#they were really like here's a boy full of domestic hobbies that are all trauma related

[mystery-box-gifs]

🪴 Plant Dad 🪴 

[nellie-elizabeth]

okay, bear with me because this is kind of an unhinged ramble, but one of the things that’s sort of been driving me bonkers in the back of my head is that the finale was terrible... but that I honestly think it would have been quite easy to change just a few little things to make it... well, maybe not good, but certainly less rage-inducing. I don’t think any version of the story as presented to us would have left me thrilled by this ending, but I can actually think of a few very easy changes that would have had me walking away maybe a little irked, certainly disappointed in what we didn’t get to see, but ultimately more at peace.

Let’s pretend this is a world in which they couldn’t/didn’t want to have Misha in the finale, couldn’t get a big ol’ group of returning stars... and we basically had to work with a bare-bones structure like what we saw in the finale. So this isn’t pie-in-the-sky, what I would do if I could have what I wanted... This is down to earth, pragmatic, simple things they could have done to make it better, if we’re constrained to the basic shell we were provided.

Ready?

1) This is the big one: flip around the "Sam’s domestic life with his son” montage so that it starts BEFORE the vampire case and Dean’s death.

So basically, the montage at the beginning, we see the boys living normally in the bunker. We get the pie scene (which I’ll touch on in a second). But then, instead of segueing straight into the hunt where Dean dies, we see a flash of the next 5 to 10 years of their lives. We see them living in the bunker, but it gets slowly more homey, more lived-in. Vitally, for Dean’s character specifically, we see hints of him picking up new hobbies, maybe he’s playing the guitar, we see him in the kitchen, maybe he’s playing D&D, I don’t know. Something to show that Dean is living life and enjoying it, getting to find out who he is without the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s not totally settled, you get the sense that the lingering sadness of his losses, the trauma of his life, is always going to weigh on him... but he’s doing what he can to enjoy the little things, and he’s taking pride in his continued work as a hunter.

Eileen moves in, and if we can’t see the actress, fine, we can have Sam saying “Eileen called, she’s getting home late, we should start dinner” or whatever. It’s implied that the three of them are living there together. We see that Sam has a son, we see that Dean is an active part of the kid’s life, a great uncle, totally spoiling his nephew. Maybe we see shots of Sam and Dean on other hunts, we have phone calls, mentions like “hey, Jody has a lead” or “Charlie called, she wants us to back her up on xyz.” Basically, through a montage or through a short sequence of scenes, we see that Sam and Dean have continued on, life as usual... but there’s a peace to it now without big cosmic forces standing in their way. Maybe Sam and Eileen semi-retire and move out into the suburbs, and we get shots of Dean-as-the-new-Bobby, a role I always imagined for Sam, but it works for Dean, too.... the bunker is central station, he’s coordinating things, he’s finding new skills within the life of hunting, he’s mentoring people and still getting to save people and hunt things.

And then, Sam and Dean, who don’t always hunt together anymore as Dean often goes off with other hunters, and Sam and Eileen are less active in the field now that they have a kid, decide to take a case together, just a routine hunt. Cue Dean getting impaled on a nail (or maybe he dies in a less awkward way so he doesn’t have to lean against a wall and make his big death scene looking completely unhurt? Which I thought was really strange).

But basically, we could have a version of the death scene as stands. I do not hate the idea of Dean dying in a relatively “mundane” way... literally just the idea that he lived for a handful of years after defeating Chuck makes the idea of his death SO much less empty and devastating for me, because this time Dean didn’t get cut down before he got to enjoy his life at all. It’s still sad that he’s dying younger than he should have, but he died doing a thing that he loved, he found love in the hunting lifestyle without the pressure of other’s expectations, and we got to SEE that, we got to see him making it his own, and making it just one important slice in a more robust and happy life.

