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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years

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Californian Dream (Pt. 01 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

Next part (02)->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

Lemonade

Ignoring the meaningless chattering, you drink what's left of your water, then put the glass against your neck, hoping the cold will help with the hot weather. Summers in California are always this hot, and since you're under the sun, it doesn't help. Some of your friends, or better saying, the family friends, the people you grew up with, are here again, using your pool as if it was some kind of club they can attend. Standing on this badly shaped circle, you pretend to listen as Ryan goes on about some mansion he helped his father sell this weekend. He's excited, gesticulating a lot, and the others seem to be quite interested too. But not you. Honestly, you couldn't care less.

Through the corner of your eye, you see someone moving on the other side of the huge pool, behind some trees. Turning your head to see it better, you easily recognize the new pool guy, Billy Hargrove. He's been working here for only a couple of months, coming a few times a week to clean the pool or to fix something. You always pay attention to the staff, because nobody else does. You like to know them since they're working at your house after all, and that made you befriend a lot of them throughout the years. But Billy? You haven't even crossed paths with him yet. On purpose.

Billy is by far the most handsome guy you ever met, and you just don't think you can say anything to his face. He probably thinks you're one of the silly, rich chicks he meets on his job, and for some reason, it bothers you.

“(Y/N).” Ryan snaps his fingers on your face, dragging you out of your thoughts. “Are you in there? Aren't you listening?”

“Yup. Sorry, I tuned out for a minute.” Politely, you apologize. “What were you saying?”

“The gala. Who are you going with?”

“Uhm... Not sure yet.” Playing with the empty glass, you move your weight from one leg to the other. “I don't have any good options.”

“What?” Gisele exclaims, giggling. “Robert wants to go with you. Daniel would easily ditch his date for you. And Michael–”

“Don't wanna go with neither of them.” Cutting her off, you decide to just say it. Robert is the most hateful person you ever met. Daniel has been chasing after you for years, it doesn't matter how hard you try to make him understand you don't like him, and every girl he dates, he does it to try and make you jealous. And Michael is a manipulative jerk. All three members of the most prestigious families of California, and desired bachelors. And yet, you can't stand them.

“Who are you going with then? The pool guy?” Gisele gestures at something across the pool, and you know at who.

“Maybe. I bet he's way better than Michael, Daniel, or Robert.” This makes all the five of them laugh, in a very mocking tone. But you mean it. “I might go by myself. Who cares?”

“Are you crazy? Your parents will care, and people will talk, you know that.” Ryan rolls his eyes, lightly slapping his friend's arm. “C'mon, Antony, let's find (Y/N) a fourth option.” The two guys smirk and walk away, and you don't even bother to ask what they're up to. You don't care.

“For real now, (Y/N),” Alice says, running her fingers through her hair. “Gisele is right. The three guys are so into you, and Robert...” She chuckles, exchanging a glance with Gisele. “He's hot. He's... So damn hot.”

“Why don't you go with him then?” You ask her, taking a deep breath and already thinking of an excuse to get away from this conversation and back into the secrecy of your bedroom.

“Because I'm dating.” She answers as if it was the most obvious thing. As if she didn't have a different boyfriend every month. “James Whayland. The one and only, heir to the Whayland fortune? Do you happen to know him?” A rhetoric question, of course. Everyone knows who the Whayland are. “I'm so gonna marry him.”

“You must,” Gisele adds. “You'd be like, stupidly rich.”

And they go on with that, a conversation you don't even try to follow. A lot of girls do that, getting married to join the fortunes and shove more money into their pockets. Your mother herself did it, and she tries to push you into doing the same, pointing out the richest bachelors of California. But you'd never do that. You rather never get married than getting married without love. It's so obvious, yet, if you bring that up, it always becomes an argument. ‘Love comes with time’, she says. ‘Once you're provided financial stability, you'll learn to love the provider.’ None of that sounds appealing to you. You're hoping to fall in love one day. It hasn't happened yet, but you'll patiently wait.

“Hey, Earth to (Y/N).” Ryan raises his voice, and, a little annoyed, you look up at him.

“What?”

“You're welcome.” He says with a wicked smile.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you tilt your head to the side. “For what, Ryan?”

“For getting you the best date ever for the gala, sweetie.” He and Antony laugh, and soon enough the others follow. “The pool guy is taking you to a high society party. How amazing is that?”

It takes a while for you to even process what he's saying, but his mean tone makes you angry. He thinks he's superior to anyone who doesn't have a collection of fancy cars in their garage. “First of all, Ryan, the pool guy has a name, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. You're always close to the staff.” He emphasizes the last word, making a disgusted face.

“Second...” What? Second what? You know you can't go with Billy. That would get people talking. But then, the other options make you sick to even consider them. And honestly, you couldn't care less about what people say. It'll probably get you a hell of a lecture from your parents, a few weeks of gossips and mean comments, but that's it. Soon enough someone else will become the hottest topic. “You know what, forget it.” Putting the empty glass on the table, you walk away, ignoring how they call you, telling you not to be silly.

Maybe the guys are joking. Maybe they're just pulling a prank on you, but there's no problem with finding that out. Walking around the pool and into the garden, you walk around the supply closet, following the low noise of something being put into the metal shelves. The supply closet is open, so you patiently wait on the outside, barefoot on the grass as you move to stand to bellow a tree. Bouncing your leg, you look around, breathing deeply and trying to understand why the hell you decided to face Billy now. He's the only guy who works here you're making sure not to have any contact with.

“Good afternoon.” The voice startles you, and you immediately turn to face him. Billy is closing the closet door shut, eyes focused on you. And yes, he's far more gorgeous from up close. “May I help you, Miss–”

“(Y/N).” You cut him off, cursing yourself for doing so. “You may call me (Y/N).”

He simply nods, walking closer and stopping on a shadow spot too. “Do you need anything from me?”

“Uhm...” For a moment, you gotta think a little to remember what brought you here. “I just wanted to ask if maybe some two jerks came to talk to you... About a party... And... Taking a girl to this party...” Playing with your fingers, you wonder if he already thinks you're a total idiot.

“Yes. They said you needed a date for some gala.” Billy crosses his arms, not looking away from you. “If you need it, I can take you.”

Oh. Would he really do that? “Uhm... Look, Ryan and Antony meant it as a joke.” You gotta be honest, even if it means he'll give up the idea. “I mean, not for me, they're just... They're jerks. And they...” Holy crap. You have to get your shit together. “They thought it would be funny to make you think you could take me to this gala.” Taking a deep breath, you push the words out. “But... I would like it if you could because all my options suck. It's either Michael or Robert or Daniel, and you probably know they're all fighting for the award of the worst person on the face of Earth.”

“It might be really hard to make this decision. Might as well split the award in three.” He speaks up and you giggle. The staff don't usually speak like that about the families they work for. But Billy doesn't seem to care and you like that.

“Yeah. So... I know people will gossip about it but I'd be forever grateful if you could do me this kindness.” You're blushing now, biting your lip. “Because I know it's not your job or anything but I could pay you if you want.”

“There's no need.” Billy shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders. “It's a party, right? It will be fun.”

“Oh... About that...” Calling such events ‘parties’ is a misunderstanding. Almost a crime. “These things... Suck. It's super dull, full of rich people donating, trying to donate more them someone else just so they'll show off how rich they really are... You'll absolutely hate it. I do.” Gesturing at yourself, you give him an apologetic look. “I'd owe you for life if you help me get through it without having to put up with any of those assholes.”

Billy nods, looking down before his eyes meet yours again. “I believe I'll have to wear one of those suits right?”

“Well, I'll be in some uncomfortable dress, so we'll both be unhappy about our clothes.” Your mind goes to the lilac dress your mother made you buy, extremely expensive.

“Alright then. It's on Sunday, right?” You nod. “Should I pick you up?”

“Yes. At seven.” He gives a small nod before gesturing at the garden. “I gotta go now.”

“Sure...” Billy waves before walking away, and you stand there, wondering if you should go back to your so-called friends. You're sure Ryan will have that stupid smile on, eager to know what you and Billy have spoken about. And you won't tell anything, but you also don't want to deal with that shit right now, or else you might tell right to their faces how much of a jerk they are. So you decide to follow Billy through the garden, easily finding him by a particular big tree. He's opening a leaf tarp on a clean space on the grass before taking a fan rake. “This tree is dying.” You say, getting his attention. Billy turns around, furrowing his eyebrows. “That's why there are so many fallen leaves. See how some of them seem healthy, normal green leaves? It only happens when the tree is dying.”

“Then you should have someone cut it down before someone gets hurt.” He says, looking a little confused. “Shouldn't you go back to your friends?”

“Yeah, I probably should.” You're tired of all the things you should do, so for today, you won't do them. As silly as it may be. “Do you need some help?” You ask, stepping forward a little.

“No, I'm alright.” It sounds like a question, and you blush from the way he stares at you, for several seconds, before focusing on his task, raking the leaves to the tarp.

“Ok.” Whispering, you move to sit on a wooden table, one of the many you have scattered around the property. You try not to look at Billy too much, noticing how weird it feels to do this. You barely know the guy, he'll be your date for a gala, and now you're awkwardly seated here, watching as he works. Well, it is better than whatever your friends must be talking about now. “So... What exactly do you work with?” You ask, hoping to get any kind of conversation going. “I thought you just took care of the pool.”

“I work for a company. BJ's Associates.” Billy starts, and you take this chance to look at him. Despite the distance, you can see the sweat glistening on his forehead. “They send me to any place I'm needed. Some of them are scheduled weekly, others are random. And–” He makes a pause suddenly, giving you a look. “Are you bored yet?”

“No.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle. “I actually wanna know.”

He turns his head to look at the pool, which is a little distant now. Maybe he thinks this is some kind of move, and you wouldn't blame him, judging by the way the guys probably came to talk to him. “That's it. I clean pools, fix cars, might paint walls or something, clean gardens... The list goes on.”

“You know how to fix a car?” Raising an eyebrow, you move to seat on the table, placing both your feet on the wooden bench. “My car is making this weird noise and I'm sure it's not some normal noise.”

“How does it sounds like?”

“Like a clunking, I think... every time I hit the breaks, even when it's softly.”

“It could be some damage to the brake caliper.” He's quick to answer, and you raise your eyebrows, impressed. “Or it's badly mounted.”

“Damn, you're good.” You exclaim, giggling at his funny face.

“I just–”

“(Y/N)!” Amelia's voice reaches you, and Billy stops talking, resuming his job. “I've been looking for you.” The old lady, with her gray hair tied up on a perfect, sophisticated bun, comes to the table you're at, a tray with a jar and six glasses on her hands.

“I've been here chatting with Billy.” You tell as she lays the tray down. “And no, I won't go back to the pool.”

“They're talking about James Whayland.” She starts, rolling her eyes. Amelia is the only one in this house, well, the only one you know who understands you. “Alice Martin was talking about marrying him...?”

“Yup.” A stronger wind messes with your hair, so you use a hand to keep it away from your face. “Something about joining their fortunes and being the king and queen of California. Some shit like that.”

“Poor Alice.” Amelia breathes out, taking a glass and pouring some lemonade on it before handing it over to you. “That Whayland kid is not the nicest guy on Earth.”

“Poor James!” You giggle, putting your glass down and serving her some lemonade too. She doesn't like when you do that, since she's here to serve you. Amelia, the woman who raised you is here for nothing else than to serve you. So unbelievable it almost makes you laugh. “Alice isn't nice either. She can be very manipulative to get what she wants.”

“Don't I know?” She mutters. “Well, I must go. Serve this to your friends.”

“No, no, no. Take your glass and leave the rest. If someone complains tell them I'll drink the whole jar.” Taking the tray from her hands, you place it down on the table again.

“Alright, Miss–”

“(Y/N). Honey. Bunny. Anything, but not this formal stuff, ok?” You correct her, and Amelia gives you a bright smile.

“Alright, (Y/N).” She repeats before turning around and walking away, cordially greeting Billy.

Taking a sip from your glass, you smile to notice Amelia's lemonade is as good as always. A little too sour for your parents taste, but you like it better this way. Your attention goes back to Billy, still dealing with the fallen leaves, despite being almost done. If you ask, he might say no, so you just pour another glass before jumping to the ground, making your way over him. “Here.” Raising your voice, you get his attention. And once again he has this confused expression on his face when he sees the glass. “Lemonade. It's hella hot out here and this might help.”

“Thanks.” Squinting his eyes a little, he takes the glass from your hand, taking long sips, drinking almost everything.

“Sorry if it's a little too sour. I don't like much sugar on it and Amelia knows so...” When he's done, he gives you back the glass. “Why are you looking at me like that? I swear I'm not a ghost.”

“That's not it. I'm just not used to being treated like that by the owners.” Billy's voice gets a little darker, and he pronounces the last word with certain anger. But you can imagine exactly why. Most of the people you know aren't very fond of their employees. They're just the people they pay off to do what they can't do by themselves.

“I know how some of the families can be mean.” Drumming your fingers on the empty glass, you stand there, staring at Billy, just now noticing the deep, beautiful shade of blue from his eyes. Involuntary, you breathe out, smiling.

“What?”

“Nothing!” You burst out, clearing your throat and finding your legs again, making the way back at the table. “I–”

“(Y/N)!” A shout startles you, and when you turn at the source of the voice, you see it's Gisele. “Get back here! You won't guess who just got here.”

“If it isn't Michael Jackson ready to perform Beat It, I'll be disappointed.” You mutter, only loud enough for Billy to hear it as you walk back to the pool.

“Call me if it's him,” Billy says and you giggle, giving him one last look.

It's not Michael. Well, it is, but not Jackson, just Michael Rothford. He stands by the pool, where everyone gathers around him. Trying not to look pissed, you move closer, offering a polite, fake smile. “Good afternoon, Mike. How have you been?”

“I'm way better now.” He answers, and you try to ignore how everyone moves a little, giving you more space to move closer to Michael. He takes your hand, giving it a shake, and awkwardly squeezing it softly. “I'm here to ask, once again, for you to let me take you to Sunday's gala.”

The two idiots, Antony and Ryan start giggling, and you know exactly why. “Sorry, Mike, I can't.” Pulling your hand away, you cross your arms. “I already have someone, so...” Thank God you have the perfect excuse, and it's not even a lie. You're so damn relieved you won't be forced to attend to such a boring event with someone like Michael.

“Who?” He snaps, suddenly pissed. “Daniel is going with that Angela chick. Robert, you can't stand. Andrew isn't in the country, Willian–”

“You don't know him, alright?” Cutting him off, you sigh.

“Oh, shit,” Ryan mutters, and you give him a look. He has a hand covering his mouth, trying to control a laugh. “You're really going to the gala with the pool guy.” Antony burst into laughter, and the others try to control themselves not to.

“You rather go with the staff than with me?” Michael sounds offended as if he was punched in the face. “Are you kidding me, (Y/N)?”

Quickly, you try to think of something to say. You can't say the truth, that he's a hateful human being you can't stand being next to. But nothing comes to your mind. “No, I'm not. I... Actually wanna go with Billy.”

“Honestly, (Y/N), screw you.” He barks, and before you can answer, he grabs both your shoulders and pushes you straight into the water.

Everything happens way too fast for you to process, so there was no way you could tell him you absolutely can't swim. So the moment you hit the water, you just sink, your body moving to the bottom, way too far from the surface. You do try moving your legs a bit, uselessly. But you're suddenly pulled, strong arms moving you through the water until you finally reach the surface, gasping for air. Breathing fast, the terror finally starts kicking in, and you push yourself up, stumbling a little, ignoring all the hands that offer help. Once you're out of the water, seated on the edge, you finally see who saved you, Billy, also pushing himself up, only with a lot more grace than you. You exchange a glance, and his hand is the one you take, pulling yourself back to your feet.

“You can't swim?” You hear Michael's voice, a curse caught in your throat. “I never met a Californian who can't swim.”

Not minding the small crowd around, you make you walk to Michael, losing no time before slapping him right on the face, the loud noise of your wet hand colliding to his cheek startling some of your friends. “Asshole!” You yell before storming away, embarrassed, still struggling to catch your breath, feeling cold thanks to your soaked clothes.

“Hey.” Someone calls, but you ignore them, walking fast into the house. “(Y/N).” Your arm being grabbed makes you stop walking and turn around, ready to make hell rain on whoever it is, but your fury melts away when you see Billy. “Are you ok?”

Taking a deep breath, you relax a little, nodding. “Yeah, I just... Got scared.” He lets go of your arm, but you don't step away, looking into his blue, calming eyes. “Thank you, though. You saved my life.”

“Can't believe he threw you at the water like that.”

“See why I need you to take me to that stupid party?” Crossing your arms, you pace around. “I can't even begin to imagine how it'd be to spend the night with that prick.” Looking down, you notice how you and Billy are dripping, soaking the white floor. “I gotta go change, and you should... I don't know. At least you got to enjoy the pool for a while.”

“I'd rather enjoy it when you're not drowning.”

“Yeah, that would be better.” Shyly smiling, you give a step backwards. “I gotta go... But thanks again.” Stopping in your tracks, you decide to be just a little brave. Stepping closer, you tiptoe to place a quick kiss on Billy's cheek, before turning around and rushing upstairs to your bedroom.

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @alwaysadreamingoptimist

#imagine billy hargrove #imagine billy #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove #stranger things imagine #imagine stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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pulpwriterx · 5 years

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ALWAYS BEN SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

What if Ben Solo had just escaped the Jedi Temple and Yavin-4 the night that his Uncle tried to kill him? What if nothing had burned, and no one had died that night? What if he had trusted his father enough to help him get away, and his mother enough to tell her about Snoke? What if he could hear Anakin's voice, then? This is that story.

CHAPTER 1: RUN, BEN, RUN!

Ben Solo awoke, and saw his Master, his Uncle, standing over him with a lightsaber.

He summoned his, and defended himself.

Ben knew he couldn’t beat his Uncle Luke with the Force, but he also knew he had greater physical strength.

When they were at crossed sabers, Ben punched Luke Skywalker in the face as hard as he could.

Uncle Luke flew back against the wall and slumped down, unconscious.

“Oh, shit!”

Ben was in a panic.

He felt alone.

His Master, his Uncle wanted him dead.

The Dark Side courted and tortured him in the person of Master Snoke.

His mother, who had left him to either his father’s world or his Uncle’s since he was 13 would never believe him.

Was this it?

Did he have no choice but to go to Master Snoke?

But whereas Ben considered the Jedi to be an ivory tower of unrealistic hypocrites, the Sith were a gang of power hungry killers who had used his beloved Grandfather's weakness to turn him into their pawn.

Ben didn’t want to be a Jedi monk and his mother and Uncle's shining saint, nor did he want to be a pitiless warlord doing the Sith's murderous dirty work.

He realized that what he really wanted was to tear it all down.

The Light, the Dark, the Jedi, the Sith.

But how?

If he was ever to figure that out, if he was ever to be free?

He had to run.

But where?

Dad.

The Old Man wasn’t the Father of the Year, but the times that Ben had fled Uncle Luke and the Jedi Temple over the past ten years, and spent time with the Old Man were his happiest times.

The last time he had escaped, he was gone for almost two years, and the Old Man hadn’t wanted to take Ben to the Jedi Temple any more than Ben had wanted to go.

He would get to the spaceport, and radio to his father for help.

He had to believe his Dad would save him.

Ben checked to see if his Uncle was alive, and finding that he was?

He quickly gathered up everything he could shove into a duffel bag, put his boots on threw it over his shoulder and ran.

Literally.

Ben ran from the Jedi Temple, borrowed a speeder, and ran down the road, and he was still running when he got to the little town around the spaceport that was once the Rebel Base on Yavin 4.

He burst into the cantina, and was immediately surrounded by pilots, scavengers, smugglers and pirates who knew him and his father.

Ben felt immense relief.

He went up to the bar.

“Holy Mother Force, Ben, your face is bleeding! look like someone just walked over your grave! What did those crazy fanatics do to you?”

Ben touched his face.

He was bleeding pretty hard.

“I need a fucking drink. I need to get the fuck out if here. Fast. I need to call my father. I need to use your radio. Please, help me. They want me dead. They tried to kill me. I had to run for my life.” Ben explained.

The bartender drew him a pitcher of Arkanian ale, and poured him a shot of Huttese Whiskey.

“Sure, kid, sure. You can hide in the radio room. Eat something. Trixie? They hurt Ben! Come out here and bring the first aid kit!”

Trixie, the Askajian barmaid, rushed out and bandaged Ben’s head and face up.

As soon as he had drank his drinks and eaten his sandwiches, Ben went into the back and radioed the Falcon, two or three times.

“Ben, do you know what time…”

“DAD! Yeah, you bet I know what fucking time it is! It’s time for you to fucking listen to me! This Jedi shit is murder! Literally! Dad you gotta help me! Uncle Luke tried to murder me he was standing over me while I was asleep with a lightsaber! He grazed my face, and I'm hurt! Just get me out of here and as far away from this Jedi shit that there is oh, Dad, I’m so fuckin’ scared! Please Dad please.”

“Luke did what?"

Ben began to cry.

“You don’t believe me, do you, Dad? Holy Mother Force! For once in your life, don’t be a fuckin’ asshole and let me down! Just get me out of this! I’m hurt, and I’m scared and I need you to be my goddamn father, for kark’s sake!” Ben wailed.

Then he just began sobbing.

Now Han was getting scared, too.

“Alright, Ben. Okay. Calm down. You sound terrified, kid. I believe you. I have to. I’ll come get you. Right now. Stay in the radio room and wait for me. If your Uncle comes back for you, don’t go with him. Tell him I’m coming to take you home.”

“Where’s home, Dad? Where? I don’t have one. I’m not safe! I’m not safe!"

Ben was on the verge of hysteria.

Han was strangely calm.

“You got a home, Ben. The Falcon is your home. I’m flying it, to get you, right now. And you’re safe with me and your Uncle Chewie. I promise.”

***

The two hours Ben waited in the radio room crouched fearfully behind the desk were the longest of his life.

He had never been so happy to see his father since he was a little boy.

Han ran into the room, with Chewbacca right behind him.

“Chewie, look. There’s blood on the floor. Luke must have hurt him! Ben? Where the hell are you?”

“Behind the desk.”

Han couldn’t believe that Ben could have wedged his big body into such a small space.

He moved the desk, and Ben was crouched there, with a bloody makeshift bandage around his head and part of his face, holding the blaster Lando had given him in his trembling hands.

