#they really served me this feast to deal with his injury again

[pyotrkochetkov]

BET ON OURS | Andrei Svechnikov

[intoomanyfandomstocount]

Bro there’s something so precious about Malleus and Yuu’s friendship that I think I can finally put into words now. (And it’s not just me projecting I swear hear me out.)

Almost every single interaction Yuu/Mc has with Malleus, has been when Yuu was vulnerable in some way. (At the time I’m writing this, episode 5 has been out for a while.) ep 5 spoilers!! (And the other chapters lol)

So their first meeting. In episode 2. Yuu just spent the day searching for the culprit behind the injuries to no avail. Not only that, they and their buddies got their asses handed to them I. Magift. They take a breather outside, feeling tired from the long day. They’re even pondering about whether or not they’ll be getting home. (It’s one of the dialogue options.)

And then boom, Malleus appears. He doesn’t do anything Expect be like, “crap my abandoned building’s no longer abandoned :(” but he does manage to distract Yuu from their thoughts, albeit unintentionally. Still, it was a strange encounter, which leaves Yuu curious for more.

Despite Ramshackle dorm technically no longer being abandoned, Malleus still visits it again in episode 3. Here, Yuu is even more vulnerable. They are completely alone, worried that they might become homeless because of their deal with Azul. Malleus appears. Yuu calls him by his strange nickname and Malleus laughs. Never expecting anyone to call him that. He asks Yuu what’s wrong. Yuu explains and he listens.

Malleus is worried, although I feel at this point is mainly more because he likes his abandoned buildings. He talks about gargoyles with Yuu. He originally didn’t have any other intentions other than he just liked talking about them. However, once again he managed to distract Yuu from falling to deep into their negative thoughts and unintentionally gave them advice.

After they get the dorm back, Yuu thanks Malleus for the advice, and Malleus is surprised because he never intended it to be advice. He’s surprised this little human managed to outsmart Azul, and is also surprised that he was helpful to them. I think this was the moment that Malleus started to see Yuu as his friend.

At the end of episode 4, he gives us a holiday card. Yuu isn’t vulnerable in this situation, however this was the only gift that they received over the holidays. (Unless you count crowleys feast). He signed the card M.D. He wants to get closer to Yuu, little by little. A part of him probably likes the secrecy of someone not even knowing who his true identity is. But he also wants to be closer with them.

And then episode 5, some of the best malleus x Yuu content we have rn. First off, again with the Malleus appears right when Yuu is about to spiral into negative/confusing thoughts. Before, Yuu was in their room, thinking about Mickey and the mirror. Maybe not negative, but certainly vulnerable to me. They look out the window and see small green lights that looks like fireflies. And they know. They simply know who it is and their first reaction is to go outside to see him.

At this point, Yuu and Malleus see each other as friends. Their presence is enough to cheer the other up (ik its hard to know yuus emotions but do you go out to see someone you hate in the cold of night? No) Malleus smiles when he sees Yuu. Yuu then gives Malleus the VDC ticket and asks if he would go with them.

This moment is huge. Mainly for Malleus. Yuu is one of the very few, if not only people who don’t treat him any different because of his title as prince. And even so, they’re probably the only person Malleus and consider an equal. He has Silver, Sebek and Lilia, and he definitely cares about them. By those relationships have a power dynamic of sorts. With Silver and Sebek serving Malleus, and with Lilia being a parental figure to Malleus. Yuu and Malleus doesn’t have any power dynamic, they are both equals when they are together.

And of course, Malleus barely gets invited to events such as these because everyone’s so intimidated by him. (For good reason but still.) Not to mention that he grew up isolated (see his Birthday SSR) and has grown used to being alone. And yet here is this human, fearlessly inviting him to a concert as a friend. He even asks if they’re performing and is disappointed when he finds out that they’re just the manager. I just find that cute.

And the next day, Lilia comes to Yuu to thank them for inviting them, because of how happy Malleus was. Just...imagine Malleus arriving at the dorms late, holding the VDC ticket in his hand. Sebek probably stayed up late to wait for him and began to scold him, you know Sebek being Sebek. And Malleus just calmly apologizes and goes to his room and Sebek is confusion because Malleus usually is like “you don’t need to complain sm about me, I’m fine” (it’s hard to describe it. He’s not bratty he just wants Sebek to chill lol) but Lilia sees this and noticed the ticket in Malleus’s hand and is like “ho ho ho” like the far dad he is.

That strayed into headcanon/fic territory I’m so sorry.

Anyways, back to canon. Malleus arriving at the VDC stage after the overblot fight. Again, Yuu is vulnerable in some way. In this way, they’re most likely tired from fighting ANOTHER overblot. And then they see Malleus, who arrived two hours earlier, probably bc they really wanted to see Yuu, and they’re so happy! And we know this bc one of the dialogue options is simply “Tsunotaro!” So we know that Yuu was definitely walking up to Malleus with a smile on their face without a care in the world. (And freaking everyone else)

Malleus and Yuu seem to have this ability to rid the presence of any negativity when they’re together. Their presence is enough to sooth each other. Not to mention that even after (finally) realizing Malleus’s true identity, they’re reaction was basically, “holy crap are you serious? Ok.” They are as chill as always.

Yuu is even worried that Malleus wouldn’t want them calling him by his nickname anymore (one of the dialogue options is “am I not allowed to call you Tsunotaro anymore?” But Malleus simply smiles and says “no it’s fine.”

It’s just...the fact that Malleus was most likely worried that Yuu would change the way they acted around Malleus, and that worried just went “poof” in a matter of seconds...it’s just so pure man.

Malleus and Yuu’s relationship really feels like two inexperienced people finding solace and discovering friendship with one another and the beauty that brings. Of course Yuu doesn’t really have a backstory (as they’re mainly there for the player to insert themselves in) and they have Ace, Deuce and friends that they definitely care about. However, this world is still new to them, and their relationships with Ace, Deuce and the other characters are also growing. And with Malleus, well, he’s completely new to friendship like this, and is still learning. He may be hundreds of years old, but he’s still considered a teenager in fae years. (Species age differently, like what that droid said in The Mandolorian)

In conclusion, whether you ship it platonically or romantically or you’re like Leona and hate Malleus’s guts, I want what Malleus and Yuu have. And I am both excited and terrified for what the future brings them.

[alicemitch09writes]

lame

01.

it was supposed to be us against the world

It was just a normal Tuesday for you, the scorching sun was out, seeping whatever energy you had for today, class had just ended, and you were treading the thought of having to work later that day. But hey, girl’s gotta fend for herself, right?

Just as you arrived at the station, your phone buzzed in your pocket. Lazily taking it out, your (e/c) eyes scanned the text before shooting wide open, you instantly took off, never minding work, thoughts flying to one thing - Izuku.

For such a prestigious school, it sure had a lousy way of being indiscreet if it were located on top of a hill. Winded from the trip, barely feeling your legs, drenched completely in sweat from the trek, a hero awaited for you at the gate, giving you instructions on how to get to your location (he figured to give it straight to you, judging from your harried breathing and frazzled state alone).

Finding the clinic, you all but burst into the room, eyes easily finding curly green locks. "Izuku!"

Green eyes widened at the sight of you, taking the sight of you. "(Nickname)-!? H-How did you-"

"Are you alright?!"

Flinching at the pitch, tone, and of the overall worry painting your features, he all but gave you a sheepish look whilst rubbing the back of his head. That didn't help, but at least seeing him now in the bed was making your worries lessen.

“He’ll be fine, I’ve treated the worst of his injuries.” The small lady- hero, Recovery Girl, tells you from where she sat. “He just woke up and has made a full recovery now!”

Allowing yourself to sigh in relief, you collapsed by his bed, legs pressed against the cool tiled-floor, eyeing the green-haired boy with narrowed eyes.

"Really, Izuku, you better take better care of yourself."

A scarred hand reached out to pat your shoulder, seeping away the tiredness of practically storming all the way here. "I know, (Nickname). I'm sorry for worrying you..."

Once Recovery Girl assured you that she was to see your best friend fit, you allowed yourself to rest a while before making sure that his recovery was done. You would have loved to wait until he got better, so you can leave, but you had to report to work, even for just a bit then head home to change. Giving your best friend an apologetic look, Izuku nodded in understanding and you reluctantly complied to leave. But not without giving him a parting hug.

“Really, you have to stop giving me a heart attack,” you warned him, teasingly, earning a laugh from the green-haired boy. “I’ll be over for dinner later, okay?”

At that, his eyes brightened. “I’ll be sure to tell mom! She’ll surely be happy to have you over.”

“And I look forward to Auntie’s cooking!”

With one last wave at your best friend, a polite-grateful bow to the school nurse, you turned to the door.

Once out, however, you were face to face with the last person you wanted to see. You ignored him, bent on getting out of here. There was nothing to be said. Absolutely nothing. And it was better off that way.

“Ta-dah!”

“Uwah!!!” big green eyes – matching the shade of his wild curly locks, widened.

“What is it, what is it?” a small blond boy ran towards them excitedly, especially at the excitement at the tone of his two precious friends. “So, what is it?” he asked, head tilted in question at the object in hand.

Grinning toothily, the young girl placed it atop curly locks, flowers intertwined with each other, the green camouflaging with the boy’s locks, as though the flowers sprouted from his hair. “It’s a flower crown, silly!”

“Che, and I was excited for nothing,” the blond boy’s cheeks puffed. Carmine eyes glared at the object on his friend’s hair. “So girly…”

Miffed, the (h/c) girl’s tiny fists balled, stomping her foot. “W-Well duh, because I am a girl!”

“Yeah right!” teased the blond, scratching the underside of his nose, angering the girl as she began to growl.

“Hey, no fighting now…” the small green-haired boy called out to his friends. “…please?”

The two looked at him, then at each other before parting away, the girl’s arms crossed.

“W-Well, if Izuku says so! I’ll forgive you this time, Katsuki!”

Carmine eyes narrowed; cheeks puffed as they reddened to slowly match his eyes. “W-Whatever!”

At that, Izuku smiled, getting to his feet to grab the hands of his best friends. Smiles appearing on his other friend’s faces.

“Ah, by the way!” the (h/c) girl suddenly cried out, alarming the two boys. Heading towards the pile of flowers she was fiddling with earlier, she took something from the ground, keeping her hands behind her as she walked up to the blond boy. “N-Ne, Katsuki, g-give me your hand…”

“…what? No way!”

“Come on, just give me your hand!”

“No way, you might give me a bug!”

“No, I won’t!”

“Then you might just prank me!”

“Didn’t I say that I wouldn’t?”

“How would I know if you’re telling the truth!”

“If you just give me your hand!”

Stuck in between another argument, the green-haired boy could only laugh at their antics.

“K-Katsuki, please?”

She widened her eyes on purpose, pouting purposely to jut out her lower lip, it was all it took for the young blond to cave in. Also, she did say ‘please’.

Reluctantly, stretched out his hand watching as she happily reached for it, her hand now in his. His cheeks reddened, not that he’d say it out loud and chose to frown. “Alright, now close your eyes!” Not wanting to argue, he did as was asked, without putting up a fight. At first, he heard Izuku gasp and she quickly shushed him, almost excitedly, before he felt something slip into his ring finger. “Okay, now open!”

The first thing he saw were (eye color) orbs so big and bright – filled with excitement and joy before his eyes fell unto the object in his hand. The flowers were just as wild and vibrant as Izuku’s, except his was more but fit to wrap around his stubby fingers.

“Wow, (Nickname), it’s so pretty! You’re amazing!”

Chubby cheeks flushed at that, turning to him expectantly. “D-Do you like it?” came her quiet voice.

Silence.

Green and (hair color) heads turned to each other, sharing a look. The taller girl was about to ask again but stopped head tilting. Beside her, the green-haired boy’s mouth formed into an ‘o’, hands slapping against his freckled cheeks.

“K-Katsuki, are you turning-“

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” screamed the boy, messing his hair with his free hand before turning to the girl, a look of determination in his eyes as he pointed, using the hand with the ring flower. “W-W-When we get older, I-I’ll get you the biggest, shiniest, prettiest wedding ring, you hear me!?”

“Kacchan…”

“And Deku!” he turned to the green-haired boy, no longer irked by the flower crown. “You’re going to be my best man, got it?”

Realizing his outburst, the two friends burst into laughter, the blond’s face heating even more.

“Stop laughing at me! Deku! (Name)!”

“Auntie, you didn’t have to prepare so much!” you call out to Auntie Inko, eyes wide like saucers when you saw the meal served at the table.

Meal wasn’t even the word to put it, it was more like a feast! The Midoriya matriarch had prepared spaghetti, karaage, tempura shrimp, grilled eel, salad, and some side dishes. Basically, it was a lot of protein and carbs.

“Nonsense, (Name)-chan! It’s been a while since I last saw you,” she says kindly as you take a seat. “also, this is to celebrate Izuku’s good performance at school, so he can now rest easy for summer break.”

“Thank you so much, mom!” Izuku flusters, especially when she says it so easily in front of their guest as if you’re not used to it.

“Oh, Izuku, still that flustered momma’s boy, huh?”

“(N-Nickame)!”

Laughing, the three of you begin to dig in, exchanging stories about school, your part-time job, some funny customer Auntie Inko had to deal with earlier at the office (she was a government employee), your grandfather, and his dojo. It was always so comforting having dinners with the Midoriyas, always so warm.

Volunteering to help with the dishes, the two youngsters continued to catch up, talking about just about anything. It was always easy to talk with Izuku, always refreshing to be in his presence and hear his thoughts about things.

“Eh? So, you’re classmates with the son of Endeavour?”

“Yes! And his quirk is amazing! He’s half-cold and half-hot.”

“How does that even work?”

“Well, he’s in a constant state of homeostasis to balance out both quirks.”

“Must be hard to manage 24/7 then.”

“That’s true. But with enough practice, he may be able to stabilize both quirks to be able to do more, especially because it can be a double-whammy to villains who might not expect from someone capable of managing two quirks at the same time, there’s also the fact that he can be able to maneuver better should he master his other side…”

The kitchen slowly filled with his ramblings as the last of the dishes were taken care of, which you didn’t seem to mind. It always fun to hear him ramble, knowing that there was a big brain beneath his curly green locks. He was like a walking encyclopedia.

When the clock struck 9, you had announced that you were off, lest you worry your dear grandfather. Izuku volunteered to walk you home.

“Ah, please wait a minute, (Name)-chan!” Aunt Inko shouted when the two of you were at the front entrance, rushing towards you both with a few Tupperware in hand – leftovers from dinner.

“Oh my! Auntie Inko, thank you so much!”

She smiled at you, reaching up to caress your cheek. “Please drop by for dinner more often, (Name)-chan, okay?”

The hand was soft and warm against your cheek, calming your heart with love washing over you. Nodding, silently promising the older woman, you turned to Izuku, who opened the door for you.

“Good night, Auntie Inko!”

Once the two of you reached the neighborhood, you couldn’t help but stare off at the playground – still the same as before, but the paint’s probably new. You could almost picture out three kids running around, chasing each other merrily.

“Man, your mom really didn’t have to put up a feast.”

Laughing, Izuku scratched his cheek as he replied. “Well, she does like to go out whenever she can. Plus, it’s not always (Nickname) comes over for dinner. Also, I’ve been increasing my diet lately because of my quirk.”

Ah, his newly acquired quirk. “Come to think of it, you have been getting bulkier since the last I saw you.”

“Well, I have to compensate mass for all the power I’ve acquired.”

The matter of his quirk piqued your interest, especially because of how much it’s taking a toll on your friend. Instead of backing down, he readily worked his way to accommodate such power.

“True,” you nod, turning to him, realizing he’s grown several inches taller as well, you couldn’t help but giggle. “that and because you’re probably finally hitting puberty.”

“E-Eh!?”

“Dude, you used to be my height!” you tell him, gesturing with your hand your height. “Now, you’re…well, not really that huge, but the growth rate is a bit alarming, to say the least.”

Suddenly, he was sweating bullets, looking between relief and mild panic. “A-Ah…puberty…yes, m-must be th-that a-an-and i-i-it’s side-effects on t-th-the quirk- my quirk!” And there’s his stuttering. Still adorable.

Nudging him with your shoulder, you were quick to assure him. “There, there,” deciding to just sling your arm around his, you leaned on him comfortingly “you’ll always be cry baby Izuku to me!”

“(Nickname)!”

“Or was it wimpy Izuku?”

“(Nickname), please…”

Despite the name-calling, they were all in good fun. A comfortable silence filled in, nothing needed to be said as you two walked around the quiet streets of Musutafu.

For the first time since you were kids, you were apart because you went to different high schools, it hurt because you two were always together and you were each other’s shoulder to lean on. Technology had a great way of bridging you two together, keeping each other up to date on the other’s lives. But nothing beat direct communication with the ones you loved and you relished nothing more than these small moments with your best friend.

“By the way, (Nickname),” Izuku’s voice suddenly cut through the silence. “how is your grandfather? Couldn’t he have dropped by for dinner as well?”

At the mention of your grandfather, you couldn’t help your expression from souring. “Eh, let him be, he’s probably off watching reruns of those tournament matches to prepare. He wants to rough up the team to tough shape.” Despite his age, your grandfather had quite the build and was the martial arts coach at your high school (don’t ask which martial arts specifically, he knows them all).

“That’s true, he might want to challenge me at the front entrance door before dinner started.”

“And your mom would cry a planet at the devastation left between you two.”

It would be quiet the image, knowing how strong both your grandfather and Izuku was, and then Auntie Inko would be comically crying about in the background.

“Oh, and I’ll just watch because no way am I coming between you monsters, while comforting Auntie Inko.”

As the image progressed, the two of you giggled amongst yourselves, the two of you were nearing a lamppost, resting comfortably against his arm, when a presence before you made the two of you stop.

A blond teen came into view, halting at the sight of both of you. Dressed lazily in his home clothes, with a plastic bag filled with items he got from the convenience store.

Instantly, the laughter died out from you, lips set into a thin line.

“K-Kacchan…” stuttered the teen beside you, gulping at the tense air. “…g-good evening.”

Said teen could only blink, carmine eyes taking in the sight of both of you. Something glinted soon after.

Eyes narrowing, you gently tugged at Izuku’s sleeve, continuing your journey, dismissing the blond completely. The two of you walked past the blond, who slowly began to move when you did, starting a new conversation about Izuku’s homeroom teacher, anything to block off that one person who was forever dead to you.

(Blocks away, the blond stopped in his path, hands still balled into fists, glare fixed to the ground, while a gentle laugh coming from a gentle smile relayed in his head. They weren’t for him.

“Fuck.”)

Midoriya Izuku and Bakugo Katsuki were both your childhood friends.

They were both the first friends you made ever since moving into their town.

To be fair though, Bakugo was your first friend. He then introduced you to the green-haired boy a few days later.

Since then, the three of you grew close, were inseparable, and always played together. There was never a day when the three of you were not with the other, always ensuring to include the other whenever there was a new game to play, a new kid to befriend, or an adventure to go off to.

Bakugo had always been the leader of the three since he had such a strong personality and presence even at the age of 5. He was quick to protect the two of you and command whatever new stuff you were to do.

Izuku was his opposite, submissive, soft, and shy. Nonetheless, he had a very strong sense of justice, even when he seemed to cry a lot, and was recklessly impulsive.

And then there was you, the new girl – quiet, unassuming, tomboy. Sometimes, you liked to pretend to be the mom of the two boys, the big sister, the glue that kept you three together – but you and Katsuki knew that it was Izuku, really.

Regardless, you could always count on the two. Bakugo, especially.

He was the front liner to push you to do things you want to do, uncaring of the fact that you were a girl, because it was a minor detail to all the amazing things you could do – like catch a bug, run like the wind, play under the rain, climb trees, give bullies a beating when they were picking on Izuku, play video games, to name a few. (In addition, you were into martial arts, because it was in the family)

It was because you were so close to Bakugo that you picked up on cursing, much to the shock of dear Izuku’s innocent baby ears. You couldn’t help being a tomboy because of the fact that your best friends were guys and games the blond would instigate, you loved to challenge him in just about anything – especially at claiming to be Izuku’s bestest friend.

Still, whenever you fell or scraped your knee, it was Bakugo who’d lend a hand, angrily berate you on being reckless, before picking you from the ground or giving you a piggyback – Izuku would cry all the way, worried about your state and the possible scolding from your parents and grandfather.

You three were supposed to stick together, stay inseparable, always with each other.

That is until Bakugo discovered his quirk, followed by Izuku discovering that he was quirkless.

And ever since then, everything changed.

masterlist • two

[reader-fics]

Ward (Part Two)

Find Part One here!

Warnings: suicide/assassination mention

A/N: So, it has been a while--three years or so. This story has been sitting in my drafts since April 11, 2017. Tumblr has changed so much. The Purge came and went. I have no idea how this editor works anymore. I have no idea what’s going on, to be quite frank. Anyway. This is for you all, who have stayed on through these years. Enjoy -B

"It's a good thing she's getting rest." A voice somewhere above the clouds stated optimistically.

"Yes, a good thing indeed." Another echoed, floating near another cloud.

Your head ached as if you harbored a nest of mice chewing and nibbling at your brain. You cringed just thinking of it. The voices above you were so irritating; you wanted nothing more than for them to stop. You groaned and were pleased to find that they did. Silence, comforting silence, surrounded you.

Slowly the aching in your head ebbed away like the tide going out and you were able to think clearly. You knew you were in Camelot, and what your name (and title) was, so you figured you couldn't have hit your head too hard. Before even opening your eyes you came to the conclusion that you were in the physician's chambers, or perhaps your own, and the voices you heard had to belong to the physician and perhaps his assistant. You opened your eyes. Yes, these chambers were your own.

There was no point in trying to feign sleep, you decided, so you shifted slightly to let the physician know you were awake.

"How is my aunt?" You demanded to know. Deep in your gut, you simply knew that she had to be dead, but a little voice inside desperately clung to the hope that she was not, that she was being treated the same as you and would be okay. The look on the physician's wrinkled face told you far more than words.

"I'm very sorry, your highness." He told you sincerely. "How are you feeling?"

You managed a shrug. In your present state of mind you did not notice how you were addressed as "your highness," rather than "lady," as befitting a ward. A commotion seemed to burst in through the door. You only managed to twist your body slightly to see the King coming towards you. Ah, a commotion indeed.

"Your highness, I'm glad to see you awake and well. We are very lucky you were not harmed." Arthur breezed, taking your hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Yes, I-I suppose so." You stuttered. How lucky could you be really? Your aunt, your only family in the world, was dead, and now she had left you in charge of a kingdom you didn't know was yours until only very recently!

"Tell me," your voice was stronger now, "what became of the perpetrator?"

You wanted to know the fate of the person who ripped your aunt away from you. Yes, it was magic that killed her, but you blamed the person, not the weapon. Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"He was immediately arrested and placed in a cell."