Vitally, instead of saying “it’s always been you and me” during the goodbye speech, and making it all about how Sam is the center of Dean’s world, it would be framed more like “I’ll be okay, Sammy, and so will you... go home to your family, to our family, tell the kid to be good, but not too good, okay? And I’ll go be with our family that’s already passed on... we’ll see each other again. We’ve got Jack looking after us.” When Sam says “I can’t do this alone,” Dean doesn’t answer “yes you can...” Instead he says “you’re not alone, Sam.” Because he’s not. He has a family already at this point, and Dean is his family, but he’s not the only person left in Sam’s world that he loves. Dean can still say he was scared to get Sam at Stanford, that he didn’t know what he’d have done without Sam... but he’s so glad they got to be family, got to share so many amazing years, got to be best friends and be there for each other through so much craziness. This time, Sam’s “don’t leave me” isn’t quite as soul-renderingly tragic, because Sam has a wife and a kid already. The death scene would emphasize the tragedy of this separation, but acknowledges that they’ve grown to have more to live for outside of each other.

Then, we see more of Sam growing old, but he seems less utterly miserable, had more years with his brother before the end, knows that Dean got to be a part of his kid’s life, and feels confident that Dean is at peace and that he’ll see him eventually.

2) The second change is even more simple, it’s literally just adding in a couple extra lines of dialogue to... fix the Castiel situation a bit. So. Ahem. Again, this is imagining a world where Misha can’t be in the episode, where we’re keeping the basic structure. There are just two small changes that fix this, for me.

One, before the montage and Sam having a kid and all that, at the pie festival scene at the beginning... when Sam says “I miss Cas and Jack,” we get a slightly more robust response from Dean. He talks about how they fought so hard to break free of their unhealthy cycles, to escape the influence of fate, and that as much as he wants Cas back, he can’t risk making things worse again and betraying Cas’ sacrifice... but THEN, IMPORTANTLY, he says “Jack’s gonna be hand’s-off, but we know he’ll look after Cas no matter what.” This could be just a faith thing, or if we’re allowed to stretch back into 15x19 and fix that too, Jack could even say that as part of his goodbye, like, “I’ll make sure Cas is at peace.” So now, even though it’s annoying that Dean isn’t rushing to rescue Cas from the Empty, it could be more akin to the later decision when Dean tells Sam not to try and bring him back. Sam knows Dean is going to a peaceful afterlife when he dies, and Dean and Sam let Cas go because they know he’s safe with Jack and also given his rest/peace. (Instead of what we got, which was just... they knew Cas was in the Empty and didn’t even bother checking if Jack would like... handle that?)

Second, when Dean goes to Heaven, at least having lived a decade or so of the life that Cas sacrificed himself to provide for him, he sees Bobby, Bobby gives him the spiel, says that Jack and Cas helped make Heaven better (in this version, Dean would be less surprised by this; he would have known even as he was dying that Jack was going to look out for him and all of the other deceased souls). And then Bobby says, “what do you want to do?” and Dean says “I want to see my family... gotta get some good quality time in before Sam shows up and hogs all the attention.” So it’s like a balance of the fact that he’s waiting for Sam and can’t wait to see him again, but it’s implied that he goes and hangs out with his mom (and dad, ugh, John is the WORST, but maybe he went through The Good Place afterlife and he’s learned to be a good person lol), with Bobby, with Cas, and even with Jack, maybe, as perhaps the new God doesn’t mind chillin’ with the already-dead humans, or at least the ones who raised him.

It would be dealer’s choice as to how Destiel-ish Dean’s final line here could be... he could say the thing about waiting for Sam but going to reunite with his family, first, and throw in something about “there’s a conversation with someone that I really need to finish.” Something vague enough that the homophobes would let it fucking air on TV, but promising enough to put a smile on at least some people’s faces.

Then, instead of the montage being just Dean driving around, we get something a little different, but still very simple. We see Dean maybe hanging out in a house in Heaven, playing with Miracle the dog, maybe a callback to a hobby we saw him have on Earth, playing music or cooking, implying a full afterlife even if we don’t get to see the other people... he’s setting a table for like a dozen people who are coming over soon for dinner, or he’s shouting out “hurry up, my parents are hosting” to an unseen occupant in another room, we see Cas’ trench coat slung over a chair, general signs of habitation and home.

