#this actually happened to me once on this guy’s truck tailgate but he literally moved 2 provinces the next day so that was

[ktsumu]

just want to get kissed until i’m boneless on the hood of a car is that seriously too much to ask now

[daveeddiggsit]

Broken, but Not Shattered

WIDEOUT MASTERLIST

Series: WIDEOUT (chpt vii)

Note: This took me so long to write. Partly bc I kept getting distracted from other projects, but partly bc it’s a hella long chapter. ANYWAYS, i really hope you enjoy. To me, it feels like a movie, but let me know your thoughts! Enjoy :)

Word Count: 10.1k

Pairing: Football Player!Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Warnings: injury. T has a panic attack at some point. poor T, he just needs a hug :( implied sex. angst. cursing. smooches. mental health struggle in wake of an incident. anxiety.

Summary: During your Senior year of high school, an unfortunate event happens during Thomas’ last football game of the regular season. Thomas gets pushed to his limits mentally and physically. How does your relationship fare in the wake of his injury?

Tagging: @coololdsoulpoetlove @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @lilangeldevil006 @pana-ce-a​ @merrahonthawall @katierpblogg @thespianbooks @a-hopeless-fan @uniquelystarchildthedragon @wcreech @sabbrriiinnaa @imperial-martian @harpersmariano @icanneverbesatisfied @underthewillowtreerycb @i-know-i-can​

ELEVEN MONTHS LATER...

Your high school holds an annual tailgate before the final home football game of each season. This is the first time you are motivated (and excited) to attend the tailgate. The past three years, you’d decided to skip out, but due to this year being your Senior year (Thomas also may or may not have something to do with it), you partake in this year’s festivities along with the rest of the student body.

After the bell rings, dismissing everybody from their last class of the day, a sea of students migrates down to the football stadium. There, you and Maria discover food vendors of all sorts along with party games that are scattered around the perimeter of the stadium and in the parking lot. It almost feels like a carnival in a way, except there are no rides and you’re surrounded by a bunch of kids with a copious amount of school pride. 

You and your best friend have fun and roam around for some time, getting a bite to eat at a vendor here and there. Everyone around you is having a blast, whether they’re walking around in their friend groups or playing games.

Eventually, you and Maria go to get some ice cream, but on the way you run into Ellie, a cheerleader who also happens to be a Senior. You’ve gotten to know her well due to your now frequent presence at Panther Football games and because she’s in your English class. You also hear a lot about her from Maria, who probably spends more time photographing the cheerleader than the actual football games now since they’ve met. You notice that she speaks of Ellie while gushing about her beauty and intelligence extremely often; it’s safe to say that Maria has an immense crush on her.

“Oh, hey, guys! Nice to see you.” Ellie says with a smile, causing you and your best friend to stop walking.

Although the cheerleader has greeted you both, her gaze barely wavers from Maria, and suddenly you feel like you are intruding. That’s when you decide that it’s time to become Maria’s wingwoman.

“Hey!” You grin widely, looking between her and Maria. “Ellie! Maria was actually just talking about you.” Your best friend’s eyes widen at your lack of subtlety. 

“Really?” Ellie asks, her eyes brightening up as she turns her full attention to Maria who blushes slightly. 

She coughs lightly to try and cover it up before her eyes quickly flit over to you in a panic. You raise your eyebrows and use your hand to gesture her to go on.

“Oh, um…” Maria starts, pulling your gaze away from you and towards Ellie. “Yeah, El, I uh was…” She glances up at you again over Ellie’s shoulder and you point to the ice cream truck next to you and mouth, ‘get ice cream.’ “...wondering if you wanted to come and get some ice cream with me? Us. At the truck.”

You have never ever, in your seven years of best friendship, seen Maria act this nervous around a girl… let alone need your help to talk to someone she likes. There’s something about this Ellie girl that has turned Maria completely shy and you can’t help but gush at how cute the both of them are.

“Oh, yeah! I’d really like that.” Ellie says happily, causing Maria to grin. They both turn around to walk towards the ice-cream truck and Maria stops for a second, noticing that you’re not with them anymore.

“Y/N, are you coming?” She asks, slightly more comfortable now that Ellie’s accepted her offer. 

“No, you guys go. I just uh…” You try to think of an excuse when suddenly your phone vibrates, luckily giving you one. You glance down at it, seeing a text pop up from your boyfriend. “I just got a text from Thomas, so I should probably go meet him. You guys have fun, though!”

Ellie nods, saying, “We will! See you around, Y/N,” before gently grabbing Maria’s arm to lead her away. 

Beaming, Maria turns her head towards you and mouths, “thanks, love you.” You send her a wink and blow her a kiss, watching her walk away with her soon-to-be beau. This is the happiest you’ve seen her in a long time and you’re beyond excited to see her finally want to start dating someone again after her last breakup with her lying ex-boyfriend, Alexander.

Satisfied with your work, you turn to walk through the crowds of students and towards the underneath of the bleachers: the breathtakingly romantic spot Thomas has chosen for you to meet.

When you arrive, you don’t spot him for a second before you feel a pair of arms snake around your waist from behind. A familiar voice sounds next to your ear, causing you to shiver unintentionally. “You’re looking mighty cute today, princess. You come here often?”

You relax against the warm body behind you once you realize who the voice belongs to. A small smile spreads across your cheeks as you respond. “Under the bleachers? Nah. I’m only here because I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”

“Oh?” You can hear the smile in his voice as his arms wrap more snuggly around you. “Well, he must be a very lucky guy.”

You lean your head back against Thomas’ shoulder. “Yep. Extremely lucky, considering the fact that we’re both standing in the space where people do God knows what during games.”

He just laughs and nuzzles his face into your neck, his warm breath fanning out against you. He presses a few kisses there before his lips trail up to your cheek to press a chaste peck there as well. “I was wonderin’ how long it was gonna take for you to show up.” Thomas murmurs against your skin and your eyes flutter shut at the contact.

You muster up the strength to turn your body in his arms so that you can face him. Thomas is breathtakingly handsome as always, sporting his charcoal football jersey over a dark hoodie and a pair of black ripped jeans. He’s beaming and smiling down at you like you’re his whole world. 

“It wasn’t that long.” You roll your eyes with a lazy grin tugging at your lips. “I was hanging with Maria until we ran into Ellie, so I left them alone to come meet you.”

“Yeah? They together yet? They keep dancin’ around each other; one of them needs to make a move.”

You laugh at Thomas’ words. “Hey, you make it sound like it’s easy.”

“They’re so obviously into each other! They need to just confess their feelings and get together. Can’t be that difficult.” Thomas shrugs, looking down at you.

You just give him a pointed look. “You’re one to talk, Jefferson. Do you remember how nervous you were before our first kiss? Your hands were literally shaking…”

Thomas withdraws his touch from your waist and crosses his arms over his chest. He licks his lips and looks away for a second before he speaks. “Alright, alright, come on, now.” His deadpanned gaze shifts back to you, but the glint in his eyes is playful. “You still gonna hold that over me? It’s almost been a year.”

You splay your arms out innocently as your mouth falls open with a smile. “It was cute!”

“I was vulnerable, Y/N!” He responds dramatically with wide eyes. “I didn’t know what you were feeling. What if you’d rejected me?”

“Well, I didn’t.” You take a step closer to him, reaching your hands up to wrap around his forearms to pull his arms back down around you, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, you’re just standing there with your hands on his forearms as you two stare at each other. “T, I obviously didn’t reject you.”

“I know that now.” Thomas finally unfolds his arms and brushes his hands up your arms and down your body before they come to a stop at your waist again. He hugs you close to him before he speaks again. “But I wasn’t sure if you were even into me like that back then.”

You grin, looking up at him and settling your hands on his chest. “Exactly, so don’t blame El and M for not rushing things. Let them figure it out on their own.”

“Alright, point made, sweetheart, point made.” He laughs, rolling his eyes before staring down at you with a gaze that you can’t quite describe. It makes your breath catch in your throat and your heart swell. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s soft but firm at the same time and it has a certain fondness to it that you can’t decipher — it’s like he’s sure of something, but doesn’t want to voice it. 

The comfortable silence between you stretches on as he continues to stare unabashedly. 

You grab a hold of the black polyester material of his jersey to pull him closer. “What?” You ask, breathing out a nervous laugh.

Thomas snaps out of his gaze by releasing a chuckle before he leans down, causing his face to near yours. His smile reaches his eyes and causes your heart to soar. “Nothin’... just—” His eyes flicker down to your lips for a split second. “You’re a good friend, baby.”

“Yeah?” You whisper, grinning as your noses brush against each other.

“Mhm.” He hums before he leans in to sweetly press his mouth to yours.

The kiss warms you up as his hands leave your waist to hold your face gently. Your fingers clutch his jersey tightly, pulling him against you as his lips slowly capture yours again and again, leaving you breathless.

Kissing Thomas never gets old; it’s always like a breath of fresh air. You revel in the sense of presence he creates every time you’re close to him. It’s relaxing, giving you a feeling of home and familiarity that only he can provide.

You two just stay there for a bit, hugging each other closely as the sounds of music and chatter from students can be heard in the distance. You’re content in his warm embrace, and he’s the only thing keeping you warm in the chilly Autumn weather.

Some time later, Thomas leads you out from under the bleachers to walk to the topside of them. You two sit at the front row towards the bottom of the vacant seats. Leaning your head against Thomas’ shoulder, you look out to the empty football field.

“So, a scout for W&M Football is gonna be at the game today.” Thomas voices softly, causing you to pull back enough to look him in the eye. “Coach said he’s been talking to him about me, so he flew out to watch me play in person.”

“Really? Holy shit, Thomas, that’s amazing.” You say, grinning and reaching a hand up to tenderly hold his cheek. “I’m proud of you, babe.”

He smiles and looks down bashfully before he gazes back at you. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, sweetheart. Haven’t impressed the guy enough to get a scholarship yet.”

“Exactly. ‘Yet.’ You will, you know that.” You say, moving your hand back down to lightly nudge his arm. “You’re the most ‘confident’ guy I know.” You put air quotes around confident because that’s what Thomas dubs himself instead of letting himself get called cocky.

He laughs, shaking his head before he looks back out, squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight. The golden rays bring out the brown in his curls and eyes, making them a more honey shade. “That I am, I suppose.”

“You nervous?” You ask, watching him closely. As much as Thomas pegs himself the confident (and sometimes arrogant by others) one on the outside, you know that he’s still human and experiences times of unsureness.

“For the game or the scout?”

“Both.” You answer, shrugging, watching a golf cart fly by on the track in front of you.

Thomas glances back at you and momentarily admires the way the sunlight illuminates your face. A smile spreads across his lips before he responds. “To be honest? Not really.” He says, causing you to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “For the game? Not nervous at all. We beat Easton by 30 points last time we played them. And as far as the W&M scout goes, I am a bit nervous, but I know I should be fine as long as I play like I normally do.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “Wow… and here I was thinking that Thomas Jefferson was turning a little modest on me.”