"Good," you nodded, "I should like to speak with him."

What you wanted to know was why. Why would he do this? Your aunt's kingdom was friendly to those with magic, so why target a friend rather than a foe. The handsome blond king in front of you was nothing but kind, but, if you were given a choice between his life and your aunt's, there would be no choice. Why her?

"The guards found him hanging there this morning." Arthur told you in a low voice. "His arms were bound and he was gagged. We don't think it was a suicide attempt; someone chose to kill him."

You didn't know how to respond. On one hand, you were glad in a twisted way that your aunt's murderer was dead. However, on the other you now had proof that the citizens of Camelot were not kind to magic. The whole ordeal made you feel sick. Arthur did not push the matter further, and you suspected it had a lot to do with the queasy look on your face.

He didn't protest when you asked both him and Gaius to leave the room.

The guard Arthur insisted stay near you nodded politely as he closed the door behind your leaving guests. You never really knew the proper decorum for dealing with a guard, so you just bowed your head in thanks and watched him take up his post on the other side as it swung shut. Once the door closed behind him, you allowed yourself to drop the semblance of tranquility and calm you were holding.

The full force of your aunt's death hit you like falling off a horse and hitting the ground. The air seemed to be pulled from your lungs and you were floating between right and wrong, day and night. Nothing seemed real, not except for the deep ache in your chest.

If she were still alive, she'd be here now at your bedside. You remembered a time, when you were younger, when you were dreadfully ill and she, even while ruling as queen, kept a constant vigil at your bedside. She soothed your fears and was a comforting presence during those dark times.

Though she never let you call her mother--"I'm not your mother, my love. She was a much better woman than I am"--some times you simply couldn't help but think it. And now she was gone. Oh gods. Your throat tightened up and you struggled to breath again.

Your eyes slammed shut and hot tears forced their way down your face. You buried your face in your hands, wishing that everything could just go back to normal. Wrenching sobs wracked your chest, but a noise outside the door alerted you to attention.

"Your highness? Are you alright?" You heard someone ask, knocking softly on the door. You assumed that it was one of Arthur's servants he'd sent to look after you; if you sent him back Arthur would only send more. You didn't want him to worry about you. As you were just now discovering, crown rulers had numerous things to think about at all times. You wiped your eyes quickly and turned your back to the door, pulling the blankets up over your shoulders. Maybe you could pretend to be sleeping and send him away quickly.

"Yes, I'm fine, but you may as well come in." You sighed. As royalty, Aunt Lysa had warned you that you'd never have privacy when you wanted it. Apparently that also extended to mourning.

The serving boy opened the door and stuck his head in halfway, almost apologetically. When you didn't protest, he stepped all the way through the door and closed it behind him. Now that you could see him entirely, you recognized him from the feast. He had been bickering with the king over whether or not it was proper for him to wear his hat--a monstrosity of feathers and velvet, really. In the end, Merlin won and the hat lay discarded for the evening. The memory made you smile slightly, a small ray of sunshine in the otherwise desolate world. As the firelight glinted in his eyes you remembered one more thing--he was also the one to pull you away from the danger.

You may have owed him your life.

"Arthur sent me to check up on you." He explained. "He knows what it's like to lose someone you love. He had a sister..."

Morgana. You knew. She had been missing for nearly a year now. Word had spread quickly throughout the kingdoms to look for her, but everyone feared the worst. Either she didn't want to be found or she was dead. You nodded understandingly. Poor Arthur.

"You may tell Arthur that I'm fine." You sighed. "If that's all..."

"Forgive me for being bold, my lady--your highness," Merlin cringed at his blunder, "but you're very clearly not fine."

You laughed hoarsely, tossing him a look over your shoulder.

"Your powers of observation are in-credible. How much does Arthur pay you?"

"Not nearly enough." He confessed, shrugging his lanky shoulders awkwardly.

You laughed at this, but immediately felt guilty. Still, it felt good to laugh. Talking with Merlin distracted you. Maybe that was Arthur's intention of sending him in the first place.

Over the next few days, Merlin was a frequent visitor at your bedside. Your head had sustained a bit of a massive injury, and Gaius didn't want to risk you hurting yourself any more, so you were restricted to bed rest. Merlin always seemed to bring the outside in with him, with stories of the Knights and whatever stupid trouble Arthur had gotten himself into recently, and those visits soon became the best part of your day.

One evening, Merlin stayed later than usual, not leaving to serve Arthur his dinner as he usually did.

"The prat actually gave me a night off, can you believe it?" He grinned, pulling up his favorite chair. You gently smiled in response.

"Merlin, if this is your only night off, by all means don't feel like you have to spend it here with me."

"Why? I like spending time with you. Besides, Gaius would like me to improve my patient management skills. How do you feel, patient?"

"Managed." You joked.

As the two of you sat and talked, the sun set and soon your room was rather dark, save for the fire in the fireplace and the few candles on the desk. You had a candle on your night table, and that seemed like the obvious solution.

It was an accident, really. You weren't thinking. That was your problem--Lysa would always tell you; you never thought before you acted. Before you could even think of the consequences, you'd used a little bit of magic to created a flame on the candle on the table for light. You heard Merlin gasp.

"Y-you have magic?"

You stared at him quizzically for a moment, thinking. If he betrayed you to the guards, what were the odds of you surviving? You really weren't sure, but, considering that Lysa was already dead there wasn't a terrible amount left for you to live for. Even if it would get you killed, why not tell the servant about magic? A fine idea, really.

"I know a little magic. Well, it's not much at all. Every bit I've got I had to fight for. Lysa believed that a good ruler had to know about all of her subjects. The magic users were simply the more marginalized ones."

"Oh." Was all that Merlin could say.

"I supposed you'll want to run off to Arthur and have me arrested." You sighed, wishing you'd heeded Lysa's advice and been more careful. You blew out the candle, watching the smoke rise and dissipate as if it were erasing all evidence.

"No! Well, actually, it'd be very silly for me to run off to Arthur. I'd be the biggest hypocrite."

"Oh?" You pursed your lips, parroting his word back at him.

Merlin merely raised his hand and the flame grew back where it had been. He used magic, just as you had done.

"That's vexing." You commented. "How could one of Arthur's closest friends keep such a big secret?"

Merlin reddened.

"I do it so he won't have to make that choice, to let me live or break the law. I wouldn't want to put him in that situation."

"I see." Such a thing would never happen in Lysa's kingdom. Perhaps Arthur had as much to learn from you as you did from him.

"Do you really protect magic users in your kingdom?" Merlin burst out asking, as if the question had been bothering him all day.

"Of course. They're people too, and have every right to be." You told him firmly. Aunt Lysa told you the same thing when you were young, frightened of the unknown.

"I've been told magic has no place in Camelot. D'you think that's true?"

"Well, you're here and I'm here and we both have magic, so I'd say that there is a place here."

The next few days quickly turned into weeks and then months while you were amidst a whirl of funerary preparations and beyond. There was no way you could successfully take Lysa's body back to be burned in her home kingdom, so Arthur graciously built her a pyre worthy of a queen. You were the one to light the torch, making a big show of doing it with flint and stone when you really just used your magic. It felt better that way, more elemental and natural.

As you watched the flames lick at the sky, you couldn't help but feel more alone than you ever had, even with Arthur on one side and Merlin at the other. Lysa, your last living family member, was gone and she left you enough responsibility for a lifetime. Too much, even.

How on earth could you rule without her?

Arthur had graciously advocated for your coronation ceremony to be held in Camelot, rather than returning all the way home to be legally allowed to rule and then coming back to finally get on with the peace treaties. You didn't want any more delays.

You requested that the ceremony be brief and austere. Out of respect for Lysa, it was done. No banquet was arranged, no orchestra merrily playing. Arthur, being the highest power in the kingdom, was the one to formally crown you. There was no one from Lysa's kingdom of a reputable stature to do it, so it had to be him. As you knelt before him, listening to the bland words of politics and formal sanctions, he lowered the crown onto your head.

The weight of it startled you.

It was cold, and heavy, and so unlike anything you'd expected. You remained kneeling, staring at the floor and simply allowing yourself to feel. Gods, you felt this gnawing emptiness inside. The floor hurt your knees, the crown hurt your head, the circumstances hurt... everything.

"Y/N?" Arthur gently prompted. There were no spectators, no one but Merlin, there to gasp at the breach of decorum. It was just the three of you.

"Are you alright?" Camelot's king asked the new queen.

"I don't know." You replied in a halting voice, straightening up. Arthur's hand was immediately there offering assistance and you gladly took it.

"Is your crown this uncomfortable too?" You asked. Arthur laughed heartily, nodding.

"It's unbearable." He agreed.

Following dinner that evening, you cornered Merlin in your chambers when he visited, more by habit now than anything else. You were seated staring out the window and Merlin was puttering around with the fireplace, adjusting the decorative objects on the mantle out of boredom.

"Merlin, I need your help." You lowered your voice, looking out into the courtyard below.

"Yeah?" He replied casually. Even to a Queen his manners were still the same. You wouldn't have it any other way. Turning to face him, you twisted your fingers together in your lap.

"I need a distraction." You said.

"Oh?" He replied, brushing his hands on his trousers and crossing the room to the window in a few long strides. "How can I help?"

"Make me stop thinking." You looked up at him helplessly.

As if the words were a gods-given command, Merlin snapped into action and his lips were on yours in an instant, a hand wound possessively in your hair. For a moment, it was everything. It was the press of his body against yours, it was the smell of his skin, it was the taste of his lips. After that moment it all cleared away and it was a blissful nothingness that took its place.

The steadfast, proper queen you had become was able to rest, to walk away, leaving behind the person with desires and needs. You grabbed and you took what you needed, decorum be damned.

Skin sweaty and bare, you tangled in each other's arms and let the candles burn themselves out. In the quietest hours of the night was your mind the most active. Fears and anxieties about the future crept in.

"Merlin," you whispered into the darkness, "I don't know how to rule a kingdom."

"If it's any consolation," came his response, "I don't either."

You grinned sheepishly, staring up in the general direction of the cieling. Merlin rolled over so that he could kiss the bare skin on your shoulder, lips warm on cool flesh. You absentmindedly combed your fingers through his hair, and he rested his head next to yours on the pillow.

"But you're not a queen. You don't have to rule." You continued, pursuing your lips. Surely by now news had already traveled home that Lysa was dead. How on earth will they react when you return? Alone?

"True," he considered, feeling the weight of the word on his tongue. What did it mean to rule? Arthur certainly wouldn't be sitting on the throne if it weren't for Merlin, so did that make him a ruler, too? Merlin wrinkled his nose. God, he hoped not.

"The success of a king--or queen--is as much dependent on their subjects as their prowess in ruling." He said thoughtfully.

"How philosophical of you." You rolled your eyes.

"I suppose you'll just have to take it one day at a time. Start with these peace treaties. No. Start with just one. One treaty. One doctrine. Then the next." Merlin kissed your forehead.

"I suppose so." You replied, feeling at peace for the first time since before you left Lysa's kingdom.

[darcypalmer]

After a long day od questioning and interrogation, @diegojaimechavez​ surprises Gen with a phone call and spend the night chatting

It was a long, never-ending day. Gen was ushered into an interrogation room the moment they stepped into the building and not so long after the FBI showed up too, and it had begun. She thought she was tired before, but dealing with the FBI sucked every bit of remaining energy out of her. It wasn't the same as the interrogation all those years ago, but the feelings were the same - the extreme tiredness, both emotionally and physically, feeling like she was the shittiest person, the confusion and the knowledge that she was missing so much, even now she was missing so much information, the emptiness and weirdly feeling dirty to her core. She was sure there were moments when the FBI looked at her as a potential ally to Vivien and the syndicate, that was inevitable, but she wasn't sure what made them realize that wasn't the case, or even if they realized it or if they still considered her another suspect.

They barely took breaks, but during one of them Al brought her a cup of coffee, which she was more than grateful for (though she really wished it could have been Diego who brought it, just seeing him for a few moments would have been nice, but she assumed that he wasn't allowed anywhere near her during the interrogation, not that it would have made any difference). While Al brought the coffee to her, she quietly ask him to make sure some kind of medical professional would check out Diego and his injuries, and he promised her with a look that Diego most likely would have recognized, but to Gen it was just a kind face agreeing to what she asked.

She lost her sense of time completely by the time the FBI released her that night with the promise that they'd be contacting her about any questions they had so far and that in the next couple of days she would be informed about the next steps and what would happen to her from here on out. She felt like a washed rag as she finally headed out of the interrogation room, and to her surprised her eyes immediately found Diego. She expected him to be home, or at least out of here already. "Hey, what are you still doing here?" she asked him once she headed over to him. "You're not in any trouble, right?"

_______________________

Diego expected Gen to be whisked away for processing, and then questioning once the FBI arrived, he recognized a couple of the agents, but merely nodded at them.  He knew he had to let them conduct their work, just as much as he had to conduct his.  But Gen was his work, and so once Gen was taken away, Diego went to locate Al.  He spoke extensively with his boss and with the North California Director as well, about Gen's well-being, her state of mind, her situation.  About Vivien showing up without anyone expecting it.  And reluctantly he even brought up Tyler Ellis, knowing Al was already familiar with the trouble-maker from their past.  He told them Rita should be coming soon, to share what she knew as well.

Everything seemed to be going well - although there was only so much that Diego could do about how the FBI spoke with Gen, at least Al offered to take her in some coffee at one point.

"And about those kids from Sunnymead-" Diego started in immediately after Al returned.  His boss held up a hand.

"In due time, Di, you're going a mile a minute.  And you look like shit.  You sure you don't need anyone to take a look at that mug of yours?  It's even uglier than usual, no wonder you scared those kids."

Diego gave his boss a wry look and waved off the concern.  Al opened his mouth, looking like it was going to say something - but instead, he changed his mind and said something else.  "I talked with Agent Karmeni.  She said your girl's gonna be staying here in the city for a couple of days, while they get things sorted. And yeah - don't worry, you'll be staying with her."

On the brink of insisting he should, Diego relaxed when Al assured him that he'd be there.  "I want to stick by her to the end.  After all this shit that's happened, she needs someone around who she can trust.  Or she'll go rabbity, Al.  She can't just get shunted around again like a pawn on a chessboard.  Not after all this."

Al looked at Diego carefully, and Diego avoided his boss' eyes, knowing that look.  He knew if he made eye contact, then Al might feel responsible for saying something that Diego didn't want to hear, not right now.  So he kept his eyes steadfastly focused on middle-ground, not filling up the silence but also not allowing Al to see any vulnerability in his eyes, no softness.  He knew Al could read him too well.  And he also knew this wasn't the first time Al had seen him like this, about a woman he was assigned to protect.

Finally with a sigh, Al spoke, raising his hands to his eyes like horse blinders.  "Without addressing the elephant in the room - yet - we'll see what we can work out, Diego.  Based on what the FBI need from her - and she's gonna have to go through another psych eval as well.  So we'll consult with the experts and then go from there.  But if you want me to support you in staying on as her handler then....I'll do that.  But that elephant's gonna come charging over sooner or later, and when it does, Di, we're gonna have to talk about it.  You hear me?"

Diego finally looked up at his boss, giving Al a squinting but appreciative smile.  It was small and tentative, but Al knew Diego well.  "Crystal clear.  Al - thanks."

Al pointed a finger at him.  "To be continued, son.  Now it looks like they're releasing your girl.  Go on."

Diego didn't hesitate, because he saw the door opening too through the glass walls of the office building.  He nodded at Al once more then crossed the halls until he got to Gen and the FBI agents.  Diego restrained himself long enough for the FBI agents to get out of earshot, but Gen apparently didn't bother with restraint as she floated right over to him, surprise in her exhausted eyes.

"I'm fine, just went through a lot of paperwork while you were in there."  He gave Gen a huffy look.  "Where else would I be?  C'mon.  You're done for the day, and you gotta be back here bright any early tomorrow.  We're going.  You need food and a shower.  And maybe some ambien."

_______________________

Diego reassured her that he was doing just fine, just working on paperwork and a huge relief flooeded through Gen's body. For a moment she was worried that the FBI took him, too, and tried to twist the narrative in a way that was more than negative towards Diego. That was the last thing she would have wanted, but thankfully it was just some paperwork. Well, probably an extreme amount of paperwork, if he was still here, so long after they've arrived to the offices.

But then Diego asked where else he would be as if it was stupid of her to even assume he would be anywhere else, and it staggered Gen for a moment because... well, she knew he said he would want to stick around for all of this, but she also assumed that meant he would come to New York, make sure everything went down smoothly. Not, say, wait for her for hours without end while she was sitting in an interrogation room, the FBI drilling her. She figured he'd get some rest, she was certain he needed it, she would get escorted to some motel or something and then they'd meet and talk the next day - if she would be allowed.

So she just stood there, kind of confused for a few moments while Diego was already moving towards the exit and she had to shake herself out of her surprise and rush to catch up with him. "Yeah, sure, all of that sounds really good." She would have killed for a shower, anything to wash off all the dirt she felt on herself, and now that Diego mentioned food, she felt like she could actually properly eat, as for the sleep... god, a full night's rest possibly without nightmares was a dream.

"Actually, do you think we could get some burgers on the way to-- where are we going exactly?" she asked, frowning as they exited the building and headed for Diego's car, which felt like the most welcoming sights she's seen in hours, for sure.

She looked at him for a few moments after they settled in before she said, "Thank you. For helping me and sticking around. Really can't thank you enough."

_______________________

"We can get whatever you want," Diego said, although the generousity was mostly in sentiment than action.  If she wanted to go back to Sunnymead, for example, he would've refused.  They had to stay in the city, close to the offices.  But really he could tell that Gen just seemed too exhausted to do much but follow his lead.  Ironic, considering how she'd pushed and resisted and challenged him constantly, for nearly a year now.    He almost wished for those old days of arguing, if only because she was safe and comfortable in Sunnymead.

But Diego also had to remind himself that progress and change was uncomfortable and disturbing, but that didn't mean it was bad.  Vivien Salazar was arrested, Darcy Palmer was no more.  Wasn't that a good thing?  Or wouldn't it eventually be a good thing for Gen?  If, by some miracle, it was determined that she wouldn't need to stay in witness protection, then she'd be free.  Wasn't that what she wanted?  Even more importantly, wasn't it what she deserved?

He stopped at her franchise restaurant of choice, parking so she could go inside and order whatever she wanted.  Diego gave her $20 and told her to get him something too.  By now, after months of serving him, Gen knew what sorts of things he liked to eat.  As he waited, watching her closely, he made one more phone call to Al.  This would be a huge favour, but surprisingly it took little convincing of Al for his boss to say he'd see what he could do.

After Gen gathered her feast, Diego took her to a drugstore to pick up some toiletries, and some fresh clothes.  After that it was checking into the designated motel.  It wasn't anything fancy or special, but it was spartan and clean.  The clean was the most important part.  It was a motel used by the authorities enough to know that it was secure, and had good vantage points and escape routes.  Diego cased the room first before he let Gen settle in.

"Go take a shower, then you can eat afterwards, hm?" he suggested, because he believed food always tasted better when one didn't feel dirty and grungy.  "I can take a shower afterwards, don't worry."  Once Gen agreed, Diego sighed and inspected his face in the motel mirror, then gently pressed his fingers between his legs.  Jesus, that still hurt.  Vivien had quite the high kick, and he'd probably be feeling it right into tomorrow morning.  But he didn't linger on his injuries when All called him again, and gave him the information he wanted to get.

It was maybe just a minor thing, but Diego was elated that it could happen, and so fast.  Al could sometimes work miracles, and Diego always appreciated it.  "Damn, thanks," he exhorted, hanging up just as Gen came out of the bathroom.  She still looked exhausted, but at least she looked clean.

"Hey, come over here for a second."  Diego sat on the edge of the bed, letting her sit next to him.  He showed her his phone.  "In a few minutes, I'm going to get a call.  That's it, just a call, no video - er, facetime - or anything.  But the call's going to come in from your brother, Benji.  Just so you guys can finally talk, hm?  I thought - I figured maybe you'd want to hear a familiar voice right now and...ah..."  Diego scratched the back of his neck.

"If you don't got it in you to talk to Benjamin right now that's fine.  Totally fine I understand maybe I was just getting a little ahead of myself with setting this up, hm? It's fine, just lemme know now, because I can tell his handler not to call.  Just - I thought it might help if - if you heard...if you got to talk to...ah...."

_______________________

Gen just sank into the car seat and spent most of the car ride in a comfortable quiet with Diego as she was looking out the window and barely taking in anything she saw. The city was dark, the lights periodically lighting up parts of the streets and it probably looked beautiful and interesting, but Gen barely saw any of it. Her brain was running the events of the last day of loop, hyperanalyzing everything Juliana and Phoenix told her, and all the different questions the FBI asked and how her answer must have come across, if she could have given a better answer to any of them.

She quickly got them some food, not needing any sort of direction from Diego about his order either - she saw what kind of food he prefered and kept going back to in the Grub, it wasn't hard to figure out what he would like the most, and then they hit up a drug store and got some basic supplies and she really hoped she could just burn everything she was wearing in that moment. She never wanted to lay eyes on those clothes ever again, let alone wear them.

She was mostly operating on instinct and her body automatically taking her where she needed to go. She felt the exhaustion in her bones. She was sure once she hit the bed, though, she wouldn't really be able to fall asleep, not without at least some sleeping pills, and for once she was going to take them happily because she needed that release that a hopefully dreamless, full night's rest could offer for her. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had that. Probably before everything turned to shit all those years ago.

After they got everything, they finally headed to the hotel, and she just nodded along to everything Diego was saying as she set the food on the small table and headed right into the bathroom to take a shower. The hot water pouring onto her skin offered such relief she didn't even realize she needed and for the first few minutes she just stood in the shower cabin, letting the water run on her without her doing anything. And once she managed to get herself to move, she spent at least fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes just scrubbing at her body because no matter how many times she washed herself, she just didn't feel clean. It didn't feel like she got all of Vivien off of her and she compulsively wanted to get rid of every bit of that woman from her skin, from her memory and her past and present. But since that wasn't possible, she would have been happy with just washing away everything that happened.

Even though it never felt enough, eventually she stopped and got out of the shower and got into the pajama (one that included a plaid short and a loose tank top with some kind of drawn figure, it was the first thing she could grab at the drugstore when they were there) and with her wet hair falling all over her shoulder, she headed back out. "Sorry, I kind of took my time, but you should still have some hot water."

Instead of taking a shower himself (it didn't even fully register for her at that point that he would be taking a shower in the same place, which meant he didn't have his own room and they would have to share that single bed he was sitting on at the moment), he called her over to sit down next to him, and her mind immediately jumped into alert mode. "What happened? Is everything okay?" She was already imagining the worst possible scenarios - Vivien escaped, Phoenix and Juliana in danger again.

