#think frollo without the genocide

[claudethecrabdemoness]

Ok so I think I found a way to fix Vox LOLLOLOL. 

And by fix him, I mean make him much, much worse.

🔌 📺😝🎩⚡️

So I was drabbling in my head w Claude and Vox and they got to deep talking about their previous lives and regrets and all sorts of existential meanderings, when Vox surprised me by saying “I was a Christian, ya know. A good one. Never even missed a Sunday- come late night or hangover or hellwater. *chuckle* Fat lot of good it did me, right?”

And then I was like oh. OHHHH. 

He should’ve been a televangelist. 

So now this is canon as far as I’m concerned, and can even make perfect use of the little priest getup from his song number. After all, that is essentially what he’s doing with the V’s: amassing a hell-wide cult through the power of his broadcast monopoly. And explains why Claude had never heard of him before- he’s not your average kind of celebrity. 

I picture he got his start on local access TV, in the early 40s, just right after Al would’ve had his heyday with radio. He was an East Coast boy, no doubt, and mastered the quick-talking pander of the telecasters at the time. He often ran small broadcasts for local churches- fundraisers, telethons, what have you- and the Christian community ate up his All-American boyish charm. Especially the ladies. He married one who went to his church and really believed his words had the power to change lives, urged him to start his own televised worship, and boy did he thrive. They quickly became a household name, and he basically kick-started the whole televangelist movement into high gear. Like the bastard he is. Soon he gained a country-wide following and had money pouring in from the faithful by the buckets, and of course it all went straight to his head. Hence why it’s a TV now as punishment. That’s when he began exploiting his pulpit, believing himself a prophet, staying with his wife only to maintain their image, buying houses and toys and cars all with parishioner’s money, staying awake for days on cocaine and coming back down with barbiturates, the whole nine yards. 

It eventually caught up to him when his followers tried to commit a mass murder/suicide in his name, and a lengthy court appeal didn’t really smooth over their new reputation as a dangerous cult. Which is so unfair. It wasn’t like he told them to go all Old Testament, buuut… it’s not like his message was that far off from it either. Idiots. From then on, he started overworking, overthinking, and overdoing the whole thing right into the ground. His wife left him, he lost a ton of money in legal fees, and he had to hire protection now to keep up with the death threats from angry loved ones of his devotees. All the stress and resentment drove him into religious fanaticism, and his sermons just got more and more ego-driven and manic, asking for larger tithes and claiming it would be help him work the Lord’s magic even faster. He eventually was killed by a hit put out on him by an up and coming newer cult- ironically a spinoff of his original one- proving that he was very much mortal, but his faithful followers still believed he was a messiah of some kind. 

And that’s because- in his haze of drugs and self-destruction- he believed he was one too. He was sure that what he was doing was for all the Right Reasons, even if the methods were unorthodox. But hey- even Jesus flipped tables and rebelled against the Romans, so who’s to say his path is any less holy? He was SURE that he’d still be getting a ticket to Heaven, despite some minor setbacks…

So you can imagine his rage when he very much woke up in Hell. 

All his hard work, all his devotion, all his MONEY- for what?? Damned to live with a TV instead of his beautiful face and nothing to show for his decades of faith??

What the fUCK??

It was then that he realized God was the biggest scam of all and immediately renounced his faith, spending the first few years of demonhood sinning and drinking as much as possible. He had no idea how to cope with it all, and saw no point to trying, really. What good is having a TV head when you can barely stand the thought of using it- just a constant reminder of the empire you left crumbing behind you. 

And that’s when he met Alastor. 

Now here was someone else cursed by his favorite medium and a deer form that boasted anything but the predator he saw himself as- only this man was anything but deterred by it. The Radio Demon’s broadcasts may have terrorized everyone else in Hell, but they invigorated something deep inside Vox. Something he hasn’t felt since his first televised sermon… something like worship. 

He had to seek him out. 

This then ties in perfectly with his one-sided crush/obsession with Al, their doomed stint at friendship, and the impending rejection he receives at the end. AGAIN. First God, now Alastor…? You’d think that second blow would reduce him into an even greater depression than before, but instead, it flips a switch inside him. That’s when Vox decides ENOUGH. He’s done pandering, he’s done negotiating, he’s done elevating anyone else above himself. And why should he?? If anything HE should be the one on that pedestal, HE should be the only one to get credit for all HIS deeds…

HE should be God. 

And dammit, if he can’t join the original up in Heaven, why not try to become one down in Hell?

The rest is canon as we know it, but I just really realllllly love the idea of ex-Christian Vox, and all the disillusionment religious trauma can bring. He went straight from communion to capitalism, and I like that in my hell-bound guys. I will def be using this as his canon backstory for my AU with Claude, bc I needed to bring even more conflicted suffering and RSD to this character before I can truly ship them together hahaa. 

And…. despite what his real backstory actually is…. this is the only one I subscribe to now. 😈

ALSO:

TELL ME THIS ISN’T HIM!!??!??? HELP. CREEPY HANDSOME IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FOR THIS CURSED TV MAN I HAVE DECLARED IT SO PLS ADJUST YOUR FANART ACCORDINGLY. 

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk I’m going to go rot in my hole now thinking of more hcs for this akskshagaga-

[king-magnifico-haven]

🌟 King Magnifico: A Classic Disney Villain? A Misunderstood Hero? 🌟

Breaking news: King Magnifico's a villain after all. He's nothing but a cold, heartless tyrant who stole everyone's wishes for absolutely no reason at all, and forced everyone to bend to his will. Asha's the hero and King Magnifico's just as evil as Scar or Frollo. At least that's what some members of the Wish fandom will lead you to think, anyway.

Let's look at a few things. The movie begins with Asha singing about how the citizens of Rosas can willingly give up their wishes (see: 'Welcome to Rosas' song). Fast forward to her interview, and she's horrified because apparently King Magnifico's taking everyone's wishes and forcing them to live unhappy lives without their wishes ever being granted. And she knew nothing about any of it.

Plus her 'if someone has a bad wish, they can be stopped' line means someone wishing for worldwide genocide can easily be stopped.

The interview scene alone proves just how awkward and downright bad the writing was at times. Asha happily sang about King Magnifico and his wish system at the beginning, then acted completely blindsided during the interview.

Nobody can say Tangled suffers from so much klutziness. Not with a straight face.

And Magnifico defenders, know that you have a safe space here to celebrate the King of Rosas. Don't let anyone shut you down, here or anywhere else, for supporting Magnifico.

[seastarblue]

sea watches/listens to Mar i Cel part one: La Cort

context: the mar i cel plague has infected me and now I’m gonna infect you guys 🫶

it’s a musical, fting pirates and tragedy (or so I’m told) and yeah!!!! it’s completely in catalan and it’s v cool so far.

here’s a lil linky link

Let’s gooooo!

you read the title ur getting my UNBRIDDLED UNMEDDLED UNEDITED LIVE THOUGHTS on this:

holy these costumes r fire ‼️

also priest? is that a priest I think so

yapping about smth idk (I. Do not speak this)(according to le summary they’re gonna punt ppl outta the country bc religion:(

balloon pants Yapping

GUY IN BLACK he looks like a… a villain tbh major bad guy vibes.

guy in black looked like he was gonna fight Balloon Pants LEAVE MY GUY ALONE

A WOMAN 🫶🫵🫵

no my wifi :( no wifi come backkk plz

WIFI BACK IM SO BACK

no let my girl sing more :(((

OOH harmony

swoopy stashe is monologuing now

emo frollo n priest just crossed themselves ?

swoopy stashe n emo frollo are harmonizing to balloon pants? oh wait r they convincing him?

