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apparentlyaswarmofbees · 4 years

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Deaf MC vs Devildom

A HUGE thanks to @jaywalk-on-me for reaching out to me about this subject. I really hope I have given this it some justice.

Also, to avoid some of the controversies inside the Deaf Culture: I will not be referencing cochlear implants.

And a note for my fellow hearing people, there is definetelly not much difference between us and deaf/hard of hearing people, in fact, after reading about it, I can hardly consider it a disability seeing it can actually allow them to percieve the world in a much different way from ours and would not have any problems in their life if only us, hearing peers, were cooperative and understanding. Everything we need to do is literally minor details and does not hinder our own lifes in the slightest, in fact, it can even help us too! An example is captioning, there is literally nothing to lose, and honestly, even I put captioning on movies of my mother lenguage because sometimes I just can't understand what is being said and captions really help me with that and enjoy whatever I am watching to the fullest! So let's be more understanding. We are all humans, and can all learn from each other's perspective.

And as always

Warning: Uncensored swearing lol, and reference to lesson 16

Lucifer

Ah, yes, he knew about it, was in your files, nailed it, he learned your local sign lenguage, all good.

Except his expressions are so damn stiff.

He signs a 'Welcome to The Devildom' and I kid you not, you will not be able to tell if he is trying to be welcomingly polite (and failing miserably) or threatening you.

It was definetelly both

He gets better at it-

Perks if you like classic music though, because you will be able to give him a whole different way of enjoying it.

He won't force you to speak if you choose not to, but he sure will never stop being delighted to hear your voice if you do.

It still baffles him how observant you are, may start trusting you to find details he missed on certain things.

Mammon

He definetelly forgot everything he learned on sign lenguage the moment he stepped out of the tutoring Lucifer made him and all his brothers, except for Levi and Satan, go through.

Yes he will mistake around 5 signs per day on the first week of your arrival in the Devildom.

And he will often forget that you most likelly cannot hear him (if his voice frequency doesn't match your hearing that is) and go off blabbing without signing and then just go "oi why ya ignoring me" and he definetelly is this close 👌to being wacked with the closest thing at range.

Again, he gets better too.

In fact, once he warms up to you (and that's like, real fucking fast) he will make so much effort to get things right, and he always pays attention to have captions in movie nights even without you asking??

He tries lip reading once when you told him it's not easy and, I will let it to your imagination what on hell he managed to lip read.

Leviathan

As mentioned above, he didn't need the tutoring. Why? Guess what, he already knew at least a few sign lenguages, all because of the many animes, games and shows he has watched portray it, even though the ammount of representation is small.(btw I recomend DARK, there is a deaf&mute character and oh boi she's awesome, it's on netflix)

So he definetelly had no problem communicating with you, in fact, he was almost relieved.

He doesn't need to speak verbally?? He basically would rather spoon his eyes out than talk on the phone so on drug levels texting instead is like heroin????

And oh lord you NEED to invite him to the music festivals on the human world catered towards deaf and hard of hearing people, be will LOVE it.

A little bit of downside though, some of his expression changes are very subtle, but as he spends more time with you, he will start incorporating character voices into expressions and body lenguage instead, and you bet he enjoys doing it.

He will definetelly make music just for you. You only hear high frequencies? Or maybe only low frequencies? Or just nothing at all but you enjoy the rythmic vibrations? He definetelly has spend an entire night making a full fucking album just for you.

Satan

Seriously, he knows so many sign lenguages it actually made his way of signing pretty unique!

Another fake ass who will give you gentlemany smiles at first. He may be a way lot more smoother than Lucifer but you bet his fake ass is not passing your vibe check, not with the way his eyes just feel a little bit not right.

Another one who gets better though.

It's kind of nice how he grows so used to signing while speaking that his hands often give off a sign or two even when he is speaking to hearing people.

He will definetelly roast quite a few half assed interpreters.

Also he may or may not have gotten a new obssession after you two watched a few silent movies together??

Asmodeus

Oh boy this one needs to chill out a bit.

If you can't interpret signs when done too fast then good luck because his hands will literally be able to spell a full fucking paragraph in 20 seconds.

And oh how he explores your other senses.

Definetelly goes to you first to judge how he looks.

Also he is the best option to keep yourself informed?? I mean, it's also something he can relate with, it doesn't matter if someone killed somebody or just broke their nail, he needs to know about it.

He may be a bit disappointed if you don't speak but he gets over it quickly.

Will ruin many people's carreer if they so much as refuse to attent to you just because you're deaf. There's just nothing wrong with it??? Stop being so petty!

He is now your biggest distraction in mid class and you will definetelly end each day carrying at least 10 paper notes in which he will try to speak with you. They definetelly smell like whatever he smells like at the time. And are definetelly written in colored pen. With glitter. And there are hearts. And possibly a kiss mark-

Beelzebub

Big boy definetelly has two types of sign lenguage he uses, and if literally depends if he is eating and what he is eating.

Normally he is just, normal lol. Since he is pretty much quite a bit of an amateur at it he will make use of speech filters a lot when he needs to remember certain signs.

If he's holding something big like a sandwich he will either just gulf it all in to have both hands free or try to make a simplified version with one hand. I'll admit the first scenario is quite amusing.

Yes some of the first questions he asks is how to spells certain foods.

And yes you bet you won't be able to know all of them because Devildom food is definetelly something.

Oh and get ready for a bit of chaos if anyone refuses your order because you're deaf.

Please tell him to flap his wings and proceed lay on him or hug him. The vibrations will be very much close to one of those massage chairs.

Belphegor

Oh boy.

First off, he did NOT know about you being deaf because thanks Lucifer.

You guys definetelly spoke in a lot of exchanged notes under his attic door.

He keeps them all hidden somewhere but he will never admit it.

If you're willing to teach him at least how to say 'hi', 'good night' or things like that, he will appear to not be very interested but once the entire lesson 16 fiasco happens they're definetelly the only signs he knows about for some reason when he finally gets tutored.

Still texts you instead.

Even in the same room.

That's what you get from the avatar of sloth I guess-

He does sign a few remarks at you per example commenting on how the new hairstyle Asmo decided to make made his bangs look like a poop behind his back.

Also this:

(The picture above actually happened and was translated to english from my mother lenguage)

#i literally spend DAYS brainstorming this #and then I searched for any other headcanons anyone else has made on deaf people on other fandoms and BOOM #I N S P I R A T I O N #obey me #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #sanaulgi this one is for u #707 #707 mystic messenger #lolololololol

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tosikoarts · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet | Koito Otonoshin

WAP reference? In my SFW alphabet? More likely than you think. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot under the cut.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

First of all, everybody in the radius of two kilometers knows that Koito has fallen in love. He isn’t loud about it but it is written all over his smug face 24/7: when he starts daydreaming about them (which he does a lot), faint blush covers swarthy cheeks and his eyes fixate at the farthest point on the horizon. Tsukishima has to call three times before the Second Lieutenant finally notices his presence.

Okay, maybe, he is a little louder than was previously stated. Koito hasn’t had a lot of love experience so for him it is a bumpy road of trials and errors. Considering his behavior in front of First Lieutenant Tsurumi, easy to imagine how he awkwardly stutters in the crush’s presence, switching between native Satsuma dialect and classical Japanese. As they grow closer, nervousness dies down, and Koito finally talks like normal people do! Oh, he is such a show-off. However, he is a sweetheart as well so his talk comes across as a nice kid trying to be overly cool. Makes tons of compliments but can’t take any himself. No, he does. No, he doesn’t. Koito is a mess that thinks about small compliments for weeks. You say he looks nice with hair parted down the middle and this young man never goes back to his previous haircut.

It is serious when Koito starts rapturously venting to Tsukishima about them. At first, Otonoshin starts asking subtle questions not to seem too inexperienced. Then he asks for advice on how to dress, what to give as a present, how to act in general. If there are any problems in the relationship, Koito will 100% craw to his Sergeant for help.

