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yuyuntianyu · 3 years

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[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

#2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #chu wanning #mo ran #mo weiyu #ranwan #taxian jun #chu fei #erha #husky is dumb but husky tried his best

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book-o-scams · 3 years

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Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

#ed edd n eddy #series bible #aka cartoon inc #aka cartoon #discovery #eene news

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shasta-reese · 2 years

Text

Finale Part 2 (6x20)

Alright, continuing the 2-hour finale. I wanted to do one post for the whole finale but the 6x19 commentary was already too long so here we are if anyone actually reads my long rants in their entirety I applaud you and thank you. So for real this time, one last ride:

- Welp Lillian is officially dead. It's a sad death like she's obvs a bad guy cuz like she did attempt to commit alien genocide a few times but I also never wanted her to die. Maybe I'm just too attached to Brenda Strong but I also just didn't want Lena to lose another parent no matter how terrible they were. I would've liked her end to be like in season 3 (I think, or was it S4 idk), in jail for life but Lena still went to visit her and play chess.

- Lillian's death to me is marginally better than Shadow Weaver's death (if ya'll watched She-ra) cuz Shadow Weaver never loved anything/anyone and till her last breath she never apologized for the shit she did. But Lillian in the end just wanted the best for her children and recognises that Lena can hate her if she wants for all the shit that she put Lena through her entire life. So yeah I rather she not die but I'm not overly pressed over her arc ending in death.

- Kelly may not have many lines but the few times she speaks she reminds me that she's a licensed therapist yet somehow never asked any of them to go to therapy, especially Kara and Lena. I'm joking but not really

- The hope speech was good but I don't know why but some of the wording of it just sounds weird to me. But I can't put my finger on it.

- How can Lex and Nyxly literally be fighting each other to the death one second then just turn and fight together? To an extent I get it Superfriends are their common enemy but still

- The final battle is interesting how they paired who fought who. It is a little odd to me that Nyxly in 6A was Kara's villain in a way but when it came to the rest of the season she became more of Nia's villain instead. Which is fine but just something I find a bit peculiar, and somehow Lex has become Kara's villain when we all know his obsession is actually with Superman (kryptonians as a whole I guess). I just don't like that Lex has been used for so long as a Supergirl villain when he's Superman's. but that's just a personal preference

- Also liked that James assisted Kelly rather than "saving" her, compared to Mon-el saving Kara with Lex. I know I'm probably reading into too much of this but for a show that's supposed to empower women it just doesn't sit right that Supergirl (the title character) has a man (who's she had not the best relationship with) come in and "save" her in the series finale during what's supposed to be the big final fight.

- I am going to ignore the fact that Eliza came outta fucking nowhere and just appreciate that we got Mama Danvers being badass with a shotgun. And the reference to Helen Slater playing Supergirl in the past, ngl made me chuckle

- I appreciate the sentiment of Mitch switching sides but he literally also did nothing to help them

- Kinda weird that in the wide shot with all the heroes Lena and Andrea are not in frame, like you could even see Eliza at the back but Lena isn't? Odd choice but okay

- And here we have the most anticlimactic final battle I've ever seen, just such a cop out ending tbh. I hated that's how they ended Nyxly's arc especially. They spent all season building Nyxly's character, everything she's been through and that's the best they came up with? Nyxly was already in the Phantom Zone for forever and just got sent back like it was nothing? That's fucking terrible, the fear on her face (and Kara's) when the portal opened was heart breaking and she got sent back to the place where she suffered eternally. She's a fucking terrible person for sure but even she didn't deserve that. Lex, I don't give two shits about cuz we know if he got arrested again he would've still done shit like before so it was either death or Phantom Zone I guess. But I thought for sure after showing us Nyxly interacting with Esme last ep, she would've gotten the "villain but can be redeemed" treatment but apparently it seems like they ran out of time. It wouldn't have been the first time Supergirl has redeemed a villain, with Psi and Livewire. One of the things I don't understand is what was Nyxly's motive even to destroy the universe, it would've been more reasonable to have her goal to be collect the totems for the All Stone and finally take revenge on her father. Because we've seen that Nyxly doesn't particularly aim to harm innocents, just those that are in her way to get the totems so her wanting to destroy the world when she gets the All Stone just doesn't make sense.

- It would've been better if they played the "revenge won't bring you peace" shtick and empathising with Nyxly that yeah she's had a shit life and dealt a shitty hand but taking out her revenge on the world wouldn't just make her hurt and anger go away. She realises that they're right. Then send her to some magic proof jail and she gets rehabilitated and heal from her trauma.

- But we didn't get that and they just sent a woman who's been hurt her whole life back to the place where she suffered most. Nice

- I posted about this before but does William not have any living family? Why is he being buried in National City when he really only came here for a job? Rip William, we truly knew nothing about you and you deserved better than this.

- I really don't like that they decided to bring the DEO back. It had so many problems, they put aliens away without trail or jury for what seems like until they die, its part of the government which we all know means shady shit is bound to happen. Just so many problems. I would've preferred if they stayed independent and cooperate with the government rather than under the government. Did the entire Season 4 plot teach any of you anything!?!? Or even just start your own organisation without the government would've been better honestly.

- Alright for real tho does ANYONE know what the fuck the Lena Luthor Foundation even is? Like what does it do???? No one has ever explained it. Nice of Andrea to open a journalism school in William's name, its honestly the least she could do. Also just a sidenote, Lena just standing at the side with Andrea while Andrea is giving her speech, lowkey gives me "proud wife of the founder" vibes, kinda hilarious lmao

- Dreamer having an LGBTQ+ outreach centre is gonna make me cry again dammit

- I'm not gonna say much about the whole Mon-el never coming back thing cuz I know there are nice karamel shippers and I don't wanna be insensitive or disrespectful but I'm glad they made a solid statement that their relationship has run its course. I get why there are people who still ship them because when I watch back some S2 scenes they're good together but for me personally the bad things just outweighs the good and personally I see S2 Kara and Mon-el as more of a playful friendship but the writing just made Mon-el into a douche and turned their relationship sour

- I know Brainy isn't gonna leave but fuck this goodbye still make me tear up :'( (on a lighter note, I wonder if it felt weird for Nicole to kiss Jesse with the green make up on lol)

- Also how come Brainy didn't have a goodbye with the others? like they've know Brainy just as long they are family at this point and at the moment they think that Brainy is going to the future to merge with the Big Brain and fucking CEASE TO EXIST HOW IS NIA THE ONLY ONE UPSET HERE?! Where is his honorary sibling, Lena? Kara, Alex, they were basically his sisters. How was there only an emotional goodbye from everyone when Brainy is quite literally walking to what is essentially his DEATH??!! this literally just occurred to me, wtf?

- the moment has come...CAT GRANT BABEEE! Honestly her appearance single-handedly made me forget all the terrible writing in the first half of this episode. I love the fact that Cat called her to rant and almost didn't tell Kara the reason she called because she was too wrapped up in why she hates people, oh Cat its so nice to have you back even for just a moment. I wanna headcanon that this is a semi-regular occurrence that Cat just calls Kara regardless of what time it could be in National City just to rant/vent, that is now a headcanon you cannot change my mind.

- That mini panic that Kara has when Alex walks in to her apartment is adorable.

- Damn, that last Danvers sisters couch scene....

- NOW FOR THE WEDDING

- I saw someone else also mentioning this but who are all these people attending this wedding? Alex's friend circle isn't exactly large so I will just assume that they could be DEO co-workers, Kelly's military friends and social co-workers. Cuz let's be real we haven't seen any of them actually talk to anyone outside the Superfriends

- I am always happy to see a parent who admits that they weren't perfect and owns it. So glad to see that Alex and Eliza relationships seems to be getting better. Also Esme is just the most adorable child

- Am I the only one wondering where is Kelly's mom? Apparently according to the Arrowverse wiki she's still alive so...? or they couldn't cast a person in time due to Covid or some other reason? They seem to have a good relationship with her from what they say. Guess we'll never know. But I digress it was a sweet sibling moment between the Olsen sibs

- I haven't seen the clip of Lena and Winn entering the wedding venue before.😂😂 Why do they both look so fucking miserable?😂😂

- Okay Brainy clearly watched way too many movies and decided that yes this is my movie moment and did the most rom-com entrance. 😂😂 I love him so much. Him and Nia deserve all the happiness in the world <3

- The vows were beautiful, the outfits impeccable, just amazing. (Alex's hair could've been better but I digress)

- Esme's lil moment with her uncle Jimmy was sweet :)

- Lmao they really had Lena be like "I just lost my second mother and became a two time orphan, would you two fine ladies like to adopt me pls🥺". Smart choice honestly for making Lena the godmother cuz as the last remaining Luthor I will assume she just inherited a shit ton of money on top of the shit ton of money she already had 😂

- Wish there was at least one slow dance but it was also nice seeing the cast having fun and then probably crying once they yelled cut.

- Look we all knew that Cat Grant knew, its no surprise but it's nice that they made it canon. Cat Grant pep talks are top notch man. Bi......furcated, are you fukcing kidding me, so close, we were so close

- I just love that Cat Grant is always the one to push Kara and encourage her to dive but for some reason they've made it so that Lena's words to Kara is the final thing that pushes Kara to finally make the decision. It happened when Kara became a reporter and its happening again with Kara becoming her true self void of dual identities.