A WOMAN PT 2 🫶 looks like she’s against them (emo frollo n swoop)

WAITTTT AMINUTEEEEEE THAT WAS SO COOL WAIT

^ woman was singing and then she turned to balloon pants n then the light????? glowed behind her????? And it was so cool wait

DAMN

okay so anyways

balloon man grew balls yay he’s saying smth instead of standing there 🧍‍♂️

emo frollo says “meh idc”

oh wait shit there’s another swoop stashe guy

uhhhhh we’ll call him Bob

bob is getting AWFULLY CLOSE to Balloon Pants idk why

sounds very soft n gentle

BALLON NODDED N CHUCKLED

some of them bowed? and Ballon guy kneeled what

okay

Emo Frollo reading off of something? I heard Hispania I think

I heard particular 😤 man this is hard if you don’t speak catalan

Emo Frollo is Yapping

finally he’s finished

and awayyyyy we gooooooooooo!!!!

“20 years later “ according to Google translate I think I’ll end it here for now~

OKAYYYYy SO.

I have decided to look up the lyrics and then copy paste them into Google Translate, which, yes I know it’s not perfect, nor even close, but I got a more specific idea of what’s going on

So, this is set in Spain, 1609. The Moors (Muslims who lived in Spain) live alongside the Christians, but they (the Christians) don’t want them there.

At least some of them don’t. The king is all for it, but the queen (the WOMAN 🫶) isn’t, as is another Noble (I think Balloon Pants?)

The Pope (he’s not here I don’t think) has recommended that they (The Spanish Christians) take a gentle approach to the Moors, but the Patriarch (that’s what it called him I thinkkkkk it’s Emo Frollo?) says the Pope doesn’t know what the Moors are capable of, and that violence is needed.

Now the King agrees, but the Noble is here on behalf of the Other Nobles in the area, and the don’t want the Moors to leave as they bring prosperity (mentioned that they live in a ‘garden’ and without them the ‘garden’ would turn to a desert)

They (the opps) say that the Moors support PIRATES 🏴‍☠️ and therefore cause more trouble than they’re worth. And then they say too bad so sad.

More arguing ensues, then everyone juts agrees to Genocide

Anyways

They disperse and Emo Frollo starts reading the decree: they’re purging the Moors oh no

End scene!!!

this is so cool wait I’m invested now

@error404vnotfound plz tell me if this is somewhat correct idk man

[tiredflowercrown]

💩 King Beast: If you could make any one thing happen in canon without consequence, what would it be?

🤩 King Charming: Who or what first caught your eye in/about Descendants? What got you hooked?

🍎 Snow White: If you could ask any character for a five minute interview, who would it be and why?

🥸 Mr. Deley: You have evidence to expose the crimes of a so-called hero. Who’s going down and why?

🤡 Seven Dwarves: You can pick any seven characters to be your roommates. Who are they and why?

💋 Evil Queen: If you had to marry one of the classic Disney villains, who would it be and why?

⚓ Captain Hook: What’s your pirate name? How about the name of that dinghy you call a ship?

This got entire too lengthy, and took far too long sooo cut

💩: if you could make any one thing happen in canon without consequence, what would it be?

Hmmmm. I wanna make it count. Fuck, I can't deny my gut instinct. Anthony. Make him exist and be acknowledged by Dizzy or Chad or Chole. Make him appear, not in an off shoot where we assume it's him, but like give him a little scene. Like maybe a Doug level character, a relationship to a main character but not relevant to the main plot in anyway. (I know it's silly and doesn't matter but that was the instinct)

Oooh or actually show the abuse and don't sweep it under the rug. Quit being a coward disney.

🤩: who or what first caught your eye in/about descendants? What go u hooked?

Traditionally, before I was fandom? The Music. I actually used to listen to songs when I was daydreaming/stimming. I know and can name drop It's good to be bad, but that is far from the only example.

Fandom? I've said this before, but Anthony. He's just so compelling to me. The fandom dive actually went Anthony Tremaine, Claudine Frollo, then Harriet Hook. He is Blorbo more than anyone else to me.

🍎: if you could ask any character for a five minute interview, who would it be and why?

This is such a hard question because I know interviews and have conducted them before. 5 minutes isn't a lot of time and the questions i want to ask need more time. Hmmmmmmmm, Ben.

I would ask about his plans to better Auradon, about how he plans to inact said ideas, maybe about why he chose the Isle. He's a politician he should be able to answer those quickly.

🥸: you have the evidence to expose a so-called hero. Who's going down and why?

Beast. Idk who of my mutuals wouldn't answer Beast. Why? Crimes against humanity, unjust imprisonment, genocide, rights violations (in Auradon), union busting, etc.

🤡: you can pick any 7 characters to be your roommates. Who are they and why?

So many difficult questions. It's not just oh who do I want around me, but also who wouldn't kill each other living together. Ugh, who have the most compatible personalities.

Carlos. He's fairly easy-going and keeps to himself. He also would clean up after himself, so it wouldn't be a horrible mess. (At least not one of his doing.)

Jane. Couples are tricky, but I don't think they would fall into the typical traps of too much pda or sex. Maybe arguments would be an issue but any group of people would have that threat.

Doug. Evie isn't gonna be here and I feel like he would spend a lot of time at her place so he's a negligible factor. Also if he was around he would be pretty chill.

Hear me out, Gil. Anything he would bring home wouldn't be "bad" enough to like horribly disrupt the house and vibe. He's also nice and is easy-going.

Uggg this is so hard. I'm going canon (or like canon to the point where they existed in canon at some point), and vks are hard because of VK tendencies for not working well in big groups. I don't wanna room with kids (or like under 16s). Lonnie??? Her sports equipment would take up a lot of space but I don't think she would actively use it inside???

Screw it I'm going with relative unknowns, Yzla and Reza. The canon versions. So Reza is an unsufferable know it all and Yzla doesn't really have a personality. I can deal with that. Sure why not.

💋: if you had to marry one of the classic Disney villians, who would it be and why?

When they say classic I'm assuming pre Renaissance. So Evil Queen, Chernabog (though I don't think they mean him cause he isn't "well kniwn"), Captain Hook, Cruella de Vil, Queen of Hearts, Madam Mim (see Chernabog reasoning), Lady Tremaine, and Maleficent.

Lady Tremaine. She wouldn't kill or abuse me??? She's just mean and like abusive and neglectful to her kids but I feel like she like her spouse?? None of them are good options. But she isn't insane so I'll take it.

⚓️: what's your pirate name? How about that dinghy you call a ship?

Salty Sal. It's got alliteration and and like sea themes. Ship is Wilted Flower. It has a bit of historical justice (I think. I'm not looking up what I think to check.)

[velvet-vox]

40th year anniversary of Tetris special post.

(Various ramblings down below).

By the way, I don't see J as wasted potential until she dies again. After my most recent rewatch of Murder Drones, I do think that J could have had some interesting stuff to do in our current plot, or at least that's what my new highly critical phase of Murder Drones tells me, but as she is now, I don't get why the fandom fixates so much on her having zero screen time when there's already so many characters that need to be developed.

Originally, I was going to make an "all the problems that I have with Doll" post, but then I realised that this entire time after the release of episode 7 I've been going through the 5 stages of grief, and now I've reached anger, the phase where I take out all of my frustrations on the show, so instead I'll be reserving my honest opinions on the matter to a later date; but not before dropping the nuclear bomb on you:

I feel more sympathy towards Judge Claude Frollo and Lord Shen than I feel for Doll. No I'm serious (rhetorically).