He quickly started explaining to her what was going to happen in a few minutes, though, and Gen went quiet in just a few moments, her hearts beating faster and faster, running her fingers through her hair to at least do something with her hands suddenly this felt like a dream all over again. Did she pass out in the car and now she was just dreaming about what she wanted so desperately to happen? She reached over and pinched her own wrist - but no, it hurt, this couldn't be a dream. Diego was telling her that she could talk to her brother.

She could talk to Benji.

Gen could feel her hands starting to shake and tears brimming in her eyes for the first time in a really long time not because she was scared or stressed or on the verge of a break down, but because she was elated. She couldn't put it into words even if she tried to, but if she wasn't in love with Diego already, she would have fallen in love with him for this. She couldn't imagine just how much pull he had to make to make this happen and she could never thank him enough for this.

And somehow he managed to read her quietness as something that she might not like his gesture and he turned sheepish and started reassuring her that it wasn't required, she could postpone it for later too and fuck, she loved this man so much it felt like she might just burst and she kept meaning to say something because really, she can't stay silent forever and she needed to convey just how grateful and happy and joyful she felt in that moment for this but no words seemed to be enough, no words could ever be enough for this, and she just wanted to lean closer and kiss him, but that was not possible, she couldn't screw things up for him in the same moment when he's doing something so important for her, so instead she ended up just leaning in and throwing her hands around him, hugging him close and hard and tight, burying her face into his neck for a few moments and hoping that he understood everything she couldn't find the words for.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much. I just-- thank you," she kept saying over and over again because what else could she do than hold onto him and thank him for all of this.

_______________________

Gen was so completely still and quiet, Diego was fairly sure he'd done it this time.  He'd sent Gen spiralling into some sort of catatonic state of shock.  He really should have known better - after everything she'd just been through in the space of 12 hours, after losing two people she cared about, and finding her ex-girlfriend alive only to realize Vivien was a bad person, and destroying an identity she'd cultivated for four years...now this?  Spring a phone call to her brother, after she'd been beaten up so thoroughly both emotionally and mentally?  He realized then that he was a fool to think it could help her.  All this offer did was probably terrify the poor thing that she'd fuck this up as well and ruin her relation with her brother now too.

"Dar - Gen, I'm -"  Diego started to say, wanting to shove the phone into his pocket so Gen wouldn't have to look at the accusing object.  But then suddenly her arms were around him, and her face buried against the crook of his neck.  For a moment Diego braced himself, thinking she had turned to slap and smack at him in frustration and hurt.  He was expecting her to yell at him for putting her through this new fresh torture - but she wasn't slapping him.  Or yelling.  Instead, she just held him close.

And eventually Diego relaxed, and slid his own hand across her back.  She was hugging him.  God Jesus above, she was happy.  He could've kissed her then if it wasn't for the fact that his face hurt, and he had stale cigarettes-and-coffee breath while she was clean and minty.   But he held her tightly, and gingerly pat her back.

"Of course, of course..." he muttered, feeling suddenly awkward.  She was so happy, and it made Diego's heart ache for so many different reasons.  Fortunately, his phone rang then, and Diego had to let her go to answer it.

"Yeah.  Okay, sure," Diego said over the phone.  "Alright, put him on."  Diego held the phone out to Gen then, and he spoke gently to her.  "He'll be on soon.  I'm going to take a shower, give you two a bit of privacy, hm?  Take your time, his handler will keep a track of the phone call for us.  You'll be alright?"

_______________________

At first it was like hugging a dead piece of wood, Diego was just sitting there, unmoving and Gen was about to move back, not wanting to force her touch and embrace on him when he finally wrapped his hands around her and give her a sheepish pat on her back. In any other situation she would have probably over analyzed that pat and came to the conclusion that it was even further proof that he didn't want anything from her, they've been in each others arms plenty of time before after all, and now he could barely hug her back along with that pat? It surely would have been clear signs in her mind. But now aside from the sheer gratitude she felt towards Diego, her mind was hyper focusing on Benji and the fact that just in a couple of moments she could finally talk to him, hear his voice, make sure he's okay. Diego couldn't have given her a better surprise for the end of the day. Or for any other time, really.

She pulled back when the phone rang, pulling her legs under her, her eyes immediately focusing on the phone and Diego, her hands shaking a little bit from excitement. It felt like it took forever for Diego to hand the phone over to her and it felt like no time has passed at all, and she kept nodding to everything Diego was saying. "Yeah, I'll be fine, I promise. Thank you so much," she said again with a smile and waited for Diego go into the bathroom before she scooted up to the end of the bed and leaned against the header.

Suddenly she was nervous, not really sure what she would even say. If Benji would even talk to her. Maybe she'd pick the phone up and his handler would be waiting for her, telling her that he didn't want to talk and she couldn't do a single thing about it or even blame him for it. All kinds of different scenarios flooded through her head and overwhelmed her and she had to force herself to push all of them out of her brain because anything, even if it was just a simple hello from Benji, would be amazing at this point and she knew she could be happy. She just wanted to hear his voice.

She took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear, listening for a few moments before carefully speaking, "Hello?"

_______________________

It hadn’t been long since Benji had fallen asleep when he heard a knock at the door. He decided to ignore it. The few people he was close to - which he thought was a relative term - knew that he wasn’t ever up late. What was the point in it? It wasn’t like there was much that he liked to do outside of the house. Staying in with Finley was ideal to him. He pressed his face against the pillow again. They’d leave eventually.

... except, they didn’t. Each time there was another knock at the door, he swore his pulse kicked up a beat. Was he going to die? Was he seriously going to die as a math teacher in Texas? He moved to grab his phone so that he could call someone in case of an emergency when he realized how many missed calls and unread messages he had from the agent working his case. The last message said that he needed to open the door immediately. Throwing a pillow across the bed at his sleeping husband, Benji sighed. “Why does my ringtone wake you up every time except for the time it needs to?!” Finley mumbled something which Benji wasn’t sure was in English. He climbed out of the bed, looking back to make sure that he was being followed and walked over to the door.

Pressing his palms flat on the door, Benji decided to look through the peephole. There were so many things which could go wrong and... nope. That was definitely Abigail. Opening the door slowly, Benji didn’t bother trying to make eye contact with her as she stepped inside. “In... uh, in my defense, this usually doesn’t happen. I’ve - we’ve - answered your calls later than this. What’s - what’s so important though?”

Once his sister’s name came from Abigail’s lips, Benji wasn’t sure what was happening. He was hearing bits and pieces, words like Gen and Vivien, but didn’t hear the rest of it. He couldn’t even say how he’d ended up seated on the couch with Finley’s hand on his knee. For a moment, he thought that she had to be dying for any of this to be happening. She couldn’t be, right? There was only one way to find out. Truthfully, he hadn’t felt present in his body until he noticed Abigail thrusting the phone his way.

Fumbling with the phone, Benji held it up - mindful of the fact that it was on speaker so that the handler would be able to hear what was happening in the conversation. The moment Gen’s voice came through the speaker, he started crying. “Genevieve... Gen... what the fuck is going on?!”

_______________________

The moment Gen heard Benji's sporadic, worried voice, she burst into silent tears while a grin spread across her face. It really was Benji and he sounded distant but so close at the same time, and worried about her and it didn't really hit her until that moment that he must have been scared shitless if his handler just burst in through the door and gave him the phone with little to no explanation, but that was okay because he was on the other end of the phone and they were talking and she could reassure him all by herself.

"Benji, hi. On my god, it's so good to hear your voice. I-- I'm okay now," and for that moment she was and felt like she could take on the world all by herself even if the next day all of that might be gone. "A lot of, well a lot of things are happening, but I'm okay, you don't have to worry about me. I'm safe and I'm good and-- are you okay? How are you doing?"

"Gen, we got the gist of what happened, but I doubt your brother heard any of it past your name, so could you maybe...?" A different, familiar voice came through the phone, and Gen breathed a sigh of relief. Finley was there with Benji, that was good, that meant he was not alone completely. When the FBI placed her in Sunnymead she tried to figure out if Finley was allowed to go with Benji or not, but everyone refused to tell her anything. "Really glad to hear you are doing okay, though."

"Finley, really glad to hear you too. But okay, Benji, I swear I'm okay. It's just-- don't freak out but turns out Vivien is alive and she found me, but she's arrested now and I'm okay. I spent the day talking to the FBI and they're gonna figure out what's next in the next few days." She tried to keep it as short and to the point as possible both because she didn't want to worry Benji more than necessary and because she didn't want to sound her time talking about Vivien and what happened, she wanted to hear from Benji.

"But none of that matters, are you okay, are you guys are okay? Happy? How's your life? Tell me something, tell me anything."

_______________________

To hear that she was safe sent a wave of relief over Benji. Still, he began to bite at the bandages wrapped around his fingers - an attempt to keep him from biting his nails. It was attempt number 500. It might as well be anyway. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. There would be more details because he didn’t know how long he had to talk to her. Whatever stubbornness he was trying to hold on to could only go for so long before he spent the whole call being angry with her.

He had lost so much. He might have Finley, but he also needed Gen and Olivia... Olivia who had passed away as a result of this whole mess. His parents had never been people he was close to and he doubted he would talk to them much if they were around. How many nights had he cried and wished he could talk to his sister. Bitterness wasn’t going to ruin this chance.

“She’s alive?! And don’t tell me not to freak out because you know me! I’m not going to keep calm about this!” He glances up and saw Abigail staring at him. She certainly wasn’t one of the people with whom Benji was totally comfortable with. She’d never seen him like this. “So you’re... what now? Did you talk to her? Where are you? What have you been doing?!”

And Gen had questions of her own. Benji sighed softly. “I — yes. We’re happy.  As happy as can be expected. Um, married? Also they made me be a math teacher! Someone asked me what 12 times 12 was the other day and it took me a good thirty seconds to figure it out!”

_______________________

Benji's reassurance came quietly and not with the most positive tone of Benji's voice, but Gen didn't care in that moment, she was just happy to hear her brother confirm he was okay. Or, well, as okay as he can be. She doubted either of them would fully be okay like they used to be after all of this.

Gen couldn't help it, she let out a small, quiet chuckle at Benji's frustration about her trying to calm him down. She could tell that Benji was angry, probably holding back all the hate he had in him for her over everything that happened, but even that anger was welcomed because at least they were talking. At least she could hear him being angry. And really, it was kind of stupid of her to tell him not to freak out, he was already in the middle of freaking out.

"Yeah, okay, that's fair. Just-- don't stress over it too much, please? Finley, please make sure he isn't losing sleep over this."

"I'll do my best," he interjected.

"But yeah, apparently somehow she survived, I'm not exactly clear on that front. She showed up at my apartment and we talked a bit, yeah." Could have spent more time talking, but she did some stupid things instead, not that she was going to get into that. "Not a lot, she wanted me to go with her, thought we could go back to how things were. I told her no. And I'm in a motel right now, I don't think I'm allowed to say more on the where."

"I'd prefer it if you kept quiet on that one, Genevieve, the least all of you know about each other's locations, the better, at least until further notice," a woman confirmed in a stern, matter of fact voice - probably their handler.

"Alright, so yeah, just a motel. Far away from where I was originally placed. And uh... fuck, suddenly I can't think of anything I did. I have a diner! Well, more like ran a diner, still not sure how that will go now. Honestly, I had a really boring life until now." She stayed quiet for a moment before she added. "I really missed you."

Happy and married. That was the best news Benji could have possibly given him. It calmed and relaxed her, and made her happier than she thought could be possible a couple of hours ago. There was an underlying sadness added to it, though - she wished she could have been there, wished she could have seen Benji and Finley get married, and more than anything wished Olivia could have been there too.

"Married? Congratulation, guys, that's so great! When did it happen? How did it happen? I'm so sorry I missed it. Did you guys manage to have a good celebration at least?" She frowned when he mentioned being a math teacher. "Why would anyone make you a math teacher? Did they know you have no clue about numbers? How are you even doing it properly? Do they give you an earpiece and whisper help you through it?"

_______________________

Benji would stress over it. He knew Gen was safe now, but he also knew it wouldn’t be the case forever. He could fixate on the good, but Vivien’s arrest wouldn’t make everything go back to normal. Things were never going to be normal again. This was their new normal.

“Finley isn’t going to know if I’m losing sleep! He sleeps like a rock!” Benji insisted. It wasn’t a lie either. They would end up in bed and, the first moment they laid in silence, Finley would be out like a light. Benji was bad about sleep though. He’d lie there and looked up at the ceiling.

He shook his head. “At least you told her no. You’ve never made the best choices with her. You know she made me uncomfortable!” It had been easy for Gen to write that off, however, because a lot of people made him feel that way. “Are you sure that’s all you did? Because if you - if you did something which might put me or god forbid Finley in danger, that’s on you. Just like with Liv.” He said it harshly bur the look on his face was more sad than it was angry. The thought had been running through his mind over the past few weeks and he wasn’t able to let go of it. He knew, logically, that she wouldn’t have done anything to hurt the people she cared about. There was no way she could have known what Vivien was up to... but someone had to be blamed and she was on the receiving end.

“A motel? Are they - do you think they’re moving you? Or is it... over now?” His brows were furrowed. That certainly couldn’t be the case. Didn’t she have associates involved? Logic wasn’t always his strong suit though. Benji led with his heart.

He shot the agent a dirty look, but knew she could end the call the instant he stepped out of line. “A diner? You weren’t... you weren’t by yourself, right? You have people? God, I hope you have people.” If Benji couldn’t be there, someone had to be for her. The level of closeness that he had with her was irreplaceable, but there were women in his life who he was... relatively close to. (For Benji, that was good.)

A soft laugh left him. The whole thing had been an ordeal and involved a lot of arguing with people they shouldn’t have in a million years. It worked out for the best. “They said they were going to split us up because we weren’t married so... I said we were engaged.” He had blurted it it out without any plan whatsoever. It wasn’t a romantic, yet it wasn’t something that he regretted at all. “Um, not really. We kind of got married legally then we kind of... celebrated privately?” It could have come out wrong, but it also seemed like exactly the right way to describe things. And he was happy about that. A large party would have only bothered him and raised his anxiety.

It was difficult not to grin at this point. “There are a bunch of little booklets that I have filled with notes and equations and formulas. It’s all Greek to me. I don’t... I’ve been trying with this for years and I’m still just as lost!” The students learned things though. He’d had some of them say that he was their favorite teacher. He figured it was the confused looks on his face. “I mean, kids finish it and do well the next year. I’m pretending pretty well! You’d think I would have learned, but...”

_______________________

"I can stay up long enough to try and see if you can sleep, come on!" Finley grumbled in the background, and Gen smiled a little. They were doing okay. They set up a certain kind of life, they adjusted and they stayed strong together. She assumed there were bumps on the road, but she hoped it only made them stronger, and that Finley was there to help Benji through it all. He's always brought the best out of Benji and she couldn't even imagine how Benji would have been like if Finley couldn't went with him.

"Come on, you've always had difficult time getting used to new people," she couldn't help but counter, even though looking back now she wished she would have listened to him. She wished she would have been less blind, maybe all of this could have been avoided.

She dropped her head, running her fingers through her hair as Benji asked if she really only just talked to her or did something else,  memories of Vivien and her entangled in her bed flashing in front of her eyes. Fuck, she hated so much that she's done that, that that was her first reaction. It probably only made things worse. maybe if she could have just used her brain and turned Vivien away, just sent a 911 text to Diego and they caught Vivien by surprise, Juliana wouldn't have been taken, they could have avoided everything that happened. Maybe Diego's face wouldn't have looked the way it did. So many what ifs that would keep running through her head and fill her up with guilt for endless nights, she was sure of it.

"Yeah, Benji, we only talked. I was in shock, I couldn't really do anything else." Well, at least she was good at lying and Benji couldn't see her face. She was sure if he could, he'd know she was lying, but through the phone, she could pull it off. "And I swear you guys are okay. It's not gonna be--- nothing's gonna happen to you, okay? She's in custody along with one of her friends and everyone's at the FBI and the US Marshall's are working on this. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine." They had to be, she could not survive losing Benji too.

She shook her head at his question and it took her a few moments to realize that he couldn't see. "I don't know. I'm not sure if even the FBI knows so far. Or maybe they do, they're just not telling me. But I'm guessing it depends on what kind of information they can get out of Vivien and her friend and what they can do in the next couple of days. But honestly, I have no idea how all of this works."

At the question of whether or not she had people, she rubbed her face, remembering Phoenix and Juliana. She had people, and then she screwed it up. Really, she could only blame herself for that. She looked over towards the bathroom door. She did have one person left, though. She was still baffled by it, especially after everything that happened recently, but somehow Diego was still on her side and there for her, and she couldn't help the small, soft smile that crept up her lips. "Yeah, I-- it's a bit complicated right now, but I have somebody. Not like that, it's not like that," she quickly added before Benji misunderstood, "but I have somebody I can count on. And I had people. I'm nowhere near where I was now, though, so who knows what's going to happen there."

She let out a chuckle when Benji told her how the proposal happened. "And all of this while I had a ring hidden in our bedroom! You know that, Gen, you helped pick it out, and he still beat me to it!" Finley fake complained and it almost felt like she was in the room with them in that moment, just telling stories and reminiscing about the past. "Can you believe it?"

"At least you guys didn't have to worry about things like rings or tradition or planning," Gen chuckled, shaking her head. "And either way, big or small wedding and celebration, I'm just really glad you guys are okay. That you guys are happy and safe and together. You guys deserved to have your happily ever after, even if it didn't exactly go as you guys planned."

"At least they helped you out with those booklets." Seemed toe FBI gave both of them the starting help. They gave her some money so she could start renting the Grub, and they helped Benji out to make sure he didn't fail during his very first class. They did help at least a little bit, even if mostly they probably ignored Benji and only cared about Gen long enough so that she would one day testify in their case. "And I'm not surprised you didn't pick up anything, but I'm proud of you for pulling it all off."

_______________________

Diego took a long shower, even if the hot water did taper out towards the end.  But it still felt good, and Diego found himself wishing he could hit a pool and just swim until his limbs gave out.  Typically when he had this much exhausted energy, he'd either swim until his brain shut off, off fuck someone nameless for the same goal.  But both were out of the question.  And the latter not just because he didn't want nameless sex anymore - not with that woman out there, who he loved so much - but also because his junk was still a little too tender for anything strenuous like that.  Dammit Vivien Salazar.

Eventually he couldn't dawdle any longer, so he rinsed off and washed his mouth as well, before putting on some clean clothes as well.  Drugstore underwear and cheesy-logo t-shirt and jogging shorts.  He looked a mess, but he'd also looked worse.  Toweling his hair, Diego emerged, knowing Gen was  still on the phone.  He gave her a half-wave, motioning for her to talk as long as she wanted.  He knew Abigail was keeping track of everything, and Abigail got a little testy whenever Diego questioned her.  They didn't really get along, even though Diego did highly respect Abigail's work ethic.

He sat at the front of the bed, opening the food bag up and pulling out his own burger and fries.  They were still a little warm, which was nice.  He settled back against the bedhead, flicking through his phone and chewing his dinner like a cow chewed cud.

Eventually though, he couldn't help listening to what Gen was saying.  His gaze was drawn to her like a magnet, watching the defeated slope of her back, her stubborn shoulders still straight.  As if she was trying to still hold it all together, for the sake of a brother who couldn't even see her.  Her dark golden hair fell over her face, in that way where Diego wanted to tuck it behind her ear.  He wanted her to feel good, just for a moment.  Hopefully, she did.  God, he hoped.

_______________________

Benji rolled his eyes. “You’ll never be able to stay awake that long,” he said before laughing a little bit. “No, but we’re good, Genny. Like... I’ll stress, but I’m not alone.” If he could have her as well, things would have been so much better. There had to be a loss though. He wasn’t going to get everything which made him happy. Honestly, he was lucky his life was at least the way which it was.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just saying. I was right about this one!” It had to happen some time. He hate that he was this time. It was easier when people would tell him that none of his anxieties were going to come true. It certainly wasn’t any help when the time it was had ended up with their family torn apart.

That was a relief. He knew how much his sister had loved Vivien. “I don’t know if I would be able to do that if it was me,” Benji admitted. Gen was stronger than he was, that much was clear. He thought he’d have done anything to get Finley back if he lost him. Letting Vivien go must have been hellish for her. “I’m proud of you,” he said softly then left it at that.

“You can’t promise that though. You can’t. Try - trying to promise that is going to won’t make things any easier for either of us.” He didn’t want to say it meant things would hurt more for both of them if something happened to the other with that reassurance.

He nodded. Things wouldn’t go instantly back to normal on the very off chance that they might. There was a lot of work which needed to be done on the side of FBI and the associated agents. “I want to see you,” he said softly. It didn’t seem like it was ever going to happen. He would give anything to hug his sister again though. “It’s not really fair. I don’t... if I don’t see mom and dad, I don’t mind, but you telling me that you’re fine doesn’t make me feel much better.”

It hadn’t struck him that it may have been like that until his sister was denying it. If she could see his face, she would have known how little he believed that. “Are you going to tell me the truth or are we going to have to pretend that I believe you? I’m hoping for the former.” Though he was counting on the latter to be true. There was a reason she was lying about this. It was difficult for him to figure out what it was.

There was a story there. He knew there was one. He attempted to think of the reasons which would cause her to lose people who cared about her. It wasn’t as if people grew tired of Gen. That made it clear there was, yet again, more than she wanted to let on.

Smiling at Finley, Benji shook his head. “Do you know how many times he’s complained about that? A ridiculous amount of times! I don’t think he’s going to let it go!” He didn’t mind if Finley did though. It made Benji feel special and everyone deserved to feel a little special sometimes. She was correct about that though. They hadn’t had to worry. “We got rings! I was okay skipping parties and ceremonies, but I had to have a ring.” It might be a simple band, but he wasn’t going to trade it for anything. He sighed. “Yeah. It would’ve been nice if you were there though. I didn’t think I would ever get to even tell you.”

It was true. He wouldn’t be able to do this without the help. “At least you can cook though. Diners.... you’ve always liked diners.” When they were younger, the three of them - including Olivia, of course - would go off to diners whenever they had the chance to. Was that gone now? Shit. Change the subject, Benji! He cleared his throat. “I’m not a good teacher, but I could be worse. That’s what I tell myself.”

_______________________

Hearing Benji say that he was proud of her because Gen didn't do anything other than talk to Vivien felt like a punch to the gut, but she didn't want to go back and explain herself, not now, not after this. Even if he said he might have not been able to do that, she felt like he would have been disappointed and angry at him if she actually told the truth and really, she didn't want the rest of their conversation to be about her mistake. So she just buried her face into her palm and tried desperately to not make a sound that suggested anything was up or that she was feeling extremely guilty on that moment.

She instead focused on what she said next. "Okay, that's fair, I can't promise you that, but I can promise you that I would try my best. How's that sound, hmm? I will try to do my best to make sure I don't do anything to get you or me in any kind of trouble or hurt. And in return, you do the same?" She doubted he could ever actually do anything to get himself in trouble, though. It was her who kept finding trouble wherever she went.