One of the first and generally the main way of affection for Koito is giving pricy presents. Even when he is trying not to flex on wealth, it comes across as disguised bragging. Gifts given are always unique and of quality, so there is no reason to be indignant.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

His best friend has to be either someone from childhood or the Imperial Japanese Army Academy. Koito won’t befriend anyone in the actual military (except one exhausted Sergeant) since he has a fear of becoming a career trampoline.

Koito squanders the money on entertainment with no remorse and no shame. If he gets a new Western-style suit, his best friend will receive one in the mail too. On nights out Koito generously pays for the food and drinks, saying that they will pay next time but the next time never actually comes. There is some money in his bank account, why not spend it?

His best friend automatically becomes a part of his family and friend of Tsukishima. Koito doesn’t ask, he confidently states it. If they for some reason do not want to be close with the listed contingent, Koito faces cognitive dissonance and, notwithstanding, tries to improve relations between them.

Koito is not a stranger to gossiping and petty drama. He doesn’t get involved ever since his family has a status to maintain, but he knows what skeletons are hidden in the neighbors’ bedroom closet. His best friend hears the phrase “You won’t believe what I know” more often than “First Lieutenant is so amazing”. By the way, yes, Koito is still that fangirl and they have to deal with it.

Eh, you can’t rely on him in troubles, though. He will unapologetically push the blame on another person to stay an innocent good boy that was accidentally dragged in the mess, but he will make amends after the noise dies down.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He is so touchy-touchy-lovey-dowey, oh my god, just like you would expect from a touched-starved young man. Koito has no problems with PDA, he enjoys gazes fixed on him, so it is not uncommon to see him with the partner on the lap. Tsukishima learned to turn a blind eye and do some extra work to give the Second Lieutenant more time with his loved one. Koito prefers spooning to any other position so he can press them against his chest and fall asleep in their warmth. Sweetheart cradle is the second-best option but, honestly, Koito is down to anything that includes any of his limbs resting on their body.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Too young (especially in the mental sphere) to think about settling down. He is 20 years old or something, right? Koito doesn’t even know what he wants, what his principles are, what his life guidelines are, so no, there’s no way he thinks about settling down any time soon. Perhaps in 3-5-10 years, after his father knocks some sense into the guy, Koito will come to the conclusion that it's time for a new chapter in his life but definitely not now. Oh, also, he is useless in the household. He can’t cook, he can’t clean (and he can’t tell how he got this ring).

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

That doesn’t go well at all. Pangs of conscience do not give him the chance to pretend and delay the moment for too long but Koito can’t just say “yeah, that’s it” and walk away as nothing happened either. He chooses the most feckless option – cruelly distancing himself and making them lose interest in the relationship. Once the decision is made, there’s no going back. Koito's interest in his military career rises significantly and, suddenly, he is always busy disciplining juniors, taking additional trips wherever First Lieutenant sends him, surprising everybody with an overwhelming passion for small arms… Yeah, I’d say that boy sus.

If the time spent apart doesn’t kill their fire, Koito will go full mean mode and start acting like a literal jerk. It’s small comments that hurt the most: he finds them too loud or too quiet, too touchy or too cold, yadda yadda. Unreasonable ostentatious attacks of jealousy? Hell yes. His goal is to get on their nerves even if it means still small voice will whisper what a terrible person he is. Regrets the childish behavior months later but won’t admit it no matter what. Fights the desire to crawl back to them for a year or so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

It's too early to talk about it. Again, he is standing on the doorstep of real-life and significant changes like getting married and starting a family are not even close to his vision of the future. Koito hesitates much and overthinks more so there is no point in waiting for a proposal in the first two years of a relationship. There are vulnerable moments when he doubts his own suitability for marriage. They may lead either to deep conversations with psychological aspects (remember the gnawing feeling of being a family failure?) or to abrupt distancing but in both cases, Koito pulls himself together and remembers: if such an amazing person chose him among another than he must be special.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

One of the few soldiers who were left damaged but not broken, so gentleness does not just smolder, but burns in Koito's heart. When it comes to being gentle, he is a physical manifestation of fondness: it beams from his eyes, radiates from his touch, and hides in his choice of the words. Someone may find it inconsistent, but brutality outside the battlefield, in any type of relationship, seems unnecessary to him as well. In a physical sense, Koito is quite remarkable in his raring, so his actions can come off a little sloppy, rushed, and aggressive.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Exciting hugs! Koito trembles from the top of his head to the tips of the toes when he gets a chance to hug his loved one even if it is the tenth time this day. Most often, he starts with a fast welcome kiss on the cheek before pulling them into the tight embrace: it is heartwarming but never the same, which makes a person wanting to come back for another dose of unconditional love. Koito is down to hug at any time of the day, of the week, of the month and, honestly, he sees it as one of the most gentle and innocent expressions of affection.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Blurts it out by accident after half of a year of stale dating. The delightful feeling of sentiment overwhelmed him to the point of blinding adoration so Koito couldn’t stop himself from an unexpected confession. With head resting on his hands and cheek muscles twitching from the continuous wide silly smiling, Koito just blurted out what came to his mind at the moment, realizing what that was a few seconds later. To avoid embarrassment at all costs, he played dumb even though everything was written on his face in bright red color. Whatever. Conscious confession isn’t that easy. He is full of love but translating it in an understandable voiced statement is freaking work.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Whether he is a witness to his loved one being a flirt or his loved being hit on, Koito is l i v i d. In the first case scenario, his ego is hurt so badly, he storms from the room to avoid throwing a tantrum right there on the spot. Any attempts to speak with him after what happened result in loud indisputable “don’t touch me” and silent treatment for a good week or so. The mere thought of being replaceable terrifies poor Koito, it forces him into unhealthy coping like acting demonstratively independent and detached to show them he can do it solo. We’ll pretend it is not a desperate tactic to punish them, ok ok. When his love is being hit on, Koito does not even assess the situation. He rushes to the partner to save the day, steps between them and another person, laughs it off, and asks his rival if there’s any problem. Usually, confrontation is pretty effective against unwelcome suitors. Thank god, because Koito wouldn’t want to get physical anyway.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Awwww, have you ever imagined yourself as a teacher? Too bad because as much as passionate he is, Koito is hopeless. Literally. Lack of experience affects his (non-existing) technique. Couldn’t figure out he had to open his lips for a French kiss, leave alone any abstruse tricks, and knowledge of more sensitive spots to pay attention to. All preferences in the form of instructions have to be said aloud: Koito may act like he doesn’t need them, he is so cool and mature, and only losers need to be guided, but in reality, the opposite is true. Thanks to the above-mentioned features, his favorite kisses vary from pecks on the cheek to thigh and hand kisses but they never include kisses on the lips. If the partner is the same height or taller, he prefers to be kissed on the temple and top of his head. In other cases, doesn’t have any preferences.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

There are times when you have to do what you have absolutely no idea how to do, and it perfectly describes Koito’s relationships with kids. Somehow, they are on the same level but at different poles: he would rather cry because of how annoying capricious baby is than find any way to calm them down. Changing a dirty diaper is a challenge like no other, and going to the continent for a little girl protected by the company of bloodthirsty, armed to the teeth veterans sounds a lot easier (and not so disgusting) than babysitting a single baby. Older children are fine if they know how to keep themselves occupied and out of the sight. On his watch, there is always a small chance that the house will catch fire or the most active child will break their arm. Requires obligatory supervision of a more experienced babysitter.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

No one is leaving the bed in the morning. Sleeping in is inevitable. Do not plan anything for the first part of the day because if Koito chooses to devote the weekends to the lovely company of his partner that means he will squeeze every single second spent together out of it. It doesn’t matter what they do in the bed, like cuddling, talking, doing something spicy (youtube censorship much?) as long as they remain under a warm blanket. Koito giggles a lot catching their soft gaze on his lips, tickles them when silence falls. If the couple stays in the family house, servants are ordered to prepare the tastiest breakfast with gourmet chai tea as well as to find possible entertainment for the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

