#they are soooo fucked hahahhaha

[skimmeh]

They couldn't have even scripted that much of a mess up- I'm crying hahhahaha

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 10!!!!!!!!!!! THE FINALE: THE SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

I AM FUCKING MELTING!!!!!!!!

AND YOU CAN TAKE A PIC WITH JESUS CHRIST! NOOOOO VAN GOGH!!!! You wanna ride Lincoln's log? OH COME ON WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE TRAINS???? i know that the underground railway wasn't underground or a railway but- OH IM SORRY FUCK YOU TOO

amen brother!

Confucius with beard and moustache? Let's gooooo!!!!

Wait, Cloney Island is real? HELL YEAH ITS REAL WOOOOOOOOOO

whoopsie-doodle

OH so the intro isnt going to be the magestic sound we just heard??

Ah finally, Nostradamus!

hmmmJFrrietmmmmmmm

HMMMMMJOANABEMMMMMM

The themes have the same initials!! I love it!!

TOPHER!!!! he's just static there.... buT AT LEAST HE'S HERE!!!

ok, now im feeling like they're purposefully avoiding giving him screentime-

OH LIKE IN THE INTRO!!!

hehehe rebooting :v NOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T CANCEL IT!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

AUGH

OH OK-

OH NOOOO NOT THE SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE

EVAAAA!!!! CAMPEONA DEL MUNDO AAAA

WAIT WAIT

WHAT ISLAND IS THIS ONE?????

OK

you didn't get Confucius yet?/Abe was closest to you?

INTERESTING/IN WHAT WAY

JIJIJIJI JAJJAJAJA!!

I'm glad they aknowledge Topher being Joan's friend rather than Abe's- anyways this is how joanpher can still win-

ooooo how considerate~~THE HISTORICAL JOKES ARE SO GOOD!!!JFRRIET!!!!!!!!

ssssssss ooooooo my knees dont work~~~~ yes YESSS YEESSSS

YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

YES! I WAS SO RIGHT! I AM SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM!!!! YOUR ANGST RIDDEN ASS DON'T UNDERSTAND TOPHER... no no... Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND CHRISTOPHER LIKE I DO! He doesnt hate himself! He doesnt hate being the clone of an eViL colonizer or whatever! HE LOVES IT! HE LOVES HIMSELF! HE LOVES BEING HIMSELF!!! HE WANTS TO BE HIMSELF AND BE PROUD AND SUPER ANNOYING ABOUT IT!! And he can be Christopher Columbus here and make people happy..... he makes me happy.............but if you dont leave you will die and thats no good, i promise that you'll find a place to be yourself or something i love youuuuu, i love him soooo muchhhh yknow~

Oh look, I can salivate again! Maybe I can EAT something for once....!

Hahahhaha even the trash can died lol

GAAASSSPPP!!!! WHERE IS THIS ALL COFFEE COMING FROM??

ok smartass, do you have a time machine that can comfirm us if that's a racist costume or an accurate portrayal of the real Confucius? eh? concha de tu madreeee.......

i love this kind of jokes sjksjskjksjkjskj

there was also one like that in the columbus ride lolol, it was so unsafe, just like the Ital Park~~ sighhhh♥

lmao i dont know if they're happy that they saved him or that the FUCKING TRAITOR is FUCKING DYING!!! MMMMMMMMMM

but if Christopher is happy then I'm happy ^^

JFRRIET LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

NOOOOOO HE ATE THE OVERPRICED CHURRO!!!

ok this is the last one, it can only mean one thing!

Aww the cheesy line bout destiny and nothing is written in stone and yadda yadda~~ go read afterschool charisma~~

♪CAN WE START, START... OVER♫♫♫ IT'S ALL OVER~~!

Rating: TO BE CONTINUED...?!$@#;)/10!

Topher Bus *sigh siiigh* has appeared on screen... for 51 seconds. A total of 6:15 minutes..........let's go to bed, the fan is turned on.

[benefits1986]

Candied Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

As a donut seeking peace of mind, we fought a good fight yesterday, I guess.

And soooo, my 4th panganay aka pinsang Gen Z cheered as we rode our Grab kahapon. "Bring your daughter to office day" daw ang it's giving ng Thursday niya sa BGC pa. HAHAHAHAHA. Iyak ang funds at medyo bawas ang limit ng landi budget neto. Alam mo na... priorities.