He just laughs, his gaze playful as he looks at you. “Never, darlin’. Can’t be unsure of myself when I got my girl on the sideline as my good luck charm.”

You grin and shake your head at him. “Well, for what it’s worth and not that you need any more words of encouragement — because you seem to have it all figured out,” You give him a pointed look that’s more teasing than anything serious. “I think you’re gonna be great today, T.” You say sweetly, perching your chin on his shoulder. 

Thomas’ grin brightens and he moves to place his lips gently on your forehead before he wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. He rests his head on top of yours as you both turn to watch the white lines on the turf get freshly painted over in preparation for the game later.

“Your words will always mean more to me than you think, sweetheart.” He says softly. 

⋆﹥ ━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Maria shows up later than usual to the sideline to start setting up her gear. You can’t help but be slightly suspicious about her previous whereabouts and you wonder if it has to do with a certain cheerleader.

“Sooo…” You start off, the corner of your mouth twisting up into a knowing grin. “Where were you? Why’re you late?”

Maria just smiles bashfully as she starts to unpack her camera bag. “I’m getting some real Deja Vu from last year when you and Thomas got together, except now I’m in your shoes.”

You laugh, watching her as she blushes slightly and pauses her actions. “So, I’m guessing that you were with Ellie?” Maria nods, causing you to grin wider. “Are you guys official yet?”

You wait in anticipation as you stare at Maria who purses her lips before she looks away for a second. “I don’t know.” She mumbles.

“What?” You ask, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. 

“I don’t know.” Maria repeats, looking back at you, shrugging her shoulders. 

“What do you mean you don’t know, Maria?”

“I mean, she kissed me… and then we got interrupted by something, and then we didn’t really talk about labeling ourselves or anything, but she said to meet her after the game, so… I don’t know.”

You think for a second. “Well, if she wants you to meet her after the game, that means she wants to talk to you, right? So, just ask her then.”

“Ask her what?”

“Are you serious?” You give her a pointed look, a small grin pulling at your lips. “Ask her to be your girlfriend, dummy. That’s what you want, right?”

Maria busies herself by cleaning the lens of her camera with a rag. “I just… don’t wanna mess this up, Y/N. That’s why I get so nervous around her. All my past relationships have been shitty and… I don’t want her to turn into another one. You get what I mean?”

You nod in understanding. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that, but hey,” you put a hand on her arm, causing her to look at you. “She’s different, though. You’ve said it before, and I can see it. I have a good feeling about this one… and I’m sure you do, too. I say go for it, M. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. You deserve to be happy.”

You pause for a second before you ramble on. “Not that being in a relationship solely constitutes happiness, but… you know what I mean.”

Maria just smiles and looks down for a second before she puts her camera down and hugs you tightly. “Thanks, Y/N. Really, it means a lot.” She mumbles against your shoulder and you squeeze her back just as tightly.

“Any time, M. It’s what I’m here for.” You say softly, rubbing her back. “You give me advice all the time, now it’s my turn. It’s a two-way street. We gotta support each other.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Maria sighs when she pulls back from the hug. “Okay, I’m gonna ask her. After the game. If you’re cool with waiting around a little bit, I know I’m your ride home, so—”

You dismiss her worries with a wave of your hand. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get T to drive me. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Yeah, but tonight was supposed to be Girls’ Night…”

“Don’t worry about it, Maria.” You stress with a smile. “We’ll reschedule. Promise. When the game ends, you go get your girl. Win or lose… no matter what, okay?”

Maria nods and takes in a deep breath.

“Okay. Promise.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Thomas was right earlier. Easton High School’s football team is not a great team. The game is a complete blowout with your home team beating their opponent 38-7 at halftime. You can tell that the other team is salty from some things you can hear them yelling on the opposite side of the field, but they really have no grounds to talk because of the fact that they’re getting beat so badly by Thomas’ team.

You were also right earlier. Thomas has been having a phenomenal game. It’s one of the best games you’ve seen him play thus far — he has three touchdowns and it’s only the beginning of the third quarter. 

Although Easton has the ball currently as they try to score, Thomas, Aaron, James, and the rest of his teammates standing on the sideline don’t seem fazed or worried at all. They’re all goofing around by laughing and making jokes with each other. At some point, Thomas even goes over to his position coach to ask for some Skittles and he gives him a handful.

You don’t even raise an eyebrow when you spot him with a handful of candy during games anymore. You’ve noticed him, James, and Aaron with them throughout the season and you have no desire to ask anymore.

It isn’t long before the Panthers’ defense stops Easton’s drive with an interception, allowing the ball to go back to the Panthers offense’s possession. You watch as Thomas scrambles to get on the field with his teammates after finishing the last of his candy. He’s lucky that his coach doesn’t see him chewing when he puts his helmet back on.

There’s still plenty of game left, and it looks like Coach Washington isn’t planning on backing down his offense just yet when he yells at them to score. He doesn’t plan on showing any mercy to the visiting team.

Thomas is on the side of the field closest to you, but he doesn’t notice because his focus is locked into the game now. You can hear him jawing off with his defender as they both line up at the line of scrimmage. If Thomas Jefferson is known for one thing on the field, it’s trash talking — especially if someone on the opposing team initiates it.

Jefferson keeps his composure as he riles his opponent up, enough for you to notice that the other guy is heated.

The ball is snapped, starting play and Thomas sprints ahead of his defender. The quarterback throws the ball in his direction and Thomas jumps up to catch it when suddenly he is tackled by his opponent before his fingers can even graze the football. It’s a dirty play to say the least, and this causes the home side of the stadium to erupt in massive boos. 

You yell in disgust at the hit along with Maria who stands besides you, but luckily Thomas is up on his feet in no time and yelling in the face of his defender. James runs up to separate him so that he doesn’t get a personal foul.

The refs throw their flags and call a ‘pass interference’ penalty, which satisfies the home team and their fans. It’s not long before both teams go to the new line of scrimmage, which is much closer to the end zone now.

Play starts again and Thomas swiftly runs towards the end zone while faking out his defender once again. He’s able to catch the ball this time and sprints far ahead of the opponents of the other team. He slows down right before he gets to the end zone and tauntingly waves at the defender who tackled him in the previous play.

Next, everything feels like it’s slow motion. 

Right before Thomas crosses the goal line, two of the defenders from the other team dive to tackle him from behind and you can hear the impact of their bodies hitting him from your position on the sideline. One of the tacklers comes up short and lands on Thomas’ left ankle, causing it to buckle while Thomas falls down along with it in the end zone. 

The entire stadium erupt into cheers at the touchdown, unaware of the damage done to the star wide receiver. The defenders stand up and are pushed back by their teammates. Seconds pass by and gradually, the cheers start to die down as Thomas still lies face-down on the turf, his left hand weakly reaching towards his left ankle. 

He’s not getting up.

Your heart begins to beat rapidly in your chest as panic starts to rise. Oh… oh no.

“Come on, baby. Come on. Get up.” You whisper under your breath. “You’re okay, Tommy. Please get up.”

Slowly, Thomas is able to get himself on his hands and knees, but it’s not without him yelping in pain. Your heart breaks for him.

James sprints and is crouched on the ground by Thomas’ side in no time. He puts a comforting hand on his back and you can see him talking to him, asking him if he’s okay. After a few seconds, James turns towards the sideline and signals for a trainer to go to them. Thomas slowly turns over so that he lies on his back with help from James and you can see his body writhe in pain as he reaches for his lower left leg again.

There’s an eerie quiet that blankets the stadium now. You don’t like it. You hate how a place filled with sounds of happiness and joy could morph into a space almost completely stripped of sound period — filled with emptiness and despair instead at the drop of a dime.

Now all the players on the field take a knee for Thomas as he’s slowly helped up by his teammates and the team trainers. They lead him to a golf cart where he sits, clutching at his left ankle. His helmet is still on, and you can’t see his face through his visor, but you know that he’s hurting beneath the mask as he hangs his head.

One of the defenders who tackled him has his helmet off now as he goes to apologize to Thomas. The guilt and regret is evident in his face that he caused something so detrimental to happen to a fellow athlete — because that’s all they are at the end of the day: athletes. They all play the same sport; ultimately, it doesn’t matter which team they play for. They’re all just doing what they love: playing football. And nobody deserves to have that be stripped away from them at the blink of an eye.

The forever silence is now broken as claps can be heard from everyone, showing sportsmanship and solidarity for Thomas and his injury as he’s driven off the field and towards the main building where the locker rooms are.

“Y/N…” Maria says softly next to you, and you finally notice that your hand has been placed over your mouth in shock for the past five minutes. “I’m so sorry.”

“I…” You start out, but your voice is wobbly. A single tear runs down your cheek and you wipe it away and sniffle as you try to stay strong. “What do I do?”

You have to stay strong for Thomas, but you feel helpless. You don’t know where to go, who to talk to. Are you allowed to go and see him in the locker room or do you wait until the game ends? Do you call his parents or will his coach take care of that? How bad is the injury? Is Thomas going to be okay?

You’re interrupted from your thoughts when the rest of the Panthers offense comes off the field. James stops when he reaches you.

“He needs you, Y/N.” He says, taking off his helmet. James looks just as worried as you feel. “It’s not looking good… and he’s gonna need someone to lean on. I know him, and with his parents gone in LA and the team still playing out the rest of the game… he shouldn’t be alone right now. He may act big and tough on the field in front of everyone, but you know how T is. He needs support.”

You nod slowly and sniffle before taking a deep breath. You look towards Maria and she nods at you, saying, “Go to him, Y/N.”

“Okay.” You whisper, looking between the two of them. “Okay.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Your mind races as you wait outside the trainer’s room where Thomas is getting treated by the team doctor. On your way inside, you went to the locker room to retrieve Thomas’ backpack per the request of one of the trainers standing in the hallway outside the medical room.

Despite it feeling like hours, it isn’t long before the team physician comes out of the room, causing you to perk up as you lean against the wall. The doctor whispers to the trainer and you pick up snippets of their conversation from your position next to the door.

“...has to go to the hospital for an x-ray… lots of swelling… unclear whether it’s fractured or a ruptured achilles.”

After they finish speaking, you ask if you can go in. They nod, and the doctor tells you that Thomas is being unresponsive to any questions that are being asked of him. The doctor asks you to break the news of a hospital visit being necessary tonight, and just like that you feel like you have a huge weight on your shoulders. But you don’t care because right now, you just want to see Thomas and make sure that he’s okay, so you just nod before you enter the room quickly with Thomas’ bag in your hands.

When you enter, you see Thomas on an exam table in a corner of the room. He’s just sitting there, both of his legs hanging off the table, his newly injured ankle out of his cleat and wrapped in ice to reduce the swelling. He still has his shoulder pads on and grass stains are evident on his dark uniform. He doesn’t notice you come in because his head is buried in his gloved hands.

