#they'd still be the same characters in essence but i feel like they lack some the oomf other characters got

[efloarchive]

still trying to decide if i'd add canon characters or not to my multi (yes it is happening)

[neonscandal]

What kind of fanfic would you like there to be more of? Not as in, fic ideas, but general types/genres, like multi-chapter AUs with original worldbuilding, fix-its, canon compliant character studies, etc? I know this is probably fandom specific, so I guess for any fandom you feel like considering.

Ooooh I wonder what this informs? Like... will I be getting a recommendation in a few months to read something because I'd love that! I'm always curious what motivation prompts the asks haha

Domestic Bliss - TBH, I like the post resolution stories that are still ridged with the fall out of whatever they'd undergone in story but here they are, anyway. (All fandoms)

Canon Compliant Character Studies - I like writing these a lot. Finding a space in canon to provide just a little bit more insight on your favorite character? 😘👌🏾 But also, I enjoy reading them because I think they're a good indication of how the author interprets the character which is always an eye opener. (All Fandoms but specifically ones with little to no fluff/filler because you're not getting the deep dive you want to connect the dots)

Angst - This, I think, is a spectrum. Not going to go as far as whump but just the acknowledgement of the reality a character is going through. For example: MHA, Midoriya and Class 1A largely need therapy. But the story persists in spite of this and without slowing for any sort of residual complications from the lack thereof. JJK, if someone doesn't get Yuji Itadori a damn hug, I don't know what he'll do. VINLAND SAGA, imagine what people miss as Thorfinn undergoes the events from his childhood into becoming a man. TBH I feel like a character study there would be good too but we don't get too much of the emotional side of the story until it breaks the dam in season 2, you know? Sorry, my forever sad bitch status is showing.

Comedy - Frivolously, I think it's brilliant when someone can write a story that's true to the characters but in new or unexpected environments that are hilariously applied because that's such a thorough understanding of the essence of that/those character(s). OOC'ness is debatable here but Sassy Deku? Give it.

AU's - always yes because who wouldn't want to see your favorite characters in other environments?

Generally, for shorter stories, I want the conditions to be the same. Like, quirked up coffee shop AU where maybe hero society isn't as big a pressing variable just to explore another facet of a world that already exists and the impact powers have therein. I say this knowing damn well I will always read a no-power fanfic if my favorite characters/dynamic are involved. Original worldbuilding AU's, I like the idea, but go through periods of life where I simply don't have time/mental capacity to keep up with them or even read multi-chapter fics. Let alone to later find out it wasn't worth it! But there's some genuine artistry in people who can consistently and sincerely create something vivid and immersive. So, when I'm not feeling like an amoebous blob of a person, they're the kind of stories I want to throw myself into. Afterall, I'm just chasing the high/escapism I felt when I used to get lost in the YA novels of my youth.

In essence though, I'll read most things if I'm in the mood for it. Not like I'll ever conquer my TBR or TBW, for that matter.

[internetanomaly]

September 8th, Day 4/365

Counting down to September 5th 2024.

Two days back – on this blog, I talked about how I've been defining myself by my interests and the media I consume, but weirdly, I haven't actually shared what I'm into. That was pretty much why I started writing the Day 2 entry, but I got clearly sidetracked by other thoughts.

I want to say that I've taken up this digital niche because I lack someone in the real world to talk to about what I enjoy, but that's not true really. There are people, friends in my life who'd gladly listen to me babble about my newfound favorite song. But even though I've been reassured about this before, there's always this nagging fear that they're just listening to me out of pity. I believe enjoyment is personal, and even if someone likes the same stuff as me, even when our interests align, the way they experience it will always be different from mine.

A great example of a personal experience of mine would be the videogame 'Disco Elysium.' I introduced it to a friend, knowing they'd connect with the main character, and so they did. Yet, every time we talk about the game, it's clear that we took pleasure in completely different aspects. The way we decide to elaborate on the messaging and development of the story is vastly different, and it couldn't be any other way.

This will sound like some spiritual, new-age mumbo jumbo, but what i'm really trying to say is that the vibes and sensations we created and experienced during the game are fundamentally different and they never had a chance to be the same. The same movie viewed through someone else's eyes becomes an entirely different experience. By existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted. In this context empathy is limited, it is fundamentally impossible to find someone who truly enjoys something for the same reasons you do. Isn't that sad?

I think this is why I'm so reticent about the things I enjoy with those close to me. Words often fall short in conveying emotion, and the moment you try to explain or show something, the essence inevitably gets diluted.

A few days ago I've started watching 'Dekalog' (1989) by Kiéslowski. It's got quite the reputation for its depth and profound thematic exploration, but if I may voice my skepticism, I'm not entirely sold on the hype. I already spilled my guts in a few Letterboxd reviews, so I won't go into detail here. Overall, I just feel that the stories are surprisingly surface level for how universally acclaimed this is. Maybe that's the very reason it brings enjoyment to so many – there's not much deep thinking required but it's great at hinting at a deepness and nuance that is just not there. This way people can still feel the rush of philosophy without having to put any effort in; Kiéslowski serves his messages up clear and loud, leaving the viewer with the single responsibility of getting exposed to it. I truly do feel like I'm being too harsh with this series of films but my expectations were too high to justify what I saw.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum, Matsumoto's 'Funeral Parade of Roses' (1969) completely blew me off. I went into it blind and I was so completely took by surprise right at the beginning – when *spoiler* Eddie's shower scene showed that she didn't have breasts I audibly gasped out loud; I literally had an involuntary physical reaction to an image on my laptop screen, I cannot stress enough how impressive that is. From that moment I was completely hooked, I knew this film was going to be a journey of self-exploration for me and it unequivocally delivered. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I would dare to say that it's a masterpiece. Apart from all the technical praise I could give it, what truly stuck with me is that it just made me feel seen. I guess that's simple enough, but it really means a lot to me. Maybe that's why people enjoyed 'Dekalog' too, there's a lot of family themes that I'm sure resonate with people. Once again: by existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted, my empathy is also limited so who am I to judge? What's probably happening is that I just don't get it, I'm certain there has to be beauty in the simplicity of it, I'm just not the person it speaks to.