Han's face distorted with anger and disbelief.

“What the fuck? Your head's bleeding! Do you still have an eye under there, Ben?"

Han pulled Ben out of the hole and Ben clung to his father like he was five, again.

He was trembling all over, in terror.

“I’m so scared, Dad. You gotta help me. Don’t make me go back! Don’t let them have me!”

“I won’t, Ben. I promise.”

Ben took a few steps and reeled.

“My head feels funny. I only drank one pitcher of beer. And I had two shots.”

“Not good when you got a head wound, kid. Chewie, get Ben. I’ll get his bag. We'll go out the back.”

They got Ben to the Falcon in a hurry and Han jumped blindly to hyperspace, not even caring where he ended up, as long as it was far away from Yavin 4.

***

In his hysteria, Ben told his father everything.

Chewie flew the Falcon while Han tried to do something about the bleeding slash from Ben’s scalp, past his eye, to the bridge of his nose.

He was putting clips on it.

“Don’t worry, Ben. It’ll be an interesting scar, not a disfiguring one. So, this Snoke guy is invading your mind, and torturing you. Have you ever seen him in person?”

“Not since I was a kid. I didn’t know he was a Sith, then.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“They wouldn’t believe me, Dad! In their happy fuckin’ world, everything is perfect, the good guys won and the Sith are gone. You see what happens when that’s not true?”

Ben was completely hysterical, hovering between fear and rage.

“Yeah. Instead of helping you, Luke goes crazy and tries to kill you, not this Snoke guy. Well, where is this Sith bastard?”

“Why, Dad?”

“Because we have to kill him.”

“It’s not that easy. He’d sense you coming a mile away. He wants me. If I was strong enough, and I could convince him I was interested in joining the Sith? I could kill him. But I’m not strong enough. And I’m not interested.”

“Then you can get strong in the Force, on your own, and you can go kill him. I mean, who says you need a teacher? How hard can it be for a Skywalker? You could do Force shit when you were five. Do it your way, Ben. Is that guy in your head, now?”

“Not really. When I’m not in the midst of all that Jedi stuff, I can block him out of my mind.”

“Then block him out of your mind. Because you’re not going to be around that shit, anymore. You feel better, kid?”

“Some.”

“Ben, you got me. You got Chewie. You got Lando. And you got your brains, your Force ability, your lightsaber, and your blaster. It’s like you told me, once. Dark Side? Light Side? Fuck it. My side. You stick with that, and forget this Jedi versus Sith shit? You'll be OK. Now go to your cabin, and clean up, and lie down. Get some sleep. We’ll take you to Bespin, to see one of Lando’s doctors. Get your wound taken care of.”

“You sure, Dad? You won’t make me go back?”

“With a Sith Lord trying to mind fuck you into being Vader Jr. and Luke trying to murder you? Fuck no. If anybody wants you, even if it’s your mother or your Uncle? They'll have to go through me to get you. I might not have been the Father of the Year, but this is Dad 101. Don’t let anybody hurt your kid. Go to bed. It’s OK, Ben.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Ben shuffled off to his cabin.

“What the fuck is going on, Chewie? Has everyone lost their minds? I told Leia, you are putting way too much shit on that kid's shoulders. Let him do what he wants. He’s a man, now. He’s seen my world, and yours. Let him find his own way. But she never wanted to hear that. Well, Leia’s going to have to listen. Meanwhile? I can’t even tell her or Luke where Ben is. Not till we figure out what to do.”

Chewie shook his head, sadly, and set a course for Bespin.

***

Luke Skywalker came to in his nephew's disarrayed room.

Outside, everything was normal.

But Ben was gone.

Luke gave his students a day off, saying he had urgent Republic business, and he took a speeder and went to find Ben.

He had left a trail of blood to the speeders.

Luke realized he must have clipped Ben with the lightsaber.

Luke went to the spaceport cantina, but they stonewalled him.

Ben had probably radioed Han, and was off-world by now.

Luke returned, and got Han on the Falcon’s radio.

“Kid, you got a lot of balls calling me! You disfigured my son's face while you were trying to cut his head off!”

“By the Force, did I? Did Ben lose an eye?”

“He could have. It’ll be an interesting scar, not a disfiguring one.”

“Just tell me if he’s safe, Han. I don’t know what I was thinking. I sensed a threat, a dark presence, and now I see that it wasn’t coming from Ben; it was around him. Tempting him. But he didn’t do anything but run.”

Han let out a long sigh.

“Yeah. Ben is safe. And he’s going to stay safe, because he’s done with all that Jedi shit. He doesn’t want to come back to you, and I won’t make him. Hell, I won’t let him!”

“His blood was all over the road. I’m worried about him. Did you get him to a doctor?”

There was anguish in Luke's voice.

“Yeah. I did. The doctor says it’s not bad. And he can make the scar minimal. Luke, why? Don’t give me this Force shit, either? Why?”

“I got scared. I lost my temper. Who did this to us, Han? Me and Ben? Did he tell you?”

“A Sith Lord. Snoke. He haunts Ben’s mind. He wants him to become another Vader.”

“That’s why Ben doesn’t want to finish his Jedi training? Because he doesn’t want to be used as a pawn by the Sith! By the Force! The fiend must have been tormenting Ben for years!”

“Yeah. And playing nice with him when he was a kid. Visiting with Ben righr under your nose! You missed that. Here’s the deal, Luke. Ben thinks the Jedi and the Sith are trying to use him as a pawn. He wants nothing to do with any of it. And I agree with him. Ben’s a tough kid, Luke. And he’s terrified. He was crouched in a three foot space with a blaster in his hand, half-drunk. Whatever this Snoke guy is selling? Ben doesn’t want any of it. And after what you did? I figure he'll be finding his own way with the Force, like his mother has.”

“This is too much. This is terrible. What will we tell Leia? Let me talk to her. I failed Ben. It’s my fault. At least I know he’s fighting it. Just…keep him safe, Han. Please. And…tell him I’m sorry. Tell him I know I’ve done the wrong thing. A terrible thing. But I only because I’m almost as scared as he is.”

***

Ben felt safer on Bespin, but despite the doctor giving him a sedative, he couldn't sleep.

He was still terrified.

But his mind was free of Snoke.

Somehow, in the simple act of fighting his Uncle off and immediately fleeing into the night he had undone the Sith Lord's plans, or showed him he wanted none of them, or maybe Snoke was just regrouping.

But Ben was free of the presence that had dogged him relentlessly through all of his most recent year at the Jedi Temple.

Then?

Ben heard another voice.

Not Vader’s.

Like it, but not Vader’s.

“Ben? You can hear me? Finally?”

The room glowed softly blue.

The hulking man in Jedi robes sitting on the end of his bed was about the same size as he was, and he had the same prominent features; his hair was reddish brown, though, instead of black.

“Grandfather?” Ben asked.

He could feel fear leaving him.

“Yes, Ben! Finally! I can feel your fear leaving you. That is good. But you can’t relax your vigilance. Listen to me. Now that you know my presence? Don’t be fooled by anyone imitating me. Your instincts are sound. It’s time for there to be no Dark and no Light. No Jedi and no Sith. Time for a new path. A path of balance, where the Force is United. But you do need a guide. I know now is not the time. What you need now is to feel safe. Protected. You will have me to protect you, too. I am more powerful than Master Snoke. I will keep him away from you, until you have recovered from this terrible attack.”

“Why did Uncle Luke attack me?”

“He was afraid. And when Skywalkers get scared, rage comes. You know that, Ben.”

Ben nodded.

“I know. I was angry, too. But I was more frightened than angry. So I ran.”

“Sometimes retreat is your only option for victory. Had you given in to your rage and struck my son down? You would be a pawn in Snoke’s hands, now. Luke is as frightened as you are. Leia will be furious. It will be her instinct to immediately focus her considerable powers to destroy the threat. It falls to me to lead you all. I have been waiting. I am ready.”

“What should I do, now? Find my own way in the Force?”

“You must reach your own balance between the Dark and the Light, Ben. Then I can guide you. But first? You must admit that both live in your soul, and only then can you find your equilibrium. While you undertake this task? I will protect you from Snoke. But, after I become your guide? You will have to learn to deal with him.”

At least it was a plan that made sense to Ben.

“What about right now?”

“After you have slept? Talk to your mother. And I will speak with my son. Eventually, you must speak to him, too. But not yet. As for Snoke? My daughter and I will deal with him, for now. But in the future? When you are strong enough? You will destroy him, and his evil.”

“You will be my Master, grandfather?”

“No. You will be your own Master, Ben. I will be your teacher. And your guide. But now you must rest, so that your mind and spirit can heal. You’re in your rogue father’s rogue crony’s stronghold. The two of them, and the Wookiee, won’t let so much as droid past them. You are safe. I hate to say it, but your instinct was correct. When you are with Captain Solo? You are safe. Lie down, now. I will stay with you, while you sleep. You will not dream of the Dark Side.”

“Will I see more of you now, Grandfather?”

“Yes. Almost as much as if I were alive. All the love and attention that you have not had from your mother, your father and your Uncle? You will have from me. I have no other distractions. No other purpose, Ben, than to love and teach and support you. My love for you gives me form, and purpose, and the ability to come to this world. Sleep well, my boy. Sleep well every night, knowing that Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader, is watching over you. I am your sword and your shield, until you learn to defend and protect yourself. Sleep. And know how well you are loved.” Anakin promised.

Ben allowed the sedative to take effect, and he drifted off to sleep.

***

Han did not wait for Luke to talk to Leia.

He checked on Ben, and found him asleep, at last.

Then he immediately got Leia on the radio.

“I’ve been calling you and calling you! Something happened to Ben! I can feel that something is wrong. Is he sick? Hurt?” she insisted.

“Ben’s OK, now. He’s with me and Chewie. Hidden in a safe place. But something is sure as shit wrong! Luke tried to cut his head off with a lightsaber, while he slept. Ben’s going to have a little scar, but he'll be fine.”

“WHAT? Luke did what? A little scar! Where?”

“On his face.”

“My brother disfigured our son's face while trying to murder him?”

“It’s going to be a little scar. Once it heals. The kind women find interesting. I’ve talked to Luke about what he did. He admitted it. Ben’s not a little kid, anymore. He’s got to be a really big man. And he was cowering behind a desk. In a three foot spot. After I pulled him out, Ben was clinging to me, screaming and weeping. He hid all night, crying and drinking beer. I never saw him so terrified. I thought he was going to die of sheer fright. But I got him to a doctor and a safe place, and he’s OK, now. I just checked on the kid. He’s finally asleep.”

“Holy Mother Force, Han!”

“It gets worse. So Ben tells me some Sith guy named Snoke is in his head. That this Sith Master showed up to talk to him, in person. Ben’s afraid of him, too. I guess he did something to make Luke think Ben joined the circus. But he hasn’t. I told you this Jedi shit wasn’t good for him.”

“Well, I need to talk to him. Why would he tell you these things and not me? Why didn’t he tell us years ago?”

“When, Leia? When we weren’t busy? Ben’s afraid of you, too. He thinks you’ll send him right back to Crazy Uncle Luke and shove him into the arms of the guy who wants to make him Vader Jr. Ben wants nothing to do with any of it. Sith. Jedi. None of it. He’s a man, now, he’s old enough to decide what he wants, and he wants to stick with me. And I am not sending him back there. Never. No matter what you say. That’s it. No more Jedi shit for Ben.”

“He didn’t tell Luke about this Sith Lord?”

“He’s terrified of both of you. Me, he just thinks I’m a fuckin’ asshole. He told me so, and he’s probably right. But this time I’m gonna do the right thing. Because, right now Ben thinks Anakin Skywalker is great. Right now he still understands he was not so great when he was Vader. Right now. I think we need to keep it that way.”

Leia sighed.

“I couldn’t follow the Jedi path. Neither could my father. Ben can’t, either. We’ll have to help him find his own path.”

“Who? What? What the fuck does any of that shit matter?” Han insisted.

“You know what, Han? It doesn’t. When Ben wakes up, tell him I am not going to make him go back to Luke. Tell him I said I respect his choice. And ask him if he’ll talk to me. As his mother. He doesn’t even have to tell me where he is. I just want to talk to him. OK?”

“OK. I wish you were here, Leia.”

“I do, too.”

***

Ben agreed to talk to his mother, on the radio.

“Is it bad, Ben? Your face. I’ve been talking to reconstructive surgeons all day. I know how sensitive you are about your face.”

“Its OK, Mom. It’s not going to be a big deal.”

“Well, if you change your mind, I have a doctor lined up. Oh, Ben, I…I went wrong, somewhere. But I love you, and I want to make things right. I’m going to start talking to my father, as much as I don’t want to. I won’t let the Sith take you away from me. I won’t.”

Ben didn’t know what to say.

Leia sighed.

“I see that half of the money you got from your trust when you turned 21 is gone. Where did it go?”

“I’m having a YT-2400 custom built for me. Using some of my own designs. I’m going to call her the Hellfire.” Ben answered.

Enthusiastically.

“That’s a fairly practical use for money for a young man. I thought you were spending it on girls.”

“What girls, Mom?”

“You might have been a late bloomer, Ben, but I know you know about lot of girls.”

“You mean like Trixie at the Yavin-4 Spaceport Cantina?”

“Please tell me you didn’t. Even if you did.”

“I thought about it. Yeah I know a lot of girls. I know just about every girl at the Jedi Temple who’s over the Galactic Age of Consent. Not that I’m complaining. But they only like me for a little while, or they only like me at night, without my pants on. Like at the Temple. They all act like they didn’t even know me. Until they do. I’d spend money on a girl, if I could keep one.”

Leia wanted to laugh.

“Ben, your female classmates took a vow of chastity. They can’t act like they're crazy about you in public.”

“I never thought of that. Maybe they miss me.”

“They?”

“Yeah. I had the girls spaced out to different days of the week. Every day, I miss that day's girlfriend.”

Leia was at a loss for what to tell him.

And she was still trying not to laugh.

“You’re still too young to worry about getting serious about a girl. Or a series of them. Tell me about your ship.”

“Its gonna be great! All black, black as a raven’s wing. With red piping and Beskar steel chrome. And I’m having moulded retractable housings put over all the guns. To make the ship more aerodynamic. She’ll have the latest model hyperdrive, and I specifically designed the, uh, secret compartments to fit their different cargoes. Two layers. Where each false bottom has a false bottom. And in the cargo bay, a station for my TIE Fighter. I’m having the whole interior done in Beskar chrome, black leather and red Endor mahogany. I made the Captain’s cabin a little bigger than usual, so it’s big enough for me. Wait till you her, Mom.”

“Space really is your home, isn’t it, Ben?”

“I am a Skywalker. King of the Sky. The stars belong to me.” He replied.

“Well, since you’ve got your own ship, you should finish your last year at the Republic Academy.”

“I don’t need a commission to be a pilot, Mom.”

“But you liked the Republic Academy. You want to be a pilot, not a Jedi? I accept that. But you have to finish your education. Even your father finished school at the Imperial Academy. I want you to finish school.”

“On Coruscant?”

“Yes. Maybe you and your old man can come home for the Fall semester. I haven’t sold the penthouse, yet. And we can do family shit, until you graduate. Yell. Throw things at each other. Just like old times."

Ben laughed.

“I could do that.”

“I want you to. I want you to concentrate on what you want to do. Who you want to be. I admit it. I was wrong. I pushed you too hard to do what I wanted. So, can we compromise on this? You can go play pirates with your Dad, as long as you finish school. In case you ever want to do anything else with your life.”

“I’ll give it a shot, Mom. The Hellfire will be finished, by the Fall semester. You’re…you’re not mad at me? Really?”

“No, Ben. I’m not. Can I come and see you? I won’t nag you, or your father about where you’re going or what you’re doing all spring and summer. I just want to see you, and make sure you’re alright.”

Leia felt the conflict in Ben.

He wanted to trust her.

But he was afraid.

“I had a long talk with my Dear Old Dad. I’m not opposed to him guiding you. As long as he lets me in on what he’s doing. And I think I'll take over your non-metaphysical training. You know. The fun stuff. Lighsaber fights. Obstacle courses. Beating the drone with the blast shield down. Except I’m not going to coddle you, like Luke coddles you kids. It’s going to be hard. The way reality is.”

That swept the last of Ben’s conflict away.

He knew she was with him.

“We’re on Bespin. Don’t let anyone follow you.”

“I know that, Ben. I’ll see you, soon.”

#ben solo #ben solo lives #reylo #star wars fanfiction #rey #tros fix it #save ben solo

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yetanotherreader · 5 years

Text

Useful—1

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N, a pinch of Lisa sprinkled in.

Summary: The school's most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count(for the chapter): 1,494

Warnings (for the chapter): Nothing as such. Slightest language?

____________

Useful Masterlist

Chapter-1

Good girls always fall for bad boys.

Now, did they? At least, that's how the legend went. All your life, it was exactly what you had read in those books you carried in your bag. And they were the reason you were starting to believe this pointless theory. Or was it your irresistible attraction towards that leather-jacketed classmate of yours? Obviously, the former. You weren't falling for him of all the guys. And you weren't exactly the good types, were you?

"Y/N!" You heard your friend call from behind, "You up for tonight's party at Jo's?

"Jo? I thought you hated her?" You raised your brow in your friend's direction, continuing your walk down the hallway.

"Nooo, why would I hate that beautiful babe?"

"Lisa," deadpanning, you continued, "Cut the crap."

Lisa smiled at you cheekily, squinting her eyes and you obviously got the sign.

"Boys" You said with the roll of your eyes, whilst she echoed simultaneously with an excited squeal. Shaking your head, you smiled at her excitement, whilst she continued to grin your way adorably. At least someone's looking forward to living their life.

You and Lisa were totally different, to the extent it got you thinking about how you were even friends in the first place. She was one of the most popular girls of the college, whilst you were a hidden hermit. She loved partying and drinking, whilst you made excuses to stay home and read one of those fanfictions they wrote. Not that you got a lot of invitations, but ever since you started hanging out with Lisa, they were more. It was uncomfortable at first, and quite frankly, it still was. You weren't used to it—the attention, so many people around you, people talking to you. Although before you met Lisa, you felt way lonelier than you'd ever like to admit, you still sometimes missed the calm in it. But again, you did you. You still ditched parties for books, still said no to drunk boys, still wore baggy hoodies and Potter glasses, and still ate street food. Uncool? Fair enough. Uncool it is, then.

"So, you coming?" She tugged at your backpack just as you were making your way into the class.

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Y/N"

"No"

"Today's food on me"

"Yes"

"Yee!" She squealed and hugged you, locking your hands to your body, as you froze in your place. You really did like to maintain that reputation of the tough, unaffectionate girl you had among the few people you talked to.

"Yeah, yeah. It's the free food." With a fake scowl, you went in the lecture hall, as she made her way to hers.

_____________

It was a rather boring lecture, and you would sell your soul to bunk the other one scheduled after the break. All you did during the whole class was scroll down your Instagram feed, or Tumblr checking for another part of the fanfiction you were currently reading. Hunters. How cool was that! You lived to read such fantasies, or who knew if they existed in real life too.

"Didn't take you for the one to use your phone during the class." You looked up to see him, and tried your hardest not to gawk at his entire confident demeanor. Leather jacket, spiky short blonde-ish brown hair, green eyes and—were they...freckles?

You cleared your throat locking your phone, "Didn't take you for the one to talk to unpopular girls during the break, either."

A smirk started to grace his lips as you quickly averted your gaze back to your phone, unlocking it and scrolling through the posts again.

"Ah! That hurt," he mocked hurt as you found yourself resisting a smile at his antics, "Did I see a smile there, and can I sit?" He smiled to himself.

"No," You said with a roll of your eyes shifting to the seat next to the wall, "So what brings you here, Winchester?"

"Low attendance," He chuckled to himself but it subsided soon, clearing his throat, as he heard no laugh from your side, "Sorry, wasn't funny."

"No it was, I'm just trying not to laugh." You said, the bored expression not leaving your face, as you again turned back to your phone, just before it was snatched from your hands.

"First, it's very rude to use your phone when someone's talking to you," He smiled in return to the glare you threw his way, "And second, Y/N, I've come here to be friends with you.

Now that piqued your interest, as you raised your right brow at him, "No, I mean it. I'm buddies with everyone in the class but you. The only time we ever talked was back during the first year, and it didn't quite end well."

"Sweets. Tempting but no," You gave the freckled man in front of you a tight lipped smile, "Winchester, what kinda bet you at, this time?" You said nonchalantly, definitely not believing a word of what he was asking for.

"No bet, I promise! I genuinely want to know you." And he thought you'd believe him, didn't he? As if.

"Guess what, Dean?" You smiled at him sweetly, as he started to grin, "Buzz off, not before giving me my phone back."

His grin faltered midway as he sighed, "You really are a hardhead, are you not?" He handed you over the phone and walked out of the hall.

Well, wow.. that was weird.

_____________

Dean knew it wasn't going to be an easy task. She wasn't a soft nut to crack. Not that he had expected her to just believe him like that. He wasn't joking when he said that their first encounter wasn't the most pleasant one. A bet. That's what it was.

New to college, he knew he needed to make a reputation to survive those four years. He couldn't go down on his first day, after all. He wasn't going to. And as his seniors dared him to throw the next student out of the door into the pool, he did. He was very hesitant, he knew it was bullying and he sure wasn't in favor of that but he also knew that if he didn't, they'll make the next three years of his life hell. He had no other choice.

That's when she walked out of the class—baggy sweater, round glasses, reading a book, your typical nerd. Her appearance just made him more guilty for what he was about to do next, she was too innocent to be a part of any of this. Other bullies of the school would just make her college years a living hell after today, if he did that- when he did that. Although, he was determined he wouldn't let anyone near her after today, it did little to no good easing his guilt.

Next thing he knew was that she was scooped up in his arms, her book on the floor, deep Y/E/C wide orbs staring back into his apologetic ones and her arms tight around his neck as if to make sure she wouldn't fall down—oh boy, only if she knew—and splash!

It was all a matter of seconds when he realized she was struggling to keep up on the surface, "The bet's over, I won!" He yelled at the couple of boys and three girls laughing behind him as he jumped into the pool to save the tiny bean.