- Katie saying "hey, you" causes me to react in a way it shouldn't 😳

- I love how well Lena can read Kara. She approaches first playfully but once she sees Kara is actually troubled she immediately switches gears and comforts her

- The entire Kara/Lena conversation honestly says more than what is actually being discussed. Because out of everyone Lena is the person that Kara has this talk with, and empathises with her. And at the very end of their conversation its clear that these two are each others person, they better each other and push each other to grow in the way that parallels Alex and Kelly's relationship. They are there for each other and never try to fix one another but just be there for them and help them figure things out. The amount of faith and trust that these two have for each other is unmatched. And it is an absolute shame that these two will go down as one of the biggest queerbaits in history rather than the one of the most solid wlw slow burns. Truly shame on the CW and WB to have let this once in a lifetime ship slip through their fingers and tarnish their reputation even more to many members of the LGBTQ+ community.

- Random note, Katie's eyes are absolutely piercing during that scene, idk if that was due to lighting or the dark eye make up but it felt like she was looking into my soul.

- One final game night, I'm just glad that everyone was there looking so carefree and happy with nothing bad hanging over their heads

- One very small nitpick I have is that I would've loved it even more if Cat Grant at the very end introduced Kara as Kara Zor-el/Kara Danvers rather than Supergirl but I get what they were going for

- But I digress the first time I saw that very last shot with Kara smiling at the camera I sobbed because she looked so light and truly happy and that's all that any of us can ask for a character's ending is that they are happy.

And that is the official end of Supergirl. I know it wasn't the finale that many of us hoped for but I am satisfied that all the main characters got happy endings. It still doesn't feel quite real but I know that next week when I open tumblr or twitter and see no new updates on Supergirl it will hit me full force and I will sob again because yes in many ways this was a shit show but it was ours and we cared for it. And so did the actors and the crew, its such a shame that it didn't reach its full potential but it was still good in ways that I don't think any of us will ever forget. In a strange way I don't think I'll miss the show in its entirety but I will miss the characters, I will miss this cast being together, I will miss how I feel when I watch this show (obviously the good moments only). I can't wait to see the other projects that this cast will be involved in because they are truly a very very talented cast and this show didn't give them nearly enough opportunities to showcase their talents. And I think that's it, if you've read this entire thing, thank you for being my first true fandom experience. For the very last episode commentary of Supergirl.

Goodbye.

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #alex danvers #nia nal #andrea rojas #william dey #kelly olsen #esme danvers olsen #eliza danvers #dansen #brainy #querl dox

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dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition · 2 years

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Lost numbers for keeper and nobody!! (And maybe also anthe if you’re feeling up to it, your art looks SO good)

haha thankyou!!!

23 answered for nob and keep, 42 answered for keep.

if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

nobody would like cure wounds, blade of disaster, or, and this is just for my fellow players: the forbidden ring spell.

keep isn't a dnd guy but i have a dnd build for them (spores druid 17/lore bard 3) and i think they would want creation.

and anthe. god. she is v high level and i like the cleric spell list but i'd probably wager she'd want wrath of nature or guardian of nature. for fun.

what are three songs that suit them?

nobody: but i am just a broken machine and i do things that i don't really mean / i'm not complaining, i'm not anything / i've come here to kill my maker

keeper: illness likes to prey upon the lonely / this sudden rot has caught me totally off guard / this chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect

anthe: i am grounded i am humble i am one with everything / try not to get so righteous about what's fair for everyone / oh but our rotting corpses lying there soon began to leak and grow these lesions that all smelled just like a rose

do they trust their party? why or why not?

nobody does. i feel insane saying this.

keeper trusts them! she has her doubts about morgan and met, but thinks they're well-intentioned.

anthe. mostly does. vic has her worried, of late, which is bizarre, because she otherwise trusts him with her life.

what are their feelings on the people who raised them?

well. nobody doesn't remember being raised. but she now officially has opinions on both of her parents based on real life experience! julia sol is a good woman who deserves the best, and nobody is happy that they know each other now, that they can speak with each other. the oracle, meanwhile. doesn't love her. she knows this for sure, now. the oracle doesn't care about her happiness or her personhood, the oracle doesn't and will never apologize for what she did.

keeper loves her family and her people a lot!!! they raised her with care and helped her with everything. she feels like she was a burden to them, though, and that's why she left. they put in so much work towards healing her, but. she wanted to heal herself.

anthe loves her family. she doesn't think they love her back. she was sent away very young for (at least per her recollection) being bad for the family, too unruly and no bedside manner, so. she has a lot of complexes about that.

how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

anthe. it's short for anathema, which is. certainly a name to bear. she likes anthe, she likes anth. she thought referring to herself as "the high priestess" was a funny goof. any pet name from nev has made her melt.

what are three words they would use to describe themself?

nobody would be silent for a long time but if pressed: "wizard. friend. uh. learning."

anthe would say "nice? observant. strong."

#dnd talk #nobody #keeper #anthe

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riotbrrrd · 3 years

Note

top 5 fanfic concepts u may never actually write but enjoy tossing around, if uve got em 👀

Sorry I fell asleep on this because I couldn’t stop rambling so, twenty hours late, I want you to know you're a delight and also a curse. thank you <3

(It got really long so I have added titles to each paragraph so y’all can jump to the next if you’re really not interested in what’s going on in some of those)

1. The Marvel Robot AU: Forever ago when I was still into marvel movies Captain America: the winter soldier, I had started a very long fic that I called for convenience sake, the "Mr robot AU", but was really a mix of many stories about transhumanism. So basically instead of super heroes everyone was hackers but I kept the part where half of them were genetically modified or cyborg-ified or artificial intelligences. And made it a thriller pumped with body horror, where everyone is trying to find out how to stop the nazis hiding inside the internet. And honestly if I still had the strength to look at anything marvel related I would write this. Because I truly think I am a genius, and every once in a while I remember the whole plan and what I have already written and there were so many good ideas. But I think the psychological toll would now kill me.

2. The Magnus Archives’ School For Fear Avatars: I can't say I have given up on it but I am mostly writing it for me and it's probably never going to appear anywhere on the internet because I don't have the strength to go search for its target audience. But the lore of The Magnus Archives fits so much of what is going on in the Dyachenkos' Vita Nostra which is, if you’ve missed me ramblign about it, the best book ever written. And I could rewrite the entire book with Jon as the main character, attending the really mysterious school where homework transforms you into something monstrous. I don't know if that makes any sort of sense to you without the reference but trust me, it would work. It's also just a good excuse for me to completely dissect Vita Nostra to rebuild it correctly so I win anyway

3. The Mechanisms But Make It Actual Space Opera: It's not a "may never actually write" in my head and more "once I have defeated the chapter that resists me it's over for you" but the Mechanisms as a concept are very loose in lore so I can cram so much stuff to turn it into a serial adventure story in space. So once I am done with writing how Nastya Rasputina abandoned her system with a high-tech spaceship and complete strangers onboard, I am going to write so many other things about how the crew was built and what they do on their way through the galaxy. I don’t have a list but I have a list, you know.

4. Critical Role Background Campaign 1: there’s a part of the first critical role campaign where pretty much all the important NPCs and mostly all the female NPCs end up in the same town to protect it from dragons and do magic research,and I realized that it would need more wiki-searching than I was willing to commit to but I think this fandom deserves to have all these characters meet and do fun magic together for like ten chapters and I definitely love to daydream about Allura meeting Zahra.

5. Rewrite the entirety of Fight Club but everyone is a woman. That technically counts as fanfic even though I think I would be doing the literary world a great service if I could publish it through more official ways. But anyway every once in a while I re-open fight Club, and I rework a couple sentences/ paragraphs to make it work, and I will never be finished at this rate but I love doing it and thinking about how great it is.

You can still ask me my Top 5 Anything (and I will still give you ridiculously long answers)

#ask games #fanfic

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nurseofren · 4 years

Text

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 24

Read on AO3

Read chapter twenty-three

Title: Prove it

Words: 6800

Warnings: Talks of pregnancy, mentions of vomit

Summary: A friend. A foe?

ST Rambles: I look pretty good for a dead bitch.

Okay. In all seriousness. In the five weeks that I have not updated, it has been chaos. School is absolutely kicking my ass this semester and I am not afraid to say it. Maternal-Newborn is a hell I would not wish on my worst enemy. With this said, I know any further updates will be sporadic, BUT - and I say this to snuff out any doubt on the matter - I will never, EVER, abandon this story. However it ends, rest assured that it will, in fact, do just that.

I thank you all for your patience and encouragement. This story is something I care deeply about and it just floors me that others do as well. I love interacting with you all, either on here or tumblr or TikTok (if you've made one and I haven't seen it, please tag me! My fyp does not work in my favor lol).

Be kind. Don't forget to be a person. All you can do is try your best.

[MASTERLIST] | BANNER/@elmidol

Good afternoon,

I can only hope this correspondence finds you safe and well.

The Board of Physicians sympathizes during this time of displacement and potential grieving. There are countless variables to be considered during uncertain times like these, but those of your safety and well-being are of the utmost importance. In an effort to convey the depth of our understanding, a unanimous vote has approved the decision to extend the dates of the trial by seven days. Upon receiving this official communication, you should plan to arrive on Canto Bight a minimum of two days prior to the morning of the initial hearing. An updated outline has been attached at the end of this e-mail for reference and sent to all pertinent parties.

Per the initial correspondence, Commander Ren is to receive a new provider prior to the trial’s start date. This objective has been met with the solemn barrier of the diminished population of approved nurses and physicians which resulted from the recent tragedy of Starkiller Base. There have been additional unforeseen circumstances also working to lengthen and altogether halt this approval process. Rest assured that we are doing everything in our power to ensure the trial proceedings occur in an organized and professional manner.