You see, the thing is that, with Frollo, you could see the innate humanity within him, especially in the Hellfire scene. When you rewatch the movie a second time, you realise that Frollo never had a moment where he was truly happy with what was happening. Sure, he took a little bit of pleasure by hearing a guy getting frustrated across the room, but that was only because he thought he was punishing the sinful, not because he genuinely found sadistic pleasure in the act of violence. Yeah, sure, he tried to r##e a Latina woman, it's as unforgivable and inexcusable as you can get, but it's not like you couldn't see all the conflicting feelings of internalised Christian indoctrination that led him to become such a sick and vile individual, you can pin down a character arc without even having a single clue of its existence.

Same thing with Lord Shen: part of the reason why he's such an amazing antagonist, it's because the movie spends a large chunk of his runtime showcasing his emotions and paranoia, you can easily cut out a lot of the scenes with the Soothsayer and it would be just fine, but the fact that we see those scenes and the relationship between the two adds multiple layers of depth and enjoyment to his character. Also you should know that genocide is more excusable than r##e in fiction, it's just a fact.

But with Doll.... we never get any of that. Liam wrote Doll in the same way DreamWorks wrote Tai Lung: a threat first, and a sympathetic villain second. Except, with Tai Lung, when time came to shove the writers committed to his sympathetic traits, showcasing his emotions, backstory, and all of that. But Liam instead just ended up committing to Doll being mysterious and threatening but almost accidentally never delved deep into the human elements that he gave her and then just ended up killing her off in an anticlimactic way like a plot device when she overstayed her welcome.

For the longest time, I couldn't understand why comments like this existed:

Like, why? Doll had as sympathetic of a backstory as a children's program animated villain could get, it's not the most tragic thing in Murder Drones but by regular standards it was peak, and she was forced to cannibalise her classmates like Uzi was, and grew desensitized to other people's lives when all of the adults and classmates forgot to check out on her. Surely the broken, lonely orphan would be more emotionally captivating than the genocidal war machine right?

But that's the thing: we actually get a look into V's mind. We know about the humanity present within her. We saw her struggles, the things that tick her off, while with Doll, we only get a backbone of a character, she's more of a force of nature but personified into a generic b###h, she never seems to particularly struggle with anything throughout the plot, so it's really hard to feel any sympathy for her until you start to think hard about it.

But that's enough of these silly ramblings: today it's a special occasion, it's the 40th anniversary of Tetris, and when I learned about it, I knew that I had to rush out a celebratory post for our Russian Queen: Yeva.

So here there's a smaller version of my work on the Doll catalogue but for Yeva. Some good art and some good comments. (Once again to all of the artists, I will erase your names and projects from this post if you find it uncomfortable).

Please enjoy.

Yeva art by @yakkuo13 :

Mama Yeva

Crab fight

Beautiful clothes

Art by @sir-dahlia

Cup of tea

Art by @eveledoze :

Russian lifestyle

Lab mates

Yeva ideas by @dreamii-krybaby :

A tragic au

A badass

Death from the get go

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Rating Disney Villains based on how relatable they are and why they are evil (part 1)

Ursula: 5/10

Despite being banished she isn’t starving to death and still gets plenty of visitors. Clearly she’s capping.

Jafar: 7/10

Considering the Sultan is an idiot, I too would probably want to take over the kingdom just so the kingdom doesn’t fall into ruin

Cruella de Vil: (original not that dumb live action prequel) 3/10

The dogs would have made great coats but she could have waited until they needed to be put down or the cops find out a place has over 100 dogs without a license

Maleficent: 9/10

I too would curse a baby if I was not invited to a party and no one was sorry about it

Gaston: 2/10

Just because one girl doesn’t want to marry you when you could have Litterally ANYONE ELSE, granted I think Bell is hot, but not worth starting a mob hot. Incel behavior do not approve

Scar: 7/10

Mufasa was elitist as f*** and everyone called him Scar, plus fighting to Attain dominance is a normal animal thing

Captain Hook: 7/10

I too would be annoyed if anytime I did anything a demigod in green tights and animal costume wearing children got in the way

Lady Tremaine: 1/10

You Literally have no reason to be this vile. If anything, being nice probably would have set you up for life.

Hades: 7/10

If I was stuck being life guard for the most depressing adult swim in history I would probably stage a coup too.

Evil Queen: 3/10

Considering she made a potion to look ugly to trick Snow White, why not just make a potion for Snow White to look slightly uglier so you can be the fairest.

Mother Gothel: 4/10

Considering Rapunzel’s hair helped make her nigh immortal, I kind of get why she went through such lengths to keep her isolated, but if she just took Rapunzel out 1 time. She could have stayed immortal for much longer.

Claude Frollo: 2/10

Using a bad interpretation of your religion to justify genocide is a dick move. But I get why he was into Esmeralda.

Shere Khan: 8/10

Humans are dicks, and fire burns. Very realistic animal reaction

Professor Ratigan: 8/10

Considering how people constantly called him a triggering name, I too probably would conquer England and write an entire diss track to play right at my nemesis’s death.

Yzma 10/10

Kuzco was 100% that guy people would not be sad seeing die in the start of the movie. Yzma Litterally took over within like a day after he was gone. I’m shocked it didn’t happen sooner.

Shan Yu: 7/10

It’s war, and historically speaking the Huns would have decimated China. Also considering how easily him and 5 guys managed to get into the capital and nearly kill the emperor, China needs to reconsider its military practices.

Dr.Facilier 2/10

Dude got himself in debt for his own powers then got shocked when his evil voodoo/hoodoo turned on him. Rip to him but I’m different.

The Horned King 4/10

While blander than an unsalted cracker, I don’t think a face like his could get into any other profession, so undead army

Madame Medusa: 4/10

That was a big ass Diamond, but probably wouldn’t have been a problem if she wasn’t a dick to children

Prince John: 0/10

He just taxed people for no reason, so basically like most governments.

Chernabog: 1/10

If he is basically satan than yea, pretty lame motivation

[otnesse]

Don't forget Maleficent, she definitely did even worse than Frollo (even if most of it was off-screen, which is hardly a disqualifier as most of Volgin and Palpatine's actions were offscreen as well yet they still qualified), never mind Ozai. And believe me, it is weird, especially when Frollo gets singled out as a Complete Monster, yet they conveniently ignore Maleficent regarding the trope despite of her being most likely guilty of much of the same crimes as Frollo and possibly even WORSE (heck, based on the time skip scene, Maleficent most likely intended to have Aurora pricked while she was still a child, a baby even. That's the only reason I can think of for her debriefing regarding her minions' search for her during that time). Heck, at least in regards to handling kids, Frollo was definitely more redeemable there than with Maleficent. At least Frollo stayed his hand in killing Quasimodo, actually did keep his word to have him grow to adulthood when he could have just as easily found another well to dispose of him, while Maleficent explicitly cursed a newborn child to die without any way out, and may have intended to kill her FAR sooner than the explicit deadline based on the Forbidden Mountain scene. Then again, the Complete Monster trope itself is really dang broken, especially when it actually gets a bit hypocritical at times (like, for example, Zamasu qualifies as a Complete Monster for desiring genocide against all life, yet Zeno doesn't despite literally having the exact same goal ESPECIALLY in the manga, and arguably having even WORSE motivations behind said genocide? Same goes for Volgin and The Boss in Snake Eater.).

I'm in multiple fandoms, and for some reason the villains in ATLA are particularly disliked. There's this odd sense of visceral hatred, and I can't make head or tail of it. Are they just well-written characters, or is this fandom uniquely toxic in its discourse?