The end of the day is the last opportunity to let off steam before getting into a slower pace, and, finally, going to bed. To no surprise, Koito prefers activities aimed at the work of muscles and not of brains. Nothing too extreme though. Horseback riding is a common pastime if they are not in the mood for anything else. In other cases, Koito offers to play cricket in the summertime and go ice-skating in winter but his all-time favorite is swimming in sun-warmed waters of a crystal clear river. Despite the cold underwater currents winding around the ankles, Koito can swim in circles for hours without letting his loved one go ashore. If they are up for a challenge, competitions for who can hold their breath longer and swim to the other side faster are always a choice.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As soon as they let Koito know that they are interested (doesn’t matter in him personally or in him speaking), the dam breaks. He is ready to talk about anything, from how the day was to the meaning of life, the role of the monarchy in the future of Japan, and what influence Heinojou’s death had on him. So to say, Koito sees no problem in opening up early in the relationship. There are no forbidden topics in his mind except, maybe, what is so below the beltline: starting any intimate conversation reduces Koito to a red stammering (in Satsuma dialect of course) mess. It gets better with time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Chill enough? Not in the Tsukishima’s sense of “I have seen too much shit in my life so I am no longer surprised by anything and I expect nothing as well” but in a cheery and optimistic outlook. If he breaks a plate or cup, it is a reason to buy a new one, not to throw a tantrum on how Japan no longer makes quality dishes. How boring life would be without nuisances, huh? However, Koito immediately blows off when it comes to serious matters like life-threatening situations. Overall? Absolute ray of sunshine, anger is unnecessary, keep calm and take it easy.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers nothing but anniversaries’ dates. Seriously. Don’t expect Koito to compliment your eyes’ color, he doesn’t remember it. Favorite food or place? Did you mention them at all? Hm. Blame it on the charm of the moment that hypnotized Koito and sent him into oblivion. He doesn't bother himself with writing down any facts and details and is visibly surprised if the partner expresses frustration with his forgetfulness.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Perhaps it will be a surprise but the most memorable moment for Koito would be doing “bad stuff” together. As for a person, who has not yet emerged from cheerful adolescence, drinking, smoking cigarettes, and, who would have thought, opium together leaves a weird feeling of agitation and gaiety. Hiding with the partner in crime, bottle covered under the lieutenant's coat as if he is some kind of thief, is something Koito won’t ever get used to. He drinks and mumbles gibberish then pulls his loved one closer for some sloppy smooches that never work out: someone keeps missing lips and laughing like a goofball after every failure.

Smoking opium, which happened exactly one time, was the complete opposite of previous experience. They ended up in semi-darkness in a distant room with artfully painted paraphernalia and one carved pipe that was passed back and forth for the whole night. An intoxicating sense of calm and emptiness hit Koito in the head as he was watching his loved one fusing with the thin lilac smoke: a situation they were in was too bizarre to be real but magical too so he had no right to complain. Memories of that night stayed with him for the whole life but Koito never had a desire to go for a smoke again.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

For the sake of justice, Koito has a protective side, but the carefree character often overshadows it. He meets dangerous situations in conditions where one large group of opponents confront another so everyone covers each other's back. When Koito has to fight one on one he can fully rely on the own strength and reactions but when there is someone to protect things get messy really fast.

Koito is ready to cover them with his body to save from a whistling bullet but this thought comes from a place of “I can’t come up with a plan what do I do what do I do” and not from rational thinking or self-devotion in the name of love. Nah, boy just no thoughts, head empty but HEART FULL.

Would want to be protected as well? He has no problem being viewed as one who needs help. Won’t want them to act recklessly though, exchanging their life for his isn’t fair a bit.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Youthful maximalism and all-encompassing love push Koito to new feats every day: he racks his head over which place to choose for a date, should he buy them expensive things or no because what if they look at him as at tasteless braggart, maybe, he should have not brought a bouquet today, maybe, he is too annoying… At the beginning of the relationship, he is excessively enthusiastic and scarred to mess everything at the same time. Often this mixture leads to an awkward situation but with some guidance, Koito calms down and begins to feel a partner on an intuitive level. Anniversaries will still be celebrated on a grand scale though. He has literally no chill when told to make that one day special. Lacks consistency when it comes to everyday tasks: either puts all of his effort in building a stool or does nothing the whole day.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

The bloated ego doesn’t seem a big problem at first but it keeps popping up now and then in the conversation and overall behavior. Again, it is not even close to megalomaniac extend but can be pretty annoying when Koito keeps putting himself in every story and boasting with every minor achievement.

Not the most independent, kinda clingy guy that needs somebody that he can always rely on. We have already seen Tsukishima's fate and this is what awaits for the person who decides to tie the knot with him.

LOUD. SO LOUD. DEAFENING! If you think Koito would lower the voice down or, for the frick’s sake, stop screeching but no! Excited? Yell! Scarred? Yell! Surprised? Yell! I can see him screaming louder than his newborn baby shocking midwives in the maternity hospital. Pray to God that it is not inherited.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not to call him obsessed, but Koito takes good care of himself and tries to be attractive in the eyes of others. He may spend a little bit too much time staring in the mirror during the mourning routine, brushing hair locks just the exact way he wants them to be. Several creams are lying in the drawer of his nightstand and Koito replenishes its stock with enviable regularity. Of course, he looks sharp: when circumstances do not oblige Second Lieutenant to strict dress code, he pulls off well-tailored looks, both traditional Japanese and Westernized ones. Just imagine him dressed to kill, wearing an all-leather long car coat with skintight gloves. Koito is too powerful in his handsomeness.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Has zero knowledge of how to handle break-up and that pretty much describes what a hell ride it will be for Koito. Obviously, the violent reaction is accompanied by complete confusion, he is at a loss for words and can’t find the right ones even in the Satsuma dialect. Well, if he had a gut feeling that they are planning on leaving later or sooner, Koito would lash out at them in the worst way possible: every wrongdoing suddenly transforms into hidden signs confirming that he was not loved at all, never ever. He makes a loud scene with eyes brimming, screams whatever nonsense comes to mind to stop them from speaking further. No explanation can overpower his growing resentment. If break-up comes up out of a blue, Koito remains silent, listening to whatever they have to say. None of the words makes any sense to him and there is nothing he can tell or ask. Nothing makes sense. He sighs while rubbing his temples, eyes shut tight to separate from the world as much as possible, and turn down the white noise coming out of their mouth. Koito leaves without saying a word with a plan to avoid them in the next few weeks.

In the case of their death, Koito is in no hurry at breakneck speed to take revenge but that definitely doesn’t mean he is indifferent. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and even such a hothead as angered Koito is can wait for a better moment to strike.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Since Koito joined the army, celebrations turned from long-awaited days into in minor verbal congratulations aaaand that’s all. The atmosphere is just not the same. In the beginning, he tried to keep head up but general disinterest killed his vibes and left him bitter.

The only person who does not mind supporting the Second Lieutenant is Tsukishima: he gladly watches Koito happily screaming as he launches a colorful kite into the air, joins playing hanetsuki and sugoroku on Japanese New Year, once he even gave Koito pochibukuro as a joke. Otonoshin was merry and embarrassed at the same time since, you know, pochibukuro is given to kids, not adult men who shoot people for a living.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Mysterious silent people aren’t the company Koito can tolerate. He hadn’t had a good experience with Ogata back in the 7th Division and doesn’t see himself with anyone hiding behind a duplicitous smile.

Scolding Koito for his frivolity won’t do anything good, quite the contrary, it will force him into acting withdrawn in their presence. Attempts to change Koito are pointless since action generates opposition: the more he is told to be a serious man, the more infantile he will become.

By the way, it is important for Koito to see a class in his surrounding. He himself carries an elusive aesthetic so lack of taste and sense of beauty is a bummer. Good thing they can be acquired just like other skills.