I want to see you. Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of that. "Yeah, I want to see you too." She wasn't sure if it could ever be possible, but she also wasn't sure if talking to Benji could ever be possible, so maybe with time it could happen as well. "I am not sure how all of this is gonna go, what's going to happen, but maybe if everything goes okay, I could go visit you guys? Or you could come to me wherever I will end up being? If the people who decide what happens to us deem it safe to do it, of course."

God, he saw right through her. They haven't spoken in years and they were who even knows how many hundred miles apart, and yet he still knew her, he still saw right through her and it warmed her heart to know that it wasn't something that could be lost. Sometimes she wondered if it was possible, if you could unknow a person if you don't see them long enough, but it felt like Benji just proved that theory wrong in a way.

If she would have been fully alone and knew Benji was alone as well, she would have probably talked to Benji about Diego, too, but with Diego coming out of the bathroom this very moment (how did he have such impeccable timing?) and knowing that the other agent hearing things could get Diego in trouble, she opted to say, "can we go with the second one?" And because she didn't want him to feel like she was trying to keep something from him, she quickly added, "it's a bit complicated and a really long story, so I don't wanna get into it over the phone. Maybe next time?"

She knew offering this was wishful thinking, more of a hope than a sure thing, but she also felt like treating their conversation as a once in a lifetime opportunity would have only turned this entire conversation into something even sadder and more tragic than it was, and neither of them needed that for a moment.

Diego got his foot and sat down next to her against the headboard and Gen scooted over a little bit to give him more space, crossing her legs under herself as she shifted position and got herself more comfortable. She shot a warm, happy smile towards him while she was listening to Benji talk about their wedding, and then she couldn't help but reach over and steal a few fries from him and pop it into her mouth after mouthing an apology and a thank to him.

"Yeah, I wish I could have been there, but I'm just glad to hear about it too. Nobody told me whether Finley was with you or not, so it's just nice to hear and know that you haven't been alone all this time. And-- well, I don't know, maybe one day you can show me some pictures. Or just show me those rings yourself. Maybe." It felt so surreal to sound so optimistic or hopeful, but if a call could happen, why couldn't anything else, right?

She chuckled slightly. "Yeah, sure, I can cook, but I got a cook who was 10 times better than I was, people loved his food. Well, they still love it, that just sounded like he died when really he didn't, nothing like that happened, just bad word choices. And now i'm rambling, sorry. Anyway, do you guys have any pets? Did you ever get a dog?" They spent their entire childhood wanting a dog but being told they can't by their parents, and she knew Finley and Benji were thinking about adopting one before everything turned to shit. It would have felt natural for her that after a while they went back to that route and found a sweet puppy for themselves.

_______________________

Their best was the only thing they could offer one another. It was fucked up. Benji hated this situation. He had settled into a sort of compliance. He hadn’t liked it, but he’d grown used to it. Now, there was this. He was actually able to communicate with one of the people who mattered most to him in the world. He had Finley, of course, and he loved him with his whole heart. But it wasn’t the same. His family was gone and... then the one person that he still held in that regard was on the other end of the line for however short of a time period this would be. He wished there was a way to prolong it.

“Of course I’m not going to get either of us in trouble. Well, the three of us.” He shot Finley a gentle smile. “If you thought that I was cautious before, you should see me now.” It wasn’t always a good thing. It was probably helpful for Abigail though. He figured working with himself and Finely was an easy job.

Benji bit his lower lip. For a moment, he considered breaking the rules. He could find a way to contact her outside of this... there had to be a way. Perhaps he could convince Abigail to - no. She was more staunch on the rules than he was. Before meeting her, he hadn’t thought it possible. “I don’t know. I just - I know that you’re safe. All I want to do is see you. I just have to see you. Hug you.” That way, he could make sure that she was really there. It might not make sense to a lot of people, but it made sense to him.

Complicated? Most things with Gen were complicated. She was a bit odd in a lot of ways, but so was he. They had that in common. He wanted to point out that there was no guarantee for there to be a next time. He almost did. Instead, he simply sighed. “Fine, but next time, I’m going to lead with that. I’m just gonna ask you to promise that you didn’t fuck someone you shouldn’t have again. I had build my life up twice. I’m not going it a third.” The subject could be dropped there. Benji held up his hand. “But it’s done. It’s over. There’s no going back.”

He smiled, knowing that she wanted him to be truly happy more than anyone else would. “Yeah. It would have been much better if I threw up on your shoes rather than a member of the FBI, but...” he trailed off and laughed. “Maybe. And you know what I’m going to want you to do if we’re ever able to see each other again -“ It sounded a lot more realistic when she said it, “- which is that you make a grilled cheese because nobody can master it the same way you do.” He paused. “I also want to see you smile.” For as much as Genevieve wanted him to be happy, he wanted it for on the very same level.

“Your diner, what’d it called. Tell me all about it. Don’t spare any of the details.” There was no way he was going to hear everything about the past few years. If they focused on one thing, however, they would never make any progress. “Any - anything that’s good. Tell me about the good things.”

The mention of a dog had Benji looking over to the one curled up in his husband’s lap. “Her name is Missy. I don’t know what her breed is... other than small. What about you? Are you a parent?” He paused. “To a small furry animal because if there’s a human child in your life and you didn’t choose to lead with that, I might have to kill you.”

_______________________

Diego tried not to listen too hard in on the conversation.  It was technically his right as Gen's handler, but he didn't want to make it seem like he was eavesdropping, after he told Gen he'd give her privacy.  When she scooted next to him though, he figured she didn't mind him picking up the conversation here and there if it happened.  It struck him, suddenly, how...domestic this was.  Both of them relaxed back on the same bed, having dinner, Gen chatting on the phone with her brother while he checked his own phone.  It would've been almost normal, if it wasn't for the fact that they were hiding out in a motel to protect Gen from possible attacks, and her brother was in a secret location, hidden for the same reason.

Diego took out Gen's food for her, and laid it out on the paper bag.  She could take as many fries from her own pack as she wanted, but she wasn't getting any more of his.

When she asked about her brother's pets, it reminded Diego again - damn.  That hedgehog.  He knew Gen asked Flo to look after it but he really should drive into town tomorrow and pick the thing up, as well as his remaining belongings and some of Gen's - Darcy's things.    First he'd talk to Al to inquire about the fate of the diner and if there was anything to be done about it.

_______________________

"Good. All three of us should be good then." Gen didn't doubt that Benji was sticking to all the rules and keeping everything in order. In that regard, Diego might have been luckier if he was assigned to her brother instead of her. He wouldn't have had to deal with things like her running off to LA without a word or warning. A lot less headache and a guns pointing at his face. Would have been a real treat.

"If it's ever going to be possible, we'll make it work however we can and then I'm going to hug the shit out of you. You'll be complaining and asking me to let you go," she joked. "But until then, Finley, would you give him a hug for me?" She could hear some rustling of clothes and moving on the other side of the phone and she smiled to herself for a moment. "Done." "Thanks."

Promise that you didn't fuck someone you shouldn't have. Right in the middle of it. It was like Benji just knew what went down for a few months between Diego and her. And then it hit her. Again. She did it again, she fell in love with somebody she shouldn't have. Did she have a type? Did she somehow draw in people that she shouldn't have and get attached? Granted, she couldn't have possibly known that Vivien would bring such horrors into her and her family's life, but she did in fact know Diego and her probably shouldn't have done what they did, she just didn't care, because no matter what Diego says about it being wrong, it wasn't. It couldn't have. Not after everything that happened and everything she felt.

(It was interesting how out of the two of these relationship, one of them looked so perfect, so right in the beginning only for the holes to show up and reveal just how wrong it was, while in the beginning it felt like there was nothing but holes between Diego and her that they needed to patch up and work through, but in the end it turned out to be so good and so important. For her at least. And even if it was only important for her, she still cherrished every memory, every moment.)

Through all of this she was watching Diego move back over to the food bag and take out her dinner too, probably glad to see her trying to actually eat without nudging after she stole some of his fries and wanting to make sure it wouldn't disappear or she wouldn't end up eating his food instead (she mouthed a quick thank you to him once he settled back onto the bed), and really, maybe according to the rules of his job, what they did was wrong, but she didn't regret any of it. She just regretted that if any of it got out, she could get him in trouble with it.

She was definitely not going to say any of that to Benji, though, not with Diego hearing it and definitely not with Benji and Finley's agent hearing it. She just replied in a cheerful tone, "I promise, I promise. You won't have to rebuild your life again, I didn't do anything stupid." Partial truths, they could work wonders.

She let out a small chuckle. "I would normally not approve of you throwing up on my shoes, but yeah, I would have preferred that scenario over anything else. And of course I'll make you all the grilled cheese you want, but only if you won't leave my side cause I won't be willing to stay too far from you." Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but even if it was just a small dream that wouldn't happen, it was nice to be able to talk about it with Benji.

"Hey, I smile!" Gen objected and purposefully did not look at Diego because she didn't want to see him look at her skeptically. Sunnymead and the townsfolk had that effect. When she first arrived, she didn't think she would ever smile again, but they worked their magic and changed that. They helped her a lot, without even realizing it. "Not all the time, sure, but there are moments. You can't see it, but I am smiling right now. Your voice kind of has that effect." In that moment it felt like if she could only keep talking to him, she could smile forever.

"No diner names, or any other location names that could be followed up," Gen heard the woman interject sternly when Benji asked about the Grub and she cleared her tone. "Okay, okay, no names, I promise. Good things - I got it on a lease, I fixed it up when I got there originally and somehow it became the town's staple. I heard so many rumors and gossips there, you have no idea. Got some really good people working for me. I also live above it. Well, lived. I keep forgetting to use the past term."

She was glad at least one of them could finally get the dog they've always wanted. "I'm sure she's the cutest of the cutest. And no, I don't have a kid, don't worry, I'm not holding out on you," she couldn't help but laugh at his suggestion of having a kid, even though a part of her heart was bleeding over it, knowing that for such a long time that hasn't been an option for her. "But I do have a little animal, though she's not so furry. It's a hedgehog and her name is Vex."

_______________________

As far as Benji was concerned, he wasn’t going to complain about her hugging him when (if) they saw each other again. He’d done so in the past, but this was different. There hasn’t been the constant contact which had been present in the past. Even then, he hadn’t done more than dramatically sigh and make a bigger deal of it than it truly was. He’d be far too busy taking her in were they to get that opportunity.

Leaning into Finley, Benji shook his head. “Oh, come on. I’m not going to complain. I know I... kind of complain a lot, but I’m going to probably cry if I ever get to see you again...” He wasn’t counting on it, but Abigail wasn’t objecting so it might be possible.

There was a pause before she answered and Benji could feel his anxiety rising. He knew his sister well. This seemed to mean that she was hiding something. Interrogation wasn’t the move though. They had limited to communicate. If all of Benji’s time was spent doing that, he would kick himself.

He hummed nonetheless, an even tone which made it perfectly clear that he didn’t believe her. There was no pushing though. He didn’t want to stress her. “Alright. Consider the subject dropped. No more discussions of your sex life in front of all of these people.” Which didn’t mean it was truly dropped, simply (hopefully) pushed off to a later date.

“Trust me. Do you honestly think that I’m going to go anywhere but where you are? No. I’d hole up wherever we were and here every detail about your life while I gave you every detail of mine.”

Benji laughed. “Remember how Mom used to joke that me and Liv were the only ones who could get you to smile?” It was an exaggeration, sure, but it was fun to joke about... even if the mention of their sister made him feel like there was a hold in his heart which would never be filled. “I’m smiling like an idiot. I’d say Finley could confirm, but he’d argue that I wasn’t an idiot like he always does.”

Furrowing his brows, Benji stared at Abigail. He had never argued with her in the past. It wasn’t in him. However, this? This was grinding on his last nerve. He couldn’t hear most of the things about his sister’s life and he hadn’t asked to. He just wanted to know the name, so that he could picture in his mind. There were so many gaps which he wanted filled. It was a small one, but it seemed there was a problem with that.

“Yeah, Abigail. I know. It’s the one diner in the whole country which has that name. Hearing the name of a diner, would put us both in imminent danger! I forgot that I didn’t have any control over my life!”

The outburst was uncharacteristic of him, but he was realizing now how over this he was. He missed his sister. Was the conversation allowed any depth? He sighed. Perhaps he should apologize to Abigail. He didn’t.

He nodded. “So was it like an HGTV show? The ones we used to get wine drunk and say we were going to do? You did that!” Benji frowned. Though he didn’t have to rebuild his life again, Gen did and he hated the concept of it. She’d had a good life then... it got fucked up. This time, he couldn’t even rationalize it in his brain as something that she had done. It was all one big mess. He could hardly understand that. “Are you at least allowed to tell me about the gossip?” A hedgehog? “Like the tiny porcupines?” he asked.

_______________________

Gen let out a small chuckle. "Alright, we'll be attached at the hip and just talk through every little detail we missed. I like the sound of that."

Her smile softened at the mention of Liv and her heart ached a bit at the thought that she couldn't be in this call, that they could never see her again. "Yeah, and Liv made those badges for it after and you guys wore it everywhere for like a week." They would have to talk about Olivia at some point. They probably should be talking about her and what happened now, if she was being honest, but this felt too good, too nice to go down that path. Maybe if they could ever meet and get drunk together. That was the kind of conversation that would require a lot of alcohol.

"He really isn't an idiot, but he is smiling like one," came the confirmation from Finley and Gen smiled. They were both smiling and happy to enjoy a simple phone call, even just a couple of hours ago it didn't feel like it could be possible, so it was great to know that there could still be happy moments amidst all of this. Well, thank to Diego. All of this could only happen because of Diego and she wasn't sure how she could ever thank him for this. She'd need to figure something out.

Gen winced at the sound of Benji snapping at the handler, but even more so when he said he didn't have any control over his life. It wasn't life him, to snap at people like this, but it also hit her that it has been years since she's seen or talked to Benji and she couldn't possibly know what kind of changes he went through. And being forced into a situation like this... it would have made sense, if Benji snapped at people more. But even if this was just a one time thing coming out of frustration of how the two of them couldn't even have a simple conversation without somebody else butting in and telling them what they can and can't talk about... she did this to him. She caused him to lose complete control over his life and it was sheer luck and persistence that they allowed Finley to be there with him instead of dropping him off somewhere else and leaving her brother completely alone.

Fuck, she hated how much pain she caused him, how much she ruined his life.

She rubbed her face, feeling the tiredness and the guilt creep in, even though she was trying to not think about it. At least until they had to hang up, she wanted to enjoy just talking to Benji without feeling horrible, she could do that later.

Unfortunately, it came earlier, way too early than how she would have liked, because when Benji brought up the gossips, she could hear some movement from the other side of the phone and then the handler's voice came, "Alright, if you want to hear about gossip, I think it's time you two wrap it up. The call already went longer than you two were originally allowed, so say your goodbyes. We don't want anyone accidentally tapping into these phones and track either of you."

"Fuck," she muttered and she could feel a panic rising inside of her because she didn't want to hang up, she wanted to keep talking to Benji and with not knowing when or if she could ever talk to him again or see him again, this felt a little bit like losing him all over again. But she also didn't want to push the boundaries because this has already been more than she could ever imagine and now she knew that he was okay. She knew he was good and happy and safe and this was not enough and more than enough at the same time.

"Fuck, okay, Benji, I love you. I can't believe I didn't start with this, but I love you so much and I'm really sorry for all of this and I am so happy you're doing okay and just-- fuck, I miss you and I love you. I don't know what else I could say."

_______________________

It was likely exactly what Benji should have expected given his reaction earlier, but it didn't make hearing that their conversation was over now. He clenched his jaw and was refusing to make eye contact with Abigail. He felt like he was going to cry and he would be damned if he did it in front of her. It wasn't her fault, not really, but he needed someone to blame she could take the heat of that.

He felt like he was going to vomit. Running his fingers through his hair, he let out a shaky breath. "I love you too. More than fucking..." he paused, to try and get as much control over his voice as possible. Though, Benji knew he hardly had any time to do. "More than anything. I miss you and I don't know if it's better or worse now," he had to admit. "But I wouldn't trade this for anything. I love you, Gen. This is so fucking unfair."

With that, he got up and left the room, knowing that Abigail would hang up the phone and Finley would see her out. He didn't want to deal with a second more of this.

_______________________

Gen could hear Benji's voice shaking and fuck, she wished she could be there to comfort him and hug him and make sure he was okay, but then if she was there, they wouldn't be in this predicament either. And it hurt, having to say goodbye because she wanted to keep talking, but at the same time it felt like the entire conversation filled her up with a new kind of energy she didn't think she could have. So she listened to Benji and nodded and she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes, but at the same time she was smiling.

And then the call was over and she just sat there for a few moments, staring at the now dark phone in her hand and didn't have the faintest clue what to do or say after this. The conversation kept replaying in her mind and she hoped Finley was already there for Benji and helping him and more than anything she hoped this wasn't the last time. Vivien was arrested, they had to be slowly getting out of this, right? There had to be an end to this somehow.

Then again, maybe in two days she would be told that she would need to get relocated once again and she would become Jenna Sills or some other random person next. She wished she would have even the slightest bit of control over her life and she wouldn't be in the dark constantly.

She took a deep breath and shook herself out of these thoughts, even if just for a few moments, and finally turned to Diego with a small smile and handed the phone back to him. "Thank you, seriously. This... I don't think thank you si really expressive enough to emphasize how much this meant to me, but nothing else really comes to my mind, so just thank you."

_______________________

One thing Diego didn't take into consideration was the possibility that allowing Gen a phone call meant that it could end up making her even more unhappy, after the initial elation of speaking with her brother.  He watched her carefully, gauging her quiet devastation that she was so good at repressing.  She'd been practicing it for four years now, of course it was like second nature to her.  He said nothing until she spoke first, and then he just listened.

Granted, she didn't talk about herself, but then that was so like Gen, wasn't it.  Both Gen and Darcy - they both put people before themselves, thought about other people first.  Not in any sort of self-sacrificial way, but in a way that just meant her heart was full of others.  She was used to thinking about other people, being empathetic, taking care of them. It fulfilled her to help, as much as it helped others.  Even her thank yous to him were kind and considerate.  When she wasn't yelling at him for some indignity or the other, she could actually be quite generous with her kindness.

As if he didn't know that already.

A smile tugged his lips, and Diego moved the food between them to reach and arm around her shoulders.  He tugged her to lean against him, and he pressed his mouth against her damp hair on the crown of her head.  She felt fragile and birdlike right now, so small and broken.

"So...he's got a - a - a husband? Is that what they call 'em?  Husband and...what, husband?"  He asked, awkward, ignorant, and curious.  "I didn't really realize that the both of you were like, y'know.  I didn't realize more than one sibling could be, uh..."  But even as he said it, he was pretty sure it was a stupid thing to say.

_______________________

It was a new kind of torture to have Diego pull Gen close against him, knowing it was just to comfort her after the emotional rollercoaster that was the last 24 hours and especially after the call just ended. She knew she was a mess and she knew that Diego could see it all over her face. She didn't even try to hide things from him anymore, there didn't seem to be any point. He seemed to have learned how to read her like an open book. So even if the memories of the times they've spent in each other's arms flashed back in front of her eyes, she knew this was different. She also knew she should pull back and not let herself enjoy it, it wouldn't end well for her emotionally, but she also couldn't just entangle herself from Diego somehow, so she just closed her eyes and try to forget about everything around them.

It didn't last too long, however, because then Diego started talking awkwardly, and Gen's eyes grew wider and wider at what he was saying. She pulled away and fully turned towards him, frowning in confusion and surprise. "Jesus Christ, Diego, you are so painfully straight," she couldn't help saying, her face still full of disbelief. He didn't say any of it with malice, he didn't intend to hurt anyone, and it wasn't about him being against it either, he just asked something he didn't know about because he never needed a reason to learn and get to know more, and it showed in his question. A lot.

"I don't even know where to start." She picked up her burger - it was cold at this point, but she didn't really care, she was just glad she could eat something. She took a bite to have at least something in her stomach and then started munching on her fries while she started talking. "Yes, they are husband and husband, unless they prefer something else, I'm not sure, I didn't ask them. All of the marriage and proposal happened after... well, sort of during the beginning of the relocation process, so I wasn't there for any of it. Not that any of that part really matters in the whole family question that you just..." She let out a sigh, she was rambling and she didn't even know where to even begin, it was such a surprising thing in that moment. Then again, maybe that was his goal with this, to get her out of the stupor and get her to think about something else, even if that something else was explaining to Diego that more than one person in the family could be part of the LGBTQ+ community.

"Okay, so there aren't any genes or rules or laws of the universe that say that only one person in the family can be non-straight. It just... happens. Sort of like how sometimes a family has three boys and no girls, and then another family has one girl and a boy and the mix could go on and on. It depends on the person and not the family."

"Also, you can say the word gay, it's not an insult. You can also say queer, to me at least, it generally stands on shaky legs, some people love it and embrace it, some people take it as an insult, so don't throw that word around before making sure the person you're talking to is okay with it. But it's okay with me."

_______________________

Diego held Gen and what was more important, Gen didn't resist him.  It seemed like all the animosity and frustration that had built up between them over the last few weeks had dissipated completely.  It made sense in a way - after dealing with the insanity that was Vivien Salazar showing up out of nowhere and kidnapping poor Juliana, a spat over something that was no longer relevant seemed...well.  No longer relevant.

And then there was the matter of Gen sleeping with Vivien.  Given that Diego was a king of making poor sexual choices throughout his entire adult life, he'd be a hypocrite to feel angry about that.  Plus, while he and Darcy had been cooling their heels, he'd slept with Rita.  Maybe in some weird, twisted way, Darcy sleeping with Vivien was just tit for tat.  Granted, sleeping with Vivien was a disastrous choice, but not something that Diego had to deal with.  That was something Gen herself would have to deal with - emotionally and mentally.

So it felt calmer, watching Gen eat the cold burger, and then sit up to give him one of her patented annoyed and slightly pitying looks.  He blinked back at her, stealing some of her fries now, and eating them.  "What?  You say 'straight' like it's an insult," he said, using the most stereotypical hurt-feelings comeback that straight people used, when queer people called them straight.

But he did listen attentively when Gen explained, with the patience of a saint, about how it all worked.  There was very little he knew about Benjamin Soto's casefile, other than the basics. It was all in the name of protecting, and keeping the Sotos safe.  So he didn't realize Benjamin swung that way, and he really didn't realize that the 'husband' had been put under witness relocation as well.  Truth was, Diego had completely forgotten that gay marriage was even legal, and he had to remind himself at this point.  He could only imagine how loud his nieces would be berating him right now for being so clueless.  They'd be saying similar things to him as Darcy, only with more 'oh my god, Tio, you're so dumb' thrown in for good measure.