Syempre, ang lala ng palpitations and overthinking ko kasi 'yung behind the scenes neto, mala-kunin ang ID sa matang-lawin manong guard levels na sumbungero sa nanay kong Taurus, ages ago.

This one should be easy, theoretically. Basic. Pero syempre, bumusina naman ako ng mainam sa abot ng kaya ko at nagbigay ng context sa mga kinuukulan kahit 'yung totoong ako e, okay, I won't explain and not give a damn because, I can and I will. Periodtzzz.

Hindi naman ito first time, kasi 'yung kapatid kong naa-anxiety attack ages ago rin, sinama ko sa pitch, sa OB at kasama sa kotse ng tatay ko sa start up. HAHAHHAHA. Pero noon, wala akong pasabi. Dumating na lang ako sa office ng bitbit ko siya. Syempre, gulat AF si itay at pati ang team ko. Sabi ko, hindi ako puwedeng pumili sa dalawa --family ba or work. Wala po tayong generational wealth, generational trauma lang. CHZ. Niloko ako ng frat boy tatay ko na grabe daw grit ko. Ako naman e, parang gipit, gitgit at gigil level 1000 lang talaga kasi bakit ba naman sa dinami-dami ng oras, ngayon pa ako walang choice kung 'di all of the above kasi nga... 'yun na nga.

I remember umupo pa 'yung kapatid ko sa pitch table kasi stable naman siya. Sedated. So parang naging plus points pa kasi dumami 'yung lean pitch team namin. Hay. Baliw talaga me. Yes po. Opo. Keep up.

Syempre, 'yung mga ka-team ko jaw drop szn sila. Sobrang strict kasi and by the book ng tatay namin hataw na hataw. Sabi ko naman, wala e. Sumubok lang ako at nilaban ko naman, since sanay naman akong matalo lagi.

Pinangaralan pa nung tatay ko at nung officemate ko 'yung kapatid ko. HAHAHAHAHA. Shemay. Probably, one of my longest days and nights since love ko nga mag-work, work, work noon sa isang male-dominated set up with my ultra feminine and unapologetic ways of getting ALL things done. Tabi. I told you, I have scarlet sins.

And sooooo, I dragged my palpitating self to the office yesterday. Sabi nung 4th anak ko, iba rin. 'Yung drip ko raw is giving Harajuku Barbie Baby Girl na dark and deadly. ULOL. Sabi ko naman, since 'di pa ako makakapag-Japan soon, practice OOTD muna ako, saka as a batang ina at 13, dapat our looks should be aligned. Fit check pa kami bago umalis. Tinanong pa ako neto kung puwede daw sa office suot ko. Gago talaga. Sabi ko anong mali sa drip ko. Sabi niya, wala. O e 'di, tapos. Sabi ko, puwede naman kaming mag-stay na lang sa house kung naabala siya ng look ko. More importantly, I follow the dress code and my body, my rules gaming lang talaga ako. Wala akong pake kasi I dress depending on how depressive I am. Happy? Mema din talaga 'to e. Pota. Gen Z --ingrown na may nana talaga ano? Hahahaha.

Sailor Mercury x Ravenclaw lang naman peg ko pero plus size. CHZ. Saka delulu vibes kasi inisip ko na lang potential Kawaii comments 'pag nakapag-Japan na ako ng malala with private onsen sa dojo with tea ceremony and traditional dinner while overlooking Mt. Fuji or something more interesting. AYWAW. :D Ganyan na lang talaga ako mag-overthink para hindi ko damdamin masyado 'yung fucking palpitations ko.

7:05 am kami dumating sa office para may runway akong 'di gaya ng NAIA. LOL. Naging smooth naman ang landing because I can and I did. :D Hahahahahahahhaha. Shemay. Ang aga. Hulas na bait-baitan vibes ko kasi Friday na, at weekend naaaaa naman pala.

Sabi ko sa kanya, 'pag may kumausap sa kanya unless kasama ako, sabihin: Sabi ni Bene, siya raw kausapin mo. LOL. 'Di naman daw siya mag-small talk because her social battery is so low, almost empty. Okay. Good.