Comparison. Do not compare Koito to anyone, ever. His father probably did it a lot back in the days when talking about Heinojou’s success so Otonoshin became allergic to any “you are just like/you act like/you look like/wish you were like” comments.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

The most normal person in the 7th Division when it comes to sleeping. There’s literally nothing to describe: Koito falls asleep fast, he doesn’t have any problems with falling asleep or waking up, doesn’t use any medication, doesn’t have any evening rituals. Dreams are a rarity. Loves to sleep with someone by the side, so he can hug a person from behind with both arm and leg, and if the place next to him is cold and empty, Koito may hug a pillow or rolled blanket.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy imagine #golden kamuy headcanon #koito otonoshin #tosikowrites

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tobeornottotc · 4 years

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So much to say about all Friday shows my brain shut down it’s weird how in a day all the shows that aired from we best love to TT finale made my day and made me happy I cried. We best love is a gem that has come and taken my heart it’s everything I love in BL, it’s like reading a novel and never wanting it to end, the pinining, longing and now the angst still upcoming. My love to all the characters? Everything about the acting, music, and writing. Taiwan came back and said you haven’t forgotten why you adorE BL right? Well here’s more reasons. I’ve missed Taiwan shows for so long I used to take the history series for granted despite my love for it and now look at me. We best love is just so great and cheesy and yet done so well I’ve not have any issues with it 😭 it’s not short, I like how angsty yet sweet it gets. Just everything

Then you have to my star. Is there any moment when Korea does something that does not make me shout from the rooftops another great one!! Like are we surprised at this point. Where your eyes linger still is my favourite Korean BL and although different I get the same vibes from to my star, there’s secret pining, confusing hidden hints to maybe more than just a very happy celebrity that is clingy and flirty. Seojun seems to know he likes boys from the start or is it just me. I won’t be surprised that the reason he’s hiding that video is because the reason there was a fight was because it’ll out his sexuality, either he had something with said guy he paid money to keep quiet about or said guy knows about his sexuality and threatened to blackmail him. But it’s the subtle hints that he may know about himself and his feelings like in episode 4 how many times he leaves clues and hints he likes Jiwoo but hides it behind this clingy want to be friends persona, I think when he was drunk he let out his true feelings he’s been hiding and he outed himself on purpose. I’m probably thinking too much but there’d be a lot at stake in my opinion if someone knew he likes guys it’d be a bigger scandal that’s probably why he acts like he doesn’t know when he’s flirting or hinting he likes someone. Just me? Jiwoo is also an interesting tsundere why does he have his walls so up, he clearly also has feelings but in the trailer he’s going to harshly break Seojun’s heart? Obviously I think it’s a lie it’s noble idiocy he realised it was the way to help him not get caught in another scandal. I really need to know more about his character. And the chef who knows more than he lets on who is he speaking to about Seojun does he know the other guy in the video? Does he know why Seojun is hiding the video he seems to have picked on the chemistry of Seojun and Jiwoo more proof that person was right? Let me know what your ideas are on this show. If this show is dealing with internalised homophobia and the scandal of the media invasion and celebrity lifestyle then man it’ll be fun to rewatch this time and time again. Kisses in Korean BL shows have become a staple for revealing a lot of secrets and pushing our couples to confront the truth about what they try to rationalise when it comes to their feelings. In where your eyes linger them entering a relationship was not good for them because it’d lead to separation and more. In Mr heart the kiss was revealed and forced our marathon runner to question his priorities and feelings. And in wish you the kiss happened when Sang yi could no longer run away from what he was feeling even if it meant they couldn’t be together because of same reasons as this show I’m guessing a scandal being caused because idols and celebs dating is a bit forbidden in kmusic and kdrama industry. Loses the fans. And attracts media attention. Let’s see what To my star reveals with this kiss now Seojun isn’t hiding what he feels anymore.

Then we have 1000 stars premiere and I cried at sheer greatness I’m a clown I came into it trying hard to keep my expectations at bay but my 30 minutes in I was bawling stunned and quiet. The directing is exquisite, in depth and littered with clues and hints to the themes of the show. The focus on the flashbacks of Tiens life coated in dark light and suffocating aura compared to the light and warm atmosphere of Torfuns narration whose life seemed hard but she found peace and joy just helping people and learning about the joy of finding value in every little things she had and saw. The peace that Tien couldn’t feel because he felt stifled and empty from his own choices when he thought his life span would be short. He didn’t know the value of money, life or little things. He wasted and gambled precious things to him, acted privelaged and lost hours in a sea of acohol, cigarettes and more. His lifestyle felt wrong after he realised he was given a second chance to find meaning. There’s an overall dark theme of corruption, greed and power that’s going to me an obstacle for the characters. Torfuns demise is clearly more than just an accident with the way people are trying to push her life to the side rapidly, hide details like even selling Tiens car which I have a feeling is what took her life (not him but he bet it in a race before he fainted) or clues that Phupha isn’t going to be done trying to figure out what happened to her it’s foreshadowing this isn’t over yet. We also have another villain who fled during the forest ranger fights at the beginning, he’s definitely coming back I wonder what these criminals want and how much danger Pha will have to deal with with this boss and his other hooligans. Why are they in the forest and what do the rangers have to protect? Lastly our couple met and you can’t tell me that Pha isn’t smitten he is struck with love at first sight immediately he meets Tien but he hides it through his stern cover and he finds it funny to bicker and tease him. He also thinks Tien is too delicate, rich and shallow to stay to help the kids, so he’ll struggle with liking Tiens determination and drive to feeling angry at how much value of life and money he takes for granted but it’s a learning arc something Tien will grow learning and transforming from. Their bickering is cute, both are intrigued by each other already Tien because Pha is connected to Torfun’s wishes and hopes, but also he saw him in the weird fantasy dream thing. He’s intrigued by his stern cover vs why people seem to think he’s sweet and kind. And he’s irked by the guy who keeps getting under his skin and calling him out. It’s going to be fun to see his own reactions and feelings develop slowly and his doubt that it’s his and it’s Torfun’s heart acting up. That conflict will be so interesting to explore and knowing Backaof we’ll get a deeper conversation about sexuality, spirituality and more. All his shows even his fantasies have these deep reflections and conversations about feelings and life of someone struggling with what their sexuality is to them. Even when fantasy he never fails to include those scenes. But also there’s always a massive plot twist hidden in the story that could tear our characters apart, and it’s connected to our girls demise 🥺 i have so much more to say about this show. But for now just know I’m obsessed in awe and excited for this journey. It’ll be emotional a roller coaster of emotions and lessons, but also a love story I can’t wait to see unfold

Lastly TT finale. It’s precious to say TharnType will always have a place in my heart, marked into it as my favourite couple. Their love is so incredible, everlasting and theirs, their journey to each other has never been easy and yet their love is constant, precious and real. They make me smile and want to cry because I still can’t process we’ve come to the end. Boy was it a good way to say goodbye. I will miss this show, the annoyances, problems and also the good moments. I will miss my LeoFiat dramatic souls, their angst and their own journey to each other. Glad to seeFiat finally got to define the relationship he’s been hoping and waiting for. And Leo finally got to show Fiat how much he’s cared. Question why didn’t I get a kiss scene from them? Forever staying petty about that. Champ and Khun did what they were meant to do, their own relationship was also adorable and I just wish it wasn’t only the last episode we had to deal with their confession and realisation that there’s been something here all along. Champs cute though his nativity and dumbness was real and pure but I like how he understood what he was feeling and why he wanted Khun by his side and more. So well done to them getting together. We had Tharn finally Wade his way into Type’s fathers acceptance I wish he wasn’t just a comedic role but we had more conversations serious ones about him learning to accept Tharn still it was wholesome he grew to finally let them be together he understood Type was never going to leave Tharn and was at his best with him. Love the Kirigun family and how much they push Tharn to be his best. Their support was earnest and I loved we saw Thorn get married like a full circle after he proposed and found his own love story. We Stan a very protective supportive older brother who has always been a source of help during TT relationship. Techno irked me in this series and he became one of my least fave characters his snooping whilst cute just didn’t mesh well with me and I kept wondering where his man was because he acted like someone who wasn’t satisfied in the relationship he was in. Just an annoying presence overall. Sorry not sorry. That being said I didn’t hate this sequel and I know rewatching it as second part to TT journey watching 24 episodes of TT back to back will be an emotional experience and will show you all the clues, meta, subtext and overall plot of these two in a better light. Overall TT is always going to be a fave show of mine, and the sequel whilst not fulfilling all my expectations it made me still feel like it was worth my attention and care. Thank you to the cast, crew and production for this. My Fridays will never be the same we’re really now in 2021 with these new shows 😭 just manner of d@earth to go. 😭