The emergent provider shortage, along with the unknown – and likely diminished – amount of surveillance retained from Starkiller Base prior to its destruction, has laid the foundation for the discussion of potential and probable employment during your time on Canto Bight. The discussions surrounding this issue are in their infancies. Should it be that you are to assume a care position during your trial, you will receive a further updated and in-depth itinerary. This would include the dates, times, and location you would be expected to work; this information would be accompanied by any specific limitations regarding your scope of practice while on trial.

Though you are encouraged to reach out to discuss any questions or concerns you may have pertaining to these new developments, the current agenda is to be followed with strict compliance. Should there be any changes, as stated previously, I will communicate these to you in a timely and conscious manner.

Respectfully,

Karmen Zag, Esq.,

Head of Communications,

The Board of Physicians

“Yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself Karmen Zag. Stupid ass name anyway.”

Not that anyone could hear you, nor that anyone would care, you could not help the petty jab. Karmen Zag, the faceless mouthpiece of the institution actively seeking your death, had little to do with anything. Karmen Zag was not the one who had carved initials into your body; that person was elusive to you now. Karmen Zag was not the one who kept you from sleep; that person was dead, killed by the trembling hands of the very survivor they’d created. Karmen Zag was not the one you were currently hiding from; that person, achingly kind and too ignorant to know different, still came to pick you up from shift every night.

Cramped in the corner of a supply room, you sat with your knees tucked to your chest and your datapad resting on your thighs, eyeing the vent at the bottom of the door to spy Mason’s tapping foot. In the seven days since waking up in the medbay, six days since returning to work to help with the increased patient population – or, at least that’s what you were telling yourself – you had found yourself with a desperate need to distance yourself from Mason. He was unaware of all that was haunting you, nescient to the fact he was at the epicenter of the majority of it. To see him was to remember the choice you’d made, to hate yourself for regretting it, to be morally ripped in half by the unwavering war in the back of your mind.

The first three days he would always sneak up on you, flurries of white lies leaving while you fumbled away from him and into the nearest room. I’m on call tonight was your favorite. No, you weren’t, though you had been staying in the on-call rooms to hide the fact that you no longer held a residence on this ship. No matter if you had not received official word on your employment status, you felt an unease when thinking of returning to Kylo Ren’s quarters. It felt too broken, like you’d be a stranger somewhere you’d once considered a home.

Eventually, Mason being an inherent creature of habit, you’d picked up on his timing. On the fourth day you’d decided to stake him out, finding he would spend exactly ten minutes waiting, send a message to your commlink, spend another five toying with his own as he waited for a response, eventually asking whoever was nearest to tell you to call him. You never did. It was despicable, watching his hope falter as the days passed and you were never there to leave with him; wretched, but that did not make it any less necessary.

So long as you were away from Mason, you couldn’t hurt him. If you could create a rift between the two of you so great as to discourage any further interaction, you could save him from all the suffering that came along with being associated with you. On the other hand, you couldn’t deny the comfort you felt in deferring any conversation with him. Avoidance may not be a healthy coping mechanism, but all the ones you’d learned of in school were useless to your set of circumstances; there was no talking this through, no way to speak of Snoke or Kylo or Robbie without getting someone else hurt. You were trapped in your own, sole company; whoever you had become recently, you were barely tolerant of them, let alone fond. It was growing increasingly difficult to recognize your own reflection. At some point you figured you might stop looking altogether.

Zag’s update had been present in your inbox ever since returning to work; with each read through – which, now, you’d have read a hundred times – you felt time pass by. Each night you spent time tucked away here, the cold tile permeating the scrub pants you now wore; the uniform you’d had on when you arrived back on the Finalizer had been too tattered to reuse. Not that you wanted to wear it; in those tattered, bloodied threads lay the obvious truth of how entirely you had failed at the only assignment you had ever been trusted with.

Trusted. The thought made you shiver. Yes. Trusted. Past tense. In every sense it could be. Thus, folded into yourself, away from prying eyes or well-meaning friends, you scrolled aimlessly up and down the message. Though its existence annoyed you, knowing full well that there was no empathy or genuine concern behind the decision to delay the trial, it also brought you ease to know this portion of your life was almost over. Again you were embracing the possibility of your death, only this time rooted in hatred for yourself, not Kylo Ren.

“Alright, well, can you tell her-,”

“Tell her to call you. Got it. Do every night.” One of your coworkers had grown exasperated with Mason – or was it with you? Either way, peeking through the vent slats, you spied Mason’s legs drag out of view. It made your heart fall, feeling more disgusted with yourself each day; it was this confusing combination of feeling a pull to run after him, to apologize to him with every breath you had left, only for that initial urgency to be swallowed by the knowledge that the action would be futile.

With tired eyes, not having gotten more than two hours of unbroken sleep since the sixteen you’d woken from, you looked to your left wrist. It was a routine gesture, pointless in the fact you had not worn the watch since finding it on your bedside table. Much like your uniform, only agonizingly amplified, the sight of the gadget inspired a hollowness in your chest. It remained in a pillowcase, hidden atop the bed you’d claimed. Each night you toyed with it, thumbed at the lifeless screen and wondered if it would ever offer another flicker; each night you caught the hazy reflection of two unfamiliar eyes, finding only the remnants of shattered promises staring back at you.

A sigh crept into your lungs when you stood, arms stretching and hands smoothing back your hair before going to activate the door. It hissed open without your indication; before you could question how, two hands pushed you out of the way and sent you flying face first into the storage shelves. Nose first, actually; the collision rang through your ears, pain throbbing in prominence as you stumbled for stability, arms widespread and eyes pinched shut.

“Oh! You have to be kidding!” Copper crept down your upper lip, cascading over your sharp tongue, foggy eyes opening to blood-stained fingers. “Watch where you’re going, jeez!”

Away from you sounded the door as it shut, but that wasn’t the sound that alarmed you. Across the room, near the sink – at least you hoped it was near the sink – came the horrendous retching that could only indicate vomit. The longer you listened, though, all the while blindly searching for a package of gauze, you found it wasn’t vomit, but an attempt towards it; echoes of dry heaves wracked the room, vomit absent even as the stranger continued in their effort toward expulsion.

A spill of winces left you, a grimace following suit when you tipped your head back, blood draining down your throat. You found a box of gauze squares and tore it open, peeling away a layer and rolling it into a cone before pushing it into one nostril. Vessels pounded against the material, injury soaking into it as you caught your breath.

“I’m so sorry,” a familiar voice said, groggy and breathless. “The refresher was occupied, and the occupancy indicator wasn’t on.” She took another breath, gasping back spit. “I figured the sink in here would do.”

Another person you’d been avoiding. Talia. Sick. As she would be, of course. It was something you’d fought thoughts on; it was too confusing, too unnerving to put the pieces you’d been offered together. Hux had left her room, had been so distraught. Talia had seized and ended up in the medbay. Armitage. Stars, how that word haunted you in the way it left her paling lips. She’d been so disoriented, so scared. Glassy eyes and green pallor. And the person she’d asked for was Armitage.

With these thoughts, dizzying as they had become, came the image of the very thing that tied them all together: that square-cut, printed, glossy ultrasound picture. Between nightmares of Robbie and desperately trying to find any amount of sleep, you saw it clear in your head, remembered how you’d lost your ability to stand when you first considered the reality of it. It all made sense clinically; the symptoms, the tangible evidence showing a yolk sac, the patient identifiers framing the monochrome image.

But, when you remembered running into Hux, remembered the ghost in his eyes and felt the rather unsettling demeanor – one not marked with errant hatred – he’d met you with, it all started to blur. Jumble. Your mind rejecting the thought that Talia and Hux-

Talia mewled, your eyes opening to find white knuckles outfitting a vise grip over the sink’s metal edge. The fluorescent lights lining the ceiling made it all too easy to see how sick she really was. Tears glinted down her cheeks, her hair dull in its tousled bun, a string of spit straying from her bottom lip; there was a suggestion of green just below the surface of her skin, exhaustion evident in the lavender drapes below her eyes.

A shaky breath left her before she rested against the sink, elbows bent and fingers rolling over her temples. For a moment there was a deafening silence, one that strangled you and emphasized the throbbing in your nose when you stopped breathing. It dissipated when Talia groaned, her head drooping and stance shifting.

“At least shift is done, right?” She sounded like she was talking to anyone. She didn’t know it was you. She didn’t know you knew.

Swallowing, dropping your hand from your face, you tried to think of anything to say. But nothing would come. And, considering how little time you had left to know her – execution or not – you saw no point in frivolous small talk.

“How far along are you?” It was a low rasp; frail in its existence yet bludgeoning the quiet that had preceded it.

She didn’t look up, but you knew she recognized your voice; her every muscle stalled, hair even stilling as your words sank into her. It was the first thing you’d said to her since she’d seized. In her silent shock it dawned on you that it had not been long since you’d been in a situation similar to this; the two of you, a pitting silence, a mess – obvious and blaring – surrounding you.

Only this mess was not something that could be cleaned. This mess existed outside all you had once thought to consider. Though this room was less gruesome in appearance, it held that same suffocated dread, carried with it the reminder that everything could change without a moment’s notice. Watching the color return to her cheeks, absentmindedly brushing your fingertips across the raised marks atop your thigh, it hit you how true that fact was.

A small sound – a swallow – filled the room, a sigh to accompany it. “Six weeks. I think, at least. Maybe more.” She stood then, crossing her arms and leaning against the sink. A wall stood between you and her, invisible yet so entirely present. “No one knows.” Her jaw fluttered at its hinge. The wall was for her; a façade, a crutch. She was scared.

