#this is about the queer muslim group chat i'm in

[november-babey]

it's all about queer love and queer joy!!

[basedkikuenjoyer]

A Tale of Two Hannya: Art Imitates Life

These are always kind of a trickier beast to write because by design the comparison casts a more negative light on a popular character. But they tend to be well received. Living near the path of peak totality for the big US eclipse, had me wanting to finish this one sitting in my drafts because well...we have both sun & moon themes as well as a dynamic of "upstaging" each other. Which is kinda cool. I really do think, when taken together, Kiku & Yamato give you one of the most interesting dynamics in this massive series despite the two faces almost never appearing together.

Let's step back a little though. Why? Why would our author structure so much of Luffy's story in Wano through the top two new faces for the arc? Almost splitting Luffy's story in half with mirror opposites; humble and helpful followed by flashy yet flawed. Pitting organic bonding against the spotlight. A very straightforward and earnest trans woman foiled by a deliberately inconsistent and ambiguous character falling somewhere you'd call transmasculine. Our Crane Wife and our Dragon's King's Daughter, forget the plot of One Piece for a moment...what's the reflection of our world they mirror?

As gross as it is to compare oneself to Doflamingo, I promise I'm going somewhere with this. And, to be fair I can think of a few specific people who'd make that type of comparison about me. I like to think I use my powers for good, but anyone with them would say that. Touched on it a little with the Otohime side story but over the 2010s I had my little strings in just about every corner of LGBT activism throughout a region that's now a solid gay haven in a conservative state. For the first half of that decade, it was thrust upon me because people saw how solid a representative a young, cute, well-spoken lady would be at diffusing old stereotypes. An MA in Political Science helped too.

Because it's currently Ramadan still, I'd like to share one story I feel was a high watermark and how it rippled in a way that is gonna shape my outlook here. When I noticed there was a shift. One I felt trepidation about aspects of initially and today feel vindicated seeing how Gen Z views their elders. It was Ramadan a fair few years ago now, while part of a board for something I got to know a local Muslim leader and his wife. They were used to inviting other community leaders to join them for Iftar, the fast-breaking meal. They wanted to show their young progressive members they were listening and respectfully invite someone trans, remember these are often very sex-segregated places. Even if there were some livid hardliners most of the women really liked me and you could tell it meant a lot to some of the older teen girls who really wanted to square more progressive beliefs with their faith.

Late 2010s, so if I told you there was backlash in queer circles guess who. More or less entirely people who'd fit that college radfem to transmasc mold. "I'd have gone to the women's side in solidarity and liberated those oppressed women being soo radical." "Don't you think what Rhea did was you know, kinda problematic? If I have to explain to you how it's low-key cultural appropriation I don't even..." "They only picked her because she acts like a little Barbie doll." Yes, that last one is peak feminism. They can call me wicked if they want; at least I was called to serve while they were all just rabble-rousers who decided they were the only morally pure enough ones to be local leaders. That's what this was all about, politics.

If you ask me personally about the current state of trans movements? It kinda comes down to that. Most Milennials, trans women, men, & even nonbinary folk, tend to use the community as a temporary safe haven but acceptance has come far enough it tends to stay temporary. Gender is but one aspect of our identity, the hugbox and group chats about pronouns only really feel like they're giving you something for so long. The holdout? In my experience that tends to be trans men or transmasc enbies who took a half-step before coming out in the relative privilege of radical feminist spaces offering a little space within. I don't have a whole lot of animosity towards these guys...it just feels like sometimes it becomes all of our problem when that radfem space pumped you full of a distorted vision of "male privilege" and you feel jilted you didn't get that by waking up one day and saying you are now man.

Was Eiichiro Oda going for all that? Fuck no. I was a longtime leader of a local movement, he's a cis author on the outside looking in. Better way these two make sense is more an author being aware enough (Japan had a similar trajectory over the last decade) these two serve well as standins for the extremes of what a teen today sees about this transgender community. Okama type caricatures just don't work anymore. Transmasc nearing 30 who feels like they don't even know what they want? Playing word games that feel like you never stopped and thought how they'd sound to other people? Chasing an idealized version of masculinity? It's not exactly an uncommon sentiment. It's a side-effect of finally getting that long sought visibility...scrutiny goes hand in hand.