Friday shows bringing me joy, excitement and most of all new lessons and new ideas. I’m so excited and I loved that these are the shows we have in January. Let’s hope they keep being great and our Fridays stay exciting and warm 👌

#we best love #to my star #1000stars #tharntype #Thai bl #bl series #bl drama #Korean bl #reviews #analysis #no 1 for you

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huntertales · 6 years

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Part Three: I Want A Happy Ending With You. (Trial and Error S08E14)

Episode Summary: After months of work, Kevin deciphers the demon tablet on how to close the gates of Hell. Sam, Dean and the reader learn in order to do so one must face three series of trails designed by God. The first one—kill a hound of Hell. Sam and Dean argue on who is to complete the trials. The reader wants in, too. Despite her vulnerable condition. When Sam learns about her desire, he gives her an ultimatum: stay out of the way. Or he’ll come clean to his brother about their shared secret. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader. Warning: Angst. (This took a bit of a dark turn…) Word Count: 7,245.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

If you had a choice between running for your life from a hell hound and spending the rest of the evening with the Cassity’s, you would choose the hell hound without a single second of doubt. Never in your life had you met such a toxic and dysfunctional family. And you thoughts the brothers were bad when they went it. All those arguments and disagreements over the years seemed like a walk in the park compared to what you heard the family try and tear one another town every chance they got. Noah and Cindy were the worst offenders. The more they drank, the less subtle they were about their hatred for one another.

You watched as their wine glasses never went half empty through the evening, making you wish you could have a bottle for yourself just to get through this night without snapping at someone. This was only the very beginning of the challenge you were about to face tonight. If you somehow could survive a night with the Beverly Hillbillies, maybe facing against a hell hound wasn't going to be so bad. Much as your patience was wearing thin from your unclassy guests, the rest of the evening continued on smoothly when it came to keeping up with your disguises.

Sam was a second pair of helping hands to Ellie, clearing dishes and pouring drinks for the family when it got too low for their standards. If you had to trade places with the younger Winchester, there was no doubt in your mind you would end up “accidentally” missing their wine glass when they asked for a refill. You tried to ask a question here and there to keep up the illusion that you were here for a supposed interview, but every time you tried to talk you were drowned out by Cindy’s obnoxious voice.

Dinner time was decent enough for the most part, minus the lingering smell of cooking steaks on the grill from outside that Dean was preparing. You ate around the main course, choosing to nibble on the side dishes and pushing away the bloody piece of steak that you could only pretend to eat a piece of before spitting it out in your napkin. The baby refused to let you enjoy anything that was from a dead animal. Sometimes you wondered if this was really Dean’s child you were carrying.

Margot pecked at her food and moved around a few things with her fork while her oldest sister Alice was rather silent tonight, caught up with her own personal thoughts of the past twenty-four hours. And how much it wasn’t effecting her like how it should have been. Almost all of the conversation was coming from Cindy and her father, which only consisted of even more petty jabs that made you want to roll your eyes in annoyance. Every once in a while Noah would look in your direction and give you a smile that was his attempt at flirting.

Sam had the patience of a saint and had one of the strongest poker faces you’ve ever seen from having to wait on everyone hand and foot, yourself included. He made sure to clear dishes when he noticed they were done and made an extra effort that no one’s wine glass was the slightest bit empty. Sam topped off Cindy’s glass for the third time in the past half an hour until it was full as the rest of everyone else. However she didn’t think it was enough, waving her index finger at him to keep it coming. He poured out a little more...only to find out the bottle was empty.

Cindy scoffed to herself at the terrible service and waved Sam off like he was suddenly bothering her. You felt yourself becoming irked at how she was treating the younger man with no respect whatsoever, causing you to stare at her with a dirty glare at how trashy she was being. It seemed your lingering stare didn’t go unnoticed by her. When she looked in your direction, your attitude was hidden behind a smile, causing her to roll her eyes and attend back to the company of her wine glass.

"Al, I'm so sorry about Carl." Margot spoke up with an actual conversation topic that wasn’t an attempt at trying to tear one of their family members down. She gave her older sister a sympathetic half smile at the pain she thought the woman was going through. "I mean, he was the love of your life."

Alice furrowed her brow slightly at the mention of her husband of ten years. Someone she didn't remember loving much as people said she did, who she should have been in mourning. But for some reason she couldn't quite get herself to do. No matter how hard she tried. “Right.”

“Please,” Their father threw his cloth napkin to the table at the mention of Carl. It seemed Noah, the man who was on his fifth wife, that was old enough to be his granddaughter, had something to say about Alice's choice in partners that he always disapproved of. “She can do better.”

“Maybe Alice should marry a child—take after her father.” Cindy suggested a brilliant idea that she knew her father would surely agree to. She was leaning back in her seat with an arm resting on the back of the chair, her other hand holding her wine glass that was ready to be downed in the matter of only a few sips. Noah rolled his eyes at his daughter’s rude remarks against his blushing bride, defending his wife saying that she wasn't a child. Cindy begged to differ. "Right. She's a prostitute who looks like a child.”

“Are you done?” Margot asked in a sharp tone of voice. She was steadily growing annoyed with her family's explicit and rude behavior that wasn’t fit for the reason why they were all gathered here today. “Alice is in mourning. And we have guests.”

"Oh, I'm sorry, Margie. I didn't see you there—you're too far up on your high horse." Cindy said. Margot adjusted herself in her seat, trying not to become visibly upset at her sister's behavior, Cindy giggled at how easy the kid could be effected. You handed off your half eaten dinner to Ellie and got ready to thank her, but you found your attention lingering over to Cindy at what she mentioned next. "Oh, yes, but you are right—we should all take a minute to say a few words about Carl. For that fancy little article you're doing. You first, Margie. Was he a good lay?"

Every family had their dirty laundry that was eventually going to come out in the open. You had to sit back and watch this trainwreck unfold right in front of your eyes. Alice sounded surprised at what she was hearing, Margot suddenly appeared like a deer in headlights. Cindy couldn’t tell the story fast enough. “Oh, you didn’t know? Yeah, Daddy caught ‘em going at in the barn.”

Alice looked over at her younger sister that sat across from her at the table. A look of pain and disbelief crossed her expression at what she was hearing. "Al, it was before you two got together.” Margot tried to explain herself, growing guilty at the truth she never wanted to come out. Especially at a time like this. “I mean, Carl—he loved you.”

"Yeah, that was back when Margie was fat and Cin was sober," Noah seemed to have all the money in the world, but not enough to buy him some class. And any sort of respect his children enough to talk about them in a decent light. "A long time ago."

"Get cancer and die, old man." Cindy told the old man, titling her drink at him.

"You first, sweetie." Noah replied back.

Sam walked past you with each hand full of dinner plates with food nobody had touched much of, too busy drinking and tearing one another down to enjoy the food Dean made. You reached out a hand and grabbed him by the wrist, making him stop and look down at you, wondering if something was wrong. There very much was. And there was only one solution to your problem to make it better. "I need a drink. Now."

"Well," Alice sat back in her seat and got herself more comfortable, a smile spreading across her lips at the sight of her family under one roof. All though the conversation and atmosphere might have been unpleasant, the woman wanted to see the silver lining of the situation. "I can't remember the last time we all sat down and had a meal together."

“It was back at the old, crappy house,” Cindy remembered, a faint smile stretching across her lips at the more simpler time in her life. “when Daddy invited that traveling salesman to dinner.”