"Hunh," he grunted, but squinted in amusement when Gen gave him permission to use such verboten (in his mind) words.  "I dunno, honey.  In Texas, 'queer' is still used like an insult.  But...I guess that's mostly just among us straight people, huh."  He didn't sound angry or anything, just wry.  As if he was making some sort of point (he wasn't; or rather, his point wasn't interesting).  "I guess...well I guess it'd be like having three kids, and all of 'em are straight, huh?  No one ever points out how weird that is, do they."

_______________________

Gen let out a long sigh and tilted her head at Diego as she gave him a look. This wasn't the first time she's heard this response, though given how the last couple of years have been going, she hasn't heard it in a while. "I don't say straight as an insult, Diego, I say it as a fact. Cause you are one. Which is showing a whole lot right now."

He listened to her, though. It was one thing she could never say about him is that he wouldn't listen. He was ignorant and he happily lived in his own heterosexual bubble because it was easy, but when the topic came up and she tried explaining something to him, he always listened. Back when she told him she was pansexual, and now too. He was trying to understand, he just didn't really go out of his way to do so when he didn't have to or it didn't come up.

"Yeah, well, straight people like using these words as insults way too often, if you ask me. So if it's an insult in your mind, then definitely don't use it, everyone will be able to tell you're using it as such. But at the same time you should just accept them and think of them as not insults. They are just the people's sexualities, nothing else."

"You said one of your nieces was on the spectrum, right?" she asked. She thought she remembered Diego mention it to her during their last similar conversation, but she wasn't sure if she remembered wrong. "Do you talk about these things with her?"

She ate some fries as she thought of Benji and Finley. They are what started this whole conversation. "I didn't know they got married, by the way. My brother and his boyfriend. Well, husband now. Finley - that's his husband's name -, asked me to help look for rings not too long before everything happened, but I wasn't sure if he got put in the witness protection, too, and if they got to stay together or not. But this was the best-case scenario. At least they were together and they could help each other through it."

_______________________

Diego grinned then and shrugged.  "I gotta be me...which I suddenly get now.  The ga- the people who aren't straight gotta be them too.  My nieces would be so proud of me now."  He seemed contented at Darcy's advice to not try and use the words she used so freely.  From her, 'gay' and 'queer' sounded free-flowing, comfortable.  Coming out of his mouth, he knew it would just sound unnatural, borderline insulting.  He laughed lowly when she asked about his nieces.

"On the spectrum..." he said, once more a term that was very novel to him.  Sex was a big part of his life, and the idea that there was a spectrum applied to it?  His poor straight mind boggled at the concept.  "Jesus christ, are you kidding me?  I'm their Uncle, Gen.  Kids don't want to talk to their uncles about that sort of shit.  And frankly I don't want to hear about it."  Before Gen got that tight disappointed look on her face, he raised his hand to add,  "What I mean is, I stay clear out of their entire dating and love lives and all that...grown-up stuff, as much as I can.  They might technically be adults now but they're still little girls to me.  They got their own friends to talk like that." He huffed.

"The only time they bring it up is just to make me and their mother all huffy.  For their own entertainment."  He didn't seem particularly bothered about this, though.  That was what nieces did - they poked fun of older family members for, well, being older.  Curiously, he asked,  "Do your folks know?  About you, or your brother?  Did you have to..." Diego searched for the term.  "Come...out?"

He supposed there was no harm now in Gen knowing that the brother and his...fella were married, or whatever.  Everything had to be so hush-hush for so long, it was good she got a few factoids to feed off of for the next few months of hell.  And Diego realized then, how much it sucked that she missed the wedding.  If there even was a wedding.

"That's true," he conceded, finishing up his food and then exhaling slowly.  "C'mon, let's go have a smoke out on the balcony."  He stood up, grabbing his pack of smokes from the desk.  "Also I just realized there's only one bed. And I didn't ask if you'd be okay with that."

_______________________

The big grin plastered on Diego's face as it all seemed to click for him was cute, even if all of this was a ridiculous conversation that Gen did not think they would be having this night out of all of it. But he was trying and he seemed to be taking small steps towards the right direction, which was definitely a good start. Gen let out a small chuckle at his indignation that he would be talking about his nieces sex lives with them. "I didn't mean about their sex lives, Diego, obviously you wouldn't wanna hear about that, I meant..." But she shook her head with a small smile. "Nevermind." She meant more about what it meant not being straight, but this was probably best to just let it go.

"Yeah, they know," she nodded as she ate the last of her fries. "I didn't really have a typical coming out experience, though. Benji had it all figured out a lot faster and a lot younger, I needed more time figure all of it, all of me, out, and by the time I got there I also realized just how little my parents were present in our lives. And to be fair to them, they did what they thought were best for us, which was work their butts off and provide us with financial security, but it meant they weren't really around, so I didn't really feel like I was required to have that proper sit down where I told them I was pansexual. I didn't lie to them, I just didn't openly tell them. They figured it out when I brought Vivien home for introductions."

It was more like when she announced she was bringing her home, which was probably for the best because a huge fight broke out after it that came down to 'why did you lie to us for years and years about this?' as if they were entitled to something so personal. She didn't really care about their reactions, but she remembered that she was glad Vivien didn't walk into that fight when they went over for a family dinner and she did question back then if not openly telling her parents before that was a mistake or not. And then she didn't see her parents for months after that dinner like it usually went, and she decided she probably did the right thing.

"Oh, god, yes, I'm in," Gen said as she pushed herself up from the bed at the thought of a smoke. "I'm guessing asking for some whiskey along with it would be impossible, right?" she joked, but that would have probably helped a lot with her mind in that moment, even if she knew unless Diego snuck in something under his coat, they wouldn't be drinking tonight.

And then he pointed out that there was only one bed for the two of them, which really should have registered for her sooner - he was spending his time here with her, he was taking a shower in this room's bathroom, of course this was both of their rooms and they would have to share it, what was she even thinking? But somehow she was way too occupied to notice and process any of this information, and she stopped for a moment as she heard those words because really?

Really?

It already felt like some kind of torture, the way he was being so nice and he was trying to comfort her through all of this, and now sleeping in the same bed together? The last time they were in a bed together, they fell asleep in each other's arms after spending a really long time ravishing each other and chasing the same pleasures, and now... fuck. She was fucked.

And she couldn't show any of this because he would offer to just sleep on the damn floor and then she couldn't ever convince him to come sleep on the bed cause he was stubborn like that.

So after the momentary freezing she quickly pulled herself together. "We're adults, right? And it's a big enough bed, anyway, there's enough room for both of us." They headed outside and Gen leaned against the railing and while Diego lit both of their cigarettes, she took the sight in - which was mostly the motel's weirdly lit pool and the buildings around them -, and then pushed herself up onto the railing. They were on the first floor and the railing was wide enough, she was good.

"Unless you would feel uncomfortable, in which case you are taking the bed and I'm taking the floor. And before you object, your face has a whole different color now and I'm pretty sure your dick suffered even more so, while the worst thing that happened to me is that I got a little scared. You don't need back pain added to the list of shit that happened to your body."

She was quiet for a few moments, taking a couple of drags from the cigarette and listening to the sounds of the city around them before she asked, "Do you ever think about what's the whole point of all of this? Everyone suffers through so much bullshit in their lives just for a few fleeting moments of happiness, and then all of it becomes pointless because you become nothing in the end anyway."

_______________________

Diego was about to ask how Gen's parents took it, when she brought a woman home for them to meet.  But although it seemed like Gen was able to bring up the mention of the memory with not too much issues, this was definitely not a good time to make Gen think even more about her past with Vivien Salazar.  It could too easily spiral into Gen feeling guilty and stupid for being duped by Vivien for all that time, blaming herself for everything that happened to her family.

So instead, he just nodded in understanding.  "Parents can be tricky," he said vaguely.  A moment of silence and then he added,  "I suppose we have that in common, sort of.  I'm closer to my sister than I am to my mother.  Or father, when he was alive."  It wasn't always the case, but Diego always considered his childhood to be complicated but completely normal at the same time.  He said he loved his family - he was Latino, of course he loved his family - but it hadn't been difficult to move into law enforcement and travel for work.

Getting up (and minutely thrilled that Gen was going to join him for a smoke), Diego chuckled as Gen asked about whiskey.  "I don't think the motel stocks a minibar, no.  We'll have to make do with sobriety."  In the dimness of the room, he didn't notice Gen's apprehension about the one bed, or he didn't read into it too deeply.  Perhaps because he also felt someone antsy about it, if only because they'd been fighting before Vivien showed up, and technically had called their whole...sleeping-together thing off.

Hadn't they?  Everything had changed, when Vivien showed up.  The reasons for Diego's anger no longer mattered.  Did the reasons still matter to Gen?  He wasn't sure how long she could hold on to old fights, but he supposed he'd know by tonight.

Fortunately it seemed like Gen chose to take the high road, and Diego was more than fine with that.  He handed her one lit cigarette and leaned against the corridor railing,.  "Okay.  That sounds fine," he said, when Gen laid it out so reasonably.  He puffed, wondering if he should mention assurances that he wouldn't touch her or try to make any moves on her while they were in bed - god, he felt so confused about where they stood on their...thing together.  But it was hardly the most important problem that either he or Gen had right now - but then Gen kept talking.  Or rather, in her trademark way, she started overthinking it.

He choked on his cigarette when she casually mentioned his dick, and Diego coughed indignantly.  "My bit and tackle are in fine working order, thank you very much, madam," he said huffily, his manhood clearly feeling threatened (albeit in a comical way).  "It just ain't gonna be directed at you, is all."  He winced when he said that last bit.  He'd meant it to mean he wasn't going to try and get frisky, put Gen in a position where she felt she had to reject intimacy.  Which would be understandable and her right.  But it just came out weird and petty.

He leaned his back against the railing to face her.  "What I mean is, I'm fine.  I can sleep on the floor if that's what you prefer.  No way in hell I'm letting you sleep on any fucking floor, and don't argue with me about women doing what men can do or whatever.  This is simply because - because maybe I got beat up on the face...and other parts of me.  But you got beat up inside, and in your head.  And you know what doctors always say - internal injuries are worse than external ones."

Of course, Diego took that out of context, since he didn't mean Gen's internal organs, but rather her emotional and mental beatdown.  "So that hurt head of yours deserves a nice...creaky, springy, misshapen bed more'n I do.  No argument, Gen, I mean it."

Gen's questions turned philosophical then, and Diego welcomed the change of pace.  He smoked slowly then.  "This is a conversation best had over a bottle of whiskey," he said.  "But since we don't have a whiskey, then...I think what you've gone through is extraordinary, Gen.  As in, I don't think it's what most people have to deal with.  Not to downplay other people's shit - I know you wouldn't like me doing that - but I'm just saying more people's ups and downs at least have context and they can reference the same shit around them to know how to deal with their own shit.  You?  What on god's green earth would ever prepare you for your girlfriend turning out to be a crime boss?  That's not normal shit.  That's one in a million. That's extraordinary."

He stubbed his cigarette out.  "Guess you're just special that way, honey."

_______________________

Gen watched Diego with careful consideration as he mentioned that parents could be difficult, and then mentioned his dad. She could only remember him mentioning him once before, and it was in not so positive light, and she wanted to ask about him, see if she could get Diego to talk about his family and his parents a little more, understand where he was coming from better, but then decided to go into a completely different route. "You don't really talk about them," she said. "Your parents, mainly, but your family in general either. Is that because this is a job and you don't want to let too much information slip out, or you just don't like talking about them in general?"

She was expecting Diego's reply about the whiskey, but she was still disappointed he wasn't hiding even just a little bit of alcohol somewhere hidden on him. If there was a night to get drunk and try to forget everything, it was this night for sure. "The motel should definitely think about it. The minibar is one of the easiest way to overcharge the customers, and I assume a lot of their customers would be delighted to splurge on the cheapest thing they could possibly find." It's probably for the better, though. She wouldn't need a headache the next morning - either the FBI would have more questions and dealing with them with a hangover would be a bitch, or some other official business that she'd need to do that she would be better for sober.

She chuckled at his indignation and him calling her madam, but her smile didn't last long. It just ain't gonna be directed at you, is all. He needed to make sure she knew just because they were sleeping in the same bed potentially, nothing changed between them. And in general, she respected him for it, not wanting to betray Rita like that. But on the other hand, the reminder was like a cold bucket of water being suddenly poured all over her body. For a few moments she could just forget about it, but now she was painfully brought back down to reality and she didn't know how to react. Except for the annoyed, quiet muttering that she couldn't help letting slip out from under her nose, "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on jumping you or anything," and then took a long, hard drag of the cigarette.

Thankfully he kept talking, though, and so she focused on that instead of the stupid way her heart panged and how for the first time she wondered if maybe Diego not sticking around and not being there for her through all of this would be better. She would miss him, Jesus fuck she would miss him, but at least she wouldn't be reminded constantly of what she fucked up and could never have.

She tilted her head, giving Diego a look. "You know that's about internal bleeding and my organs, not my mental state, right?" Her voice was just a touch bit sharp and annoyed. She didn't mean to carry over the annoyance that she felt after his comment, but she couldn't help it, it just came out. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to get her shit together. "And when have I ever not argued with you? Really, Diego, you are not sleeping on the floor, I'm not going to let that happen. I will kick you up onto the damn bed if I have to," she said, the last of her words more teasing than anything else.

"So you won't let me sleep on the floor, I won't let you sleep on the floor, we're back to being adults and sleeping in the same bed, huh?" It was going to be a torture and she felt even more grateful for the possibility of a sleeping pill. She could just take it and push through the time while it hits and then she wouldn't spend the entire night not only reliving everything that happened in the past 24 hours, but also over-analyzing Diego sleeping a few inches from her.

"See? I told you we would need whiskey," she joked but she listened to Diego quietly while smoking, purposefully ignoring him calling her honey again. She was wondering how long she could take it. She already just wanted to snap at him and tell him to stop calling her that because it was messing with her head. "I don't wanna be special like this. But I guess nobody would. It's funny, though. I used to want to be special. And I don't mean that I wanted to be a princess when I was four, even though I did, but I-- I wanted to be that one in a million. I wanted to prove to everyone around me that I could be that one person who just rises and rises and rises to the top and becomes outstanding." She let out a bitter chuckle. "I guess I became outstanding in a very different meaning of the word. And now all I wanna be is normal, and that's the one thing that isn't in the cards."

She shook her head. "Fuck, my head is full of... all of this bullshit. I can't-- I just can't. Tell me something fun. Something good that made you happy or made you laugh or something. Anything that isn't related to... all of this. Please."

_______________________

"A little of both, I suppose,"  Diego replied with a half-shrug.  He'd never really had friends, ergo he never really talked about his family.  Even when it came to falling in love - with Helena - she'd known him growing up, and when they met as adults, they were in a situation far too dire to reminisce about their pasts.  "You're the first person who's asked so many dang questions."  He said it gruffly, but not meanly.  He gave a low laugh when she tried to lighten the mood, talk about profit for the motel via minibars.

"Maybe the rooms usually do have minibars.  But this motel's used a lot for federal business, so I'll bet you they remove the minibar whenever they know a fed's taking up the room.  Too many of us are alcoholics and your tax money shouldn't go to pay for our drinking problems."  He was teasing lightly of course, just going off of Gen's own riffing.

Because what she said next (completely due to his own faux pas) made everything feel tense again.  "That's not what I --oh forget it.  We should just - right.  Yea.  Let's just be adults and sleep in one bed.  Jesus, it's no big deal."  Cigarette break over, Diego headed back inside, to brush his teeth one more time.

He started to brush, then came out of the bathroom to talk to her more.  Granted he was talking around his toothbrush, but he didn't seem to notice.  "You always argue with me, but I keep hoping in vain that this ONE time you'll actually listen to me.  That's what crazy people do right?  Repeat the same thing and hope for different results?  You drive me crazy."  In more ways than one, but regardless, Diego pointed at the side of the bed that was closer to the exit door.  "That's my side." he told her, before going back into the bathroom to spit and rinse.

She was right - no one who didn't ask for that life, should be considered the type of special that Gen currently was.  But Diego returned, wiping his face with a face towel as he listened to Gen talking.  Revealing something about herself that to Diego sounded so profound and deep.  He was struck by how vulnerable it seemed.  And she was sharing this with him, out of the blue.

"It's not bullshit,"  Diego was quick to respond.  "It's not bullshit at all.  It's...it's fine.  I can't say I understand, but at the same time...I dunno.  It's fine, Gen, you're..."  He wanted to reach out to her and hold her then, but something made him resist.  Everything just felt too prickly then; and an embrace might be taken the wrong way.  So instead he maneuvered past her, to get to his side of the bed.

"Me?  You want me to tell you something fun?  You do know who you're talking to right?"  Diego joked, sitting on the edge of the bed, but turning to look at her.  "Mr NoFun Guy here.  But listen - just, go brush your teeth and...whatever else girls do in the bathroom before bed.  I'll find us some nice movie or fun tv-show to watch before we pass out, hm?  That's as much fun as I can do.  Oh - and I got a bottle of painkillers, they're on the sink.  Feel free to help yourself.  Might help you get to sleep."

_______________________

Gen quickly finished up the last of the cigarette and then headed back inside after Diego, settling down onto the bed while she waited for Diego to finish and suddenly feeling a whole new kind of awkward and unsure of what to do with herself. She agreed with what she said, they were adults and the bed was big, they could spend the entire night never touching, but it still felt... well, it felt like too much. Maybe because of her newfound realization (it felt kind of insane that she barely realized her feelings for Diego less than 24 hours ago, the last 24 hours felt like a week, maybe even a whole month instead of just a single day), maybe because so many things happened she just felt emotionally drained and this was just the cherry on top, maybe because the last time they were in the same bed, things between them were a whole different situation, but it just felt a lot and she didn't know how to really handle it.

Thankfully Diego was here, though, acting like it was the most normal thing on the world and making it seem like they did this every single night. (Which was a whole kind of weird in her mind, but at least it was something she could roll with.)

When Diego came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth while he was talking around it, she couldn't help a half snort, half chuckle that escaped her. It was cute. And amusing. And more domestic than she'd like to think, so she pushed that part to the side. "Isn't there like a rule that you can't be crazy if you are aware that you're crazy?" she mused aloud, teasing. "Or that might be just Catch 22. Not sure."

She nodded to the declaration of the side and when he came out and babbled a bit, trying to comfort her. He was trying, she could tell, and she appreciated it, but he wasn't really able to say anything helpful either, not that she expected him, and she gave him a small, appreciative smile before heading into the bathroom herself while he was talking about just how unfun he was and the plan for the rest of the night.

She quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face again and took a painkiller, hoping it would actually go to sleep. By the time she got back to the room, Diego found something on the tv and she climbed into bed next to him, making sure to keep the distance. The moment her head hit the pillow, it was like her body finally caught up to everything that happened and she felt nothing but sheer exhaustion. And even though her brain started running like it always did, maybe the painkillers were working, maybe everything that happened was too much even for her, but she fell asleep relatively quickly compared to how long it usually took her.

[thoughtsofdarc]

The King of Kattegat...

You have been taken from your home and brought to Kattegat as a thrall, but after the Lothbrok brothers returns from fighting your brother, you might very well be the only one who can save Ivar from a painfull death... 

Reader x Ivar The Boneless Warnings: Mentioning of death and injuries, you being a thrall - Nothing major.  Words: 1220

A/N: So, this is NOT a marvel fic (You hadn’t guessed that by the title alone, right?). I’m not really a Vikings fic-writer, but this idea wouldn’t leave my head, so... yeah... here it is!  Don’t hate me *Hides from flying rotten tomatoes* 

You pushed your way through the masses of people, trying to get closer to Ivar and his brothers on the throne. You weren't really supposed to be there, as you were merely a thrall taken from the village where your father was ruling. Ivar and his brothers had attacked your home several months earlier, when they found out that your father had plans of throwing Ivar from the throne in Kattegat. It had been a quick attack since no one had foreseen the brothers to show up with their army.

A lot of good men died a lot of not so good men too, including your father. Many women and children had been taken as thralls, when they had refused to acknowledge the cripple as their King. When the brothers had found you, fighting fiercely to protect your home, and had realized that you were the princess, they had taken you with them and enjoyed to make you a slave. You had fought against them in the beginning, but soon realized that even if you were a thrall, they treated you better than most, and you found a way to live somewhat peaceful as a slave in Kattegat. Your brother that had taken over the throne after your father's death, had sworn revenge on Ivar and his kin. He had continued the plans your father started, to take over Kattegat and also getting you back home. But spies had informed Ivar, that your brother was preparing an army for attack and was coming, which gave Ivar the opportunity to set up defenses away from Kattegat before your brother arrived, making sure that he would not even have the opportunity to step foot in the town. Ivar had been in front of the battle line in his chariot with Hvitserk by his side, Ubbe and Bjorn on either flank. Your brother didn't even see them coming before it was all over, and he fled with was left of his little army. The brothers all returned with victory still rushing through their blood and they got celebrated as heroes, for yet again to have protected Kattegat from intruders. You weren't part of the slaves that serves in the great hall and therefore had no reason to be near the victory feast. That's why you had found yourself in the barn-like house where the thralls live, when you overheard a conversation between a couple of the other slaves. Ivar had been shot, twice, by arrows. Both of them had hit his legs, which meant that he wasn't affected much by pain or anything. The two women whispered as they made fun of his injuries and wished that the arrows had hit him higher on his body. But at least, they found some comfort in the fact, that no one could seem to stop the bleeding from the wounds, and that pissed off Ivar. Your eyes had widened when you had heard the snickering women talking about the incident. You had shot up from the bed of straws, that you had been laying on and had run out the door towards the great hall leaving, the two women behind you shaking their heads. And now you were here, in a sea of massive bodies blocking your way to the throne where Ivar was sitting. You pushed at a man in front of you almost double your size made of all muscles. "Let me through you big piece of rotten meat!" you shouted and pushed him again. He takes a step to the side and you fall head first, to the ground in front of the brothers. Some of the men starts to laugh but you ignore them and jumps to your feet and rush towards Ivar on the throne, but you don't get far as Bjorn grabs you by the neck and holds you back. "Where do you think you are going, Slave?" his booming voice asks, making the entire room fall silent. "Idiot, let me go!" you flail your arms around and try to get out of his grip but can't. You can see the humor in Ivar's eyes as you call his brother for an idiot, but he knows that right now is not the time to let a mere thrall talk badly about his brother, even if it does amuse him a great deal. "Bjorn, take her outside and make her silent" he says and the men and women in the room cheer. You feel Bjorn's big hand push you back towards the door. "No, wait! You are going to die!" you shout at Ivar and everybody stops dead in their tracks. The great hall is completely silent as everyone is looking from you to Ivar and back again. Ivar's eyes gets dark and the angry scowl on his face should scare you, but it doesn't. "What did you just say, slave?" he leans forward on his throne, tilting his head to the side as if he tries to hear you better, though everyone was so quiet that even people outside of the great hall could hear your voice. "You can do with me as you wish... Beat me up, kill me, send me back to my brother in pieces, I don't care. But first you have to let me help you... You have been poisoned!" Mumbling started to sound and Ivar raised his hand to silence the people. "Explain why you think I have been poisoned, little one" he demands, his voice is sickly sweet and it's clear that he doesn't believe you. You point to his legs. "You have been shot by arrows..." before you can continue a man shouts from the back

"So have I, several times, but I've never been poisoned by that!" the room fills with laughter again. You ignore the ignorant man and continue "... At first you didn't think any of it, it's just arrows, and you can't feel them in your legs anyway. But now several hours later the bleeding still hasn't stopped... " Ivar's eyes look straight into yours, the anger is slowly going away "... The edges of the wounds are getting dark. Blue almost black... Am I right?" You keep looking at Ivar holding his gaze sternly, making sure he understands that you are not kidding around. "I helped my father make those arrows. The arrowhead is dipped in poison and sealed in fire... He didn't think I knew what it was, but I do, and a single scraping of those arrows can kill you.... A slow and painful death" Bjorn's tight grip gets harder and you flinch because of the pain, but you keep looking at Ivar. "I know the poison, and I know the cure... Please Ivar, I can help you! Let me heal you, my King" Your pleading seems to make him react, because his eyes widen for a second, he straightens his back and lifts his head "what? Repeat that last part!" he says. "I know the poison and the cure.... I can heal you" you repeat. "No, the next part..." His eyes fills with amusement again and a smile plays at his lips. Your eyes widen when you realize what you just said, but you are not ashamed and you feel calm when you repeat the two words he wants to hear... "... My King!"