"Look I'm sorry, I know it was an ass move but you gotta believe me, I didn't mean any of it. It was a bet, I mea-" He looked at her still baffled expressions, as she tried to regulate her breathing, "Are you okay?"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" His eyes all but widened at the unexpected not-just-an-outburst but a hard slap to his face.

Turns out, she didn't need all that saving after all.

He chuckled at the memory. It's been three years, and they were still not friends. Gosh, what did he not do after that. Passed her sorry notes, apologized to her in person, waited for her outside her classrooms and even sneaked into her dorm earning an earful from the warden. Oh, Y/N still didn't know about the dorm one, not that she ever would. Finally, after all those efforts she sure forgave him, but they decided that they won't talk ever again.

And they didn't.

It wasn't that he never wanted to. He did, he really did. Y/N really intrigued him, to the point he found himself staring at her just to study her, in hopes to look past the mysterious aura she carried. If he didn't know better, he would have thought he had a crazy crush on the girl.

Right then, though, he hoped she came to Jo's party that evening, and he sure as hell hoped he could get some help winning over the beautiful girl he had gotten a crush on.

Lisa.

______________

Chapter 2

_____________

A/N: Wellllll. I tried my luck again. I don't know how it turned out but ah. So it will have more parts, so if anybody of you wanna get tagged, send me an ask or reblog it with your comment. Feedback is really appreciated, so I can know if I should continue or not. Love❤️