You set his bag down, next to the door entrance and carefully make your way towards him. As you get closer, you can see his shoulders rise and fall with each shaky breath he takes. Gently, you place a hand on his arm, causing him to jump slightly.

“Hey, T. It’s okay, baby, it’s just me.” You say softly, tilting your head a little bit to make eye contact with him through his fingers. Slowly, he drops both of his hands to his lap, revealing his face to you. He looks like a ghost of his normal confident, cheery self. There are bags under his red eyes and you can tell that he is utterly exhausted.

But still, at the sight of you, Thomas’ lips twinge up into a sad smile (he doesn’t hide his distress as well as he thinks) as he reaches out to graze his fingers against your cheek. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” He says, half-heartedly. He’s happy to see you, he really is, but his tone is dampened by the pain he is feeling. “What’re you doin’ in here? You should be out cheerin’ and havin’ fun with everyone else.” His voice is quiet, and you wonder if it’s because he’s afraid it will break if he speaks any louder.

“T, if you think I come to these games to hang with the rest of the team, you’re wrong. I come for you because I… I wanna support you.” You say earnestly, searching both of his eyes with yours.

At your words, he sends you a half-smile that turns into a grimace when his ankle throbs again. Thomas pats the space next to him, signaling for you to sit. You do, and immediately you notice his fidgeting and trembling hands that lay in his lap, still gloved from the game.

“Let’s get these off, yeah?” You say quietly, carefully reaching for his palms to place them in your lap. Your fingers gingerly undo the strap to each of his gloves and you peel them off his hands one by one before you place them neatly next to you.

When you’re done, Thomas’ right hand gently grabs one of yours and wordlessly laces your fingers together. He presses a warm kiss to the back of your hand as a silent thank you. Silence stretches between you two for a little while as you just sit there, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles on the back of his hand.

“How’re you feeling?” You ask softly. You’re sure he has a million thoughts running through his mind, but you’re not sure how much more of this he can take before it finally sinks in and hits him.

“It hurts...” He says, releasing a shaky breath. You squeeze his hand in reassurance, letting him know your support wordlessly. While he’s been quiet since you’d walked into the room, your question unintentionally prompts Thomas to start pouring out his thoughts at rapid speed. 

“And… an— and I don’t know if it’s broken or not. Or if I’ll be able to play football this season, or ever again for that matter. I… I do think it’s broken, though. I’ve had sprains and they’ve never hurt like this.”

You can hear his breathing start to quicken as he continues to ramble.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. What if this ends my career, Y/N? I can’t end my high school career like this. All my plans for the future: gone. What about scholarships? I wanted to be in the NFL like my dad. How am I supposed to get drafted by the Giants if I can’t— if I can’t play college ball?” He shakes his head at the mention of his father as his voice darkens slightly. “And speaking of my dad, why aren’t my parents here when I fucking need them? I fucking do everything for them and they can’t be here when I actually need them? They went to a charity event in LA instead of my last regular season game when they knew a scout would be watching tonight. Oh my god, the scout. What if—”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay, T. Just breathe. You’re not alone in this.” You bring your other hand up to his cheek to turn his face towards you to make eye contact with him. You look at him firmly and tell him, “You’re going to be okay, babe. Let’s just take it one step at a time, one play at a time, just like Coach says, right?”

You vaguely remember Thomas telling you one night that Coach Washington lives by the ‘one play at a time’ code, which basically means taking things, in life and in football, one step at a time. 

Fortunately, you see Thomas visibly begin to calm down from your words. It’s heartbreaking to see him have a panic attack like this; all you want is for him to feel better, so you continue to talk, letting your voice soothe him.

“Let’s just stay positive and focus on the next step right now, babe. And right now, that next step is getting you to a hospital so that we can get that ankle x-rayed. Okay? We can do that, right?”

Thomas takes in deep breaths, his breathing slowly turning back to normal. After searching your eyes, he exhales heavily and drops his head before he squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Yeah, we can do that.” He murmurs, so soft you can barely hear it. He starts to shake his head before he speaks again. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I don’t want you seein’ me like this. I’m a fucking mess. And I know this isn’t how we planned today would go.”

“T, you’re allowed to have emotions. I don’t care if you’re a mess, I want to know that you’re okay. I’m your girlfriend. I’m here for you always. Not just when you win games.”

Thomas licks his lips and nods before he looks at you; his gaze is full of gratefulness and admiration, but the sorrow is still clearly evident. His mouth opens as if he’s going to say something, but hesitates and thinks better of it. Instead, he leans over to hug you closely against his side (as best as he can with his shoulder pads still on).

“Thank you, baby. You have no idea how much that means to me… how much you being here means to me.”

With the way Thomas has always treated you and the way he’s acting now, you feel like you do have an idea, though. He’s always shown you so much care and expressed how grateful he is through his actions every day. You know that you mean as much to him as he does to you… and that’s saying something.

You two stay like that for some time, but you know that you eventually have to pull away to follow the team physician’s orders and get him to the hospital. Slowly and gently, you pull back from his embrace and reach up to give Thomas a chaste kiss, it’s quick but reassuring at the same time.

“Okay, Tommy, let’s get these shoulder pads off you and get you to the hospital, yeah?”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Fractured.

That is the word that sticks out most amidst the countless thoughts that swirl around Thomas’ head.

The hospital visit was surprisingly quick — in and out, resulting in Thomas leaving with crutches and a magenta cast on his left ankle. 

His parents had called while he was in the waiting room with you and Danté, his trainer from the team (some adult supervision had to be involved even though you and Thomas are 18). His father had told him that they’d be on the first flight out of LAX and back home first thing tomorrow morning. Both of his parents are worried about him (his mother is more vocal about it than his father) especially after Thomas called them back up to tell them the results of his x-rays. 

While he had felt his anxiety ignite again and spread throughout his chest at the news of his fractured ankle, he’d stayed strong in front of his family, the doctor, his trainer, and you. He took the news like a champ on the outside, but on the inside, he kept feeling like he could barely keep it together.

That’s where he is now: sitting silently in the passenger seat of his Mustang, trying to keep his emotions in check as you drive him home from the hospital. It’s not the first time you’ve driven his car, and while he’d normally make a charming comment about you looking extremely attractive driving the Mustang, he stays quiet. The repetitions of the doctor’s words still ring in Thomas’ mind, hindering him from acting anything like his usual self… and he hates it. He hates the effect that one word has on him.

Fractured. Fractured. Fractured.

“As you can see, your fibula is fractured right here above the lateral malleolus. Luckily, the bone isn’t displaced, so we’re gonna treat this as a…” 

After hearing the word he’s dreaded most, Thomas zones out and gets lost in thought as he mindlessly watches the doctor point to various areas on the x-ray.

“...don’t think surgery will be necessary; however, we do believe a cast is imperative. This does mean that there will be no physical activity, of any sort, for at least six to eight weeks. Do I make myself clear?”

Thomas doesn’t respond, staring blankly at the man in the white coat in front of him.

“Did you hear what I said, Mr. Jefferson?” The doctor asks more sternly, and Thomas snaps out of it. He stares up at the physician, his eyes more alert. 

“Yeah, Doc.” He says halfheartedly. He sounds so drained of energy, so unlike his usual self. “Loud and clear.”

Everything the doctor had told him at the hospital hadn’t exactly been a surprise; in fact, it’s exactly what Thomas had predicted. His ankle is broken and he won’t be able to play football for six to eight weeks… and that terrifies him. 

His high school football career is officially over… and he won’t get to finish out the playoff season with his teammates.

The silence in the car stretches on and when you get to the familiar road that leads to Thomas’ house, you sneak a glance over at him. He’s staring out the window and you are aware of the fact that he hasn’t spoken since he was released from the hospital. You can only imagine the whirlwind of thoughts going through his mind right now and your heart once again breaks for him.

You take your right hand off the steering wheel to gently lace your fingers with his, giving him a comforting squeeze to signify your reassurance. He squeezes back weakly, giving you a good indication at where he is mentally. You don’t want to poke or prod him, so you allow the silence to linger in the space between you two until you finally reach his home.

Once you pull into his garage and close it behind you, you go to release Thomas’ hand and get out of the car, but he tightens his hold on your fingers, preventing you from going anywhere. 

“T, babe, you gotta let me go so I can grab your stuff.” You say gently, letting the driver's side door fall shut after having already opened it. He’s still blankly staring out the side window when you turn to him. Thomas reluctantly lets go of your hand and you take that as an okay for you to get out. 

You walk over to the passenger's side of the car to grab his crutches out of the back seat. With his crutches in your grasp, you go to open his door. He quickly wipes at his left eye before he slowly turns his body and swings his legs so that he faces your direction. His magenta wrapped ankle rests carefully against the concrete floor of the garage. Thomas eventually looks up at you, revealing his red eyes and tear-filled gaze.

“Hey…” You murmur, jumping to quickly take action, seeing Thomas clearly in a state of distress. You lean the crutches against the side of the Mustang before you move to caress his cheek. 

Thomas just looks down and wipes at his eyes before clearing his throat. “I’m fine.” He croaks, his voice breaking and wavering as he sucks in a shaky deep breath.

He moves to stand up, but your hands go to press down firmly on his shoulders. Thomas doesn’t seem to protest or resist against your touch as he stays seated with his feet still planted on the concrete. You shake your head at him as you try to catch his teary gaze.

“You’re clearly not fine, T.” You voice softly as you step into the open space between his legs. You bring your hands up to hold his face gently. “Look, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but please, Tommy, don’t…” You pause, searching for the right words, “don’t hold it all in. You don’t need to be a big tough guy in front of me. I know you.” 

A single tear rolls down his cheek as his resolve starts to slowly break. You tenderly wipe it away with your thumb as you gaze into his watering eyes. 

“It’s okay to cry, babe.”

And then, the last of his walls come tumbling down. Thomas lets his tears fall freely now as his face contorts into a sob. Your eyebrows furrow in concern as his composure crumples. You pull him to you as he ducks his head to bury his face in the material of your sweater.

It’s the first time you’ve seen Thomas cry and all you want to do is be there for him and comfort him to make him feel better — to make all his pain disappear.

You just stand there, one hand holding his head to you and the other rubbing comforting circles on his back to soothe him. You can feel his body shake with each sob as you try your best to console him and work him through it, occasionally murmuring reassuring words to him.

It pains you to see him like this. All you can do is embrace him and let the torrent of his tears soak through your sweater. You could feel him clutch at the fabric from the back of your sweater as he hugs you tightly to him, like he’s grasping at the only thing — the only person — keeping him above water at the moment. He holds onto you because you’re the one saving him from sinking into the depths of his negative thoughts and anxiety.

Thomas clenches his fists again and again, not knowing whether to be angry (at his parents, at the guy who tackled him, at himself) or to give up all hope. You can hear his irregular breathing as he whimpers against you. Gently, you run your hand over his curls, time and time again, in an attempt to calm the silent war within his mind. 