We’re cutting between this Heaven montage of Dean, with the montage of Sam on Earth, growing older (and in my version, someone who knows what they’re doing makes Jared’s wig and age makeup look less like the stuff of nightmares, oh holy hell....). We see Sam letting go, dying of old age, going to his rest...

And in Heaven, Dean suddenly freezes in the middle of playing fetch with the dog, or frying up some bacon for breakfast. He gets a look on his face... a hopeful smile. He’s just realized that Sam is coming. He can sense it. This is what he’s been waiting for, the last thing he needs to make Heaven truly perfect. He gets in the impala (which isn’t literally the spirit of his car, it’s just that everything he loves from Earth gets to be with him in Heaven), and he drives off to the bridge while “Carry On Wayward Son” kicks onto the radio. He gets out of the car, reunites with Sam, says “hey, Sammy. Everyone’s going to be so excited to see you.” They hug, they look out over the bridge... The End.

SO. Just to reiterate, this is NOT my version of what the “perfect” finale would have been. This is more just a way for me to process my feelings about the fact that the episode was pretty much entirely awful in my opinion, and it would have been relatively easy to fix it so that it was only... medium awful. Like, with basically no huge changes, just letting Dean be a part of his nephew’s life, getting to be a part of Sam’s life as Sam started a family, and then still having the poignancy of him dying before his time, but also as a hero, as the best version of the thing he always thought he needed to be but now has chosen to be, has taken ownership and pride in. And then by just buffing up some dialogue in a couple of spots, we could have had an episode that still centered primarily on Sam and Dean, still ended on just the two of them (which, frankly, I’m not mad about, it’s their show, and it has been from day one...), but still honored the message of “family don’t end in blood.” Still honored the idea of found family and community and belonging and living for more than just each other.

And if that’s what I had walked away with... well, I would have had some complaints. But I think the whole thing would have felt a lot less... empty to me. And it would have been doable, within the constraints of COVID, and limited actor availability, etc.

There have been some finales that I’ve hated so truly and thoroughly that there was simply no way to engage with them without it tainting the whole show for me. This finale was so weird, because I feel like just a few band-aids, some punch-ups to the script, would have made me feel SO much better about what we got. They didn’t need to reinvent the wheel with this one. Even given the constraints, they could have been a little more creative, a little more thoughtful, and pissed people off a lot less.

[nadiaamartinez-blog1]

Character Information

Full Name. Nadia Emiliana Martinez

Age & Birthday. 26. July 27th.

Gender Identity. CisFemale

Preferred Pronouns. She/Her

Romantic Orientation. Pansexual

Sexual Orientation. Panromantic

Hometown. Lemon Grove

Neighborhood. The Junction

Family Information *

Mother. Consuelo Alvarez-Garcia (birth mother)/Stefanie Martinez (adoptive mother

Father. Emilio Alvarez (birth father)/David Martinez (Adoptive father)

Siblings. TBA Martinez sibling #1, TBA Martinez sibling #2.

Pets. A pup named Coco.

Other Family Members of Importance. None at the moment!

Please describe your character’s family dynamics. Nadia is very close with her family. She loves her parents and her siblings beyond anything else, and would do anything for them.

Personality Information

Positive Traits. alluring, passionate, determined, charismatic, confident

Negative Traits. flirtatious, jealous, obsessive, arrogant, reckless

Star Sign. Leo

Likes. pink wine, red lipstick, handbags, shoes, crystals, taking long baths, full moons, catching the perfect candid, body positivity, classic rock

Dislikes. insecurity, bigotry, hatred, prejudice, racism, “conventional” beauty, relish, pork, most vegetables

Pet Peeves. internet trolls, flat tummy teas, fake people

Most Embarrassing Memory. Nadia had a big bed-wetting phase, and one time she wet the bed during naptime in kindergarten.

Hobbies. Drawing, painting, photography, boxing, concerts/musical festivals

Guilty Pleasure. Peanut butter dipped Oreos, chocolate lava cake, wine, bath bombs, candles, crystals

Unusual Talents. Nadia can say any word backwards.