Tags: @bi-danvers0

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Your nan in? Janis: what? Jimmy: not a hard question, does she work weekends or what? Janis: stop trying to get with my nan, freak Jimmy: I'm trying to do nowt, our kid is Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby with a lewk on and some kind of gift for Libi because he's asking her out lowkey] Jimmy: so go on, she there or not? Janis: Aw Janis: where's he off to? Janis: I'm looking after Libi, dunno if it's classed as punishment or they just wanted to piss off out for the day that bad Jimmy: Asia's sister's having a 🥳🎂🎁 and he don't wanna go on his own Jimmy: last night were the first I heard Jimmy: so I said I'd ask if he can invite Libi out Janis: relatable Janis: wouldn't wanna face all those 🦷🦷 alone either Janis: I'll show her the 📸 sure she'll be pure buzzing Jimmy: it's alright for you I've gotta piss about and translate 'cause none of them can be bothered to learn how to talk to him Jimmy: not til 🕑 loads of time to put her 👗👠👑 on but he's been ready for ages Janis: I mean, glad they haven't just assumed they can shout really, really loud at him Janis: only cute when she does it, obvs Janis: but that's shit, Asia's gonna think you're hanging about to 👀 her, you know Janis: 👗👠👑 and everything Jimmy: I were 🤞 she wouldn't wanna be there surrounded by kids and that, but they probably are her mental age Jimmy: be a right laugh then, this 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 now I can convince the pair of them to go do something else Janis: they're weird about it Janis: great for the 'gram pretending you're bezzies with your little sisters Jimmy: the rest of the #squad gonna be there then? Janis: not 💀👑 or #2 I doubt Janis: maybe the others though Jimmy: I get it, they'd scare the kids Jimmy: float away if they grab a 🎈 Janis: with their combined BMI, no point pretending they wanna be future mummy bloggers Janis: 🩸🩸 pact it ain't Jimmy: sure Azerbaijan or whatever her name is, is gutted they ain't coming Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Auntie Mimi Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you got a 👗👠👑 there you can chuck on an' all? Janis: so nice of you to reckon I'm ready to step in to sign backup Jimmy: you know loads of insults, that's all the birthday girl ever has to say to him Janis: she must be unbearable Janis: Asia with less filter, some fucking how Janis: I can come with Jimmy: tah Jimmy: it were doing his head in 💭 what it might be like Janis: understandable Janis: kids are dicks Janis: but if everyone else is going, you don't wanna be the one who don't Jimmy: yeah, he weren't having that Janis: they'll have a good time Janis: providing he ain't 😳 to be seen with her Janis: she's putting on some kind of costume rn Janis: might need to 👍👎 Jimmy: he'll be chuffed Jimmy: if this party had been the other year with his mates from home he'd have put his own 👗👠👑 on Janis: Asia's probably dressed bday girl up in a matching 'fit with her Janis: lovely visual, not weird as fuck Janis: they'll be the most 😎 ones there, deffo Jimmy: I'm wrapping a weird doll with massive 👀 that looks like her on a night out rn Jimmy: [a picture] Janis: ✝️✝️✝️ Janis: gonna tell the hot priest to book that in after me Jimmy: sent a 🎁 list, her mini me, you ever heard of such a pisstake? Jimmy: mate, you're turning 7 Janis: bad enough when adults do it just 'cos they've decided to do the paperwork Janis: that's some bullshit Jimmy: she's such a little twat 🤞 Libi gives her the shit 🎅 treatment Janis: letting her bring her whatever tat she's picking up about the gaff Janis: go ahead, like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: brb gonna go dress in all black like those dickheads who work puppets Janis: when are you not all in black though Jimmy: loads Janis: 🏫 don't count Janis: no choice Janis: or whatever the CG uniform is Jimmy: 1. I weren't on about school 2. you know what the uniform is, you've been in Janis: not committed it to memory like Janis: soz Janis: have to 💭 about Pete more, you're right Jimmy: you did 👀 at it enough, dickhead Jimmy: but I get it, my 👀 are up a bit from the apron Jimmy: very PG, you Janis: PC and PG Janis: 💔 Jimmy: good thing I've got you to rein me in at this bollocks party Janis: not a wet blanket Janis: but this party will probably be traumatizing enough so you're welcome anyway Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: she can stay at ours after if she wants, let you piss off and do something that ain't Janis: oh, yeah, cheers Jimmy: no bother Janis: if you ever need, he can come here Jimmy: take you up on that when this Sharon's gone and Ian's hanging about 💔🎻😭 Janis: a new one? Janis: or is xmas Sharon back Jimmy: doing the rounds her Jimmy: be a record Janis: 😱 Janis: buy a hat Jimmy: get another exorcism booked, more like Jimmy: been trying to 🙏 her away Janis: he's a little preoccupied rn Janis: oops, soz, He's Jimmy: bloody typical Janis: shit nan got in early and they're like 🤝 Janis: do anything for her Janis: priorities Jimmy: 💔 she won't do owt for me Jimmy: reckoned I'd made a top first impression Janis: @ her Jimmy: what is it? Janis: @godandmejudgingeverybody Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: she reckons so too Jimmy: I worked that out when we 🤝 Janis: BFFs in the making Jimmy: obvs Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: if she's chucking about incense an' all, I might do Janis: Poor boy Janis: baptism of 🔥 ain't far off Jimmy: still 😱😱 you didn't do that to Lucas' car Jimmy: what did I even bother giving you a lighter for, girl? Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: you didn't see how fucked it was Janis: talk 😱😱 like Freddie got hold of it Jimmy: where's the 📷s? Janis: love keeping evidence on my phone, me Janis: think on Janis: getting us out of detention, not back in Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em, calm yourself down Janis: see for yourself Monday Janis: not like he can afford a replacement or paint job Jimmy: he'll have had it done piss poor Janis: just some emulsion Janis: not for his baby Jimmy: gotta do what you've gotta do Jimmy: we've all nicked out the 🎨 cupboard Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: oh so you don't want today's? alright Jimmy: ❌ Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: in the 🗑 now, Janet Janis: shut up Janis: give it me Jimmy: when I see you Jimmy: can't have you feeling left out about all these 🎁s Jimmy: our kid's been trying to pick half the garden like it ain't winter Janis: so smooth, that one Jimmy: SO 😍💕🤝 the pair of them Janis: it's pretty cute Janis: for now Jimmy: can't wait to see how many Josephs the star of the nativity's got Jimmy: bet her sister and me can't count that high Janis: you calling a 7 year old a slag? 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 💭 about someone else then, my bad Jimmy: that sounds like you, we're back on track Janis: now I'm a slag Janis: have been chatting to my nan Jimmy: ain't my fault 💀👑 reckons 💭 is cheating if anyone else does it Janis: the dissonance between that and 1. what she do and more importantly 2. what daddy do Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: dunno what your 🤓🗨 means but she's a hypocrite, yeah Janis: come on Janis: left out cognitive for you Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: Bill wanted you to have that Janis: that's why he's my fave Jimmy: alright, I'll leave you to @ him Janis: OR Janis: you could be nice to me and I'll reconsider my ratings Jimmy: invited you to a 🥇 party a bit ago Jimmy: don't get nicer than that, dickhead Janis: **a shit party, possibly the shittest if Asia's had fuck all to do with organizing Janis: but you are bringing me a pity present so 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, it's a masterpiece Jimmy: and I'm having Libi for you when she's 🎂🧁🍭🍬😁 Janis: you aren't offering spoilers Janis: but you did offer that Jimmy: you can have one that I reckoned wouldn't be #goals enough Jimmy: [funny doodles shading the gals and this party etc, we know what I'm saying] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: it's 🤓 goals Jimmy: you can frame it, just don't stick in on your story Janis: still know what I'm doing Janis: not been that long Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: teaching you signing is one thing Janis: oi Janis: you don't need to teach me nothing about #goals Jimmy: you do alright Janis: better than any other bitch could Jimmy: that'll be why I picked you Jimmy: not some other lass Janis: don't act like you're regretting it then Jimmy: if I were performing that scene it'd be loads more dramatic Janis: wait for your cue Jimmy: how about you stop reading ahead Janis: 🤪 Jimmy: I said you were doing alright not that I were regretting owt Janis: I don't like the sound of alright Janis: sounds a bit participation 🏆 Jimmy: *🥈 Janis: that means 🥈 as a team Janis: joint effort Jimmy: it means you're 🥈 to my 🥇 Janis: bollocks Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you're no better Janis: we do the same amount Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you can't be 🥇 on your own Janis: ✊🍆 Jimmy: couldn't be #goals on my own Janis: same thing Jimmy: is it? Janis: with what we're talking about Jimmy: I were giving you my review, not the fans Janis: I know how big your head is Janis: no need to 💬 Jimmy: you can have a 🥇 for how massive yours is an' all Janis: I don't want that one Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: 🥇 review Jimmy: that's what you had before you picked holes in my wording Janis: fine Janis: say it again and I'll 🤐 Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: UGH fine Jimmy: 🙄 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: if I wanted to chat to my sister Janis: I'd ask if she was coming Jimmy: and if I wanted my lines corrected I'd @ Bill's 👻 Janis: maybe if I 🔊 'em I'd feel different Jimmy: I'll follow Libi's lead Janis: as long as it's before the shindig Janis: doesn't sound #goalz Jimmy: we'll have to whisper then Jimmy: wouldn't want the birthday girl to hear me calling her a twat Janis: 😏 Janis: not 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: heaven forbid Jimmy: have to have our own party and have it be up to us what's 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: we should Janis: but where Jimmy: we can have it here 🤞 they'll trash the place and Ian'll be so 💔🎻😭 he packs what's left up Janis: alright Janis: but where are you putting the kid Janis: your sister can hang maybe but call me crazy, six is a bit too young Jimmy: with his 👰? Janis: 💡 Janis: we could set that up Janis: my nan works with kids, the non-shit one Libi lives with Janis: he'd be good Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: ✔👍 Janis: BUT WHAT WILL WE WEAR Jimmy: OMG! Jimmy: 🛍🛍🛍!! Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS Jimmy: what are you actually wearing for this bollocks in a bit though? Jimmy: 🚫💡 me Jimmy: do I go #goals or do her head in? Janis: you don't wanna look like you've made a special effort for her Janis: but I will be there so 🤔 Janis: go hot but more what they 💭 I'm into Jimmy: so dress like a lass? alright Janis: 😒❌ Janis: peak 'you' Janis: twat Jimmy: 😎 I get it Janis: 👏 Janis: there you go Jimmy: tah 😘 Jimmy: would HATE to upstage the birthday girl Janis: I've checked their socials to make sure I do Janis: as you asked Jimmy: should be in the group chat Jimmy: [shows her pisstakey qs he's been sending Asia] Janis: I turned the notifs off Jimmy: they do go on and on Jimmy: I won't 🗨 that'll be why you're 🥈 Janis: they wanna 🗨 to you Janis: not me Jimmy: but I want to talk to you Jimmy: and read what you have to say to them, obvs Janis: okay, fair point Jimmy: you're funny, said that before Janis: I won't 🗨 if it's list worthy Jimmy: alright, I won't tell you Janis: 😔 Jimmy: what? Janis: now I wanna know, obviously Janis: but Jimmy: but? Janis: won't ask won't tell Jimmy: so ask Janis: well you'll probably just say nah now Jimmy: make me sound like more of a dickhead Janis: you're not Janis: you just take the piss Jimmy: I know when to leave it out Janis: okay Janis: so does it? Jimmy: why wouldn't it? Janis: I know I'm great and have a MASSIVE head and everything Janis: but don't crack myself up Janis: 🤣🤣🤣😬 Jimmy: it's my list Jimmy: dunno why that's hard to get your head round Jimmy: you don't get a say what's on it and it don't matter if you agree or not Janis: alright Janis: were just saying why it might not be Jimmy: alright Janis: but is it Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: not gonna have a list of things and just not put something I give you loads of compliments about on it Janis: okay Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 🚭 for a bit 💔🎻 Janis: might have cigars Janis: is a birthday Jimmy: one Asia might've organised Janis: those candy ones Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: Bobby will be in his impression element Jimmy: he'd have to take Libi's fav 🖍 out from behind his 👂 Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: goals when she realises Janis: so 😍 Janis: she's done him a picture Janis: tell him to pretend it's good Jimmy: well harsh critic, you Jimmy: dunno if I wanna give you this 🎨 now Jimmy: or tell him owt 'cause he's been trying to get us to go knock on your nan's door for ages Janis: she's 4, and not picasso Janis: that's not mean Janis: we are ready, if he wants to come play first, or go to the park Janis: whatever Jimmy: you've near had my 👂 off, don't make me van Gogh Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: awh Janis: don't be 💙 Janis: come over Jimmy: okay Janis: you don't have to Janis: but she's rabid too Jimmy: I've left, not gonna turn him back round Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up so Bobby can adorably ask Libi to come to this party with him like it's a date on the doorstep and Jimothy can give his bae a single 🌹 for the shakespearean romance of it along with this 🎨 which I like to think isn't just a doodle like the rest but a full moment because she really inspired him by getting them out of detention] Janis: [she will be thrilled, love to imagine how iconic the party fit we've assembled is, a whole mishmash of things we love you know the vibe, probably gonna smooch him like what a lovely surprise and this is her romcom now lmao, thank god these kids be distracted 'cos we are likewise overwhelmed af by both these gestures in a way we don't even want babbies to see thank you] Jimmy: [I know that you'd never be able to find a lewk iconic enough for this mvp so I shall imagine it, likewise glad that these children are having their rom com moment because adorable but also because Jimothy would be feeling so awks because we don't normally try with our art and don't think we're good at it, go show Bobby your room gal, kids love doing that and JJ can have a cuppa or something and calm down] Janis: [yeah idk what pinterest rabbit hole I'd have to go down but doubt we'd get the desired effect, I'm thinking some kind of superhero moment on top w a cape, then a tutu, then some snazzy boots, then a crown, you know exactly the moment we're wilding and Asia's sisters are gonna be like oh lmao, probably put Killer in the garden so she doesn't bowl Bobby over immediately but you can go play with her too, just keep looking at this art shamelessly 'cos he's stepped his game up and we are impressed, also finding a way to braid this rose into our hair which again doubt I'll get a photo but it'd be a lewk as well, go sit with your cuppas like the parents you are lol] Jimmy: [yeah they are usually v basic with their children's lewks you'd need instagram or like a celeb who lets their kid dress themselves and even then, might not be the vibe, Asia's sisters can honestly fuck off because we know the older one who's like younger than Cass so in my head probably like 9/10 is an even bigger bitch so, what's important is how buzzing these kids are because haven't seen each other for ages and how 😳 Jimmy is by her reaction to the art and her hair lewk and how shamelessly he'd be checking her out when she was making the tea because we know she's also wearing one] Janis: [like she's 4 hens idk what to tell ya, she does not care for your shade, we're having a time, we all know the gals, whoever be there, will be going for an overly girly look so you'd win by default but we've clearly tried 'cos want to and we know why] Jimmy: [not soz that she's not 7 going on 17 like the bday gal, idk about you but I feel like if Hollie has any siblings they are probably brothers so she has no reason to be there, so realistically none of them might be unless Grace is babysitting instead of working in the clothes shop in which case she might be but it wasn't really about any of you or for your benefit hens, plus that feels like a vibe because Asia probably was thinking she'd flirt with him] Janis: [tea, like she's a hoe so she don't care but she could've gone in if none of them were about so a mood, not soz to stop that awkwardness at all 'what continent is in his class then?'] Jimmy: [lbr Mia would be encouraging her to like she'd been trying to get Grace to when he first arrived so yeah, as for replying to the bae we just 😏 and shrugging as we make up loads of more and more ridiculous names] Janis: [we all know it, like okay ladies it's clearly not going anywhere but pop off embarrassing yourselves trying, just having a moment of doing that back and forth for the lols] Jimmy: [let it go Mia! we all know he'll have choked on his tea at least once because she is funny we weren't wrong] Janis: [we've missed this] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids even if he would keep getting distracted by the hair 🌹] Janis: ['any particular plan of attack or?'] Jimmy: ['you not leaving me on my own 'cause she'll have one for me' we're joking but lowkey where is the lie] Janis: [just a look that is like ew but obviously 'or with her ma' 'cos just imagining her as an older Asia like there's just all the generations here] Jimmy: [the look on his face would be everything because we've not even considered that] Janis: [just like mhmm, doubt you've ever met her mum in a real capacity girl but also doubt you're wrong lol 'dad did one for a reason...I'll protect you'] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like we're trying to hide which is obvs purely for the pisstake and not because we want to] Janis: [snuggling him back but in a really extra way to prove we're also in on the #bants of it all] Jimmy: ['you got a plan?' like is there anything you wanna do to fuck with the gals while we're there, blatantly still in the snugg as we say this] Janis: [thinking, not just to drag this whole experience out but you know, 'are we inviting them to the party?'] Jimmy: [drawing little ?s on her skin while she's thinking without thinking ourselves about how distracting that'd be or why we probably shouldn't rn 'depends'] Janis: [! when he's doing it but then doing it back to the depends] Jimmy: ['are we still their fake mates?' because lbr the temptation always to just tell them all to go fuck themselves and genuinely thinking about how she was gonna behave at this party if Janis wasn't there] Janis: [shrugs 'they're shit mates, we don't have to invite them and we could still use it later to fuck with them' like they'll get over the diss of not being invited so fuck it if we don't wanna] Jimmy: ['alright' boy you make me laugh does that mean you wanna invite them or you don't] Janis: [tickle him a bit like alright what, dickhead] Jimmy: [so fake offended like excuse you I'm not off my tits on Helena's pain meds today but we know he's actually okay because he's obvs ticking her back more than she did to him] Janis: [getting out 'I will kick you' but as a warning not a threat 'cos don't wanna actually injure you here boy] Jimmy: ['no you won't' lowkey sounds like a challenge there boy but we know you're saying she loves you too much 'not shit mates, us'] Janis: [a LOOK 'we're alright' 'cos didn't mean to drag you so much over a word, the feels are confusing and high] Jimmy: [return the LOOK 'and you are' because you're alright too still even though you did drag him 😏] Janis: [between 🤭 and 😳 like okay, I know, shh but we're not mad 'you' like you too bitch] Jimmy: [touch her hair like you've wanted to this entire time 'but this...' like this needs a word you won't drag me for because you've made such good choices gal 'not alright' because at the same time WE ARE AFFECTED AF] Janis: ['do something about it then' which IS a challenge but you know full well these kids are in and out/you have no time but do we care] Jimmy: [is going to pull her hair in that way that's meant to be playful and pisstakey but is saucy as all hell because of course he is] Janis: [trying so hard NOT to react and make a sound that the lip bite you have to do would be indecent Jimmy: [so indecent that he'd have to do his own while we run our thumb over her bottom lip like always] Janis: [kissing that thumb honey] Jimmy: [I hope the kids are busy because we're making a SOUND like it or not] Janis: [be in the bedroom playing happily tah] Jimmy: [you gotta because we're pulling her into our lap to kiss her] Janis: [we will let you have this 'cos you need to] Jimmy: [likewise gotta let him also pull whatever clothes he needs aside so he can do an epic lovebite somewhere where these kids nor the kids at this party can't see the massive bruise because they'd all have faded and that upsets me] Janis: [boo says not on my watch, I also sincerely hope mcvickers have gone somewhere for the day and don't just waltz in now because we are so into it] Jimmy: [soz but we've started something now without him stopping himself so we literally cannot stop, it has been forever since they last did any of this] Janis: [concerned he would never wanna again so we're doing the most rn] Jimmy: [I don't even need to say how into it he is] Janis: [bit rude of us to do this and send you to a kid's party but that's life] Jimmy: [I am that rude bitch] Janis: [if it wasn't rude to Bobby we'd just dump you on 'em but you know, this has dealt with some tension and increased the rest lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome but also I'm soz (I'm not though) hens] Janis: [gotta stunt on Asia so she can report back] Jimmy: [we shall and it'll be glorious] Jimmy: [I was thinking there should be a person there doing the kids' make up and nails because she's 7 going on 17 and so Bobby should get his painted Libi's fave colour and vice versa] Janis: [that's cute as hell, Libi acting like this makeup lady is a facepaint one like make me this tah] Jimmy: [don't worry gal, jimothy will paint your face for you when we leave this party and it will be bomb because I feel like the makeup woman is like that hairdresser woman in the duchess who wouldn't let her daughter sit in the car] Janis: [Luckily you to lil to be made to feel embarrassed just like hmm you're not very good are you like can't make me a tiger? bit shit hen lmao] Jimmy: [sass everyone gal JJ are here for it and you know they'd also ask her to facepaint them, just coming at her with ideas until she's like please stop] Janis: [this woman trying to paint pink nails and do some sparkly gloss and we're like challenge yourself babes, also gonna scran this party food it better be good fam] Jimmy: [I hope it tastes alright at least even if it looks tacky as hell lol] Janis: [at least you can't not go the sugar route at a kids bday, can't make 'em eat salads n water lol] Jimmy: [imagine everyone dancing please, JJ be dancing, Libi and Bobby, Libi and Jimothy and Janis and Bobby] Janis: [a whole mood, imagine everyone's faces at all times it's so amusing] Jimmy: [I can't wait for when Asia reports all of this back to Mia and she sees all the content everyone is posting] Janis: [when has a boy ever, the idea of even bringing one home horrifies y'all] Jimmy: [not at all soz that he's actually the softest boy ever and loves both of these bubs instead of whatever weird barista stereotype y'all thought] Janis: [they obvs thought he was 😎 stereotype for real like ok gals] Jimmy: [omg just saw on Pinterest these cards like who knows the bday girl best that you fill in and we have to have JJ fill in some for their own lols that they obvs aren't gonna give to this child but] Janis: [that's a must omg] Jimmy: [also there should be like a cupcake decorating station or something like that because the bubs would actually have fun doing that and JJ can be competitive doing theirs] Jimmy: [photobooth goes without saying but one where the photos come out and you can keep them because then we can have so many great mems thank you] Janis: [when we're just ignoring every guest lowkey love it] Jimmy: [obvs if there are kids in your class you fuck with Bobby you can proudly introduce Libi to them, cos let's assume they aren't all