You stay like that for a while, soothing him as he lets out all of his pent up emotions. Over time, he gradually calms down, his breathing slowly returning back to a normal rhythm. Only the sounds of your and Thomas’ breathing can be heard as a tranquil quiet blankets the room.

Eventually, Thomas finally pulls back from you, eyes closed and he takes in a deep breath. It’s still slightly shaky, but he’s much better than the state he was in before.

You use your sleeve to gingerly wipe up the leftover tears that had wet his face. When you're done, both of your hands cup his cheeks as his eyes flutter back open. You send him a soft smile when you catch his gaze.

“There he is.” You whisper, letting your thumbs lightly caress his skin. “Hi, babe.”

He purses his lips before he responds, noticing the huge wet stain on the front of your sweater. “Shit, sweetheart. Sorry for fucking up your shirt.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, T. Just means that I can steal another one of your hoodies.” 

That causes Thomas to crack a watery grin, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in hours. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long because his expression returns to a serious one in a matter of just a few seconds.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He murmurs before sniffing; his gratefulness is evident in his gaze, but it’s accompanied by a hint of fatigue as well. “Really. Thank you so much, baby. For being here. Supporting me. I… I needed that.”

“Of course, I’m here, T. I’ll always be here, okay?” You say, watching him slowly nod. After a few moments you speak again. “How’re you feeling? Better?”

He shrugs, looking up at you tiredly. “A little. I still feel like shit, but at least I don’t feel like I’m about to explode.” 

“Yeah, please don’t hold your feelings in like that, anymore. I really don’t wanna see my boyfriend explode because he’s ‘too manly to cry.’” You drop your hands from his face to form air quotes on the tail end of your sentence.

“Noted.” He breathes out a small laugh. Warmth blossoms in your chest as you watch him slowly turn back into his normal self. “Also, I feel gross and I’m in desperate need of a shower, so that’s not helping my mood right now, either.”

You grin at him. “Well, that can definitely be arranged once we get you outta this car.”

The small smile returns on Thomas’ face as you open the car door a little further, so that it’s open as wide as it can go. “That’s usually my job.” He says, causing you to raise an eyebrow as you grab ahold of his crutches once again.

“What?” You ask, watching Thomas rise as he slowly gets out of his car.

He grunts as he balances on his right foot and you hand him his crutches. When he situates himself and regains balance, he responds, nodding at the car door. “You opened the door for me earlier. That’s supposed to be my job, princess.”

You grin and roll your eyes, shutting the car door behind him as he moves forward towards the door to his house. “Yeah, well now it’s my turn to return the favor and treat you like a prince… especially given the current situation.”

You grab his backpack from the trunk of the Mustang as Thomas throws the door to his home open.

“Oh, you already do, darling.” He says over his shoulder before you follow him in.

When you get inside the house, you leave his bag by the door at Thomas’ request and drop his keys on the counter in the kitchen. Before Thomas goes to shower, he joins you in the kitchen and heats up (he insists on being the one to do it because he’s ‘not completely helpless’) some leftover macaroni in the microwave for you both as a late dinner. He’s starving after having played a game and gone through as much emotional and physical trauma as he did.

Halfway through your meal, you feel your phone vibrate repeatedly in your pocket. You realize you’ve forgotten about it for hours, having been worrying constantly about your boyfriend’s mental and physical health. You dig your phone out of your jeans to see your brother Erik calling you.

You glance over at Thomas who is nose deep in his dinner before you accept the call.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, finally, Jesus. Where are you? Why weren’t you responding to my texts?”

“I’ve been busy, tonight’s been a crazy night, okay?” You glance over at Thomas who’s now looking up at you from his food with an eyebrow raised. You mouth ‘Erik’ and he nods, returning to eat. “Thomas got injured at the game today. It was bad. Had to drive him to the hospital and everything.”

“Shit, man.” Erik says on the other line, sounding worried. He and Thomas had surprisingly gotten along well with each other since you two started dating. They play Madden with each other occasionally when Erik’s back in town, so you know they’ve created some sort of friendship/brotherly bond. “Are you still there? At the hospital?”

“No, we’re at his place now. Just got here. Eating dinner.” You say before you glance at Thomas who’s staring down at his food now. There’s no way you’re leaving him alone here overnight. “Listen, E, can you please do me a huge favor and cover for me? Just tell Mom and Dad I’m staying at Maria’s for the night. I can’t just leave T alone in an empty house when he just broke his ankle.”

“Broken ankle — Jesus, that’s rough.” Erik is quick to respond. “But, yeah, sis, I got you. You’ve covered for me plenty of times.”

You let out a sigh of relief, happy that you’ll have your parents off your back now. “Thanks, Erik.”

“So, how’s Thomas taking the news? Is he good to talk?”

You pull the phone away from your ear to ask Thomas if he wants to speak to your brother on the phone. You say Erik’s worried about him and he nods. You hand the phone to him and watch him as he holds it up to his ear.

“Yo, what’s up, E?” Thomas greets; his voice sounds tired, but he sounds more like himself now. “I’ve been better. Hanging in there, I guess.”

You continue to eat the rest of your dinner as Thomas and Erik talk.

“Yeah, fractured actually. Doc said a bunch of scientific stuff, but I wasn’t really listening. I just know that I can’t finish out the season.” Thomas is quiet, staring down at the kitchen counter until he chuckles at something Erik says. “Yeah, there’ll always be Madden, bro. Just bummed because I wanna be on the cover one day and I can’t do that when I’m injured and at risk of losing scholarship opportunities.”

He listens to Erik’s words before he looks over at you, a small smile pulls at the corner of his lips. “Yeah, I know. She’s been with me all night since it happened. Honestly, I don’t know what’d I’d be doing right now without her. You’re sister’s a real one, bro. Y/N’s a life saver.”

You smile at him sweetly as he watches you with a soft glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, no, you won’t have to worry about that, trust me.” He breathes out a short laugh. “Alright, bro, I’ll catch you later.” He’s quiet for a few seconds as Erik responds. “I will. You, too. Alright, bye.”

Thomas hangs up and hands the phone back to you.

“You guys good?” You ask, putting your phone back in your pocket.

Thomas nods, finishing up the last of his dinner. “We’re good. Erik’s a good dude.”

“You sure, bro?” You tease, a grin tugging at your lips. “Why do you say ‘bro’ every other sentence when you’re talking to my bro, bro?” 

By now, you know that Thomas code switches when he talks to his friends versus when he’s with you, but you can’t help but try to cheer him up by poking fun at him.

“Leave me alone, bro. That’s just the way I talk to all the bros, you wouldn’t understand.” He rolls eyes, a hint of a grin showing up on his face.

You laugh, shaking your head. You pick up your and Thomas’ plates and walk them over to the sink. “Just messin’ around, T. Givin’ you a hard time.” 

“Yeah, bro, give the injured guy a hard time, because that’s a good idea.” Thomas deadpans. As put off as Thomas tries to act, he can’t stay pretend mad at you for long. After all, your attempt at lifting his mood and pushing him back towards his normal self is working.

“Okay, alright, lesson learned. Don’t make me feel guilty.” You voice before you walk back over to Thomas, chuckling in the process. “And stop calling me ‘bro.’ I like ‘sweetheart’ more.”

You send him a smile before you give him a quick peck on the lips.

“Alright. Noted, sweetheart.” Thomas murmurs with a lazy grin when you pull back.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Thomas doesn’t shower without making an offhand joke about you joining him. This time, he blames it on the fact that he’s ‘damaged goods’ and needs help undressing and that you’re really talented at that.

And although you roll your eyes and shove a trash bag at him so that he can cover his cast, you’re genuinely happy to see him bantering with you and joking around like he does normally. You know this injury is going to impact him immensely in the long run, both physically and mentally, but seeing him smile and joke around after pouring his heart out to you earlier in the garage really makes you extremely proud that he is holding his head high.

When you make sure that Thomas is all set to shower, you tell him to yell if he is actually in genuine need of your help. He says that he’ll be fine.

You make your way back to his room and get yourself comfortable. Although the tear stains on your sweater are now dry, you still go to Thomas’ closet to pick out one of his hoodies to sleep in. You also slip on some pajama shorts you’d left there from the last time you stayed over. It’s not your first time spending the night at Thomas’; the night of homecoming was… a lot of fun to say the least. And Thomas makes it a habit to sneak you into his room almost weekly, so you’ve resorted to leaving an extra change of clothes in his room just in case.

Finally comfortable in your new change of clothes, you fall back onto Thomas’ bed with a tired sigh before you grab your phone to check your messages. You see that you have a bunch of unread texts from Erik, Maria, and James.

Dismissing the texts from Erik because you just talked to him on the phone, you open the texts from James. He tells you that the Panthers won the game and that he and the rest of the team are worried about T. He also asks how Thomas is doing because he’s not answering his texts.

You respond, telling him about the fracture and that Thomas is taking it hard, but he’s staying strong and doing better now.

Then, you open the texts from Maria.

Maria (8:35pm): Hey, hope T’s doing okay

Maria (8:36pm): Hope YOU’RE okay too

Maria (9:07pm): Game’s over. Gonna go do the thing we talked about bc I made a promise, wish me luck

Y/N (11:13pm): hey, sorry M. haven’t really been checking my phone all night. T’s okay. broken ankle and he’s really bummed, but he’ll be okay. i’m doing okay too. being with T and seeing that he’s gonna be ok makes me worry a bit less

Y/N (11:13pm): but how’d the thing go?? please tell me it went well. u and ellie would b so cute together

Maria (11:15pm): No worries luv. Glad you and thomas are alright. Whole team was pretty shaken on the sideline after yall left. it was mad quiet even tho we were winning. And ellie was worried too.

Maria (11:16pm): Speaking of… the thing went well and I have a girlfriend now. Her name is ellie.

Y/N (11:16pm): omg congrats! beyond happy for u guys.

Y/N (11:16pm): T’s gonna be happy af lol when he finds out

Maria (11:18pm): Yeah now he can leave me tf alone about it every time he sees me

Y/N (11:19pm): lmao he was just tired of seeing yall circle around each other even tho u clearly had feelings for each other. i was too tbh

Y/N (11:19pm): but glad you guys are official now. you guys are ADORABLE together. i want all the details next time i see you, k?

Maria (11:20pm): I’ll give ALL the details on Monday lol. Promise.

Y/N (11:20pm): can’t wait 

You grin at your phone, genuinely happy for Maria and Ellie. Then, you hear the bathroom door open and Thomas’ crutches sound from down the hall, each sound getting louder as he nears the bedroom.

When Thomas gets to the doorway, you sit up, directing your gaze to him. “I’m guessing you didn’t need help showering after all?” You ask, giving him a once over. He’s wearing shorts and no shirt. Some water droplets still linger on the muscles of his biceps and toned torso, like he was lazy to fully dry himself with his towel.

“Guess not.” He says with a shrug, making his way over to the bed. He sits down on his side, making himself comfortable by laying down, sighing in content as he does so. “Would have definitely been more entertaining had you joined, though.”