[raeynbowboi]

Top 10 Disney Villains

10. King Candy Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Although he’s newer to the villain roster, King Candy was a well-written villain who served as a perfect blend of humorous and genuinely threatening. He also tied very nicely into the themes of the film, which makes him stand out in my memory as a good villain, because I take more than just personality and actions into account when judging characters, but also role in the narrative, and how they support the themes and ideas of the story. King Candy is the perfect villain for a story like this, which is why I consider him good enough to be on this list, even if as a villain himself, he might not be the most memorable among the Disney canon.

9. Gaston Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Perhaps the Disney villain we’re most likely to meet in real life, Gaston is the perfect example of toxic masculinity on full display. He’s a great anthithesis to the Beast, though I never saw him all that handsome, which sort of detracts just a little bit from the story. But in a story about how looks don’t matter, but actions do, he’s a great foil to the love interest. He’s a selfish hateful man who is handed everything he wants, and when he doesn’t get his way, he strongarms people until they meet his demands. Yet, despite his personality, he retains a legion of followers who are more-so admirers than actual friends. He never once considers anyone to be his equal or of sufficient worth unless it was helpful in his own endeavors. And anyone who has ever had a friend who basically used them and then ditched them at the soonest convenience can probably recognize that kind of so-called “friend” in Gaston. He’s a great villain to dissect as an analysis of our current culture, but I don’t want to write a five page essay on Gaston for a top 10 list. 

8. Yzma Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Inarguably Disney’s best comedic villain (not counting her henchman Kronk), Yzma is a brilliantly funny character whose exaggurated appearance and over-the-top personality blend well with the fast-paced slapstick comedy that fills the movie. Yet, despite being a funny villainess, she avoids a major pitfall of many comedic villains by also being legitimately threatening and dangerous to our heroes. That, combined with the excellent writing in the movie makes Yzma so memorable and likable.

7. Mother Gothel Tangled (2010)

Although her actual villainous actions in the movie are surprsingly few and far between, I genuinely love Mother Gothel as a villainess. Her motivations are well-established, and she’s the sole reason the story has any plot at all. Comparisons have been made to the living conditions of both Quasimodo and Rapunzel, and I would genuinely agree that Mother Gothel is akin to a diet version of Frollo without all the genocide and religious superiority. She has to be more discreet and pretend to be kind in order to keep her little flower content to remain obedient locked away from the outside world. It makes total sense the way she treats Rapunzel, and her entire character, personality, and role all fit together to enhance the narrative of the story.

6. Long John Silver Treasure Planet (2002)

Arguably one of the most human villains from Disney, Silver is a beautiful complexity as he juggles the duality of being a father-figure to the impressionable young Jim, while also betraying Jim’s trust. Since Jim’s father left when he was a child, Jim closes himself off from people and seems adrift in the world. Silver, who has no need to trick the boy for his mutiny to succeed, still takes the time to take Jim under his wing, nurture the boy’s abilities, and form a bond. Heck, with how relatively apathetic Jim was, he could have manipulated Jim into hating being on the ship, and thus have him be happy when the mutiny sets him free. But instead, he chose to teach the boy and boost his confidence. In the end, Silver is a compelling Anti-Villain where it’s hard to really define him as a good or wicked person. That is honestly more interesting than just being a straight deceitful villain.

5. Bill Sykes Oliver & Company (1988)

Perhaps the most surprising choice on my list, Sykes was a villain from Oliver & Company, a retelling of Oliver Twist with stray dogs and a kitten. However, despite Disney’s family friendly brand, Sykes is a surprisingly menacing character. A loan shark and a cut-throat business man, he spends most of the movie threatening to kill Fagin which is far darker than Disney tends to get. While many Disney villains want to kill people, those desires were driven by personal grievances with that person or people. With Sykes, it’s cold, ruthless business. He doesn’t care about Fagin’s life. All he cares about is getting his money, and Fagin’s life just happens to be the collateral. It’s the purest form of cold-blooded murder, and that’s not a common thing among Disney villains.

4. Ursula The Little Mermaid (1989)

There’s a good reason Ursula is one of the flagship villains of this franchise. She has a strong personality, is a great antagonist, and directly plays off the protagonist’s weaknesses to win. Second only to Scar, and possibly Jafar, Ursula is the classic hand-drawn animated Disney villain to get closest to winning. The fact that she’s based on a drag queen is kind of perfect, since the fairytale was written by Hans Christian Andersen to express his love for Edvard Collin discreetly. He intended to give it to Edvard as a wedding gift, but Edvard and his wife purposefully “forgot” to tell him when the wedding was out of fear that he’d make a scene or announce his love for Edvard in front of everyone. Thus, the mermaid’s taboo love of someone she shouldn’t who comes from an entirely different way of living is a direct parallel to Hans’ feelings for the young Gentleman, and the mermaid being unable to speak and suffering greatly to be near her love is a clear metaphor for Hans’ own feelings of torture. So the inclusion of a drag queen in a movie adaptation of a covert metaphorical gay romantic tragedy is just deliciously fitting. 

3. The Horned King The Black Cauldron (1984)

Sykes got a place on this list for being genuinely intimidating, but this villain is living nightmare fuel. One of the best things a genuinely threatening villain can do is successfully scare you, and this villain scared the living daylights out of me as a child. In fact, he was the only Disney villain to truly and completely scare me as a child. The rest of the villains were pretty much just bad characters, but the Horned King was far more terrifying than anything else I’d seen as a kid. Though his movie bombed and the story itself was a bit lacking, the Horned King was a genuinely horrifying presence, and to this day, I can’t think Disney Villains without this guy clawing his way into my mind. Maybe as a villain himself, he’s a bit flat, but he’s a horrific undead murderous monster trying to snuff out all life. He doesn’t need to be that complex for what he is, and that works with the type of villain that he was created to be.

2. Claude Frollo The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (1996)

If Sykes made it to number 5 for the cold-blooded attempt at murder on one person, Frollo strolls into 2nd place for his cold-blooded successful mass racial/ethnic genocide of multiple people over a long reign of tyranny. Although we don’t see his treats on-screen, he very verbally implies that he has been executing people one by one for at least twenty years as he crushes ants. We even see him barricade a family with children inside of their house and then proceed to burn it down. This man is not messing around, and I love it. When it coems to dark, twisted, and messed up villains, Frollo takes the cake. He is hands down one of the greatest and most horrible villains out there. And the fact that he does this all in the name of God is a hauntingly dark reminder of the true cruelty of the medieval Christian church. Frollo was written in the original book to be a deliberate critique of the Catholic church, and I for one am grateful that Disney decided to be faithful to Frollo’s horrible nature when adapting to film. 

1. Maleficent Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Finally, we reach the leader of the Disney Villains. How could I not put her at the top of this list? She literally fights with all the powers of Hell. But what I like most about her is what you can piece together from the narrative. Out of all the fairies, only Fauna thinks that Maleficent could be reasoned with, and she feels sad at the idea that Maleficent may not even grasp the concept of happiness, or what it feels like to be loved. This opens Maleficent up to being a product of abuse, abandonment, and bitterness. Her hatred for the world and her actions of spite and envy come into a new light with the idea that it’s kindled from neglect and exclusion from others. It offers the question of what would happen if someone did try to just talk to her, and offers a possibly sympathetic reading of her character. But, the true crux of what Maleficent stands for is that she’s evil, and she takes great pleasure in her evil ways. She cursed a baby because she wasn’t invited to a party. When it comes to pure, unfiltered evil, Maleficent has that in spades. So, Maleficent is a perfect character no matter which type you prefer as a villain: the tormented outcast lashing out, or the heartless monster lighting the world on fire for fun. No matter what kind of villain you prefer, there’s a way of reading her narrative to satisfy you.