dicks] Jimmy: [and lowkey Libi can introduce Bobby because he's been too shy to talk to any of y'all] Janis: [statistically, some of you must be okay lol, also some kids lowkey like the shine of a 'different' kid and like to like help, which is cute even if it's a bit like oh you special, they don't mean it like that] Jimmy: [yeah at that age they are basically just trying to be nice and helpful so it's fine] Janis: [make some friends, Libi is v sociable so this should be fun and not as terrible as you worried, we got you babe] Jimmy: [at least if Libi has got this JJ can have a sec to themselves] Janis: [got to be couple #goals too, I mean we have been but like, keep Asia away] Jimmy: [because that's the ONLY reason honey not that we just wanna] Janis: [mhmm, obvs, not like we got interrupted from going there] Jimmy: [and we obvs think she's gonna just leave after this and go do whatever so we're trying to make the most of this time as if we won't shamelessly invite her in to have her face painted] Janis: [like where does she wanna be, she didn't even wanna beforehand but especially not now lol god bless] Jimmy: [like he probably thinks she wants to go 🐕🏃 for that 💰 but you could literally take these children with you sir] Janis: [like that is what we would do but we also want a life 'cos we've not for these last 3 going on 4 years and it's getting old] Jimmy: [the tea because likewise all he does is work and look after Bobby and Cass so we just wanna live our own life] Janis: [it's both what we want and good news guys you're gonna make it] Jimmy: [gonna be such good parents because you're already doing it now when you're literally 15 and not in a good headspace/situation] Janis: [letting you have fun first, we still gotta look after these kiddos but we're gonna get rid of Ian and Cass will be old enough to help and it'll all be better] Jimmy: [sounds like they are gonna kill Ian which makes me lol] Janis: [lmao, plottwist but no, lowkey what do happen to you Ian lordt] Jimmy: [please feel free to fuck off somewhere else like back up north sir] Janis: [that's a mood, like okay, bye then] Jimmy: [but anyway before we get derailed is there anything else you wanna do at this party or shall we skip?] Janis: [we probably know the vibes, we all had a good time despite the odds and the gals are gonna get the lowdown from Asia] Jimmy: [enjoy the walk back because the kids will be running ahead buzzing off all this sugar and their good time] Janis: [you should take both dogs out as y'all are buzzing, run off their energy too] Jimmy: [good idea because Twix do need to socialise too she's just a baby] Janis: [yeah Killer is a bit older now but she's still v excitable] Jimmy: [just two 🐕 gal pals] Janis: [love stories for all lollollol] Jimmy: [imagine all the artsy pics Jimothy would be getting like a little art hoe] Janis: [we're about it, such a family unit honestly it's wild] Jimmy: [I love it but not the awkward moment when they get back to mcvickers house to take Killer home and he has to be like are you coming to have your face painted or what because fully expecting her to be like nahhh] Janis: [DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE PAINTED BITCH, just seeming like we're like HELL YEAH 'cos we do wanna come] Jimmy: [also we should say mcvickers are back for the lols] Janis: [absolutely, we would've messaged them so they weren't like HELLO but now when we're going back to his it's like SeriousParentTime™] Jimmy: [maybe they won't let Libi sleep over so she's just coming for a bit because then once Bobby crashes they can actually live] Janis: [that makes sense for now, she's probably never had a sleepover outside of the fam because she's that small so go with that] Jimmy: [and lowkey we could potentially palm Bobby off on Cass to put to bed if they wanted to go to the pub or wherever because they are both serving lewks] Janis: [have walked the dog and had 'em all day, c'mon gal lol] Jimmy: [exactly but for now go and do your facepainting sesh because I vote that Bobby is a 🐺 seeing as it's like a dog upgrade and he's feeling himself today and that Jimothy gets the bae to do him as a 💀 for that flatwhite shade] Janis: [ooh, what do you wanna be gals] Janis: [hmm, Libi should ask for a galaxy moment 'cos Star, no pressure, get abstract lmao, maybe a vampire moment for you Janis] Jimmy: [let's not think about how up close and personal facepainting is lads] Janis: [but let's lmao] Jimmy: [please go return the favour of showing Libi your room and then like go on the trampoline or something children] Janis: [live your best lives so we can be here with our face paint on lol] Jimmy: [obvs offering her more tea] Janis: [just gesturing to our face like make it blood but obvs nodding 'cos duh] Jimmy: [he is a big enough nerd to like bring you a glass of water with red food colouring in it while the kettle boils] Janis: [🙄😏 'cos he's funny too hun] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna snatch that 🌹 out of her hair and put it in the water but obvs doesn't actually] Janis: [fake #shooketh 'no takebacks'] Jimmy: ['you wanna kill it an' all?' just flirting and sassing nbd] Janis: ['sure, blame me when you picked it' fake tut] Jimmy: [Oi, you inspired me, it is your fault' looks up dramatically to where Bill's ghost would be floating around 'and a bit his'] Janis: [flirty smiles at where Bill is like I don't mind hehe] Jimmy: [throw something at her like we're so fake jealous and fuming] Janis: [throw something back 'he can't help being a romantic'] Jimmy: [going to make that tea like uggggggggh] Janis: don't be jealous Janis: he 💕 you too Jimmy: he's just using me to get to you Jimmy: not as thick as I look Janis: how long were you chatting to asia Janis: sounds just like her Jimmy: if she's the unappreciated genius 🖋🎭 instead of me and my 🎨 FUMING Jimmy: plot twist too far, that Janis: 😂 Janis: think you're safe Janis: much to her 💔 Jimmy: I were a bit ago an' all, tah for that Jimmy: very 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: reckon you could take her in a fight but Janis: yeah Jimmy: not THAT northern, steady on Janis: you'd be doing her a favour Janis: 🦷🦷 Janis: so fuck that Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: if I were bothered about doing other lasses favours I'd open my DMs Janis: you've mentioned Jimmy: you want owt else while I'm here? Janis: all good Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm glad he ended up having a good time Janis: and not every kid in his class is a little twat Jimmy: only be 💔🎻😭 when she goes off home Jimmy: how it should be Janis: 😏 such a purist, you Jimmy: a what? Jimmy: sounds well like you're insulting us Janis: maybe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: LITERALLY just complimented you Janis: when? Janis: must be AGES ago Jimmy: I get it, you don't know how to tell time either Jimmy: it's alright, we'll work it out together Jimmy: [bring that tea in] Janis: [buzzing like we really need this tea, nothing to do with you] Jimmy: [we're totally also buzzing about this tea and not because she is, yep] Janis: [no one is this excited for a cuppa not even yous or us lol] Jimmy: [I like to think that he goes to kiss her and once again stops himself but this time it's only because of the face paint and we're looking in the direction of upstairs where the children are 'don't fancy having that Q&A' meaning Libi asking what happened if she appears and they have ruined it] Janis: ['she's a right cockblock' and what's meant to be a fake 😒 but we're not not lbr] Jimmy: [we're remembering when we played that game where you had to kiss without touching and reminding her about it like we could change the rules if you're up for that challenge] Janis: [nods 'cos don't trust ourselves to say ANYTHING about this idea] Jimmy: [picture this, he starts out by touching her hair OBVS because he's obsessed but then just gently pulling on her earlobe cos he would've put it in his mouth if he could've then going down her jawline and neck writing kiss or doing an ✔ depending on the surface area we have to play with using our fingertip and varying the amount of pressure depending if it would've been a hard or soft kiss and just doing that for all the skin that's available everywhere] Janis: [shan't because we can't cope and at least we can be obvious about that, these kids are busy and gotta do what we gotta do Jimmy: [gotta do what we've gotta do and we are doing the MOST on this sofa rn even though his entire family + Libi could appear any moment] Janis: [getting on top of you on this sofa even though it's a bad idea for all the above reasons, not to mention the eye contact it demands 'you're rude'] Jimmy: [but it's a good idea for the sound he would make when she did so we're unrepentant over here 'you' well done for getting the word out boy] Janis: [shaking her head and getting the most movement out of that 'you started it'] Jimmy: [pulling her even closer like yeah I did and I'm not soz] Janis: [running our finger across his neck like you should be 'Jimmy...' at least this would be quiet because we're that close but that's the only at least] Jimmy: [touching the lovebite he gave her earlier so deliberately with such intense eye contact like I am simply not though] Janis: ['takes the piss' and pouting 'cos literally vampire facepaint and she hasn't given him one yet] Jimmy: [running his thumb over that lip whilst doing his own pout because we wanna do the pouty lip bite thing SO BAD rn but we can't] Janis: [biting our lip where his thumb just was] Jimmy: [such a frustrated noise as if this wasn't his idea lol] Janis: [finally feeling like we've had a win there so we're smug] Jimmy: [tickling her like how dare you not also be dying here excuse you] Janis: [trying to pin his hands above his head like no no] Jimmy: [he's totally gonna end up pinning you to this sofa gal, just the sauciest playfight of all time happening] Janis: [we know we're breaking and we do not care, fight us Libi] Jimmy: [proud of you for lasting as long as you did tbh] Janis: [truly, have your lovebite and then some boy] Jimmy: [have to let you hook up here without anyone interrupting you or else you will both die] Janis: [have a quickie guys] Jimmy: [can't be dealing with your bad moods if you don't] Janis: [it has been days, which in your timeline is like nearly half of lmao so] Jimmy: [we all know you're extra] Janis: [gonna have to take Libi back soon gal] Jimmy: [everyone's gonna be gutted to be separated but the lads will walk you back because gentlemanly like that] Jimmy: [but for now have your tea that you're gonna have to put in the microwave because you never touched it] Janis: [my boo says HELLO] Jimmy: [also probably take your face paint off because I dread to think the state of it now] Janis: [the black face energy getting real lmao] Jimmy: [if you don't go do this together and mess about while you do by like having a water fight and only removing bits at a time so you look silly etc then I don't wanna know either of you] Janis: [obviously we must, also I think the bubbys paint should be a little smudged 'cos Libi keeps smooching him like my shameless boo] Jimmy: [so cute and I can imagine JJ just giving each other a look like 😏 because relatable] Janis: [gonna age Tess so hard gal] Jimmy: [be looking like her sim] Janis: [poor tess haha] Jimmy: [I really hope you don't actually put her through it as you're growing up hun, we've been through enough] Janis: [we do need to think about that now you exist in gen 4 kinda but like yeah, arguably we could also do bobby in the first part of the gen, ANYWAY THOUGH] Jimmy: [we could totally do some of them next if you want because we know they are gonna stay friends so] Janis: [cuteness and potential] Jimmy: [anyway is there anything else you wanna have happen before Libi goes home or no?] Janis: [we don't have to do it if you don't wanna but important to note you're obvs sleeping over right] Jimmy: [totally because I still think they should go out even if it's just to his local pub but it could also be in town out depending on the mood though I don't know how you're gonna be like DO YOU WANNA when you're yet again on this doorstep or wherever lol] Janis: [for sure, do something purely 'cos you wanna and there's no excuse or distraction] Jimmy: [exactly, because you obviously haven't yet since she got back] Janis: [or lowkey ever? you might've actually, xmas eve yeah nvm] Jimmy: [could be argued that the pub crawl was for content though whereas they literally don't need to do any more today so] Janis: [mhmm, we've slayed today, you could've gone home hun] Jimmy: [exactly and that's why this is so important but for real I don't know how he's gonna be like do you wanna not go in and come back with me yet again so there's that] Janis: [don't worry, you can probably just hook up and then be like may as well stay] Jimmy: [just throw Bobby at Cass when you get back and then you can leave] Janis: [though it might be a conversation™ 'cos she would go to leave if not immediately 'cos bit rude but early in the AM] Jimmy: [mhmm just gotta make himself too vulnerable by being like no no, hope you're at least a bit drunk guys] Janis: [sure you will be honeys, where do we wanna skip to then] Jimmy: [question is do we wanna do any of this night out and see what happens or just skip to the end? hm Janis: [always fun to do a night out, even if we skip around 'cos a lot of we know the vibe I'm sure but we can see peeps, things can happen, without it being drama central] Jimmy: [no drama please, we're trying to have a nice chill time] Janis: [exactly dr phil, and we can, there's been enough heightened emotions for a while and we've really brushed them under the rug tbh] Jimmy: [hence I'm like we should probably do this night out because when you're drunk stuff might come out] Janis: [pop off and let's ride lads] Jimmy: [the question is lads do you wanna go out out so we can really serve these lewks or stay local so you're less likely to see the world and his wife] Janis: [hmmmmm, I say go to town 'cos xmas eve you stayed local to her so go off] Jimmy: [that is true, lets go with that] Janis: [you can try and get in some of the more iconic dublin pubs and show him the sights so] Jimmy: [yeah because he wouldn't have been because he's only been here for like 2 months now and we know he's antisocial] Janis: [and you are but children, plus going out to drink on your own is depressing soz you can do lots of things alone but not that lbr] Jimmy: [literally he has done nothing since he moved here like we said before so I'm glad you have each other now] Janis: [unlikely we've done it before either 'cos age, like but we'll know where to go] Jimmy: [I vote you have to only order drinks that cliché tourists would] Janis: [really annoying cocktails they hate making etc] Jimmy: [and Guinness like you think you're doing something] Janis: [you'll be so full lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 🤰 Jimmy: 👶'll be 🍀💚🎩🌈 as fuck Janis: if it makes it Janis: 🥴 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 as you, obvs Janis: n'awh Janis: you 👍? Jimmy: I am now you've broke that news Jimmy: 😁 Janis: we're all buzzing Janis: reason to celebrate never needed when you're 🍀💚🎩🌈 but Jimmy: @iantaylor8 🏆 for most chuffed of all about the 🍀💚🎩🌈 bit Jimmy: 🍾🍻 Janis: not yours, basically white Janis: his round then? 😁 Jimmy: we'd need more luck than that to get him to 💰 owt now that 🎄 is done with Jimmy: have to kill and rob him Jimmy: but as far as celebrations go, wouldn't be 👎 Janis: let's come up with plan #2 Janis: we can handle it Jimmy: how does the 👶 wanna do it? all about them now Janis: car bomb, obviously Jimmy: nod to its real dad Janis: pretty sure we did a big 💣 in manchester so ian will be #triggered Jimmy: just keep giving me more and more top news today, you Janis: kind of mate I am Janis: anything to see you 😁 Jimmy: [doing it IRL of course] Janis: [when he still looks good fuming tbh, squishing his face like ugh] Jimmy: [making it into a kissy face like you love me really] Janis: [pushing him away by his face but not as aggressive as that sounds and standing up to get more drinks in as Ian isn't gonna show] Jimmy: [pulls her back not as aggressive as that sounds either lol even though we know she's only leaving to get more drinks] Janis: ['oi!' and a look like whaaaaaa but it's a LOOK] Jimmy: [all the eye contact as he stands up and sit her down in his seat like no no not in your condition I will go] Jimmy: [*** unrelated to what we're doing now but I had an idea that earlier like when Bobby and Libi were doing their goodbyes cos don't need him to translate that Jimothy signed pub? at the bae in irish sign language because he doesn't know much yet and isn't trying hard to learn because he thinks they're gonna leave but he'd have learnt that as a pisstake anyway just wanted to put this here so I didn't forget that lil nugget of info my brain thought up at like 3am***] Janis: [love that for you boy, noted] Janis: [🙄 but loling like alright, if you wanna pay fine by me boy] Jimmy: [signing 'stay' from the bar because I feel like the bubs would've been doing that at Twix and Killer today so we can pretend that's purely pisstakey and no deeper] Janis: [🤨 but in a sassy manner] Janis: coming for my gig now? Jimmy: can't be taking 💰 off you that's 🍼 out the 👶's mouth Janis: you ain't gonna pay for it? Janis: rude Jimmy: OBVS, but I don't reckon 💀👑'll hear and crack on FINALLY 💰 me tips Janis: 💡 Janis: sleep with her dad, tell him it's his Janis: live off that hush 💰 Jimmy: more 🥇💡 DON'T but 🗨 you did after you've put something in his drink/ let him be a massive pisshead on it 'cause you understand him unlike his missus Jimmy: all we've faked up to now, DNA test'd be piss easy Janis: just have to snatch a bit of 💀👑's hair Janis: not hard Janis: saliva and we'd be fucked, dunno if she produces that any more Jimmy: have to hurry while she's still got hair Janis: bet #2 has some Jimmy: go round hers in a bit, can't wait, me Jimmy: 💭 if we found out 💀👑 weren't his Jimmy: they'd both be SO 💔🎻😭 to have to dump each other Janis: I wish Janis: only my family giving that level of drama Jimmy: 💔 you can't use 😭 to do a test, I'd have got Ian to crack on ages ago Janis: whoever's your dad is also Bobby's, that's for sure Jimmy: probably is him then, he ain't the sort to let his missus have bloke mates hanging round that long Janis: soz, mate Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: be a 🥇 looking 👶 at least Jimmy: all our shit parents got that bit right Janis: guess so Janis: tah for the genetics, I'll take it from here Jimmy: [bring those drinks boy and obvs get her up so you can sit back down in your seat and she can sit on you] Janis: [forever and always even though the eye contact it demands is cray, just smiling and drinking our drink] Jimmy: [likewise but also just doodling on her skin absentmindedly because we're in love and probably a bit drunk by now assumedly] Janis: ['you could do that for a job' we mean tattooist but that isn't very clear gal so we must be a lil tipsy] Jimmy: [shoutout to your future child, love that but obvs he's like ? and draws it on her] Janis: [just like ugh at ourselves 'tattoos and shit, you know' shrugs 'you got a plan?'] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we haven't let ourselves think about the future for so many reasons 'do you?'] Janis: ['nah' shakes head 'but I'll get by, don't need more, like'] Jimmy: [nodding because we get it and doing a cheers with this drink] Janis: [drink to that lads 'if anything, easier to walk dogs when I've got a car'] Jimmy: ['any time you wanna borrow Ian's, crack on' we're just thinking that he's too happy and settled rn and we need to annoy him more lol] Janis: [😏 and cheersing again like tah] Jimmy: number of 🐕s, should probably nick a 🚍 instead though Janis: can do that too Jimmy: can 😴 there an' all if you need to Jimmy: stretch out Janis: living in one seems like something my ma'd do though Janis: ❌ Jimmy: bet your shit nan's church group'd have their 👀 on it Janis: [visibly 😒] Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: [a lil feelsy lean like soz because we know she sucks even if we don't know what happened] Janis: [using it to push him off in a jokey get off kinda way, like you ain't sat on him rn] Jimmy: [messing about like you're both gonna dramatically fall off this chair but then lowkey hurting himself a lil bit though we're obvs playing that off as fake too but it's real because yet again we've had a very busy day and done so much as if we're perfectly fine] Janis: [picking him back up and steadying him like you okay boy? and nudging his drink towards his lips like that'll help] Jimmy: [down that drink boy] Janis: [just lowkey having a feel of his stomach/ribs etc like you gotta check] Jimmy: [😏 cos we're pretending she's doing it to flirt with us obvs like she just can't keep her hands to herself ever which is true but also shh sir] Janis: [going with it 'cos not not true and we know it makes him awks but we still wanna] Jimmy: [kissing her because we always just want to] Janis: [have this makeout sesh whilst giving him a massage casually] Jimmy: [excuse us people in this pub] Janis: [looks dodgier than it is frankly] Jimmy: [love how shameless you both are and how often you just behave like you're the only two people around] Janis: [we're so unbothered by other people unless they're really in our faces about it] Jimmy: [mhmm hence we're just saying we missed her and how much in between kisses because we have and we're obvs so into everything she's doing rn] Janis: ['did you?' 'cos 'course we don't believe him/it] Jimmy: [stop kissing her for long enough you can hold that eye contact so she knows you mean it but then kiss her more intensely obvs] Janis: [going in even harder 'cos definition of !!! about it] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's deserved and needed and it'll shut him up from saying any more for a sec] Janis: [saying nothing in this pub but people should do something/be staring or say something so we can move huuuuuuuun] Jimmy: [that's realistic so yes] Janis: [we going about this town] Jimmy: [twirl her like you would've done when you were at this kid's party earlier please boy] Janis: [dance down these streets but don't fall tah] Jimmy: [and don't knock into anyone either because we don't need that drama] Janis: [no fighting shakira shakira] Jimmy: [not tonight thank you] Janis: [we gotta get drunk and spill secrets] Jimmy: [confess as many feelings as we dare] Janis: [heheheh, getting shots in that vein] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: 🥃🥃🥃 Jimmy: 🥳🥳🥳 Janis: partying for 2 Jimmy: remind me to @ Asia 7 years from now to let her know how to throw a 🎁🎂🎈 that ain't all 💅💄 Janis: you ain't bad at face painting Janis: can have that Jimmy: tah very much Jimmy: be alright as long as Libi don't have me doing it whenever I see her Jimmy: be a bit weird if I have to carry a full face painting kit about Janis: you don't need to be that whipped Janis: won't hurt her to hear a nah every once and a while Jimmy: no need to be jealous, Jules Jimmy: you're still my muse Janis: piss off Jimmy: I'll 🥺🥺 for 2 if you make me Janis: go ahead Jimmy: [does] Janis: [regret 'cos we feeling all the things now] Jimmy: [carve that JJ love heart into the pub table like see you're my muse and ILY] Janis: [just tracing our finger round and round this heart] Jimmy: [literally is about to draw a heart on her and I'm like boy stop] Janis: ['your ex really cheat on you?' like why would he lie, but can't believe it] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' because genuinely not something he expected her to ask rn] Janis: [a shrug like soz 'just what I was thinking about'] Jimmy: [a nudge but a gentle one 'what you thinking about her for?' sir she's thinking about you] Janis: [tuts like ugh, making me explain myself, how rude lol 'are you a shit real boyfriend or what?' like why would she if you were how you're faking now] Jimmy: [a shrug like 1. probably because the messy time after his mum disappeared 2. they were young af and neither of them had good role models clearly but we don't wanna really get into either of those things 'depends on the scale' like compared to who hun because lbr not an Ian or Mia's dad but we weren't #goals] Janis: [nods like we get it 'cos we do even though not personally like that might suggest, the shakes her head like let's move on 'cos accidentally brought the vibe down and we didn't mean to 'whatever, none of my business'] Jimmy: [leaves the ex's @ in this chat whatever it is like @ her for her POV if you like but irl we're shrugging again because we're so over her just not the mum mems of that era] Janis: 🤐 Janis: [dranking this drank faster] Jimmy: [nudges her like hey it's alright] Jimmy: *🔊 Janis: [😏 'not there yet' like let's go back to bants] Jimmy: where are you then? Janis: 🥺 of course Janis: you're quite inspiring too Jimmy: show me Janis: [😳 and can't do it back 'cos now we've got the giggles like stop it] Janis: can't just 👏 like Jimmy: [we're just 😍 af because she's adorable bye] Jimmy: alright, if there's no 👏 have to take back that 🌹 and your 🏆s Jimmy: go together them Janis: well now I'm 😠 Janis: [does that instead] Jimmy: [does a 📷 mime and then wordlessly goes to get her some kind of forfeit drink for not being oscar worthy af] Janis: [doing it now he's further away 'cos easier] Jimmy: you're rude, said it earlier Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [points] Jimmy: [signs it which I lowkey do think is just a point but anyway] Janis: 👆 Janis: the point emojis are crap Jimmy: 💔 Janis: looks more come here Janis: which don't not work rn but Jimmy: but do come here Janis: [making our way over, of course] Jimmy: [checking her out as she does obvs and when she does get there gesturing like get this barman's attention please because it's busy but she's a hot girl so she'll have more luck] Janis: [do the least to do the most such is your privilege babe] Jimmy: [kiss her like thank you because we weren't trying to stand there all night] Janis: [the barman like aw lmao] Jimmy: #👻problems Janis: #🍆problems Jimmy: fuming if it's a not a lass serving next Janis: fuming if it is, obvs Jimmy: if you're 😠 again, I'll be back at chuffed to bits Jimmy: so cute Janis: [fake punches him] Jimmy: [writes hate across her knuckles because I am not letting you write love boy stop it] Janis: [takes off the e by pretending to cut off the pinky] Jimmy: [😏 and draws the 🎩 on the back of her hand for that irish af vibe] Janis: [writes 'pot' on the other hand like there you go, pot of gold too] Jimmy: [draw a 🌈 on that one and 💰] Janis: [lols like lovely 'told you you had a future in it'] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we can't take a compliment] Jimmy: you gonna name this 👶 something I can't pronounce or what? Janis: [raising our brows sassily like not hard] Janis: you can name it Janis: guilt trip move Jimmy: 🤔🤔💭 Jimmy: What's Mia's daddy's name? Jimmy: got a lie to sell here Janis: 🤔 Janis: maybe Michael or something, idk Janis: Miles Jimmy: Miley he'll love that Janis: meet your new sister Mia Jimmy: sister and step mum Janis: not even weird for me Jimmy: Libi must've missed that bit when she were doing the family tree Janis: thank fuck Janis: only so much you need to hear Jimmy: what were it you said about my ages old 💔? Jimmy: nowt to do with me, that Janis: nor me Jimmy: I told you before, up to you what you wanna 🗨 Janis: you pick Jimmy: your full list's all I want Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [one back always] Jimmy: you owe me the one Janis: true Janis: remind me what I've said Jimmy: 1. 