Margot smiled at the found memory from what felt like a lifetime ago. "Oh, him."

“He was so charming.” Alice mummered, her lips stretching to a smile of her own.

“Yeah,” Cindy agreed. “English.”

"What was his name—Kenny?" Noah asked, trying to remember the fellow. "Crow—"

“Crowl—”

The family worked together in trying to put a name to a face, muttering half attempts underneath their breath as they rattled their brains to remember. Sam popped open another bottle of wine and was heading over to fill up everyone’s glasses while you took a sip of your water. But it seemed that was a mistake from the name that you heard slip out from everyone's mouth at the same time when they got it correct after a few more tries. The name you grew to despise at the mere thought of. Someone who you had met years back on mere chance of the same reason after you attempted to sell your own soul to him; Crowley.

Once the king of the crossroads, now known as the king of Hell. You choked on your drink when you heard a series of Crowley's name spoken up while Sam stopped dead in his tracks. While you got a few stares at your unexpected outburst, you managed to compose yourself long enough to excuse yourself from the table and to the bathroom, knowing that wasn't anywhere near where you were headed. You and Sam snuck outside to the backyard where you met up with Dean to discuss what you learned about inside that was actually useful. And it seemed the older Winchester was surprised a you were from what the both of you discovered.

“Crowley?” Dean repeated the name.

“That’s what they said.” Sam said. No matter what you and the boys did, the demon always seemed to be tied into a mess of yours one way or another. “Apparently, he swung through town ten years ago, to the day.”

“So, what,” Dean asked, trying to somehow make sense of what happened to the family over a decade ago. “do you think tea and crumpets made these deals and now he’s collecting?”

"Or he just sent his dog—told it to go fetch.” You shrugged your shoulders, taking a wild guess at what the demon decided to do what he felt was fit. Crowley wasn’t the type of person who got his hands dirty when it came to deals he made before his big promotion. only when it benefited him. “He's the king of hell. Grabbing a few souls—that's got to be below his pay grade."

"I guess.” Dean said. “Any idea who signed the dotted line?"

“Not a single clue. The only thing I can get out of them is stories that prove of how terrible they are. If Cindy wasn’t the one who sold her soul, I’ll gladly kill her myself.” You said. Looking back at the house, you dreaded the thought of having to go back in there and play nice with the family that was driving you up the wall. “God, it’s brutal in there.”

The sound of Dean’s phone going off made you shift focus for a moment when he pulled it out from his pocket and answered it after seeing it was the prophet himself calling with something important. “Hey, Kevin, what’s up?”

“Hey, Dean, good news, uh, I think...kind of.” Kevin sounded rather positive and the slightest bit hesitant from what he was about to share with you and the boys, as if he wasn't sure it might be translated properly. Dean rolled his eyes, telling the kid not to over sell it. "Sorry. I found something on the tablet, about hell hounds. Uh, this mean anything to you—'the dire creatures may seen only by the damned or through an object scorched with holy fire'?"

“Like with holy oil?” Sam asked.

“It’s got to be.” Dean said. “We could use a window.”

"Or glasses." Kevin suggested an even better idea.

"I think we've still got some Jesus juice left in the trunk. All right, I'll take care of the x-ray specs. You and Y/N stay here.” Dean said. “Do not let J.R. and the gang out of your sight, all right?"

"Right." Sam agreed. "Hey, Kevin, you did great, man. Get some sleep.”

You heard Kevin attempt to thank the younger man at the kind behavior from how much stress he was putting himself through, but he was cut off in mid-sentence when Dean ended the call. You gave the man a look, but there was no time to be wasted on a conversation when there was a hell coming to dinner. You and Sam headed back inside the house while Dean made his way to look around the property to see if he could find anything to prove what Kevin found. After making your way to the bathroom and coming out a few short seconds later, you made your way back to your seat, pretending like everything was normal.

Sam grabbed the open bottle of wine he set down on the counter just a few minutes ago and made his rounds across the table. You noticed that there was a few people missing, Alice and Cindy remained where they were after you left. You didn't think much of Noah and Margot's absence, presuming the youngest wandered away from the table to be by herself and her father was doing something that you really didn't want to know. But it seemed the two of them wanted to go for a father-daughter night stroll, armed.

“Oh, look. Daddy’s drunk and armed.” Cindy said. You furrowed your brow slightly from what she was talking about, knowing her father was nowhere to be seen in the house. When you followed your gaze to the window that overlooked the front yard, you felt a curse word slip out from your mouth at what you were seeing. Cindy thought it was hilarious. "It must be Christmas."

You didn't even bother trying to make up an excuse when you jumped out of your chair and made your way outside, ignoring the fact that it was late in February and it was freezing outside. Sam followed right behind on your heels, not wanting you anywhere near a drunk man with a shotgun. A hell hound might not kill you tonight, but a hick looking for something to shoot might do the trick. Sam's legs might have been longer than yours, but you beat him by just a few seconds, calling out for the attention of Noah and Margot before they did something stupid out there that would only get them killed and scare off the hound you intended to kill.

"Hey!" You called out to the two Cassity's that were about to seal their fate to a demon they had no clue was about to screw them over, a plan that was ten years in the making. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Wherever I damn well please." Noah said. You had to maintain a brisk walk in order to keep up with them. Sam finally caught up with you to finally try and stop this mess from happening. “The wolf that killed my son-in-law—he's a man-eater, got to be put down."

“Doing this for Carl.” Margot added to prove their point.

"Oky, just—just hold on a second." Sam said, trying to do anything that he could to get them to at least slow down before they went into the woods with nothing more than a couple of shotguns and a pistol that was only going to piss off the beast they were going to go up against. Noah shook his head, wanting to do this right now. All though he knew this was going to be a bad idea, Sam stooped to their low, offering an extra set of hands. "I'll come with you."

That was enough for everyone to stop in their tracks, yourself included. You knew it would be suicide if he went out there with a blind eye, no chance of going up against the hound without at least testing Kevin's theory. But if he let Noah and Margot slip away and get ripped to pieces, the hound might take what its owner wanted and retreat back to hell. It was a lose/lose situation no matter how you looked at it. And much as you would let them walk off to their own fate any other day of the week, they got lucky, because tonight you needed to kill that hell hound.

"You know anything about hunting, boy?" Noah asked.

“A little bit, yeah.” Sam admitted.

Noah stared at the man for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly, as if he was thinking about what his answer was going to be. Sam was a tall and well built man, someone who didn't seem like the type who would be scared off easily. He looked over at his youngest daughter and nodded his head, making her hand over the shotgun to Sam, leaving her with a lousy pistol that you knew wasn’t going to save her life if they found the thing they were looking for.

When you saw Noah and Margot start to make their way into the woods and Sam following behind, something in you suddenly froze over with fear. You quickly reached out and grabbed the younger Winchester by his arm, making him stay behind for just a few seconds longer.

"Wait. Maybe this isn't a good idea." You whispered. You felt your eyes lingering on the shadowy figures of the Cassitys that were getting closer and closer to the woods. Part of you wanted to get the hell out of here and let them suffer their own fate. And another wanted you to get Sam out of danger, in fear he was going to get himself killed. "Maybe I should go get—"

“What you need to do is go back to the house.” Sam cut you off, not wanting to hear any sort of idea your brain was scheming up. He was at his breaking point with you and the crap you've been pulling over the past day and a half since arriving here, poking your nose in things where it didn't belong. You opened your mouth to try and finish what you were going to say, didn’t even let you get out a breath. "No, Y/N. You've already caused enough trouble. Get back to the house. Keep an eye on Alice and Cindy. If Dean wants to know where I am, tell him I'm looking out for the rest of them. Got it?"

It was now or never to do the right thing that Sam had been trying to drill into your brain, not only for the sake of yourself, but for the trials. You knew he was only trying to help and protect you. When you nodded your head and began backing away slowly, giving him a sense of relief at how you were finally coming to your senses, all of it was for you to buy some time. There was no way you were letting him slip out into those woods and put himself in danger like that.