[otnesse]

Reply to Narnia4life

"Humans KILL fish, and would, most of them, experiment with mermaids. In King Triton’s eyes it was like Ariel was in love with a terrorist. Which she sorta was, a terrorist of sea animals. Ariel was the immature one. She was the one who KNOWINGLY went to the sea witch, in order to gain legs. Something that could’ve ruined her whole kingdom, AND NEARLY DID. The only bratty one I see here is Ariel. She sacrifices future relationships with her family, her safety, and their safety to get her wants. She is selfish and dangerously naive, which is why she will always be my least favorite Disney princess. "

First of all, while it is true that humans would kill fish (and let's be fair, there's plenty in the undersea world that eat fish as well. Do I have to remind you of the shark attack in the opening, or how Ursula's debut scene had her eating live shrimp? Last I checked, Triton had little issue with the sharks, who are far more of a direct threat to his kingdom BTW, and the worst he did to Ursula was banish her, which is little more than a slap on the wrist for what she did [if anything, she deserved the death penalty for her little garden].), it's unlikely the humans would have tried to get merpeople or experiment on them. For goodness sakes, they didn't even have access to submarines at the time of the film, still used sailing ships. If anything, even if humans posed any threat, the merpeople would actually see humans coming long before they would even be aware, and even deliberately position themselves well outside any visual limits for humans, either standard or enhancements via telescopes. Not to mention, in the opening of the film, Eric clearly wasn't even AWARE of who King Triton was until a sailor mentioned him, and Grimsby implied he doesn't even exist, and said sailor actually RELEASED a fish just to do a good thing for Triton, implying he had some reverence to him.

Second of all, judging all of humanity to be terrorists is actually the worst way to go. Zamasu had the exact same idea in Dragon Ball Super, and he proved to be one of the franchises most evil villains as a result (arguably surpassing FRIEZA in vileness, and that guy was considered one of the series' most evil villains due to essentially being a genocidal dictator), and do I really have to remind you of how Judge Claude Frollo adhered to that exact line of thinking and how THAT turned out for him? Trying to protect Ariel from actual threats is one thing, and I can commend Triton for that, but implying humanity needed to be exterminated or at least not care if one drowned even when admitting you don't know him is below the pale.

Third of all, she went to Ursula while she was an emotional wreck, after Triton pretty much blew up her grotto in a fit of anger (which, based on Triton's reaction afterwards, even HE knew he crossed a very big line with that action there), and considering that Ursula sang a song about how she had reformed to sway her into the deal, Ariel most likely didn't even KNOW Ursula was still after Triton's throne and most likely did think she reformed (and for the record, she actually was hesitant throughout the whole deal, and in fact, when F&J tried to directly suggest she go see Ursula, she outright refused them DESPITE being in emotional distress, so it clearly wasn't an easy decision for her to do, and she implies that part of her hesitance towards going through with the deal DID in fact deal with possibly being separated permanently from her family.). For a good comparison, play Mega Man Battle Network 3 and get to the chapter where Mr. Match tricks Lan Hikari into committing cyber arson. I might as well point out something else as well, she if anything tried to AVOID risking her family and friends, considering she initially insisted on going alone with F&J. Your complaints are probably far better fit for her counterpart from the original tale by Hans Christian Anderson than Ariel. Heck, Belle would have been a far better fit for those complaints (especially the endangerment thing) than Ariel (since unlike Ariel who at least can be excused with thinking Ursula had turned a new leaf, Belle actually DID know exactly what Gaston was truly like when she exposed Beast to that lynch mob, especially after she very clearly deduced that Gaston had orchestrated the arrest of her father as blackmail to force her hand in marriage, and that nearly got Beast and his servants outright MURDERED, and only barely managed to end things for the better via sheer dumb luck on her part. Ariel at least worked hard to clean up the mess she caused, and defeating Ursula was an easy fix compared to the situation with Gaston and the lynch mob, where no amount of magic could fix the deaths that were inflicted even if Gaston was killed, especially if she arrived AFTER the last pedal fell.). If you were truly consistent with your arguments, you'd probably rank Belle as low as Ariel, if not even LOWER than her, for precisely those reasons. And heck, at least Ariel didn't blame her father for her mistakes, unlike Belle who blamed Beast for the events leading up to the Wolf Incident despite the whole situation actually being largely HER fault.

Also, Ariel isn't selfish or a brat by any stretch. In the opening of the movie, she literally risked becoming shark food to save Flounder from becoming that, she actually risked being hit by flaming projectiles caused by Eric's ship exploding to save Eric when he was launched into the water and nearly drowned, she saved Sebastian from becoming Grimsby's meal, and that was DESPITE her most likely holding residual anger towards him for squealing to her dad), she let Vanessa marry Eric under the belief that he chose Vanessa, without even raising a hand against the marriage, despite not only being heartbroken by the decision, but her likely suffering eternal damnation at Ursula's hands as a result due to the nature of the deal, and in fact, when she did try to stop the wedding, it was ONLY after learning that Vanessa was Ursula in disguise and that she brainwashed Eric, in what was explicitly against her deal.), and last, but not least, when Ursula cursed her father, Ariel's first action is to try and outright ATTACK Ursula to avenge him, not gloat at Triton. And that's not even counting how she destroyed F&J when Ursula tried to destroy Eric with the Trident, saving his life again, or telling Eric to leave her behind (for that matter, that's not even counting the extension media featuring her). She if anything is one of the LEAST selfish DPs (if you ask me, her original counterpart was considerably more selfish, even WITH her deciding to spare the prince twice. I actually was not fond of the original tale for that reason, especially when she was essentially rewarded for the mass amounts of bad behavior she displayed in the book. If anything, the Disney version was an improvement.). Now, that all being said, I WILL agree with you that Ariel was naïve in the original film, and that such WAS a flaw of hers.

And don't think that in my defense of Ariel that I think Triton's a bad character by any stretch. Far from it, I if anything actually rank King Triton as being among the best Disney fathers, alongside Fa Zhou, Dr. James Possible, the remake version of Maurice, Mufasa, Simba in the sequels, and the 1959 film version of King Stefan, due to his coming across as genuinely impressive rather than an essentially an overgrown kid, a jerkwad, or incompetent (the latter three unfortunately being a common depiction of Disney fathers right now), not to mention actually protecting Ariel when it occurs and patching up relations with her. That doesn't mean I can't call him out on bad behavior or think he's blameless (and BTW, I also realize Ariel isn't blameless, so don't think I'm playing favorites, it's just that unlike you, I DON'T demonize Ariel despite being aware of her flaws, including naivety.).

[demigodoftheatre]

Ok but like, i understand where this is coming from but it’s not strictly true. Sometimes the most resonant story is one where the hero sacrifices what they’ve struggled all their life for to preserve something bigger, and sometimes just bringing them back because they deserve to be happy is cheap. Big Romantic emotions are just as compelling as grand triumphs.

Like look at Hunchback of Notre Dame, an obscure choice but one of my favorites, because we can compare the disney movie to the disney stage version. Quasimodo dreams his whole life of being a part of the world “out there” and finally fights for it. In the movie there is a happy ending at the end where everyone lives, Quasimodo learns that he isn’t entitled to Esmeralda’s love but her friendship leads for him to be accepted into society. It’s good. I love the movie.