🚬👃 2. 🎤🗨 3. 💋 4. 🖕✌️🤟 is a might be, you never said it were or weren't for definite 5. 🤝 6. 💫 dunno what else to do for freckles so Janis: [impressed he remembered 'cos obviously did not just look through like my boo just had to lol] Janis: don't wanna repeat, wouldn't be fair Jimmy: [when it's really important to you because you literally told her in that convo that nobody has ever been this nice to you and it's obvs true] Jimmy: so go on Janis: it's unfair you took 👀s Janis: when yours are like ☀️ Janis: but I like your brows too Jimmy: you're ☀ Jimmy: and you know I'm fuming you took 💋 an' all Jimmy: but we've both got smell on there so I'm not gonna stop you rating what you rate Janis: take it as a whole Janis: you have pretty lashes too Janis: it's Jimmy: that'll get out of hand when I just say your entire face Jimmy: or your whole body Janis: everything about you Jimmy: that an' all Janis: [and I oop, just like our drink looks so interesting rn because dying] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' because of course like 👀 at me] Janis: [you gotta look up gal 'yeah?' also soft] Jimmy: [gestures at her to come here like you literally didn't just get kicked out of a pub for this] Janis: [do though who are we] Jimmy: [we're softly but insistently kissing the bae's throat like we can coax words out cos so much we wanna say and so much we wanna hear] Janis: [the noise we are making, running our hands through his hair goes to gripping it 'you're not-' 'I'm supposed-' can we finish a sentence? no] Jimmy: [just doing it again like do you wanna finish a sentence gal and not at all because of her other reaction of course not] Janis: ['stop it' but in the most don't stop tone imaginable 'cos at least that's a sentence] Jimmy: [we're not but we are smooching the side of her neck instead] Janis: ['coming for my gig again' and moving to the side so you've gotta smooch for reals] Jimmy: [have a lil make out lads] Janis: [again lollol] Jimmy: [can't and won't be tamed, we're doing what we want tonight] Janis: [speaking of, you should get some good scran, idk what but I'm sure there's some bomb takeout vibes] Jimmy: [definitely, I doubt there was much savoury food at that party] Janis: [you can walk n eat n mayhaps talk hmm] Jimmy: [and snuggle because it's probably cold] Janis: [even if it's stopped snowing, deffo] Jimmy: [obvs just nudging her as you go along like you alright? because this boy loves checking in] Janis: [nudges him back like aren't you?] Jimmy: [smiling because we're having a lovely time] Janis: [😍 'good'] Jimmy: [😍 and doing the handhold swingy thing as we walk] Janis: ['you're alright, you know, not boring' just sounds like you thought he was but we mean in comparison to other peeps] Jimmy: ['when did you reckon I were boring? but we're amused 'bit rude'] Janis: [a face like oi but also amused 'no, I just didn't know you weren't before'] Jimmy: ['I knew you weren't' which makes you sound like a stalker or something lol but we're too drunk to think that through clearly] Janis: ['no you didn't' not just to be contrary we're just like lies lmao] Jimmy: [his own oi face 'wouldn't have picked you if I didn't' because true] Janis: [just narrowing our eyes like suspish but okay 'well I knew you didn't chat shit constantly, or try hard like most lads do' shrugs like bitch I noticed you too] Jimmy: [🤐 mime like well yeah I don't say anything and shrugging back 'no need' because he doesn't feel like he has anything to brag about genuinely and obvs we don't have any reason to try hard for the people we don't care about] Janis: [just gesturing like yes, my point exactly 'don't stop 'em, does it'] Jimmy: [gets out the phone we've literally not looked at all night, frowns at it and puts it back without actually bothering to do anything except make a point 'the lasses either, but that's not the kind of dickheads we are'] Janis: [shakes her head like no we are not and puts her hand out for him to shake] Jimmy: [does and then does pull her in for a hug because always 'chuffed it were you' from within this hug] Janis: ['we've done a good job' also from within the hug] Jimmy: [shaking his head because we don't wanna call it a job when literally you always do sir and also that now looks like you don't think this is going well] Janis: [looking at him when you pull back like ? because how it looks] Jimmy: ['not just a shift I'm putting in, you'] Janis: ['I dunno why I had a go about that' just like how cringe of me to show I gave a shit ugh] Jimmy: ['don't you?' and a shrug 'alright then' like oh are we just pretending we don't give a shit tonight okay cos we're sassy] Janis: [little lol 'don't take the piss' 'you know what I mean. meant. whatever'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like me that' 😏 because she literally said he's not a dickhead but he takes the piss] Janis: [getting SO close and making him stop walking so you can whisper in his ear 'it sounds exactly like you' and nipping his earlobe when you say 'sounds'] Jimmy: [saying 'fuck' with SO much feeling how they do] Janis: [nods like that's what I want to and looks around like we picked the wrong location lol] Jimmy: [looks in the direction they'd have to go to retrace their steps like if you wanna go we can go because Ian's stash forever] Janis: [follows his gaze like we could but eventually shakes her head 'we've got time, more places you need to see first if you wanna be a proper tourist'] Jimmy: [nods because 🥇 or nowt is the mantra but we're kissing her really hard first so she knows we're not just chill and we feel the tension and want the same things] Janis: [have your moment and take one before the next location] Jimmy: [for once I doubt you're the only peeps being extra at least such are the joys of town] Janis: [people always cracking on you're fine, even if you cared, which we are far beyond] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [full drunk by now, never mind all our feels] Jimmy: [they should go somewhere they can do some grooving because not something they've done a lot of because of her ankle happening] Janis: [good thinking boo, hit the clerb, whole different vibe] Jimmy: [how cinematic when juxtaposed against the dancing at the kids party earlier lol] Janis: [day and night honey] Jimmy: [another good excuse for more shots because you can't dance and hold a big drink] Janis: [ooh, maybe Harry could be there Janis: we can just see and ignore him but intro that 'cos haven't yey] Jimmy: [I just nearly gasped because yes we do need to do that before all the sports stuff starts and she runs into him in a way she can't swerve] Janis: [it seems legit you could be out with your mates boy, you could be a bit older/look it too, it's believable you ain't the gals, maybe if she's getting drinks or Jimmy is he can come up but it'll look like just another random tryna hit her up] Jimmy: [that seems legit to me too] Janis: [but obviously it'd put her in some type of mood] Jimmy: [might also open a line of dialogue though so] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [what way round do you wanna do it because obvs if he goes to get drinks and comes back to find them talking or whatever he'll be like bitch excuse me but if she was getting drinks and runs into him that way he won't even see Harry/know about that interaction] Janis: [maybe he goes to get them, it makes it easier, even if Harry literally walks away as he comes back 'cos that kind of snekk, he'd still see but they always getting hit on so he wouldn't assume that was responsible and be like oh I get it, yknow] Jimmy: [he'll just be like 🤨 looking him over as Harry walks away but yeah not concerned and more jokey because it does happen always and he knows she can handle it] Janis: [just 😒 watching him go] Jimmy: [handing her these shots because we just think like we said he's a stranger and she'll be over it in a sec] Janis: [down it with vigour hun] Jimmy: [likewise because that's just how shots are, you gotta go in] Janis: [ick] Jimmy: [have never enjoyed a single one I've ever had but they are not J potato] Janis: [who is babe, go get your groove on aggressively] Jimmy: [hope it's not a slow jam and I especially hope Harry is not also hitting the dancefloor with some gal] Janis: [oh lawd, we're not doing that cliche of catching eyes dancing with other people boy, I think not] Jimmy: [you think you're that important Harold but you're honestly not] Janis: [accidentally making him think you're that into him, nah] Jimmy: [but anyway I shall start a convo when we've been dancing for an age and you're clearly still 😒 hun] Jimmy: What? Janis: what do you mean what? Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: what do you reckon makes clubs smell so bad Janis: apart from all the sweat, that's obvious Jimmy: answer me, dickhead Janis: I'm alright, seriously Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ugh Janis: it's nothing though Jimmy: *something Jimmy: you wanna go outside? Janis: [mimes 🚬] Janis: sure Jimmy: [taking her hand like let's go] Janis: [smoking area moment, not like you'll be alone they're always packed] Jimmy: [lighting you both up and giving her a sec] Janis: ['just know that lad' shrugging like that explains that] Jimmy: ['and what?' because we're not letting it just drop] Janis: [after a while thinking and stopping and starting 'and- everyone else is a dickhead, yeah'] Jimmy: how much of a dickhead is he? Janis: no more than average, I suppose Janis: 💪🍆🔥👑 Janis: you know the sort Jimmy: yeah, what I dunno is why you're so bothered Janis: just didn't fancy seeing anyone I knew out Jimmy: you barely did do Janis: then let's go somewhere else after this Janis: forget about it Janis: [smiling at him like it's not fake but we're forcing this vibe rn] Jimmy: can you? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry Janis: he's just some twat Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's alright Janis: its not Janis: we're having a nice time Janis: meant to be Jimmy: I meant, he's doing your head in, you're not doing in mine Jimmy: we're alright Jimmy: nice is a bit rude though, as descriptions go Janis: [a LOOK up like 😏] Janis: how'd you describe it then Jimmy: not like we're sat in having a ☕🍪 with our kid and his missus Jimmy: but if you need a review then Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that'd be it Janis: are you saying that's the definition of nice or a better time Janis: either way I have some questions Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: it's obvs the definition of nice 👵👴💕 Janis: [shakes head as we get up like oh you 'leave you to it then'] Jimmy: [not letting you go gal putting his arms around her like no no 'Oi, I just gave you a top review, what more do you want?'] Janis: ['can always do better' and taking his hand like let's go, stay outta our way Hazza we got places to be] Jimmy: ['than you rating me boring and nice, yeah' but we're amused of course and doing another twirl as we go] Janis: ['I did not!' and a pouty face like how dare YOU suggest I did] Jimmy: [thank god we can do the pouty lip thing this time and nothing can stop us] Janis: [freedom] Jimmy: [You're welcome lads] Janis: [y'all can do what you want like going to the toilets and living that cliche moment] Jimmy: [not the first time, we all remember pub crawl, but it would be busier so pluses and minuses to that] Janis: [we gotta for a myriad of reasons still not about you though Harry but you've put us in a mood to prove some things so tah] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [get out of this clerb and into a different one, better or worse, idk what's more fun tbh] Jimmy: [again it's not about you Harold] Janis: [soz we have such a dramatic reaction to seeing you lmao like hell to the no] Jimmy: [it's deserved you're not a good egg] Janis: [we'd be more chill if we weren't drunk, like he's just gonna come over and ruin everything, he might try tbf, run lads and continue grooving] Jimmy: [we're on a touristy tour here sir gotta move along] Janis: [you are not invited good day, back on the shots shots shots] Jimmy: [don't at all look forward to seeing you soon hun] Janis: [at least we're not doing the grace of it all now, although, continuously triggering everyone 'cos that's what they think Liam did with Edie to be around Rio, which yeah at first but shh] Jimmy: [the temptation to do that again now you've said that lol] Janis: [yeah, it came to me as I typed it lol] Jimmy: [fuck it let's do it, we can totally make him her baby daddy for that hot sec to really trigger everyone haha] Janis: [no offence to your barrenness but THANK GOD don't actually need babies from lies] Jimmy: [I can't do that to you gal even if we could] Janis: [would not be cute, he'd be tryna pay for your abortion like] Jimmy: [it's so far from #goals as is nobody needs that] Janis: [it's even worse than drew and caleb soz my love but no, hence ali had to be like no no in that convo we did when we did it before] Jimmy: [but what if that's when she gets her nose ring because it's like a Cameron trying to get Nicki to wear Chloe's lipstick situation!] Janis: [🤢 OMG, you can use all the really tryhard stuff of late, like, we know you would babe] Jimmy: [Sammi's moment of trying to be black will actually be useful to me, who knew] Janis: [just thinking about the wurls wig and dying 'cos it looked so bad oh gal] Jimmy: [HARD SAME] Janis: [and I oop, we're gonna lose our mind with you] Jimmy: [the drama] Janis: [oh lord] Jimmy: [anyways back to this, do you wanna do a skip or have you got things you wanna have happen rn off the back of this Harry situation?] Janis: [we can probably skip to going home even? we know how the nights gonna go and it'll be fun and feelsy but that's the STAY of it all] Jimmy: [true I just didn't wanna rush you gal if you had stuff you wanted to say or do before that so] Janis: [nah we good I just wanted to establish him so when he crops back up later we've got this vague memory like oh] Jimmy: [it was a good way to do it boo, good thinking] Janis: [big brain booty] Janis: [where would you like to hook up/where are you then gonna try to leave from] Jimmy: [do you wanna be at his gaff or are you thinking before they get there?] Janis: [his makes sense for going to mcvickers after] Jimmy: [be having a nightcap and all the sauciness that entails but then try and leave gal] Janis: [like gotta go before anyone wakes, sure you're being well loud tbh lads but okay] Jimmy: [as excuses go a very legit one and also the bubs do wake up well early like what time even is it] Janis: [but also who cares you've been on a minibreak together] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [baby its cold outside Jimmy: [what's your vibe like is she gonna say anything or is she just casually getting ready to leave?] Janis: [I think just getting ready when she thinks he's passed out but we're drunk so we're clearly not making a good go of doing it stealth here lol] Jimmy: [obvs gonna chuck something at her then like excuse you] Janis: [#shooketh and thus doing angry whispers 'what was that for dickhead?!'] Jimmy: ['where you going?' as if that's not obvious because we're drunk so it's not] Janis: [dramatically shushing him which in itself is louder than you're being already probs 'trying not to wake anybody up here'] Jimmy: [a sarcastic but amused 👍 because that's going well and then repeating our question] Janis: [throwing whatever he threw at us back like don't be fucking rude 'home' which you gotta stop saying when you mean mcvickers 'cos sounds like you planning to trek] Jimmy: [catching it and being really proud of ourselves with our expression but then frowning because we do think she means she's going home 'you're not, there's no buses for ages' because again what weird am is this lol] Janis: [😏 and a sassy fake clap for him 'Oh, I mean my nans' like my bad 'before he's getting up for work or...whatever'] Jimmy: [dramatically shushing her for the clap like she did to him a sec ago 'it's the weekend' because it is 'only dickheads like us do Sundays'] Janis: ['oh' when you genuinely forgot but now it seems like you lyin' lmao] Jimmy: [when you get up v dramatically to be up in her grill like 👀 cos are you lying gal but when we're standing there we just get distracted by like moving her hair out of her face and fixing her clothes and generally being soft and close and helpful] Janis: ['you-' and then getting distracted by his lack of clothing for a sec like oh '-you don't have to be nice, you know'] Jimmy: ['stop calling me nice, dickhead' but softer than the words suggest and not just because we are this close and whispering] Janis: ['stop being nice then' in a challenge type of way] Jimmy: [push her back onto this bed boy but in a hot way not a dangerous one] Janis: [definition of that 😈 tbh] Jimmy: [whatever she's managed to put on he's taking off, RIP to this dress or whatever if you don't survive] Janis: [running our fingers through his hair again for the throwback to earlier 'you're SO nice, baby'] Jimmy: [giving her a massive lovebite near to wherever he did that first one way earlier and going as hard for that throwback as well because we're 😈 ] Janis: [when you're egging him on telling him how nice he is over and over but then you do the biggest gasp] Jimmy: [going over the OG one as well because it's right there tempting us 'I'll do whatever you want for as long as you're here, nice, not nice, owt else' like don't go gal] Janis: [just about getting out 'but what do you want?'] Jimmy: ['you' because true and we're drunk so we can answer a question 'I keep saying I don't want you to go anywhere' because he literally said it on the school trip in those words when they were doing an activity and having a little domestic and god knows how many times we've either said it or tried to make it clear since] Janis: ['me...' which we ALMOST phrase as a question, such is our disbelief/how much we've been caught off guard by that despite how obvious it is to us all but it's okay catch up gal 'and I keep saying you can have me' because we have and we mean it] Jimmy: ['you say it but then you- look and gesture towards the door like you were literally trying to leave and you know we're thinking about when she properly left] Janis: ['I never wanna stay if you want me to leave' a pause like I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense now you've said that but 'because I wanna be with you a lot...like all the fucking time and-'] Jimmy: ['I don't want either of us to leave' the tea and also how sad and soft his voice would be about that because we think it's looming over us 'if I had any fucking choice, I'd pick this, just give me the same back'] Janis: [kissing him hard, but not JUST kissing him like we usually would when we can't say what we want/don't know what to say 'okay' just as sad but serious like this ain't no game 'I'm scared but okay'] Jimmy: [holding her but not JUST how he would when he doesn't want her to go 'it's alright, when you're about, I'm not' like you can be scared gal cos I feel safe with you and it's the only time I ever do so I've got this] Janis: ['that's why I am' from deep inside this hug like we barely saying it but we are] Jimmy: ['bit of pressure, I get it' because we know we're saying there that everything else is shit and you're the only good thing keeping us going and that's a lot] Janis: [shaking our head 'I mean-' big sigh 'cos even if we're drunk it's a lot to say '-the more amazing it is now, the more there's going to be to miss'] Jimmy: ['there were loads to miss ages ago' because lbr the moment you started this you were in too deep and deeper than you've been with anyone else 'it weren't like owt else I've felt kissing any other lass soon as we had that first go at it' drunkenly spilling that tea] Janis: ['Ive never felt anything before' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['alright, no need to one up me that hard' cos you don't believe that's even possible lowkey when she clearly feels so much with you] Janis: [soft nudge 'I can't help the truth'] Jimmy: [one back obvs 'as competitions go, not fuming to lose this one'] Janis: ['I have kissed other people' like don't think he thought you were saying that but okay] Jimmy: [a sound like yeah obvs/no shit because we weren't thinking that 'but they were shitter at it than whatever review of me you're gonna @ my ex for, I get it' because not letting go that she brought that up but we're not mad about it still just amused] Janis: ['must be' shrugs 'knock to the ego can't hurt' not gonna go drunk text him the shade though tah 'was not, I was just asking a question' like stop it but we're not mad really] Jimmy: ['I don't care about how them dickheads feel, her included, just you'] Janis: [smile 'I can get behind that'] Jimmy: [smile back 😍] Janis: ['you're the cutest person I've ever seen' and putting our fingers in his dimples like oop] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we can't help even as we shake our head because no gal you are 'need to look in the mirror more, you'] Jimmy: [lowkey trying to drag her to where the nearest mirror is like is that even this room or are you trying to go to the bathroom? boy shh] Janis: [don't actually wake this bub you're lowkey too drunk to deal with him boy, 'cos we're so amused and playfighting him as silently as we can like noooo 'you you you'] Jimmy: [thank god we made him deaf because Libi would 1000% be awake by now lol, just drunkenly taking so many pictures of her face and so many weird close ups as we playfight and showing her them all like no look it's you] Janis: [just a fight to delete them as if 1. you look bad in any really 2. he's just gonna post them all rn] Jimmy: [we know you just wanna fight so he can pin you again for that saucy throwback] Janis: [obvs, we do not need to deny] Jimmy: [we'll let you have that moment and ensuing hook up during which you can call her baby in a way that is not at all a pisstake for the first time because we're drunk and feelsy enough for this] Janis: [just die bye, safe to say you won't be trying to go anywhere after that] Jimmy: [you gotta snuggle and snooze and be happy]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Janis & Grace