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Rawalpindi board English 10th Notes Chapter 4

Rawalpindi board English 10th Notes Chapter 4 (First Aid) Include review questions, solved exercises, important board questions, Vocabulary, Reading Comprehension, MCQs, and grammar.

Grammar English 10th Notes Chapter 4

Q.1) Place adverbs at appropriate places. i) l am happy when it is my birthday, (always) ii)  My brother gets up at six o’clock from Monday to Friday as he goes jogging. (often) iii) He went to the market, (last night) iv)  Have you been to Hunza Valley? (ever) v) The birds were chirping, (beautifully) vi)  I'm waiting for Khalid to arrive. I have been waiting for over twenty minutes! (still) vii) He saw a blind beggar, (in the market) Answer: i) I am always happy when it is my birthday. ii) My brother often gets up at six o’clock from Monday to Friday as he goes jogging. iii) He went to the market last night. iv) Have you ever been to Hunza Valley? v) The birds were chirping beautifully. vi) I'm still waiting for Khalid to arrive. I have been waiting for over twenty minutes! vii) He saw a blind beggar in the market. Q.2) Find a suitable adverb to replace each adverb phrase in the following sentences. i) Our teacher wanted that work to be done without delay. ii) She iswithout doubt the most caring person I have met iii) This plant flowers once every year. iv) You should complete the work in a while. v) The two old friends met each other by accident. Answer: i) Our teacher wanted that work to be done immediately. ii) She is doubtlessly the most caring person I have met iii) This plant flowers yearly. iv) You should complete the work shortly. v) The two old friends met each other unknowingly. Q.5) Change the following sentences into the passive voice. Subject in the passive sentences may be skipped. i) You must put out all smoking materials. ii) You must fasten the seat belt. iii) They will demonstrate safety precautions. iv) You should read the safety instructions. v) You can store small packages in the overhead compartment. Answer: i) All smoking material must be put out. ii) The seat belt must be fastened. iii) Safety precautions will be demonstrated by them. iv) The safety instructions should be read by you. v) Small packages can be stored by you in the overhead compartment.

Writing Skills

Q.1) Write a paragraph on “How to take care of cuts and scrapes”. Use transitional devices e.g. first, next, then, after that, in the end etc. to join sentences within the paragraph. Any injury can cause pain by cutting or scraping. It can be safely treated through cleaning and clearing the bruises at home to reduce the infections and speed up healing. Following is the guideline for how to take care of cut and scrape. Firstly, try to stop bleeding by putting pressure on the area with a tissue, gauze pad, or clean cloth. The bleeding should stop after a few minutes. If the blood soaks through the gauze or cloth, add more gauze or another cloth and apply more pressure. Don’t remove the gauze or cloth to check to see if it is still bleeding until you have kept the pressure for several minutes. Next, after you stop bleeding, rinse the cut thoroughly with cool water. You can either hold the wound under running water or pour water from a cup over the wound. After that, apply a thin layer of antibiotic cream to the wound. If the rash appears, stop using the cream. Do not forget to cover the wound to keep scratch safe from bacteria and germs. And change the dressing on daily basis. Lastly and importantly, always keep a check on the signs of infection i.e. wound redness, raising pain, liquid flow etc. In such cases, seek doctor's assistance. Q.2) Did you ever get cuts and scrapes? How did you give yourself first aid? Write a paragraph in the past tense. First, make an outline with the help of the mind map given below.

Learning to ride a bicycle for the first time is fun yet, frightening. It was a cloudy beautiful morning in summer. I took my bicycle, newly gifted by my father on my eighth birthday without any assistance. The road of my street is wide and clear. I mounted my bike and started paddling. I stumbled first but then balanced myself and gave my bike some speed which increased gradually. It was quite fun. Suddenly, I heard horn of a car from behind. As I turned my head to the back, I don’t know what happened and when I gained my conscious back, I was in a hole and bike on my side. The hole was not very deep. I couldn’t make sense of the accident from where the hole comes from, in the middle of the road. I stood up, dusted off my clothes and started looking for the bruises I got. At that moment I was feeling pain but not much, since I was scared to death because of the car horn. I held back my tears, took my bicycle and started running towards my house, stumbling and jittering. I didn’t tell my mother just to avoid her anger, went to my room silently and inspected my bruises. Now I was really feeling pain in my toes and knees. Along with that, I also had scratched my lips which were bleeding. I rinsed my wounds with cold water and covered the bruises with tissue paper. I took some ointment cream, polyfax from my mother's drawer and spread it over the scratched and cuts. As I felt a little satisfied, I went to the mirror to scrutinize myself. To my horror , I lost my tooth. That gave me a twinge of pain. I started crying louder this time. My mother came to my room and shocked by surprise. After that I faced the music for going outside alone. Riding a bicycle for beginners need high level of precautions. Helmet, knee pads and shoes are mandatory to wear to avoid these loses. Q.2) Answer the following questions. i) Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ is a perfect model and example for all mankind. Explain. Answer: Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ is a perfect model for all humankind. He is the best epitome of justice, equity and fair dealing. He never favored unjustly, that even his worst enemies used to bring their suits for justice. He followed the rules according to the rules given by Allah. ii) Write a note on Chinese New Year celebrations. Answer: Chinese New Year celebration starts from January 21st till February 20th. Families visit each other, devouring heavy feasts typically made for the event. Doors and wall are decorated with red wall hangings and frames, inscribed with the word fu. Red color is customary to wear. Even the envelopes given to children are red in color. It symbolizes good spirits. Thorough cleaning of houses is customary before the New Year event starts. That wards off bad spirits from the houses. Henceforth, Chinese New year celebration is associated with welcoming of good spirits that keeps bad luck and troubles away for the year. iii) Why is trying again important in life? Answer: iv) Write the First Aid Process of cuts and scrapes. Answer: 1. Trying again is important in life as it gives courage to face the challenges and never losing hope when you are on the way of success. As failure is a stepping stone in the process of succeeding. Trying hard keeping you persistent and build up your courage to embrace success. 2. Any injury can cause pain by cutting or scraping. It can be safely treated through cleaning and clearing the bruises at home to reduce the infections and speed up healing. Following is the guideline for how to take care of cut and scrape. Firstly, try to stop bleeding by putting pressure on the area with a tissue, gauze pad, or clean cloth. The bleeding should stop after a few minutes. If the blood soaks through the gauze or cloth, add more gauze or another cloth and apply more pressure. Don’t remove the gauze or cloth to check to see if it is still bleeding until you have kept the pressure for several minutes. Next, after you stop bleeding, rinse the cut thoroughly with cool water. You can either hold the wound under running water or pour water from a cup over the wound. After that, apply a thin layer of antibiotic cream to the wound. If the rash appears, stop using the cream. Do not forget to cover the wound to keep scratch safe from bacteria and germs. And change the dressing on daily basis. Lastly and importantly, always keep a check on the signs of infection i.e. wound redness, raising pain, liquid flow etc. In such cases, consult the doctor. Q.3) Read the passage and answer the questions given below. Since the advent of the Internet, there have been profound changes in the way we live, work or play. Firstly, the Internet has brought e-mail to the masses, which made it possible to send messages, digital photos, music, and videos to anywhere in the world instantly. Gone are the days when it took about fifteen days for a letter from Lahore to reach San Francisco. Besides e-mail, further innovations like instant messaging has also become the norm. With a web camera, users can actually see each other on the computer monitor and speak to each other through a microphone at no extra cost. In the past, this convenience was only available to companies that could afford highly expensive video conferencing equipment at exorbitant charges. The effect of this technological development is thai people are able to stay in close touch with each other even though they are thousands of kilometres apart. Not iong ago, this was only possible in science fiction movies and our fantasies, internet has also changed the way we access information. In the past, one had to search books, magazines and libraries if one needed to know something. Now, search engines e.g. Google and Yahoo give us a list of websites that provide the information that we need. There are even free online dictionaries, encyclopedias and maps. As technology advances, the impact of the Internet will be even more profound in the future. Now It is up to us to use its power to serve mankind in a positive way. Questions 1.    What is the first change that internet has brought in our lives? 2.    How have search engines revolutionized access to information? 3.    Internet has brought people closer. How? 4.    Find words from the passage that mean the same as phrases given below.         a.  far greater or higher than is reasonable         b.   the quality of being or making things easy  5. Write a precis of the given passage and suggest a suitable title for it. Answer: 1. Internet has changed our way of living, completely.  Through emails, we can easily send instant messages, photos, and videos anywhere around the world. Beside a camera, user can see each other from far distant area at a very cheap cost. Any information can be searched through the search engines with a single click. 2. Search engines have revolutionized the search, as it provides us lists of information related to any field of life with a single click that is accessible to everyone. We do not have to spend hours in libraries to search a book or piece of journal. 3. Internet is accessible to everyone, everywhere with cheap cost. People can communicate with each other, sitting miles apart and send instant messages and do video chats. Hence, it has brought people more closely. 4. (a) Line no. 5: equipment at exorbitant charges can be replaced by far greater or higher than reasonable.                                                                                                              (b) Line no.9;”even more profound in future" can be replaced by the quality of being or making things easy. 5. Internet has revolutionized the world through changing the lifestyle by introducing. Emails, instant messages, videos and picture on a single click. It has revolutionized the search by introducing search engines, like Google, yahoo etc. which take a split of second to provide ample of information regarding any subject hence, saves us from wasting our time by inducing our heads in book shelves in libraries. Everything is available at the cheapest cost which was beyond imagination before. Now it depends on us how we take it.             Title: "Internet -a bliss for Mankind" Q.4) Write a paragraph on any ONE of the following topics. i)  Land Pollution ii) The subject I like the most in school Answer:                                                    Land Pollution What is beneath your feet? A floor, made up of bricks. What comes next?  Underground pipelines. Beneath that, we have soil, sand, rocks, etc that form the earth. We imagine these basic foundations of our planet to be a kind of pristine, internal wilderness but that is not the case. We are the ones that cause changes to the world, negatively. We can see many of the changes we've made to the world, some of our impacts are virtually invisible, and land pollution is a good example. Factories are causing smoke that pollutes air and water as well through the oil drifting over the ocean, but the poisons that seep from underground mines, the garbage tipped into landfills by the truckload, or the way the very soil that feeds us is turning to dust. Land pollution, in short, is a much bigger and more subtle problem than it might appear. The land pollution is caused by solid wastes and chemicals. One of the major pollution problems of large cities is disposal of solid waste material including farm and animal manure, crop resi­dues (agricultural wastes), industrial wastes including solid fuels, garbage, paper, cardboard, plastics, rubber, cons­truction rubbish, brick, sand, metal and glass resulting from demo­lition of buildings, dead animals like dogs, cats and birds. Huge quantities of unwanted material cause serious disposal problems. Further, many of the chemicals emitted into the air such as radioactive minerals, sulphur, and lead, eventually come to earth to pollute the soil. Many pesticides and herbicides are harming the soil causing loss of fertility. In forest ecosystems, these chemical pollutants may inhibit processes of soil formation, and reduce the capacity of the forest to maintain fertility of the soil that eventually will cause shortage of vegetation as well as wood and other useful things. To save the earth from destruction, we need to introduce “recycling” of waste materials.  We also have to introduce organic food and organic farming that could lessen the use of artificial pesticides. Technologies, such as bioremediation can help in clearing out pollutants from land need to be used. Phytoremediation is a similar concept but involves using plants, such as willow trees, to pull contaminants from the soil. These will facilitate in cleaning environment. It realizes us that earth is a limited and precious resource.                                       The subject I like the most in school  Out of six subjects at school, Mathematics is my most favorite subject. No doubt some people find it difficult, dull and colorless but for me it has worth.  It gives me a level of satisfaction and interest while studying. I can solve problems related to mathematics for hours without getting bored. My aim in life is to become a mathematics professor or mathematician someday. The major reason why I like mathematics is that I do not have to memorize everything like a parrot the way I have to do in other subjects. To acquire good marks in mathematics you just need to have sufficient mental logic for the subject. This subject is also demanding in various education fields. This is the only subject in which you can score full marks and raise your overall percentage. The most amazing part of this subject is that you just have to remember some formulas to solve the problems. It is needless to say that mathematics is a very logical subject and does not require any kind of boring memory work like other subjects. For me remembering facts and dates is very difficult while mathematical reasoning is quite easy. Some of my friends find this subject very difficult. I wonder why. In my spare time, I help my friends to solve mathematical problems. As far as mathematics is concerned, homework and tests are easy to achieve. I really get surprised to see my classmates getting punished for not completing the mathematics homework. However, every individual on this earth has his/ her own kind of likes and dislikes. Q.5) Write a general essay on any ONE of the following topics. i) Traffic Problems of a Big City ii) School Discipline Answer:                                        Traffic problems of a big city Big cities have bigger problems. Traffic is one of the major concerns of big cities. Authorities remodel streets and roads to avoid traffic. But does it solve the problem? Traffic control in the big city, like Rawalpindi, is challenging. Increase in the number of vehicle day by day is causing troubles for pedestrians, and residents of the city. What is the reason behind the increase? People from rural areas are rushing towards metropolis of cities to make bright future. Banks are offering loans for cars. And lack of responsibility to follow the rules, among the drivers Big cities are bloodlines for a country’s economy. These centers generate great amounts of revenue through business activity and industrial estates. The facilitated lifestyle in big cities attracts more and more village dwellers to migrate to the cities. The rapid expansion of urban cities in Pakistan has generated many problems for its residents that contaminate the cities. As many dwellers set in cities as much land is required to live. For which trees are cut down, and forest are cleared off. This creates an imbalance in nature as well. Furthermore, an easy access to cars through bank loans has increased the number of vehicles on roads. The city roads are always crowded by trucks, buses, motor cars, scooters, and cycles which create chaos on the main roads of the city. People are attracted to the offer due to lack of public transport. The irregular expansion has caused a disrupted road network in the cities. This expansion in vehicles consumes a large portion of fuel, which release in the air causing air pollution. Last but not least, expanding traffic network arises the next challenge of implementing traffic rules. The traffic sergeants are at every signal but the people disregard their signs either deliberately or unknowingly. A lot of people driving on the roads are unaware of these rules and eventually causes loss of many precious souls. The government needs to take immediate steps toward this issue. The city was expanded irregularly on one side and the absence of facilities in the newly found towns draws its residents to drive to other parts of the city to shop for their necessities. Lack of proper public transports pushes everyone to keep his own vehicle. And with the ongoing construction projects and absence of proper alternative routes, the traffic jams have added to the woes of people. To wrap it up, I would suggest that in future all the big cities should be planned, keeping in mind the next 60 years expansion. Read the full article

[christabellanikolai]

The Untitled: Chapter 12

Jon and Daenerys travel to Castle Black while Jaime does his best to make good on his promise. 

Also available on [Wattpad] [AO3]

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-Note: Italics indicate characters speaking Dothraki-

Jon watched as the gates of the old castle opened. They still made the same sound as they pushed in toward the courtyard. A growling sound that still made him shiver. It was the first time he had been back to Castle Black since leaving to take back Winterfell. He didn’t even recognize the recruits who held the gates open for him and Daenerys. They had flown together on Drogon after supervising the first of the evacuations on the Eastern sections of The Gift. Jon had come make sure the castle had everything it needed to prepare for an attack, while Daenerys met with her Dothraki soldiers.

As Daenerys entered the courtyard she was taken aback by the condition of the Castle. The roofs had holes that been patched with old wood; one of the towers leans left stones falling into the courtyard. She couldn’t understand how this place had come to into such conditions, and how it was going to survive the long night.

“Welcome to Castle Black.” Said Jon as he noticed her staring. “Not what you expected?”

“How?” she asked, “The Nights Watch protects the realm and this is how they are to live?”

“As time went on the Wall was neglected.” Said Jon “Once it was a noble honor to serve the Night’s Watch, now it is often more akin to a prison sentence.”

“So why did you come here?” asked Daenerys

“I grew up the bastard of Winterfell.” Said Jon “I brought shame to the honorable House Stark, where else would I go?”

Jon was smirking, almost laughing but Daenerys wasn’t.  It hurt her to hear stories of how awful Jon had been treated growing up, especially since Ned Stark had known who he truly was. She had to wonder if his upbringing was better than the alternative.

“Your Grace.” Said a young boy as he ran toward Jon. He looked at him with wide eyes as he approached. Jon assumed the new recruits now heard stories about him. Dramatic stories about the Lord Commander, who rose from the dead, so he could become a King. “The Lord Commander is waiting for you in the tower. Please let me escort you both.”

The two made their way to the Lord Commander’s Tower. There, Jon found Edd sitting behind a desk, he immediately stood up and the two men embraced. "It's good to see you in one piece again."

“Aye, I am glad to see you and the Wall are still standing.” Said Jon before heading behind the desk to review a list of the castle’s current resources. “Do you think you have enough food?”

“Yes, though the Dothraki often complain there isn’t enough meat.” Said Edd before turning toward Daenerys “Though they are much needed, thank you for sending them.”

“So they are adjusting to the North?” said Daenerys “I worried how some of them would fair in this cold.”

“They are doing as good as can be expected. No different than the recruits who come from Kings Landing. They spend a few nights fearing they will die from the cold before getting used to it. One is waiting for you in the dining hall.”

“Thank you, if your squire would be kind enough to show me the way. I will let you two get back to work.” She said turning to the boy who nodded her before taking her to the dining hall.

“I can’t believe you have a squire.” Said Jon “It doesn’t really suit you.”

“Neither does being the Lord Commander but here I am.” Said Edd “Though you are always welcome back. Sometimes I would rather shovel shit then deal with all of this.” He gestured to the pile of papers and scrolls on his desk.

“What do you mean some of them have refused ride North?” ask Daenerys in the native Dothraki tongue.

“Many are worried they are no longer serving you.” Said Qhono as he sat across from her in the dining hall, surrounded by 3 other Dothraki warriors. “They say you are now selling them off to the Ice-Khal.”

“The Ice-Khal?” asked Daenerys not amused by their nickname for Jon, even after Qhono explained why they called him that. “Did you tell them Jon has sworn an oath to me? Tell them that I made a promise to help him in exchange for him to help me take the iron throne.”

“Yes but many still do not feel they should come up here and fight his fight for him.” Said Qhono “They knelt for you at Vaes Dothrak. They will fight your battles, not his.”

“His battles are my battles!” snapped Daenerys “He is my ally!”

“The Dothraki have no allies. We follow only one leader, the one who conquers.”

“There will be nothing left to conquer if we do not defeat the Night King. Where are the ones who refused now?”

“Dragonstone, preparing to sail back to Essos.”

Daenerys felt herself begin to shake with anger. “They can not leave. They pledged their lives to me, they are not free to go until their death or mine. I was led to believe that was the way of the Dothraki.”

“They do not believe you will survive this far North. They say one cannot live where there is no sun or stars. They have not left Dragonstone, they only prepare to. If you should die they will return to Essos and a new Khal will be chosen.”

“I suppose you would like that new Khal to be you?”

“No, I serve you, Daenerys Targaryen is the blood of my blood.” Said Quono, the other warriors nodded in agreement. “The ones have ridden North, and the ones who currently ride North are your true blood riders.”

“When I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms your loyalty will be rewarded greatly.” Said Daenerys “Those who have refused the call shall suffer painful deaths for their rebellion and betrayal. I will have ravens sent to Dragonstone, the Unsullied will fight in place of those who refuse to ride North. I will send for Grey Worm to aid in the command.”

“How are they?” Jon asked as he entered the Maesters quarters. There he found Sam tending to the wounds on Tormund. Jon watched as Sam’s skillful fingers stitched up a particularly nasty gash on the giants left flank.

“Holding up as well as can be expected.” Said Sam continuing his work. “It doesn’t appear they fell far, most of these injuries are from the debris falling on them.”

“They will make it though?” Jon asked sitting in a chair next to Tormund’s bed.

"Aye, I believe they will." Said Sam, Jon was relieved to hear it. He could not bear it to lose anyone close to him this early in the fight, especially two people who had seen first hand what the enemy could do. "If you could stay here for a moment. I have to find some clean cloth for bandages."

While sitting waiting for Sam, Jon saw the giant begin to stir, Jon was quick to make sure Tormund didn’t sit up, fearing he would tear his stitches. "Baby Crow, let go of me."

“Then lie back.” Ordered Jon. “You shouldn’t move.”

“Where am I?” asked Tormund looking around, obviously trying to get a sense of his surroundings. “This isn’t Eastwatch.”

“No, you’re at Castle Black.” Said Jon “Don’t you remember what happened at Eastwatch?”

“I remember…the dead… I saw them coming out from the trees.” Said Tormund “Then…there is nothing.”

“The wall fell. Can you remember how?” asked Jon; desperate to understand how it happened.

"No, I can't," said Tormund bringing his hand to his head. “Though the wall falling explains why my head feels like it is splitting in two.”

“I will have Sam bring you some Milk of the Poppy.” Said Jon

"Aye, and bring me some sour goats milk." Said Tormund “A good nights sleep should take care of this.”

“You have been sleeping for days.” Laughed Jon. He noticed that Sam had silently made his way back into the room, carrying fresh cloths and warm water. “Tormund, I believe you know Sam.”