The door lit cool shivers down your back, hands digging into your pockets, a weak attempt at a smile pulling at your face. “Congratulations,” you offered first, forgetting the circumstances before seeing her eyes fall to the floor. “Or not, I guess.”

She kept her eyes down. “I’m not showing, and I’ve been good about sneaking away to throw up, so…”

“Last week,” you said, her stare coming back to you, “after Starkiller. I fainted after arriving back here, and after I woke up,” I washed the Commander of the First Order’s hair and cried to his comatose body about how my life is falling apart, “I just had to know you were okay, so I visited you.”

“I don’t remember seeing you. I actually… How did you even know I had been admitted to the medbay?”

“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.” You chewed your cheek, recounting any of those 48 hours made your pulse jump. “You weren’t well off when I found you, before they took you to the medbay, so I wouldn’t expect you to remember me being there.”

Her brow dipped for half a second, a crack creeping into that wall. “I didn’t know you found me. It’s difficult for me to even recall most of that day.” Her shoulders dropped, stature less rigid now. “Thank you, though.”

You nodded, not entirely sure why she felt it necessary to thank you. “Yeah. So, you were sleeping and I saw the tests ordered on your board. And then I found your ultrasound on the floor.”

Her eyes were so distant, pupils housing a familiar ghost. “It must have fallen when I was sleeping.” Her lips parted with the whisper, egregious loneliness overwhelming the thought.

It felt like the floor would fall out at any second, the interaction so fragile. Watching her with intent, measuring her reactions, you charged ahead into territory you’d been afraid to enter for so long.

“Talia,” you started, buying more time to think on your phrasing. Her focus startled back from wherever her mind had taken her. “I mean, maybe this is ridiculous, and maybe I’m so far off base in even suggesting it…”

Her arms dropped when a hand reached to tuck a collection of stray hair behind her ear, nose sniffing, teeth pulling at her bottom lip. She took her eyes from yours, breath picking up. That wall she stood behind was wearing.

You couldn’t stand beating around the bush any longer, sick of theorizing about it all. It fled out, no breath to separate any of it. “I’ll just say it: Hux was leaving your room when I came around. And he was being weird. So weird. I mean, he was being… would I say nice? Maybe just, less awful? He complimented me. And it was so weird, but I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt because, you know, he’d just lost a lot of men. But then it was you in the room and I.. he was so distraught? That is barely the right word, but I mean? He just wasn’t General Hux. And then I found the ultrasound and remembered how you’d asked for ‘Armitage’ earlier when I’d found you, and-,”

A weep signaled the destruction of the wall she’d thrown up, hands clawing into her eyes and lungs heaving full of ragged, desperate air. “Oh, please tell me you didn’t tell him! He can’t- I don’t!” Sobs rolled off of her between each exclamation. “I haven’t told him. I don’t know how. I- he’s so evil! I can’t believe I ever slept with him!”

Seeing her come apart, feeling the guilt she did in every word she cried, you could only think to take her into your arms. In your hold you felt her shaking and the pain roll off of her in thick, grating waves. It was familiar, like she, too, had been existing alone; you had not noticed, so buried in your own avoidance that you had not thought to consider hers.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so- I’m so sorry! It makes me so mad that- ugh!”

“Hey, stop. Slow down,” you soothed, hugging her tighter. “You have nothing to apologize to me for. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay?”

“No, I have! I slept with my Master! And got pregnant! And he’s such a fucking jerk! He’s the whole reason you’re losing your career, you know? And I had sex with him! And I feel- felt real things for him!” A breath stuttered into her lungs. “I never meant for it to go any further than that first night, and then… fuck.”

It burned down to your marrow that you had the power to comfort her, knew everything she was feeling even if it wasn’t hatred that left you crying at night. She would be embraced in knowing you had also slept with your Master; it would minimize the guilt she now felt. To tell her you had fallen for Kylo Ren could help her know that she wasn’t alone.

Instead, feeling her tears accumulate on your sleeve, struggling to keep in your own, you kept quiet. She would not learn how you had burned so bright for your commander. It was selfish, but it was necessary. Self-preservation. She would be testifying against you, taking the stand right after Hux. Her not knowing would do no harm; it would keep her from having to consider or commit perjury. Talia now joined Mason, another soul to protect, another person you would lie to.

Several minutes passed before she stopped trembling, another few before the tears stopped staining your uniform. Humanity existed in these moments, and though you would hide how you knew the advice you would offer her, you knew she needed to hear it. A part of you did, too.

Moving your arms from her back and grasping both her shoulders, you locked eyes with her and forced her to see that you somehow understood her pain. “There is nothing to feel guilty about. Not that you slept with him, or that you got pregnant. Not that you felt things for him or that you still do.” Her eyes shut at that, a fresh streamlet dragging into her mouth. “You can still love him even if he has done awful things.”

“Gosh, how can you say that? He’s ruined your life,” she shuddered, grimacing before looking back up to you.

“I made the choice to take that blood. I had a choice,” your throat tightened, not knowing if you were reciting the words from their origin or from your dream, “I made the one I thought was the best at the time. Hux may be an ass in the way he has gone about the issue, but it’s not like he wouldn’t have reported me.”

She sobbed your name, confusion and hurt wrought in her features. “That blood saved that patient. You saved that patient. We both know that. You saved him and you’re suffering for it and I’m the one who wrote the incident report. He made me write it. Such a fucking bastard.”

Just like that, whatever weird internal truce you’d made with Hux disappeared. “Yeah, that is a dick thing to do, I will say that.”

She wiped at her cheeks, shaking her head. “I should have lied on that report.”

“And gotten both of us in trouble? That isn’t a solution.”

“If I had, you would be less alone in this. And I wouldn’t have to testify against you.” Talia’s eyes shot to the ceiling and back, frustration hot on her breath. “It’s just so-,”

“Unfair. I know. I have… I’ve beaten myself up about it too much not to know that.” This conversation was too similar to those you’ve held inwardly. It was becoming repetitive to keep sulking over something you could not change. But Talia, if she wanted, could change her situation. “We went through the same program, got the same schooling, I know you know your options here.”

She chewed her cheek, shaking her head. A long drag of breath found its way into her chest, releasing when your hands fell to your sides. “This is where you find out how stupid I am.”

It pulled at your heart to hear how hard she was being on herself. “You aren’t stupid. And if you are? Could’ve fooled me with your class rank and just general existence.”

A laugh, weak but not acrid. “Academics were easy. Career is easy. This life stuff? Messy. Complicated. I feel like no matter what I do, it will blow up in my face.” That earlier distance glazed over her stare, a glimmer of yearning present in the way her eyebrows pinched. “And what I want…think I want? I’m not sure it’s even possible.”

“What do you want?”

Talia shut her eyes, capitulation and indignance set in her features, jaw flexed. “I haven’t spoken to him since that night,” she whispered. “He watched me fill out that report. I was sobbing in front of him and he said nothing.” A hand smoothed over her hair and clutched into her bun, lips quivering for a moment. “I didn’t even know until last week. I woke up for a few minutes and they started talking about all that had happened – fainting and seizures and blood tests – and they immediately wheeled me down to have an ultrasound to confirm the hCG results and urinalysis.”

She paused, growing in distance the more she shared. “Was it just your electrolytes that caused the seizure?”

“Yeah. Yes.” She blinked back to the present. “Belkar actually said I was severely dehydrated and that my metabolic panel reflected that.” Talia was dancing between two timeframes; gentleness framed her face when revisiting that of the past. Something so delicate in her stare; adoration cusping on hope. “I always told myself I would never have children. It scared me seeing how sick they could become when we had our unit on pediatrics. I’d never wanted to feel so helpless as the parents I saw during clinical.”

It almost winded you to watch a single tear slip down her cheek, allowing her silence during her pause before she looked up at you, desperation drowning her eyes. She couldn’t find – or, maybe, did not want to believe – the words that overwhelmed her. “What changed?” You knew, but she needed to hear it for herself.

Her lips had become puffy, teeth pulling at the bottom one. She reached into the front pocket of her scrub dress, pulling from it that square print, only now with rolled, worn corners. “I know it’s early and there are so many things that can go wrong and I know I had been drinking before I knew, but…” A swallow bobbed her throat, a fond smile forming when she toyed with the scan. “When they handed this to me? Something just, I don’t know, came into view.”

A surge of immense pain coiled into you. In her reverie you saw yourself, realized how fortunate her situation was; she had something she wanted and even though it was complicated, she had a choice in the matter.

Again, her mind had wandered, distraction framing her tone; her brows pinched together for a second, a question sparking from her memories. “Have you ever wanted something so much, and maybe you didn’t fully understand it, but you just knew? For whatever reason, this was the thing you would do everything in your power to make possible? To have what you want, no matter how daunting or nonsensical it seemed?”

“Yeah,” you choked out, coughing against the new strain on your throat, “I think so.” Talia had that ability, though, and it cracked against your skull how helpless you were to go after what you wanted.

“You said that I could still love him if he’s done awful things,” she quoted, her attention returning to you. “I don’t love him. I don’t think I really know him that well. But…” She shook her head, shoulders shrugging and a puff of breath leaving her nose. “I miss him. It’s so dumb, but the bastard is nice to be around when he isn’t buried in politics. When he’s just a person. When he isn’t the General. When he’s just—” another smile, similar to her earlier one “—Armitage.”

