party | watching their partner | receiving oral | giving oral | calling their partner ‘daddy’ | being called ‘daddy’ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting/marking | being bitten/marked | spanking | being spanked | teasing | being teased | having toys used on them | using toys on their partner | giving anal | receiving anal  | choking | being choked | dirty talk | being tied up | tying their partner up | being worshiped | worshipping their partner | humiliating | being humiliated | degrading | being degraded | knife play | blood play | being pegged | pegging

tagged by: @trauma-report & @heartofglass-mindofstone & @thesmartassdetective

[trauma-report]

what part of this haunted house are you?

the windows

Tell me, do you look inwards or out? You’re a dreamer who feels just a little too much about things just a little too out of reach. There’s a longing trapped inside of you, to be a part of the nature that you look over every day, and you resent the way people look through you with that same longing. They don’t get it. You watch them in the garden, see them get absorbed into nature little by little. They don’t feel it as strongly as you do. Still, when a new tenant moves in, a baby with them this time, you have to look inside as the house moves to absorb them before nature can. It hurts what remains of your heart, your still beating heart that feels just a little too much.

tagged by: @caughtbetweenworlds and @thesmartassdetective

tagging: everyone who wants to

[hollywoods-hearthrob]

„A suit is the uniform of success. And elegance.“ – And successful has this year been! It was a year of losses, a year of self-discovery, a year of gratitude and a year of new and old friends. Now, with 2023 right around the corner, I stand here to thank all of the wonderful people that spend this extremely crazy and instructive year 2022 by my side! I have learned so much from you and I am looking forward to learn and experience even more great moments with you! Let us be open to the wonders and new possibilities of the coming year. And now only one thing remains for me to say: Rock'n'Roll!

My two best friends: @spanishmajesty & @nightson-kyle . Thank you all and see you next year: @another-potter @treatmewkindnesss @der-blutsturm @thenightiscallingmex @giantstrength @mente-concluyente @cursedsou-l @lucealbuio @playlistofmylife @sinanddesire @xkingofspeedforce @footprintsinhellfire @starsbetweenhearts @adventures-of-madelyn @walkinggoddessx @sp4cew4lker @thesmartassdetective @screamingintothedarkness @nightmare-on-milkyways @lightituup @teresa-rideordie ! Auf euch!

[purebloodhcir]

𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋⠀ — 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐓𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘!

the last song i listened to — sex, drugs, etc by beach weather.

favorite color — dark green and black.

currently watching — the quidditch pitch from my window.

last movie I watched — star wars.

spicy/savoury/sweet — guess i have something of a sweet tooth.

relationship status — ready to commit crimes for my man.

last thing i googled — how to hex your bffs without killing them.

current obsession — candied apples from honeydukes, kicking my brothers ass, coffee with cinnamon syrup, stargazing (w/ barty)

Tagged by — @drachenfaust thanks for that!

Tagging — @poisenddeatheater @daemonoria @thesmartassdetective @eisherz

[bloodinhersmile]

What kind of fantasy dagger would you own?

𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫'𝔰 𝔡𝔞𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯

this is a dagger made perfectly for you, made to slice just as fast and viciously as its namesake. it is sleek, yet eye catching, just like its wielder. you would be fit as an assassin, using the night as your cover as you traverse over towers and walls, leaving no sound behind. just like a snake, you'd strike suddenly, and later immediately disappear you're calm, controlled, and merciless, and they'll never catch up to you.

tagged by: @punishingskull

tagging: @starborn-princess @fvvckinawesxme @thesmartassdetective @all of you

[we-lost-our-dream]

Hakuna Ma'Vodka – It means no memories for the rest of your night. A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.

@thesmartassdetective

[tastelikecvndy]

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀C O M F Y A S H E L L

Did you ever saw a hero wearing a crop top and jeans? The casual comfy line of ɐlǝu for an everyday fit is about to drop! It combines the comfort you need all day with some great throwback vibes and still looking pretty fine.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ — @thesmartassdetective —

Even if you want to just feel the vibe while being home, the new collection is giving you exactly what you need. Some pattern but still wanna show some skin? I cannot see there any problems. Just look at the handsome outfit down here.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀— @devilishtemptation —

No sleeve and tight pants isn’t something you feel comfy in? That’s no problem either. I designed so many different pieces, from short sleeve to long sleeve to no sleeve at all. And you will still be able to show some skin but not too much at all. You like wide legs on jeans? Then the next one was just made for you.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — @whitewitchofsoho —