But the stage musical brings it closer to the original story. Quasimodo rescues Esmeralda from the stake and makes a stand by bringing her back into Notre Dame but is too late and she dies, with a faithful friend, believing that a better world will come someday. This spurs Quasimodo to confront Frollo, his abuser, and finally unleash the emotional climax of both their character arcs by easily overpowering him physically and throwing him to his death from the roof of Notre Dame (heavy symbolism). It’s a soul wrenching tragedy and Quasimodo wastes away in the cemetery with Esmeralda, leaving their skeletons entwined and crumbling to dust. But the world moves on. Their sacrifices stood in the face of Frollo’s genocide and paved the way for progress. The hopeful echos of Esmeralda’s Someday rise like a new dawn over the tragic ending. Every character arc is fulfilled but nobody got what they wanted. It’s tragic and full of emotions and beautiful. It reminds you about hope after failure.

I think OP’s statement is more relevant in like, cases of a tv show or something killing a character unexpectedly and wringing it for cheap drama without tying it to their character arc. THAT is unfulfilling. Nobody wants to see Quasimodo struggle with abuse, faith, and morality through the whole movie then trip and fall into the fire when he tries to rescue Esmeralda, or be killed by Frollo before he gets to confront him. It’s not about happiness I think, it’s about the Drama. Tragedy can, and should happen if it’s suitably dramatic.

I mean, I know a lot of people don’t want to see the tragedy at all and only want happy stories, which is fine! Not everyone like everything. But There are definitely a lot of people (me included) who love huge dramatic emotions and epic deeds reflected in horrible sacrifices. We like stories that make us feel big Romantic emotions, not necessarily happy ones but strong ones.

No one wants you to drop the ball at the last minute and deny us a meaningful conclusion to a character’s story.

[mysteryfanfictheatre3000]

Back to the Frollo: Chapter 3

Warning: sexualization of a genocidal rapist.

Chapter Three

"Claude", I asked, "whatever possessed you to do such a thing?" I was, of course, referring to the discharge of his lieutenant and the resultant cruel prank. "I told you what could possibly happen and sure enough...." I was more than a little annoyed. Having to interrupt a pleasant evening just to soothe his bruised ego, I must have lost my head. "Had is ever occurred to you that this soldier would have it in for you? That there are folks out there who would be bold enough to pull such a prank, and NOT get caught?"

I just… what. What even? Why is she upset at the prospect of him having his clothes stolen and not at him wanting to torture, rape and murder people?

Claude Frollo, now fully dressed, adjusted the familiar triangular hat with its long, red silk veil. Then he wheeled around and glared at me. "Honestly, Danisha! Spare me the lecture!", as he raised his hands in exasperation. "I indulge in a little recreation -- `Do something to relieve the stress', as you are always telling me. How was I to know what was about to transpire? Oh really, darling, this 'sister-in-a-snit' routine. While at times I find it somewhat amusing, right now it is not very becoming! How I perform my duties and indulge my free time is none of your concern!"

I thought they were dating? Why are they arguing now? Why is she in love with him if he treats her like this (and also, y’know, the rapist-murderer thing?)

I felt tears well-up in my eyes. He had never before spoken to me so harshly. Claude sensed my reaction, softened his tone and took me in his arms. "Forgive me, Nisha", he whispered sweetly in my ear, "I shouldn't have berated you like that. It's just that I was so angry, so... oh my sweet love..." He kissed me deeply and tenderly. "You always come through for me. And what do I do? Rail away at you when I should be showing my gratitude."

Because this guy- who, may I repeat, tried to burn a young woman to death for refusing him- would totally be comforting and kind to her.

I gave him my 'what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it' look and asked, with hands on hips, "And just HOW grateful are you, Claude Frollo?" A broad, seductive smile spread across his handsome face. In a playful voice and with a cute little wiggle of the hips he replied, "Oh...I can think of...a few things." Oh why, I thought, does he have to be so damned fine? He cut quite a figure in his black, purple-trimmed velvet tunic, and pants that fitted oh-so-tight. The sweeping cape. That hat! Those boots! I swear I wanted to...well...right then and there. Hold on, hot stuff, I thought as I surveyed the dark little alley with trash piled here and there, this is hardly the place.

Oh my god, please don’t have smut, please don’t have smut-

"Back to the Palace?" Claude pondered a bit. "No, my dear. They are most likely swarming all over the place by now." He eyed the Camry then gave me a sly glance. "Great minds think alike, don't they, baby?", I said as I opened the door on the passenger side. Claude settled himself in soft velour seats as I walked around to the other side. Boy, I thought, this evening's not a total washout after all. Claude buckled his safety belt as I began to switch on the ignition. He looked at me with questioning eyes, "Well? Have we forgotten something?” I strapped on my safety belt; I forget how much Claude cares about my well-being.

Not only does Claude Frollo know what a car is, he also knows what a seatbelt is and how to use one. Makes perfect sense!

"Are you sure this will work a second time?", he asked. "It got me here, didn't it?", came the reply. Claude Frollo smiled. "Drive on then."

So this time travel thing is unreliable? Why did she go about 600 years into the past to bring a guy some clothes without knowing if she’d be able to go back?

Guiding the little Camry down the narrow streets, we came to the immense square near the Palace of Justice. Just as Claude predicted, a horde of young women crowded around the Palace's main entrance. "Turn off the lights", Claude whispered. I doused the lights. "Now what?", I asked. "Drive toward Notre Dame," he directed, "they wouldn't dream of going there. At least I hope not!"

No one notices or cares about this car, really? They make noise! They have lights! And it’s barreling down the street directly into a cathedral! Does no one care?!

I complied and drove toward the cathedral. It was amazing how quickly we reached the Place de Notre-Dame, and without being detected. "Do you have to enough room to do this?", Claude asked. "We'll find out." The Camry was in position. "Brace yourself", as my foot pressed down hard on the accelerator. Claude's eyes were wide with alarm, and, just before I reached under the dash and depressed the violet button, he saw Quasimodo at the front entrance of Notre Dame. "Don't worry, Master!", Quasi called out, "I won't tell a soul!" "What a sweet little guy", I remarked just before a bright, white light engulfed us. Claude, shielding his eyes, replied, "I can always count on him." He closed his eyes tightly as we sped through time and space. Then darkness again.

So Quasimodo knows about, and is okay with, Frollo just leaving with some random chick? In a car? To time-travel? The way Frollo says he “can always count on him” makes me again wonder what the time frame is. Is this before the events of the movie? After? Where the hell are Esmeralda and Phoebus?

* * * * * "You can open your eyes now, honey", I said as I guided the car through downtown streets. Claude Frollo slowly opened his eyes. With a sigh of relief, he turned to me and said, "I never thought a 20th century American city would be such a welcomed sight. Besides, I needed to get out from under all that.....isn't that the American Legion Mall? Lovely grounds...very green and well-laid out." I knew he was trying to make small talk, but I didn't mind. He had just come through a highly embarassing and nerve-wracking ordeal and he really needed a little release.

Why does he know so much about America? Did Christopher Columbus even sail the ocean blue when this takes place? I’m assuming not!

"Yes, that's it", I replied, watching the way he toyed with the radio. "Here, Claude", as I fumbled around in the console between the seats. "Pop this in the CD player." Claude Frollo burst into smiles and laughter. "Ray Charles'--'Night Time is the Right Time'! I remember when you sang this to me the first night we...." Still chuckling, Claude loaded the silvery disc into the player, hit the play button, and soon we were singing along with Ray as we cruised up Meridian Street towards the northside neighborhood where I lived.

So he both knows about and enjoys Ray Charles, and can operate a CD player in a car? Why and how?

[mysteryfanfictheatre3000]

Back to the Frollo, Chapter 10

Warning: No one kills Hitler in this one.

Chapter Ten

"So you finally met him, eh?", chuckled Fern as I mentioned my first few meetings with Claude Frollo. She kept laughing as I helped her unload supplies from a wagon. One nice thing about Jacki's invention was that we were able to travel back and forth through time and space with little trouble.