“That has to be the strangest part of this whole thing.” A small laugh bubbled past your lips. It had been so long since the last one. “Armitage.”

“It was very odd at first. But I’m not going to cry out General, oh please General! when I’m cumming, so I got over it.”

Dumbfounded, all you could do was gawk at her candor. It warmed you, though, feeling like that first night you’d hung out with her. A good memory. Her cheeks pinked in your silence and the sight pulled you straight into a ruckus of laughter, tears – born in pain, falling from humor – and lightheartedness. It was short lived, but Talia joined in your fit; abashed giggles leaving her smile-tight face.

“I mean, I feel like it would be weirder if you were sleeping with Commander Ren.” Talia jabbed at your shoulder. “Calling him… Kylo? That just feels downright wrong.”

Instantaneously, your high fizzling into nothing before her, you found yourself right where you were when you’d said your first goodbye. Ky. It wilted your heart, shrouded whatever glimpse of happiness you’d just caught. Talia was too lost in the joke to notice you’d backed away from her, face turned so she couldn’t see the suffering rise to the surface.

“Ha, yeah. Wrong. So, so wrong.” You cleared your throat, brushing past the weak attempt at nonchalance, ready to be off this subject. “So you miss him? You miss… Armitage? Yeah, no. I’m gonna stick to Hux, if that’s alright?”

A final laugh lit from her chest, Talia waving you off. “That’s fine, of course. And yeah. I miss him.” Her brow furrowed. “Do you think it could work? Me and him, and—” she gestured down to her abdomen, placing the scan back in her pocket “—this?”

This was none of your business, and you doubted anything you could say would help her, but there was genuine curiosity in her voice. There was respect in how she wanted your insight into something so intimate and personal.

A sigh preceded your reply, unsure if you were speaking to her or yourself. “I think… Just as you said earlier: no matter if its daunting or nonsensical or even completely impossible – if you want it and you are willing to do everything in your power to get it?”

Hope lit behind her eyes, bloomed in her chest at the suggestion. “It could work.”

Struggle hid behind a mask of hope. Of course she did not know how it pained you to offer words that would never exist for yourself, and it wasn’t fair to ruin her moment of clarity with the bitter bite of ill-placed jealousy. There was no part of you that envied her condition, but instead what it entailed; you coveted her ability to choose the life she wanted.

Talia shook her head free, a giggle warm on her breath. “We should get out of here. Night shift is gonna run us off soon. You have the time?”

“Uh, not readily available. But I’m sure it’s way past shift change.” You started toward the door.

“Hey, I noticed you’ve been staying in the on-call rooms?”

“Oh.” It surprised you that she’d noticed. The knowledge warmed you to your core, both from embarrassment and appreciation. “Yeah, I know you guys have been swamped down here with all the fallout from Starkiller, so I just thought I’d stay near to help out.”

She tsked, your name a mocked plead. “You are Starkiller fallout. You need to rest. Especially now that you can. I got an update from Zag about the trial. You’ve got, what? Three or four days before Canto Bight? Seven until the initial hearing?”

She’d done the same math you’d gone over at length. Hearing it from someone else’s mouth made it that much more real. Frightening. “I know. I do, I know. But what’s wrong with spending them here?”

“You know as much as I do that working constantly drains the absolute soul from you. Even just working these past three days I have been dying for my time off.”

“Yeah, but you have a reason to be tired.”

“I’m pregnant. You survived a planet exploding all the while keeping the Commander of the First Order alive. Are you forgetting that?”

Talia, I wish I could forget all of it. “No, I’m just-,”

“And I know you’ve been blowing off that McCarty guy. He’s a physician, right?”

Maybe you’d been less discreet in your efforts toward avoidance than you thought. It felt like being caught; this web of lies was becoming a strain, less of a benefit, a hinderance rather than protection. “He’s… Mason doesn’t know what he’s asking for, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” Talia strode to your side, stern eyes on your own. “Look,” a breath softened her demeanor, “whatever happened on Starkiller, whatever you saw or felt – it’s affecting you. I don’t know what it is, and I’m not asking you to tell me – though, you can tell me anything – but at some point it becomes a choice to remain stagnant in grief.”

“Hey!” Talia had always been blunt, but her audacity now clawed at your patience.

“Okay, sorry, yes that was very harsh,” she placed a firm hand on your shoulder, “but you are the one who made me realize that. Here. Now.”

Tears threatened but remained stuck in your throat. “Like you said, I’m alone in this. I have to be.”

“The way I see it, you aren’t-,”

“Talia, I am.”

“You aren’t. Me being here and that physician coming here every night is proof of that.” You met her with silence. She shrugged. “You could have left me to deal with my issues alone, but you saw me and knew I couldn’t.” More silence on your part, her stare flicking between your eyes. “I see you. You can’t deal with this alone. I won’t let you.”

You fought to hide them, but one by one fell the tears you had not permitted before. For so long it seemed you had been shielding others from hurt, ensuring a safety they were not aware they needed. Talia was offering that to you, now. Rejection was the first instinct to kick in, feelings of doubt and thoughts of I do not deserve this blaring in urgency.

But then she spoke, naming what you had been too scared to confront. “Choose to not be alone. It doesn’t make you a bad person,” her hand left you, overwhelming assurance in her smile, “You’ve been strong for long enough, for so many others. Let someone be strong for you for once.”

The next breath you took was a million times lighter than any you’d had since seeing Kylo those days ago. She really did see you, more than she could ever know. It was imperfect, of course; you weren’t sure anyone would ever be fully aware of how much pain you were in, there was so much you could never share. It was her offer that brought you solace; it may be superficial for you, but Talia was in your corner, and she believed, knew, that it meant something. In her eyes, pooled with intensity, you heard her loud and clear: that oath, born in blood, was renewed here and now, its strength indelible even in silence.

“Now,” she activated the door, its hiss shivering down your spine, “I think Mason would love it if you caught up with him.” The two of you stepped into the hall, already beginning to part paths. “I’d invite you to stay with me but I, uh…”

“You’ll be otherwise predisposed?”

“…We’ll see,” rose bloomed in her cheeks, “I don’t think I’ll tell him. Not tonight. Not yet.”

“Ah,” you sighed, a yawn slipping past.

“Get some sleep! And maybe just… get some, you know?”

The joke registered too late, her paces halfway down the hall before you called out, “Oh. Oh. No, I’m not with- we aren’t anything more than friends.” Not sure if she even heard you, she waved behind her before turning a corner. Well. That’ll need clarifying.

Heat flared in your cheeks, several pairs of eyes weighing on your shoulders at the outburst. Would there ever be a day when you were not embarrassing yourself on this unit? Given this would be the last shift before going to Canto Bight, probably not. Eyes tracking your steps, deciding to surprise Mason instead of call him, you found your way to the on-call room where your entire world was set up; remnants of a past one, at least.

In it you gathered your belongings – a pair of back up scrubs, a toiletries bag, and the lifeless watch. There was a hesitance before placing the device with the other items. Six nights you had spent staring at its blank face, resenting the stranger you’d come to see. Glancing your face before placing it in the bag, you did a double-take. In the most minute details, barely there, you found a familiarity in the eyes you met; they were less dull, something like life or light peeking through the surface.

You dropped the gadget into your pocket, gathered your uniform into the bag, and took a final glance at the shelter you’d sought amidst a storm that had nearly consumed you. Even though nothing had truly mended, there was comfort in the absence of solitude; in the face of probable death, the explicit knowledge that you were not alone made it less daunting. Less impossible.

A final breath brought the door to a close, footsteps leading you into the vast expanse of the Finalizer. The change in air was nice, lungs welcoming the difference and cluing you into the fact you still had a gauze square shoved up your nose. It took a tug to pull it from its place, a sting pinching at the sudden release of pressure.

“Shit,” you hissed, feeling a new stream of warmth trickle past your lips. Two fingers pressed to your mouth, testing for a mirage but coming back with the real thing, red creaks splintering into the ridges of your fingerprint. Without thinking you wiped it down your scrub top, forgetting you were no longer clothed in camouflaging black, but instead unforgiving grey. “Fuck!”

“Wasn’t this how I left you here the last time?”

The airlock must have snapped, lungs solid, muscles frozen. Tension seized your ribcage, pulse plummeting, blood bounding against tuned ears. Every bit of moisture abandoned your mouth. Every bodily process you could think of stopped.

There was no modulation, each word raw, bare, and clear as the last time you had heard their founder. At least, the last time you’d heard it while awake. It was less haunted now, filled not with insidious rage but rather bone-chilling earnest.

“I suppose not, given it’s your blood tonight.”

He drew nearer, boots heavy and steps paced to perfection, the rhythm of his stride an echo of your heart. Kylo Ren was less than three paces from you and all you could do was endure the sensation of a singular ruby droplet following the line of your artery, dragging past your clavicle, and ghosting the skin over your sternum. The crimson trail began to dry, steps no longer sounding when you forced yourself to look up.

Chaos tore into the base of your spine, every nerve ending firing at the sight of his bare face, no helmet to veil the visage you had memorized. The black strip rested in prominence, striking through his features; in it you found a curious attraction, finding it fit him. The wound was less severe now, healing with time. He wore no helmet, but that by no means meant there was no mask keeping him at a distance only he knew the measure of.

“Where have you been, officer?” Cyanosis was a likely reality, breath still evading you as each word fell in baritone; petrified pupils not knowing where to focus. “Your services finally required, and yet you were nowhere to be found.”

Nothing. No words. No sound. No thoughts. Barren in every aspect of cognizance, you remained silent and still, only knowing to perceive him for what he was: superior.

