#they either dont hear me or they're just ignoring me and think im throwing a tantrum

[finalhaunts]

Full fucking offense but iam genuinely considering offing myself lmao i want to tear the fucking skin off of my face so bad its not even funny

[woofwoofwolf]

Go home, Hobie Brown pt. 2

Hobie Brown x reader

Part 1:

Notes: Alt and aro ace reader (although that’s less relevant here), fluff-ish, reader remains GN but might have a writing bias towards fem, Hobie does some illegal shit, Hobie and reader are adults, use of (y/n), no phonetic spelling of Hobie’s accent, brit written by a European sue me, he’s probably a bit OOC in this one,

“Why does reader work at a factory and not, say, a pub? That’s a little weird isn’t it?” it’s bc I work at a factory and this is once again ✨wish fulfillment✨

So this initially was something else, but I realized that it was similar in structure to my previous work and that if I reworked it a little bit, it would be a nice addition to that. Is this a series now? I fucking hope not, I have a bad track record finishing those. Loosely connected two shot for now. I might come back tonight to tweak some stuff, but I think it is in a readable state lol

Pls dont repost anywhere thx ✨️

You tried your best to ignore him. An half hearted attempt to deprive him of the reaction he wanted while you continued to flatten out your stack of cardboard boxes, throwing them into the container next to you. Hobie was standing right in front of you, not having said anything to you since he arrived. He stood far enough away from you for it to appear casual and incidental, but close enough for him to still tower over you.

Finally, his patience caved. “…hey,” he said.

“Hey, Hobie,” your tone was cool. You didn't feel as embarrassed now that there were no people around, right outside of the small factory you worked at.

“What are you doing?”

You peered up at him with a smirk on your face. “I need to throw out these boxes. You know, for my job? My job that I have at this factory that we’re currently at. That you jumped a fence over to get to just now.” You gestured towards the fence right in front of you.

“Ey no way,” Hobie laughed as if he hadn't known all along. “You think they got cameras?”

You shrugged, all the while continuing your work. “We have a front door. You could’ve just talked to the lady at the front desk. She might have let you through, you know?”

“Nah, didn't like the look of her.”

"She probably wouldn't have liked the look of you either to be fair," you laughed. Technically, she'd be right, Hobie was trespassing. But she was a sour tart anyways, so you understood Hobie’s comment.

"What's wrong with those boxes anyways?" He pointed. "They look brand new."

You had noticed that he had been antsy about that. He probably didn't like you throwing out boxes that were still more than usable. It wasn’t something you agreed with either, but it wasn’t up to you.

"Dunno." You answered. "I don't think theres anything wrong with them perse. They probably prepared more than they needed."

"That's IT?! What a bloody waste," He gave the container a kick after his outburst. "Why are you contributing to this,"

"Boss's orders" you gave him a cheeky salute.

"I'm disappointed in you," You choked back a laugh.

"I knew you would be. I'm part of the machine, Hobart," You stuck out your hands and did a mock robot walk. “they’re coming to get you, Hobart-” 

Hobie pushed your arms back to your sides. His hands lingered there longer than your heart could handle "That stupid uniform too... They're stripping you of all the important bits."

"Well.” You said, hoping to go back to a lighter tone. “If you know of an anarchist version of this part-time job where I can come and go when I want, where I barely have to speak to people and where I make this much money, doing the workload equivalent of Homer Simpsons job, then let me know." It was true, this was the easiest part time you've ever had. "If you look at it like that, I'm practically stealing from the boss, don't you think?"

"I know of a job like that." He said, playing along. "It's called 'dating me'. heard It's got real good benefits too. "

"Ohhh does that include the part that I dont have to talk to my boss?" Hobie’s big dumb smirk dropped to an amused smile.

"No, I'd prefer if you kept doing that to be honest."

You couldn't hold it in and you awkwardly laughed alongside him.

"Can I have them?" He asked out of the blue.

"Pardon?"

"The boxes.”

"What do you need cardboard boxes for?" You put the box you had picked up back on the pile. "Don't become a hoarder, Hobie, I'll stop visiting you guys."

"Not me," he picked up one of the boxes to inspect. "For Gwendy. These are the exact size she uses to ship her clothes in when she sells them online."

You looked at him with narrowed eyes. If he took the few remaining boxes, you could finish up and go back inside, which was tempting.

Before you could answer him, the door to the building opened.

"Hey (y/n)," your manager said. "I came to check on you. Who's this..?" She frowned at Hobie, who was obviously not supposed to be there. Hobie looked troubled, even though he liked testing the boundaries he didn't want to get you fired over something like this. Which is honestly something he should have thought of before coming over, but what can you do.

"Actually," you said in the most somber tone you could muster. You placed your hand on Hobie’s arm in a comforting gesture. "Hobie just told me his grandma passed away this morning." You felt him stiffen up, his emotions shifting from confused to amused to acting out sadness in a split second.

Hobie, of course, didn't have a grandma in his life.

"Oh..." your manager said, you knew how empathetic she was. "I'm so sorry to hear that."

“I’m sorry ma’m.. I know I’m not supposed to be here, but,“ He let out a very fake sob and you suppressed the desire to roll your eyes. “I just know how close (y/n) was to my nan... I’ll be going now...“

Before he went though, he turned around and grabbed an entire armful of cardboard boxes. Leaving your manager stunned. Hobie walked towards the fence gate.

“You perhaps got a key for this gate? Ah, you do? Thank you I’ll be leaving now, Cheers.“

Your manager looked at you when he left. “Ah well. Nan would have hated for those boxes to go to waste.”

---------

Alright wow, I'm being so productive with fics at the moment this is kind of crazy.

I hope he isn't TOO out of character? I think it's really hard to get his speech pattern right. And then I don't just mean his accent, but how that interacts with his cheeky and confident way of talking. But my biggest pet peeves in fics of his at the moment are a) phonetic spelling of his accent and b) people who write fake and cringey British slang. (He doesn't constantly speak in cockney rhyme in the movie ppl lol) Bonus point if both are true, haha... I've lived in England, but honestly, getting it right is difficult, and I still feel like I'm having him say american phrases 😭

[anadrenalineslut]

like okay im thinking about how the whole title track sounds very much like she's trying so hard to make the situation sound romantic when the lyrics are objectively what the fuck and how thats probably the point of the song because like the more i really read the lyrics, the more im like these lyrics sound very similar to those in so high school to me.

like i said previously that so high school doesnt work for me as a love song because the lyrics are so un-romantic and what the fuck and I'm thinking ttpd falls under the same category of love songs trying really hard to be love songs but the reality of the situation is so bleak.

for example, ttpd talks about her lover "self sabatoging" and "throwing spikes down on the road" and the "romantic thing" they did together was smoke weed and eat lots of chocolate in bed. The most "romantic" thing he does is at dinner when he takes her ring off her middle finger and put it on her fourth finger, which SHE interprets as "the one people put wedding rings on" because SHE wants to get married and will read into things that arent meant to be read into to justify the "cyclone" of a ride she chose to be on. in other words, she justifies her behavior by saying that it's true love and they're destined to end up married together.

i keep thinking about that HORRIFIC fucking quote from the folklore documentary where taylor admits as much when she says that "betty and james" end up together in her end but "he really puts her through it." anyways moving on before i yak.

the whole title track is the most unromantic, least sexy set of situations you can think of and the cringey lyricism of it all plays into the art of it all because she did it all on purpose to convey her delusional behavior and thinking patterns last year after the break up with joe. the whole song reads as delusional because she wasn't thinking straight after the break up and she wanted to get that point across here i think.

but also like so high school is equally as cringey and unsexy and unromantic as you can fucking get. im sorry but if you're older than 25 and still think american pie is a good movie, you're cringey. if you think having sex around people who dont know thats what you're doing is cool and sexy, you're cringey. like idk the whole song just doesnt feel romantic to me. who actually wants to feel sixteen again ? i was suicidal back then so im biased af but i feel like adulthood is so much better than teenagehood.

its so fucking cringey to want to stay young forever. its so fucking cringey to want to not age and be stuck in a high school mentality. like idk when i hear the song, im just not feeling romantic at all the same way i do not feel romantic at all listening to the title track either. both of these songs to me are similar in nature. cringey af lyrics written to try and back the best out of bleak options because the person who is making these choices just wants to be married already and doesnt care who gets her to the aisle at this point.

like i feel like there is such a desperation in ttpd to be settled down and married and im like.... why? what is the rush? why are you acting like its the end of the world if you're not married by 35? its why the prophecy is a skip for me because its just like... i dont relate to that level of desperation at all.

have i wanted to be loved? yes.

have i been rejected and down bad crying at the gym before? yes.

have i gotten into a serious depressive episode because of a relationship break up before? yes.

but have i ever been so desperate to lower my standards in what i find acceptable in a relationship? no.

i cannot relate to dating people i do not actually like because i want to get married and be married in the eyes of other people so badly im willing to entertain anything at this point.

like i understand ignoring small red flags that could go either way in the beginning of a relationship but i could never seriously commit to changing my entire personality to be in a relationship with someone.

there are also some things i just could never fucking accept in a relationship and treating me like im not high on your list of priorities is one of them. i also am not the type to "send signals" by "biting my nails down to the quick" either in a relationship. i will make my opinion and argument known for why you should not treat me x y z and you still do, i will leave. i will leave so fucking fast and i will not spend 3 years cultivating a side piece relationship to escape into either. i will just leave.

and i feel like taylor has exposed a deep critical truth about herself and her mentality to love that feels very like young to me... i remember thinking this way when i was a child but by 17 i had really outgrown that idea of romance and love already and was developing the 1989 approach to love which i think is another important thing to consider in the ttpd conversation.

because 1989 has assumedly over 100 songs written on it and we got just over 20 of them for taylor's version. that means there is 4/5 of the 1989 era in the vault that we will never hear. and ttpd is 2 hours worth of music written in about 6-10 months so its safe to assume that ttpd era is mostly not in the vault (maybe 1/5 in the vault).

and 1989 is like the life of the bolter character in blank space and i just always assumed taylor and the bolter were one and the same during 1989 era. but even just the 5 songs we got off the vault are so much like ttpd to me that i feel like the real character of 1989 is more like ttpd where the bolter is 1 song out of 31, most of which directly contrast the narrative told in the bolter.

and i feel like 1989 is more an album of taylor's idealized version of herself and ttpd is who she really is to present that image of herself to the world. and the insides of it are so very human but kind of ugly and worthy of ridicule. ttpd is the expansion of dear reader where she warns you of what is to come and how she is going to show you the reality behind "the home thats really a house" because nobody is there waiting for her due to actions she takes to self-sabatoge at every opportunity.

she is so caught up in what people say about her that she spent 3 out of 6 years of her public "end game" relationship fantasizing about how to end up with a past toxic fling from her roaring 20s. she is gatsby looking back at the green light of the 1989 era and wanting to be that "happy" again. so she burns it all down and she's left with songs like ttpd and so high school to sing about because she is a feather taken by the wind blowing.

anyways this is a huge fucking ramble sorry yall if u made it down here congrats holy shit 💓

[beesmygod]

I want to finish bloodborne so badly because the lore is super interesting, but I'm pathetically bad at video games and after about 20 hours of play time I still couldn't beat the priest. Do you have any lets players you'd recommend watching

it might be hard to get a good playthrough of bloodborne because they're either inevitably going to miss something important or they're the most annoying people in the universe. there's a youtuber i follow named "john wolfe" who typically plays very low budget indie horror games who did a blind run of bloodborne i found REALLY enjoyable. but that was bc i am an old fan watching the new ones get pulled in going "yes....yes!!!"

as for gascoigne, dont feel bad or stressed for not beating him yet. here's some tips to try again with him:

an entirely possible problem is that you might be leveling up the wrong skills for a new player. for your first playthrough, ignore arcane and bloodtinge until you find your first item that has an arcane level minimum to use. they're not necessary items, just fun tools to add to fighting, so i would avoid that for now. bloodtinge allegedly improves your gun damage (and SOME weapons late game/dlc) but unless you're making a special bloodtinge build, you can largely avoid it and power it up using bloodgems (found later). STR and SKL govern your ability to use different kinds of weapons, but both made you deal more damage to enemies. vitality is a VERY good thing for a new player to pump points into. no shame in that. endurance is always, always a good thing to upgrade too if you aren't sure.

gascoigne is the first true stop gap for almost everyone who plays the game. it took me multiple days and restarting the entire game over like 3 times before it clicked: the game is forcing you to learn how to parry. and thank god because it's a vital skill in this game. you will have to play the bloodborne rhythm game: time your shots when their weapon is right about to swing down on you. the best ones are the ones where he jumps at you with the axe over his head, very easy to hit. when you hear the parry sound jump forward and get that visceral attack! visceral attacks will also help refill your health bar.

take advantage of the "rally" mechanic: the one where when you get hit, you can gain HP back. if he bops you, get back on your feet and move TOWARD him and beat his ass to get some of it back so you dont waste a vial. BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE!

you can get 2 hits in. i know you think you can get 3. but you can't. i think i can get 3 every time. i can't. hit him twice and then move in a direction there isn't a gravestone

you can jump INTO some of his attacks if your timing is right. i find when he does the spin wind-up im able to leap into it after his first turn.

and now for the ultimate secret: save all your molotovs for this battle. when he starts going beast mode RUN and get as much distance between you and him (but try not to cut off your access to the stairs on the right since you can kinda loop that by jumping onto the roof where the dead wife is). throw molotovs at him while crying and screaming and running. 2-3 should do the trick. BUT HE IS FAST AND JUMPS HIGH SO WATCH OUT

good luck anon. and remember for the next boss, in the words of beyonce: TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT

[steveandbucky]

sorry but the way people talk about the what are you catholic which is hilarious yes but in the clickbaity sense Religious Trauma Isn't Just About Sex!

in the way my family will talk about food and work ethic like being lazy? the Sloth crime? as if we have evolved to work the 40-hour work week which leaves you with the choice of 1. socialise 2. take care of basic needs and 3. sleep. u can only choose 1 or 2. u will always choose wrong. u will always be either unhappy or unhealthy. WE ARE MEANT TO LAY AROUND WARMING ON A ROCK UNDER THE SUN! what's with calling me lazy bc ignoring the special brain syndrome™ of perpetual boredom. i don't wanna be on the move all the time wtf. and if im not on the move enough that's also bad!!!!!!

❗❗❗cw EATING/FOOD/DIETS/ED ❗❗❗

the way WE'RE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THE FOOD WE EAT. eating food gives you dopamine. you needed the dopamine to feed yourself to survive. this is evolution 101. and then i hear shit like living to eat (instead of eating to live) and they're not talking about the Binge eating (or otherwise overeating ED) it's literally making a meal because it's delicious and being happy to eat the delicious meal. apparently that's only ok for a quarterly family gathering feast. what the fuck kind of ass backwards logic.

the other thing I've been thinking about like jealousy and adultery and lust that are. all. directly. contributing. to the way we're living by the Strict Society Rules and it's not just homophobia but the way that those rejected for not fitting in within the cishet norm went and said why we doing the nuclear family monogamy shit anyway bc you cant tell me it wasn't born out of the inherently isolating experience of trying to be queer in peace when it means risking your life and wellbeing. so what is the Controversial queerplatonic/polyam/non-monogamous but the very basic human need of community, belonging, love, while giving yourselves the opportunity to take care of the other basic human needs of food, physical safety, shelter, sex, and play, all animal instincts yes, and conversation, physical affection, free spirituality, opportunity to create, emotional safety.

yeah. i said that. in one of many rambly unfinisheed posts in my drafts,

what. its like there are rules for human beings that were not created by a human being. im sure im onto smth here 👀🤭

and when i started writing the sentence i wasn’t thinking of religion it was freestyling in the confession booth type of thing, but by the end im like. huh. okay. that makes sense.

and not to be all charlie kelly pepe silva about it, but.

jokes aside its not the “god from the heavens” or whatever but the ‘weaponising religion to control the masses’ bc what do you get from this other than the “man and woman marry and have 10 children and then they all work on the fields all day and eat the bare essentials to survive and taxman gets rich”

idk about region-specific history so no one @ me about the medieval peasant myth or whatever!!!! im throwing darts with my eyes closed and wrapping glittery yarn between the landing points until things kinda make sense!!! im yelling into the void i dont need APA references