“Aye, I remember seeing you run for your life during our invasion.” Laughed Tormund. Jon rolled his eyes but saw that Sam seemed to find the red head’s joke a bit funny. “How can I remember him but not how the wall fell?”

"Amnesia, it should be temporary." Said Sam, as he began to apply fresh dressings to Tormund’s wounds. “You should start to remember bits and pieces about what happened in a few days time.”

"Let's hope so." Said Jon, as he poured Tormund a small glass of Milk of the Poppy. “Now drink, trust me when I say it will help.”

It was before sunset when Jaime, Brienne, and a still captive Bronn arrived at Riverrun. Jaime had decided this would be the best place to possibly gather men for Jon. While on the road they were met by the Lannister soldiers Daenerys had taken into her service, they had been escorted by the unsullied to a camp outside the path leading to the river. Jaime was as surprised they had gone unnoticed, as they were to see him there. Now they all stood together at the bridge, waiting and hoping for the doors to drop down.

Jaime breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened, and when it wasn't followed by flying arrows or men charging to tear at his throat. Instead, there was nothing as the group headed inside the castle. Once inside they were met by Ser Harys Swyft who Jaime assumed now had command of Riverrun.

“Jaime Lannister, I thought my men were hallucinating from the cold when they said it was you.” He said as he approached the group, shaking Jaime’s hand. “What in seven hells are you doing in Riverrun. Come to bring me more men I see?”

“Not exactly.” Said Jaime, a little confused by the Knight’s actions. He wondered if the news of his desertion had not yet reached Riverrun. “Though it is quite obvious the crown is desperate for good ones, why do they have you at this dreary hell?”

“You were the one who signed the order stating this is where I would be stationed.” Said Harys before laughing, “Don’t worry though, I too never read all those.”

Jaime also laughed, doing his best to hide how nervous this whole situation made him. The two men made their way to the dining hall, located in front of the castle. Once inside Ser Harys ordered a kitchen maid to bring them black bread and fish, along with ale. “It is all we have to spare right now.” He said apologizing for the lack of a feast. “We don’t know how long this winter will last and it is better to prepare early.”

“I would agree.” Said Jaime “Though this winter is something I wanted to talk to you about. I have a strange request to make.”

“And what might that be?” asked Harys

“I need you and your men to leave Riverrun and ride North.” Said Jaime “I want you to aid myself and the King in the North in fighting the Army of the Dead.”

The older knight was silent, simply looking at Jaime with a confused look on his face. He then broke out in hysterics believing that Jaime was playing an elaborate trick on him. When Jaime didn’t respond, he knew this wasn’t and the Kingslayer had been serious. “This isn’t some joke, you really want us to abandon Riverrun to fight for a false King?”

“That is correct.” Said Jaime. “A promise was made to him at the recent parlay in Kings Landing and I intend to keep that promise.”

“If we were to go fight with you in the North, how do you suppose we protect Riverrun?”

“With all due respect if those…things…make it here, this castle won’t matter.” Said Jaime.  “We need to fight in the North in order to continue to claim and hold castles like Riverrun.”

“I heard that this Jon Snow has pledged fealty to Daenerys Targaryen. She is not only a foreign invader but also the daughter of the Mad King. You are expecting us to fight with her?”

“She has dragons. Now I am sure I do not need to explain what she will do with them should they all survive the war with the dead. The South will pay for its betrayal and that includes you."

“A war with the dead, you can not possibly believe in this stuff Jaime?” snorted Harys. “Sure if we were children I would believe that but the most dangerous things in the North are the Wildlings. Though, I hear the young King sided with in order to take back Winterfell.”

“My Lord, those things, they do exist.” Said one of the guards who had surrounded Harys at the table. Both men turned to look at the young man, a little taken back that someone of such a low rank would speak out of turn. Jaime though was right now grateful for the man’s sudden words. “I was there my Lord…”

"What are you going on about, boy?" asked Harys trying to quiet the man. Jaime was quick to interject, letting him continue.

"I was there at the pits in Kings Landing." Continued the young man. "I saw it when it tried to attack the Queen but two of Jon Snow's men cut it down. Even after they stabbed it with their swords, it kept moving, screaming.”

“I was there as well.” Said the other young man. “So it’s true, there are really thousands of them in the North.”

“Jon Snow tells me they have breached the wall at Eastwatch by the sea.” Said Jaime turning to Harys. “Do you not understand that they are coming for us?”

Harys was quiet for a moment as he looked down at his hands. After a few moments, he abruptly stood walking over to a window, sighing before speaking. "You understand that Queen Cersei already notified us that she would not be sending any resources North. She has ordered all of us to remain in the South for the remainder of Winter.”

“Aye, I figured.” Jaime was surprised that Harys had not yet mentioned Cersei saying anything about him leaving Kings Landing. He wondered if she hadn't yet placed a bounty on his head.

Harys sighed before turning to toward Jaime. The Kingslayer noticed a change in the Knight’s demeanor before he spoke. “You also know that she killed both my grandson and son in law in the Sept of Baelor. My daughter has not been the same since.”

“I promise I had nothing to do with that.” Said Jaime. “I was in the Twins with Walder Frey just as you were when we got word of it.”

“If you swear to me that is the whole truth then I will go against the Crown's orders. I will order all of my men to abandon this castle and ride hard for the North, tonight." Said Harys.

Jaime rose to his feet, walking over to Harys. The two men shook hands, confirming their new alliance. Harys promised to also seek further help from other Lords to ride North. As Jaime returned to the grand entrance of the castle to inform Brienne and Bronn of what happened he felt prouder then he had felt in a long time. For the first time in a while, he was truly doing the right thing.

As another wave of walkers was cut down Arya ran toward a group of men, looking for Gendry. The two had been separated once he had alerted the rest of the camp that they had killed a walker. The sound of the horn blast had not only alerted their troops of their location but also the wights themselves. Now the camp was filled with chaos as the screeches of the dead rang loud as they attacked, and men fell around her like flies.

She used Needle to cut down another walker while someone behind her delivered the final blow using a sword made of Dragonglass. Across the way she made eye contact was Gendry who was using his hammer to fend off a group of wights. As she to rushed forward through the melee she was abruptly stopped as one who had been thought to be down grabbed her foot, sending her down to the ground. It crawled on top of her, pinning her arms down as it screeched. She tried to kick it off but found her legs had been grabbed by another wight.

She tried to twist her way out of their hold but found more wights closing in on her. She did her best to scream but one grabbed her by the throat. As the last of the air began to leave her lungs, so did her vision and awareness. The next she knew the bones of one of the wights now fell around her like salt. As her consciousness returned she found herself being lifted over someone’s shoulder. The familiar stench flooded her senses and she immediately smacked her fists into her captor's shoulder blades. “Put me down now!” she shouted.

“Aye, as the little lady asks.” Said The Hound almost throwing her to the ground. Gendry was able to run over to her, immediately inspecting to see if she was injured. “Young love, a waste of fucking time.”

“Shut up!” she said, pushing Gendry off of her as well. “Why are you here?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking about how I am here?” the Hound responded. The three were looked up to find another group of wight’s headed their way. “Though now is it not the time.” The Hound lifted his sword charging toward one of the wights. Arya reached for her dagger, slashing a second as Gendry fended off others with his hammer.

The group remained outnumbered until an arrow landed in the head of one of the Walkers sitting on top of a horse. A small group of wights collapsed as he went down. Arya looked and saw Drogon coming toward them, Jon bow in hand, and Daenerys guided the dragon. “Get down!” she ordered as the Dragon screeched.

As they took cover they watched as Drogon blew flame, burning the wights as they came toward them before circling the area again. As it the beast came back around they saw it land in a nearby clearing. Arya tried to run toward her older brother but was blocked by another group of charging wights. She began slashing and cutting them down with her sword. She could see Jon doing the same as he fought to get to her. The two finally met, Jon protectively wrapping his arm around her. ��Are you alright?” he asked.

"Aye," she said trying to push him off. "I am not a child now let me loose. Where the hell have you been?"

“The Wall.” He said trying to get a sense of how many wights were around “How many?” he shouted toward the Hound and Gendry as they ran toward the siblings.

“Hundreds.” Said Gendry. “We took out as many Walkers as we could but they just all won’t fall.”

“He must be around here.” Said Jon. He looked up toward Daenerys who once again circled above, silently telling her to be careful. “When they keep coming like this it means he is here. Have you spotted him?”

“The Night King?” asked the Hound. “No, only his walkers and these bloody wights.” As another small group of wights came toward them both Jon and the Hound cut them down with their swords.

“Fall back!” yelled Jon “Head for the western road!” The four of them tried to head toward the western portion of The Gift but again came faced to face with wights. They began to cut them down. When one went toward Arya, Longclaw stopped it. Jon then grabbed his sister, running ahead to bring her to a horse. As the two prepared to mount up they heard the sound of hoofs pounding into the ground, the sound of screams. Jon recognized it to be from Dothraki riders, having heard them before when they arrived in Kings Landing.

“Are those…?” asked Arya, amazed by the charge of the warriors as they arrived on horseback. Immediately charging the wights with little to no fear or hesitation. They swung their Arakh’s, taking heads and limbs off the wights. Even as Drogon sent down another stream of fire, they continued through it.

Jon moved back toward fighting, joining the Dothraki as they continue to cut down wights. As he fought he ordered Gendry to get Arya to safety but even in all the fighting, he could hear her protests clear as day. All of the yelling and shouting suddenly stopped though as they all heard a hideous screech in the distance.

As they turned toward the sound a flash of blue light met them. It’s heat radiating just like fire as it cut through the tops of the trees, sending those on the ground ducking for cover. As Jon lifted his head he figured it out. The flash of blue flames, why the pieces of the wall felt both cold and hot when he inspected them. How the wall fell. Just as he had done to the corpses at Hardhome, the Night King had brought Viserion back from the dead.

He looked up just in time to see the corpse of Viserion and the Night  King charge right into Drogon and Daenerys.

“Dany!”

[ionica01]

Day 2: Tradition

And here we are, with day 2 of almei week! I hope you guys enjoy this, too!

“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Mei asked, holding the light, silky material that was supposed to be draped Al’s waist and tighten the kimono around him. There was concern painted across her face, like she didn’t want Alphonse to force himself into something unnecessary.

“I want to!” He told her softly, trying to look as excited as possible and placing a hand over hers to encourage her to continue her work. He gave the best smile he had, trying to hide his nervousness.

It had been about two weeks since Alphonse arrived in Xing, and Ling had decided it was high time for him to hold a ball to welcome Al in his country. And what a ball! All the court and the other 50 clans were invited! The Amestrian had a gut feeling the Emperor just wanted to hold a sumptuous feast and Mei’s roll of the eyes confirmed it, but he couldn’t deny him this pleasure. Moreover, he was seeking to show the Xingese court that he was fit to be there and that all the judging glances thrown in his and the Chang’s clan leader direction whenever they were seen together weren’t grounded.

Alphonse did everything in his power to make sure he wouldn’t make a foul out of himself: he read all the books on Xingese culture he could find in Amestris and even learnt as much as he could of the language; he reread all of his letters with Mei to pick up any custom or important gestures the easterners had as to not commit any kind of insult; he had even asked Mei to write the last few letters in Xingese only for him to exercise.

“Is it too tight?” Mei asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. He realised he must have been frowning while trying to recall all of the advice Lan Fan had offered him and forced a smile on his nervous face.

Mei’s brows knitted and she inched closer to his face, her breath now warming Al’s flushed cheeks. He stared at her dumbfounded, trying to understand her motives for closing the distance between them so much: he remembered Lan insisting on the fact that Xingese people don’t like having their personal space invaded.

By the time he had started running possible scenarios through his head, it was already too late: Mei bumped her forehead against his with more force than he remembered her having, causing all of the redness from his cheeks to rise to his forehead.

“Ouch!” He exclaimed, rubbing the injury confused. “What was that for?” He asked, glancing at the woman through his fingers. She had crossed her arms over her chest and was now fuming:

“Because you’re worrying too much again, Alphonse!” If she had dropped the “sama”, she must have been really angry.

Al let his hand drop against his sides and suddenly felt his body go numb as he muttered:

“I just… Don’t want to mess up.”

Mei’s expression softened and she picked up his arm, which felt heavy as led and foreign, as it was while Al was in an armour:

“And you won’t!” She said in a healing voice, probably regretting having snapped at him earlier. Al had discovered Mei was the type of girl who changed moods quickly, though she was much more balanced than his childhood friend. In times like this, he blessed Winry for her mood swings that gave him years of exercising how to deal with them.

“Whatever you do, you can never mess up, Alphonse-sama. At least not in my opinion.” She smiled, squeezing his hand and offering him a bright smile. Xiao-Mei climbed up on Al’s shoulder, rubbing her face against his cheek as well.

“Thank you, Mei!” He smiled, trying to hide the fact that these kind of encouragements only made him more nervous. Maybe he couldn’t embarrass her, but the impression he made on the others affected their relationship, as well.

Mei sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and shaking her head. Al should have known that no matter how good of a front he put up, he could never fool Mei. Not only because she could read his qi, but more so because she didn’t miss anything when it came to him. She could even pick up the smallest lie when their only method of communication was writing, let alone now, when they were face to face.

“I’ll get ready and join you in half an hour.” she finally sighed. “Meanwhile, you go out there!” She said, pushing him towards the entrance to the huge dining room, which also served as a ball room.

Al reluctantly stepped towards the exit from his safe zone, stopping in the doorway to straighten up his back and turn around to offer a confident smile to Mei, who mirrored his gesture. Confidence was the last feeling his brain intercepted at the moment, but nailing this was something Al had to push himself to believe.

He stepped into the room with the right foot first, twenty minutes early. Even so, the place was far from empty: there were servants putting up the table, and Ling, along with a few others Al recognised as the heads of the Wei, Wang and Xiu clans, were sitting at the round dinner table.

“Alphonse!” Ling called out to him, friendly and yet official at the same time. The Amestrian was still amazed at how dignified the Xingese Emperor carried himself when in high-class company, much in contrast with his usual aloof self.

As he approached him, Al also spotted Lan Fan behind the Emperor’s chair, her dark costume blending in the shadows as she stood there, ready to protect Ling with her life.

Al stopped three steps before the King and bowed, his body forming a perfect 135 degrees angle. Once the King raised his hand as to put him at ease, he turned towards the three other clan leaders and performed the same gesture.

“I must excuse myself for interrupting your discussion.” Al started in the most formal tone he could, relieved that his brain hadn’t gone blank when he began talking. “I must introduce myself. I am Alphonse Elric.” He added, refraining from extending his hand for a handshake and indeed bowing again, this time much less.

The rest of the introductions went on without a hitch. Slowly, more and more people came in and Al repeated the steps and then proceeded to make small talk (usually politics-related) only to then pass to the next person and so on.

By the time Mei arrived, he was already exhausted and felt the muscles of his cheeks might be blocked in the position of “polite smiling” forever. Out of habit, he bowed in front of Mei, too. She immediately started chuckling, and jokingly bowed, as well.

“Sorry.” Al got up fast, scratching the back of his neck. “Force of habit.”

“Don’t worry. You seem better now.” She noticed, following Al as he led the way to her seat.

“Yeah well, the people here are friendly.” He admitted.

“See? Told you it would be fine!” Mei beamed, sitting down next to him without breaking eye contact.

The dinner started and everyone inquired about Amestris, and how come Al came here and about the start of  his friendship with the Emperor and Princess Chang. Al explained everything in polite words and omitting the disturbing facts, asking formal questions as well.

“Now then!” The Emperor clapped his hands as soon as the first course was over, attracting everyone’s attention. They turned to him, waiting for Ling to continue:

“I figured it would be a good idea to ask Alphonse to show us one of the traditional Amestrian dances!” He smiled, directing the statement into Al’s direction.

The blonde froze, his mind going blank at the words. He didn’t have problems with the Xingese dances, Mei had taught him everything he needed to know, and his brain could cope with speaking the intricate language, but Amestrian dances phased him. Al doubted he even knew the songs! Being stuck in a suit of armour trying to save the world wasn’t exactly the most favorable context to learn how to dance.

“What do you say, Alphonse?” Ling asked.

Al gulped down and nodded: what else could he do? Ling happily got up and made a sign for the Xingese Orchestra to start the music. Al got up slowly, feeling his body even heavier than before and even more so than when he was in a suit of armour. He needed all of his self control to keep a good front and not to fall into despair. ‘All that effort… For nothing!’ he thought as his feet led him to the dancing ring.

As soon as the song started, Al was surprised to hear the familiar tone: it was a waltz!

“This is a dance for two.” Al politely explained the others, glimpsing at Mei from the corner of his eye. She must have read his mood again, because she let out a sigh of relief as soon as he started talking.

He confidently went towards her and extended an arm with the usual Amestrian bow, asking something he was very much familiar with from Führer Grumman’s Military parties:

“Would make me the pleasure of accepting this dance?”

Mei smiled in return, placing her had in his and getting up: “I’d be delighted to.”

They headed back towards the free space that served as as a dancing ring and Al placed his hand on her waist, bringing her closer. She, in term, placed her hand on his shoulder and tuned her body movements to his, so that they would move into the familiar waltz-square at the same rhythm. It proved to be an easy task for them: after all, they had done it before at Edward and Winry’s wedding.

It had been awkward back then, and they had moved clumsily, so much unlike the gracious steps they took now. Mei was no longer averting her gaze, instead holding his fond look with an equally infatuated one.

“Alphonse-sama!” She had scolded him during one of their dancing lessons. “You must remember, dancing is communicating feelings you can’t otherwise exteriorize!”

And right now, he perfectly understood what she had meant. Holding her so close, he could feel his love overflowing and flowing into her spirit in a continuous connection. For what seemed like an eternity, the world was just theirs, the dancing ring was their little universe, but it was enough, because they had each other.

The song finished sooner than either of them wanted, but they didn’t realise it was over until they heard claps from the table.

“That is one amazing dance.”

“Yes, please teach us!”

“Do Amestrians always dance it?”

The questions were coming from all around the table, making Al smile: Mei might have just been right. He had worried over nothing.

Ling was watching the guests learn the Amestrian waltz proudly, nodding like a doting parent (despite the small age gap) at Alphonse’s progress in getting integrated into the Xingese community.

He felt Lan’s stare on him and smirked. “Something weighing on your mind?” He asked her, reading the unspoken question.

“When did you get the performers to learn this song, Young Master?” Lan inquired, stepping out of her shadow.

“Oh. It was after we returned from Ed’s wedding. It was the song playing while we danced on the roof.” He reminded her, innerly sulking at the fact that she had to wear the mask, which was doubtlessly covering a delightful blush right now.

“Did you know? It’s an Amestrian tradition for this to be the first dance the married couple shares.” He told Lan, smirking in Mei and Alphonse’s direction.

Lan followed his gaze and smiled under the mask: soon enough, they might see them share that dance yet again.

[agentwallflower]

Dull One, Chapter 15

I’m here! I can’t breathe and I keep sneezing, but I’m here.

Didn’t get ANY Dull One work done in this two weeks... I’ll be better next week I promise. But hey, I have a nice little buffer so you can get this!

See you on... September 3rd for the next chapter!

“Come on, Spae. You can't tell me anything?”

Spaekna was being annoyingly tight lipped as they walked along the red path that slowly tinged to blue. A sign they had passed told all visitors that they were entering the commercial district, with paths leading to the courts not far by. Here it was much busier, and the various citizens and residents of the capital went about their business. Still, someone in a uniform got a respectable enough of berth, so walking was easy.

Mointz could feel the eyes on the back of her neck, and it was putting her in a rather foul mood. Coupled with her left knee beginning to act up, and she was fit to be tied. Her friend wasn't making it much easier as they stopped for a brief moment to rest.

“Sorry, the captain would have my head if I said anything. She got this from the general. It's silence all the way down until I drop you off at the royal court.” He frowned as he watched her rub her knee. “Are you alright? You've been limping ever since you got here. Amethyst didn't get you hurt, did she?”

The girl shook her head as she leaned back on the stone bench they were sitting on. It wasn't the most comfortable, but it got her off her feet. Plus, from where she was sitting it was easy to listen to people as they passed. She must have heard at least five languages, and what she was pretty sure was a dialect of sand tongue, but at her distance it was a little hard to tell.

Finally, she answered. “It's from an old injury. Riding so far probably didn't help.”

With a wince, Spaekna nodded in sympathy. “Yeah, I have to admit that riding those monsters isn't exactly fun. Why they bred them to be so bitey is beyond me.”

He held up his metal arm, showing a scar right above the elbow. “One got me when I was just a recruit. Nasty little things don't like to let go.”

Guess they have a taste for fish.

At least it was sunny out. It didn't help her move improve much, but Mointz was glad to have a little sunlight on her back. The winter had been far too cold for her tastes, and it had made movement even less pleasant. Now, even though she was stiff and sore, it was a little easier.

Though, the thought of winter made her turn to her friend. “Since we're sitting here and all, can I ask how your people wound up here? We're a long way from where you started.”

“Why, are you going to tell Rechaj we're alive?” Spaekna snorted. “Is she dead yet, or what? I heard the fins were going to put the hit on her if she made it another year. Something about harvest time or something.”

Mointz shook her head as she stared down at the ground. “She's deposed. Her daughter took over. Wasn't there to see it myself.”

Spaekna let out a low whistle as he leaned back on the bench. “Damn, didn't see that one coming. Would've made things easier. But hey, can't exactly plan a coup strike when you're the second biggest fish in the tank. Mom said go, so we went.”

He was looking at his metal hand as he said that. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mointz still recalled the dark night where she'd wound up with the severed limb in her lap. She had never found out what they had done with that, and honestly she didn't want to know. With how angry Rechaj had been, it wouldn't have been too pleasant.

A rather tense silence fell over the duo. Neither were looking at each other, one focused on the crowds and the other on their arm. Sweat trickled down the girl's forehead as she swallowed past a lump in her throat. Her heart was pounding in an unsyncronized beat.

“So... how did you get here?”

The soldier's voice was a little calmer when he spoke again. “Well, after you saved us we had to get out pretty fast. We had some boats ready, nothing really sturdy but it worked. Our god protected us against the waves and monsters, otherwise we would've been fish food.”

He looked up to the sky. “Wound up north of where your village is. Thought about going to see you, but a scout I sent said you'd died. Weird how you don't seem to be very dead at all.”

Funny how that keeps popping up.

Mointz nodded, and so he continued. “We kept going north, eventually wound up straight in the middle of an empire trap. I guess they were looking for forced labor or... other things I don't really want to think about. You come fresh off a coup, you don't take that lightly. We beat them back, routed a whole squad. I thought they were going to kill us for sure, but the general himself offered us safe passage.”

The girl could already feel a catch looming, but she said nothing. From the look on his face, none of this was exactly easy to talk about. With the sunny day and spring weather, it was all still so hard to believe. Yet, she waited for him to finish his tale.