A twitch at his brow, a narrowing of his eyes. Studying. Testing. “How unfortunate; starved for words when they would actually count.” His injury moved fluidly against his words, a beauty in the way it ebbed with each syllable.

A ping sounded at your waist, commlink buzzing in your pocket.

Languid, Kylo’s eyes dipped toward the sound. “You should get that,” he drawled, eyes twitching before conquering yours once more, “could be important.”

His tone haunted you, demeanor too suggestive. You swallowed against a dry throat, locked in his stare, knuckles brushing your watch when you took out your commlink. It trembled in your grip, shocked muscles heavy with weakness. His concentration had become adamant, palpable, an eyebrow prompting your attention to whatever message had triggered the alarm.

Concerning the defendant,

In the week since the previous correspondence, it has come to be that the defendant is to partake in nursing practice during her time on Canto Bight. This allows the Board of Physicians ease in collecting surveillance imperative to their final judgement.

Commander Ren’s decision to bar the defendant from external practice has been nullified as to not contradict this process.

In permitting the defendant’s practice while on trial, the objective to obtain a new provider has been benched. Due to this, the defendant shall remain assigned to her current Master while residing on Canto Bight…

At last, breath flourished your lungs, an inadvertent gasp thrusting a glutton of oxygen into your airway. Crazed eyes darted over the message for any sign of a mistake that would prove it to be falsified; the only thing you could find was finality, a document containing the proposed schedule attached at the end of the message.

A buzz washed through your brain, overstimulated by the information, everything around you suddenly all too close and bright. Jaw bound shut but still trembling, eyes low and unfocused, a familiar pressure flicked just under your chin. The Force tipped your face upward, pupils strict in their position, passing first over a tense jaw and landing at last on the challenge that lay behind Kylo Ren’s glare.

“I’ll see you on Canto Bight, officer.” A serpentine smirk slithered along his lips, one stride bringing him so his face was hidden, shoulder linked with yours, and fingers jut out to graze at the hidden permanence atop your left thigh. His voice, an onslaught of emptiness, a cold threat, suffocated all that surrounded you. “You wanted to give me more? Prove it.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #ao3 #st kyp

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fly-pow-bye · 6 years

Text

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Never Been Blissed”

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: John West, Alicia Chan, Angela Zhang, Caitlin Vanarsdale

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yeah, it's not much of a blessing.

A decade ago, the Professor, out of jealousy of another scientist who did the same thing, concocted the original, and most powerful Powerpuff Girl. Her name was Blisstina Francesca Francia Mariam Alicia Utonium, or Bliss for short! She's the most powerful Powerpuff Girl ever, but she causes problems because she can't control her powers. Ultimately, she has to learn to not try so hard, and soon she would be moving entire planets back into orbit!

No, this is not an excerpt from a fanfiction, this is an official character from a official reboot. Because of the fans' frothing demand for new Bliss, Cartoon Network decided that the world needed a second Bliss episode.

Well, maybe that's not entirely the story. This episode had one scene already ready to go by the end of 2017 to be featured in a promo dedicated to 2018. Either the draft to air for this show is extremely short for an animated cartoon, or the crew and/or Cartoon Network already assumed that Bliss was going to be a beloved new character and greenlit another episode. I have more than a few hunches that it is the latter.

While her first special was a 50% mess, I would be lying if I said I was not interested to see what happened to Bliss. Bliss isn't in my top 5 worst characters. To make a long story short, I wish I could expect better. To make this short story long, let's get into the episode.

The episode starts with a janitor talking to his mop about how the kids these days make such a mess, comparing it to a meteor hitting the ground. Sure enough, a meteor hits the school. Nobody reports on this meteor hitting a random school, and nobody seems to care about it. Speaking of not caring, this janitor does not really do much and actually disappears halfway through the episode, only offering a few attempts at humor and nothing else. This is something the episode does a lot.

We immediately cut to the Powerpuff Girls home the next morning, I assume, where Blossom is making a batch of cookies for the upcoming Spring Fling. Because she is a nerd, these are soy mash cookies that taste horrific. Before we can get an awkward yet fitting scene where the Professor tries to lie to keep his children's spirits up, the door bursts open. Literally.

Bliss is back from space, and my standards were so low that I was surprised to not see Bliss be on Earth with no explanation whatsoever. Bubbles immediately wants gifts, and she gets one: a wanted poster with a picture of an alien named Sporde. While she was in space, she was hunting down this alien, and it happened to crash land right near the school.

The Professor decides to join in, too, as he just got a job as a substitute teacher! He wants to shape those young minds, and he learns that he's just out of touch with today's cool youth. You're better off not knowing what the self-proclaimed "King Cool of Daddy-O Street" does in this episode, it never leads to anything funny. Add him to the list of useless characters in this episode, alongside that janitor.

Speaking of "out of touch with our cool youth", we get another potential plot alongside the cookies and the Sporde: Bliss has never went to school. This plot is immediately thrown out when all the popular girls accept her because she has cool hair and a wicked dress. The Powerpuff Girls have that same wicked dress; I guess it is all about those...thigh-to-knee socks? White pants? They still never really explain what those are.

After that plot was wrapped up, and thrown downtown into the nearest garbage can, we go back to the “Powerpuff Girls trying to look for Sporde” plot. Buttercup hangs Barry upside down, dropping his lunch money and candy. Bubbles literally just pounces on Big Joey. One will never believe who Blossom gets to fool around with with far more time than the other two!

Of course, good ol' Jared Shapiro. His last major appearance had him be this awkward nerdy friend, but he's back to being the generic love interest brick here. Just look at how subtle this romantic plot is displayed.

Blossom: Jared, if you're not an alien, then you'll eat these cookies and tell me you love me...uh, I mean, them!

Jared Shapiro: (completely avoiding to acknowledge...anything) Yummers!

Yuck-ers. There is some good news: while everyone else manages to survive Blossom's cookies, Jared is not so lucky. Blossom asks him if he wants seconds, not realizing that her soy cookies just make Jared have a bad reaction.

No, really, Jared falls to the ground and remains nearly motionless in a pit of his own drool. This is the last time he ever appears in this special, not even appearing in the big dance. Good, the less needless romance scenes, the better. Blossom decides to take this as a no, not really worried about it. Being oblivious appears to be a common trait with the Powerpuff Girls in this episode, and a few other characters, too.

That may even include Bliss, as she does what could be the most expected "joke" you can think of when she encounters a girl with orthodontic headgear. She proceeds to roughhouse her. No worries, the girl tells everyone that the new kid touched her hand, and everyone wants to touch it. Bliss: so awesome, she could bully someone and still be popular!

Bliss talks about how there's no possible way to unless we see a trail of slime. Only in this one scene, we see a trail of slime, and immediately after, she gets tackled into a broom closet by a new character. This is as subtle as it gets, and you'll know what I mean later.

After fighting each other and accusing each other of being the alien, they decide to introduce themselves. This guy, who looks like if Ben Tennyson was a contestant on Total Drama Island, introduces himself as Logan of the Universal Protection Bureau.

Yes, Logan. This special was in production long before the Logan Paul Youtube scandal, but that is a sad coincidence. A coincidence that will not get even worse later, surely. Anyway, he's an alien fighter from the Universal Protection Bureau, and he's also looking for the Sporde. He's top-ranked, he's also an outsider, and he's already starting to flirt with Bliss.

They almost immediately get lost in each other's eyes, because we got to have some romance in this. There's even a running gag where they almost kiss until they get interrupted by someone, in the first case it's the wacky janitor and his wacky mop. This episode does re-confirm that this is an elementary school in a completely random Sherlock Holmes reference; Logan may as well be the only other teenager here.

That never really seems to come up, by the way. Everyone is just fine with these people who are 6-10 years older than everyone else hanging out in elementary school. Considering a lot of the students look like high school students already, I could see how it would not cross even the viewer's minds.

They meet up with the Powerpuff Girls, who have yet to get a single lead on Sporde. They're not consistent on whether or not there's a "The" in his name, so neither will I. The Powerpuff Girls have no idea what this Universal Protection Agency is, but they seem to agree that this Logan is completely trustworthy! I was almost worried.

As an aside, Blossom is happy that the cookies are surprisingly doing well with all of the kids that aren't Jared. Buttercup tries another one, only to find out that they really are still terrible. But do not tell this to Jennifray, who is really getting into the cookies, shoveling them into her mouth. She's also turning purple and growing fangs!

It turns out, only an alien would want to eat Blossom's cookies, but Blossom still does not realize this means her cookies were really terrible. Buttercup does her best by flying in to bash this aliens head in. I always imagine that one scene in Three Girls and a Monster whenever these scenes pop up where Bubbles just counts down to the inevitable Monster Punch Girls Down.

Sure enough, Monster Punch Girls Down, womp womp. Every fight scene in this episode is just a slideshow slow motion beatdown. Two exceptions, the second will come later, and the first being a shot where the Professor is listening to 80's music while this carnage is going on.

What is surprising is even Bliss gets knocked out. In fact, Sporde manages to pin her to the ground. I guess they had to counter all of those people who accused her of being this overpowered original fan character by showing that, yes, Bliss can get a terrible face reaction shot, too! She even has to be saved by one of the Powerpuff Girls. Just one of them, in fact, though she does get some help from the plan master.

Blossom tells Bubbles to use a battering ram, and she hits Sporde with a ram aura. And...that's it. Once hit by a ram aura, Sporde spits out a maggot, which Logan zaps with his ray gun. Mission accomplished, says Logan.