Actually, puwede ko naman siyang pakawalan sa concrete jungle ng shithole ng Manila, BGC. Kaso, ayoko ng masyadong maraming variables sa constant silent battles niya. Mahirap na. Darating din kami sa part na 'yan mala-guryon style sa tamang panahon.

9:00 AM nasa standing desk na siya and nakapag-breakfast na. Para lang talaga siyang Tamagochi, kaya ang task niya is to take care of my Tamagochi. Hahahahaha. Tinanong kung puwedeng mag-laptop. Sabi ko, anong gagawin mo dito until lunch? Magmumukmok? Syempre, yes. Nu ba. Baka daw gagamitin ko personal laptop ko. Sabi ko, gusto mo, sa'yo 'tong work laptop ko. Ikaw mag-meeting. Tumigil siya. Dami ko pang need itawid kasi Thursday is fully booked day sa calendar ko among other things pa after the meetings.

Gave her a 32 oz flask of iced water to check her progress sa hydration since I think her pimples are not pimples. Stress-induced allergies na. Pinagsabihan ko pa na baka dahil din sa hair color niya because even her scalp is flaking so badly. UGH. Sabi ko magpa-check up na siya kasi lala 'yun dahil she keeps on agitating her face, ears, neck and the works.

I also had to do 1 meeting sa tabi niya para ma-sure ko anong headspace niya today. Feeling niya na naman kasi hassle 'yung pagsama niya sa office. :D Sabi ko, I got this. Tabi. 'Wag maarte. After the meeting, niloko ko sa kung anong feedback niya. Siya: Ay. Ganyan ka pala sa office. Mabait ang voice. Sweet girl. Sabay tawa. Saka inspiring daw ako and always guiding the team. Me: Bayad kasi 'to kaya malambing ako plus walang sunog at bagyo, this is utopia, for now. CHZ. Deep inside, tawang-tawa ako kasi mga kausap ko rin ay mga tulad niyang Gen Z who are growing their muscles na protein-deficient pa sa ngayon. Went to my desk of the day na kasi 'di ko na kayang mag-ipit ng boses at gigil. HAHAHAHAHHA.

'Yung utak ko, nasa pagtungga na lang ng naiwan kong wine. I like wine best when downed right from the bottle. 'Di nakakabitin. JUSQ. Kaya 'pag uwi nito, back to the ball game, baby. Babawi tayo ng malala. Hahahahahaha. 'Yan din reason why I like drinking alone. I don't like counting glasses, goblets and the like. Hassle. Too much fuss and pretentious. O kanal lang talaga ako and I don't care.

So, lunch time. Ayaw daw niya sa mahal since may allowance siya today. HAY. Pota. Hahahaha. Sige, convenience store galore. I can't decide what to eat. Dapat binaon ko na lang 'yung adobo kaso tinatamad akong bumili ng kanin pero, now, naisip ko lang, may kanin naman sa cafeteria namin. Nakatipid pa sana ako.

Ni-inception ko siya na punta siya sa Mitsukoshi after lunch. Tinuro ko 'yung daan na kita sa window ng office namin. Google maps na lang daw niya. Sabi ko, andami niyang alam. Hahahaha.

This Thursday lunch in BGC may be my most memorable one since kahit ilang subo lang ng bacon na ugh and masyadong matamis na macaroni salad, I saw her laugh one too many times. HUHUHUHU. Partida, may malalang palpitations pa ako niyan. BOOGSH. 'Yung lala ng palpitation, parang mapapa-clinic na ako levels TBH. Pero, sige... itatawid natin. Let's fucking light myself up like Ember. :D

Mahirap magpatawa ang mang-barda since I figured out she is one of my triggers. Lahat na lang, trigger ng sugatan, luhaan, 'di mapakinabangang nilalang. Off the roof po ang ating impostor syndrome na need ko pang check ang spelling rn.

Her effortless laughs and wicked comebacks over lunch naman are my glimmers. OPAK. 'Di ko kinaya 'yun. Alam mo 'yung nakikita kong she does not have social awkwardness, big win sa akin 'yun. Daig pa KPI kong 'di umaayaw. Kasi, 'pag napapatawa mo ng malala ang isang taong may mental health right after the spiral tapos mas malinaw na isip at intention niya, that is... magic.