“I’m sure it would have.” You muse with a grin, sitting up crossing your feet under you. You decide to tell Thomas the news Maria texted you. “So, Maria and Ellie are dating now.”

Thomas smiles as he laces his fingers behind his head as he relaxes back on his pillow. “Yeah? ‘Bout time.”

“Yep. Also, James texted me. He said that y’all won the game and that he and the team wish you well. He wants you to text him back.”

“Eh, I’ll text him back tomorrow morning. I’m too exhausted right now.” He says, closing his eyes for a second. “But thanks for relaying the message, baby. Glad we won.”

You nod at him before moving off the bed to close his door and turn off the lights. When you get back in bed, Thomas speaks again.

“You know? On the phone, Erik said ‘no funny business,’ but honestly? Not like we haven’t done anythin’ in this bed already…”

Your jaw drops at his suggestive words and although they’re true, you push his shoulder lightly anyway. “Thomas!”

He chuckles softly, looking at you as you slip under the blankets with him. “It’s the truth.”

“I know but doesn’t mean you should say it like that.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. You can tell he’s still hurting deep inside. Thomas being alone with his thoughts in the shower must have gotten to him. You shift closer to him and he rests his head on your chest as you gently thread your fingers into his hair to massage his scalp.

“Are you okay?” You ask softly as you feel him rise and fall with every breath.

It’s an honest question that you’ve been wanting to know the answer to all night. His breathing is even and calm as he ponders his next words. 

“You want the truth?” Thomas asks after a minute of silence. 

“Always, T.”

Thomas wedges his arms under you to wrap them around your torso. He’s quiet for a few more seconds until he speaks again, his voice small. 

“I’m scared, baby.”

You think about your next words carefully before you speak. “I think that’s normal, T. It’s okay to be scared.”

“Do you know how many careers end after an injury like mine?” He asks quietly, the vibrations of his voice reverberating on your chest. “I mean, I know the doc said I’d be better in six to eight weeks, but… who knows if I’ll be the same player? If I’ll be good enough again.”

“You will be.”

“What about college offers? What if no team wants me because of this fracture? Then, I won’t be able to market myself enough to go pro like my dad and I... I don’t think I could live with that, Y/N.”

“Hey, remember what I said in the locker room? One step at a time, baby. The NFL is a long way in the future, okay? Right now? Focus on healing yourself. Offers will come, but give them time. It’s still the beginning of the school year; you have time. You’re gonna get through this and you’re gonna be playing football again in no time. It’s probably gonna be a little difficult, but I know you can do it.”

You pull back to hold his face gently and look into his eyes which hold confliction within them once more. You can see the fear in them, the worry, and the flurry of emotions that he’s going through every second.

“You know why, T?” When Thomas shakes his head slightly, you continue. “Because you are Thomas Jefferson: the strongest guy I know. And I know that you won’t let anything get in the way of you achieving your goals.”

Silence stretches in the air for a few moments as your words sink in.

“And, T?” You start again before you give him a gaze that lets him know that you are absolutely sure of the next words you’re about to say. “Just know that I’ll be proud of you no matter what. I’m already proud of you and the person you are.”

He purses his lips, holding himself together as he closes his eyes and leans forward to press his forehead to yours tenderly. His grip around your waist shakes slightly as he holds you tightly to him, as if he’s afraid you’ll let go.

Thomas cherishes moments like these with you — the fleeting moments where being with you gives him a sense of calm and peace. It’s night and day compared to the chaos he has to endure during practices and games with yelling coaches, teammates, and fans. 

He loves football, though — he truly does. It’s been a constant in his life since the day he was brought into the world. Football has always been like his third parent; it’s taught him discipline, perseverance, and the importance of teamwork/family. Most of his crowning achievements thus far have been attributed to football and it’s something that he wants to stay in his life for the long-term future. Despite the fact that the sport has put him through more physical and mental pain than anything else, he’s still found a place for it in his heart.

But with you… with you Thomas has come to discover a different type of love. One that’s unconditional, unbreaking, and unforgiving. It’s the type of love that has him watching you with admiration at the most random moments. A certain kind of love that has him leaving home earlier in the mornings to pick you up from your house on his way to school just so he can spend a few extra minutes with you. It’s a love where he has completely, willingly given you his heart to do with as you please without him even really noticing. 

So when you show Thomas your unconditional support by telling him that you believe in him, he cherishes that more than he would any compliment from a coach or recruiter.

As he sits here, with your hands in his hair and his forehead pressed against yours, feeling the warmest and most comfort he’s ever felt (despite the fact that he’s injured) — three little words pop up in his mind for what seems like the millionth time today amidst all the bad things he went through.

Not wanting to succumb to the stereotypes of teenage relationships where those three little words are thrown around like nothing, you and Thomas had elected early in your relationship that neither of you would say it until one is absolutely sure of it. Right now, Thomas has never been more sure of anything in his life. That’s when those three little words finally make their way to the tip of his tongue. And before he knows it, those words come tumbling out as a soft, breathless whisper.

“I love you.” He says, his eyes fluttering open so that he can firmly hold your gaze to let you know that he genuinely means it.

Thomas brings his slightly shaking hands up to gently press them against your cheeks so he can hold your face. He pulls back slightly and his eyes search yours. His voice is the most confident it’s been all night, but he doesn’t let it get louder than a murmur. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t have to say anything, actually. I just want you to know that—”

“I love you, too, Thomas.” You whisper, cutting him off. “If it wasn’t obvious from my little speech before.”

Your words cause both you and Thomas to breathe out a quiet laugh as you hold one another. After a few moments, he leans in to press his warm lips to yours in a soft kiss.

When he pulls away, he hugs you close to him and the sound of each of your deep breaths soothe each other as you both edge closer towards sleep. This is the most tranquil Thomas has felt in a long time and he embraces the feeling fully. He doesn’t think about anything else for once. Just you and your presence and the sound of your even breathing.

It’s not long before both of you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

[adiwriting]

Sunday Mornings 6/?

Notes: Because I feel like these two fluff muffins would playfully bicker about whose more romantic, but they certainly would be competitive with other couples... Shout out to @cosmicclownboy​ for the inspiration. 

Week 6: 

If Michael is being honest, he wasn’t sold on the idea at first. When Alex had woken him up at 5am, telling him to grab his shoes and meet him at the car, Michael hadn’t been thrilled. After all, 5am is incredibly early for his day off and he’d been really looking forward to sleeping in. But now that they have arrived, Michael has to admit, he’s coming around. 

After all, being driven out to the middle of the desert, to the same spot that they used to come to when they were kids, just to watch the sunrise together? It’s a pretty smooth move. A move made even more romantic when Alex reveals that he’s packed breakfast for the two of them. 

Michael pulls down the tailgate as Alex grabs a blanket to spread out over the bed of the truck. Just like old times. 

“You know, you don’t have to work so hard to get laid,” he teases as he helps Alex climb into the back. He’s careful to send him a wink though to let him know that he very much appreciates the effort. 

“You’re welcome.” His smile is big and unguarded. It has Michael rocking back on his heels. 

Fuck. He’s seriously the most attractive person in the entire world. Looking at him when he’s like this always catches Michael’s breath. He still doesn’t understand how he’s finally being allowed this after all the shit he’s done, but he’s not going to fight it. 

Michael shakes his head clear and crawls up after him. Alex is already lounging attractively, arms open, inviting Michael to join him. He wastes no time snuggling up beside him. They lay there like that, Michael with his head on Alex’s shoulder, staring up at the few remaining stars they can still see as the sky turns a light blue. Sunrise is nearing. 

“Did I miss an anniversary or something?” Michael asks after several minutes. 

“Can’t I just want to do something romantic for my boyfriend?” Alex asks. 

Michael rolls onto his stomach and puts his arms on Alex’s chest before resting his head against them. “You can. I was just curious what inspired this?” 

“It’s nothing,” Alex says in a way that means it’s most certainly something. Michael stares at him until he continues. “It’s just something stupid Rameriz said to me the other day.” 

“Rameriz? That douchey sergeant who works the gate?” 

Alex nods. 

“What the fuck did he have to say?” Michael asks, silently thinking that whatever it was, he probably still owes him a beer for getting Alex to plan all of this. 

“He was talking to the guys, trying to get advice for this romantic anniversary he’s planning, and then made a joke that I didn’t have to worry about that stuff because I’m dating a guy,” Alex said. “I don’t know, it’s stupid. But it annoyed me.” 

Michael sits up. “What because we’re two dudes, we can’t be romantic?” 

Alex sits up to join him. “Apparently,” he says with a deep sigh. 

Alex rolls his eyes and Michael finds he’s just as annoyed. “Did you tell him that we’re like romance goals?” 

Alex snorts. “Romance goals?” He quirks his eyebrow at Michael, teasing him and damn, Michael just wants to tackle him and have his way with him… but that will have to wait. 

“I don’t know,” he says, ducking his head to hide a blush. “That’s what Isobel calls us.” 

“Good,” Alex replies, and Michael looks up to see him puffing out his chest a bit. “I’m glad somebody appreciates a decent love story.” 

“Decent?” Michael scoffs. “What happened to cosmic?” 

“I just… If I have to hear about Liz and Max and their stupid handprint story one more time, I’m going to scream,” Alex says.

Michael is about to agree, because he has noticed that Max has a tendency to talk about his relationship like it’s the end all and be all. As if he’s the only one that found his soulmate in high school and spent ten years pining… Then Alex’s words click. 

“Do you want a handprint?” he asks, seriously. 

“No,” Alex says instantly then pauses, actually thinking about it. The tension in his body relaxes and he reaches out for Michael’s hands. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that,” he says much softer this time. “If you ever decided that was something that you wanted to share with me, I would 100% welcome your handprint on me. Because there’s not a single part of you that I don’t welcome. What I meant was… I don’t need it. We fell in love without all of that. When Liz or Max tell me that story, I don’t get jealous, because I know and see all of you without any handprint. And I know you see me too.” 

Michael smiles at that. He feels the same way. He’s sure one day, he’ll try it with Alex just to see how it feels. But the truth is, he’s never done it with Alex because it always seemed like a crutch. Max used his handprint with Liz to show her how he felt about her because he couldn’t say the words. Most of his problems with Alex have stemmed from an inability to communicate, and if he wants this to work, he’s determined not to take any shortcuts. 

“You know, Max is always asking Isobel how to win back Liz,” Michael explains. “I’ll be sitting right there and he won’t even think to ask me about it, even though, between Iz and I, I’m clearly more likely to have advice on winning back your soulmate after you’ve messed up.” 

“That’s because everyone thinks all we do is fuck,” he says, dragging over the cooler he’d packed to start pulling food out. 

“I mean, we do fuck a lot… but that’s not all we do,” Michael argues. 

“Yeah, I don’t think they believe either of us can be romantic though,” he says. “They look at us and see a repressed airman and…” Alex waves his hand over Michael, searching for the right word to describe Michael. 

“Sex god?” Michael teases, earning him a shocked laugh. 

“I was gonna go with emotionally stunted cowboy with too much swagger, but that comment probably says enough.” Alex glares at him playfully.  

Over Alex’s shoulder, Michael catches the first glimpse of sunrise as the horizon lights up a bright orange. Michael nods towards it. “We gonna watch this thing?” 

Alex spins around on the spot to face the sunrise and Michael pulls Alex back against his chest and hugs him from behind, hooking his chin over his shoulder. 

“Anyone that thinks you can’t do romance, is an idiot,” Michael tells him, kissing the side of his neck as the sun slowly paints the sky vivid shades of red and orange, making Alex’s skin just glow. 

Alex smiles at him over his shoulder before turning back around, resting his head against Michael’s shoulder. 

“This may be more romantic than the first time you took me to look at the stars when we were kids.” Michael doesn’t need to see Alex’s face to know that he’s looking smug. 

“Mmmm,” he hums in agreement. He may find Alex’s confidence sexy as hell, but he certainly can’t allow it. Because this morning has been pretty impressive, but Michael has had some pretty smooth moments himself. 

“Well it’s more romantic than me taking you to see the stars, but less romantic than when I surprised you at the airport after your first tour,” he points out, playfully pinching Alex’s side, earning him a laugh. 

“I’ll take your airport surprise and raise you a love note slipped into your wallet before my second tour,” Alex says. 

And, yeah. That’s fair. It had taken Michael a few days to find it once Alex had left, but damn… It had been a hell of a note. Michael still has it in his wallet to this day. Those ten years hadn’t been great, but that doesn’t mean that they haven’t had some truly brilliant moments. 

“No no no. See, I bought an airstream so you could come home on leave and not have to see your father,” he argues, enjoying messing with Alex, mostly because Alex was always super competitive. “I win the romance game.” 

Alex scoffs. “You bought an airstream so you wouldn’t have to sleep in a truck.” 

“I bought an airstream so you wouldn’t have to sleep in my truck,” Michael says. 

Alex sits up and looks at him with narrowed eyes, trying to see if that’s the truth or not. Michael continues to smile at him, refusing to give anything away. Alex eventually huffs. 

“Let’s just agree that we’re both awesome,” he says, grabbing some of the fruit he’d packed before settling back in against Michael. 

“Is that Alex Manes for ‘fine you win?’” 

Alex laughs. “You’re a real jackass.” 

“Your jackass,” he says, stealing the strawberry from Alex’s hand and eating it himself. 

Alex huffs. “There’s literally more strawberries right next to you,” he complains. 

“It tastes better when it’s yours,” he says, repeating the same argument Alex always makes whenever he steals Michael’s coffee. Alex glares at him for a minute and Michael just smiles back sweetly until Alex’s face relaxes and he melts back into him. 

They sit there for several more minutes in silence as the sun seems to settle and the sky returns to a more natural blue, all traces of red and orange gone. Even then, Alex doesn’t move and Michael has no plans to make him. They eat their breakfast in comfortable silence, Michael stealing Alex’s food every so often and Alex randomly bringing their joined hands up to place kisses at the back of Michael’s hand. 

They have nowhere to be and no reason to rush. 

At some point Alex starts humming a song Michael doesn’t recognize, which probably means that it’s the secret song he’s been writing for the last week. The song that Michael isn’t allowed to ask about but will get to hear with everyone else at the next open mic night. 

If there is such a thing as a perfect moment, this is it. He suddenly feels the need to immortalize this morning, even though he really isn’t much of a ‘document the moment’ kind of guy. 

“Do you really wanna piss the heteros off?” Michael asks. 

“What?” Alex sounds resigned, but Michael knows him well enough to know that he’s already agreed without needing to hear whatever Michael is about to say, and he loves that about Alex. He reaches into his pocket and hands Alex his phone. 

Alex smiles at him in understanding, taking the phone from him. He types Michael’s password in and he opens up the camera app and holds it out in front of him, careful to include both of them in the frame as well as their picnic.

“Ready?” 

Michael nods and at the last second, as Alex is taking the photo, Michael kisses Alex’s cheek. 

And that’s how, twenty minutes later, they both end up updating their social media for the first time in over a year talking about love, surprises, and sunrise meals. #RelationshipGoals. 

Tagged: @callieramics​​

As always if anyone wants to be tagged, let me know!

[justlightlysedated]

monsters stuck in your head

for @vlamito, for being amazing always ❤❤

**

Michael's mom has told him stories about how humans are monsters.

How they hate and slaughter those who are different from what is considered the norm. How even their own children aren't safe. How they make laws to control the women of their species. How they put too much importance on the material and don't cultivate the bonds between people. How their military and its members were the worst of the Worst.

Living on a planet inhabited by humans wasn't a choice, but a necessity.

Michael had witnessed the atrocities that humans did to their own kind behind the screen of a television, wars for money and oil and the decimation of millions of acres of rainforests and the way they're killing their planet, slowly but surely, and refuse to listen to those who know better.

The Antarians kept to themselves, and they were human enough, normal enough that they weren't bothered.

Eccentric communities like the one they formed after their ship crashed and they found each other again, were not uncommon, and as long as they didn't bring any unwanted attention to themselves, they were left alone.

The problem was that Max fell in love with a human.

A human girl with long shiny black hair that is always catching the sunlight and big brown eyes and a red stained mouth with a bright white smile.

Max waxes enough poetic that Michael could write Liz his own love letter and say it's from Max.

Michael is supposed to prevent this from happening, but when both Isobel and Max want to leave, there really was no choice but to follow them and make sure they didn't get into any trouble that would cause the Commune any unwanted attention.

Michael follows them with his eyes getting more comfortable behind the wheel of his truck as they get out once he parks at the Drive In without even telling him when they'll be back.

Isobel goes straight to the refreshment stand where she leans forward and says something to the girl behind the counter (who looks too much like Liz to not be her sister) who gives Isobel an interesting look before she nods her head and Isobel grins and leans against the side of the booth so she's not blocking the customers.

Michael loses Max but finds him easily by looking for long glossy black hair. He finds Liz easily enough even though she's short, sitting on one of the picnic tables on the other side of the parking lot of the Drive In. Max is sitting down beside her already deep in conversation.

Michael becomes slightly disappointed when he doesn't spot the curly hair that belongs to Liz's friend Maria, she's fun to banter and flirt with and always has a story from the bar that makes Michael laugh.

She's the only human he's met who makes him think about maybe breaking the No Fraternizing with Humans Rule, but he doesn't think the amount of trouble they'll be in if they're found out will be worth it.

There's a loud tap on the window of the passenger side, and Michael looks over, annoyed because Isobel would've just gotten into the truck if she'd come back and freezes.

The guy leaning against his truck looks like he literally walked out of every wet dream Michael had from age twelve to fifteen.

From his big brown eyes lined in black to the inquisitive tilt of his eyebrows to the piercing hanging from his nose, like an arrow pointing to his mouth, stained black like he'd been wearing lipstick and it had gotten smudged off.

Michael feels a throb of want deep in his belly and inhales deeply, startled, thinking, fuck.

"Hey," he says as Michael tries to get his brain working properly and not stuck in his preteen fantasies.

"I know you're probably wanting to be alone, but I'll split this sixer with you if you let me watch from back there."

He lifts a six pack of beer that are so cold you can see the condensation, and motions with his chin towards the back of the truck.

Michael's eyes drop to his hands, long thin fingers covered in silver rings, wrist wrapped in black rubber bracelets, and his fingernails were painted glossy, black.

Michael could feel his mouth water.

He swallows hard and nods his head slowly.

A smile breaks out across that face and Michael feels like a shooting star is buzzing around his head, knocking things out of place, and dazzling him into stupidity.

"Thanks," he says. "I refuse to sit with the Lovebirds."

He points with his chin over in the general direction of the picnic tables and Michael glances over and spots Max and Liz making eyes at each other.

He realizes with a jolt that this must be Alex, but when Liz had said her other friend Alex couldn't make it because they were working, Michael had totally expected another girl.

Not the boy still leaning against the passenger side of his truck and raising an eyebrow when Michael looks away from Max and Liz.

He inclines his head towards the back of the truck and Michael scrambles to get out of the front seat.

He makes it to the back of the truck as Alex is opening up the tailgate and setting the pack of beers right in the middle of the space.

"I'm Alex," he says smiling and Michael's brain short circuits again, and he forgets his real name not to mention the human name he'd been also given at birth, and he has to stop himself from saying, I know or something else equally embarrassing.

Michael swallows and opens his mouth to respond when Alex pulls himself up on the open tailgate, the move making his tight black shirt expose a strip of the pale skin of his stomach.

Michael forgets his name all over again and blinks slowly when Alex just continues to watch him with an eyebrow raised.

Michael is usually way cooler and a whole lot smoother than this.

But that all seems to fly out the window everytime that Alex does something, like smile or move or speak or breathe.

"Michael," he blurts out, and then sits down hurriedly grabbing one of the beers and twisting it open.

Beer wouldn't really do anything to him in terms of actually making him not sober, but it did leave behind a pleasant buzz if he drank enough.

The movie starts soon enough, not leaving any time for the silence to get awkward and for Michael to blurt out something embarrassing.

Michael is halfway done with his beer when he realizes that they're watching one of those horrible evil aliens come to take over the world movies.

Michael swallows the rest of his beer as Alex makes a rude noise with his mouth as a human says something totally xenophobic.

When a fake alien head gets exploded, Michael grabs a next beer even though he can see that Alex isn't done with his first one, and leans back against the side of the truck to watch Alex instead of the movie.

He makes it through half of the beer in his hand before Alex's, bitch please expression startles him into laughter.

Alex looks over to him, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but he gives Michael a look.

"It's ridiculous," he starts and it sounds like a well worn argument. "If aliens were even amongst us, we wouldn't know. Humans have not been able to find a planet with life. I doubt aliens coming here wouldn't be advanced enough to hide from our satellites."

Michael drinks the rest of his beer so that he doesn't laugh, because Alex is right.

"What?" He asks as Michael lowers the bottle. "You think aliens wouldn't be smarter?"

"Oh I'm sure they would be," Michael drawls feeling a slight buzz. "Humans are dumb."

Instead of looking at him weird, Alex raises his beer in agreement and drinks the rest of it, reaching for the second one, and giving Michael a look when he realizes that Michael just finished his second.

Michael just gives him a smile and grabs his last beer. "You did say we were splitting it."

Alex just inclines his head in agreement and opens the second beer.

He goes to look back at the movie and Michael continues to watch him.

Alex drinks his second beer faster than the first, and when he grabs his third, Michael takes the cardboard case and tosses it towards the back of the truck, sliding over a bit closer.

He sees Alex freeze and dart a look at him out of the corner of his eye, before he seems to look at the screen even harder.

Michael doesn't know exactly why but he finds himself struggling with the urge to get closer, to touch Alex.

He never feels this desperate for contact, even when he's suffering through the high spikes of arousal that come with his mating cycle.

Alex makes an incredulous noise and looks at Michael freezing immediately when he realizes how close Michael is.

Michael blinks in surprise and inhales sharply and his mouth waters as Alex's scent floods his senses.

Smoke and wood and blackberries and something sharp and bitter that reminds Michael of nail polish remover.

Michael can't find the will to force himself to look away, and Alex unfreeze, inhaling sharply as his eyes drop from Michael's eyes to his mouth, really deliberate and obvious.

Michael feels another pulse of want deep in his belly, and he wonders if there was something other than alcohol in those beers.

"Can I kiss you?" Alex asks voice soft and trembling, eyes still not moving from Michael's mouth.

Michael's mouth feels like the Sahara and he can feel it in his bones that the water that will quench his thirst can be found in Alex's parted lips.

Alex starts moving back, eyes darting to Michael's and then away. He inhales as though he's about to say something else when Michael finally gets his brain motor functions working.

He swallows hard and moves in close, pressing his lips to Alex's before Alex can move too far.

Alex makes a soft, surprised noise against Michael's mouth before he moves, pushing against Michael and sliding his hands into Michael's hair, dragging his fingers through Michael's curls as though he was born with the Guide to Turn Michael On imbedded into his brain.

Michael's fragile hold on his self control snaps.

He reaches for Alex and tugs him in, fingers pressing into the back of his neck as he pulls until Alex is draping one of his long legs over Michael's lap and pulling himself in closer with his hold in Michael's hair.

Michael forgets where he is or why he's there.

All he knows is Alex, and his lips parting to Michael's as he opens up for him eagerly, moaning when Michael licks into his mouth, and his fingers wrapped around Michael's hair, tugging insistently and sending sparks of pleasure down Michael's spine, and his leg, heavy across Michael's lap, right against his rapidly hardening dick.

As Michael drags his hands down Alex's back, and Alex moans and kisses him back, wet and noisy and hot as fuck, he wonders if Alex will let him Michael push him down on the back of his truck and let him sit on his dick and ride him until the movie comes to an end.

Someone hits the back of Michael's head hard, and Michael jumps, biting down too hard on Alex's lip.

He pulls back hissing as Michael turns to glare at the only person who would do something like that.

Isobel is standing in front of him raising an eyebrow in judgement, as though her lips and the area around her mouth aren't stained red.

He looks back at Alex who is watching Isobel with wide eyes, blood welling from the small cut on his lip.

His eyes dart to Michael and Michael just rolls his eyes mouthing the word, sister since that's how he had been introduced to Liz, and Alex blinks rapidly a few times before he licks his lips and smiles at Michael, small and sweet.

"Give me a sec," Michael says deliberately looking at Alex's mouth for a long second letting him know that he's not done.

Alex's smile widens even as his cheeks go red and he ducks his head down shyly and then he points towards the concession stand with the side of his head.

"I'll go get us some snacks," he says before he leaves, lifting one hand to his face.

Michael finds himself wanting to do the same. To touch his lips and feel them, wet and swollen from Alex's mouth.

"Wow," Isobel says slow and mocking, snapping Michael out of his daze and reminding Michael that she's still standing there.

With Isobel there and Alex walking further away, the reality of the situation sobers him up a little bit.

What did he just do? And with a human.

Isobel is saying something along those lines since Michael has always been incredulous at best when it came to their involvement with humans.

Michael looks over to where Alex is standing in line at the concession stand and is looking back at him.

Alex licks his lips, and pulls the bottom one into his mouth. His eyes go half lidded as though he's remembering something good.

Michael licks his lips, tastes the blackberry of Alex's lipstick and thinks once again, fuck.

[jordanwinchesterimagines]

Dinner at Jody’s

Words: 1,923

AN: Here is Part Three of You Don’t Know What It Feels Like! I literally can not get my thoughts down fast enough. I was wanting you guy’s opinion on something, also. Since this is going to be (basically) a new Sam Series, would it be less confusing if I gave it it’s own series title? Anyway, this is a filler chapter, but I think that the conversations are important so here it is. As always, thank you for the likes and feedback. They are always appreciated and cherished. 

You Don’t Know What It Feels Like, Tell Her I Said, Goodbye 

The first thing that Sam did when he arrived at the cabin was clean. The place was covered in dust, grime, and old beer bottles. It didn’t look like anyone had stayed there since they had a few years ago, the evidence being the remains of Dean’s leg cast. It took a few days, but after a good amount of dusting, scrubbing and air freshener, Sam was finally able to sit and relax....which lasted for about 15 minutes. Not feeling ready to start looking for a hunt, Sam threw on a pair of sweats and his running shoes and went for a run. As he ran, he kept focused on his feet hitting the ground, the breaths he took, the trees he passed. Not once did he let his mind wander, he came out here to clear his mind, and he intended to do just that. It was not too hot outside, being early evening, but between his pace and distance he was covered in sweat by the time he made it back. He went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, drinking about half of its contents before twisting back on the lid and tossing it back in. He took his phone out of his pocket and saw that Dean had texted him... twice.

D: u make it ok?

D: Dude.

He sighed and unlocked his phone to replying.

 S: Chill, Dean.  It’s only been three days…

D: Well it couldn’t hurt u to let us know u got there.

S: I’m fine. Just settling in.

D: u should text (Y/N). Let her know.

S: Aren’t you guys, together?

D: just text her asshat

Sam sighed again. Dean was probably right. He was not going to be able to ignore or avoid you forever. He pulled up your contact in his phone and opened a new message.

S: Hey. I just wanted to let you know I was safe here in S.D. Gonna hang low for awhile.

Y: good to know

‘Great’ Sam thought, ‘she’s pissed’. It took him a few tries but he wrote an apology, knowing full well that it wasn’t going to be enough.

S: I know you’re pissed. I’m sorry about the other night. I can’t really explain what’s going on with me right now. But, you have to trust me. I need this. I need to be here.

Y: I’m still pissed.

Y: But, I get it.. I think. Just, don’t do anything stupid.

S: I won’t. Thanks.

Y: Keep in touch, okay?

S: Roger that.

Sam tossed his phone on the table and headed for the shower. How was he supposed to get over you? He made a good first move, coming to the cabin, but he was starting to realize that the ‘distance’ wasn’t going to do anything if he kept having to check in all the time. ‘Better than staying at the bunker’ he reasoned, stepping under the warm water. He stood there for a few minutes, letting the water trickle down his back.’I’ll have to figure something else out’ he thought, not knowing where to start. After what seemed like an hour, the water started to chill. Realizing he had just been standing there,  he washed quickly, before turning off the water. He dried his hair with his  towel and shook his head a few times  it a few times before wrapping the towel around his waist. He was on his way to the bedroom to get dressed when he heard his phone ring. Shuffling down the hall, Sam held the towel around his waist, cursing under his breath. ‘Over protecting…. annoying... Son of a …” He picked up his phone, and smiled, pleasantly surprised to find it wasn’t his brother.

“Hey Jody!”

“Sam Winchester. A little birdy told me that you were in my neck of the woods. Thought I would give you a call. You know, I’m a little offended you didn’t make your way over here….. “ Sam smiled at the teasing nature in her voice.

“Well I couldn’t look too desperate, now could I?” She laughed.

“Ah, the Winchester charm. So what are you and your charm doing tonight for dinner?”

“Ugh…” he opened a cabinet, not expecting much. He hadn't really shopped yet. “5 year old canned chili?”

“I seriously hope that was a joke.”

“I wish it was…” Sam replied, laughing.

“Well you’re not eating that crap. You’re coming over here. Steak and potatoes, what more could you ask for?” Sam thought about it for a moment. He had planned to get drunk, eat junk and pass out, but he wasn’t going to turn down Jody’s offer through. She was important to him... in a lot of ways. He owed it to her to go visit, despite how crappy he was feeling.  

“Sounds like I’ll be there.”

“Good! Bring your appetite.” Sam hung up and got dressed quickly, making sure to look somewhat presentable. He stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of wine, not wanting to show up empty handed. He hoped that what he picked tasted good. He wasn’t exactly a wine expert, but he figured the pricier the better. When he arrived at the house he was surprised to see Claire outside sitting on the tailgate of Jody’s truck. She jumped off as he pulled up and waited until he was parked to approach him. Sam grabbed the bottle of wine, and got out of the car, nodding to the young girl.

“Well, if it isn’t Big and Tall!” She said smirking, playfulness in her eyes.

“Hey Grumpy.” He quipped. She nodded to the wine.

“That for me?” Sam raised his eyebrows and huffed.

“Yeah… in about 3 years.”

“Good.” she replied, raising her eyebrow and taking the bottle. “It has time to age.” There was a brief pause before both of them began chuckling. “Don’t think too much of it, but I actually kind of missed you.” Nudging him, she motioned for the house where Jody and Alex stood at the door.

“Sam.” Jody embraced him at the doorway, squeezing him a little too tight. Sam allowed it, and hugged her back.

“Hey…” He smiled at Alex over Jody’s shoulder, which she returned before returning her attention back to her phone. Jody took her a step back, holding Sam at arm’s length, giving him a good look-over.

“Not trying to be rude, but you look like crap.”

“No offense taken.” he nodded to Claire. “Brought you some wine. You might want to grab it before you have an underage situation over there.” Jody smirked but gave the young girl a narrow look as she released Sam. She took the bottle and inspected it.

“Wow. Fancy stuff! You’re too good for me, Sam.”

…………

They made it through dinner with light conversation, Sam enjoying the stories of schools, and groundings. The bickering between the two girls, reminded him of he and his brother growing up. He was glad that he came, this was definitely better than sitting at the cabin by himself. He didn’t have this very often. Between hunting, looking for Amara, and doing research it was hard to find time to sit down to a home cooked meal, let alone be consistent with buying fresh groceries. He sighed in contentment as ate his last bite of steak.

“Well I made desert. Anyone interested?” A collection of nods and muffled ‘yeses’, came from the other three, who were taking their last bites of potatoes. Jody smiled and went into the kitchen, returning a second later with a fresh apple pie. “I know this is a ‘Dean dessert’, but I had a craving and it’s what came out of the oven.” A silence filled the room, the mention of Dean’s name seeming to cast a wave of awkwardness in the air that caused even Alex to look up from her phone. It was Claire who broke the silence, as she often did.

“Where are the lumberjack and lumber-lady anyway? Don’t you guys like, do everything together?” Jody shot her a deadly look as she distributed the pie amongst them.  

“Claire..”

“No!” Sam interrupted, “It’s okay. We normally do… but I needed a bit of a break.”

“From hunting or from them?” Claire questioned, determined to get a straight answer out of Sam.

“Ugh… mostly Dean, I guess.” He took a bite of pie, trying to sell his story, and nodded at the girls. “You know what living with a sibling is like.” Both girls turned their heads and glared at each other.

“Not siblings…” Alex said pointingly.

“Just go back to texting that douche of a boyfriend.” Claire chastised

“AANNNNDD, we’re one big happy family here in Sioux Falls” Jody chimed in.

“I rest my case” Sam argued, triumphantly. Jody studied Sam closely for a moment.

“Girls, why don’t you go work on some homework.”

“What? And miss out on the ‘grown up conversation’ you’re about to have?”

“Go.” Jody said, motioning her and Alex out of the dining room. They left with little fuss after that, and Jody began staking plates to take to the kitchen. “Give me a hand?” she asked. He nodded and began helping her. It was not long before they had cleared the table and they stood at the sink, Jody washing and Sam drying. “You want to talk about it?” she said, handing him a plate

“Talk about what?” he replied, nonchalantly, drying the dish and putting it on the rack.

“The real reason you left Dean and (Y/N) in Kansas.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jody. I needed to get away from ‘big brother’ for awhile. Do my own thing.” She nodded.

“Yeah that’s a bunch of bull.” He sighed and took another plate from her.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, I’m telling you the truth.”

“The truth?” Jodie dropped the plate she was washing in the sink and turned to Sam. “So you can look at me in the face and just pretend like this has nothing to do with the fact that you’re in love with her and she’s in love with him?” Sam blinked.

“What… how did… I don’t..”

“A mom see’s things Sam.” He took a deep breath and put down his towel, crossing his arms. He couldn’t look her in the eye, so he decided to focus on his shoes instead. “What happened?”

“They got together.”

“Shit. Sam, I’m so sorry” Sam shook his head.

“You want to know the best part?” He paused, and scratched his head a bit in frustration. “It’s all because of me...” Jodie frowned.

“I need some kind of explanation here.” Sam placed his hands on his hips, and began pacing back and forth.

“They got in some fight because Dean was a dumbass and She went off on him…” he shook his head “ rightfully so by the way” he added. “He couldn't figure out why in the hell she was yelling at him for going out on a dangerous hunt on his own. So I, being the good little brother that I am, let the cat out of the bag... I’m an idiot.” Jody shook her head and walked forward, framing his face with her hands.

“You are NOT an idiot. What you did…. You did it because you love both of them. You wanted them to be happy. You know what Sam? You are going to find someone, who appreciates you and loves you for everything you are”. She brought him into a hug and rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him. He sank into her touch, letting himself be vulnerable for a few moments.

“I couldn't stay there” he whispered, sounding utterly defeated.

“I know.” he squeezed her softly before pulling out of the embrace, blinking at the moisture in his eyes. “So what are you going to do now?” she asked. He shrugged.

“Find a few cases here and there. Try to get over it, I guess.”

“Well if you ever need a project, you could take Claire.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Claire?”

“Yeah. She’s been terrorizing the town, thinks there’s a bunch of monsters…” she shook her head. “Yeah not so much. Maybe you could show her the ropes a bit? On low profile cases, of course. She’s a long way from anything too serious.” Sam nodded, thankful for the change in conversation.

 “I might take her up on that. Might need a partner in crime someday.” he joked. Actually, the idea didn’t sound so bad to Sam. It would give him something to keep busy and give Claire the training that she needed to be safe on her own. For the first time since he left the bunker he had something to look forward to.

[terabitweb]

Original Post from Rapid7 Author: Bri Hand

Pen testers rely on a variety of methods to compromise their clients during penetration testing service engagements, but none are quite as fun as when they must don a disguise to blend in with their surroundings. So, in honor of Halloween, we thought we would celebrate by sharing a few of our Rapid7 pen testers’ costumed crusades. Did they trick employees into doing their bidding, or were they treated to proper security protocols? Read on to find out!

‘The Boy in Blue,” by Trevor O’Donnal

I’ll never forget the time we were penetrating a police department. We had finished our pillaging and left the building, but once we reached our rendezvous point, we realized our good friend Ross was missing. We tried to reach him on our two-way radios, to no avail.

As we started to panic, in walks Ross in full police uniform, including a police radio! He had to raid the clean laundry in the basement dressing room to get out of the building. We bowed before him because we weren’t worthy.

And yes, this was all in scope. The police chief had said, “Anything goes, short of killing or kidnapping someone.” He had a great laugh about it in the end.

‘Here Are Your Flowers,’ by Robert Stewart

I once did a physical social engineering engagement where I didn’t see a clear path into the customer’s office space. The receptionist was behind a locked door and used a remote speaker to talk to guests and let them in. All of the other doors into the office could only be accessed by a badge, and my attempt at cloning badges was unsuccessful. But I wasn’t giving up.

I did a ton of recon on the employees and after finding one woman on LinkedIn first, I tracked down her Facebook page using her name, location, and profile picture. Her Facebook page was public, which meant all of her personal details were available. I learned about her family, her habits, her hobbies, and her husband.

I devised a plan to show up as a flower delivery guy to surprise her with a dozen roses from her husband and a song to serenade her with in the office. I worked up my costume to appear like a delivery guy would, and got the receptionist to let me in. The employee was called from the back to the front desk, which was a bummer because I wanted to be at her desk, but I rolled with it. I gave her the flowers, sang, “You Are My Sunshine,” and finished with, “Love, Tony!”

Her response was a confused, “Tony? Who is Tony?!”

“Uh … I don’t know, that’s what the order said!” I replied, and promptly booked it out of there. As it turns out, the woman I found on Facebook was not actually the right person, despite the fact that they had the same name, lived in the same city, and looked very similar. Totally crazy.

Though I failed at getting into where I wanted to go, this is still one of my favorite engagements because of the way it ended.

‘Pizza Delivery!’ by Aaron Herndon

On a previous red team operation, we had recently completed our objectives remotely. Access to the network had been obtained, servers were compromised, and loot was exfiltrated. In the twelfth hour, our point of contact had an idea. He wanted us to infiltrate the physical security operations center (SOC) with either a plant or some type of attack. This operations center had its own entrance separate from the rest of the main facility entrances, making it possible to knock on the door and gain entry directly to the lobby attached to the SOC room.

Assuming the SOC facility would require badge and PIN access (which turned out to be correct) and that tailgating would not be feasible due to the center being a single room with a small number of employees who all knew each other, we decided to take a new approach: enter as the pizza man.

Using a uniform from a large pizza chain, we dressed the part. Then we ordered the SOC some lunch. The odd request was that we asked for an empty pizza box from the pizza chain, which they did provide. Inside this box was our laptop, equipped with a CrazyRadio PA device running the MouseJack firmware. On loop, the device would scan for vulnerable USB mice and keyboards to remotely inject keystrokes (a surprisingly common vulnerability due to the wide adoption of Logitech peripherals in the workplace). We configured our MouseJack payload to quickly open the run prompt, download a payload from the internet, and execute it, giving us remote access to the machine.

On the day of our attack, we approached with four pizza boxes and a bag with some two-liter bottles of soda. The top three boxes actually contained pizza, while the fourth housed our payload delivering machine. With our hands full, we banged our elbow against the door of the SOC room to get their attention. An intercom buzzed, and we were asked to identify ourselves. After saying we had a pizza delivery, the door quickly opened to reveal an excited employee.

We indicated that we weren’t sure who had ordered the pizza, but were told to come to this room for delivery. The SOC employee directed us into the room, allowing us to set the pizzas down. We spent a couple of minutes making small talk, letting our mousejacking attack go to work. Then, we mentioned that the bottom pizza was actually to be delivered to another individual at the company, and reclaimed our payload box, making a smooth exit.

Returning to our car, hearts racing from excitement, we quickly contacted one of the red team operators to see if the attack was successful. Sure enough, we had received a connection to our payload server and the attack launched. Unfortunately, the connection died four minutes into being used. Had they discovered our pizza Trojan horse? Did the employee shut their machine off to go indulge themselves in the food provided? We still do not know.

‘The Construction Worker,” by Leon Johnson

I was once part of a Red Team of three tasked with testing an energy company with three locations in three different cities. My assigned location was surrounded by an 8-foot barbed-wire fence to guard most of its service and Cat heavy equipment vehicles.

I started by driving by the site on the first day of testing, watching people arrive for work and leave to get an idea of what sort of activity this location had. I went to dinner, and when I came back around 9 p.m., I realized there was a business next door that allowed for cover after hours. I decided to jump the fence and walk around the property in the shadows as much as I could. My goal was to avoid getting picked up by any cameras and getting caught.

As I began checking the commercial vehicles for unlocked doors, I found that one had a laptop on the armrest inside. I got excited, as I was thinking of all the possibilities for what I could do with a laptop if I got my hands on it. The vehicle’s locked doors stumped me for a while until I realized the quarter window was unlocked. I was able to push it open, unlock the truck, jump in, and grab the laptop.

I sat there for about five minutes waiting to see if anyone had spotted me. When nothing happened, I tried to get into the laptop but struggled because I didn’t have any tools on me. I made a call to my point of contact and asked for permission to take the laptop, which was granted. I then slid it under the fence, jumped over to my rental car, and headed to my hotel. I worked on the laptop all night, getting past the login first with Kon-Boot and adding a local administrator user. Later, I mounted the hard drive with Kali, as the drive wasn’t encrypted. I pulled up the local admin hashes off the PC and set up some malware so that when the box was booted up, it would call back to me and give me access when it was on.

The next morning, I broke back in and returned the laptop before employees’ shifts started so no one would suspect anything. I got a local administrator shell, but it died before I could do anything with it. So, I had to go back the next day and do it again. Once more, I briefly got a shell I was unable to do anything with.

I decided to go to an office of theirs and attempt to see whether I could clone some RFID badges so I could use them to gain access to the facility without having to jump the fence every night. It turns out, the location I cloned badges from was a shared office, and I was unable to tell who or where the cloned badges I obtained came from. In the end, none of them worked at the location I had been given permission to test.

At this point, it was the second-to-last day of the assessment, and I didn’t have everything I wanted. So, I decided to do it again but just keep the laptop and use it to get into the corporate network. This time, I got into a truck and put on a uniform someone left inside. I used this uniform to walk around the property and gain access to more trucks. I figured if I were seen on camera, I would look like a legitimate employee just doing some maintenance or say that if I were somehow found and questioned.

I also knew the laptop would now be reported stolen in the morning, which meant I didn’t have much time to work with, since they could have had a way to shut off access to it. I started taking a forensic clone of the system and decided to take a shower while it was cloning. When I came out, I saw the mouse cursor was moving and closing things! It became a fight for the mouse and keyboard at this time, and I ended up just disconnecting the network connection. I eventually got on the corporate network and gained local admin access on some other systems, which led to domain admin access. With that, I was able to do whatever I wanted on their network and systems.

That was fun.

Interested in learning more about how Rapid7 pen testers conduct their assessments? Check out our 2019 Under the Hoodie report.

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Go to Source Author: Bri Hand This One Time on a Pen Test, Halloween Edition: An Ode to Our Favorite Pen Tester Disguises Original Post from Rapid7 Author: Bri Hand Pen testers rely on a variety of methods to compromise their clients during…