I can just imagine Sporde just being this tiny little maggot trying to take over the universe. However, it does contradict a little on what has been said about Sporde being a shapeshifting alien himself. There's still 13 minutes of special left, and there will be an explanation.

The first part ends with this shot of a bunch of those Sporde maggots coming out of a water fountain. This is a decent hook, though I could imagine that what it led to already happened, considering, you know, Jennifray.

The second part is where it "goes off the rails", quoting one of the characters here, not my own opinion. If you wanted to watch this episode without being spoiled on the main twist, then stop reading now. Don't worry, your expectations are not going to be entirely subverted.

← The Trouble With Bubbles ☆ Sugar, Spice, and Super Lice→

...

We cut to the still-unnamed-outside-of-that-one-short-but-at-least-Elementary-school Spring Fling, and Bliss is wearing her best outfit and a new hairstyle that would actually work on making her not fail the Matt Groening Sillohuette Test. By the way, have you noticed they forgot her headband this whole time?

Bliss and Logan are still doing their lovey-dovey shtick, and outside of some talk about beating up trash lizards, there is not much talk about his role as a space defender. It's still a better romance story than Blossred, which, as mentioned before, never shows up in this episode again. Logan, as a gift to make her even more beautiful, decides to give her something special.

Huh, a necklace. Just like the one from the title image, except the heart isn't broken here. It is almost as if it will eventually be broken in away that will be detrimental to Bliss. That can not possibly be the case, especially if we do not consider that the Powerpuff Girls were victims to this exact thing before. Bliss even tries to do another kiss, only to be interrupted by...wanting punch? They throw that running gag away, too.

What are the other Powerpuff Girls doing? Blossom is trying to sell these cookies, which are still doing surprisingly well. Despite being the genius, she never suspects a thing about it. Buttercup acts as the party's bouncer, a perfect job for someone who can lift people upside and steal their lunch money.

Bubbles gets to be on trash duty, because, as also mentioned before, the Janitor just disappeared from existence. While Bubbles is singing a song about taking out the trash, she eventually notices, also via song, that she's surrounded by a bunch of alien pods, which look like the Sporde ones Bliss was telling her about. Hey, it could have been something else. This is Townsville, after all. I think.

Bubbles gets Blossom and Buttercup to investigate this. She gets Logan too, as she still remembers he is supposed to be this space detective and not the love interest.

See, Logan makes a slasher smile, and fires his ray gun three times. We weren't clued in by that puddle of goo, or the fact that he's that one character we haven't seen before. Well, that and the janitor, but we already saw that he existed before the meteor, so it couldn't be him.

Logan goes back to Bliss, hoping we all forgot about that last scene, and decides to sing her a song by turning his ray gun into a guitar. Of course, Bliss is loving it, making that face. All I'm thinking of is when this guy is going to transform. And sure enough, Bliss's necklace starts to glow green and starts to sap her energy. Before she can ask what is going on, we get to see the real twist.

Logan: Sorry to cut this chord...

Logan: ...because I AM THE SPOOOOORDE! (transforms)

Bliss: What...you’re The Sporde?

Really, he was The Sporde the whole time? One of the first reactions anyone had to that description was that Logan was going to be the alien. It was not even a matter of if he was going to turn into the alien, but a. how they were going to do the reveal, and b. if they were going to add anything on top of it.

They did, actually. That "Sporde" reveal in part 1, possibly the one without the "the", was an admittedly clever bit of misdirection. I could see this reboot completely changing direction from a superhero action comedy to a generic romance, and, of course, they don't entirely do this.

Also, cool transformation scene.

Right after this big reveal, we get a quip from the Professor. Oh yeah, he’s the DJ now. It is as if they cannot ever go full action; we have to remind people this is a comedy by interrupting it constantly with these scenes. Anything is better than the intentionally poorly animated wacky faces, but this is not much of a step up.

Another riff from the ray gun guitar, and the other students turn into the Spordelings. It even rips apart their clothes. Sporde finally explains that the cookies were the source of their energy. Blossom's response to this is to cry about how nobody really liked her cookies.

The Reboot Puff we know and love interrupt this dramatic scene, revealing that they survived. The best we get is one line about how the ray gun just was not powerful enough to keep them down. That ray gun scene turned out to be pointless, and, much like to this episode's twist, I am not surprised.

The Reboot Puffs actually do a good job fighting the minions this time, even though just one of them was able to beat down the Most Powerful Puff. Maybe they didn't have as many cookies. That seems to be a general Season 2 trait; good at fighting the minor guys, but once the big guy starts attacking, the Puffs are as good as captured.

Sure enough, they do get captured, as The Sporde has the ability to spit sticky green goo, putting the Powerpuff Girls that saved Bliss in the first part of this special out of commission. It turns out, there's no room for the main three in this episode. Really, outside of saving her in that one scene they only put in to give Bliss some form of weakness, they don't do much outside of being oblivous.

With all hope lost, The Sporde airs his greivances about Bliss. He's not here to take over the Earth, he's only here because Bliss keeps going from planet to planet, destroying his pods. I do like how Bliss looks demented here. This is Sporde’s point of view, after all, that should be more common with villain flashbacks.

He also calls Bliss worthless. That came out of nowhere, though I can not exactly disagree with that notion. Maybe it was related to that "Bliss trying to fit in to this school" plot that they really did not get into. Sporde tries to deliver the final blow with his scorpion tail, only for Bliss to use the last of her power to move the guitar that was powering that necklace in front of her.

I am glad to see that Bliss punching the ground wasn't the result of a Katie Kaboom-style teenage meltdown. Do not remember Katie Kaboom. That is not a question, you should not. Instead, this punch is the equivalent of about 50 battering ram auras, making all of the Spordelings spit out their maggots, tranforming all of the students back to their former selves. It magically makes their clothes grow back, thankfully.

There is a huge contrast. Power of Four, the Powerpuff Girls had to team up to fight the main villain. Here, they’re stuck in Sporde’s...mouth goo. Bliss has to save herself in this situation, and she does. Considering how they built this alien up as this dangerous shapeshifting menace, the whole Sporde fight scene is just him getting whacked across the walls with telekinesis and that's it.

While they had to prove "The Power of Four" in her first episode, this scene shows off that Bliss can handle a huge fight all by herself. This even comes with Bliss thanking Sporde for showing what her purpose is: to be her own superhero in a spinoff series. Okay, they don't put it that way, but that's how it came off to me.

Bliss is not going to stay, of course. I'm not going to spoil how they write her off this time, but there is a reason why Bliss would be handing out wanted posters, and destroying pods. I kind of wish they would have focused more on that backstory than this school dance plot, really. To not give everything away, it would have been more honest.

Bliss leaves, the Powerpuff Girls and even the Professor begging for her not to. She tells them not to worry, because she'll be back for Sunday brunch. Yeah, that and the Bliss spinoff that this is not a pilot of. Judging by this episode's ratings, I would not hold my breath for that.

Does the title fit?

Despite the running gag, Bliss never actually gets a kiss. Not even from her own father figure!

How does it stack up?

A half hour “alien invading a school prom” plot was obviously going to be a let down compared to an hour and fifteen minute duel with the devil. Thinking back, this episode does manage to be better than most of Power of Four; there's no terrible retcons, and Bliss isn't necessarily that bad here.

I have softened up from my initial first impression, but this episode has its fair share of problems. It’s predictable, there’s a lot of wasted time for bad humor, and the ending just seems like it insults the original Puffs for the almighty glory of this new original character. Compared to the first Bliss special, it doesn’t become as much of a mess as the middle, but it never really gets as good as its beginning and end. A Neutral.

Next week, the Powerpuff Girls have to fight a different sort of evil invertebrate than usual.

← The Trouble With Bubbles ☆ Sugar, Spice, and Super Lice →

#ppg 2016 #powerpuff girls #fpb ppg 2016 #cartoon network

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ruffoverthinksthings · 7 years

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I VERY MUCH ENJOYED YOUR JAY/MAL BIT AND WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE! Things like Ben thinking maybe he and Mal weren't an Ever After and how the Jay/Mal relationship develops (for some reason the Natalia Kills line comes to mind: who needs true love, as long as you love me truly. I don't know why.) But yes, more please if you are willing to share!

All of these asks all neatly tie in to more of the events of whatis quickly becoming ahalf-headcanon/half-full-blown-fanfic-in-bit-and-pieces, actually!

As a refresher: Mal and Ben are still officially together, Mal gotwasted at a Big Party with intentionally capitalized letters, Jay tried to do Drunk Patrol, and it ended upwith it looking like they were totally about to get it on in adressing room even though Jay was being a gentleman and refusing totake advantage of Mal, but Mal was emboldened with the strength andcunning of a horny octopus.

(I’m sorry, I’m really proud of that metaphor.)

Auradon blows up in scandal, simultaneously decrying the perceivedinfidelity, lack of morals, and tested loyalties with Mal, Ben, andJay, and tuning in on all the celebrity rags to see all the latestjuicy details, insider stories, and speculation about it. While thethree of them got the situation cleared up, and are cool with eachother because they’re all mature adults like that, the fact remainsthat most of Auradon is convinced that Mal is cheating on Ben withJay, Ben is either tragically oblivious or slowly plotting how toframe Jay in an elaborate revenge ploy, or the three of them arehaving a totally consensual, loving, healthy (but still taboo)polyamorous relationship among other salacious accusations.

(And a large, sudden influx in “real person fanfiction” butthat’s a different topic altogether.)

