#they're also still completely unaware that they have a positive opinion of each other

[franeridan]

came to the conclusion that the reason why aventio has such a strong hold on me these days is that they're the highest purest greatest dumbest form of "I have feelings for you" (that feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it before) and I find that stupidly compelling atm

[auranecho]

* WRITING ABOUT MY SILLY GUYS actually just copying this from the Twitter post about it and adding some more details but shhh

The Lodowick Institute yipeee !!!

MARI KEMMI: Mari of course is our Archivist , and an avatar of The Eye . she is very paranoid and untrusting (trauma and The Eye both influencing this) . she is considered a prodigy , graduating college when she was 19 . she is extremely smart , but the trauma and also her job lead to her being reclusive . people in faraway tend not to have the greatest opinion on mari , often finding her fairly unsettling . the green eye marks on her skin don't help , but she often covers them up with makeup when not at work or home . basil is who she trusts the least out of her coworkers . she is unaware of people's emotions and often is seen as blunt or rude . lives based on facts , it's hard for her to realize when she has hurt people .. she trusts almost nobody . she can't . it isn't safe , not after what happened to the last archivist . her friendship bracelet is missing the charm for basil .

BASIL MARIANI: Basil is the main archival assistant , and researcher when others are unavailable . he used to be more nervous and shy , but since becoming a Spiral avatar , has become much more energetic and.. annoying . they lie very frequently , and always seem positive to an unnerving extent . he has few friends . he and stranger do not often get along , but they have a sense of respect and responsibility for each other . basil's only real friend is kel , who they refuse to tell the truth behind their nature to . loneliness has become their norm . he wishes the friend group was together again . nobody trusts them . he isn't ever to be trusted . their friendship bracelet is completely intact .

STRANGER MARIANI: when basil is not fronting , stranger takes over as archival assistant . it speaks very cryptically most of the time , especially when talking about he and basil's childhood , or The Dark . they're much quieter than basil is , and have a fairly monotone voice . stranger likes the kemmi siblings , they're his favorite people to talk to , and they both like him as well . stranger does not know kel is living under the institute . it believes kel is dead , as does nearly everyone else .

HERO FLORES: Hero is the only person mari trusts , and the head of artifact storage . spiders love her and serve as excellent ways to gain information , but he hates them . hero can " subconsciously manipulate " people , essentially things she tells people to do , they are compelled to do it . hero rarely leaves the institute , has barely left ever since her brother died . he has mari there to help process things , but tends to keep things to herself . hates going home , the stress from family gets to be a lot . he is uneasy around both basil and stranger . she keeps to herself a lot more since the "death" of kel , but is trying to still be there for everyone else . his friendship bracelet is missing the charms for basil and aubrey .

KEL FLORES: kel , as seen above , is considered dead . an unknown parasitic/fungal(?) infection killed him , but just days before the funeral , his body disappeared . nobody (except basil and polly) know what happened to him . kel became the host of a mushroom hivemind and he now lives underneath the institute . basil is his only visitor , and the only one who would even consider risking getting infected by the mushrooms . the mushrooms now growing out of kel can spread to others , growing rapidly once spread . they're easy to remove , but certainly painful . best to avoid him . his friendship bracelet went missing some time after his death and his body's disappearance , but before he began to live under the tunnels .

AUBREY BURKE: aubrey is part of the cult of the lightless flame (the hooligans .) she was born into it , her mother having been a member long before any of the newer ones . aubrey was born in the flames of The Desolation , her becoming an avatar something pushed on her since her very conception . aubrey's existence is for the cult . she takes pride in this fact , though despite it all , they wish they could've had a normal life .... her eyes glow with the light of a deadly fire , and it's said that looking at them alone could burn you . obviously , that part is an exaggeration , but as a result of her reason for being , she radiates with painful heat . she had only a few years of normalcy , her life now entirely consumed by the cult . during aubrey's brief time of normalcy , they met kim . their friendship grew into something more , and ended up being a main reason why kim eventually joins the cult , the rest of the group one by one joining as well . all the charms on their friendship bracelet have been replaced with ones for her close friends in the cult .

SUNNY KEMMI: sunny was (accidentally) captured by the circus of the other , where he was meant to be used as part of a ritual to bring The Stranger into the world . sunny escaped before the ritual began , though not after being basically turned to plastic . he has skin still , but it is not his . sunny doesn't know he's dead . he was told he was , but didn't believe it . after returning home , it was a major shock for faraway . a rumor started spreading that mari had built a sort of robotic replica of her brother out of grief from his 3 month disappearance . nobody corrects the rumors . how would anyone explain it ? sunny's friendship bracelet was broken during his time in the circus . he kept the broken charms .

MINCY AHN: mincy does any job around the institute . secretary work ? sure . HR ? yep . hell , she even manages the social media stuff . they're a jack of all trades , likes to busy herself with work so people don't talk to them . clouds of fog tend to linger around her . the only one mincy willingly talks to is cris , her girlfriend . mincy lives almost completely in solitude , she moved out of her house as soon as she turned 18 , and into a small apartment on her own . the only company she has is an orange cat . it reminds her of cris .

CRIS FAIRCHILD: cris is very peppy and extroverted , but .. still fairly dangerous . her love of the ocean led to obsession , and maybe a little bit of a murderous streak ... (yeah she throws people into the ocean .) she is related to the fairchilds , though has never met her biological family . she was technically adopted , but her last name stayed the same . (i have very little written about her , sorry)

HAZEL LODOWICK

POLLY CAMBRIDGE: polly is the head of the institute . she is near omniscient , and doesn't really .. tell anyone . due to the omniscience , she knows just about everything about the institute employees , and keeps an eye on them and keeps them as safe as she can . mostly . she not only is the head of the institute , but technically the founder . she has been around since the late 1700s , and founded the institute sometime in the 1800s . her original body brings life to the institute , and her consciousness transferring from body to body as she desires . she is also still basil's caretaker . basil's grandmother was the old archivist , not that basil knew this . polly and basil's grandmother had a fight over the future of the institute , which led to polly killing her . she aims to never let basil know .

AAAAAND THAT'S ALL THE MAIN GUYS !!!

Jjesus christ so many tags

[ooc-themis-cattails]

Today I was listening to a speaker who said, "We talk about the separation of church and state," and went on to talk about the separation of church and school.

Whoa! For her this was an obvious mental leap. For me it was a completely different island. In contemporary society, we have schools run by either church or state. And we have schools not run by either, which might be the best way.

I've been in both, and honestly I was more brainwashed by public school. (For the record, I had a wonderful experience in Catholic school; I felt like the teachers treated us better and cared more about our overall well-being; but I know this isn't a universal thing. If you're thinking about replying with how much you hate Catholic school, don't bother, I've heard it a thousand times already. I'm not saying your school was good; I'm saying mine was. Moreover I'm saying that my public state-run school, though it was considered a good school in a state that ranks with high standards, was awful.)

When I was in convent school, it was obvious and deliberate when they taught their biases; they owned it, acknowledged it, and even though they wanted us to agree with them, they wanted us to know that their bias was part of their Catholicism and special to it. They wanted us to be part of that, but they wanted us to do it deliberately, with intention. We knew why it was there and what it was about. That meant that we could leave it behind if we wanted, because we knew what it was.

On the other hand, public educators think they're objective but are often unaware of their own biases. There are still all kinds of poltical and legal pressures on what they teach-- not just sanitized history, but all kinds of special interests behind the scenes; not just political issues, but corporate interests too. It's crawling with pressures and biases that claim to be objective because not partisan. And some of that is because it's run by the government, although some of it is just that everyone's biased and you have to be taught by somebody.

Yet public schools project an attitude of false objectivity. I came away from public high school with specific ideas about what my civic duty had to be and what kind of adult I was supposed to be, and it took me decades to locate them, to deconstruct those attitudes and realize that they just came from influences at school, and that the reason they didn't sit well with me or work well in my life were that they were just biases and opinions, and not necessarily the truth of society or how it had to be run. Because the influences were there, but everyone is super in denial of them, and there's this idea that public school works really hard to be free of bias, and not a whole lot of admission that it badly, perhaps inevitably, fails.

Couldn't we give kids a little bit of each? There are strong positive arguments to be made for having kids spend some time in state-run schools-- just as there are also strong positive arguments to be made for church schools. But maybe kids shouldn't be going exclusively to state schools, especially if state schools are trying so hard to be unbiased that they give kids the impression that they really are. Yet.. I imagine that private non-religious academies aren't unbiased either.

Maybe the right thing to be doing is having kids learn from multiple schools that are not all run by the same school board or the same district. There is an argument against forcing them to change schools and split up with their peers, but if there were some kind of rotation system where entire classes moved together, it would be no different from what we have now. And I certainly would not object to having them all spend a given year at state schools, and having them spend time in private schools of their parents' choice (religious or not), because these things are also education that people suffer from missing out on.

We can't remove the bias from schools, but we can make sure they get more than one competing bias. And state schools are biased for sure-- towards the whitewashing of our nation and government-- in ways that I know public history teachers personally chafe at being required to follow.

[luvlyrv]

Uncover | Seulgi x F!Reader

Genre/warnings: fluff, angst, homophobia (religious)

Summary: You quickly learn that while it was easy to be dishonest with yourself, it was nearly impossible to lie to Seulgi.

Word Count: 4.7k A/N: This has been something wracking up in my brain since June. It's kind of embarrassing that it's taken this long but it's a lovechild of my emotions. Enjoy, and I hope you feel things.

Date: 9/21/21

You can't imagine a day without her, because she's always been there. Right from the day you could remember. You bet that she could be your last memory too.

Your first memory has you sitting in the living room playing with your toys as you anxiously eye the other child in the room. Some strangers had rung your doorbell and your mom and dad had welcomed them into the house. Now they were in the kitchen, their voices blending into each other in the background.

The small girl in front of you decided to take the liberty of picking up your toys and playing with them. She ran around playing in the imaginary world in her head. You think that she's having fun and that you want to have fun too, but you can't seem to move from your position. As you slowly try to build up the courage to talk to her she approaches you.

She had been glancing at you from the corner of her eyes too. She watched your shy self idly playing all alone. She found it hard to approach you, scared of you pushing her away or being mean, but she thought maybe it was worth it. You could be a friend.

"Hi!" The strange girl is right in front of you with one of your stuffed toys in hand. "Do you want to play with me? I'm Seulgi!"

"I'm Y/N…"

For the rest of the hour the two of you chased each other in a shared adventure. Enraptured in your own little wonderland until your parents had to pull you apart.

Soon it became a ritual for those strangers, who you later learned to be Mr. and Mrs. Kang, to visit your house. Along them was always their daughter Seulgi, who wouldn't hesitate to pull you into a large hug right before starting a new adventure with you.

You slightly trail behind your best friend. You smile at yourself from the sight of Seulgi happily skipping, somehow filled with even more vigor than she usually has. She's always been filled with much more energy than you, amazed by even the smallest of things. You suppose something truly spectacular must be happening today for her to feel so extra. She turns her head over to look at you, flashing you her perfect smile with her perfect cheeks. The ones you always want to squish when you remind her of how cute she is.

She continues to bounce but slows down to be by your side. One of the favorite parts of your day, and hopefully hers too, would be the peaceful walk the two of you would always share before and after school. It always reminded you of how close you are. How you can always rely on her to listen and to brighten up your day.

She bites her lip while still smiling. She must be thinking about something.

"What's got you so excited today?" You ask her with a giggle.

"Guess!" She pesters leaning into you. A familiar feeling emerges in your chest from the contact.

"You know I'm really bad at guessing…"

"Well why can't you try?"

"All I know is that it has to be something really special, right?" You decide to lean back and push her a little as a tease.

"It is! Mom and dad bought me my favorite ice cream that we can share later today!"

You laugh at her as she continues giving her dumb smile. Seulgi moves in front of you with her eyebrows raised, waiting to hear your opinion about the news.

"Is that it?" You ask still laughing. She pouts a little.

"What do you mean 'is that it'? It's my favorite! And I get to share it with you!" With that you pull Seulgi in for a side hug.

"I'm kidding, I'm excited too."

You enjoy listening to whatever nonsense Seulgi thinks about and decides to spill to you as you guys continue walking. You feel a bit disheartened at the sight of the school building, but looking at Seulgi again is enough to make the disappointment go away.

As much as you wish it did, your schedule wasn't entirely with your best friend. Instead you had to split up as you entered the school grounds to your different classes. Fortunately you shared at least some classes with her, and most importantly lunch. So when you sit down at your desk with nobody talking to you, you don't feel too lonely. The anticipation of being reunited with Seulgi was enough for you.

As usual Seulgi finds your figure sitting down at a lunch table and immediately rushes towards you. She taps your shoulder as she sits down, hurriedly opening up her lunch box, her beastly appetite striking again.

"Oooh." She oogles as the both of you breathe in the sudden aroma of homemade food. You peer over to look at the contents of her lunch box. You swore that you can see the steam coming off of her rice.

"Open up!" Seulgi playfully demands of you. You oblige as she not so carefully throws a grape your way. It would've been lost if you didn't move your head to make up for the completely inaccurate trajectory.

"How are you still bad at this?" You ask her after chewing.

"Maybe I just like to see you work for your food." You laugh at her response as you carefully pick up a spring roll from your box and place it in hers.

"Mom fried it this morning so you better enjoy."

You enjoy the long-time tradition of sharing food and eating in relative silence. That time was short lived though as a small group of girls joined your table. You didn't mind them much, you'd even consider them casual friends. At the same time though, they were bothering you.

You found it strange that despite finally being with Seulgi you felt so lonely. So lost.

Seulgi's popular, you know that. A lot of people try to befriend her and fight for her attention. Being the social butterfly she is she never hesitated to say hello back and return the friendliness. By proxy you met a lot of nice people, a lot of not so nice people, and more. They never really stuck by for you though. They stayed for Seulgi.

You wish you understood why you were so bothered by those that stayed. Why you were always feeling jealous recently. You wonder if it's natural to feel so intensely sick when you watch your best friend's attention be pulled away by several different girls at a time, or laugh at a guys joke. Well, maybe you do know why.

You quietly sigh and push the thought away, instead trying to join in the chatter and laugh with everyone at the table. Just as you were about to calm down and ease into the group a sudden large group of guys and girls approach. One boy in particular seems to be leading the pack. You purse your lips as you silently watch them come over. Seulgi absent-mindedly continues talking, completely unaware of what was about to occur.

You tighten your hands into a ball as a feeling bubbles inside you. You can't place what it is. Is it fear? Anger? Jealously? It's probably both.

The boy also tightens his hands as they grip onto his shirt. You watch him bite his lip and see how a red color crawls up his neck and reaches the tips of his ears. You hold in a breath as he finally arrives at the table and Seulgi looks up at him.

"S-Seulgi." He barely manages to say her name aloud.

"Huh?" She looks at him cluelessly but gives him her full attention anyways.

"I like you! A lot! So if you can, please go out with me!" The boy's words spill out, as if his mouth was a floodgate holding them back. He reaches behinds him and quickly bends over to give Seulgi a piece of red paper, shaped like a heart. He probably wrote about his feelings extensively on it.

Your eyes had been focused on the love-stricken boy. It's hard for you to move your eyes towards Seulgi. You realize now what you're feeling. You fear what you'll see when you look over at Seulgi to see her reaction.

You notice that she's red too, the color slowly blossoming across her cheeks.

Why does this hurt you?

"Erm, ah, thank you." She says out of politeness and bows back. She gives him a smile and that seems to excite him. "I'll think about your confession."

He eagerly nods his head and leaves the table, happy with the results of his actions. The crowd around him seem to think that was a good ending and started whispering and congratulating him. You look back at your table and the girls are murmuring too.

"He's cute, you should definitely go for him!"

"I heard he treated his last girlfriend nicely. They're still on good terms."

"I've never seen you date before. Isn't now your time to explore?"

Seulgi just takes it all in and nods along with what they say. Your head hangs low as you pick at your food. You don't dare look up. You're scared of seeing Seulgi's face again. You're scared that tears will start falling.

It was like the weight of the world had fallen on your chest.

When the bell dismisses you from lunch you quickly go to your next class. You don't say goodbye to Seulgi or any of the other girls. You feel the light graze of Seulgi's fingertips as she tries to stop you, but you're too fast.

The rest of the school day is you trying to focus on studying, and when your last class finishes you're not sure what you'll do. Everybody leaves the classroom before you as you take some time for yourself. Breathing in and out, you mentally prepare yourself to face Seulgi, as if she was some type of monster.

As you exit the building and get near the gates you see a swarm of people with Seulgi in the center. They're probably there to ask about how she feels about the confession that happened. You sigh and almost contemplate leaving without her, but her eyes quickly find yours. Seulgi politely but abruptly says her goodbyes and runs towards you.

As Seulgi's figure grows nearer there's a feeling of satisfaction. It was like you had won some petty fight, and that feeling was able to erase the fear and nerves you had earlier. A smile grows on your face she reaches your side, your bodies automatically matching your steps. You enjoy the warmth when she locks her arm with yours. Not knowing what to say, you let silence fill the space in between the two of you until Seulgi decided to break it.

"So, do you wanna stay at my place for a bit so we can eat that ice cream?"

Seulgi's keys jingle as she unlocks her front door. You follow in after her, putting your shoes away as she dashes towards her refrigerator to retrieve the ice cream from the freezer. You walk up towards her as she hands one to you. Naturally, both of you make your way outside into her backyard.

Her backyard is quaint, housing a nice garden that her mother often tends and one large tree. The two of you rest under it, appreciating the winding arms of the apple tree that has always given you and Seulgi refuge. You enjoy the taste of the ice cream, perhaps the shade was enhancing its flavor. Either way you understood why its Seulgi's favorite. The refreshing taste and Seulgi's presence puts a smile on your face. You feel yourself opening up again as you guys joke and talk about your day in between bites and licks. By the time you finish eating your ice cream she had managed to convince you that she needed your extra help in math. As always you agreed to tutor her.

She argues that you should stay underneath the tree as she gets up to throw away the trash. You watch as she goes back inside the house, coming out again with a shiny apple in hand that was picked only a couple days ago. You laugh a little as you ask,

"Still hungry?"

"Enough for a little snack."

She sits by you and takes a rest on your lap. You brush her hair away as you look into her eyes. You can tell she's thinking about something.

"What's wrong?" You ask her.

"Well, I was just wondering, why were you upset earlier?" She says in a serious tone.

"Huh?"

"You didn't even say goodbye at lunch, and don't pretend I didn't notice you almost leaving without me." There's a hint of hurt in her voice. You feel bad for not keeping your emotions in check better, that you threw a fit over something so small.

"Well," Your voice trails off as your mind struggles to think of a response, "what does that boy mean to you?" You decide to ask.

"Oh so now you want to know about that too?" There's only a slight annoyance in her voice as she gives you an eyeroll.

"I'm your best friend, of course I'm curious." Seulgi huffs at your response. She can't blame you for wondering so she takes a moment to think before answering honestly.

"I mean, I guess they weren't wrong. He's kinda cute, and I know it took a lot for him to say that to me. I admire him for it." She said it in a casual manner, as if it wasn't a big deal. Yet for you it meant everything. And it hurt.

You can't control the frown that found its way on your face.

"Hey…" Seulgi quickly gets up from your lap. She has a confused expression as her eyes scans yours. "Hey, what's wrong?" Her voice is soft as she puts a hand on your shoulder.

Your chest is about to explode.

"Do you like him or something?" She continues to grip onto your shoulder with a confused face. She thinks she was the one who did something wrong. That she's stealing someone away from you, but that was so different from the truth.

"No, Seulgi, I-" You pause to think about what you're going to say. Something was about to come out instinctively, and you don't know whether or not that was the best decision.

"You what?"

She presses you for an answer but you're still thinking. You're thinking about you know you can't handle her possibly being close to someone else. To share all of her laughs with that boy. To smile at him and spend time with him. To do all the things that exists between you and her. Living would feel wrong if you were no longer the one she ran to and spilled her secrets to.

Who are you if not Seulgi's biggest and only confidant? The only one who could soothe her in her darkest moments? The one who understands every feeling and thought just by the way she blinks?

You're intimately familiar with the feeling in your chest now. You think that you know what it is too, but that doesn't make you hate it any less. If you could, you'd sacrifice every fiber of your being to forget that feeling and throw it away. To pretend it doesn't exist. But your wishes don't make it go away.

You can be dishonest with yourself, but it's impossible to lie to Seulgi. Not when she looks at you like that.

"I like you."

The words are barely a whisper but she hears. Seulgi's hand falls off your shoulder and you want to cry again. You said the wrong thing. She was going to think you're disgusting. She would never go on a walk with you again. You'll never smell her perfume again. You'll never hear her laughter again. She'd never touch you again. Never speak to you again.

Her mouth is open slack. Your eyes water and you breathe in, readying yourself to apologize profusely. To rescind the blasphemous words that slipped out of your foul mouth.

"I'm so sorry. Just ignore it. I take it back. I think I'm sick or something, you know, delirious. Just ignore it please. Please." Tears begins to fall down your face as Seulgi seemingly snaps back to reality. She reaches towards you, taking your face in her hands as her thumbs swipe away the tears.

"Oh my god, no, don't cry." She begs you to stop, but you can't.

"I-I'm, I'm sorry." The tears continue to make their way down your face. A horrible sickness wells in your stomach and suddenly it feels below freezing as you shake uncontrollably.

"No, don't be." She hugs you tight and whispers in your ear. "I like you too. So stop crying. For me, please." She strokes your back as you cry, hoping that the touch could settle you down.

It takes a while for you to register what she says, but as soon as you do your body seizes up. You think that maybe your everything, your soul, has shattered into a million pieces from Seulgi's words. How in the world could it be true? It couldn't be, not in this universe, not in this timeline.

Yet it was.

When Seulgi hears your sniffling stop and your body letting go of its tension she separates her body from yours. Her eyes are all you can see, and all you can see in them is pain.

"I'm sorry for making you worried." You felt guilty that she had to see you cry. The outburst at school wasn't great either.

"Don't worry about it" She reassures you by taking a hand in hers, stroking it with her delicate fingers to show you her affection. For several moments you allow yourself to breathe. Seulgi also took the time to process everything, and the two of you stared at each other with the new understanding of your feelings. Time seems to pass so slowly when you observe each other with care.

"Seulgi…" You mumble when what felt like years passed. She understood what you meant when she saw the way you looked at her lips.

In that moment you couldn't care anymore. Neither could Seulgi, it seemed, as you pressed your lips on hers and she pressed back. Greedily, the two of you dived in for a taste. Your lips on hers, her tongue in your mouth, it was something you needed. It was a flavor you could relish forever, perhaps this is what sin tasted like. Yes, this is what they'd call it. A sin.

It feels like everything has changed, but at the same time it hasn't. You still spend every second possible with Seulgi. You spend your time doing the same things. Yet everything feels so different, it feels brand new. Magically, it feels better than before. Is this the power that Seulgi has over you?

Nobody knows, nobody needs to know. After all, you're still Seulgi's bestfriend. Is there really anything different? Maybe just the tighter hugs, the kisses, and the alluring smiles, but that's all. Life is easy this way.

After bidding Seulgi goodbye in front of her house you go home to eat dinner with your family. You come home and greet your parents with a smile as you rush to join them at the dinner table. They share that smile as they take note of your enthusiasm recently. As you eat quietly for a while your mom finally asks you what's been going on to make you shine so much.

"Well..." You debate on what to say. It's been over a month since you confessed to Seulgi but you were still feeling high. You've been holding it for so long you wished you could tell someone. Why not them? You want them to be happy with you too. "I've been dating Seulgi."

"Hm?" Your mom asks you somewhat aggressively for clarification. The sudden stillness in the air alarms you. You look up from your food to see your mom staring as your dad stops eating.

"I-I told her I liked her and she liked me back." You say hoping to clear whatever confusion was occuring. Yet the look on your parents didn't fade.

"What happened?" You father's question sounds more like a statement as he sternly places his utensils down.

"What do you mean what happened? I just told you."

"What happened to make you like this?" His cold voices breaks a little as you notice his eyes tearing up. Was he seriously upset about this?

"You're joking, right?" Your mom joins in with an angry tone.

"Of course I'm not. Mom, she makes me really happy." You struggle to keep yourself composed under the scrutiny of both of your parents.

"Y/N. You are not happy. You're messing with the devil right now and he's fucking up your mind."

"Have you not been doing your prayers?"

You can barely fight for yourself at the dinner table. Your parents argue with and over you, about the causes and the whys. About the signs and what happens next. You cry as you watch your decision unfold into your nightmare.

You knew deep down inside this would happen, but you hoped and prayed that it wasn't true. Perhaps Seulgi made you too happy, too brave. Everything else felt like it was going right so you convinced yourself this would too. You've flown too close to the sun and it backfired. You should've never said anything.

As you try to block out the fight unraveling in front of you you could only scream one thing while crying. "Wouldn't God want to love me? Wouldn't He want you to love me too?"

The scrape of the wooden chair echos as your mom shoots up straight. "I will not house some heathen under my roof. Get out until you realize what you've done to this family."

It's raining. The relentless torrent of water against your body traps in the coldness from the night, leaving you shivering as your feet move on their own. They move to the only other place that feels like home. The only other person that feels like home.

Soon enough you find yourself in front of a familiar door, incessantly knocking. Muffled footsteps come from the other side of the door as you hear locks being undone until the door finally opens. Instantly there's a look of worry on Mr. Kang's face as he takes in the scene in front of him. He quickly ushers you in and shuts the door.

"Who is it?" A voice rings from upstairs.

"It's Y/N!" Mr. Kang yells back, and soon enough you hear a flurry of footsteps coming downstairs. Seulgi, in her tired glory, appears. She rushes towards you as her father went off to find you some towels to dry off with.

"Oh my god, what happened? Why are you here? Are you okay?" Seulgi's honey eyes are glistening with worry. She doesn't seem to care too much about the fact that you're soaked as she embraces you in a hug. Her body soothes you, its warmth penetrating the cold, wet clothes that clung to your body. You let her ground you back to reality before speaking.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now." You barely manage to get the words out. Your throat feels tight, constricted. Throughout the entire time the tears haven't stopped running down your face as it mixed with the rain water. Seulgi rubs your back as her father comes back. Both of them begin patting you dry.

It feels a bit pathetic as you have two people fretting over you so much, but you're too tired to move. Maybe not even tired, but rather stuck in your own thoughts.

"Go get her something to change into. Are you gonna stay the night?" Her dad asks after making Seulgi go back upstairs to find clothes. You just nod in response and follow her.

When you enter Seulgi's room you find her hastily going through her drawers, finding something comfortable for you to wear. After digging through her clothes she hands you some sweatpants and an oversized shirt, much like her own outfit she was sporting. Your hands are in front of you and holding onto the clothing, yet you still can't seem to move much. Instead your lips tremble as you look at the floor. Seulgi sighs as she nears you, unfolding the clothes and looking at your trembling hands.

"Don't make me dress you." She half-teases. When she realizes you can't will yourself to move a grim line stretches across her face. She wonders what has gotten you so riled up to act this way.

Carefully, she removes your clothes and throws them into the laundry pile. Her fingers innocently skim your body as she puts on the clothes for you, with you doing the minimal movements required to help her. Over the years she's already been more than familiar with your body, and the same for you with her touch. Although you can't vocalize it you silently appreciate the care and intimacy she demonstrates.

Soon enough she finishes though and pulls you towards her bed. Sitting you down she places herself behind you after grabbing a dry towel. She begins to dry your hair while letting you stay silent. Another thing you appreciated about her. She let you take your time.

"Seulgi..." Your voice croaks out as if you've aged several decades.

"Yes?" She stops drying off your hair, instead placing the towel down as she wraps her arms behind you and leans forward.

"They know." She doesn't say anything but her body is still for a minute. Afterwards she finishes drying off your hair, at least one of you can stay calm in this situation. That's what you need. "They told me to come back when I come to my senses."

"It's okay. Everything will be okay. We'll figure something out." You let her guide you down on her bed. Your crying had stopped a while back, but the shock coursing through your body didn't. As Seulgi pulled up the sheets and began to hold you you turned around and looked at her. You looked into the eyes that told you everything. Right now they told you that all Seulgi had on her mind was you.

So you think that you should only think of Seulgi too, because you can always forget about the consequences when you're with her. With a kiss on your forehead she tells you to sleep. She gets impossibly closer to you, holding you tight. Holding you as if you are her treasure.

The familiar trees and houses enter your view as you drive down your childhood neighborhood. Your fingers tap on the steering wheel as you listen to the song Seulgi played in the car. Out of the corner of your eye you see her smile at the thought of visiting her parents. It's enough to make you happy as well.

As you near her parent's house you pass by your own. It's been years since you've been inside, years since you even saw it. You're okay with it though, but your mind still wonders how your parents are doing. You wonder if the house is lonelier now, if they ever think about the sparse letters and phone calls you have exchanged and how they always were fights. Do they know you and Seulgi are coming to visit? Will they want to see you?

Whatever the answer is it doesn't matter. The only family you have to worry about is the girl right next to you and her parents. You feel thankful that she's your first love and hopeful that she's your last. Despite how many times your lives have separated you two, how you both dated other people and had your own quarrels, you guys came back to each other in the end. She changed you during your formative years and supported you as the two of you have grown up.

No one else can make you uncover these sides and feelings like she does.

[giorgiastastes]

El hoyo (2019)

"The message needs no carrier" (spoiler: it actually does)

"There are 3 kinds of people; the ones above, the ones below, and the ones who fall. "

I've just watched this small masterpieces and here's my own interpretation.

Obviously the whole movie is a big metaphor. Both an analogy about our society and one about the Afterlife are present.

First of all, in my view, the place they're kept into is like a Purgatory between heaven and hell. The protagonist entered there voluntary because after the six months trial he would have expiated his sins and would finally be ready to enter Heaven. The old man is an accidental killer, therefore he doesn't deserve Hell, but definitely can't go into Heaven either, and his punishment is longer than Goreng's because he did in fact end a life.

Also Goreng is referenced multiples times as the Messiah, and his travel towards this purge tower is quite similar to Dante's one.

Each prisoner wakes up the first day of the month in a different position, which represents our birth. Some are born in better environments, families and countries and all of it is just luck, fate.

Then, since everyone knows that each of higher floors will likely take advantage of their position, our selfishness takes the best of us.

The higher floors know that the lower ones will literally eat their leftovers, while the ones under know that they better take as much as they can, otherwise they won't be able to survive. There's no altruism or generosity in the society.

You're placed high, you sh*t on who's below. You're below, you dream to reach above.

Each of the characters represents something.

The first roommate, the old man, is someone who's very aware of their surrounding, who's tired of fighting and knows very well how the world works because he's been in a better as much as a worse situation.

The lady coming from the Administration is a middle class representative, trying to change the world but also completely unaware of what's happening right under her nose.

The fact that she keeps on saying that a baby cannot be there and there are 200 floors is just further proof that we blindly lie to ourselves that things can't be that bad, that the world isn't that evil and the rules are respect, being delusional of course, to help us sleep at night. That's why when she hits lower than what she was told was possible, she killed herself.

She's also a vegetarian, with a big love for animals. She obviously represents both an activist that is trying to tell others that they shouldn't eat more than they need, because that means that who's lower won't have anything left, which is such a big innuendo to climate change, but at the same time she's also a privileged person who's never been lower than a certain point and thinks that anyone can easily "just eat less" without caring about other's issues (it reminded me of some vegans who cannot accept that veganism is not accessible or sustainable for the majority of the would population)

The last roommate, the one with the rope represents a religious person, who endures the hardship without giving up because of his faith.

Another pragmatic sequence in my opinion was the one where the two, while descending the tower, met an ill man with a companion with the Down Syndrome (I'm sorry if I'm sounding insensitive is just that I don't know how else to better describe the scene to make it recognizable to you) who said that he will proceed to suffocate his cellmate to also eat what went into his stomach even while being no more hungry himself, I mean, can you better descrive greed than this sentence?

Now, coming to the final scene, which left many of the viewers disappoint or confused, here's my idea.

The deranged girl who claims to have a daughter is definitely crazy, but not completely gone. I do believe there is a baby there, and the Administration is probability unaware of that because there's someone higher than them, and they're being lied to, also. But I don't think the protagonist actually saw the little girl.

I think that he reached such a place of histeria that he convinced himself that the baby was alive, hallucinating, to have a last strand of hope as he was dying. Notice how the baby is perfectly clean and well nourished, that would be impossible. The little girl is long gone and dead God knows in which floor but he convinced himself that he saw her as a way of also hoping that some kind of humanity is still left, that they wouldn't kill and eat an innocent and innocuous creature. But that's not the case.

Notice how he reaches the 333th floor and then walks like he doesn't even have a scar. Now multiply that number for each room residents, which are two. He's dead and has now reached Hell. There he finds his first roommate who's also in Hell since they both damned themselves letting their selfishness take over. The lady is obviously absent, since she never hurt a thing or specifically ate someone's flesh.

The baby was all part of his imagination and she doesn't reach the 0 level, simply because she was never there in the first place.

The girl could have been the message if she reached the top, since it would have proven how flawed the system is, but she never will. Some people claimed that it is not possible to reach the top because of how fast the platform goes, that it will just crash on the ceiling. I do not agree. There's no point in letting the platform crash each time so it will probably slow down enough to reach level 0, in facts we don't even know how tall level 1 is.

Someone also claimed that it's impossible that no one else ever reached the top through this method, which means to go all the way down to then come back up. First of all, it could have happened and that person could have been sent back down, but what I find most reasonable is that no one knows how deep the hole is, probably up to hell, and no one is brave enough to do it because no matter how bad your situation is, you're still afraid of having it worse. It's a suicidal mission which led to crazyness and then death even our brave characters.

Another reference I've loved is when it's mentioned that usually the poorest kill each other's to survive, while the richest have the highest rate of suicide. Why is that? Easy, they have nothing to endure, to live for, they have everything, they're not longing for the hope of food plus there's frightening in knowing that the next month it can only worsen.

So now the question remains: What is the ending then if the baby doesn't reach the top? The finale guys was right in front of our eyes, around the middle of the movie. Remember when the chef complains to other cooks about the hair in the pannacotta? That's the real ending: the pannacotta reaches the top (further proof that the platform won't crash) as the message but instead of being interpreted as a statement of insurrection, the level 0 workers believe it was sent back because there was a hair in there. This is the ultimate slap in the face, the final proof that those people are so out of touch, so blind towards what's happening downstairs that they think that was the issue, the hair in the pannacotta, without realizing that people are literally eating each others down there.

So, there was actually a satisfying finale which gave us answers, it's just that the finale was not at the end as usual.

[cassandra-tangled]

{TL;DR for this post: everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions and ships but you should also respect and consider other's opinions and life experiences.}

{CW: I slightly reference childhood trauma and grooming in this post.}

Hey Tumblr fam. So, these photos were posted on the FB group earlier and have since been removed and honestly I feel the need to address this. For those of you who are unaware the person who tweeted this is a storyboarder for the show. I should definitely specify that this is not an attack on her or her tweets, but simply thoughts of mine that were sparked in response. I have nothing but admiration and respect for those who worked to create the show.

So, here's my take on this. First of all I want to make it clear that I am not trying to start a fight nor am I trying to disrespect anybody or any ship. Everyone has a right to do as they please and to ship what they want regardless of other's opinions. What they choose to pair and whatever moral ramifications that may have (in the cases of really extreme ships and not necessarily anything I talk about in this post) is completely, 100% on them and only them. And, as much as this show means to all of us at the end of the day they're fictional characters, so shipping them and whatnot should mostly be taken with a grain of salt. We should not be tearing anyone down over their ships. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion regardless of how others feel, and that means you--as it also means me.

That being said, here is my opinion. My opinion is that you have a right to ship whatever you want, but you should think about the implications your ship may have on others.

In this particular case I'm speaking of shipping adults and minors. I think in fandom we all know the divisive ship that I'm talking about. Now, once again, I would like to reiterate that what you ship is your business regardless of what I or others think. Your own opinions are your right. But, when it comes to shipping any minors (namely in this case, Varian) with adults, you should really think about the implications your ship may have.

People ship Varian with Raps and Eugene too, but if you've spent a second in fandom you know that the most popular Varian ship is Cassarian. I understand shipping Cassarian, in cases where it's aged up. No, really, I do. I'm not for it, it's not my ship and I don't ship it, but I understand why people do. It's no secret that their personalities compliment each other and are compatible--but this can mean different things. It can be platonic, or sibling-like, as I view it. Honestly, if Varian was 18 when the series started, I probably would ship it myself! But he wasn't, and that's the important part. He was only 14 when they met, and she was 22.

For me, personally, seeing Varian shipped with any adult (especially if he's not aged up, but even if he is) is extremely triggering. Without going into too much detail, I have a trauma in which I was groomed. I'm not saying that this is always the case with an age gap between two people who have known each other since one's childhood. I'm also not saying that this is the case with the Varian ships I'm referencing. But what I am saying is that when you're a victim of grooming, and you see a teenaged character kissing a grown ass adult--even if it's aged up, it feels like grooming. Regardless of intention. It screams at you about your past. I know that that is not the intention of any shipper in our fandom, I know that. But that doesn't change how it makes me feel. That doesn't change how it leaves a pang in my stomach every time something like that crosses my explore page.

This hits me especially hard in the case of Cassarian. I mean, she's my favorite character. She means the world to me, she really fucking does, and honestly Tangled is a huge coping mechanism for me to deal with the traumas I've experienced. So seeing Cass in a position which my mind, essentially, reads as child abuser? That's a whole different kind of blow. Once again, I'm not saying that this is what Cassarian shippers intend, at all. I'm simply stating that that's how it feels when I see it, because of my past.

This isn't about ship greed, or even age gaps in general. If you take one look at my page it's clear that my main ships are Cassunzel, New Dream and the ot3--but that doesn't mean I don't ship them with other people. I ship Cass with Stalyan and Adira in the context of her post-show adventures. I ship Lance and Eugene. I ship Lance and Adira. So it's not about ship greed and it's not about age gaps. Two of these ships have a much bigger gap than Varian would with any of the main cast, given that in the flashback 25 years ago Adira is already a grown woman, making her over 40 in the present time in the show. The key difference is, both Cass and Lance were full fledged adults when they met Adira. Once you're a consenting adult, age doesn't matter.

So, this isn't about ship greed or age gaps. This is about the fact that, far too often, when a person enters a relationship with someone substantially older than them who they have known since childhood, grooming and child abuse is involved. Once again, I am not saying this is the case with Cassarian or any other Varian/adult ships where he is aged up. I'm referring to the real world, the real world which has had very real ramifications on those of us who are victims of grooming and childhood abuse. The real world is a cruel and harsh place and when I'm triggered in my safe space it fucking hurts.

Now. You are not responsible for managing my triggers. No one except for myself is responsible for that, and I've taken all the precautions I can to avoid being triggered. But it still happens. Especially if I happen across a piece where Varian is drawn as he is in the show. A 14 to 16 year old boy. A child.

I will reiterate, you are entitled to ship whatever you'd like. I respect you and your decisions regardless of what you ship. I value and care for you as a person and a member of our Tangled family regardless of what you ship. I'm not implying that anyone who ships Cassarian or any other Varian x Gang ship is a bad person. All that I'm asking is that you open your mind to my words, and consider the other side.

Anyway, I love you all.