Kevin mentioned something about how the damned could see hell hounds—demons, mostly. Maybe God didn't have enough room to mention that people made out of deals and once was one of those black eyed monsters, who was created by Lucifer himself, could also still see those beasts. When you were a half-demon, you could see the hounds for what they were.. All though you were human like the rest of these people on the farm, it was worth a shot to see if you still had a little bit left in you. The Devil was in the details. But if you were wrong about this…

No. This wasn't the time for you to become distracted by the worst case scenarios that might end in death. The possibilities of things going sour because you stuck your neck out and tried to save the day. Because that wasn’t going to happen. You made your way back to the house, but you made a beeline for your car, knowing you brought your own kind of backup for tonight. You went to the trunk and pulled out a shotgun of your own, instead it being filled with bullets, you chose rock salt instead. It might not wound a hound, but it’d hurt like a bitch that it was.

You made your way to the woods where you knew the rest of the family was and the hound would surely be on the prowl, stalking its victims, waiting for the right time to make its move. You were going to take the shortcut through the barn to sneak your way without Sam seeing you. Right as you were about to sneak your way through, you found yourself stumbling upon a sight that made you stop dead in your tracks, and feeling a hot rage you’ve never quite had before.

You saw Dean talking to who could only be Ellie by the sound of her echoing voice, and from how the conversation was going, it seemed she was trying to seduce your boyfriend into her bed for the night. You felt your grip around the shotgun tighten at how blunt she was being with him. Your mind momentary was struck with the thought that you had a clear shot to her back if you really wanted to take it. All though rock salt might not kill her, you knew it'd knock the wind out of her. And get the three of you thrown out of here so fast it’d make your head spin.

You wouldn't call yourself a jealous person. There were plenty of times women shamelessly try to flirt and bat their eyes at Dean, you couldn't blame them for at least trying to get his attention. The man had a charming personality with rugged and handsome looks to match. There was just something about him that others wanted to know more about. It was part of the reason why you were so attracted to him for so many years before you and him got together. All though you knew him for long as you could remember, there was still so much more that he wouldn't share. But you knew enough that he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship for a quick hookup with a young, pretty face.

All though Dean always had a soft spot for frisky women who liked to play the field much as he did, and while he couldn’t deny Ellie was attractive, she wasn’t worth it. She wasn’t you. It never crossed his mind that he wanted this. His brain kept telling him to run, to get out of here before she could kiss him like she was trying to. Maybe if things were different, if they met when he was younger, he’d take the chance to show her a good time. But he couldn’t do that. He slowly pushed the woman away, nervously chuckling to himself at how awkward this was going to end.

"Look, Ellie...much as I admire your confidence, I can't do this." Dean told the woman. "I've got a girl back home."

“I thought you were a drifter.” Ellie said. “Somebody who doesn’t like strings attached.”

“If you asked me last year, I'd definitely say yes. I mean, I was the person who didn’t like to be in the same place for a long time. But...I realized that settling down isn't so bad. I like being with the same person. She knows who I am. Bad crap and all. And she's still with me. I want to settle down with her. We just go this...amazing place. I'm only here because I want to give her the life she deserves." Dean found himself rambling on about something that Ellie had no clue what he was talking about. But he did. Dean took a small step back from the woman to try and put some distance between them. "I love her enough to know that even having this conversation with you makes me feel all sorts of wrong." "Forget about her. Who says she'll ever find out? This could be our little secret we take to the grave." Ellie tried a little more to persuade the man. Dean, once again, pushed her away when she attempted to lean forward into his personal space. "She means enough to you that you'd turn down a night with a stranger?" "Yes. Because I love her very, very much. She has been through enough crap with me over the past year alone to know that I can’t hurt her. Just..." Dean let out a sigh, throwing his hands up at a last ditch effort to get himself out of this situation before it could grow worse. "When you meet someone you fall in love with and a strange guy wants to have a quickie, you'll understand what I'm trying to say. You're still young, Ellie. You have your whole life ahead of you."

The expression on Ellie's face faltered slightly at the last thing Dean mentioned. He watched her grow silent for a moment as she began taking a few steps back from him, suddenly wanting to get away from him. "This is a one night opportunity. Take it or leave it."

Dean watched as Ellie took a few more steps back before she turned around, heading back to her cabin to enjoy the rest of her lonely night. He found himself trying to wrap my head around what the hell just happened. Ellie had made a few subtle remarks here and there that Dean thought was just shameless flirtation on her part, he didn't react much on it. But he found himself lingering on her bold behavior that for some reason that felt out of character for her. She love her job and the farm she worked on, sleeping with some drifter she knew nothing about didn't seem like a move she'd pull. Unless she was living like tonight was her last night on Earth. Sort of like how he remembered you acted just a mere hour before your demon deal was about to wrap up. You kissed him, because you thought you were going to die that night. And you intended to make sure your feelings for the man were known before you were torn apart by the hell hound looking for you.

You had every intention of going into those woods and finding the hell hound to try and pick a fight with it, but you found yourself realizing it wasn't going to be that easy. The sound of a piercing scream echoed through the night air, traveling from the dark woods that Sam was lurking around in with two of the Cassity's just a few minutes ago. From the sound of the high pitched scream, you knew it was only going to be one coming out of there. Margot was the first victim tonight of the hound, and if you weren’t fast enough, there was going to be more.

You and the boys headed back to the house after Sam dragged Noah back to safety and scared off the hell hound for a little while. The news of the youngest Cassity's death caused Alice and Cindy to become shocked, all though they weren't all that close, the death of a loved one always hurt. You didn't have much time for them to grieve about their little sister, because if you didn't put this place on lock down, anyone who sold their soul to their traveling salesman ten years ago was going to suffer the same fate as Margot. After being torn apart by a hell hound yourself, you knew it wasn’t a pleasant death you wouldn’t wish on anyone.

“What was that thing?” Noah demanded to know.

“It was a hell hound. See, when you sell your soul to a demon, they're the ones that come and rip it out of you.” Dean explained to the man. Alice didn't seem to understand how she came in contact with a demon. Most people thought of the hell spawn as evil creatures with pointy horns and ugly faces. But they looked like regular people; smooth-talking, charming salesman looking for a few idiots to sign their soul over. "Crowley. Poncy guy, about yea big, mountain of dicks. We know he was here ten years ago, making dreams come true. Now, if you didn't sign, great. That freak out there won't touch you. But if you did, I need to know, and I need to know now. So, hands up.”

“So, wait. The british guy was a demon, and how there’s a hell hound after us?” Noah tried wrapping his head around all the foolish talk he was hearing from three people that he had met only earlier today. You nodded your head, already growing impatiens from the lack of trust he was giving you. You knew damn well he saw his own daughter get her throat ripped out by an invisible force, but he was still choosing to believe you were the crazy one. "Are you insane?"

“They’re obviously insane.” Cindy said. You rolled your eyes in frustration at the mere sound of her voice, wanting nothing more than to tell her to shut up if she knew what was good for her. All night she had been driving you up the wall, and much as you wanted to see her get what was coming to her, you needed her as bait.

“Don’t play dumb.” Sam warned the younger woman.

“Yeah. I’m not playing dumb.” She said. “I didn’t sell my damn soul.”

"Well, I could've guessed that from the life you've lived over the past decade. All you turned out to be a one-hit wonder with a drinking problem. Or you're just too stupid to be specific about what you wanted." You snapped at her, getting her to shut up. "Somebody here did. And sooner that idiot owns up, the sooner the rest of you can go.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and waited for someone to be a decent human being here and spare their family the danger that was about to unfold. But it seemed none of them had enough pride to swallow to confess the sins they made. Maybe Noah didn't want to admit he kissed a man to get his family's fortunes and save his children. Cindy had too much arrogance to admit she accidentally screwed up her wish for fortune and fame. Dean seemed to have gotten his answer, deciding to go with Plan B after everyone clammed up. "All right, seal 'em in."