Neither of them are psychiatrists however, so they deal with itthe only way they know how:

Raising hell and causing mischief.

The two of them rent a car so they won’t get ID’d straight away, buy several boxes of spraypaint, andgo all about the seedier side of Auradon City, the hostess/hostclubs, the authentically shitty dive bars, the districts that thelocal government and their residents mutually agree they shouldforget about trying to renovate and “clean up” every time theannual budget rolls around.

They tag walls and show the new generation of punks (”AVK’sgot nothing on us originals” Mal says as she paints over some OFFENSIVELY mild and not at all rebellious graffiti), they get drunk, they get into places they’renot supposed to just because they can, and they have a blast.

Mal slurs and giggles as she’s walking down a sidewalk with Jay, a LOT drunker than she thought she would be--and a lot deeper inthe crook of his arm than she strictly needs to be to stay upright. “Shit, Jay: I AM SOFUCKING WASTED! Do you know the last time I got THIS messed up?”

“Little less than a week ago, when you were at that... what wasit again?”

Mal scowls. “I dunno. I don’t fucking know what that party wascalled, who we were throwing it for, and why the fuck I decided I’d helphost it--all I care is that I am drunk, I am happy, and I think I amkinda high from all those paint fumes...”

Mal staggers to the side and awkwardly stretches herself out, as if letting aninvisible fae about waist high walk past them without slowing down.Jay keeps her from overbalancing.

“And you know what the best part of this night is?” shecontinues as she returns to their old configuration.

“What?”

“NOBODY FUCKING CARES! I’m drunk, I’m high, and I’m stillterrified of whatever the fuck that thing is that’s beenstaring at us since Merrygold Street, but you know what?” she flipsthe bird at a seemingly random direction. “It doesn’t matter!Because it’s just me and one of my best friends, ever, and there’s no media orwitnesses to see just how much of a hot mess I am right now...”

“And here you were having second thoughts...” Jay chuckles.“Good thing I was there to save you from another boring night!”

“Hell yeah!” Mal says, throwing the Maleficent. (The Horns, to us.)

She slows down, and Jay keeps going for a while until he starts tofeel Mal pulling him back. “Something up, M?” he asks.

“Thanks, Jay,” Mal mutters. “I mean it: thank you. Becauseof you, I’m free. I mean, it’s just for tonight, andtomorrow’s going to fucking suck, there’s no two shitsabout that, but...”

She trails off, and smiles at Jay.And even if she’s got greenpaint all over one side of her face when she got reacquainted withthe right side of the nozzle, her breath reeks like cheap jelloand even cheaper vodka, and her hair’s all frazzled and everywhere,he wants nothing more than to kiss her.

He lets the thought pass, however. Because he knows he reallyshouldn’t, and that for all that’s happened tonight, she’sstill Ben’s.

“Disgusting,” they hear from the side.

The two of them turn their heads and see a little old lady--thekind that refuses to move from her old apartment building that’s asancient as she is, complete with the pillbox hat--looking at themwith a glare that would have been terrifying under very differentcircumstances, but is just funny to them now.

Jay smiles. “Lady, we’re just two friends out having fun,”he says.

“Don’t you lie to me, boy!” the old lady cries, wagging afinger at them. “I can see right through you two--you don’tthink someone like me keeps up with the news? Why, I watch thosefancy ‘live feeds’ like a hawk, I tell you,A HAWK!

“And you! Maleficent Bertha Jr., you should be ashamed ofyourself! Is that any way for a future Queen to act, cavorting abouttown, getting drunk in the arm of a man who isn’t your husband,where anyone can see you?”

Jay rolls his eyes. “Geeze, lady--”

Mal puts a finger to his lips. The two look each other in theeyes, and hatch a plan in an instant.

“Oh no!” Mal says in her most overdramatic voice possible. “Mypristine reputation! My dignity! My pride as a woman, sullied by anight of temptation, vice, and sin!”

“And by the hands of such a handsome, devilish rogue of questionable moralitysuch as myself!” Jay says smugly, twirling an invisible mustache.

What follows next is about the most overblown, melodramatic,clearly faking it unless you’re really, really, really densescene of them making up the most ridiculous, salacious, scandalousimplications they can think of, going through the whole range ofsecret Evil parties in basements, cavorting about with Dionysus’Maenads, both actual fae and the alternative lifestyle community, vague references to body parts and acts with them, allwhile emphasizing the worst, most awful thing about everythingthey’ve “done”:

Jay and Mal aren’t married, and neither is she to Ben!

This poor old woman is just getting redder and redder and frothingat the mouth, waggling her ancient bony finger at them, and Jay andMal are just dying from laughter, they aren’t even trying tohold it back anymore.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit...” Jay is whispering inbetween the actual tears of delight streaming down his face. “Weshould stop--like seriously stop, I think she’s having a heartattack.”

“Gee, ya think?” Mal titters back. “Okay, okay, we really should, but afterone last thing--big finale.”

“Lay it on me.”

“I’m going to kiss you,” Mal says calmly. “But like, just a fake,stage kiss.”

Jay’s laughter stops in an instant.

Mal misinterprets it as his giving her the go ahead.

She kisses him. And through the haze of alcohol, paint fumes, anduncontrollable laughter, she realizes that she’s totally kissinghim in a way that can be interpreted as anything BUT “a fake, stagekiss.”

The old lady sputters angrily, frothing at the mouth, before shesuddenly just keels over. Jay drops Mal in shock, she doesn’t evenfeel her head hitting the sidewalk.

Mostly because she’s too busy processing the fact that A:

They might have actually killed an innocent if severelystuck-up old lady.

And B:

There is totally a crowd that wasn’t there before that’svideotaping the whole thing from every angleon their phones.

Meanwhile, as this is happening...

Ben sighs happily as he settles down into his private study, stilldressed in formal kingly attire from the waist up, and just hisinfamous crown boxers from the waist down. He never really got theappeal of his father going around with no pants if he could help it,until now, when he, too, was king.

He’s about to take the first book from the perennial stack of“To Be Read” books on his desk, when there’s a knocking on thedoor. “Come in!” he calls out.

The door opens, and in walks Lumiere with tray, on it a piping hot potof tea and a freshly poured cup. “Good evening, Master!Compliments of Mrs. Potts,” he says as he walks in and begins toserve it, “a most salacious and frankly ridiculous rumourjust popped up in the internet, and she wished to channel her outrageinto something productive.”

Ben graciously takes the cup into his hands. “Tell her I saidthank you, and please, Lumiere: just call me Ben,” he saysas he takes a sip.

He smiles; he can taste the heat of Mrs. Potts rage, butthe tea leaves make it a soothing sort of warmth that spreads fromhis stomach to the rest of his body.

Lumiere smiles apologetically. “Forgive me, Ben, but won’t youplease let this old servant perform his old tricks? Life is notquite the same, ever since your father and mother permanently movedout.” He pauses. “Especially when you perform much of yourfather’s old habits, this… how do the Americans say it? ‘GoingCommando’?”

Ben chuckles. “That’s going around fully clothed sansunderwear, Lumiere. This is just ‘No Pants Time.’”

“Bah!” Lumiere shakes his head. “I’m getting so old,”he mutters playfully.

“Not that old!” Ben counters.

Lumiere beams, up until he notices the title of book on top of thepile:

“Till It’s Gone: Recognizing the Value Of Your RelationshipsBefore It’s Too Late”

“That is… a rather ominous choice for bedtime reading, Master.”

Ben shrugs. “Never hurts to face the uglier sides of life sometimes,right?”

Lumiere frowns. “Is this about that deluge of scandalous anduntrue accusations that have befallen you, Mademoiselle Mal, andMonsieur Jay?”

Ben nods. “It’s just… I thought I left all of that behind inAuradon Prep, you know? And just... for all of it to come back, along with all of these people talking about when we’re getting married, it’s just...”

Lumiere puts his hand on his shoulder and gives him a loving,paternal squeeze. “Just do what I did, Master: grin, speak with them politely, and waitfor them to get bored and move onto someone else and make ridiculousrumours about them.

“And I should know: I was often an eye witness, ifnot one of the main parties involved!”

Ben laughs. “Dad always did say you had a very… colourfulpast, before you came to work for him.”

Lumiere smirks. “That’s certainly one way to put it. Mypoint still stands, Master: this is all just a natural, inevitablepratfall of being among the aristocracy. Soon enough, this will allblow over, you and Mademoiselle Mal will be back to your normal,loving selves, and all of you—Monsieur Jay included—will belooking back on this incident and laugh.

“Once this media circus packs up for the road, perhaps a vacation to Neverland is in order, with plans of adifferent sort along with it...?” he waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Ben looks at Lumiere, then back to his stack of books. He smiles,takes “Till It’s Gone,” and places it to the side, cover down.The new top book on the stack:

“How Do You Put A Ring On It?: The Commitment-phobe’sGuide To Going Steady, Proposing, and Staying Happily Married ForeverAfter”

“Thanks, Lumiere,” Ben says. “Could you get Cogsworth onthat?”

Lumiere allows himself a moment on unprofessional behaviour andpumps his fist in the air. “At once, Ben. Shall I also call yourmother and tell her it’s finally time?”

Ben nods, looking at the photo he has on his desk of just him andBelle, recently taken on her birthday earlier that year. “No timelike the present,” he says.

Lumiere pats him on the shoulder once more. “Her ring is goingto look so beautiful on Mal’s hand, Master.”

He lives to regret those words, but to be fair, though, therereally was no way he could have known.

#Descendants #Disney #Headcanon

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