#this is a big issue in my city rn its so crazy

[muirneach]

its literally so insane that cyclists can get speeding tickets. girl we don’t even have speedometers (mostly)

[syubub]

PSA

I know I've been MIA (wow that's never happened before, said no one ever) but things got crazy. With the state of the world I'm sure you can understand why. I've been writing and re writing this for a whole week, trying to get my thoughts out nice and pretty but I can't. Take this as a rant or what ever but please listen.

I want to talk a little about black lives matter rn because its an issue that is 1. Really fucking important and 2. Near and dear to my heart.

Incase you've been living under a rock and have no clue what is happening in America, last week George Floyd, a black man, was murdered by police. This is not new, this is not shocking but its the last fucking straw. To see a man robbed of his life with zero remorse from the bastards that took it? Shit needed to stop so long ago. The system is broken and now because the people in America are finally waking up and speaking out, we have been threatened with what is essentially a step toward Martial Law. And the dipshit in charge of the country also shot flash bangs, tear gas and rubber bullets into a peaceful crowd, hit reporters, journalists, protesters and cameramen with batons and riot shields just so he could hold a Bible he's never held infront of a church he's never been to for a fucking photo op. I cannot explain the horror and hurt that I have in my heart. I've spent the last week glued to Twitter, to the news, saving videos, evidence, of police instigating violence on peaceful protesters. This is not to discredit or take away from the opportunists that take it as an excuse to loot or from the good police officers that took off their riot gear and marched and listened to what we've been saying for years. The media focuses on the looting despite that being "a few bad apples" and are painting all of the protesters as trouble makers, rioters and a spoiled bunch but when "a few bad apples" kill innocent people its only a few bad apples.

I am mixed. My dad is black and my mom is white. My brother and I are white passing if we try to be. Sometimes I am so fucking thankful that I can pass because honestly, that can be life or death but I am so fucking disgusted at myself for ever fucking thinking like that too. Knowing as a child there is a chance my dad could be murdered for being black either by police or by the fucking KKK. I'm not going to pretend that I fully understand what it's like to be targeted because being mixed, I don't struggle the same way black kids do, but being called a "house n*gg*r" isn't awesome.

Now I have to explain to my racist grandparents and family members that I'm so fucking disappointed and outraged that they could ever say the things they say, do the things they do when their daughter is married to a black man, when there grandchildren are half black. I have to tell grown ass adults that being a fucking racist is bad.

I wish I could be out protesting, helping and fucking screaming but I can't risk being out in a group of people so closely packed. My mom has a compromised immune system and if she get the virus she would most likely die from it within a week of showing symptoms so we need to be careful.

There is so much you can do. DONATE IF YOU HAVE THE FUNDS, RESEARCH, EDUCATE YOURSELVES ON THE HISTORY, CALL YOUR SENATORS, GOVERNORS, MAYORS OR ANY OFFICIAL AND LET THEM KNOW WE WANT CHANGE. USE YOUR PLATFORM. VOTE WHEN THE TIME COMES. DONT STOP WHEN THE "HYPE" DIES DOWN. DO IT UNTIL WE HAVE CHANGE. STAND IN SOLIDARITY.

If you are at a protest in a big city: stay safe, be kind, bring water, try not to wear anything with oils on your body incase of pepper spray or tear gas. Have goggles. Bring an umbrella. Wear cardboard under your clothes. Cover identifying marks,, Turn of location services incase they try to track you to arrest you later but DO NOT TURN ON AIRPLANE MODE. You need to be able to be reached and to reach others. If you want to be super safe, use an encrypted messaging app. expect the best but prepare for the worst just to be safe. Have the number of a local lawyer that can help bail you out if you get arrested on your body incase you lose your phone. Also research for yourself, hear other tips and seek advice from emts or watch videos to get basic first aid knowledge. Be informed.

For those of you in the kpop community. Send love to your fellow black fans and SPEAK UP. Spam the white lives matter hashing with fancams on Twitter. Use your platforms to give info. Uplift black voices and let them be heard. This is reality and kpop will still be here even if you take a break to inform your followers and speak up. This issue is a human issue because all lives will matter when black lives matter.

To ARMY: Let's do what we do best and unite. We are powerful and we can make change. We have the ability to come together and have our voices be heard so let's take that energy and put it into this movement. This is the message of BTS, to stand against injustice and fight for what is right. We don't need to hear it from their mouths because we fucking know. This isn't about what they have or have not done. This is about us and what we are going to do. And we will raise our voices for good because that is the message we carry and the people we are! You don't need to have your idols permission to be a good person.

Stay safe. Stay sane. Be good to yourself and others. DON'T STAND FOR INJUSTICE. NO JUSTICE NO PEACE.

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

Ghost: Tobias finally revealed himself! From MyRock n°57; March/April issue; a FR->EN translation.

Enjoy a 2 page exclusiv interview fully translated from french to english; 3 full-page pics by Amanda Demme and a bitter live report of Zénith de Paris ritual (under the cut at the end of the post)! Note that I’m not perfectly bilingual so any of you who have a better english lvl than me are free to correct any mistake I could have done!

Tobias, master of the Forge

(Translation Note: Yes, we are french and we like dumb puns. So yass, he leads this band, thx)

Few hours before his appearance at Zénith de Paris, Tobias Forge has opened his lodge’s door to us. Decontracted and unmasked, the autoproclamed Ghost’s spokesperson frankly discuss about the band news and about his sudden notoriety.

Interview by Thomas Mafrouche; photos by Amanda Demme.

“In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision.” Tobias Forge

The last time we saw you at Zénith de Paris it was for Slayer and Mastodon’s opening. Tonight, you are the headline and your show is full. You must feel very proud! Tobias Forge: Oh I’m fulfilled! It’s fantastic! I’m very happy with what is happening. Not for the success, but because it allows me to finally have the means to do shows of the scope I always wanted. I always wished Ghost to be big, that our concerts dazzle! There’s nothing which annoyed me more than when you look small on a stage. It’s the case during some opening, or festivals prestations, when we have to play during day time... Ghost isn’t a band built for small stages. It’s a full experience, the spectator must imperatively get what’s coming! But, it’s a monstrous organisation, with a lot of logistical problems to solve beforehand. The more people there are involved in this adventure, the more risks there are for the machine to derailed. But, well, it’s the challenge to achieve when you bring a choir of 40 nuns on stage (laugh). In the end, what matter is that the spectator enjoy it, that they spend a good and phenomenous evening with us.

It is said that you are scrupulous about each detail, even the lights. Is that true? T.F.: Yes... I’m a “control freak”, I must admit it. (laughs) But this hunger for perfection, it’s also what brought me here tonight. This thirst for controling everything, it also came from the fact I’ve often been right by the past, but I was often dismissed... I have long tried to fight against this facet and to let people speak. And in these cases, it often narrowly avoided a catastrophe. So now I assume it. It pisses me off to have become a control maniac, but I’m used to it now, because it’s what’s best for Ghost, and thus, for the public...