Mga tanong at comeback pa neto e ang tinde. POTA. Palibhasa June moonchild. TACCA. Ilang beses ba namang tinanong kung sure ba akong ayaw kong magka-anak and family. Sabi ko niraspa ko na DIY mga egg cells and fallopian tubes ko para super duper safe na ang lahat kahit anong mangyari. Saka, I feel like, I can't afford to have another me. Sa kanya pa nga lang, suko na ako e. Paano pa 'pag 'yung sa sinapupunan ko na mismo galing? Anong kababalaghan at kashitan ang bitbit niya sa mundong ibabaw tapos true kasi talaga na, may mga ugali at quirks na manggaling sa sperm donor aka ama ng theoretical bata. E paano na 'yun? Hindi ko gustong alamin. Let's not go there, Satan.

Nung nasa Mitsukoshi na kami since clingy shitballs din 'to saka natuwa siya na in the zone siya sa office for her commissioned works na in fairness, 30K per pop, aba akala mo naman nakawala sa koral. Sabi ko sipat siya ng bet niya since parang maraming anime sadbois (LOLLOLL) naman sa mall kagabi. Sinulimpatan ba naman ako ng mata? Shet. SOOO ME. Sarap ingudngod. In fairness, tinanong ko saan napunta ang hustle funds niya, she plows it back to her biz PLUS syempre her manga obsession.

Dami niyang tili sa Fullybooked e. Tapos iyak na naman funds ko. Hahahaha. 'Yung gusto kong postcard ng Ghibli, from soft pass, naging hard pass. Tapos pinaka bet niya 12K na Bleach boxed set. 'Yan ang dahilan na isa pa why ayokong mag-anak. POTA. Paano na Shein finds 'pag stressed out ako? Mga 3 weeks from now na lang ulit siguro among other things.

Sabi ko, bilhin na niya 'yung 2 books niya after 3 hours of waiting na almost nakatulog na ako sa seat outside the bookstore. TACCA. Ayaw-ayaw pa. Papilit pa. Pero kilig level 10000000 nung inabot sa kanya 'yung haul niya.

Kumain din kami ng hindi mura and hindi masarap na dinner dahil gusto daw niya ma-try ang food court. Sabi ko naman, okay lang kasi 'pag nag-Japan na siya, wala na. Finished na. 'Yung food court kasi ng mall na 'to, parang Starmall Alabang levels. HAHAHHAHA. Wala akong pake kung 35M 'yung presell ng condo kakabit neto. Wala.

I remember nung nialok ako ng condo dito, sabi ko talaga na I have my tiny house na po plus I don't have funds. Thank you. Sinabi nung taga-benta na, okay lang daw basta kunin ko 'yung flyers and leave contact details. JUSQ, mhie. Condo fucking living. So much hassle pero I do get why it works naman lalo for those who can afford it at gusto ng own world nila. Gets ko. Easyhan ko na. Eto na.

Pagod na pagod ako, pero kanina woke up at 4:10 AM this yaya-mayordoma. LOL. Palowbatt na laptop ko, so, let's slay Friday, Saturday and Sinday. Sunday pala. CHZZZ. PS: BL vibes na lang din ang naging baon ko para sa Huwebes. So, share ko na rin dito and nakahanap na rin ako ng BL babies sa team. It's giving... :D Armiiiiiiiiii!!!! Wagas kang tunay. HUHUHUHUHUHUHU. PS: More and more and more hustle and work, work, work, kasi in a parallel universe, gusto ko na bitbitin 'tong 4th anak ko sa Japan tapos alam na ang mga paganaps. Darating din ako diyan. For now, sabakan na duguan muna. Nag-message pa after ng call: ...Don't let it eat you up. Keep me updated. May emojis pa. Yes, emojis. Thank God for my people, my tribe. Thank you, universe.