Habits. Taking selfies, posing even when there’s no camera, carrying 39 lipsticks in her enormous purse at any given time.

Occupation/Schooling Information

If your character is currently employed:

Occupation. Model/Makeup Artist

Place of Work. Self-Employed

Character Development

Plans for Development. 

CAREER MOVES: Right now, Nadia is in the “funemployed” sector of life. She is self employed through her YouTube channel, blog, and Instagram pictures, and she works as a model, but I’d like to see her make bigger steps with makeup, whether she becomes a salesgirl at a department store, starts creating her own product, or launches her own brand.

LOVE IS HERE TO STAY: I hate posting this as a plot development because I’m never someone who relies on shipping to keep me going in a group, but I think it would be nice for Nadia to find someone she really hits it off with and who will treat her right, since her last and only major relationship ended up in major flames.

SEXUALITY: Nadia is pansexual but I’d like her to lean towards women. The only relationship she’s ever been in was with a man, so I’d like her to explore her sexuality and reclaim her confidence in that regard.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL GIRL GANG: Nadia is a fierce, strong independent woman, and I’d like for her to surround herself with other fierce, strong, independent women who will lift each other up and support each other.

Other. 

SKYLAR BAUTISTA: Nadia’s abusive ex-boyfriend, who is currently in prison. They met and formed their relationship when they both were in art school. Skylar dabbled in painting but his forte was sculpture. As two incredibly talented artists, they were often put in competition with each other which started out as a sexy tension thing for them before Skylar showed his true colors. They lived together for two years before Nadia’s parents pulled her out of his abusive cycle, and now he’s in jail where he belongs. Boy bye.

Character Biography

ABUSE TW

Nadia Emiliana Martinez couldn’t tell you much about her birth parents, or about her life before the accident. The road was icy and visibility was poor, so when Emilio Alvarez spun off the road, he and his wife were without a seatbelt. Only Nadia, strapped into the backseat, was left with minimal scratches, but a scar that resides on her scalp from blunt-force trauma to the head. While it was unclear if she was going to make it, she did, and with no other family to claim her, she was put into the foster system. There were two times when she was almost adopted, but things ended up not working out. Nadia felt like she was a used car or a puppy that nobody wanted, and the older she got, the more clear it was to her that she would be without a family until she was eighteen years old, and would be truly alone in the world. 

All throughout her life, she’d been attracted to drawing, painting, and photography. Anything she could get her hands on immediately became something to create. Nadia had nothing and made a habit out of stealing supplies from the art room until one day she was caught by the art teacher who gave her an entire box set of colored pencils, paper, and paints. Nadia broke down into tears that day, and she treasured every single one of those supplies until she used them all up. The only solace she found was in painting, taking the beautiful images she saw in her brain and putting them on paper.

Nadia stayed in the foster system until she was an extremely opinionated fifteen-year-old girl, where she was taken in by David and Stefanie Martinez. Nadia didn’t know what to make of her new family, especially since she was waiting for the day that she was brought back to foster care. Nadia’s birthday came up almost two weeks after she was adopted, and she burst into tears yet again when she opened up a beautiful vintage camera in perfect working order. Then, Nadia knew she’d found her forever home and her forever family. This was the only reason why she didn’t want to leave Lemon Grove when it came time for Nadia to apply for college. She had just found her people, and going far away from them didn’t stack up in the cards, so Nadia went to the Miami Fine Arts Academy less than an hour away. 

It was in college that she met Skylar, someone who was going to become a huge part of her life in a very short way. Even though Nadia was far from an impressionable eighteen-year-old, Skylar played her hook, line, and sinker. Nadia didn’t realize the true chaos that lay within him until her confidence was shattered. He was also an artist, and they were frequently in competition with each other. At first, it was a healthy competition, something that got their engines revving, but Nadia quickly became to blame whenever she had her paintings win a contest. As they got older, it got worse. If Nadia and Skylar’s paintings were both in a gallery and Nadia’s sold first, she was expected to give him the money. Sex, which Nadia had first enjoyed, became a chore and something to dread, and Nadia quickly realized she didn’t like having it with him anymore. The man she thought she loved was gone, and everything between them had become toxic.