Are you more the classy kind but still wants it to be as comfortable as possible? To some it sounds like a problem but not for us. This time I even designed a small bag to this whole grey outfit and Felizé is completely rocking those grey heels. Some comfy, skintight jeans, an ribbed crop top and some nice ass jacket with some fake fur highlights and that’s it.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀— @angelicallygolden-soul —

“I need prints and some eye-catcher, even if it’s some casual clothing” — even if this is your requirement, I got you. Some red as hell pants, a printed crop top and to set an eye-catcher the animal printed jacket. The black convers set the perfect frame to the some more outgoing but still comfy outfit.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ — @lvcidxdreams —

If you don’t like any of these, I still decided to design some really casual clothes. Just like some pair of jeans, basic sleeves and jeans jackets. But who said this couldn’t be a outfit that make you look like a snack? Because just look down; she really do look like a snack without trying.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ — @blooded-knife —

There are still so many pieces we didn’t took pictures of/didn’t send to the models to take pictures in. So stay tuned and get ready to feel sexy and free in such comfy clothes!

And a special thank you to all my girls for always supporting me and rocking their job. I love every single on of you!

[getsherlock221b]

"Sometimes you have to look after your friends, even if you know that they can fight for themselves." – 💭 + 📷 by @thesmartassdetective

[thesmartassdetective]

Meet Jessica Jones: a private investigator and retired super hero based out of Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan, who goes from job to job as a hard living, rough talking, loner. (x/x)

[vergeltvng]

Create your muse!

tagged by: @heartofglass-mindofstone tagging: @arasanwar @thesmartassdetective @vikasgarden & whoever else feels cute

[ertraeumte]

8-𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧

Elsie, who has just been surprised by Jascha with a photo snapshot (presumably still on the run from dubious shadowy figures)

tagged by @ausgetrieben tagging @trauma-report, @thesmartassdetective

[brvkenpromises]

The December List

4th of December, 2020

Der heutige Post geht an einen Menschen, der bei mir leider viel zu sehr untergeht. Dieser Mensch ist bei mir egal in welcher Situation ich mich befinde, der mich immer mit einbezieht und bei der ich wirklich zu 100% sicher sein kann, dass nichts und niemand mich je ersetzen könne. Das geht an den Menschen, der mit meisterlicher Detektivarbeit mein Herz seit Anfang an gewonnen hat; das geht an dich, @thesmartassdetective 🤍

Jess, ich sage es dir wirklich viel zu selten, aber ich bin froh, dass ich dich habe. Unter all meinen Freunden bist du der Mensch, der mich wirklich egal wie viel wir miteinander reden, immer einbezieht, mich nie außen vorlässt oder zeitweise einen „besseren“ Ersatz hat. Eigentlich müsste ich dich viel mehr bei mir mit einbeziehen aber wenn ich ehrlich bin, mag ich dich mit der Welt einfach nicht teilen. Du bist mein eigenes kleines Paralleluniversum, weil du einfach jede Situation besser machst. Wir kennen uns diesen Monat einfach schon ein Jahr, und seit Tag 1 sind wir eine Einheit. Eine Einheit, auf die ich nicht stolzer sein könnte.

Du bist der Mensch, der immer auf mich achtet, sich niemals zu fein ist „Schwäche zu zeigen“ oder „anzukommen“, obwohl du dir schwer damit tust Gefühle als solches erst zuzulassen oder zu zeigen. Und trotz allem scheint es dir jedes Mal so kinderleicht zu fallen verbunden mit der puren Ehrlichkeit, die jedem deiner Worte entsprechen. Ich bin so unheimlich glücklich, dass wir uns vor gut einem Jahr über den Weg gelaufen sind und seither zwei Wege zu einem wurden. Ich hoffe wirklich, dass sich auch nicht nur eine einzige Sachen j e m a l s zwischen uns ändern wird. Du bist immer meine Art Ruhepol, weil ich kann mich streiten mit wem ich will, du gibst mir meine Gewohnheit, meine Ruhe und meine Sicherheit. Ich kann dir wirklich nicht genug danken, aber nimm das hier als Anfang. 💌

[hollywoods-hearthrob]

What does your heart look like?

a tangled ball of red strings

Who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face, and a pleasant song. Many idolize you or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

Tagged by: @thesmartassdetective

Tagging: @another-potter , @guardianofthekeys , @der-blutsturm

[xmutantsrpg-blog]

Andy James

Warning, please post soon or ask for a hiatus, or risk being dropped due to inactivity:

@highscxre-ptr, @blackqueenselene, @thesmartassdetective, @tinysonicscreamer, @directortoprofessor, @snowismyhome, @timexspace-asph, @scienceabovemorality, @carriethearakna

(those who recently came back from hiatus have leniency for a few days, this is just a warning)