#they gave me fentanyl because i cried at my esi today because the pain was that bad. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trauma-trove · 6 months

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I hate that I'm held at social gunpoint to never EVER be anything but picture perfect niceness while doctors and nurses bully me and treat me like shit. It drives me insane. I tried being transparent with my last nurse about how my dietary problems, thyroid probpems, and chronic pain treatment was really going to interfere with a procedure and that I wanted to schedule it AFTER my other appointments and procedures. She told me "well, I can't do anything about that. The doctor wants it done." I tore the instructions she gave me right in front of her. They were salvageable. I could tape them together. But she looked at me like I called her a fucking slur.

"Oh but think of the doctor/nurse/receptionist you're doing that to! Every time a patient loses it, more medical practitioners leave the field!"

Don't.

Care.

You're DOING this TO ME. I have the right of being the victim here. If someone is pushed and forced and coerced and bullied and assaulted enough times, they have a right to treat their offenders like shit.

I'm fucking sick of it.

#medical tw #tw medical abuse #vent #now im curled up on my bed in tears because THEYRE NOTHING IM ALLOWED TO EAT!!!#i cant use ANY of my pain meds and im in so much pain from my esi #and as usual the list of okay foods they gave me is reduced even more by my usual restrictions.#ive been having a migraine all day because i had to fast for my sedation. and now i dont even get to medicate for that once before #having to hold off for four more fucking days so i can fast and be sedated AGAIN.#they gave me fentanyl because i cried at my esi today because the pain was that bad.#and now i just have to sit here. and hork down slimey lunch meat and frozen fries so i dont fucking starve.#and my period started again after only 10 days because of the thyroid stuff.#and my gp is REFUSING to do ANYTHING for my thyroid at all and my psychosis is bad and i feel like shit all the time #i took 1 month off no appointments or anything and it didnt fix anything because i STILL am FORCED to do unnecessary and GRUELING shit #all so closed together with no recovery time because that stupid nurse does not fucking care about me. she doesnt.#so when i call her after the fact and chew her out and tell her to cancel all my appointments and that im going elsewhere.#its what she gets.

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