Nadia’s parents were worried as their vivacious girl retreated more and more into her shell. She was too scared to talk to anyone about her treatment. Things came to a breaking point when Skylar hit her. That was when the pattern started-- he’d hit her, apologize, take her to a fancy dinner and buy her beautiful clothes, and then he’d hit her again. He forced her to wear a full face of makeup all the time, to the point where Nadia would wake up two hours early to cover up the bruises all over her face and body. She got great at doing makeup.

Eventually, things came to a breaking point, and after a surprise visit from her parents, they immediately took her home. Skylar soon followed, and things got heated in an argument between David and Skylar. Eventually, the police were called, Skylar was arrested for domestic abuse, and sent to prison. Free from her cage, Nadia is slowly getting back into what she loves most: painting, art, and photography. She works as a model in Miami but also has a popular YouTube channel where she posts unboxing videos, makeup tutorials, BTS of her photoshoots, and frequently participates in the “4 Photographers Shoot The Same Model” series. She’s happy, she’s home, and she’s thriving, which is the most important thing she can be.

[krys-does-otome]

Bae in Review: Aiji Yanagi, Collar x Malice

Here he is, the ultimate bae of Collar x Malice, the true canon route.

I’m happy to say that I frickin’ loved this route. Like, a lot.

The calm, cool, and collected Yanagi.

He’s definitely my favorite of the game, no questions asked.

As always, first and last impressions, and then more depth below the cut, because spoilers. Major, major spoilers.

Let’s go, guys.

First Impression:

Last Impression:

For previous Baes in Review summary, here’s the full list . For Collar x Malice specifically, here’s Okazaki, Enomoto, Shiraishi, and Sasazuka.

Last warning before the cut. This will be spoiler territory for the rest of game. This is your final spoiler warning.

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As everyone else in the game like to revel in the humor of, I jokingly referred to Yanagi as a father type figure, as my twitter can attest to. He was a quieter figure, one of the older ones of the group (Shiraishi is actually the eldest but his behavior would suggest otherwise), he always had this parental nature about him, even if he wasn’t aware of it at times. He was usually the one to break up fights between Enomoto and Sasazuka, clean up after them and had many more domestic skills than pretty much all of the previous routes, combined. He was also kind to Ichika as well, lending an listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and hot cocoa should she need it, even in previous routes. I’m glad that none of this really changed once we were on his route. He was still that listening ear and comforting shoulder that he was throughout the rest of game, and much, much more. So, so much more.

We learn this route that he and Ichika had a past together, something that would shape Yanagi for the rest of his life.

Growing up, he was punk kid. He smoked cigarettes, he had piercings, he talked a big game and could back up those words with his fists. Probably rode a motorcycle and carried a metal bat around at one point. The very definition of a juvenile delinquent if there was one.

Yet, he couldn’t ignore a scared little girl that had been kidnapped.

That scared little girl?

Ichika Hoshino.

And one moment of brief eye contact was enough to spur teen rebel Yanagi to chase after Ichika and her captor. Because rebel delinquent teen Yanagi he may have been, he wasn’t letting the kidnapping of little girls slide past his radar.

Except this is where things start to go south.

Yanagi loses his hot teenage temper and beats the guy within an inch of his life. Literally. He does not hold back, like at all. Even for a little girl that he didn’t even know at the time.

Yet, that wasn’t the most scarring part of the ordeal. Nope.

As one can expect, young Ichika is scared shitless by pretty much everything happening. She had been kidnapped, her kidnapper was hurting her and the boy that was saving her, and now the boy is on a murderous rampage.

I’m pretty sure anyone would be scared shitless in that kind of situation, no matter what.