Influenced by Candlemass & Metallica

To open your concerts for this tour, you have chosen your fellow countrymen from Candlemass. You’re fan, we guess? T.F.: I’ve been listening to them since I’m eight! They are my heroes! Their album Tales of Creation is one of my cult record! A decade ago, I had the chance to meet them and today we became very good friends. We are often seeing each others, our wifes and children are getting along pretty well too. Candlemass, it’s family! Their music had a direct impact on my way to compose. Plus, there’s all the imagery! I’m not talking about costumes, but the typography and the biblical visuals which always had greatly influenced me. I’ll even confess you something: The first album of Ghost, Opus Eponymous, was written for Messiah Marcolin’s voice [2nd singer of Candlemass, Redaction Note]. At the time, I didn’t wanted to be the singer of Ghost. Then I asked him to join us, but he had declined the invitation, saying he was busy with another project. So, when time has come to sing, I did it with his head voice. Last year, musicians from Candlemass also supported me on stage during Polar Music Prize’s ceremony [Swedish equivalent of Victoires de la Musique, but with guitars, RN (T.N: ouch, it’s a nice shot in our national music award ceremony face, since they never reward rock/metal artists... So yeah, national sized Grammy’s ceremony)]. We covered “Enter Sandman” by Metallica, in front of Sweden’s King and Queen. Robert Trujillo an Lars Ulrich were there as well. It’s an unforgatable memory! My wife and I, we even had dinner with one of Sweden’s princesses, after the ceremony.

Would the princess of Sweden be a metalhead?! T.F.: I won’t go this far, no (laughs). But she was very sociable, we even toasted. It was exquisite!

“Now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars.” Tobias Forge

Speaking of Metallica, you’ll open for them at Stade de France, on May 12th. There, as well, it’s consecration! T.F.: It’s crazy! I’m going to tell you a funny anecdote. I’m not passionate about football, but it turns out that I was in Paris in 1998, during the World Cup. I wasn’t at Stade de France, but I saw pictures in the city, on big screens. And, at this moment, when I saw the final, that you amazingly won, I told myself that one day, I will play in Stade de France as well. It took me 21 years, but this day finally has come! this is proof that you have to believe in your dreams!

Metallica, it’s an institution for many people. For you as well? T.F.: There isn’t a superlativ strong enough to say how much I love these guys! Especially since they became friends. It’s an honour to have been chosen to support them on stage. Notably because they’re one of the reasons  which pushed me to do music.

Which is your favorite album? T.F.: Ouch, that’s not easy! From a strictly personnal point of view, I would say Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. But from a professional one, as a composer, musician and producer, it’s clearly the Black Album. It’s their best record, the most complete. Reaching this level of perfection, it’s any musician’s dream. Everything is here, the writing is bold, with a lot of character, and the producing is impeccable. I know it’s a record which make polemic amongst purists, but objectively, it’s one of these albums which had contributed to forge the metal we know today. In the colllective mind, doing metal is wearing black and shouting in a mic. People believe it’s easy, when it’s a music requiring a lot of work and precision. The Black Album, it’s the result of a huge amount of work, it’s months and months of work!

Papa Emeritus vs Darth Vader

The Black Album is also the record of notoriety, the one which propulsed Metallica with the general/mainstream public. This exposure, it’s something you’re living since the release of Prequelle. Recently, your appearance in the TV show Quotidien created a conflict amongst fans. To have a guitar solo cut during a live stream, is it the price to pay when a metal band enter the great mediatical circus? T.F.: Of course, it’s a sacrifice to do. Let’s say that, with Ghost, our relations with medias hasn’t always been good. I long refused to play their game. For a long time, these mainstream televisions had asked for interviewing Papa Emeritus. I always opposed them a categorical no. You can’t interview Papa Emeritus, the same way you can’t interview Darth Vader. You can meet James Earl Jones, who borrow him his voice, or the actor David Prowse. But Darth Vader, nobody can speak to him. It’s the same for Papa Emeritus. Today, in order to reach the next level, it’s time to play the game, but in our way. Since I can’t relate on Papa Emeritus to do the job, I accepted to do this interview unmasked. The problem is that journalists hadn’t the necessary keys in hands to understand Ghost. Of course, I’m not talking about you, because rock press know very well what we are and who we are. You tell me about Candlemass, about Metallica... It’s something else. You, you know your subject. Mainstream medias, them, what’s interesting them is to make the buzz, it’s to have a bone to gnaw. Sometimes, I wonder why I accepted to do such mediatical things... It’s not like I needed them, moreover my concerts are full! But, well, I decided that now, I will represent Ghost unmasked. Tobias Forge will be the official interlocutor, the same way George Lucas was the unique spokesman of Star Wars. The person you have in front of you today, it’s kind of Ghost’s director.

Otherwise, what are the future projects for Ghost? T.F.: There will be a release before the end of the year, but it will not be an EP of covers like we often did so far. It will be something else, but it’s not done and I can’t tell you about it yet. But I recorded some things... The rest of the year, I will spend it  on the road, it will be very long, with, notably, dates in South America. I scheduled to go in studio early next year, to realease an album in 2020. You have to strike while the iron is hot!

(Under the cut you’ll find a semi-bitter live report. Take this line as a trigger warning maybe...?)

Tobias Forge at Zénith?

It took 4 albums, 2 EP and a lawsuit before Tobias Forge, Ghost’s mastermind, offer to the french public an indoor show worthy of the name. The rendez vous is written down for early february, at Zénith de Paris.

Live report by: Roseline Artal.

6 000 persons

Concert: 3/5

Public: 3/5

We was told the show in the capital is full of capacity, but some stands are inaccessible and guarded by vigils. It’s certainly to allow everybody to be dazzled that the band decided to not fill  the venue at its maximum capacity, but it’s a shame for those who would have liked to be part of the lucky ones. After a Cigale and an Olympia much comparable to festivals prestations, Ghost decided to put every efforts here. Finally! Candlemass, coming from Sweden, open the ball, remaining on the very front of the stage. Songs flow, some blunders can be heard, notably when the singer Johan Längqvist mix up “A Sorcerer’s Pledge” and “Solitude”, but the crowd seems to appreciate. They rise their fists up in the air when needed, some heads are banging here and there, and we notice a semblance of circle pit down in the front right. However, it’s hard to remain enthusiastic very long in front of the relatively flat performance. Musicians are playing the game and are having fun, which is something at least. 

A cathedral stage It’s almost 9 p.m when lights turn off and the black curtains disappear, reaveling the magnificent stained glasses awning over imposing stairs. Such ornated, the Zénith stage is standing out! It’s with “Ashes”, perfect for an appetizer, Ghost offert themselves to their audience, but it’s “Ritual” which receive all suffrages on this show begining. As for “Devil Church”, it end on a duel between guitarists. When “Miasma” first notes resonnate, one question is on everybody lips: “Will Papa Nihil show himself?”. And the answer is yes, for our greatest pleasure.  “Jigolo Har Megiddo” is beautifully interpreted acoustically, allowing us to rest down our ears for a short time. Indeed, the sound is unbearable, at least without appropriated protections. Fortunatelly, the view isn’t unpleasant, thanks to a Tobias Forge of many personnalities as funny as worrying.