It's a Tale of Two Hannya because it's weaving in the story of one community experiencing a Tale of Two Movements. Two movements that are at times diametrically opposed (foes). That's where the upstaging or "eclipse" aspect comes in. The way beats for one influence the other even without trying. Why Yamato's the one trying to find a place and Kiku's already dealing with average pressures of being a woman. Regardless of how you feel about that personally, you have to at least acknowledge this is the general impression teens today seem to have. Hypothetically, you could get the same effect between a more clear-cut trans man and someone kinda like Kamatari.

Ultimately, Wano is about who we are vs the roles we play. We see other places where themes of just saying you fill a role doesn't mean you are. I've said Yamato's a gentle critique of the extreme "you are what you say your are" side of trans movements. I understand why people would want to see things that way, but gender is a social phenomenon. For the record, I do think it low-key radiates dude energy to not care about shit like cannonballing tits out into the main bath, no one should have to act a certain way and all that. But it's a good pair for demonstrating where we're at in general. The emotions they evoke out of readers are a good reflection of where young men are kinda at on all this trans stuff. And both are still portrayed as cool, friendly people. But I do see where it's coming from when Oda shifts that classic immaturity element from Kiku more to Yamato.

[naturebrujo]

No cap, I legit had to take like a genuine break from social media. I mean, it wasn't a break break but I deadass wasn't as social online as I normally am and it is because of what's been happening in Palestine. I've always knew about the genocide happening there but ever since October 7th, I legit started questioning my faith. Like, I had to ask myself if I wanted to be surrounded by people who think killing innocent people is okay but we're the "chosen ones." I had to see other Jews that I looked up to for guidance cosign children being fucking beheaded because they feel uncomfortable walking outside wearing their Star of David necklace. That shit like that fucking shit pushed me so far away from my faith and I'll be real honest, that shit hurt me deeply. Of course I know not every Jew is like that, the majority of Jews are against the genocide and occupation but my God does your faith start getting thin when you are in a room with bloodthirsty monsters telling you that we're comrades because I am no comrade with anyone that thinks genocide, rape, torture, and murder is okay.

Anyway, funnily enough, this made me interested in Islam again and now I'm in a group chat with queer Muslims who are throwing a queer prom on the 18th ^^. This is definitely a ramble post but yeah, that's like why I've been absent on here lol

[vaspider]

I was able to make friends with another nonbinary person!!! I went over their place to bleach her hair and while we were talking I found out they had just come out and we were able to bond over gender things.

Also, if you have the energy, do you have any tips to getting to meet other trans individuals in person? I'm not sure what to even look up to find a group that isn't just a Facebook group which feels mildly unsafe since it's attached to personal information. But I dont want my only exposure to the LGBT community to be online. Thank you for any information you're able to give

It depends on where you live. Let's pretend for the sake of argument that you live where I live: Portland, Oregon.

I do want to say up front that in this time of COVID especially, I consider any "intentional time-specific gathering," whether on Zoom, Discord, or any other way, to be "in person." I realized I'd never clarified this when I talk about this stuff. I haven't been to anything where I sit around with other humans and breathe the same air intentionally since February 2019 save for like... 2 weeks last summer when I got to go to 2 outdoor Shabbat services in that little window between "full vaccination" and "Delta", and ECCC, which we had spent like $6k on before Delta and couldn't afford to miss.

Since we're gonna have COVID for a fucking while yet, and because even after COVID is gone, online solutions will always be an important accessibility tool for a lot of disabled people, I think it's useful to recalibrate our ideas of what "in person" are, and the value we give to those video/call/chat options.

So with that in mind, I'd start by (if you're not comfortable using Facebook, which unfortunately is one of the better places to find local meet-up groups which aren't awful) finding a local college website and searching "LGBT resources" or just searching "LGBT resources near me" or "LGBT resources [zipcode]" on the search engine of your choice.

For me, that pulls up SMYRC, the Q Center, Basic Rights Oregon, Brave Space, The Living Room, the TransActive Gender Project, and more.