When Yanagi had come back to his senses, he tried to comfort the terrified and likely traumatized for life Ichika, but, as one can expect, she’s horrified, which brings Yanagi back to the reality of the situation. He had beat a man nearly to death and likely caused a little girl a life time trauma.

He didn’t take it well.

He only felt worse when he was barely punished for his heinous act, being let off because he was a minor and having it ruled as self defense.

This really didn’t settle well with him.

He decided to turn his delinquent life around, joining a sort of rehab program for juvies that gave him police training and ultimately becoming a police officer as a result.

Despite this, the incident had inspired him to do better with his life, to protect all life no matter what; however, he grew incredibly distant from his past relationships, like his family and old friends. Even in current relationships, he still kept everyone at arm’s length, offering his support and good graces to those who need it, but he could never get close for fear of hurting someone again.

While I am not the biggest fan of the ‘I love you but I must push you away from me to protect you because you’re that precious to me,’ bullshit, I didn’t mind it as much here with Yanagi. We got over that quickly and I’m glad for that. Ichika actually helped Yanagi regain his confidence and willingness to open up to others, which was a huge step in the right direction for Yanagi and it wasn’t the focus of the entire route.

While Yanagi did have his fumbles with Ichika, he came stronger each and every time, which is something that I loved about him. It’s such a stark change from the start of the route where he could barely grasp the thought of why Ichika wanting to partner with him of all people, to the very end where we are against a wall and kissing him.

Trust me, pretty much all of the end of his route was a pleasant surprise that I’m still reeling from the adorableness of it all.

Overall, Yanagi has become probably one of my favorite baes in terms of otome baes. He starts off as calm, standoffish, maybe a little cold, sad, maybe lonely, but once all of his barriers have come down? He’s willing to punch Enomoto in the face for interrupting a tender moment between him and his fiance.

Pros and Cons

PRO: He will protect you from guys that are creepy and could potentially do bad things to you. CON: This can also extend to regular guys that might just be teasing you. Especially if he can perceive this guy as competition.

PRO: He’s domestic as hell. Good at cooking, cleaning, and handling children. CON: The kids he normally deals with are all in their mid to late 20s. Also, he prefers to cook for you than you for him. This might be frustrating to those that like cooking and cleaning. Plus, he’s probably better than you at it.

PRO: He’s loyal as hell to his loved ones and friends, especially once his walls start coming down. CON: He’s ready and willing to punch his friends when they do something incredibly stupid. Has done so twice this route and threatened it a third time once they come back from prison.

PRO: He has some good calming hobbies, like fishing and doing puzzles. CON: He will get pissed at you for finishing the puzzle for him, especially if you do it behind his back. He was looking forward to finishing that puzzle, damn it!

PRO: He’s willing to change himself if his partner finds a fixable flaw within him, like cutting down on his smoking. CON: He’ll still smoke those cigarettes and drink like a sailor, especially if he’s stressed out. Sorry, babe.

PRO: He learns from his mistakes and does whatever he can to correct his past wrongs, including visiting the guy he beat nearly to death. CON: He nearly beat a man to death and caused trauma to an eight year old.

Bae Rating: 10/10

Would date again, 100% no doubt about it. A hundred times over even. He’s my favorite of the game, hands down. I love his character progression, I love his opening up to Ichika, I love him gaining his confidence back, I love the fact that he stayed a loving figure throughout the route, only really giving a small push away because of his own traumas, but learns that it’s okay to lean on others once in a while, I love the old man jokes at his expense, I love how he gains back that spunky punk persona for a brief moment enough to punch Enomoto in the face for ruining his proposal moment..

I just love Aiji Yanagi.

Baes in Review is done for Collar x Malice, but I plan to do more as I progress in my other games. For now, I plan on doing the bad endings and do a review on those, as well as a complete Otome in Review of Collar x Malice in it’s entirety, giving my overall impressions, favorite moments, not so favorite moments, and some honorable mentions.

If anyone has any special requests for baes for me to review, here’s the most up-to-date list of games and routes I’ve completed thus far: Butts Touched Master List

Have a good day, lovelies, and remember to touch all the butts.