Papa Emeritus as a mafiosi (well, it’s obviously a confusion between Papa and Cardinal from the reporter here, I’ll correct it for the rest of this paragraphe, T.N) It’s well and truly the last album which is highlighted tonight, which is appreciated by fans. They are indeed ready to sing in unison and turn on there phone on “Life Eternal”, while Cardinal Copia play the romantic mafiosi, all in white dressed, thus marking an end to the first act. 15 minutes of break are offered, without a reason being given. Indeed, when the entract ends, the setting hadn’t change and musicians are wearing the same costumes. What if Tobias Forge became the new Axl Rose with his manic to leave the stage for ages with no valid reason? We’re picky, but these minutes could have been used to play other titles, such as the amazing “Elizabeth” which has disapeared from the setlist for years now... Nothing better than “Year Zero” sing by everyone and the cover of Rocky Erikson’s “If You Have Ghost” in order to put us in a good mood. However, the band found a way to ruin it all by dragging the members presentation out for long minutes. What a shame. “Dance Macabre” and “Square Hammer”, which we all keep loving during live, reconcil us with the swedes, then, without surprise, we’re leaving on “Monstrance Clock”, an ode to femal pleasure. When the lights turn back on, we can’t help but thinking this show was both a success and a disappointment notably due to useless dead calm. 

[swingxilly]

20 random facts about yourself that might surprise people

I got tagged by @sapphicmadameumbralis, thanks friend!

Do you make your bed? Uh, I didnt use to but I tend to now. Its fairly new, I think I only started a bit over a year ago, when I moved away for half a year. But nothing fancy. Like. Only folding the blanket a bit usually. Bc I think its annoying if you have to remove all the pillows etc before being able to go to bed and stuff

What's your favourite number? Easy. 5. The story behind it is: I used to read a lot of manga. And usually they put like a character on the cover of the volumes. And very very often, not always but most of the time, on volume 5 was my favourite character. So I decided its my lucky number and it stuck

What's your job? Well its not really a job yet? More of a voluntary year? Its a thing in Germany, you get a bit of money and go to a few seminars and stuff. Mostly its to pass time until getting into university or whatever and getting a bit of experience. I work in a little library in town. Pretty sure it helped with my application business :D

If you could, would you go back to school? Oh, Id love to. Im a very nostalgic person, like... VERY. So. Idk! I miss my friends and how things were between us bc we all have changed and yknow kinda lost a few. I miss a lot and Im not gonna list it all bc I could probably write pages about this. Dont miss the less pleasant parts tho

Can you parallel park? Not yet but I hope I will in the future bc Im currently working on getting my drivers license. :') Lots of anxiety involved in that

A job you had which would surprise people? Im not sure if anything like that exists? At least not for me since I dont have a lot of life experience yet, so I cant think of anything rn. Im just 20 dude and Im scared of shit, so I'm not trying a lot of new stuff

Do you think aliens are real? Yeah. Universe is big, so why not 🤷‍♀️ Sounds reasonable to me

Can you drive a manual car? Im gonna go with yes. Dont have a license yet but as long as Im not in a crazy situation or inside a city, I should be fine. Country roads are fun. And manual cars, well we learn with manual ones here. Automatic isnt as common in Germany as far as I know. My aunts struggling to get a new one bc hers (its automatic) isnt in such a great shape anymore. And its not easy to find automatic cars that arent super expensive I believe? Idk, just what I heard

What's your guilty pleasure? Uh... Idk, everything I do? Does procrastinating count? Bc everything I do always feels like procrastinating all the time

Tattoos? Nope, I have commitment issues

Favourite colour? Yellow, orange and green

Things people do that drive you crazy? A lot. My mom and brother both smh love to not respond when you ask them sth. My brother especially loves to answer sth vague that doesnt answer anything at all. Idk, just one example, Im always annoyed about everything probably

Any phobias? Idk about phobias, just assume Im scared of everything. People, animals, being perceived, mistakes, the future, etc etc

Favourite childhood sport? There was a time when I was watching this volley ball anime and I REALLY loved volley ball. Batminton was also fun

Do you talk to yourself? All the time, constantly

What movie do you adore? Most Ghibli movies... Tangled I also really like and plan on rewatching.. Hmmm, I dont have an absolute favourite tho I think

Do you like doing puzzles? A few months ago I was a little obsessed with it. I had an app on my phone and would do puzzles while listening to some podcasts and it was a lot of fun. I kinda lost interest now tho

Favourite music? Oh boy, a lot of different things. A few soundtracks here and there, some bands here some there, its a mix

Tea or coffee? I hate both, but I drink tea when Im sick sometimes. I hate it tho

The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? An author?? I used to write stories and then I wrote together with a friend and now I dont write anymore. Also an artist probably? Aaalso a librarian bc my mom is one. (librarian is awfully close to barbarian and I love this actually? Just noticed it). The latter one Im currently actually going for

Im tagging... @rottentidepod and @hedwigs-art if you want to! Have fun if you do :D

[purplesurveys]

699

Before

When were you born? April 21st, 22 years ago.

Where were you raised? By who? For the first couple years of my life I lived with my dad’s family in Manila, but that didn’t last long because Manila is just so fucking filthy so we moved to my mom’s family in the city I currently live in. Until I was 10ish I was raised by extended family because my parents were still working hard. By the time they were able to climb enough rungs on their ladder they bought a house and they started looking after me and my siblings directly.

Do you have any siblings? How old are they? Yeah, Nina is 19 and my brother is 16.

What were your first words? No clue, I don’t think my parents got to take note of it.

What are your most vivid memories of your childhood? Playing outside, shifting through the three big kids’ channels to watch Drake and Josh, SpongeBob, Pokemon, and Mr. Bean every night, and babysitting my younger cousins. I also still remember the alcoholism issues but I try not to focus on that side.

What were some of your favorite things when you were young? The first thing I was crazy about was Bratz. It was the cool thing to like those days so I had Bratz shirts, lunchbox, pencil case, backpack, boots, etc. The prizes and giveaways for my 7th birthday were mostly Bratz stuff. When I got a bit older I started liking Disney stars (because Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, and Camp Rock lol), Pokemon, and WWE.

Do you have a lot of photos of yourself from before? Yeah, quite. My dad had a digital camera and a camcorder so he made great use of both.

Do you ever want to go back in time? Only when I find myself strugging in the present. I don’t actively yearn to have my childhood back, because I know it had some miserable parts too.

Or would you rather forget those days? Like I said, there are bits I would rather forget entirely.

Who was your kindegarden teacher? I had three kindergarten years but my very first teacher was named Kathy.

What did you grow up listening to? I didn’t have much of a taste as a kid. The first band I liked was Paramore and the rest is history.

What games did you play in the past? On my phone I had Snake and Space Impact. On my dad’s old laptop I had Insaniquairum, Cake Mania, Diner Dash, a brick breaker game I forgot the name of and a military-ish game I also forgot the name of.

What was the best birthday party you ever had? My parents threw me a grand party for my 7th birthday and it remains one of my favorites.

How about the best vacation? I have different reasons for my different favorites... Palawan’s scenery was breathtaking, our accommodations in Boracay are still unrivaled 11 years later, Batanes’ views were simply something else, Sagada was life-changing, the amount of history preserved in Bataan and Vigan is beautiful, Singapore was a nice glimpse to the modern world LMAO, Bali was super exotic and fun, and my East Asian cruise will always remind me of gaining my independence.