[reflectionsfromthemirror]

thoughts on dancing

in ways , dancing feels like one of the most insane things we can do in today’s society, and that is why it feels so good to do . there’s not enough room for that kind of free and authentic and untethered movement in daily life, our bodies have become robotic, following rules and standards set by someone else for reasons that are completely meaningless ... the way we walk, the way we embrace, it is all so structured. we are constantly forcing our bodies into movements and rhythms and postures determined by societal programming, and we don’t even realize it because we are so deeply programmed. dancing gives me an opportunity to let my body be as truly strange as it wants to be , it lets me actually fill every cell of my body with my authentic freak energy .... and the feeling of god, the feeling of heaven that comes with dancing is unparalleled. it feels soooo fucking good hahahhaha

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

[come-on-just-shut-up]

You are soooo fucking hot damn 🔥😇

Hahahhaha thanks 😅😅😅

[laurenbanasik]

A wholesome meme, and I changed my lockscreen to a desert because my phone is DRYYYYY AS FUCKKKKING HELLLLLL. I rarely get contact from those I love because they’re far away and I’m p sure they have a secret group chat without me in it to make things easier without having to worry about inviting me since I live so far away and don’t want to burden me with not being able to spontaneously hang (which breaks my fucking heart but oh well 🙃) and if I’m wrong I suppose my extreme social paranoia has WON YET AGAIN OOOOPPPPSS. Well I’m emotionally overwhelmed and drunk so here’s another rant on how my life sucks and how I have such an issue telling other people about it because, due to years and years of emotional neglect, I have an INCREDIBLE INABILITY to confide in others healthily HAHAHHAHA. S/o to anyone who deems me a valid human being and god forbid chooses me for a friend.

Anywho, I’ve FINALLY realized why I fucking HATE to see my only friends hangout without me. MAYBE. JJJJUUSTT MAYBE, it has to do with the fact that the last time I saw my old high school friends (the 3 I held closest to my heart and confided everything in) hanging out without me on social media was also the same day they yote me out of their lives forever... More detail? I thought you’d never ask!! How kind of you to care about my innermost traumas and allow me to express myself, seeing as I’m an incredibly open book about my sorrows. Having anyone listen to them and make me feel like a person worthy of love and care despite my many faults is something that NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS to me anymore due to me not opening up, not having the emotional availability to, or I’m just SO SO SICK OF BURDENING MY LOVED ONES WITH THE SAME SAD SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT IVE JUST SWALLOWED MY INNERMOST DEMONS TO AVOID FURTHER CONTAMINATION OF MY LIFES ONLY LIGHT AKA MY FRINDS WHO THINK IM FIIIINNNEEE. FUN FACT IM FUCKING NOOOTTTT !!!!

Anyways, it was the tail end of my senior year in high school and my 3 closest and bestest friends in the whole wide world.... posted on Snapchat that they’d met up, without me, and were doing some bs cutsey bff forever Pinterest bullshit. I asked why I wasn’t there , and they proceeded to mock me via social media and kindly let me know I was no longer their friend by dancing to the hook of “I don’t Fuck With You”. Visciously @-ing meover snapchat. I cried. And cried. And fuck it had an AWFUL panic attack because I had ABSOLUTELY NO GODDAMN Clue what was happening. I was Confused. Hurt. Lost. AND I had no idea what I did wrong. (I later learned it was because someone said that someone said that I Apparently said something mean about them. It wasn’t true but, hey, it’s probably because I’m SUCH a horrible friend, and SUCH a cunt that it was apparently SOOOO believeable that IT completely negated anything I could’ve said in my defense. Adding to my extreme social paranoia I hold near and dear to me to this day, that’s often exploited in most social interactions I have which has made me an almost total recluse! THANKS ABBIE, KOURTNEY, AND BRIDGETTE! FUCK IT ADD JESSICA AND KASEY IN THERE TOO ECWN THOUGH THEYD NEVER CALL ME THEIR FRIEND IN ANY HEALTHY CIRCUMSTANCE HAHA ! YAYYYY TORMENTORS !!!) .....

And that was the last I ever really had contact with them. My only friends throughout some of the most pivotal years of my life. One I talked out of suicide and self harm, another I assisted with confidence and general love and support, and I tried to be there for the third as best I could, but she was a typical badass so I just enjoyed her company. My high school friends. I gutted them out of my heart as best I could. Forgot all of the AMAZING times we’ve had. A great portion of my memories in high school were tossed out along with their presence in my life to make the pain go away. A huge part of me died that day ... and nobody knew about it.