And you’re using this revolutionary technology to go to 1400s France, do absolutely nothing important or interesting, and mess with the plot of a Disney movie. You could be killing Hitler right now, couldn’t you?

Fern and I had just returned from a special shopping trip back home; we had to stock up on things that we couldn't possibly get in 15th century France: corn, sweet potatoes, sugar, coffee, and other foods we took for granted in our own time. We were getting somewhat homesick.

So go home. No one wants you here, and again, I’m more comfortable with these crazies being in America where they’re powerless and jail is a thing.

We even brought back some recorded music. This was Fern's idea, though I was apprehensive about bringing the CDs. Jacki had rigged a special device on a boombox so we could listen to recorded music whenever we wanted. I never asked Jacki how it worked, must've been solar-powered, since we obviously had no electricity. All I knew was it worked.

This Jacki chick is a genius. Why is she devoting all her advancements in science to helping her teacher’s friend fall in love with an elderly priest from centuries ago instead of actually doing anything good in the world?

So now I had my Motown and R&B, and Fern had her country tunes. We had to either keep the volume down or listen with headphones. We would've had a LOT of explaining to do if we ever got caught, and I knew what the charge would be: Witchcraft.

She keeps worrying about being accused of being a witch, but she keeps bringing back unnecessary future technology that would heighten everyone’s suspicions of her being a witch!

I never told Fern everything about my encounters with Frollo nor did I tell her my true feelings for the Minister of Justice, that I was gradually falling in love with him, and he didn't even know. Fern just gave me a stern warning. "Please try to stay out of trouble, especially if it involves Minister Frollo." She looked at me intently. "I'd hate to tell your folks that their darling daughter's -- ahem -- 'tied up' in Paris and won't be coming home."

Tied up as in tied to a pyre about to get burned to death? Because that seems like it could happen.

She then embraced me, chuckling in that southern Indiana twang, "Girlfriend, if you want to be friendly with the likes of Claude Frollo, that's your business." As Fern settled herself in the wagon and took the reins in hand, she said, "It's weird but it's your business. Just be careful."

It is weird, but it’s absolutely your business because Danisha messing the most powerful man in Paris could absolutely get you both killed.

"Don't worry about me, Fern", I said, "I won't get in trouble." Fern left for that old chateau where she kept the '59 Chevy. She said she had to take care of some business. Odd, I thought, she never let me venture inside that magnificant house. I always had to stay outside while Fern readied the Chevy. The car remained secure in another building on the estate. How could she just stash the car on private property without permission? Why hasn't anyone discovered it by now? Why hasn't anyone questioned our comings and goings? And why were these trips always made at night?

Probably because you’re a sick weirdo and she wants to get away from you. And how is she living here anyway? Why is Danisha referring to Fern’s chateau as private property she isn’t supposed to be on? I thought she owned the house somehow. Is she just casually living with a random Parisian family?

I pushed those thoughts from my mind as I pondered Fern's warning, 'be careful'. There was no need to be extra cautious around Claude Frollo any more, as I encountered him several times since that odd business in the cathedral. Just pleasant small talk and a few smiles passed between us, nothing more. I really felt that we could finally become friends. What happened later that morning proved me right. A nice compliment and some homebaking at last helped to break the ice.

Home baking is two words. Also, that would probably make him sick, seeing as he’s never had 90% of modern-day foods.

Fern had brought back so many pecans that I decided to take advantage of the pleasant late-June weather and do some baking. I baked a variety of wonderful things: cookies for the kids, a pie for Quasimodo. I then packed some cookies in a pretty tin for Minister Frollo; he should appreciate this.

So she just wanders around giving people strange food they’ve never seen before? Also, how is she cooking right now? Modern stove tops and ovens didn’t exist back then. Is it another of Jacki’s marvelous inventions that won’t be mentioned ever again unless the plot demands it?

I must've had an attack of ESP, for at that very moment, Claude Frollo had just rode past our house. I immediately went to the door and started to call out to him. He must've sensed my presence as he circled back and stopped. Oh, he looks so handsome! He wasn't wearing the splendid black velvet judicial robe with its jewel-trimmed yoke and epaulets. Instead, he wore a casual, hunter-style outfit complete with tall boots, tunic, form-fitting black hose, a sweeping cloak, and the famous triangular hat with its long red veil. The entire ensemble fitted his tall, slender form perfectly.

Every time she describes him like this, I think I lose a year off my lifespan.

Claude Frollo smiled as he greeted me. "Good Morning, my dear. And what a good morning it is now that I have seen your charming face." I returned the smile and, feeling a little silly, replied in a mock-Southern, down-on-de-ole-plantation dialect, "Mornin', Min'ster Frollo, suh. Much 'bliged y'all kin stop by an' set a spell. I has some pow'ful tasty pecan cake in yonder. Y'all sho' is welcomed."

Why does she speak in these weird, racist old dialects when she’s trying to flirt? No part of that makes me think “sexy,” it makes me think she’s an idiot.

Claude Frollo couldn't stop laughing as he dismounted and approached me. "Is this the language of the New World? It's rather odd and harsh...", he said as I welcomed him inside. "Coming from you, my dear Mlle. Wood, it is like pure music." "I would be delighted", continued Frollo, "to partake some light refreshment, especially in the company of such a beautiful hostess."

I can’t even talk about how out of character this is without being redundant anymore. He’s an abusive genocidal maniac! Why is he flirting with a girl and eating cookies?!

I tried to keep my nervousness from showing during Frollo's brief visit, but here he was, the Minister of Justice himself, sharing a piece of cake, a cup of lemonade, and pleasant conversation. Frollo favorably commented on my baking skills and developed a fondness for pecans that persists to this day. It was a pleasant, although short, visit. My heart sank as I showed him to the door.

And then he threw up because you’re overloading his odd with food he’s never had before, chock-full of chemicals and microorganisms that didn’t exist back then and would make him sick.

"Good looking horse, Your Grace", I said as Frollo mounted that gorgeous black stallion. I handed over the tin of cookies. "Percheron stallion, am I right?", I asked. Claude Frollo grinned. "You are as keenly observant as you are lovely. How did you know?" "My grandpa owned Belgians", I replied, "and I just like big horses." I asked, "What's his name?" "I call him 'Snowball'", replied His Grace. I looked at Frollo quizzically. "Minister Frollo, this horse is not white, he's black. Naming a black horse 'Snowball'?...That's like naming a polar bear 'Midnight'."

THATSTHEJOKE.JPG

I was certain that the good judge would slap me upside my head, but he just softly chuckled and said, "My dear, never lose that special style of humor. I will admit I am getting used to it..." He paused for a few seconds, then adding at last, "And getting used to you."

That’s not funny, that’s just her not understanding a simple joke.

His eyes met mine and he grew strangely silent. We looked at each other for several moments, then Claude Frollo spoke at last. "I thank you for the treats. I'd love to stay longer but I do have duties to perform." I offered him a bright smile. "Minister Frollo, you're welcomed here anytime. I know you're busy, but, drop by every now and then." Claude Frollo returned the smile. "I shall," he said, "Oh yes, one more thing. Do call me 'Claude'. I know you have been very polite and formal, but we know each other well enough to be on Christian terms, Danisha." He smiled again, said good-bye, and rode off.

He’s not even “on Christian terms” with Quasimodo, the baby he raised for years! Why is he so buddy-buddy with this chick he just met?

It was so weird, I thought, that only a few days ago we were at odds. Now Claude and I were growing closer with each passing day, but only as friends. I didn't care what people said about him, about his cruel nature and cold-heartedness. In those early days of our friendship, Claude always treated me with patience and kindness.