Janis: [Later AM after] Janis: so what's the scoop Janis: did it work Grace: OMG so you're talking to me now? Janis: what can I say Janis: giving you time and space to get busy 👌 Grace: EW Grace: giving it to yourself babes 👌 Grace: but now you've worn him out, yeah? Janis: Hush Janis: this is your debrief, what you wasting time talking 'bout me for Janis: usually LOVE to chat on yourself, like 😏 Grace: duh it's waaaaaaaaaaaay more interesting Grace: I know how my night went Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: that good, yeah? Janis: he was actually unbearable Grace: that predictable Grace: boys always are Grace: I TOLD YOU! ugh Janis: well he obvs had his reasons for being there Janis: bet he was so butthurt Grace: honestly! he's sent me so many texts Grace: boy stop I'm taking the longest shower of my life & you aren't invited Janis: gross Janis: just her type Grace: OMG she's 😠😠😠 Grace: I can't even be annoyed at you for leaving & leaving me muted cos you two really went off 👏 Janis: Good Janis: she deserves it Janis: also glad it weren't a wasted evening 'cos not getting that time/braincells back, thanks ryan 😒 Grace: IKR Grace: living only for the content I can get out of him 🙄🙄 Janis: never off, you Grace: I don't have a cute white boy distracting me rn so sorry Janis: 💔💔 Janis: erm, tell mum and dad i'm going away for a bit will you Janis: cba Grace: LITERALLY Grace: it's tragic Grace: UM EXCUSE YOU WHAT? Grace: where are you going?? Janis: my heart bleeds for you, babe 😂 Janis: idk yet just away for a bit before dreaded School Grace: no it does not 🙄🙄 Grace: ugh that's so unfair Janis: this town is awash with 'em Janis: not all dick is attached to bigger dickheads, like Grace: OMG your boyfriend gave me that same speech Grace: 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: rehearsed that, like 😑 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: are you literally going now?? Janis: oh yeah Janis: can you babysit Janis: meant to ask Grace: I repeat Grace: like now??! Or Janis: how many days we got left off? Grace: 2 if you're coming back when school starts Grace: but like why would you Janis: exactly Janis: so can ya then, only need to do it 'til they're back at School Grace: the sister too? Janis: she'll probably do her own thing, that's cool Janis: mainly the boy Grace: Phew! Grace: I can already tell she's not gonna like me Grace: 😱😱 Grace: but sure I said I would Janis: don't take it personal Janis: 👍 Janis: tell you when we're actually gone Grace: okay babes Grace: what's the deal with his dad tho Grace: I don't need that drama Janis: he's just a prick but he'll be at work Janis: I'll get Cass to agree to be back 'fore he is and you'll be sound Grace: sounds like just my type Grace: so that shouldn't be a problem Janis: 💀 Janis: I think not Grace: oh please I'm joking Grace: not THAT desperate Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: oh good, can stop moaning 'bout it then 😏 Grace: you're so rude Grace: I haven't even said anything Janis: I'm joking Janis: although Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: sure biitch Grace: Mia's been defeated you don't have to be nice to me anymore Grace: not that you were Janis: charming Janis: she's a 🐍 Janis: gotta cut her into at least 7 parts 'fore she's actually dead init Grace: duh Grace: but who has the time or the energy Janis: you 'til you find a white boy, apparently Grace: excuse you, you don't even believe I can count to 7 Grace: & I said CUTE there are white boys everywhere Grace: but that's like 🦄 Janis: know your standards aren't that high Grace: UM how dare you Janis: 😂 Janis: tell me I'm wrong Grace: I brought my ex to one party let me live Grace: & he brought me really so Grace: ugh Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: what were you thinking Grace: I obvs wasn't Grace: he got me so drunk 🙄 Janis: he didn't just drop by of his own volition Janis: you were already pissed so Grace: CAN you NOT judge me thanks Grace: & don't even I was not Janis: yes you were Janis: don't lie Grace: OMG Grace: stop calling me a liar Grace: you always do Janis: well why bother Janis: you clearly were, I was talking to you Janis: it's more embarrassing acting like that was you sober Grace: why what did I do? Janis: at the party or in the conversation Janis: either way, don't matter now Grace: well it does if you're holding so much cringe against me or something Grace: what did I say before? obvs I was drunk at the party I said so Janis: nah, I ain't Janis: nothing you wouldn't say sober no doubt Grace: ugh fine Janis: why you wanna know so bad Janis: scroll if you wanna 💀 Grace: cos you're being a bitch to me over it Janis: 🙄 Janis: ain't I always Janis: what's new Grace: exactly Grace: so boring Grace: I'm sure there's something I've done more recently you can call me out over Janis: 💔 Janis: why would I do that Grace: you literally just said Grace: you always do Grace: what's new, babes Janis: nah Janis: I'd have to care, like you said, you're on mute Janis: you just like to feel #attacked Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: not today tho Grace: not now you need something Janis: ain't me Janis: you owe, we're cashing in Janis: simple as Grace: I don't owe you anything & you still want me to tell mum & dad for you Janis: don't then Janis: I don't care Grace: obvs Janis: what's your point Grace: my point is & was I was being nice to you Grace: & you're rude Janis: No, you weren't Janis: and you never are Janis: so likewise Grace: who's feeling #attacked now, hun Grace: cos I literally was Janis: so nice Janis: wow Janis: miss congeniality Janis: been friends with them too long, you've got no idea how to be nice, or what that even is Grace: I've got no idea how to talk to you cos I'm always on mute Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: doesn't stop you Janis: God loves a trier Grace: well excuse me Grace: I won't talk to you then fine Janis: okiedokie Janis: later Grace: just tell me when you're going Grace: or get your boyfriend to Janis: obviously Janis: I already said Grace: are you gonna tell mum & dad? Janis: no Janis: why would i Grace: cos they'll freak out if you just vanish duh Grace: send a text it's not like it's hard Janis: if you're concerned do it yourself Grace: OMG Grace: we literally have the chillest parents ever why do you want them to freak out Janis: if they're so chill then what's the issue Grace: you know what the issue is Grace: do you wanna be her now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Janis: never did fuck all to know where she was so it'll be fine Grace: that's not even close to being true Grace: they looked for her all the time Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what, like it was hard Janis: sure Grace: what like it's hard to just tell them you're going? Grace: just stop being such a bitch Janis: nah Janis: just chill out, if you wanna bum 'em so hard Grace: I'm trying to help you, bitch Grace: ugh Janis: sure Janis: i'm doing what i want so how'd you work that one out Grace: sorry your boyfriend is apparently so boring you need the drama Grace: OMG Janis: what drama Janis: they're so chill so cool wow Janis: so lucky Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: get over it, grace, no one else gives a shit Grace: get over yourself first Grace: cos yeah they do Janis: wow parents of the year Janis: why don't you make them an award Grace: shut up Janis: when you're the only one that still cares and you still aren't the favourite Janis: sad times Grace: Rio's always gonna be the fave Grace: duh Janis: gotta make it seem intentional Grace: whatever Grace: I'm not bored enough ever to talk about our family dysfunction for this amount of time so Janis: piss off then? Janis: literally never trying to talk to any of you, least of all you Grace: you popped up in my inbox babes Grace: but nice try Janis: to cash a favour Janis: but good one Grace: you could have done that in 1 line Grace: why are you still here? Janis: omg please tell mummy and daddy Grace: please go away Janis: devastating Janis: so nice, you Janis: as nice as they are chill 🤞 Grace: you've told me repeatedly how nice I'm not Grace: so enjoy being right Janis: oh babes Janis: is sarcasm really lost on you Janis: genuinely didn't think you were that thick, awkward Grace: yeah sure tell me how stupid I am again Grace: we've reached that point in the convo Grace: fabulous Janis: Gotta try and make it stick Janis: working with with you're giving me here, very little Grace: why? you don't care & you never wanna talk to me so Janis: common good Janis: counts as community service Grace: sure Janis: are you so deluded you think I talk to you for some sense of fun Grace: I don't actually spend time trying to think about why you do anything anymore, babes Janis: 👌 Janis: dead convincing that Grace: too stupid to figure you out obvs Janis: awh Janis: too much of a cunt to care, more like it Grace: I care Grace: & according to you too much Grace: so like ?? Grace: try making sense Janis: try keeping up Janis: know the synapses are signed but come on Janis: singed* Grace: I just can't keep up with you, hun Grace: you're miles ahead duh Janis: does that make you feel good about yourself, yeah? Grace: oh please Grace: I never feel good about myself & we've covered that Janis: ugh shut up Janis: whine whine whine Janis: no wonder your ex would rather be looking at himself Grace: you wanna slag me off but I can't join in? Grace: typical Janis: we've all heard it a billion times Grace: same goes for everything you're saying rn so Grace: I've heard it more than a billion times from you Janis: and what? Janis: I don't care about your feelings, or how bored you pretend to be, is what you fail to grasp Grace: obvs Grace: tell me a few more times how much you don't care, yeah? Janis: I will Janis: there's literally nothing you can say, why are you still here Grace: Then stop talking to me OMG Janis: no Janis: make me Grace: I obvs can't Janis: yet I can ignore you, craziness Janis: that's what's so funny Grace: 👏 Grace: mhmm so funny that you don't care about anything but I care about you Grace: sure Janis: now you're getting it Grace: maybe I'm not entirely stupid Grace: phew Grace: what a relief like Janis: let's not get carried away Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: cute though Grace: thanks so much Janis: do as you want anyway, tell 'em I've started on the meth if you reckon it'll kick 'em into action Grace: I'm not telling them anything Janis: good, we're on the same page for once Janis: hooray Grace: 👏 Janis: 🙌🎉 Grace: [is ignoring] Janis: [emojibombs her to blow her phone up] Grace: [somehow ignoring how annoying that is] Janis: can you tell your friend to get out my inbox Grace: no Janis: 🙄 Janis: save the backbone for her she's slagging you off Grace: I'm sure she is Janis: not Mia Janis: the other one Grace: like I said, I'm sure she is Janis: fuck's sake Janis: not much use alive are you Grace: not to you obvs Grace: mute her it's not difficult Janis: not to them if you aren't gonna play the game Janis: sort it out Grace: what do you think the game is? Grace: I annoyed Mia, as planned, of course they're all slagging me off Grace: duh Janis: yeah and you need to go grovel like you always do so you can be bffs forever Janis: this ain't my first rodeo either Grace: I don't need to do anything Grace: so if you'll excuse me Janis: I won't Janis: seriously, control your friends Grace: no thanks Janis: stop being such a useless cunt Grace: stop talking to me like that Grace: or ever preferably Grace: you agreed to help me, it's your problem if they're in your inbox too Janis: no, it ain't Janis: they're your problem Grace: no they're not Grace: they're muted on my phone rn Grace: I don't have a problem Janis: yeah singular is a bit pie in the sky Janis: for fuck sake, get it over with Grace: no thanks Janis: we get it, you're attention starved Janis: milk it all you want but keep it private, the rest of us don't need to see Mia throw you a bone Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: how funny is it when that's exactly what you do though Janis: tears of a 🤡 Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this time'll be different, babes Janis: god bless Grace: makes no difference to you so get over it Janis: 😂 Janis: does though, as I've literally fucking stated so either sort your shit or just get it out of my fucking face, either way, I don't care Janis: I didn't sign up to deal with ou, I really didn't sign up to deal with them Grace: I'm not the one in your inbox, tell it to them if you're so affected Janis: listen, you fucking idiot Janis: they're not my business, I want nothing to do with them Grace: well me either rn so Janis: what part of, I don't fucking care about you do you not understand Janis: they're your friends, it's your mess, grow the fuck up and deal with it Grace: I'm just telling you why I'm not sorting them out for you Grace: but keep begging me to like Grace: like its so hard to handle for yourself Janis: You are Janis: end of story Grace: I'm really not Grace: I'm in this mess which you think is mine cos I was defending you Grace: why would I get into more drama with them to tell them to leave you alone? Grace: You've already told me I shouldn't have bothered in the first place Janis: I don't care about you, oh my God Janis: I don't care if you're exiled, it's your mess Janis: own it Grace: well I don't care if they're in your inbox so Janis: I don't care about your feelings or opinions Janis: this is all irrelevant Grace: then stop asking me to do you a favour Grace: shut them up yourself or don't Janis: it isn't a favour Janis: it's responsibility Grace: they aren't my responsibility Grace: so its not Janis: yes they are Janis: no one elese likes them Janis: you brought them here Grace: they aren't Grace: they're their own bitches making their own messes Janis: wow put it on a t-shirt Janis: in this case, they are Grace: no Grace: even if they were my friends I can't tell them what to do, they only listen to Mia Grace: & I'm not going to try cos they aren't Janis: 🎻 Grace: play it for yourself & your blown up inbox babes Janis: sort it out Grace: no Janis: you useless fucking bitch Grace: it didn't work the last time you said that Grace: but go off Janis: drop dead Grace: you wish Janis: you wish Janis: you pathetic wreck Grace: 😭😭😭 Janis: exactly Janis: invite your ex over again to make you feel loved Janis: then pretend you don't remember how he got there Grace: nice idea but no thanks he really didn't Janis: no shit Janis: not stopped you before Janis: like the Mia shit, you always revert to type, needy little cunt Grace: you're literally asking me to go back to her so you can have a clean inbox babes Grace: & I've said no Grace: deal with it Janis: yeah? Janis: because I don't care about you Janis: what? I want you to have nice friends 😂 Janis: I didn't help you for you, obviously, you know that Janis: at least Mia knows what the fuck she is Grace: go ask her to call them off then Grace: I'm sure she'd love to Grace: when she's done telling everyone she made you cry at the party obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: so tragic Janis: 'til 🤡 walked in right on cue Janis: no one's talking about me, not even Mia Janis: don't you just love that for you? Grace: you'd love that but she is Grace: they all are Janis: no, you've got them muted and I'm essentially in the group chat Janis: trust, all about you, graciekins Grace: you wish Grace: I've unmuted plenty of times Grace: over plenty of days Janis: wow ok harriet the spy Janis: get you Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: just tell your boyfriend I need his address when you sort out what the hell you're doing Grace: that way I can go back to ignoring you Janis: [address] Janis: there Grace: 👋 Janis: hope you die in a car crash! 👍 Grace: dream about it Grace: 💕 Janis: you wish anyone did Grace: I really don't Janis: convincing, again Grace: I'm not going to sit here & convince you that I don't actually want people to wish me dead Grace: sorry about it Janis: yeah 'cos that's what was meant Grace: yeah cos I care what you meant Janis: it's not about caring it's just basic comprehension, really Janis: but go off with that victim narrative you fit everything into Grace: but I'm so stupid tho babes, so sorry Grace: can't comprehend you & your mysterious ways Janis: nothing mysterious about it Janis: you wish though Janis: maybe all this means I really care, wouldn't that be lovely, n'awh Grace: but I love it so much how often you tell me you don't Grace: so no Janis: ew Janis: keep your dreams to yourself Grace: you first Grace: or you know, just keep telling everyone how much you'd love it if I died Grace: put it in the group chat for the girls 💕 Janis: ugh this conversation would be so much easier if you could read Janis: you're the only one that likes to be told still Janis: but that's just your wankbank material so, we get it Janis: times are tough for you rn Grace: but you don't care about my thoughts & feelings Grace: so its so considerate for you to do it anyway Grace: best sister award Janis: You're so lucky to have me Janis: get out the lollipop sticks, you're making more work for yourself Grace: mhhhhmmm Grace: I'll get the kid brother to do it, it's fine Janis: try not to scare him with all your problems Grace: thanks for the pro tip babes Grace: working on his big brother is it? Janis: you wish you knew Janis: sad times Grace: I do know, I had a front row seat for how 😍 he is Janis: you wish you knew how to do it, obviously Grace: yeah Grace: but I don't & you're not gonna tell me so Grace: I'll have to get over it Janis: such a drag when you're so #damaged and it ain't getting you all that enabling dick Janis: shame she ain't about to ask, such a pro Grace: IKR Janis: not that she ever talked to you so bit de ja vu init babes Grace: obvs Janis: 💔 truly Grace: tragic Janis: least you only have to pretend to be messed up over it now Grace: what a relief Janis: mhhhhmmm Janis: must've sucked to have actually given a shit about her Grace: did it? Grace: you're one of the only few of us who bothered Janis: nah Grace: glad you're not 💔💔💔 Janis: obviously Janis: you care SO much Janis: the nicest person to ever exist Grace: not about her tho Janis: like you said, no one did Grace: I said you did Grace: you're saying no one Janis: typical you to presume you know me Janis: unsurprised Grace: typical you pretend like I wasn't there Grace: unsurprised Janis: as if that was an option Janis: chatting shit Grace: you're so good at it now tho Grace: well done Grace: a real glow up Janis: you know Janis: still as annoying but less and less relevant the more you scream and cry Janis: lost any real power 'fore we were out of nappies but go of Janis: regression is very in now anyway, can't all be me Grace: sure Janis: 💔💔💔 Grace: are you done, my ex is here Grace: need to revert to type like now Janis: hope you polished the mirror like a good girl then Grace: not that one Grace: but thanks Grace: so many to choose from obvs Janis: they're all the same Janis: especially with how little of a shit they give about you Janis: cute, we should get jackets Grace: duh Janis: awh tell lewis jack aaron etc i said hi Grace: I would but none of them are talkers Grace: kinda the point Janis: thick gotta pick thick Janis: not exactly a stunning conversationalist, which is depressing, the amount you chat Grace: obvs Janis: well have a lovely time Grace: thanks Grace: 👋 Janis: ✌ Grace: 💋 Janis: it's obvious enough you're fucking me without that Grace: EW Grace: be weirder Janis: really out here playing dumb Janis: not much of a talker, hates you, loves themselves Janis: i know you bum ma and da but really, couldn't settle for daddy issues could you Grace: I AM dumb, babes Grace: & all of that you've said Grace: like I said, keep your dreams to yourself first please Janis: all of it's true Janis: gonna 💔 if you start pretending they love you, christ Grace: I'm not Grace: but love the warning Grace: so cute Janis: serious, you should come with a warning Janis: ready to ring up the samaritans on your behalf every time you pop up Grace: I do, it's that I'm related to you Grace: but I work around it Grace: don't waste their time when you don't care SO MUCH babes, it's really rude Janis: that's adorable Janis: if only people disliked you 'cos of me, oh bless Janis: they give less of a shit, trust Grace: It's a warning for boys, isn't it? Grace: plenty of them think I'm like you, trust Janis: 😱 Janis: omg, boys don't like me Janis: better go commit Janis: you're the one surrounded by girls, my love Grace: but you're so wifed Grace: so you'll have to go on living or what would that poor barista boy do? Janis: again, you wish Grace: I really don't but you are Grace: he's gonna be so sad when you stop caring about him Janis: yeah, too nice for you Janis: real bummer being so in love with me, you poor thing Grace: it is for him, yeah Janis: you've puked in front of him once and now you're besties Janis: this is how we ended up here, raise the bar Grace: I wish we were cos of how much you'd hate it but sadly no Janis: 💔 Janis: as I said, you wish Janis: revelation, Gracie wants what's mine Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: like you said, he's too nice for me, hun Janis: doesn't stop you thinking you deserve better Janis: so hard done by Grace: oh please Janis: my sentiments exactly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: have fun wherever you're going Janis: obviously Grace: bye Janis: yeah yeah Grace: so I can't even say bye now? Grace: fine Janis: say what you like Janis: likewise Grace: whatever Janis: fine Janis: 😂 Grace: [is ignoring again cos really stop Grace you aren't gonna get anywhere] Janis: [later] Janis: k we're leaving Janis: can you come now for a few hours Janis: he's back at 6:30 so Cass said she'll be back 6:15 latest Grace: sure Janis: tah Janis: gotta get [bus number] that's quickest Grace: do I have to feed her or something? what kind of tween is she? Grace: some of them can do everything & some nothing Janis: she ain't Mia, she eats Janis: she was gonna get maccies so don't worry 'bout her Grace: 👌 Janis: wait 'round 'til you're here, give you key and all that shit Janis: try not to see his dad, yeah, he dunno so Grace: I'll get the boy to drop me so I won't be long Grace: like 10 Janis: gross Janis: but cool Grace: what about the dog? Grace: you didn't mention it Janis: we're taking it Grace: thank god Janis: yeah you aren't good with dogs so no Grace: literally Janis: yet you begged for one 'til like last year Grace: did you need to have a dig at me? Grace: so rude Janis: just saying, a pugs life is hard enough without you wanting to shove it in a bag Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I don't even want a pug it's cruel Janis: now maybe Janis: 13 year old you couldn't be told shit Grace: ever maybe excuse you very much Grace: god, leave me alone Janis: whatever Grace: what time does he go to work in the AM? Janis: 6 Janis: they'll be asleep 'til later though, come 'round like 9 and then Cass can go do what she wants for the day Grace: k Janis: you're not all fucking Janis: messy are you Janis: don't scare him Grace: you're such a bitch Grace: I wouldn't do that Grace: he's a kid Janis: well if he's still there you've only just finished christ Janis: don't rip my head off, you're the one doing all this shite Grace: I said I'd do this first Grace: so fuck you Janis: whatever Janis: if you're gonna be a fucking trainwreck I ain't gonna let you Grace: if I was a trainwreck I wouldn't be coming Janis: we'll see, won't we Grace: whatever Janis: not whatever, it's serious Janis: he's 6, he can't just be left with anyone Grace: I told you, I'm fine Grace: if you don't want me to show up I won't Janis: not like I have a choice Janis: don't fuck it up Grace: don't talk to me like that Janis: if you're gonna have an attitude, don't come Grace: k I won't Grace: makes no difference to me Janis: exactly Janis: don't Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: I I was you Janis: I would not be there when I get back Grace: wasn't planning on it now my night's opened up babes Janis: I mean it Janis: you've had a fair warning so stay the fuck outta my eyeline and earshot Grace: so do I Grace: better things to do now I'm not waiting on you to tell me to come over thanks Janis: what, like letting another ex degrade you or texting back your friends who hate you? Janis: you're a fucking joke that was never funny and now Grace: none of your business Grace: literally ever Grace: but actually I only kept him around this long so he could drive me cos I knew you'd tell me to come with one foot out the door Grace: so glad I bothered Janis: sure, blame me for riding your ex when you could've got the bus like any normal person, princess Janis: what the hell is wrong with you? Grace: I'm telling you why he was still here cos you're apparently convinced I'd turn up in idk what kind of state Grace: like I'm her now, okay Janis: This was a stupid idea Janis: he doesn't know you, what you're like Grace: it was your idea, I just agreed to it Janis: no, it was his Janis: but I shouldve said no from the off, you can't be trusted Grace: but I can, babes Grace: you just don't like the idea of that Janis: like fuck can you Janis: you're a mess Grace: you wish Grace: I could do this, you just don't want me to Janis: why would I? Grace: cos if you did you could go Grace: & I know you want that Janis: well I want you around less Grace: fine Grace: I'm not Janis: Good Grace: tell your boyfriend we can work something else out since I still owe him Janis: fuck off Janis: this is what I don't want Janis: go away, no one owes anyone anything Grace: not true Grace: but whatever Janis: true, do one Janis: get it out of your fucking head Grace: like I said, whatever Janis: tell me when you've gone Grace: I am gone obvs Grace: I'm in a car Janis: Good Janis: I can leave Grace: sure can Janis: I'm not forgiving you for this Grace: you hate me anyway what do I care? Grace: you're gonna be more of a bitch Grace: wow Janis: do you not understand what you've actually done Janis: I can't be around your or I'm scared I'm going to genuinely hurt you Janis: cut the bullshit for one second 'cos this is real Grace: then don't be around me Grace: it's your own fault that I'm not doing this Grace: you could be on your way to wherever Janis: Yeah, 'cos going is really an option now Janis: you're not that stupid Grace: I'll come over now if you stop being such a bitch about it Grace: but you literally never can Grace: you'd rather act like it's my fault cos I hung out with a boy who I've fucked a few times for a few hours Grace: nothing even really happened Janis: I'm not interested Janis: it's too late now it's ruined Grace: you want it to be too late Grace: it's literally not Grace: I'm saying Janis: well funnily enough this isn't about you Janis: he's not gonna wanna go Grace: did he say that? Janis: I don't know Janis: you think I can listen Grace: Janis, get a fucking grip Grace: he loves you he obvs wants to go Janis: well I just told him we couldn't Grace: so un-tell him Grace: OMG Janis: oh yeah, that's not insane Grace: you're insane if you don't go, bitch Grace: what did you say for why you couldn't go? Janis: idk, just that we couldn't, end of Grace: so tell him I got held up but I'm omw Grace: he can be mad at me what do I care Grace: he looks cute like that Janis: piss off Janis: fine Grace: you're not gonna like hit me when I get there, are you? Janis: no Janis: get a head start if you're that concerned Grace: I'm just asking Janis: just Janis: thanks Janis: alright Grace: ew stop Janis: don't start Grace: don't thank me Grace: I'm not doing it for you Janis: whatever Grace: I told mum & dad Grace: so you might wanna put dad on mute Grace: just saying Janis: knew you would Janis: fair enough Janis: noted Grace: that's not for you either so don't like thank me again Grace: so weird Janis: I know on that one Grace: sure Grace: do I get a where now or are you just going? Janis: you gonna tell them that too Grace: ew Grace: no Grace: you know mum would drive there or something cringe Grace: I'd die of second hand embarrassment Janis: Good luck to her Janis: just gonna see how far we can get Grace: really? Grace: or is that what you're telling me cos you think I'm gonna tell everyone Janis: yeah and I wanna seem dead cool Janis: of course really Grace: everyone in this family would 👏 that Grace: so free spirited of you babes Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't give a shit Janis: hopefully we get murdered so I don't have to hear the 👏 Grace: I'm not telling them so you won't have to Grace: so don't get murdered Grace: okay? Janis: not sure it's a negotiation sitch Janis: do my best Grace: yeah Grace: I'm like 10 away again so Janis: alright Janis: we're out front 🚬 so I'll see you Grace: ew Grace: of course you are Janis: what do you mean of course I've never smoked Grace: bitch please Grace: I'm stupid, not oblivious Janis: well recently but I ain't a smoker Grace: didn't ask Grace: if you wanna not be as good of a runner that's not my buisiness Janis: 🙄 Janis: bitch please Grace: 🙄 Grace: ugh why do boys HAVE TO talk so much Grace: just drive Janis: 😂 Janis: if that wasn't typed I wouldn't believe I'd just heard that right Janis: probably 'cos you don't wanna talk to him? Grace: I don't wanna hear how AMAZING it'd be if I gave him a blowjob rn Grace: boy no I don't want to die Janis: you better get off the phone to me if you're doing that Grace: that's what I'm saying tho Grace: not happening Grace: me in a car crash is your dream, babes Grace: also I'm so close to barista boy's house, is that a compliment or can he only last a minute? 🤔 Janis: idk who it even is so I can't tell you Janis: you should know surely Grace: I just remembered the answer Grace: & why he's an ex Janis: grim 😏 Grace: lowkey need out of this car before he gets more highkey Grace: ugh Janis: you really shoulda got the bus Grace: bus drivers creep me out Grace: they're always staring at me like I'm walking around with my boobs out Grace: ew Grace: at least I know this perv Janis: at least there's witnesses on the bus Janis: and a company to complain to if you're feeling it Grace: OMG don't Grace: I'm having the worse day if this is my last one Janis: it be like that Janis: not often having a banging one Janis: 'less you plan to OD or have a heartattack fucking a stripper or something Grace: I know you'd LOVE for me to be murdered but can you not please Janis: well quick gimme his name and license Grace: UM no Grace: let's keep it at you not knowing who he is, thanks Janis: you would rather be murdered Janis: also I'll see when he drops you off 'less you're gonna make him park a road over like an embarrassing mum Grace: tbh Grace: & yeah I so am Janis: you're a nutter Janis: idgaf Grace: exactly Grace: so you're just gonna be a bitch Grace: & I can't even rn so Janis: so Janis: you don't lurve him, clearly Grace: that makes it worse Grace: duh Janis: you'd rather I slag off the love of your life Janis: I mean, do, on the reg Grace: I could defend that Grace: not spending a whole afternoon with this boy just cos I don't wanna be alone Grace: there's nothing I can say about that Janis: meh same Janis: least you ain't going away for a minibreak Grace: the fact you can say that like its a bad thing is why I don't ever wanna know you Janis: 🙄 you're so dramatic Janis: we're bonding, bitch Grace: oh excuse me, you get to miss school with a cute boy & it's such a drag Grace: & he loves you can't forget that Janis: he does not Janis: behave Grace: he so does Grace: the most dramatic 😍😍😍 I've ever seen Janis: probably just wants road head init Grace: 😂 Grace: thanks for not shagging him in the middle of the restaurant tho, really appreciate that, babes Janis: ryan was putting me right off Janis: didn't do it/not do it for you, obvs Grace: you were doing the opposite of putting him off so obvs Grace: idk how many times he asked me to sit on his lap Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 🤢 Janis: woulda had to drag you off on principle Grace: I should've to crush him Grace: v tempting Grace: but killing him was not the mission sadly Janis: really gotta call it a day 'fore she gets you in on a murder pact Janis: fuck telling ma and da, tell someone who'll actually do something about it, like Grace: oh so you want him to live a long & productive life, okay Janis: not about him Janis: you would not do well in prison Grace: you should be encouraging me to go then Grace: duh Janis: nah Janis: imagine the letters you'd write Janis: no hair straighteners, no make up Grace: at least I wouldn't have to stress about my prison wife being prettier than me Grace: so might be 😍😍😍 Janis: you've got plenty experience being someone's bitch, true Janis: if you wanna come out, just do it, btw Grace: I told you, I can't Grace: would love to Janis: 😂 Janis: every girl you know is a massive bitch, I don't see how it'd be any better Grace: I wouldn't date any of them ew Grace: I don't even like them Grace: as friends Janis: you're so weird Grace: you're so rude Grace: I'm not weird Janis: you don't like your friends, how is that normal Grace: It's normal of everyone I know Grace: none of us like each other Janis: Mental Grace: 🤷 Janis: have you considered Janis: not Grace: babes, do you wanna be more specific? Janis: not being friends with people you hate Grace: obvs Janis: annnnd Grace: and what? Grace: you know what the answers are Janis: why though Grace: like I said, you know so Janis: I don't know why you would Janis: well Janis: maybe Grace: you so do Grace: & we don't need to go into it when I'm stuck in a car with this boy, do we? Janis: whatever Janis: i'm easy Grace: I know Grace: but if you don't want me to show up a mess don't upset me Grace: 🤷 Janis: bit rude Janis: you just called me a slag Grace: you wish Janis: yeah lifelong ambition that Janis: dead wanna follow in ma's footsteps Grace: yeah obvs Grace: really get that vibe from you Janis: you get what I give ya, babe Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you know it's true Grace: I didn't say it wasn't Janis: hmm Janis: d'ya reckon if I 'turn Mia, Drew would fuck her to death? 🤔 Grace: not something I wanna think about thanks Grace: ew Janis: you were all about the murder plots five seconds ago Grace: but he's so old & she's so bad in bed Grace: I can't Janis: 1. he isn't really is he, he's not even 40 yet Janis: 2. know you're hating but going that hard sounds like you have firsthand so Grace: 👌👌👌 fine he's sooo gross whatever Grace: & you think I do anyway & I'm talking to you rn so Janis: meh probably would Janis: just an FYI so you don't get a callout post on your callout post Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: can you not I'm trying to direct an idiot who has already gone the wrong way twice Janis: that's how he passed Janis: #roadhead Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm getting out this is stupid Grace: ugh Janis: that was funny, coulda laughed, bitch Grace: you don't know I didn't LOL Grace: & I'll never tell you bitch Janis: woulda heard you from here Grace: it wasn't that funny babe Grace: I'm not gonna go that hard Janis: inside voice who? Janis: your fault diego is deaf, btw Grace: RUDE! Janis: 😂 Grace: it's so freezing Grace: how are you just outside casually Janis: 🙄 Janis: just tough like that, obvs Grace: sure Janis: 'scuse you bitch Grace: excuse me why Janis: don't deny it Grace: literally did not Janis: you've got such an attitude problem you know Janis: I blame the parents Grace: just blame me Grace: it's how this goes, hun Janis: your hard on for them is unbearable Grace: I'll add it to the things Janis hates about me list Grace: thanks so much Janis: seriously Janis: it's not natural Grace: I'm not normal or natural now, okay Janis: okay zooey Janis: calm down Grace: no Janis: ick Grace: 🤷 Janis: you're real gross, graciekins Grace: keep repeating yourself babes Grace: nobody's over it or anything Janis: know you hate yourself but refering to yourself as nobody is a bit touched Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you here yet ugh Grace: I'm walking get over it Grace: if you can't see me I'm obvs not Janis: hurry up good god Janis: places to be Janis: lorry drivers to suck off Grace: shut up & I could Janis: could you Grace: OMG Grace: leave me alone Janis: 😂 Janis: ⏲ Grace: do you want me to turn around & go home? Janis: you don't get to hold it over me, your idea Janis: chipchop Grace: I can do whatever I want Janis: ooh Janis: go on then Grace: fine Grace: bye Janis: 👋 Grace: 👋 Janis: DID YOU THINK THAT'D WORK Janis: genuine question Grace: I don't know or care what you're talking about Grace: I'm just genuinely going home so Janis: bless your heart Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you better not be Janis: he's all worked up ow and YOU said you wouldn't do that to a kid Grace: fight me later, babes Grace: I'm tired Janis: fuck off, Grace Grace: literally am Janis: get in here now Janis: this isn't a game Grace: stop treating me like a pawn then, bitch Janis: hurry up Janis: stop timewasting Grace: stop talking to me like that Janis: whatever Grace: not even Janis: fuck sake cry about it later Janis: you owe Jimmy, not me Grace: feel free to tell him I still do cos you can't stop being a bitch for 2 seconds Janis: shup up Janis: you're so pissy Grace: exactly Grace: I'm in no mood for you being so rude to me for literally no reason rn Janis: I'm not gonna lick you out for doing something you have promised to do Janis: get over it and we'll be done here Grace: you get over it Grace: cos I'm over you treating me like this all the time Janis: uhuh Grace: so I'm not coming & you can deal with that Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌 Janis: well tah for nothing, you massive cunt Janis: and I've changed my mind, I am going to hit you if I see you Janis: ✌ Grace: you're so welcome Grace: & I'm unsurprised Janis: Don't come anywhere near me I swear to God Grace: why would I? Grace: I turned around once for you already & now I have to find someone else to pick me up Janis: good thing you've disappointed half the lads in school then isn't it Janis: plenty of potential pity rides Grace: yeah Janis: disgusting Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you reckon you hate yourself but you don't enough Janis: actually vile Grace: noted Janis: seriously fuck you Janis: I can't have one thing Grace: & I can't have 5 seconds without you slagging me off Grace: so Janis: boo fucking hoo Janis: it isn't even comparable you selfish bitch Grace: so devastated for you that you can't leave Janis: it isn't just that are you so fucking Janis: forget it Janis: actually give up on you but I mean it Grace: fine by me Grace: you're horrible to me anyway Janis: at least I fucking notice you cunt Janis: who else does, no one Grace: yeah cos that's the attention I want Grace: thanks Janis: well poor fucking you with all your fake friends and boyfriends Janis: you can go back to feeling better about it when I have no one again, status quo Grace: I'll happily take all of that over a second of you being real about how you hope I die or whatever Janis: no shit Janis: I know Grace: obvs Grace: you know everything, yeah Janis: shut the fuck up Janis: this isn't about you Janis: you don't get to ruin the one thing I have and have a pity party like I should care Grace: no, it's about you freaking out that your boyfriend's gonna leave you Janis: fuck you, seriously Grace: I hope he does if this is how horrible you're gonna be Janis: well you can't have everything Janis: sorry, princess Grace: I don't have anything duh Grace: you've said it enough times Janis: bullshit Janis: I've told you, I'm not feeling sorry for you Grace: literally wasn't asking Grace: but it makes no sense to tell me I can't have everything & also tell me I have nothing Grace: so like Grace: figure out your insults Janis: you always are because you're pathetic Janis: I ain't got time Janis: some of us still have places to be Grace: sure babes Grace: me too Janis: difference between me and you is, I actually do it, Grace Janis: can tell the 'rents the danger factor is amped up if you still reckon you care Grace: I was actually trying to help you & I'm so glad I bothered so guess what no Janis: 💔 Grace: obvs Grace: save it for the former barista Janis: you really are that stupid Janis: you think I'm still there or Janis: you get to ruin my life and not even understand what the fuck you've done, yeah, why not Grace: I don't care where you are, you still love him anyway Janis: shut the fuck up Grace: why should I? you won't ever Janis: because you don't get to take it away and fucking talk on it like you have any idea Grace: I can do whatever I like Grace: you're that stupid if you think he's not gonna come after you Grace: wherever you've gone Janis: No, he won't Janis: but you wouldn't know that or why 'cos you don't know a thing about it Grace: Unless you've killed him, yeah he will Janis: really 'cos it's me that's had this conversation with him, not you Janis: thanks, truly Grace: oh so you think he's that stupid too Grace: you really know how to treat people, babes Janis: no because he's got his own fucking issues, Grace and you've forced my hand so yeah, now I've had to do something really fucked Grace: I haven't forced you into anything Grace: you did it Janis: bullshit Janis: I wanted to go with him and because of you I'm going alone, you can't deny it 'cos if you'd just fucking did what you said you would then he'd be here too Grace: Take responsibility for yourself, Janis Grace: You're going alone cos you treat people like shit and expect them to just take it Grace: I didn't make you leave him there Grace: you could've stayed with him easily, what he wants is to be with you Janis: you aren't people Grace: what's he though? you love him & you did that Janis: fuck you and fucking easily as if you've ever had a real relationship with anyone, and I don't just mean lads Janis: how dare you lecture me Grace: yeah sure make it about me cos you can't handle what you just did Grace: you could've just stopped being a bitch to me & it would have fixed this Grace: you could've stayed with him like you want instead of running away Janis: well no I couldn't or I would have Grace: then don't blame me Janis: it's your fault Janis: I can't make it any clearer Grace: it's your own fault Janis: no, it's yours Janis: you get treated like shit because that's how you treat me and expect a fucking groveling thanks Grace: I don't even Grace: & I didn't expect any thanks just not for you to make me feel like shit for a second Janis: you always feel like shit Janis: and you want it to be my fault but it ain't Grace: yeah so that makes it okay for you to add to it Grace: sure Grace: the things you say & do are your fault, babe Grace: even when you want them to be mine Janis: you're incapable of doing anything and not making it about yourself Grace: well I'm sorry Grace: all I've got is myself & I can't do this with you anymore Janis: no you're not Grace: yeah I am Janis: well save it Janis: one thing Janis: and it wasn't even me asking Grace: it was still you that ruined it Grace: for yourself Janis: if you like Grace: I don't Grace: but it's what's happened Janis: know negging is super effective on you but I'm not buying it Grace: I don't care Janis: I know Janis: so stop pretending you do Grace: I'm not pretending, I told you I can't do this with you anymore Grace: I'm not Grace: stay away, come back, I don't care Janis: lovely Grace: just actually leave me alone Janis: like I've said, this isn't about you Grace: & like I've said, I do not care Janis: sure Grace: I'm muting you now Janis: I sincerely don't care Janis: you are the last thing on my mind Grace: so glad Grace: 👋 Janis: if you were, you wouldn't feel the need to say it Janis: so go and stay gone because I have no energy for you now Grace: [is ignoring cos nothing more I can even say at this point]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Rio & Buster