So, now, whenever I’m excluded I’m immediately put back into that void of confusion. What did I do wrong ? Did I hurt them? Why am I not there ? Do they think that little of me? Do they know how much I love them? Do I care for them more than they do for me? Is this a healthy friendship? Do they really think I’d rather be anywhere than with them? Should I just cut them out of my heart now to be ready for eventual betrayal ? Do I cut them out of my soul despite how much I’ll bleed? Haha , Yeah. I know.... it’s tucked up and Toxic as all hell. But, I can’t even begin to imagine a conversation with anyone about their attempt to help me with THAT problem. Or any other problems resulting from that. And, a couple days ago... id met up with a friend I’ve had since middle school. Someone who I loved my life side by side with until college. Someone Who saw that entire exchange, and who is still friends with those who (knowingly/unknowingly) tormented me to the point of breaking all through high school in the most demented,confusing, and underhanded ways you can imagine. I told that story to her, because she never knew how me and my 3 friends drifted so far away from each other. She had JUST heard about ALL of that for the FIRST time in nearly 4 years. And she believed me.... The whole situation of my downfall as a respected senior at Euclid High School. A girl who I’ve shared more than half my life with at the time ... and it was invisible to her. Wild.

I have broken apart an old piece of myself. Analyzed every detail, despite how much each part made me bleed. These old shard rip open old scars. It’s nothing new. I’ve been living in confused, isolated pain for YEARS. You really think this will break me? .... I mean I’m already very much broken. I mean, look at me, I’m venting on tumblr 🙃😒🙄. I just keep making shifty shelters out of the broken pieces of myself, just waiting for the next wolf to blow me down. I may be living in fear and paranoia, but I’m still standing....... aren’t I ?

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[jiminspiration]

smtm6 ep 7 thoughts

why u would make my bias teams go against each other wHY

wonjae smiling??? AN ANGEL

i legit got up from my seat once wonjae started rapping and if that doesn’t show u how much i love him then idk what does i dont do this for just anybody

gaeko and choiza who? i only know woochan and nucksal the TRU dynAMIC dUo

O MF G IS THAT ATO IN THE AUDIENCE??? OR AM I JUST SEEING THINGS

hanhawt in white should be illegal

why is killa rapping in subway? wHY someone stahp him pls

cries in da club when i remember olltii got eliminated

me even tho we’re already at the diss round: soooo smtm what about that revival round eh?

YOUNG B? HE B SO YOUNG AND FINE he needa stop

Junoflo: “dA dIsrEsPeCt” HAHAHHAHA

woodie gochild be DA GOLDEN CHILD cus his rap/perf was gold

junoflo is all of us when he called dean x zico ‘dico’

it should be fucking illegal for dean to be so fucking cute hOT dAMn

team dico’s perf was gr888 and fun. 10/10 recommend

cries in da club again b/c hanhawt was facetiming his mom

excuse mE hanhawt sir but ima need u to get off the stage and chill for like 2 secs pls cus u can’t be looking that fine i’m soRRY

team dynAmic dUO’s perf was also really fucking fun like holy shiet it wa so classy and elegant like ???? team dd is really going hard hOT dAmn

me by the end of this ep: *secretly hopes team dd wins so we can see more of nucksal and hanhawt as woochan’s dads*

[eternal-calypso]

Hahahhaha what the fuck is this bullshit i can't stop talking i love it, doesn't matter if it's small and personal subjects or big and non-personal there is no shutting me up

I'm so glad no one has gotten upset (yet), they all agree but it's a bit boring 'cause i don't get much feedback and new ideas to play around with

I feel an urge to get slapped with truths and good opinions

Slap me with personal criticism

Also

Slap me physically, i'm not much in my body and can't feel bodily emotions as well as before.

Emotions: Body's reaction to stimuli. Ex anger.

Feelings: After we process emotions, memories and experiences. Ex hate.