Who was your first crush? Andi.

Who was your first love [if you had one]? Gabie.

When you look back on yourself in the past, do you ever want to laugh? Always. That’s why I don’t look back lol. It’s embarrassing.

What was the best thing about being really young? The fact that my biggest worry was making sure I finished playing outside at the right time so that I can also still catch my favorite shows in the evening.

After

How old are you now? I’m 21, turning 22 in a little over two weeks. I know I’m getting older because the ages are starting to get more and more insignificant D: Who are your closest friends? Gab and Angela. Do you have any nicknames? Just one main nickname. I’m called Byn at home and by relatives. What do you enjoy doing? It depends on my mood. These days I like watching videos, doing a looooot of surveys, and catching up on reading on stuff that I couldn’t read up on because I was too focused on acads while I still had school. But on a normal day I like eating out and spending time with my friends and doing new things together with them. Where do you enjoy going? Coffee shops, chill bars, bazaars, food hubs, my org’s common area. Are you dating anyone? Who? Yeah.

Describe that person? Pretty pissed with them rn so I have no nice words to say, bye.

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Maybe 7 or 8 times out of 10, sure. If you COULD change anything about what you see about yourself, it'd be... My teeth. Name 5 of your personality traits:  1. I’ll be shy with new people at first and whether I warm up quickly to them or not will always be unpredictable; 2. Trust is very important to me and I can easily cut ties with people if I feel like they broke mine; 3. I’m patient in most contexts but can be prrrretty short-tempered in some, i.e. if I have to deal with shitty co-workers or if I’m driving, lmao. 4. I’m scared to do most things on my own and I like having at least one friend with me all the time. 5. I’m quite sensitive and have to work on having thicker skin. What are some of your prized possessions? My dog.

Do you care what others think of you? Some people. I try not to care, but sometimes Personality Trait #5 will rear its ugly head haha.

What's important to you? A lot of things? This is a very vague question. Feeding my dog everyday is important lol but so are people’s political stances because it tells me what they think of the rights of those less fortunate than them.

How likable do you think you are? I honestly don’t think I am at first. I’m pretty aloof and simply quiet at first, but I don’t do it on purpose. I’ve also been told I’m a little formal and intimidating when meeting me for the first time, so I try to do my part in changing that impression and being friendly.

Do you ever have days where you feel useless? Of course.

Do you ever have days where you're very happy with yourself? Yes.

What are you best at? Getting in tune with people’s emotions, reading body language, that kind of stuff. Sometimes I wonder if I’m good only because I’m overwhelmingly anxious and have an uncontrollable need to please people, but I guess as long as I keep making people happy it shouldn’t matter lol.

What do you wish you were better at? Being more assertive.

Do you have any goals you want to accomplish? Yeah sure. I have more traditional goals like having kids but I also have goals for myself, like going to Wrestlemania 50 in 2034.

What song most accurately describes you/your life? I can’t think of any right now but if there is a song talking about having nothing to do during a lockdown in the middle of a pandemic outbreak, that song is it.

Do you regret anything at the moment? Right now, no.

Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? I don’t think so, there’s at least one person who knows any one of my secrets.

Who do you think you take after the most? I have a fair share of qualities from each of my parents. My temper and attention to detail/neatness/organization are from my mom, and my shyness and the fact that I’m really good at giving gifts are all my dad.

How about the person you resemble the most? My mom. But I’m also told I have days where I look more like my dad.

Do you belong to any cliques/cultures? (preps, jocks, punks, goths, etc) Those days ended in high school.

Are you accepting of people that aren't like you/your own crowd? Yeah, as long as they aren’t being disruptive, bullies, or plain assholes.

What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? My grandpa’s one drunken night that went too far. I’ve already talked about it in a past survey and I don’t plan on mentioning it again for a long time.

If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah but I’d be pretty intimidated by her lol.

You could never imagine yourself without: My dog.

Do you consider yourself a smart person? Sure.

Can you be very deep sometimes? I can be, but I’m still a bit selective about what I go deep on. I hate talking about philosophy and morality, for one.

What color would you use to describe your personality? Probably like a mellow shade of olive.

Have you ever been "confused" about yourself? Yeah. I’ve been mostly confused about my sexuality until Dan Howell made a video validating me and everyone else who didn’t want to label themselves and it was okay if they just identified as a formless blob. Since then I don’t let the confusion eat me up anymore.

What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? Gabie.

What celebrity do you idolize? I hate that word but I admire Beyoncé a lot.

What's your favorite famous saying? Can’t seem to think of any right now. I don’t really rely on quotes.

[sandcastles-hedestroys]

1-70 I want to know it all in great detail

I see, the key to getting asks is to passive-aggressively tag your friends.

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Anyone who has ever known me in real life knows I absolutely do not. I have an alcoholic, compulsive liar for a mother and an absent father, plus some grandparents who are so convinced that they are my actual parents that they would probably kick me out if they learned I refer to them as my grandparents. Fun times.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Either my dog or yours lol. I don’t like telling people I love them. That’s something to be shown through your actions, otherwise the word loses its meaning. 

03: Do you regret anything?

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I’ve regretted basically every major decision I’ve made, and I probably shouldn’t be allowed to think for myself. If I had to name a few things that I regret right now, I would say I regret spending my spring break being so bitter. I really did have a good time, but I would have enjoyed myself more if I hadn’t tried to make it about me. My other big regret at the moment is cancelling my campus residence app. I screwed myself out of a guaranteed place and now I’m stuck with a bunch of drama and uncertainty. Also, there’s a friend that I’ve had for years and there were times when I was pretty horrible to her and she stuck with me despite it. I wish I had been mature enough at the time to be the person she needed in her life, instead of causing drama.

04: Are you insecure?

Extremely. I have a lot of insecurities about my body, mostly my face and hair, but a lot of my family in underweight and it was kind of instilled in me, that to be attractive I had to be underweight, like I remember when I started high school I made it a goal to stay below 110lbs until after graduation. I was still growing so that goal was as unrealistic as it was unhealthy. I’ve struggled with disordered eating since I was like 12. Other than that I can be really insecure about asking for the things I want and need. One of my biggest fears is people seeing me as selfish.

05: What is your relationship status?

I’m a single Pringle! I was in a relationship for a few months, but I got dumped because I consistently put my friends before her, which is funny because I’m in the middle of some conflicts with friends over not talking with them enough. I’ve been on a few dates and stuff since then, but I’m in a bad place right now mental health wise, so being single is probably for the best rn. 

06: How do you want to die?

This is kind of dark, but I don’t really care how I die as long as I’m in control of how it happens. If there’s a really wild and interesting story involved that would be even better. 

07: What did you last eat?

I’m munching on some green chili peanuts with a crap ton of Diet Coke. I’m at home right now so I’ve been eating way more than usual.

08: Played any sports?

I used to do ballet, gymnastics, contemporary and jazz, as well as various ballroom dances. I’ve blocked most of it out and lost a lot of my flexibility, but I would love to return to ballet at some point. I miss gymnastics too, but I’m too tall for it lol.

09: Do you bite your nails?