Rio: This is dire Rio: but effective contraception, like Buster: Swap with me Buster: I know my mum wants that lesson drilled into me, like Rio: Happily, Indie is so gutted she weren't allowed to be on team lads lads lads today Buster: I bet Buster: Never been more buzzing to be one Rio: That's saying something, you were such a baby misogynist Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm already mad at you Rio: Bringing it back for the day are we? Buster: Might do Buster: 😂 Rio: Rude Rio: What did I do to you, except let Indie borrow your shirt soz about it Buster: Her wearing my clothes instead of you ain't how I want it Buster: You had the perfect excuse, babe Rio: She was in need Rio: I had too many choices Buster: Well, me too Buster: Of seeing you in my shirt and nothing else Rio: There's always later, babe Rio: When I get it off you, like Buster: Great compromise, babe Buster: I like how you're thinking Rio: Got nothing but time here Rio: It's seriously awkward Rio: thank fuck for the kids for distraction Buster: And you've always got me Buster: Christ knows you distracted me with the outfit you did choose Rio: 💗 Awh baby Buster: You look so good Buster: We should go out later Rio: Please Rio: Gotta salvage this look and day Buster: I wanna make the most of every minute I've got left with you before I have to go back for school again Rio: Same Rio: Final stretch now though Buster: Yeah Buster: Thank fuck Rio: Family functions are so boring without you Buster: Come to the pub, seriously Buster: Janis is loving it Rio: I wish, there isn't enough of a party amotsphere here to slip outta Rio: gotta do my part Rio: she's loving life by default for dashing that matching sequin moment Buster: 😂 Buster: I can't say the same 'cause granddad is likewise feeling it and there's a proper party mood Buster: off Nan's leash like Rio: 😂 Rio: dont get used to it like, if a bitch refuses the dress code she can leave early, like Buster: Has she actually? I thought he was joking Rio: 'Course Rio: the silent protest we all needed Buster: I could've sorted her out as well Buster: But you know it could be worse Buster: If the booze was flowing there like it is here, especially Rio: I'd love to see you offer 😂 Rio: Yeah, apart from Indie we all being very reserved for that reason Rio: can't live the cliche of this ending in a brawl Buster: I'll drop her a text right now Buster: It ain't too late, yeah? Rio: She gonna fight you and Grandad when she get there Rio: You're funny Buster: I need the practice Buster: I haven't been to the gym enough this hol Rio: Could've fooled me Rio: 😍 Buster: You're cute Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Rio: I might go get a drink Buster: A drink or a drink? Rio: Oh don't, we've played enough cringey games today Rio: a drink drink Buster: Cheers then Buster: I can't tell you not to, 'cause I'm well on it Rio: 🥂 Buster: I reckon you've got competition for the shirt off my back by the way Buster: Pablo is eyeing every label Rio: Yeah watch him fr Rio: also glad that's what you meant 'bout to go 👀 on you 0-100 like Buster: What can I say? I may have deliberately phrased it how I did Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't be mad, you know I like it when you get like that about me Rio: If you like it then lemme be mad 😜 Rio: can't have it both ways baby Buster: As long as you're not properly mad Buster: You're having a shit enough day, like Rio: Nah, I'm good Rio: though I can't convince your Sister to drink with me Rio: in bad company, like, Drew is gone Buster: It's probably for the best that she won't, fun as a drunk Nance sounds, she might go harder than Nan in changing the mood Buster: I'm sure Indie would though, nobody wants to be at that thing less than she does, right? Buster: Except Drew maybe Rio: My dastardly plan, obvs Rio: draws the line at calling you out, clearly 🙄 Rio: Guess so but not really tryna get her crossfaded like I'm him Buster: Standard Buster: The 🚬 will wear off well fast though, especially if she got it from Drew, like Rio: [Sends Indie's snap] Rio: She ain't playing Rio: had to hide 'em in my bag like the meanest bitch ever 'cos the kids nearly got hold Buster: She ain't thought that through Buster: Clearly not thinking though so Buster: Did she hear from that lad yet? Rio: Yeah, other day, like Rio: He's a twat but she was pretty buzzin' Rio: what can you do Buster: 🥊 him Rio: It ain't him I need to keep away Rio: she's gotta get over it herself, like Buster: Don't act like it wouldn't feel good still Rio: Obviously Rio: I gotta be the good guy tho 😇 so when it goes tits, she's not gotta hate on me instead, like Buster: Yeah Buster: But I won't tell, babe Buster: You can be as bad as you want with me Rio: Yeah? Rio: That's good 'cos I've already got a surprise for you later Buster: Yeah? Buster: Do I get any spoilers? Rio: It's pink Buster: In theme Buster: Nicely done Rio: Knew you'd like it Buster: I'm trying to think what you're planning Buster: Excuse me lads Rio: Yeah, don't make it a pub quiz tah 😏 Buster: 😂 Rio: I told you I had too many outfit options Buster: Behave Buster: You're gonna make me blush Buster: Keeping it pink, like but Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: but okay, save your blushes babe Buster: How long for? When can we leave Buster: I want to be with you now Rio: Patience Rio: You said you'd take me out first Buster: I will Buster: But I can still take you up against a wall when we are, can't I Rio: Who are you if you don't, like Rio: gotta make my day somehow Buster: Think about how I'm gonna make you feel, that'll be a start Rio: It's helping Rio: can't get too happy like, start looking outta place Buster: I'm sure you can find some privacy somewhere Buster: You're a smart girl Rio: Yeah but can you? Or are you gonna sit there and have me like it ain't no thing Buster: How do you really want me, baby? Rio: Boy 😩 Buster: Tell me Buster: I'll stay or go, whatever you say Rio: Stay there Rio: I like the idea of it Buster: Then I won't move Rio: I'm gonna go to my room, no particular reason, like Buster: Yeah you are Rio: Okay, now what am I gonna do? Buster: Make me regret saying I won't move Rio: Easy Buster: We'll see won't we Rio: You will Rio: I already got a pretty good view Buster: I bet you do Buster: Show me something Rio: Not to be that bitch but I think someone else is coming up 😑 Rio: Hold on babe Buster: 😒 Buster: I'll be here Rio: Oh, okay, it was just Diego getting some shit from his room Buster: Good Rio: How I ever got any fucking done in this house was a miracle Buster: It's inspiring Rio: You know the hero you deserve and need Buster: Coming for my 👑 but yeah Rio: There's room for 2 rulers, babe Buster: I know babe Buster: We're living it Rio: 😊 Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Rio: Can I pretend that I can't hear my name being called? Buster: You have to 'cause I'm not the one saying it Rio: I like that rule Buster: It's just me and you Buster: Pretend that for me Rio: Yes Rio: I want that so bad Buster: You need it Buster: Tell me how badly Rio: Bad Rio: as bad as I wanna be for you baby Buster: What are you gonna do for me? Rio: Whatever you want me to do Rio: Anything and everything Rio: Start slow though Rio: [Pics] Buster: [messes around with the app while he pretends like he's thinking] Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah, babe? Buster: Just thinking here, like Rio: Take your time Rio: Seriously, give it a good ponder Buster: How hard do you want me to think about it? Rio: Really long and hard Rio: it's important Rio: wanna get this right for you, like Buster: Okay, good Buster: What other toys do you have there still? I wanna make the best choice possible, you know Rio: You know me so well Rio: [Selection] Buster: [Still on this goddamn app while he pretends to ponder] Rio: You're taking this very seriously aren't you Buster: 'Course Buster: Not moving either as promised Rio: Can't say they same Rio: also can't type, already Buster: 😏 Buster: We have to stay in theme so you gotta use the pink one, obviously Buster: Why didn't I immediately think of that? Rio: It's almost like this shitshow is the last thing on either of our minds 😜 Buster: Nah, I'm so unaffected, still the life and soul here Rio: 😔 Rio: oh Buster: If anyone can change that, baby, I know it's you Buster: You're so bad, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: You just need reminding Buster: Make me wanna leave this pub for you never mind this chair Rio: Fine Rio: you can see the outfit Rio: just not on, not yet Rio: [Snap] Buster: Now who's taking things seriously? Rio: Now I know you're playing hard, gotta up my game too Buster: I can go harder Buster: Barely touched this app yet Rio: Please Rio: You're driving me crazy with all this teasing Buster: Is that better, babe? Rio: No, I want you Rio: You could come here and fuck me and be back before anyone even noticed Buster: Can you be quiet? Buster: They'll notice if not Rio: No, but you can put your hand over my mouth Buster: That never works you just end up putting my fingers in your mouth 😈 Rio: You have to give me something to keep my mouth busy Rio: maybe you can take this vibrator out of my pussy replace it with your dick Rio: I wanna taste me Buster: Okay now you're having good ideas Rio: Yeah? Rio: It's 'cos I'm thinking of you Buster: Now I wish I could move Rio: I wish you were behind me Buster: I wish you were on top of me Rio: That's how you want me, daddy? Buster: I wanna see your face when you're about to cum Rio: You can see how every single thrust makes me feel Rio: if you can focus on anything but how good my tits look Buster: Jesus Buster: I need you so much Rio: I need to say your name Rio: I miss the feel of it in my mouth Buster: Say it for me now Rio: I am Rio: and I push it deeper every time Buster: Let me see you Rio: Make sure your audio is off Rio: [Video Buster: I nearly made my own sounds then Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: I love turning you on when you're in public and with other people Buster: I know you do Buster: It's making you so wet Rio: If you could listen to my video Rio: You would know Buster: Am I allowed to move to get my earphones out of my bag or not? Rio: Anti-social baby Rio: but yes, because every sound I'm making is for you Buster: Fuck Buster: Rio Rio: Come moan that into my mouth as you cum deep inside me Buster: I want to so bad Rio: I'm gonna have to go soon Buster: Don't Buster: Stay for me Rio: I really fucking want to Buster: I need you Rio: Are you gonna come see me? Buster: Tell me I can Rio: You can, but you might have to make polite small talk first if you get seen Buster: What am I gonna say? Buster: I can't act like I just really wanted some tea and cake Rio: Sure you can Rio: she's your auntie too, get so many good boy points 'fore you come up here and lose 'em all Buster: Is it not no lads allowed? Rio: Yeah but Rio: ugh Rio: you probably shouldn't, I'm just being a brat Buster: Can you meet me outside so I don't need to officially come in? Rio: This is why I let you tell me what to do Rio: you have the best ideas Buster: Find us somewhere we can be alone and I'll get there as fast as I can Rio: I'll come get in your car Buster: I don't have it Rio: Oh damn Rio: 'course you don't Buster: This isn't gonna happen, is it? Rio: Fuck sake Buster: You should just go back Buster: I'll make it up to you later Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm just gonna mope Buster: I'm sorry, baby Rio: It isn't your fault Rio: I just wanted to escape Rio: the vibe is so weird here Buster: I don't blame you Buster: I can only imagine Rio: He shouldn't be here, he should be with you lot Rio: of course he ain't but Buster: I can't believe he's lasted that long there Buster: Not that I want him here but Rio: Aside from being a little drunk Rio: he's being pretty engaged and friendly Rio: guess he's doing his family guy act again but no one is really biting, he's getting frustrated Buster: 'Course he is Buster: Any way that shit is gonna wrap up soon? Rio: Well, if everyone just heard me fucking myself to the thought of you it might be time to give out the party favours, yeah Rio: the kids were keeping it from getting that tumbleweed moment but who knows Buster: Don't Buster: I mean, our ma's gotta know that he's a bad idea and bad news, yeah? It can't just be you seeing it, like Rio: It's no secret how much your Ma actively hates him, I'm surprised she's even here Rio: Mine tries to not badmouth him but you know Rio: It's kind of sad, even Meena isn't feeling it and she's invested on both sides Rio: this is fucked Buster: Yeah Buster: If you wanna leave I'll come and get you, seriously Rio: I'm going to Rio: I'll tell you when I'm ready Buster: I'll be when you are Buster: It's gonna be alright Rio: I hate how he looks at me Buster: I know Rio: See if I left a turtleneck around here Buster: You can have my jacket Rio: I can't before I say my goodbyes Buster: Fuck saying 'em Buster: Just go Rio: I guess Rio: I'm being mean Rio: I should try some more Buster: You've tried enough Buster: If you won't leave for yourself do it 'cause I want you to Rio: You should go back to having a good time babe Rio: I'll be fine Buster: Baby, please Rio: Okay, okay Rio: but I feel bad about it and I'm gonna be 😒 about it Buster: I don't care Rio: Hmpf Buster: I love you Buster: And I hate him Rio: He's not being so bad Rio: I promise Buster: I don't give a shit about Drew Buster: Only you doing what you want Rio: I know Rio: I will, I'll go down and see how it is now Buster: Make sure Indie ain't fucked up my shirt, like Rio: On it Rio: though adding a new one to my shopping list already 'cos I know her Buster: 😒 Rio: Don't be grumpy baby Buster: It's just Indie Rio: What you mean? Buster: Neither of you should have to be there Buster: I'm mad about it Rio: It isn't Ro's fault Rio: I mean, I don't know why she's done this but Buster: Nobody made her fuck him again so yeah it is Rio: It ain't just fucking for her is it Rio: I assume he weren't that hard up either but Rio: whatever it is, ain't love Buster: Don't Buster: It's worse Buster: I don't reckon either of them know what love is Buster: It's fucked Rio: It's horrible Buster: I haven't seen my mum in a mood this bad in such a long time Rio: He will fuck it up Rio: before they get down the aisle Rio: congrats on bringing another kid and woman into it though, Drew Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm scared for her, how she'll be when he fucks up and fucks off Buster: He knows how to pick them, no offense to your ma, like Rio: I doubt she can get much worse Rio: She's never not been a mess, sorry but it's true Buster: You really reckon this is rock bottom though? 'Cause that's where she's gonna hit Buster: I dread to think how she's been today Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: She'll just stop eating again, no doubt Rio: Her response to everything Buster: Don't say it like that Rio: I know she's your Auntie Rio: but that's how it is Buster: The whole point of him being at this fucking fam function is to look after her Rio: He can't force feed her Buster: He could do something Buster: More than he ever does Rio: Whatever Buster: Are you actually gonna defend him now? What the fuck Rio: You can't blame him for not 'fixing' her eating disorder Rio: and she shouldn't even be having this baby if she's not willing to get help for her mental health bullshit Buster: I'm not asking him to fix anything, I'd just take the cunt not making everything worse for a change Rio: Why would you expect that of him Rio: as bad as her Rio: she should know better Buster: I know Buster: I'm just Buster: over it Rio: Aren't we all Rio: I'm sick of this family using him as an excuse to be fucked Buster: You can't blame them 'cause he ain't exactly blameless Rio: Focus on getting better Rio: like, why is he still here if he's so bad Rio: Just, whatever Buster: He ain't got anywhere else to go Buster: There's nothing heroic in it Rio: No, I mean Rio: why do we all put up with him Rio: and then hate him Rio: it's pathetic Buster: I don't Buster: Take it up with everyone else Rio: Good for you Buster: Don't get an attitude with me Rio: I'm going Buster: Good Rio: Prick Buster: What the fuck, Rio Rio: What? Buster: Why are you acting like this? Rio: Because it's all bullshit Buster: It's not my bullshit Rio: I know Rio: but you didn't have to say it was good I was going Buster: I thought you meant you were leaving Rio: Oh Rio: Sorry Rio: I'm just stressed Buster: I know, babe Buster: I'll come get you Rio: Indie ain't even here Buster: Where is she? Rio: Don't know Rio: she did a bunk about 15 minutes ago, apparently Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Did she take her phone back from you? Rio: Nope Buster: Talk to Drew, he's got everyone's number like Buster: Bound to have her mates or her lad Rio: Yeah Rio: Can't blame her frankly Buster: Me either but it'd be better if she'd got her phone off you first Buster: Then you could just drop her a text Rio: Fuck this Rio: Oh well Rio: Talk to you after Buster: Alright Buster: Rio? Buster: Talk to me Buster: It's been ages Buster: Are you okay? Buster: What the fuck? Buster: Everyone's going home so I guess will Buster: Babe Buster: You're scaring me now Buster: Seriously Buster: Come on Rio: I don't know what to say Buster: Tell me you're okay Rio: I'm not though Rio: Sorry Buster: What happened? Rio: Didn't your Mum say Buster: No Rio: Oh God Buster: I haven't seen her Buster: But now I'm losing my shit Rio: She might still be with Ro, actually Rio: someone was going to the house to clear out his things, maybe that was her Rio: I can't remember Buster: Did they have a domestic? Rio: Ha Rio: no, not quite Buster: What then? Rio: Depends who you ask Buster: I'm asking you Buster: What the fuck did he do? Rio: I went to talk to him like you said Rio: just about Indie Rio: but he was being funny and nice and then Rio: Idk, I can't even remember if it's how I'm saying or how they are now Buster: Rio, what did he do? Rio: We were kissing and his hands were everywhere and my Mum walked in and she just lost it Buster: He was kissing you, you mean Rio: That's what I'm saying, I can't remember Rio: but Ro said I must've started it because well Rio: I don't know why Buster: Bullshit Buster: You love me and you love Indie Buster: You wouldn't do that Rio: I didn't try to stop him Rio: he said if I had he would've stopped straight away so that means I was kissing him back at least doesn't it Buster: No Buster: I didn't stop Chlo but that doesn't mean I wanted to be with her, you know that Rio: I wasn't even tipsy though Rio: What the fuck is wrong with me Buster: It doesn't matter, babe Buster: He fucking cornered you in your own house Rio: He's going to tell everyone about us Rio: they didn't let him say much because Mum was going to kill him and Ro was hysterical but I know he will Buster: He won't 'cause I'm gonna kill him first Buster: Where is he, do you know? Rio: I don't know where anyone is Rio: all busy salvaging from my mess Buster: His Buster: Not yours Buster: Where are you? Rio: I'm such a baby person what if Ro's baby dies from the stress Rio: what if she gets so depressed she doesn't look after it Buster: Stop Buster: My mum is with her she's not gonna let anything else happen Rio: The worst already has Rio: I've ruined her life Buster: You haven't done anything wrong Rio: I have Rio: I tried to fuck Drew at her baby shower Buster: Don't Buster: He did that to you Buster: All you were trying to do was find Indie Rio: Indie Rio: What are they going to tell Indie Rio: what's he Rio: and I don't even know what to tell her to rebuff it so why wouldn't she believe him Buster: Baby, I need you to breathe right now, for me, yeah? Buster: Tell me who's with you Rio: I don't think anyone is Rio: I'm scared, Buster Buster: I'm coming over Buster: Keep talking to me until I can get there, okay Rio: I can't see you Rio: He's ruined it he's ruined everything Buster: I love you Buster: I need to see that you're okay Buster: I need to make sure you are Rio: I'm so far from fucking okay Rio: I'm a mess Buster: All the more reason for me to be there Rio: You don't get it Rio: I've always been a mess Buster: Everyone is Buster: I'm the biggest mess going Rio: You said it yourself Rio: he knows how to pick 'em Buster: Shut up Buster: He doesn't get to choose you Rio: He was saying so much stuff Rio: stuff he shouldn't know about me no one should Buster: Tell me Rio: I don't think I can Buster: You have to Buster: Who else is there? Rio: I think Lottie and Meena are here, with their kids, and keeping an eye on the rest Rio: Mum and Nan went to find my Dad and your Ma and Nance went with Ro Buster: That's not what I meant Buster: You're not gonna tell them Buster: So its me or nobody Buster: Don't keep his secrets for him Buster: He barely did Rio: I don't even want to think about it Rio: never mind say it Rio: I want to forget the whole thing Buster: I know you do Buster: But that's not gonna happen Buster: I'm sorry but it won't Rio: It's so Rio: embarrassing doesn't cover it but that's all I can say when all the stuff he knows, anyone could Rio: really Rio: it's not like he had to try hard to get the info Buster: He knows things about you, he doesn't know you Buster: If he did he'd know you don't want him to do that shit to you Rio: He said he reckoned I was ready for the real thing Buster: He's full of shit Buster: What the fuck is that even meant to mean? Rio: He heard what I call you Rio: 'cos I fucking let him Rio: you know Buster: He's such a sick fuck Rio: I am Rio: what doesn't turn me on Buster: He doesn't Buster: And he knows that Rio: Clearly not Buster: You've made it clear enough times Buster: He should only need to hear it once Rio: It's all part of the game isn't it Buster: It's not a game, babe Buster: None of this is Rio: It shouldn't be but Buster: It isn't Buster: Listen to me Rio: What Buster: Don't let him in your head like this Rio: How can I think of anything else Buster: That's why you need to talk about it Buster: If you can't now then later but Buster: It's not his fucking story to twist it happened to you Rio: It's better for everyone if it was me Rio: it's too much Buster: It's not better for you Buster: And you're the only one I care about Rio: Why Buster: Why what? Rio: Why do you care about me or like me Buster: I love you Buster: I know he can't make you forget that Rio: I know but I don't know why Buster: You're smart and funny and beautiful Buster: You care so much about everyone and everything and you make me feel not only like I'm not a piece of shit but that I'm actually good Buster: You're literally the most generous person I've ever met in my life Buster: With your time too, like Buster: You're always saving me when I should be saving you Rio: I'm glad I make you feel like that Rio: you are good Buster: So are you Buster: You're so good, Rio Rio: I really don't mean to do the wrong thing Buster: And you really haven't Buster: He fucked up, not you Rio: I wanna believe you Rio: but also everything is so bad now it doesn't even matter Rio: and it's only going to get worse Buster: Of course it matters Buster: You matter more than anything Rio: Everyone hates me now except you Buster: No they don't Buster: They love you Rio: Nah Buster: If they hated you it wouldn't be such a mess Buster: You'd just be gone Buster: Like he'll be Rio: I don't wanna deal with this Rio: can we go somewhere Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm stuck in traffic but its moving Rio: I mean forever Rio: or I'll just curl up into a ball and die Buster: You can come to London with me Buster: But that's as far as I can go right now Rio: I know that really Rio: I can't think straight or work out any actual plan right now Buster: You don't have to Buster: I can't think straight either and he didn't do it to me so Rio: I'm sorry Rio: I didn't want to tell you but I had to too Rio: can't expect my Ma to do that like she is my Da 'cos I can't fucking look at him Buster: Don't ever fucking say sorry Buster: Not for this Buster: I'm sorry that this happened to you Buster: I should've been there Rio: You can't always be there Buster: Well then, I should've stopped him before now Rio: You can't do that either Rio: it's not your fault Buster: I could've Buster: I could've broken both his arms and then he'd never be able to touch you Rio: Buster Buster: Don't Buster: It's better than the alternative of sitting in traffic crying which is all I can fucking do now Rio: I don't know what to say Buster: You don't have to say anything Buster: Not for my benefit Rio: I wish this wasn't happening to you though Buster: Well, I wish it hadn't happened to you Rio: I love you, you know Buster: Yeah, I do Buster: I love you too Rio: I'm going to be able to fix this Rio: aren't I Buster: There's nothing you need to fix Buster: But it won't always be this bad, I promise Rio: Come on Rio: There's plenty Rio: everything is basically fucked Buster: But none of it is your fault Buster: You can't fix everyone else for them Rio: Who else will, babe Buster: They'll either do it or they won't Buster: It ain't your job Rio: I'm so tired Buster: I know, baby Rio: I can't live like this Buster: Tell me what I can do Buster: If you wanna leave, we'll leave Rio: Maybe I should just fuck off somewhere Rio: for a bit Buster: Do you not want me there? Rio: Of course I do Rio: I mean a bit more long term though Rio: you've got to go back to School Buster: Fuck school Buster: I wanna be with you Rio: You need School, babe Buster: You need me and I need you Rio: Maybe I'll come to London Rio: what if Ro does though, 'cos what the fuck is she gonna do now Rio: I've got to avoid her forever Buster: No you don't Rio: you didn't hear her Rio: she definitely hates me Buster: I didn't have to Buster: He's just headfucked her like he tried to do with you Rio: he's going to want his flat back isn't he Rio: where am I gonna go, back to my parents, fuck Buster: I'll get you a new one Buster: Here or in London, wherever you want Rio: Don't be ridiculous Buster: I'm serious Rio: You can't just do that Rio: we can't can we Buster: Of course I can Buster: I was gonna sort one for Chlo and I can't stand her Rio: I don't know Rio: sounds too good to be true Buster: Trust me Buster: I'm not gonna let you down again, okay Rio: You haven't Buster: That ain't true but it will be Rio: It is! Buster: I've let you down loads of times, today is just the worst one Rio: Shut up Rio: You don't owe me anything Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I mean it Rio: you can't be taking any blame for any of this Buster: I do though Buster: Only my share but still Rio: No Buster: Come on Rio: No, I'm serious Rio: this is going to fuck with so many people Rio: not you too, I can't handle it Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I'm not trying to upset you Rio: I don't care about me, just don't be sad Buster: I care about you Buster: I'd do anything for you, you know that Rio: Just stay you Rio: that's all I want Buster: I promise Rio: Good Buster: Are you letting me in or coming out? Rio: Come out, only your Dad should be home, right? Rio: I can't face anyone yet Buster: Fuck knows where he is Rio: Just make up an excuse and I'll apologise to them later Rio: I can't be here and I can't go to the flat Buster: We can go anywhere, my car's full Rio: It'll all be better in Skerries, yeah? Buster: It can't be worse Buster: And it'll just be me and you Rio: Yeah? Rio: You know, we're going to have to tell people we're together Rio: or they'll probably phone the garda like I'm a suicide risk if they reckon I'm on my own Buster: I'll sort it Buster: Do you need me to get anything from the flat for you before we go? Rio: Something comfortable and baggy and not this fucking stupid dress Buster: Easy Buster: I'll go there now Rio: Have you seen my wardrobe? Harder than it should be Buster: I've left more than enough stuff there to make it work Buster: Which is just as well if I don't wanna drive back that way again to pack Rio: Yeah, I don't care Rio: I don't much feel like being a person anyway Buster: Anything we don't have I'll buy it Rio: I'm sorry, this is so stupid Rio: Are you sure I'm not being a pussy? Do I have to stay and face this now Buster: No Buster: We're going Rio: Okay Rio: I was hoping you'd say that Buster: I know what you need, babe, that's never gonna change Rio: I love you Rio: I wish I was better for you Buster: You're the best Buster: I love you so much Buster: Whatever else you are, you're perfect for me Rio: You're so nice Buster: And honest Buster: So believe it Rio: I'll try, like Buster: Good

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