Being an always logical thinking individual subconciously distances yourself from your emotions since having the opinion that emotions are illogical and/or irrational and/or not useful to solve problems with, they no longer make themselves known, you become numb to your body because your psyche, body and bodily emotions don't wanna cooperate, or have vague connections, therefore things that strongly affect the body bring great and intense satisfaction and pain is one of them making it a great combo with endorphins. Also being a highly thinking individual makes you identify yourself more with your brain, the "you" as in "i am" is now located in your head. I remember being a very sensitive, emotional person and locating the "i am" in my body, pointing at my heart or soul while also feeling myself in my stomach? (((Now that this weird bullshittery is happening i no longer feel myself in my body, i feel that i'm more in my head???))) I remember i was so in touch with my emotions that whatever affected my body, even the smallest touch made my feelings sky rocket, which unfortunately most of them were negative, making my psyche take in that info messing with my thinking. Not only that but reappearing, similar experiences firstly go directly into your thinking and my thinking is ofcourse connected to my feelings, connected to my negative feelings, connected to my core emotions, connected to my bodily emotions, connected to my body.. Ye, i hurt physically and mentally almost all the time. A vicious, painful cycle. Though all this mess was going on, i still knew and could feel the emotions i should be feeling, and knew how i should be thinking about the subject.. I just didn't know how to break free from the negative ones that made themselves feel so powerful.

Also, maybe, i felt positive feelings/emotions so vaguely before that i somehow held on to painful feelings and sadness just so that i could feel the contrast and value my positive ones..??.... Much more to it but definitely a part of it.

BUT/AND

I no longer feel negative feelings since i've learned to break them down to pure, core emotions everytime as much as needed. Most of the emotions in the spectrum are positive but that does not mean anger and sadness (maybe some more emotions) are negative. There are no negative emotions. Only negative feelings. I think that when i started to heal from my negative feelings i also stopped feeling the contrast from my positive emotions making everything that i feel right now pretty neutral but in a comforting and content way with a pinch of melancholia? As i explained above in the beginning nonstop thinking is also a big part of not feeling much emotions so there is that too. So feelings and positive emotions don't play much in my body which makes my already numb body send weak connections to my psyche, not being able to feel strong emotions or feel them to its fullest. I feel joy, but i think is just as vague as before, only difference is there are no negative feelings attached and my body and psyche are just learning how to handle them and expressing them in a correct way but being difficult for not being in touch with my body.. This is a failfailfail situation, i need to get myself back down to my emotions and the only way to do that is by stop thinking and only start feeling and then try to balance it out. Now that i'm much better i shouldn't suffer so much from being an emotional person.. It seems that knowing how an emotional wreck of a humans thinking looks like, has helped my wreck of a logical ass to understand and see a lot of perspective about A LOT of things, and vice versa, while also helping the people around me break vicious cycles.. Looks like i will not be shutting up anytime soon.

AH

The bodily emotions seem to have bodily negative feelings because my body CAN STILL react badly to a certain kind of stimuli, i've broken it down as much as possible and nothing else affects me, it's only this one reaction. To heal from negative bodily reactions it seems that you have to overwrite the old memories with new positive ones with similar stimuli in small steps.

But yeah ugh have i ever taken small steps to change anything in my life?

No.

It's either 0 or 100 soooo once again

SLAP ME OR SPANK ME I PROMISE IT'S OKAY I LOVE IT IM 90% HEALED

SLAP THE BAD OUT OF ME

[clubeskimo]

!!! Lawn chairs!! I agree, the acts were great. They sounded great and their interactions were cute as hell. But like you, all I saw was heads for 90% of the time, with glimpses of each performer whenever ppl would move. At one point I couldn't breathe bc ppl were squeezing together so much, like take a step back please??? I feel so embarrassed for the artists, we should have had the concert at enmore, at least there's proper seating and the stage is elevated. skldfjslkf

Omg hahahhaha forreal same!! It was soooo nice for this girl in front of me to let me stand in front of her because she was quite tall ahh bless that girl though it made no difference because there were so many tall people in front of me ahaha. I know omg the moment i walked in i was just thinking about how fucking ridicolous the entire layout looked, it was so cheap looking.. i just…. they could have done it at enmore or metro theatre. Like why couldn’t they downgrade the venue if they knew it wasn’t going to fill up 😒 You can get more outta the club bounce events than whatever the fuck this is lol… Heads up to my fellow aussie friends that nafla/loopy/owen will be coming in december so lol watch it be better than rapbeat. Also i believe changmo is coming too!