"Look, I'm gonna spread goofer dust around the woods, the windows. That will keep the hell hound out...for a while." Sam told the family what he was going to do in order to keep them a chance to see tomorrow. All if it sounded like gibberish nonsense that didn't make sense.

“What is that—how long?” Noah questioned all of you.

“Long enough for me to stab it in its throat.” Dean explained to the man. Noah sighed and began shaking his head, mumbling underneath his breath that none of you could do this. Now wasn't the time to hear any sort of protest. Dean didn't hesitate a single second to pull out his loaded pistol and pointed it at the man to make him complacent. "Yes, I can. You want to know why? Because it's what I do. And, buddy, I'm the best. See, I gut old Yeller out there, and maybe—just maybe—you walk away. I don't—you're meat. So, sit down, shut up...and put these on."

The easy part of this was getting everyone to cooperate when you grabbed the first set of cuffs from Dean and secured everyone to a heavy piece of furniture so they wouldn't do anything stupid to themselves or others. Sam made sure to cover every doorway and window with goofer dust, keeping out the beast that was surely getting antsy. When you cuffed Alice to a table, she had been the most cooperative out of her family, but she still had her own fears about what was going on.

“I don’t understand…” She said. “Who are you people?”

"We're here to help." You reassured her.

"Like you helped Margie?" Noah's question made you chuckle slightly from how he was trying to pin his daughter's death on you, like it was your fault he dragged her out into those woods and make the beast who killed his son-in-law pissed off. She got what was coming to her.

"Listen up, when the hell hound gets close, you might start seeing things, hearing things. It's gonna feel like you took the brown acid, and it's trying to kill you.The handcuffs are so you won't hurt yourselves.” You explained to them, warning the poor schmuck whose life was about to get a lot worse in the matter of a short time. “As for someone who went down this path once before, it ain't gonna be pretty."

“And when one of you starts bugging out,” Dean added, “we’ll know who’s on tap to be puppy chow.”

Secrets like this always were brought out in the open, no matter how hard someone could try to bury them. You gave the family a warning glare to stop them from doing anything stupid. This was the moment of truth from what you've been waiting to accomplish for months now. You inhaled a deep breath when you began walking away, turning your back to the group as you subconsciously ran a hand over your stomach, suddenly coming to the realization what you had signed yourself up for. There was a hell hound circling around outside. Every time you had come in contact with one things never ended well. But you were determined to break that streak.

You headed over to Dean when you noticed he was finishing up another doorway to make sure all of you had at least a safe spot to protect yourself from the beast outside. “So…” You brought your voice only up to a whisper, glancing back at the group to make sure things were still going smoothly. “What’s our play?”

"Well, you and Sammy camp here, figure out who whored their soul. I'm gonna go scout the grounds—see if I can't gank Huckleberry hound before he makes his next move." Dean said. It seemed from the sounds of it that he was already a few steps ahead of you. You scoffed at what you were hearing, quickly following behind the man and stepping over the line of goofer dust.

Sam overheard the conversation you and his brother were having, it came as no surprise when he joined the both of you, voicing his opinion on the older man’s plan “Wait, you’re not going out there alone, Dean. I’m gonna come with you.” Sam said. Dean didn’t think so, he shot down the man’s idea. But that wasn’t going to stop his little brother. “Uh, they’re on lockdown, and you need backup. Y/N can keep an eye out on them.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

"No, I need the both of you to be safe, okay?" Dean said. "That's what I need."

“What? When am I—when are

ever safe?” You didn't know why you let those words slip out from your mouth, considering the state you were in, but it was the truth. Every single time you stepped out into the world there was a chance your life was going to be cut short. But here you were, after everything you went through, you were fine. And you were ready to stick your neck out just a little more to make sure things went the way you wanted. But it seemed that Dean didn't want to risk that chance on you or his little brother.

"This is different." Dean said. You raised your brow slightly, wondering what he could have possibly meant by that. "Because of the three trials crap—God's little obstacle course. We've been down roads like this before—with Yellow Eyes, Lucifer, Dick friggin' Roman. We both know where this ends—one of us dies...or worse."

"So, what—you just up and decide it's gonna be you?" Sam asked his brother.

"I'm a grunt, Sam. You and Y/N aren't. You've always been the brains of this operation. And you always pulled our asses out of the fire. It's time to change that." Dean said. You felt your face scrunch up from the way that he was talking. No matter how many times you went through this, he only thought there was one ending to this situation. Sam tried his hardest to talk some sense into his brother, but the man didn't want to hear it. "You told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But let me tell you what I do know—it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me—that's all I have waiting for me."

You stared at him with disbelief at what you were hearing come out of his mouth. And it seemed that Dean didn’t want to say it himself from the guilty expression that crossed his face, but it was the truth that needed to be said. "I want the both of you to get out. I want you to have a life—become a Man of Letters, whatever. You, Sammy, with a wife and kids, and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra—that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get."

“What about me? Where do I fit into your ‘perfect ending’?” You questioned the man. You stared at him with a face full of pain and frustration from how he was acting. The selfish and blind man who only knew one way out of this situation. "Why does this always have to end up with one of us dying? Aren’t you sick and tired out of that outcome? And don't you dare tell me that's how it's gotta be. This is different than any other crap show we've went up against."

"You're right." Dean agreed with you on that point, but not in the way you were trying to make him understand. "There's a chance I can actually put a stop to all of this once and for all."

“You’re not a ‘grunt’, you’re not a person on a suicide mission because you have nothing left to live for. You are so much more than that. You are a hero. You are the man I love. And you know what the most important thing you’re going to be? A father.” You felt the words slip out of your mouth before you could stop them, the ones that you had spent weeks agonizing over. Trying to figure out how you were going to get him to tell him the news. The secret that Sam threatened to expose if you came here. But it seemed you did that yourself. And it felt...good.

You slipped a hand into the back pocket of your jeans, pulling out a glossy photograph that you had been carrying around with you the day since you got it a week or so back. You shoved it into Dean’s chest, making him grab onto it. “You said yourself that you wanted to give me the life I deserve. I want what you want for Sam. I want us to have a family...” You trailed off, watching as Dean forced himself to look at the picture you showed him. It was of his unborn child, the one that you were carrying at this very moment. “And we’re going to have one.”

Dean found himself staring at the ultrasound picture for longer than you anticipated. You bit the inside of your cheek and waited for any kind of word to slip out from his mouth, a light to go off his head. But all you could see was sadness creeping into his face, the unexpected twist in a story that wasn't going to be his wake up call. It was going to be the final push off the edge. You felt that familiar sense of dread, the heaviness in your chest creeping back. This was exactly what you feared, what your nightmares taunted you with when you couldn't sleep at night. You fought every instinct inside of you not to start crying.

"I'm gonna go do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone—end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If a landshark comes knocking, you call me." Dean told you and his brother exactly how it was going to be. "If you try to follow me, Y/N, I will not hesitate a second in cuffing you with the rest of them. And Sammy...keep your eyes on her like your life depends on it. And it does. I will put a damn bullet in your leg if you even take your eyes off of her for a second.”

You had thought of every worse case scenario that could happen when you told the news about him becoming a father. Most of them ended with him walking out on you sort of in the same way he did for Lisa. Because he was scared of making the same mistakes like he had with the Braden family. What you saw unfold was more heartbreaking than anything your mind could make up. In all those scenarios he tried to make an effort to make the pain hurt a little less. But he wasn't even trying. His brain wouldn’t even consider the possibility that doing the trials wasn't worth it. Because was trying to make you hate him.

"Dean Winchester, don’t you dare walk out that door. Don’t you dare do this to me…” You tried everything in your power to make him stay, but not even the tone of your voice could reach him. You watched as he began to make his way to the door. You could see the ultrasound picture still in his hand, nestle in there as some kind of reminder for what he had to do. You could try all you want to get his attention, but there was no point. He was a lost cause. You heard the door open, and then just a few seconds later, close shut.

[Next Part]

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