Does it really matter if he “treats you with kindness” if he tried to rape and murder another woman and commit genocide against an entire people? I mean, the fact that he likes your food shouldn’t erase literally every bad thing he’s ever done. And he’s done a lot of them.

Often I would go to the Palace of Justice and we would read poetry to each other. Sometimes Claude would show me his collection of tapestries because, somehow, he knew of my keen interest in the textile arts. For several weeks, I had hoped that things would change for us, but I didn't have the guts to tell him that I loved him. I imagined he'd be offended if I confessed my true feelings; he never voiced his for me.

What’s more romantic than sharing poetry in front of soldiers getting tortured?

Maybe it was all for the best, since, as of August, I would never see him again. I decided to treasure the close bond between us while my vacation lasted. But an innocent game -- a game that wouldn't be invented for another 400 years -- nearly ended a special friendship that was destined to blossom into romance and passion.

Just out of curiosity, why can’t you see him again? What’s stopping you from going back in time? You have all this miracle technology, why can’t you use it?

[mysteryfanfictheatre3000]

Back to the Frollo, Chapter 6

Warning: useless Tupperware trivia.

The kitchen was full of the warm, savory scent of spicy barbequed ribs. Claude uncorked a bottle of blush wine, while favorably commenting on my home and decor. It was a modest house, nothing like those splendid mansions on Meridian, but it was comfortable and in a nice neighborhood. It didn't have stately columns or an expansive, well-manicured lawn, but it sported a wide front porch with a swing and a fairly spacious backyard full of late fall flowers.

Why does the reader care about the state of Danisha’s house?

I produced the bowl of potato salad I had made for a Saturday afternoon-with-the-girls pitch-in. I guess I'll have to skip our little hen party, I thought, grinning; I'll really have my hands full this weekend. With a flourish, I set the plastic bowl on the table where Claude was sitting.

Who are “the girls?” Are they more members of Frollo’s seemingly endless harem?

He looked at the bowl's lid and loftily said, "Ah, the noble contributions of Earl Tupper. What a fine example of mid-20th century suburban Americana." Then he examined the bowl's shape, spinning it between the tips of his fingers and, after wrinkling his nose, said, "I'm sorry, my dear, but that really is a hideous shade of pink." "Now Claude", I pretended to bristle at his attack on my Tupperware, "I happen to like my bowl. Besides, you don't hear me complain about YOUR dishes back at the Palace!"

He comments on disliking the shade of her Tupperware. Also, how does he know about Earl Tupper? I'm a modern-day American girl and I didn't know him, why would Frollo be able to name him instantly? Why does he have such extensive knowledge of modern America? Even if he's visited Danisha before, when would the inventor of Tupperware ever come up in conversation?

"Touche, my love", he said laughingly, "but I was just making a comment on...Oh Nisha, that looks so delicious!" Claude began focusing on the food as I placed the platter of ribs before him. I learned a long time ago that if all else fails, give Claude Frollo good food and plenty of it. Honestly, I thought, how can one man have such a hearty appetite and remain so slim and trim? Must be chasing all those criminals all day, or just keeping up with all his ladies.

Chasing “criminals,” or murdering innocent women and committing genocide? In my experience it seems like it would be the latter.

"What is so funny?", Claude playfully asked me, for he quickly noticed me trying to suppress a giggle. "Oh, just something that happened at work today." I tried to play it off but I don't think he bought it. He just sat there and helped himself to barbeque, salad, and bread. We enjoyed a pleasant late-evening supper. The wine helped smooth over any awkwardness in the conversation; he didn't discuss his work or, thank goodness, the day's difficulties. Instead he asked me about my family, my work, and my plans for the weekend.

Because he cares about that.

"Mmm, leading question... Are you planning on spending the weekend with me, Claude?" I smiled. "Maybe, maybe not...It depends", he replied with a grin to match my own. "I thought we could take a drive to... Where was that place we visited last fall? Brown County?" "But the colors haven't peaked yet, baby", I said, watching him neatly lick sauce from his long, slender fingers. Claude looked at me and said, "I am aware of that. But it's such a lovely place. All those hills and forests. I can't think of a more pleasant way to spend a Saturday afternoon." With that, he rose from the table, walked over to the sink, and washed his hands. "It doesn't matter where or how, Danisha, just as long as I'm able to spend time with you, my dear".

This is both overly sappy and incredibly stupid and unrealistic. Also, if he loved her and America this much, why doesn't he just stay here? Like I said before, no one in France cares. They'd probably be happy to see him gone. I, for one, would rather have this guy in a modern-day society where he holds no power and murder and rape will get him thrown in jail.

"Well then", I responded, while clearing the remains of our supper, "how about just knocking about town tomorrow? We can go to Lilly Orchard, wander through Broad Ripple, whatever you fancy." "Sounds delightful," he murmured softly. He kissed me and led me back into the living room. We cuddled in front of the fireplace and then one thing just led to another.(For obvious reasons, dear readers, FrolloFreak would rather not go into details)

I don't get what this story is supposed to be. It's like erotica without the smut. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she skipped that, but… why? I thought this was aimed at people who, for whatever reason, have a Frollo fetish. I don't understand the point without the sex.

**************

It was nearly dawn. I awoke and watched Claude Frollo as he slept. How peaceful, how utterly adorable he looks, I thought, as I gently stroked his soft gray hair and traced his handsome features.

Who’s cuter than a middle-aged rapist genocidal maniac?

My mind raced back to that summer. Images of me, Claude, and Quasimodo flashed before me. And then there was Fern. Oh, Fern! My old friend and colleague who, along with others, was instrumental in bringing Claude and me together. What I thought was just another wildly imaginative fantasy brought on by too much heat and humidity became all so real.

This is like My Immortal’s Raven and Tara/Willow and Ebony, but with this author and her friend instead. It's not a good thing.

My flashback was interrupted by Claude's stirrings. "Oh...Nisha, darling", he began as he stretched his long, lean body. "Mmmm?" I responded as I rolled back closer to him. "Good morning, my love", he softly said, kissing my lips. "How long have you been awake? It's not quite dawn." "Not long, Claude. Just long enough to remember..." Claude finished my sentence, "When we met? How we fell in love?"

I don't want to know how, but you can bet your butt this author's going to shove it down our throats anyway.

"Uh, huh." "What are you thinking?" he said, smiling but slightly uneasy, all the same. "Oh, just about how things work out... We didn't hit it off right away. In fact, I made you mad several times, such as that time I smashed your window..."

What? She smashed a window of the cathedral of Notre Dame, where Frollo lives? Because that's not funny or sassy, that's just destroying a historical artifact and a priceless work of art.

Claude exploded with laughter and relief, "Oh that! Please don't remind me! You were very apologetic, but, you displayed a - what's your word? "Sassy"? - you showed a sassy side which at the time I did not find so amusing." "But you soon found out you really cared for me, sweet Claude, sassiness and all", I said, as I kissed his cheek. Claude Frollo just smiled and closed his eyes again. "Let me sleep a little longer, darling. I normally do not get this luxury..."

Again: if he likes the 21st century so much, he's welcome to stay. It's better for him to be here where he’ll get arrested for rape and murder than it is for him to be left alone in Paris to commit genocide against Roma wherever he feels like it.

His voice trailed off as he snuggled next to me and drifted back to sleep. I cradled him as he slept and my mind wandered back to images of a 1990s American woman and a very complex 1480s Parisian man.

Oh, this is set in the 90s. So I guess 21st century should probably be 20th… whatever. The sentiment still holds.