I’ve always been weirdly prideful of my nails and the thought of biting them has always freaked me out, like my nails are my babies. Keeping them nice is a big deal to me so my chompers can stay the hell away lmao

10: When was your last physical fight?

I’ve never actually been in a physical fight. The closest encounters were last semester, when my old roommate got a concussion from a crazy person that used to live with us, and a few years ago when I let a friend slap me.

11: Do you like someone?

I’m assuming this means like like. I’m not super interested in dating right now, but there have been people that have sparked my interest recently.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I am smol and weak. My fragile shell of a body would actually start to disintegrate if I tried this. I’ve only made it to 24hrs once and my body like completely shut down.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I don’t like using the word hate for the same reasons I don’t like using the word love. There are people that I will not associate myself with and there are people in my life that I don’t feel any positive emotions towards, but there isn’t anyone that I could comfortably say I hate. 

14: Do you miss someone?

There are a lot of people from my life a few years back that I really miss, but I have to remind myself that I was a different person then, and some bonds are meant to be broken. I also really miss a lot of the friends I have at school. I take them for granted until we’re apart and then I feel all hallow, like part of me left too and that really sucks.

15: Have any pets?

I have a Chihuahua-weiner mix. He’s super old and he doesn’t have a tail and his name is Bob. He’s great. My aunt’s dog is basically my dog too, and he’s a pit mix. His name is Chester and he is actually a giant teddy bear. My friends have a doggo too, her name is Gwen and I am her aunt. She is the most talented and amazing fluffer who deserves the world.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I’m at that weirdly numb point right now where emotions are like a foreign concept to me. I’ve been super stressed and I have a lot of pretty serious decisions at the back of my mind that I can do nothing about at the moment. I’m super behind on my schoolwork and with all this stress, I know I can’t catch up. It’s super frustrating and there’s been a lot of drama amongst my friend group, making me feel like I can’t really trust anyone in my life right now. My age has been preventing me from doing so much recently and since my birthday is around the corner, even the people who claim to understand have been super condescending about my anger over it. There have also been a lot of deaths recently in the city where I go to school, and I’ve learned that death is a bit of a trigger for me, so that hasn’t been fun. I feel like I’m one serious breakdown from being there myself and that’s super scary. 

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Somehow, no.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

When I was little I was really afraid of spiders and would go out of my way to have them killed. I had intense breakdowns whenever I thought a web touched me. Now, I regret having hurt innocent creatures and I think spiders are really cool. Leave the land crabs alone!

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yeah, knowing what I know now, I think that it would be cool to try and get myself to the point where I am now, but without a lot of the drama.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

My dorm room lol. 

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

I’m taking a greyhound back to my college town on Saturday, and Sunday I’m returning to my normal schedule. I’m not looking forward to that eight hour bus ride.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I’m kind of a lone wolf, and I really want to travel so kinds aren’t really in the picture, at least not until I’ve gotten my doctorate. Even then I would either adopt or use a donor, and I wouldn’t have more than two. 

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Right now only my ears are pierced, but I plan on getting my septum done in May, followed by a double medusa. I also really want dimples and a brow done. Eventually I’d do my nipples and stomach as well.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

I’ve always been geared toward the liberal arts. I love all things involving art, history, and languages. I low-key have always enjoyed math too. I’m working on my bachelors in comparative cultural studies with minors in queer studies and museum studies. I want to carry that on to a masters in gender studies and a phd in Buddhist art. After that I’d like to go back to school fo economics and eventually obtain a masters in economic history.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss people from my past when I’m unsatisfied with the people currently in my life. I have to remind myself that they aren’t around anymore for a reason and that it’s more important to work on the relationships that are relevant. Dwelling on the past does more harm than good. 

26: What are you craving right now?

Some love and affection? I’m not craving anything really. I could just use some peace and quiet.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes. I’ve broken an ex’s heart when I ended the relationship. I was unhappy, to the point where I cheated. This was also the point when I started to question if I was actually a lesbian. I dumped him and never told him why. I broke my friend’s heart when I led her on, but then rejected her because I was in love with someone else (who did something similar to me). I broke my aunt’s heart when I told her I felt like I don’t have a family. I broke my biological mother’s heart when I made it clear that I didn’t want her in my life. I’m pretty good at the whole hurting others thing. 

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

It’s very possible, but if someone did, they never told me.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I can’t name a specific time, but I’m sure it’s happened.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

What isn’t irritating me right now? Oh my god. 

31: Does somebody love you?

I’ve had a lot of people tell me they do, but I have a hard time feeling it most of the time.

32: What is your favourite color?

I love every color, and I don’t like making colors feel left out, so my favorite changes a lot. Right now it’s yellow, because yellow is a bright, warm, happy color. I also really like pink. The pastels of both of those are 10/10

33: Do you have trust issues?

I legit don’t even trust myself. The only person I honestly trust 100% is my aunt. I have really bad trust issues, but I also overshare a ton. My life is a cycle of sharing my life story and then panicking. 

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

The other night I went to sleep while drunk and I had this wild dream where I met someone, learned his whole life story, flirted and eventually fell in love with him, came out to him, saying I’m not sexually attracted to guys (he came out as ace too so it was perf), and then he was hit by a car, causing irreparable brain damage. I woke up right after, but that dream will haunt me.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My aunt. I was updating her on my life in college, and it’s been less than ideal.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

I’m a huge believer of forgive but don’t forget. I used to be so bad about grudges that I would be angry even after forgetting what I was upset about. I guess I have the opposite issue here.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive. Like I said above, I might forgive you, but knowing what someone did before will always leaving me searching for instances of them doing it again. Trust issues who?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

It’s only March and I already know that it will be one of the worst years of my life. Ugh.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I think I was thirteen. I didn’t know how I felt about guys at the time and I almost puked in that poor dude’s mouth. 

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

I have, and it was terrifying. Midday skinny dipping wasn’t one of my greatest ideas.

51: Favourite food?

Avocado on toast with a poached egg on top, muffuletta, yellow curry, and eggs benedict are my top ones.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Absolutely. I didn’t really believe this until my roommate’s big fight last year. So much happened in one night, that wouldn’t have happened if we had done things even a second later. It was wild, but it was like there was so much pent up negative energy that the universe needed to release, and it found a way to make that happen.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I put some food away.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

The thing about cheating is that it’s when you go out of your way to do something with someone else when you know it would hurt your current partner. It’s something that happens when you aren’t happy in your relationship, and in a lot of cases it can be a cry for help. It is hurtful and a sign that a relationship isn’t meant to be, but cheaters shouldn’t always be villainized.

55: Are you mean?

I can be, but I try not to.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

None, lol

57: Do you believe in true love?

Not really. There are so many people that we have things in common with or who exist on the same wavelength. We might find someone that makes us happy for a long while, but nothing is permanent.

58: Favourite weather?

I love hot, sunny days when you can leave windows open, wear shorts, and only drink things with ice. 

59: Do you like the snow?

I lived in Alaska for over nine years before moving to the Sonoran desert. I moved to Northern Arizona for school, and when I saw snow again, it was as an adult who only saw the negative aspects of it. I hate being cold.

60: Do you wanna get married?

I don’t see myself ever being married. I would have to really love someone if I were to actually settle down and start a life with them. Right now I really only see it as something that would tie me down.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I honestly hate baby as a pet name. It freaks me out. The only pet names I find cute are the unusual ones, like once when an ex accidentally called me cornbread.

62: What makes you happy?

Getting my nails done, binging my favorite show (Archer), travel, doggos, wandering around in stores with my music blasting so I can feel like I’m somewhere away from my problems, seeing people impressed with food I made, completing a project and being proud of my work, etc.

63: Would you change your name?

I hate my birth name, but I’m also afraid I’ve been conditioned to feel that way by my grandparents as a way to attack my bio mom. Because of that, I’ve been going by my middle name and various nicknames. Most people close to me call me Abby, but my favorite thing is to be called Lynn. I’m pretty hesitant to legally change it though.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yeah, the last person I kissed kinda sexually assaulted me, and I’d like to avoid that.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Reject them as nicely as possible. Dating would be bad for me right now, and I’m pretty sure I’m not sexually attracted to men.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

I don’t think I have a best friend, period. I don’t think I’m entirely myself around anyone through. Different people will bring out different parts of my personality.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Not sure tbh. 

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My aunt. The conversation we had about my life at school was pretty emotional.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

No, for the same reason I don’t believe in true love. Life is too impermanent for there to be someone our soul fits with perfectly. There is too much change for something to be predetermined like that. 

70: Is there anyone you would die for? 

Anyone who has ever been somewhat nice too me. Honestly though I would be willing to die for a lot of people. The thought of anyone else having to suffer really sucks and if I can save them from that, I would.

[rpsidebloghell]

My last post got me thinking, have I ever introduced you all to my Novel’s characters? Bc I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I love them all so let me break down who they are. (Art isn’t 100% how I picture them but still awesome, commissioned the art like a year ago to help someone raising money for their dog bc of doggo health issues they couldn’t afford)

Elisabeth is the main pov character for the story and the one with the blue as red steaks in her hair. (not always there, done with hair chalk.) And she is a slightly over enthusiastic extrovert(when awake) who loves her dumbass dorky guardians like they were actually family. She also likes to goad Desmond into piggy back rides and usually fails and just jumps on Phoenix’s back and will give people the dirtiest look ever if people as if her and Desmond are dating because “no??? We grew up together??? He’s practically my brother and I’d sooner eat a live chicken????” Elisabeth is NOT the hero of this story, idk she’s just the one who stood out to me for pov bc she would be there for basically all of it bc of Aqua and Phoenis but like, plot is driven by the Elemental Advisors which btw is the name for the novel.

Desmond is Mr. I’m Gonna Wear A Ring Around My Neck Instead Of On My Finger BC I Can. He is literally the definition of an optimist, he prefers to believe that things will turn out fine until proven wrong and even then he’s someone who thinks every thing happens for a reason. He is just as disgusted as Elisabeth if anyone mistakes them as a couple but is better at hiding that then he and will usually just correct them and be like “no we’re just best friends!”. He legit has to drag his guardian out of caves sometimes when he gets into a depressed and brooding mood and once found him napping as a dragon and got Phoenix to do it instead bc “??? Dude I don’t wanna get stepped on and your more durable than me???” Draco has been a guardian to people in his family for generations upon generations, having met a young boy wanting the desert an spending 9 years helping him find his family before deciding he didn’t feel right leavin him behind. So he formed a guardian bond with him and has had one with 1 member of the family at any given time since, though there are sometimes gaps well e waits for a member to e born that he wants to form a connection with or as he tries to find someone in the family that he wants to make a guardian bond with and they with him.

Elisabeth as Desmond are both human beings from the planet earth(or mostly in Elizabetha case but???? That’s more plot centered than character which I’m nothing getting into RN)

Aquarius is the one with the blue hair and elf like ears, and honestly if it wasn’t for her neither one of her dork Elemental advisor partners would get anything done when together because Phoenix just finds it to fun to annoy Draco out of his quietness. She along with Drago and Phoenix are 3 of the 5 Elemental advisors to their king, and also spirits of the constellations of the same names. There is a whole big “Star Spirit Race” lore thing I could get into but YOLO not gonna RN. She is the physical embodiment of the star spirit of Aquarius(best way to explain without getting in depth is its roughly how gems physical form works in Steven Universe but also somewhat different??) and has powers over water and healing. She’s with Phoenix an exclusive though their commitment isn’t a permanent thing yet(which is rare with start spirits bc cause of how long they are around) and at one point when younger she and Draco had a brief relationship. She’s pretty close with the ‘elder’ advisors Perseus and Antila as well, she very much enjoys training with all of her fellow advisors in power combination and always enjoys getting their opinions on an idea that she had involving this. Free time tends to be spent letting herself drift and sink and float on any large body of water she can find.

Phoenix is the dude with the flamey hair and for the most part a giant dork who loves to annoy his best friend and future leader of the advisors Draco, who usually proceeds to try and lift himself away from the annoyance on a column of earth. He however can be a bit F a hot head at times, though it’s only ever once gotten out of control. When Draco’s wife and Polaris’(“King” of the star spirits) half human love child who they’d all come to see as a trusted friend turned evil and went crazy(legit not her fault, her human brain couldn’t cope with immortality) he lost control an Mt. Vesuvius erupted and he destroyed Pompeii and stayed their in isolation not talking to anyone or like 10 years till his mentor (Constellation Leo) got him to leave to help his depressed AF bff. He still feels terrible about what happened and will get broody whenever the city is mentioned. He Phoenix has always had a thing for Aquarius, however he never really said anything until somewhat recently by star standards-about 300 years ago. That’s a minor part in their history together though an they didn’t get together right away anyway so u won’t get in depth any more than I did in with Aqua’s blurb. His powers are pretty obviously fire related but??? He can morph into a Phoenix form as well.

DRACO, my god I had to save this broody little bitch last bc I’ll prob just keep babbling about him. Draco is my self created problematic fav. He is the next leader of the advisors as decided by Perseus, Antila and Polaris. (though TBH Aqua was a close second till se made it known she had no desire to actually lead when the debates about who would be the next leader were going on) He is also such a fucking broody little both these day, okay. Sorry back on track. Part of the reason for him being chosen as an advisor in the first place was his raw power, he has powers over both dirt and dirt like substances and plant life, can shift Ito a dragon and has naturally enhanced strength due to the dragon part of him. All this and he sill can’t stop his wife from going mad from immortality. OKAY OKAY SORRY BACK ON TRACK AGAIN.

Draco was trained in his ability a of Earth by Taurus and Plant life by Libra, later on by Perseus in leadership. He ended up close to ad old friend with Phoenix and Aqua before all the shit happened that made him a broody little bitch. When Phoenix volunteered for and left on an extended mission with Antila he and Aqua grew closer without Phoenix there, they had a brief relationship that had dwindled out naturally after a couple centuries-something not uncommon with their people. After Polaris’ daughter Vega was born the advisors were made her teachers an protectors, it wasn’t until she was nearly 30 the feelings shifted from that for Draco but there with the issue of lifespan and Vega not wanting to start somethings for the sole reason of not wanting to die on him. Eventually with the help of Aquarius and Pisces they found the solution of taking a small part of some stars energy force and replacing it with her own, though not enough for them to really notice. It worked and she was now basically immortal and they could live on happily every after for a thousand year before she went mad and he and she became committed to one and other after a couple centuries and they had matching sets of silver and gold bracelets to signify that except it didn’t last and she went crazy bc her brain wasn’t meant to handle that long of a life.

Because of her threat but neither Draco or Polaris wanting her to die she was sealed away(with help from the constellations Cepheus and Cassiopeia and guarded by Cetus lolololol couldn’t resist the Greek Myth reference bc I’m a dork) until they could find out how to fix the problem of her going mad and then Draco brooded in a cave for a few centuries before meeting Desmond’s ancestor and he wears Vega’s bracelets that he left behind when he refused o help her crazy self along with his own and basically just wonders why existence is so cruel and how to get Vega back to herself even if she still chooses not to be with him bc he’d rather a universe where she was truly herself and not driven mad but not with him than a universe where she is locked away for eternity as sill not with him. He just wants a universe where Vega is truly Vega and not some deranged version of herself driven mad by immortality.

EDIT: Legit 100% only because of her healing abilities that Aqua doesn't have scars like the boys even though she repeatedly tells them to come to her for healing when they are hurt and gives them a death glare when se realized thy have once again not done this each ad every time.

[katlizrom-blog]

The K adventures

im 18. 5′2, brown hair and brown eyes, of hispanic decent... and as my whole 136 lbs sits infront of my laptop i like to think im thick and not fat. I have a lot of stuff going on and i also have a lot of issues...who better to tell then a bunch of strangers right?

Lets start at the beginning.

I was born in a beautiful place called california...(i dont wanna be to specific cuz lets be real some of yall might be some creepers). i lived there till i turned 8 then i moved to an awesome place called las vegas, and ive been here ever since. Ive grown up here. My elementary, middle and high school are all 20 minutes away from eachother and i still see/talk to some of my teachers. Crazy how this super big city seem so small... Well like any other 18 year old its been a bumpy ride and im still waaaaay far from being anywhere close to done. Ill be honest i think ive made more mistakes than the average 18 year old...but then again i do live in a city known for sinning. 

WELL. My most recent dilemma is that i suck at love.. like pretty bad..to the point where ive resulted to keeping all my current relationships strictly sexual...or at least trying to. That my dilemma...i cant keep my relationships physical... my hearts to big... almost as big as my butt if were being real. But well for you guys to help me with that i gotta go allll the way back to my freshman year of highschool and my first love yaddy yaddy yadda.

Entering high school i was very big on being a good girl. I dint like getting in trouble and not because i felt bad about disappointing my parents but because i H A T E D getting yelled at... fucked up yeah i know.. but im trying to be as honest as i can be.. well ever since i was younger ive always had really bad anger issues. I dont like being told what to do, being criticized... didnt like lectures or when my parents sat me down to give me advice on life and i definitely didnt like getting yelled at. NOTICE how im saying didnt.... i think ive grown out of all of that. Actually no let me rephrase...ive learned to deal with all of that, But anyways i was a good girl.. till like the middle of the school year. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and though i dony think i ever been the type to succumb to peer pressure... well long story short i was basically a 14 year old chimney. I used to smoke so much and reek of so much weed that i once had a teacher ask me if i sold it because the juniors were starting to get to her and her dealer had given up the hustling. No lie. 

In my adventures as a mini bob marley i started ditching school and hanging out in this tunnel that was behind my school. That was the go to ditching spot. One day i was walking my happy high as to meet my friends and i met a yummy guy named.....Aiden...Lets call him aiden. He was super cute, about 6 ft tall, had a smile to die for ....and lets not leave out the fact that his voice was smoother than butter. Me and Aiden got to talking and although he was 2 years older we hit it off surprisingly well, and i gave him my number. Fast forward 3 months...we spend so much time on the phone that sometimes wed see the sun coming up and itd already be time to get ready for school.. and i had developed bags so insanely dark they could only be described as designer..aahahhhaha get it? .... whatever. Any ways, my little (by then) 15 year old self was sooo inlove. He was in my instagram bio and everything!!! Keep in mind that im hispanic...and in my family you werent allowed to date unless you had a gpa of 100.100 and you were at least 18.. not only i was i three years too young, but my gpa was so low i was getting job offers from mcdonalds  sent to my email, so this was all done in secret.

Well after being in puppy love for about 5 months i invited my supposed future husband to my house on a night that my parents were supposed to be out all night.

Its 2AM rn and i have work at 10 so like the responsible young adult i am...ima get me some beauty sleep. K outie !

[g-ema]

All the asks

1 - Who was the last person you texted? - @leia-hannah

2 - When is your birthday? - april 24th

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? - @leia-hannah, we have too much to talk about 

4 - What sports do you play? - none

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? - alex (family friend)

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? - city of stars from la la land…i cant stop singing it 

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? - @leia-hannah, she’d keep me entertained 

8 - What do you feel right now? - tired

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? - mint m&ms 

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? - 0 

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? - @leia-hannah told me to 

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? - @leia-hannah of course 

13 - Where do you want to be right now? - on holiday somewhere warm

14 - What do you want to be in the future? - happy

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? - a few weeks ago because i was stressed at work

16 - Are you happy? - ehh

17 - Who do you miss? - guess

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? - if i could keep the same people i have now, yes 

19 - What was the best thing you were given? - my car

20 - Who was the last person who called you? - @leia-hannah

21 - What is your favorite dish? - roast dinners are sooo good

22 - Who is your bestfriend? - @leia-hannah 

23 - What is your biggest regret? - something way too personal for this 

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? - never had one 

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? - either @leia-hannah (i need more friends ahah) or my brother 

26 - Name someone pretty. - you guessed it, @leia-hannah

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? - my mum 

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? - depends on my mood

29 - Are you over your past? - nope 

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? - @leia-hannahs mum omg 

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? - someone kind

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? - yes

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? - my mum

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? - jeans

35 - How’s your heart? - sore 

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? - no

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? - honestly couldnt say

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? - hows it going being nonexistent? 

39 - Do you have any phobias? - heights, big time 

40 - Did you try to change for a person? - yeah a few times 

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? - a care package 

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? - ??

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? - more towards the latter rn

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. - @leia-hannah

45 - Describe your dream date. - either watching the stars or a cosy movie night 

46 - Describe your dream wedding. - as lame as it sounds…one at disney they look like so much fun

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? - zero

48 - Have you ever been kissed? - yes

49 - How long is your longest relationship? - nothing

50 - Do you regret your past? - parts of it 

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? - if i love them enough

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? - yeah

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? - i think its a waste of time 

54 - Are you a crybaby? - nope

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? - quite frequently, yeah

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? - yep

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? - i regret everything i do

58 - Do you like getting hurt? - no

59 - Does anyone hate you? - probably 

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? - nope

61 - What hair color do you prefer? - brunette 

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? - how pale i am

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? - nahh

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? - honestly, yeah

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? - dont go to school…

66 - Can you live without internet? - no i need the distraction 

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? - that being @leia-hannah, good grief by bastille (it played all the time on the radio when we went to the beach) 

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? - i think so 

69 - Are you a crybaby? - didnt i answer this??

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? - a few too many times when i was younger 

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? - no 

72 - Do you study hard? - i used to 

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? - i did, it didnt go very well for me 

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? - possibly??

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? - yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year? - crashed my car

77 - What kind of person are you? - a kind one i like to think

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? - yeahh

79 - Have you ever been jealous? - so many times 

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? - im not really sure, depeds on the type of person i guess 

81 - What are you thinking right now? - is it too late to try and get out of going to work?

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? - work

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? - so many 

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? - i have 

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? - no i dont have the confidence to do that 

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? - of course i have 

87 - Do you have trust issues? - slightly 

88 - Are you broken-hearted? - i wouldnt really know 

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? - hannah

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? - depends what its for 

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? - i kinda do 

92 - Who do you want to marry? - i dont know if i ever want to get married 

93 - Do you believe in destiny? - kinda?

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? - me and hannah have already agreed we are ahaha

95 - How do you look right now? - tired

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? - idk 

97 - Have you found your true love? - nahh

98 - What should you be doing right now? - nothing really 

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. - …

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? - all the time 

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Just in Time for Halloween, The Ask D'Mine FEAR Edition!

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Just in Time for Halloween, The Ask D'Mine FEAR Edition!

OK, we've been doing fear all month... but this week's edition of our diabetes advice column, Ask D'Mine, is especially scary! Chills-down-the-back scary! I promise. Have you met its host, type 1 PWD, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois?

Don't let him scare you off entirely this week 😉

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Lisa from Florida, type 3, writes:I'm a mother of a 14-year old girl with type 1 diabetes. Our healthcare system is truly unraveling because of Big Pharma and insurance companies. I fear for my daughter's future because of it (and remain pessimistic that a cure will ever come because of the huge profits that come with diabetes treatment). So why can't we at least lobby for generic insulin that would be affordable to all? With numbers of diabetes growing so big, we would be a mighty force to reckon with!

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Well, as to the cure, let me tell you my favorite scary Halloween story: The cure for diabetes probably has been found, no less than 13 times, even... So why on earth haven't we heard about it? Why the @#$%& are we all still shooting up insulin?

I can just picture the scene: John Q. Researcher, PhD, has just finished writing up his diabetes cure results and has emailed them to the New England Journal of Medicine. He has a good heart, but visions of glory and fame dance across the insides of his eyelids when closes his eyes. Then the phone rings. The Nobel Prize Committee would like to talk to him about his findings.

He can't believe his good luck as a jet-black stretch limo pulls up outside his ivory tower. The driver, in a black trench coat and mirrored sunglasses, holds the door open for him. In the back, an open bottle of champagne awaits. Oh, along with some... you know... overly-large-breasted party favors.

But after the limo whisks Dr. Researcher out of the city, something seems amiss. The airport is the other way. What's going on? The city falls behind as the limo roars out into the empty countryside. Dr. R is starting to get a little antsy, a little sweaty, but the bimbos pour him another glass of bubbly...

And suddenly the limo pulls sharply off the main highway and barrels down a dirt road. The sky is darkening now. A flash of lighting streaks across the horizon. The wind picks up and dry leaves blow and scatter in the wake of the limo.

Something is definitely wrong. Dr. R reaches for the door handle and finds it's been removed. He can't get out of the limo. There's no escape. He's trapped.

Dr. R has a date with the grim pharma reaper.

Yes, 13 times diabetes has been cured. And 13 times the researchers have been driven out and "deposited" into a corn field, and their research burned.

BOO!!!

OK, so I don't really believe that, but there're probably people who do. The real fact is that it's damn hard to come up with a cure for a disease when you can't even figure out what causes the frickin' disease in the first place. And thus far, the cause of your daughter's diabetes is rather ghost-like. Sometimes, during a full moon, researchers think they can see it... but then...

Money aside, trust me, a lot of good-hearted people are hard at work on a cure. Even so, I'm pessimistic that it will come soon, too. I don't blame greed for the lack of progress. I just think the obstacles are too large to overcome anytime soon.

I also think pessimism can be good medicine for our diabetes. If we live our lives like there will be a cure tomorrow, we'll be careless with our health, and pay a very high price indeed. If we live our lives like there will never be a cure, the worst that can happen is we'll be pleasantly surprised. And on that day I'll meet you and your daughter, along with the rest of the gang, down at the Krispy Kreme. Oh, and then I'll need to look for a new job. (I kinda think that under the circumstances, I'll have a hard time getting too upset about that.)

But you're right, there's a lot of money to be made on diabetes, and thank God for that. I bet you think I hit the bottle early today, huh? Nope. Here's how I run the math. Think how much more money Big Pharma can make if they can extend my life just one year. In just one year, think how many more test strips, how much more insulin, how many more CGM sensors, and how many more infusion sets I'll use. Oh, and it gets better. Just think how much more money they'll make if they can extend my life by five years? Or by a decade?

I'm a frickin' gold mine.

But guess what? While they're mining all that gold, I'm alive for my son. So you gotta keep these things in perspective.

As to lobbying for generic insulin... well, more on lobbying in a minute, but let me talk about insulin first. When a medicine goes generic, the formula becomes public knowledge. Yep, it would be just like if you could look up the Colonel's secret recipe on the internet. But making insulin is a lot harder than making fried chicken. Now I don't know exactly how much it costs to build an insulin manufacturing plant, but I'm pretty sure it's a long number with a lot of commas and zeros in it. Frankly, anyone who built an insulin plant to sell generic insulin would never recoup their investment. And actually, we kinda sorta have generic insulin already. The Wal-Mart ReliOn insulins are out-of-patent formulations that sell for about a quarter of the cost of the fancy-pants stuff we all prefer. (btw, it's made by Eli Lilly.)

Now, I loved your image of people with diabetes as a mighty force to reckon with. Let's think about that for a minute. The United Auto Workers have around a million members and have been known to make a few congressmen tremble in their boots (disclaimer: I'm a card-carrying member of the National Writers Union, which is actually part of the UAW). What're some other influential groups in our county? Oh, the National Rifle Association comes to mind, they have a little bit of political clout with around four million members.

But the official number of persons with diabetes this year is 25.8 million. If we voted with one voice we'd be second only to AARP (with their 40 million members) when it comes to political power and clout. A million-man march would look like a Sunday picnic compared to a 25-million diabetic march, don't you think?

And if we actually organized, and spoke, and voted, with one voice, we could practically be the only game in town—for two reasons. First, in 2010 around 90 million Americans turned out to the polls to vote. So, in theory, we could be about a quarter of the voting population. Oh, and if our loved ones also came to the polls with us, we could command half the vote. Or more.

And second, our cause, if narrowly focused on a limited number of diabetes-specific issues, is non-partisan. That's how Prohibition got passed in the

'20s. It was some groups that wanted the election focused on Prohibition and Prohibition alone. They supported politicians of both parties who favored the issue and they voted out anyone of either party who got in their way. I hate to compare the diabetes cause to anything as crazy as Prohibition, but if a freedom-loving country like ours was once taken over by a small group of highly focused fanatic people in this way, we could take a page from their playbook.

Maybe this Halloween, it's time to transfer some fear: from us to the people in Washington, D.C.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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