#they're in a drinking contest with merry and pippin

[eliounora]

the besties three drinks before ruining aragorn's wedding

[doberbutts]

I'm pulling this out because this shit is funny as hell hold on

Merry and Pippin (2 in 1) actual hijinks and shenanigans of mutual stumbling over each other's first times. Bonus points if they are hours apart. Pippin finds Merry rolling in the hay in the morning, decides he wants in on this and doesn't want to be outdone, finds himself a willing partner, and Merry interrupts them by accident. Comedy gold.

I don't view Frodo as someone interested in sex (boos and hisses from the Sam/Frodo crowd) however Sam I think would similarly be Frodo opening the door to their shared living space after the quest and Sam's, err, "helping" Rosie in the kitchen. Sam stutters an apology, Rosie starts trying to explain, and meanwhile Frodo's just like "really? where we eat???"

Blink and you'll miss it moment between Legolas and Gimli OR the most intense, drawn out, intimate yet tasteful scene with a bonus at the end where Gimli goes "wait wym we're elf-married now". Probably in Rohan, after the drinking contest.

I'm choosing to believe that the scene between Arwen and Aragorn in Rivendell before he left, where she's wearing a mostly translucent shift and he is in a state of far more undress than we've seen him prior and ever seen him again, is a post-sex scene. So just put it there.

There is not a single person who will ever be able to convince me that Boromir did not get mad pussy in Gondor. The same goes for Faramir, who was loved by all except their father.

Gandalf, also, is not a sexual being to me. But with PJ's insistence on highlighting Gandalf's relationship to both Galadriel and Celeborn, I would believe him to be a third in whatever dynamic suits them.. Maybe he and Galadriel have telepathic elf magic ring sex and Celeborn is just like "yeah sure that's fine w/e". This is movie-canon only, of course.

Bilbo also- reclusive, kept to himself, constantly wandering the wilds alone or with Gandalf? Either he and Gandalf are regularly FWB adventure buddies or they're just plain uninterested in the whole deal.

I'm of two minds with Smeagol. On one hand there is great comedy gold with the little fucked up loincloth man and on the other hand there is so much tragedy to his character that I can't decide if it would be funnier to have him still have sexual desires or if it would be sadder to take him at his word when he states that he lost all desire and interest and pleasure in everything except the Ring. Perhaps he attempted to have sex with another Stoor early on in his possession of the Ring, before he was chased away. Maybe someone he had been trying to court, before the murder of Deagol and the subsequent chained events of consequences.

[reality-warp]

how many chapters do you think CM is going to end up having/how close are we to book three? since we're at the end of what was covered in the two towers film now.

Ok, so the simple answer is I've plotted out Compos Mentis to be 23 chapters, so once the next one is published it'll be 2 more before we hit book 3 (which is code named AI in my planning doc). Big chunks of it are already written, they're just in pieces that need to be stiched together with proper prose and editing.

The more invovled answer is that number of chapters can change depending on how I decide to split up plot points as I'm writing (I do love my cliffhangers). For example the warg attack and Battle of Helms Deep was originally only supposed to stretch over 2 chapters instead of 4. We also cover a bit more plot in Compos Mentis than the Two Towers film. Instead of cutting off straight after the battle, CM is going to end when... well, after a certain party and a few plot-important things involving Ellie, Tink and a seeing-stone occur back in Edoras.

So in terms of things we still have to get through in CM, we have, in no paticular order:

The general aftermath of the battle

Investigating what's happened at Isengard + dealing with Saurman

Reuniting with Merry and Pippin (I'm looking forward to this one)

Celebrating/mouring the battle back at Edoras

E & L having their equivilent of the "what are we" talk

At least one drinking contest

And finally, Tink & Ellie getting thrown (or rolled) a curve ball

...that last one will make sense eventually, I promise.