Spaekna took a deep breath as he played with the fastening that held his prosthetic to his arm. “Made a deal, it's kind of standard here. Do work or serve in the army, and you get citizenship after a while. After we got here, they gave me this hand. It's a bit hard to serve if you're disarmed.”

He held it out for her to see. “It's pretty good. I mean, not as good as the one you lopped off me, but beggars can't be choosers.”

He smiled as he said it, but it didn't reach his eyes. Mointz fought to keep the frown off her face as she nodded. Whatever sentiment was shared between them, neither commented on it as they watched the crowds pass by.

“It's been weird, I'll admit. Getting used to the language and customs wasn't easy.” Spaekna winced almost playfully. “Food's pretty weird too. My stomach still hurts getting used to it. It's all way too spicy for me.”

That one she had to chuckle at. Less than fond memories flooded back about similar stomach aches felt back in the Ring Kingdom. They had gone away faster than his, but the memory still lingered.

“I know that one.”

“Figured you were. Down south's even worse if I heard it right from the people coming in.” That time he really did smile as they stood again. “Their whole goddess worship thing isn't going so well, though. They're adjusting worse than we did to the city gods.”

Spaekna frowned as he said it. “Not that I can blame them; there's too damn many of them. Can't keep their feast days straight to save my life. If half the barracks didn't go to the last one, I would've been stuck there polishing my sword like an idiot.”

Oh... should've guessed from the statues these guys aren't exactly pray who you want to pray for.

Mointz felt something heavy drop to the bottom of her stomach as she followed her guide. The feelings were back again, swirling like ink through water before it dyed everything black. She frowned hard, and felt herself lose pace slightly.

“I-”

Much to her surprise, Spaekna shook his head as he turned to face her. “Don't apologize. It's not perfect, but we're alive. That's the best I could've asked for with what we were dealing with.”

As much as she wanted to believe it, the feeling in her stomach didn't settle as they continued to walk to wherever he was taking her. If he was anything like his people, putting up a good front might have come naturally. Still, it would have been rude to argue with him too much, so she let it drop. It didn't doo much for her confidence in the empire, though. In fact, she was even less eager to work with them.

Yeah let's not get stuck here. I don't want to learn their gods if there's that many.

One was bad enough in her book.

At any rate, the path changed from the red of the military road to a light yellow. Now, instead of barracks, it was wide open. The sun beat down on the both of them, causing the sweat to trickle down the back of the girl's neck. At least it wasn't snowing.

“Is it always this warm?”

Spaekna nodded when he turned back to face her. “The saying goes snow never falls on the facets of a diamond. The two years I've been here, it's never dipped below freezing, but it doesn't get summer hot either.”

Warmth creeped into her face as he gave her a once over. “Though, you might just be hot because of your clothes. You'll get the chance to change once court's over. Dress for late spring if you don't want to sweat to death.”

That's doable. We don't want you dropping dead in the middle of the street from heat exhaustion. What would I do?

Mointz shook her head as she continued to follow behind her friend. The path colors were changing once again, turning to a light yellow color. These buildings didn't seem to be residentual, nor did they feel like it either. She could hear snatches of conversation in at least three languages, all in the same sort of tone.

Once again, Spaekna played host. “The city's schools and university are all here along with the mage's alliance home base. The best magicians in the empire come here to study. Something about the location being right; didn't make much sense to me.”

He kept rambling on about how the empire brought in young children to learn, but it was lost on the girl as she looked around. A familiar tingle had entered under her skin, waking up her senses. It had been a long time since she had felt like this, and the muscle memory caused her to shiver.

“Corabe would love this.”

As soon as the words left her lips, Mointz blinked in surprise. It had been a while since she had last thought of her friend, and it still brought the warm feelings in her stomach. Wherever she was, she was hopefully alright. Maybe if she was lucky, the young magician would one day pass through here. She would have loved the place, especially with the stained window that perfectly matched her headband.

She's probably off making sparks in the woods somewhere. Let her boyfriend worry about her.

Something green and nasty clawed at the warm feeling, slashing it to ribbons. The remains trickled away, leaving her empty once more. Mointz turned away from the window and headed away from the mage's works.

It was starting to leave a foul taste in her mouth.

If Spaekna had been caurious about what had cuased her change in mood, he was prudent enough not to ask. Instead, he guided her towards a higher elevation of the city, along light blue stones that reflected the light. It reminded her of pond water, though it wasn't entirely pleasant once she checked the sign. They were heading towards the city's administrative district, no doubt where the court would be.

Her village had small kinds of dispute settling, and she had watched a larger display a year prior. However, Mointz found herself at a loss to what this would be like. Apparently, they wanted to see her, but that's really all she understood with her friend being less than forthcoming. She was walking in blind, and it didn't exactly put her at ease.

“You're due in the royal circle's court.” There was a slight hestiation in the man's voice when she turned to him for an explanation. “It's... well, it's not good, I have to be honest with you. The serious stuff goes there. I thought that since it was your first time, maybe you'd get bumped down to juvenile.”

He whistled slightly, shaking his head. “I still can't believe you're the one who cracked the crystal sun and attempted to murder the queen of the Ring Kingdom. You sure have gotten yourself into a lot of trouble since we parted.”

Panic rocked through her entire body. “I didn't try to kill anyone! She was the one who nearly killed me!”

Spaekna raised his hands as if to protect from the blow. “Hey, don't shoot the messenger! I'm just letting you know what charges they're probably going to bring you up on.”

Can they even charge you? You're not a citizen.

Mointz doubted that, but it seemed unlikely that an empire used to aborbing people really tended to care. Her neck itched in memory of the ring kingdom's queen, and if she closed her eyes it was easy to see her standing there with the knife. Even the warm sun didn't do much to take the chill off her bones.

“What happens to me if I lose?”

Her guide frowned as he looked up to the sky. “Not sure; for this sort of thing execution and mounting your head on a pike tends to be the classic. Thing is, you're cooperating so it be rude to kill you. Maybe just twenty years of hard labor, it depends on who's judging. Course, I think you got a hard ass; people have been talking about it for weeks.”

Spaekna frowned. “I probably shouldn't have said that.”

No, he shouldn't have. Her stomach was in all out riot now, with no relief in sight. As Mointz broke out in a cold sweat in front of the judicial building, it was hard to focus on anything but her possible death. If so many people knew about her miraculous recovery, then an executioner would be much more careful than usual. Losing was not an option if she wanted to keep her head.

Problem was, she had no idea what she was getting into. All she knew was that she was on trial, and it was bad. With that to go on, all she could think of was that it really wasn't going to be her day and that she should have probably poisoned that guard.

Hindsight was sadly twenty/twenty some days.

[forlovedogs11]

Ohh no, your dog ate chicken bones? Make sure it never happen again.

Dog and Chicken bones: Are you confused? Read On…

Dogs love bones and we have seen it for a very long time. Even if not, in reality, we have really watched every movie and cartoon with Dogs having bones in their mouths. What to do if your dog eat chicken bones?(1)

Trust me, I’ve always had a million questions. ‘Cause, after all, we don’t do that with bones!

Do you love chicken bones and do you feed the same to Doggy?

Well!! Talking of bones, we humans, love chicken and it is quite obvious we feed chicken to our Dogs too.

We love eating the chicken lollipop( the leg is just the perfect chicken part) and the wings too. Also, the chicken breast. Uh! We love chicken, completely.

But have you had trouble with the bones? Sometimes yeah! But has your Dog?!

Well, don’t leave it silly if he has had an issue. You better take care of that. Before even talking about Dogs eating chicken bones, there is a bigger warning.

DO NOT LET THEM INHALE BONES! IT WILL BLOCK THEIR WINDPIPE AND SUFFOCATE BREATHING.

(Seriously! It can get stuck in their windpipe. Rush to the vet ‘cause it is going to be great trouble)

So what would you do if your Dog eats chicken bones or gets troubled with it?

Doggy enjoys yummy chicken, it’s like a feast to him, sometimes while enjoying delicious chicken bones gets stuck in his throat.

So when you see your Doggy choking or gagging help him out by removing the bone safely.

If it doesn’t work, what are you waiting for take him to the nearest VET. Generally, trouble comes with the cooked chicken bones. Raw bones are the best for Dogs health.

It is so funny that we have trouble with the raw ones. ( Eyyooouu!! We won’t even take it anywhere near our mouth! Gosh!!!!!)

Raw bones can be much messed up and end up being bloody. Yeah! Mouth Injuries! Check with the vet!

You should note that raw bones are good for your Dog. They love it but sometimes “sometimes” these can get stuck or cause trouble (especially cooked bones).

Such situations can be wisely handled ‘cause all you need to do is consult a vet and its done. Neat and clean. Do not panic and scare your Dog too.

What to do if chicken bones gets stuck in lower jaws of Doggy?

You know it is very irritating and painful when food particles get stuck in your lower jaw. So imagine the plight of the poor thing. With the bones looping in the lower jaw, there is going to be much anxiety for the Dog. Stay calm and take him to the vet.

There can be another situation – Bone getting stuck in the esophagus!

Chicken bones are very smooth and when broken, often leave very sharp edges. If your Dog is choking don’t try to vomit your Doggy there is a risk of sharp sliver of bone cutting the esophagus on the way up and out. Just don’t do much of anything. Take Your Doggy to the nearest VET.

Warning! Why your Dog shouldn’t eat chicken bones. (2)

Gut Impaction: Sometimes bones can get stuck in the intestine of your Dog. This causes a blockage and it will require surgery.

Constipation: Sharp and scraping bones will give a hard, resulting in constipation. There can be severe pain as the bone fragments will be hard to pass out.

Rectum bleeding can occur and it can be very dangerous.

Peritonitis: Bacterial infection “peritonitis” can be caused by the bone fragments. This can even lead to the death of your Dog.

Due to the given circumstances, consulting a vet is important when your Dog has eaten chicken bones. It is going to be alright, but you should be smart to save your Dog.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will your Dog be ok if he ate Chicken bones?

Yes, He is going to be Ok, only if you take the right and smart decision at the right time.

Stay calm nothing to worry contact your vet immediately. You can also give him some digestive juice that would help the bones to pass easily to the other end without tearing intestine and esophagus.

What Types Of Bones Can Dogs Eat?

There are different types of animal bones , when it comes to feed your canine you have to follow some guidelines.

Raw bones: It safer to give your Dog raw bones than cooked bones. Raw bone is bendy and springy, your canine will get minerals and vitamins from raw bones.

While cooking hardens the bones and increases the risk of breaking the bones when chewed.

Bone size: Bone may get stuck in the esophagus, the tube that food travels through to reach the stomach. Always opt for marrow bones because they won’t be able to swallow, Doggy has to chew it down and digestion becomes simple.

How long does it take a Dog to digest a bone?

Sharp-tooth and mouth are intended in such a way that it can bite and chew food quickly and easily.

They have powerful and strong esophagus. Like humans our body PH level plays a major role in digestion and almost all functions of the body.

In the same manner-the lower PH in the stomach of your Dog, the faster food is broken down by hydrochloric acid and enzymes and transformed into nutrients. Dogs PH level of stomach should be lower for their fast digestion.

There are different organs, fluids and enzymes involved in the Dog digestive system, all playing their roles to transform food into usable energy.

Full process of digestion is completed in 8 hours after meal. This time is shorter for small breeds and longer for large breeds.

So, what’s the takeaway?

What to do if your dog eat chicken bones? “It is better to stop something bad from happening than it is to deal with it after it has happened.” I don’t say do not feed you Doggy chicken but please do check he doesn’t swallow any chicken bones. Whenever you serve your Dog Chicken please confirm there is no chicken bones in the bowl because it might put his life in trouble.

You can serve him raw marrow chicken bones.

Watch them carefully. Well, chicken bones may not be the absolute worst thing your Dog could ingest, it is certainly not, by any means, considered safe.

[flauntpage]

Blue Jays Mailbag: Osuna, Travis' Health, and Trading for a Mets Outfielder

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Andrew Stoeten answers your questions in our Blue Jays Mailbag, which runs weekly at VICE Sports. You can send him questions at stoeten@gmail.com, and follow him on Twitter.

The Blue Jays are through a strange and frustrating road trip, which ended up being uplifting thanks to a Sunday win and an appearance from their closer.

The club continues to float around the .500 mark, and have had a devil of a time crossing it, but in the two-team wild-card era, that means they are firmly still in the playoff picture, and fans are thinking long and hard about trading for upgrades—as we'll see below in this week's Blue Jays mailbag!

So let's crack it open and feast on the goo inside!

If you have a Blue Jays question you'd like me to tackle for next week, be sure to send it to stoeten@gmail.com. As always, I have not read any of Griff's answers.

Should the people that bagged on Osuna for taking time due to mental illness be shot into the sun *or* ocean? Sean

This seems to be as good a place to start as any, because yeah, it ought to be at least one of those places, right? But… hmmmm… since those people were such fucking squids, maybe they'd be a little too happy to be sent to the bottom of the sea. So… yeah… sun it is!

Seriously, though, I was fortunate in that I was away for the weekend and so only managed to have one eye on this stuff as it was happening. I hardly even know what to say about it now, except that it was great to see Osuna back out on the mound Sunday, as well as his teammates' reaction to it. And if seeing that helps underline, for all the fans who sometimes have trouble realizing, that players are actual human beings, that's another positive we can take from it—to go along with the fact that Osuna being brave enough to have this be so public will only help to destigmatize such issues.

Osuna told reporters this past weekend that he's been dealing with anxiety. Photo by Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports

It, perhaps, can also serve as a reminder to a not-dissimilar subset of fans that nothing good can come out of blinding, venom-spouting frustration, especially about a sport which is so naturally awash in frustrating moments. And also, you dopes, that when a manager says an unused player "wasn't feeling well tonight, that's all you need to know," it isn't necessarily a thinly-veiled attempt at covering for some colossal fuckup or an affront to your right to know absolutely everything about an ugly loss that so badly and thoroughly loosened your bowels.

---

Why is Jason Grilli still on the team? Ryan

Because of Drew Storen.

Or… OK… Grilli isn't exactly still here because of Storen, but consider the case of last year's would-be setup man. "Two's Scorin'" had an awful time on the mound for the Blue Jays, lost the confidence of the fans and his manager, then worked his way back to looking OK-ish (from May 20 to June 24 he pitched to a 1.35 ERA, allowing just 12 hits, walking 4 and striking out 12, in 13.1 innings), wobbled a bit again, and then was flipped for Joaquin Benoit—a reliever who'd struggled in his own right in Seattle, but who ended up being crucial for the Jays in the second half.

Grilli, sadly, has been worse in 2017 than Storen ever was for the Blue Jays, but the velocity is still there, and he's shown for a long time that he can get the job done. Teams aren't going to pay a lot for that, but the Jays aren't crazy to think that they can make him viable again, or that there might be another team willing to flip a similar player to them for the chance to try it themselves.

The veteran Grilli has gotten torched this season. Photo by Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports

Yes, there will come a time, if things don't improve, where they'll need to part ways with him, but right now, what's the upside? Grilli has only pitched four times in the three weeks since getting blasted by the Yankees earlier this month, so the opportunity for someone else to provide significantly more value in that role just really isn't there. Upgrading their fifth-best right-handed reliever simply wouldn't do much for this team beyond making Grilli haters feel satisfied with themselves. And given what Grilli has been in his career, what he did for the Jays last season, what they like about him as a veteran in the clubhouse, and what he (theoretically) could still be—either as a trade asset or as an asset on the mound in his own right—I completely understand why the club is having more patience here than some fans maybe would like.

---

Granderson could probably be had for a relatively low price. Think he's a viable option for LF? I realize he wouldn't be first choice. @renusm

I'm not sure Granderson would be the Jays' first choice on his own team, to be honest.

Late in the winter of 2016, the club appeared to have worked out a trade that would have sent Michael Saunders to the Angels, a few presumably not-so-great prospects to the Reds, and Jay Bruce from Cincinnati to Toronto. I wrote a piece at the time that I titled "Jay Bruce Is Bad, But That Might Not Stop The Jays From Trading For Him," which has led a few readers to assume over the last year that I have some kind of massive problem with Bruce. I definitely did cheer when the deal fell apart, but I also wrote this:

If it's just Saunders, and if it's somehow cash neutral, I can buy believing in Bruce's ceiling over Saunders' (despite Saunders' 3 WAR advantage in 2014, his last healthy-ish season), given the big uptick in durability and his (theoretical) potential as a 2017 asset [ Bruce had a 2017 option, Saunders was due to be a free agent]. I could even buy paying a premium to make that switch, I suppose. But not a big one. And certainly not one where the organization ends up committing dollars that could have gone to literally anything else that could have helped this club out.

It turns out the Jays' thinking was similar to my own, with one crucial exception: they liked Jay Bruce. And rightly so, it turns out.

We later learned that the Reds were going to pay $8 million of Bruce's $12.5 million salary, making the deal close to cash-neutral (Saunders made $2.9 million in 2016) and presumably low in terms of the prospects given up. A year ago the front office looked extremely fortunate that the deal had fallen apart—Bruce was OK enough, but Saunders was on his way to making the AL All-Star team. Over the last 365 days, though, it's become clear that Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins were likely onto something: Saunders has been essentially the worst position player in baseball (his -1.2 WAR is dead last among the 242 players with at least 350 plate appearances over that span and he was just released by the Phillies), while Bruce has been more than fine, putting up two wins, a 111 wRC+, and blasting 37 home runs.

Twenty of those home runs for Bruce have come this year, as he's put up a 131 wRC+ to go along with his best walk rate since 2012, and his lowest strikeout rate since 2009. His defence has been much better than the way it was trending a year ago, too. Though the samples are too small to be too meaningful, the +4 DRS and +1.7 UZR he's sitting on as an outfielder (he loses defensive value in the overall because of a handful of bad games at first base) are both pretty impressive. And they're better marks than Granderson has been capable of in recent years.

I haven't looked at Bruce's defence much this year, if at all, so I'm not going to act like these numbers are the be-all, end-all and he's suddenly good out there, but it seems like he's not going to kill you in the field and has been an asset with the bat. Bruce has been streaky, with noticeable drop-offs in his production in the second half of every year since 2013, but with the success this year, plus the previous interest (he was linked to the Jays several times early on this past offseason), and the cost, I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one the Jays are interested in.

But Granderson does make some sense, too. He's likely to be better at getting on base (once Bruce regresses a bit), offers at least a little bit of speed that Bruce doesn't, a little bit of power in his own right, and could maybe hit at the top of the Jays' lineup if they did acquire him.

Both are a cut above what the Jays will roll out there, even once Ezequiel Carrera returns to full health, and both should come at a relatively low price tag, given that they're not great, and are free agents at the end of the season. So… sure...

---

What's your thoughts on Travis, injury prone time to move on, bad luck, wait it out or something else Paul

Time to move on?? Holy shit, man.

Look, to be honest, my credibility on the idea of whether or not a player deserves the "injury prone" tag went down with the good ship Brandon Morrow several years ago, but I'm of the mind that fans think they know and can see and understand a whole lot more about this stuff than they really do. A.J. Burnett was a guy who was always injured… until starting in 2008, at age 31, he reeled off seven straight seasons of 30 or more starts, y'know? And Dustin McGowan could never stay healthy, and yet he's thrown 107 innings out of the Marlins' bullpen over the last two years, and has done a damn fine job of it.

Travis has been limited to 213 games over the last three seasons and was recently transferred to the 60-day DL. Photo by Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

I guess what it comes down to, for me, is that there's a difference between "that guy is always hurt" and "that guy is always going to be hurt," and I certainly don't think Travis is in the latter category yet.

Like, we're basically only talking about two injuries when it comes to Devon's young Blue Jays career: a shoulder injury caused by the fact that his bones didn't fuse properly as he was growing up, and the ongoing trouble with his knee, which seems to have not quite healed right. They've played out like multiple injuries—Travis tried to play through pain and keep himself on the field as best he could—but are they? Really?

And if his medical history with the Jays really comes down to just two injuries, serious as they have been, I'm not sure it's fair to think that he's always going to be hurt, or to act like there's something especially wrong with him, physically, that means he's more likely than anyone else to pick up any other kind of injury.

The Jays could use a rental second baseman to finish out this season with, and it would be silly of me to say that all this must have only been bad luck and he should be entirely fine going forward, but as far as I'm concerned there is not a lot of reason to be afraid of him having trouble staying healthy beyond that. Which means I probably just cursed him. Fuck!

---

Hi Stoeten

Ideally, the Blue Jays could use a huge talent upgrade at multiple spots to lift themselves out of the pack of teams within a couple games of a playoff spot. But with relatively few teams that are actively selling and a front office looking to balance the present and future, it is likely the team will have to find particular areas to focus on at the trade deadline.

If you were the front office, how would you rank the following areas of need?

-Second Baseman who can hit and is at least adept defensively -Left Fielder who can field and is at least adept offensively -Late inning left-handed RP -Back-up Catcher -Starting pitcher with a proven track record of winning games which bring the team to .500 (or maybe just additional rotation depth)

Or would you just throw out the idea of ranking needs and sell everything!?

Thanks Josh

Well, I certainly wouldn't sell everything. I also don't see much need for another starter at the big league level—though depth pieces could always help. Backup catcher seems fine, too—though I'd be terrified to see more of Luke Maile as a starter, should anything happen to Russell Martin again—so I guess it's just the other three things the Jays should be most concerned about.

The thing is, the Jays aren't exactly dying for any of these positions to be upgraded, either. The right-handers in their bullpen have handled lefties well, their left field situation won't be too bad once Ezequiel Carrera comes back (which is a crazy thing to think, but he's had a nice year so far!), and second base is... ugly, but they've at least got some adept defenders to use there.

Are one of these Mets a future Blue Jay? Photo by Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports

I guess by the way I've characterized it there, second base would have to rank at the top, followed by left field, then the bullpen lefty. But why rank? I've never seen the point in these sorts of exercises, to be honest. There are places to upgrade, there are pieces to upgrade with, and the deals that make the most sense will make the most sense. I don't think teams benefit from being rigid about which sorts of moves have to be made more than others (unless the problem is especially obvious, like the 2015 Jays needing a starting pitcher), because there are just so many moving parts and so many ways to go about adding value.

Which is to say: it seems to me like the easiest way to add value to these Jays would be to find a legit second baseman for the rest of the season, but it's entirely possible their best way to make the team better (while preserving future assets as best they can) may not run through second base. And I also think that thinking about it too much this way just leads to nonsense like we saw after the Tulowitzki trade in 2015, where some fans lost their minds about shortstop not being as important a spot to upgrade as the rotation was, as though there couldn't be another trade still coming, or the club was too focused on the wrong priorities. They're focused on every place they can make the club better.

Blue Jays Mailbag: Osuna, Travis' Health, and Trading for a Mets Outfielder published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv