#they're corny asf I just know it

[crowkae]

Happy Valentine's day from fem vashwood 💌

[chrissdollie]

rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs

a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3

SFW

chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((

i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever

he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)

sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c

but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.

out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!

when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.

you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off

one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.

you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".

for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3

imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.

you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"

you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!

u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal

but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody

chris gets a custom made $5k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((

NSFW

speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.

chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.

"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"

in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate

chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u

watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.

he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths

chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.

@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht

[crabonfire]

heya! could u do scout (or all the mercs if you can) x gyaru!reader hcs :o? like everyone suspects [merc] to have a badass s/o cuz their also so badass but in reality their all glammed up and lookin like their goin to a beach party 😭 thanks! and if you don’t want to do the req/can’t do it no problem! ^_^

Scout's Gyaru! Partner!!

character: scout (mercs are barely involved)

note: this cute asf I had to do it lol 😭

The other mercs are involved a bit

I made the S/O super cheery and a little aggresive but that's just cause idk I think its funny LOL

Gender ain't specified but they act more femininely!! love me feminine ppl 😚

warnings: none

♡Scout♡

• Ever since Scout started to date you, from the way he described you as "Cool, confident and badass" they expected somebody who actually fit the description.

• The men didn't care about it at first. He'd babble on about you randomly in conversation, and automatically, they'd groan and try to change the topic.

• And from the way he'd always do what you told him when you two called over the phone, they assumed you were somebody stricter than he was.

• So they were a little shocked to find somebody with dashing makeup, long painted acrylics with the most glamorous, pastel colored outfit they've ever seen. Your hair was dyed brightly in certain areas, you carried a purse embedded with pearls and cute pins...you were the OPPOSITE of what they were thinking of.

"Oh! Are you Engineer? Jeremy's told me all about you!"

"...Yes-"

"About Jeremy, have you seen him? He was supposed to come with me to a party but he totally ditched on me and he won't answer my calls. The asshole he is."

"Well-"

"OH! I haven't introduced myself, I'm [S/O]! Sorry, that was really rude of me."

He paused, cracking up an awkward smile.

"I could tell."

"Haha, yeah, anyway, have you seen him? He's such a dick for leaving me like that."

"He's in the training grounds with the others, I'll take you there, sweetheart."

"Aw, you're so nice. Thanks!"

He smirked, walking you over the base. How did you find the base? He doesn't know. Does he want to see Scout get yelled at? Yea.

♡♡♡

• "Jeremy what the hell?! You left me out there alone you dick. So fuckin' rude, and you didn't answer my calls..."

"OW- I TOLD YOU IM SORRY-" He winces, rubbing over the area you hit his head at. "I was busy..."

"Busy with what? Being a little bitch?"

• The mercs who watched from afar snickered, he gave you a frown and you retorted your insult.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it babe."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm sorry for not telling you anything. I was busy, and I left my phone in my room."

"Okayyyy, I won't yell at you anymore. I came to ask if you wanted to go to the beach this week? I got this super cute beach set and like, we could take cute pics together. It'd be sooo fun!"

"Hell yeah, people will see my muscles and stuff."

• You chuckled, "Yeah! Your strong muscles, and we'll both look so cute together."

He smiled at that, then he looked you up and down.

"I never got a good look of you, but damn...you look real cute today." He muttered, "Are these new?" He said as took your hand in his, admiring the colored nails with their cute accessories.

You grinned brightly, "Yeah! I'm so glad you noticed." He felt himself melt, "They're nice. I like the colors."

• He was always so enamored by you. You were so energetic, so confident...you always wore whatever you wanted and did whatever you wanted because you never cared, and best of all you had the cutest fashion sense.

"I like how you did your make up today."

"Your hairs nice. It must've taken a while, yea?"

He started to comment on your outfit, telling you how cute you looked, making you chuckle and blush at his corny remarks. You two went quiet, and honestly, it was a new sight for these mercenaries.

• They'd never seen him so quiet, so enchanted by somebody before. Where he actually stops talking for once, and just looks at you with such love.

They almost don't believe it, Scout...BEING ROMANTIC? ain't no way.

"Wow, He's actually shutting up?" Medic says, "Pinch me, I'm dreaming." Sniper replied, making everybody crack a smile. They kept watching as you leaned down to give him a kiss, pulling back with the softest gaze they've ever seen on anybody.

"HEY! NO ROMANCE ON THE BATTLEFIELD!" Soldier screamed, making them both flinch and turn to their direction. "HEY HEY, WHERES THE PRIVACY AT? Fuckin perverts." He stands up from his bench, walking over with you outside as you chuckle in reply. He sticks his tounge out at them mockingly, as if saying "Your just jealous" before he does.

• Spy rolls his eyes, but there's a slight smile on his face. His son has found somebody good, somebody he can be happy with, even though they weren't somebody he expected. He's happy for him.

♡♡♡

I would've added more merc content for this but I liked how I wrote scout,, he loves ur fashion sense babe omggg

Honestly i miss writing scout, he's a big reason I'm really into tf2 in general haha.

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.

[deadaccount1211]

TD 2023 Season 2 Rant Pt3

Spoilers Below

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I want to start off by saying I think S2 still has the same comedic value S1 does. Episode 2 and Episode 6 were very funny. However I think every other aspect of the show is weak asf rn.

Let me break it down.

Relationships: I think Bowie x Raj was handled the best out of all of them. However I was a bit disappointed that Raj forgave Bowie so quickly after he found about the cheating. I just expected a bigger blowup.

I still think Ripaxel is mid. We never got a full perspective on why Axel likes Ripper back. And now they've become S2 Geoff x Bridgette so they're super duper mid. These two need to be the double boot, get them off my screen.

Priya x Caleb is fine. I'm just not a fan because I think it's corny. (Also a salty Priya x Damien fan.) Caleb is basically a blank slate so they magically molded him into Priya's perfect bf. He has everything in common with her, no arguments, "perfect" chemistry.

Also just really predictable. Zee is gonna tell Priya that Caleb is only gonna use her for an alliance. Priya gets mad and tells off Caleb. Caleb does some heroic sacrifice bullshit to prove his love for Priya. Yawn.

Episode 5 is probably Ripper's best performance in the entire season because he's actually interacting with his team and not spending the entire time simping for axel.

Welp my finale pick is officially wrong since Nichelle went home. But honestly I'm more disappointed about how her elimination was handled than the early boot itself. Off screen training arc, minimal interactions with her team and then she's just used as fodder to show how good of a villain Julia is. Very anticlimactic ending. Reminds me of how they got rid of Anne Maria.

And when it comes to Nichelle discussions, I feel like I'm kind of in the middle. Because I can see from an outsider's perspective how Nichelle fans could be annoying. Because they just simplify her character to "girlboss." But Nichelle haters are equally obnoxious. Personally I'm on Team Nichelle is Okay But Could've Been Better.

Damien is THIS close to beating the filler character allegations. My guy made merge and won the first immunity? Yessir. Now he just needs a plotline. I don't know what. But please give him something.

[sumeruin]

Hello friend, I'm not sure if you're aware but your writing is actually helping a lot of people, myself included! I actually feel normal for having these dark thoughts -- it's just a coping mechanism and I don't understand why everyone is so upset. Like ffs, YOU'RE IGNORING THE WARNINGS. Do people not read? They're purposefully coming into our space and complaining about it... but whateve, I know this is corny asf, but don't ever stop writing friend! :)

hi nonnie!! i’m so so happy my writing has helped you, that’s one of the only reasons i post it :)

[fxirybun]

thats what I think and then I was thinking about dreams too and how they just dont make no fucking sense? sometimes it feels like dreams have meanings but its always load of nonsense so i do think dreamworld is one of those alternate states of reality rather than it being something we dont see nor feel or we only "dream" it yh right i believe its a whole nother state of reality what we do in this one maybe reflects what we "dream" about except its another us if that makes sense? this is so interesting. if anything doesnt feel real its time. yaknow if theres aliens just beam me tf back into the 90s i want my long weekends back 😭 i swear time is short asf these days cause my parents went camping two days ago i was cat sitting our cat and it was like no time had went by before they got back.

this is why i demand to know wth is going on and ppl r getting weirder and weirder too like half the stuff u see online isnt real or its not how ppl should be and all anyone care abt nowadays is going viral. i mean i watched a compilation of tiktokers stories and actually i quite liked their stories or experiences of alternate realities or quantum jumping which leads me to think there is more to reality but at the same time i have not experienced such a thing myself so i think they just so happened to experience it like :/ maybe in another version of me i have a sibling or two id like that very much tbh. how about u?

true omg there would also be instances wherein i would experience lucid dreams and how i'm "aware" that it's a dream yet i can get to perform something else 😭🥹 i would mostly run real fast or try to fly away because i either get chased by some serial killer or being sucked by a black hole on outer space 💀 a traumatizing experience. some dreams do have their meanings , especially when it's a reoccurring one.

i would perceive dreams as tapping into your subconscious mind. it also reflects the things we did outside and how it would show us an alternative path , think of it as an otome game to better explain it lmao 😆 i had an interaction with someone that didn't end well irl yet when i went into my dream state i would accidentally shift myself and it showed me a different route wherein i'm in good terms with this person. kinda wish i could go back cuz it felt so good and all 😔✊

it's prolly due to anonymity cuz people can hide their identities online and get away from something they're going to spill or post that would either be seen as "controversial" for others unless you're an influencer with your real name as your online persona which is kinda risky. i mean hello ?? digital footprint ? well some are chronolically online these days hence others are getting peculiar.

it takes time to get there so you shouldn't give up or lose hope yet ! try to lessen your doubt of not being able to achieve it 'cause nothing is impossible unless you do it (sounds so corny but it's the truth here TT)

i find it so similar to what happened to me before because i used to not believe in spirits or entities. it's like a battle between the mind and the heart and how i tend to be a bit rational not until i decided to become more "open" and try to start believing in everything... that's how i ended up finding myself to be in contact with these energies (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)

[chicspo]

how to glow up ♡

some tips on glowing up because if no ones got u just know i got u! always!!! xo

mental glow up

be yourself: im serious!! im not being corny or cringey shutup. if ur currently trying to fit in or be like the people around u, STAWP. u will never be them. theres nothing u can do to be like them. just like they will never be u, and thats ur power girl! figure out who YOU are and be the best version of YOURSELF. be confident in the fact that no one will ever amount to you! bible!!!

ignore jealous btches: they're irrelevant babe! if anyone talks shit abt u, whether its to ur face or not, they're just insecure. people who spend their time talking abt someone else are fans! they're so obsessed with u. other's opinions doesn't matter bc it's subjective, they project their own insecurities onto you. they see whats worst in them on you, but it has nothing to do with you gf!!

stand out: do ur thing, wear whatever you want, do whatever u like!! and who cares if people stare or talk about u, they all look the same. they wish they were as confident in themselves as you are babe! don't live for others, do ur thing and do it for YOU.

physical glow up

start fresh: take a shower or a relaxing bath! let go of anything thats been annoying u or overwhelming u lately. put on fresh new clothes (or comfy pjs if its late xo), put on some perfume, do ur skincare, etc. this will help with setting a new start, as if u were now a blank canvas

brush ur hair: do it! i have naturally curly hair and i used to only comb it in the shower, but now i brush my dry hair more often and its way better. if u take care of it i promise it wont even look frizzy, it will help keep it looking soft and clean!

accessorize: it doesn't matter if ur all dolled up or just wearing sweats, accessories make everything better!!! i prefer golden jewelry over silver most of the time, it makes me feel so chic and put together. put on some rings, some bracelets, necklaces.. make it cute!

finding ur own style: this ties into what i said before about being yourself. figure out what ur personal style is! don't put urself into a box or an already existing "aesthetic", that's tacky and it limits ur possibilities. just do whatever u want! maybe one day ur feeling more like wearing dresses and the next u wana wear sweats, and thats normal and cool asf! u should wear what makes u feel good, confident, and comfortable

thats all the advice i have for now! hope it helped♡ and as always u can tell me if u have any other blog post suggestions, love u xo