From there I'd winnow down the list to what's appropriate to me (some of these are youth-focused, though getting involved as a volunteer with those might be a good option for you to meet other trans adults who are also volunteering), and go poking through. The Q Center has a Community Events calendar which lists events outside the Q Center itself (like a play called "The Queers" which was at Backdoor Theater), a Q Center Events calendar (all events currently virtual), and a Free Resource Events calendar, which includes things like pantries, name change clinics, AA meetings for LGBTQ+ folx, support groups for bipolar, late-in-life queers, and all kinds of things.

Since I'm Jewish, I would also look at Keshet's Equality Directory to find queer-friendly rabbis near me (which would likely indicate there are queer and trans folx at that synagogue). If I were Christian, I would check GayChurch.org instead. I didn't find a directory like that for pagan folx but I did see some local FB groups. There's a list of resources for LGBTQ+ Muslims on Muslims For Progressive Values.

I had some luck on Twitter also. There are a bunch of relatively loud local activists on there, and being on Twitter doesn't require you to give up much personal information. Emet got involved with local leftists by looking for people like Robert Evans, who does the podcast Behind the Bastards, and then looking at who he was talking to locally and just poking around from there.

There are also a bunch of clubs and bars and stuff, which are constantly advertising on local FB groups and sometimes on Twitter. I'm not doing those right now for obvious reasons.

If you are in a rural area, you might want to look at the nearest city, even if it's a relatively small city. I used to drive down to Bethlehem from the Poconos when I was in HS for Rocky Horror (which is another thing you can look for - RHPS hasn't aged well, but it meant a lot to us older queers and a lot of us forgive its failures and faults the same way we forgive our unintentionally offensive grandpa who tries real hard) and into Philly from Lancaster for stuff. The good news is that with stuff being virtual rn, you can test out a community without driving hours!

I'm sure there are things I didn't think of, so if anyone has other suggestions, please put them in the notes!

[thistherapylife]

How are you so comfortable with your sexuality? I don't mean that in a bad/rude away. I'm just really struggling and I really don't know what to do anymore.

Are you the anon who has written in before about changing their sexuality? You don’t have to answer - I was just wondering if it was the same. If so, I’ve thought about you from time to time and hope that you are treating yourself gently.

It took time. I wasn’t as comfortable at 15 as I was at 25. I wasn’t as comfortable at 25 as I am now. My mom is of the “those gays are fine as people I guess but jesus really says that’s not good” folks but my dad was/is super supportive. I mean, I called my dad from the dance floor after getting snuck into a gay bar with a huge group of lesbians because I was so excited. He told me to drink a lot of water and have fun (take note people who want/have kids: my dad never snooped or invaded my privacy and I am way more honest with him). My dad also dated a woman for years when I was growing up who now identifies as a butch lesbian. I also did most of my early volunteer work with AIDS peer counseling and information organizations that tended to have a lot of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans folks involved. I went to a hippie version of the a catholic all girls school. We didn’t have a GSA but I’d say half the drama club (I did tech because of course I did) and/or softball team (my mom thought it would build teamwork or something but it just made me more into ladies) was queer of some variety. I was in a wonderful group in college that made me feel like I finally fit somewhere. My ex-girlfriend just sent me some old videos of our time in the group and it was hilarious and wonderful to see how relaxed and happy we were with each other. 

Being bisexual sucked in my early twenties sometimes. I never felt like enough. The lesbians I dated or knew called me a LUG or BUG. Or trying to insist that I didn’t know my own mind - that I had been “brainwashed by heteronormativity” (which would be hilarious if it hadn’t been so invalidating). If I tried to date a dude and be honest, it rapidly turned into “Can we have a threesome?” “Can I watch?” - which if you are into that - go for it. But I’m not and being bisexual doesn’t like unlocking an orgy superpower. Part of the reason why I identify as queer is that I’ve had that word used against me in violence and it’s mine now. Since then, I also have had many positive experiences connected to it. Though I know that others in the community have a different experience and try and accommodate that (especially in person) if someone let’s me know or I observe that it’s bothering them. 

I’m in a relationship with someone who id’s as male but all my other relationships have been with women. Chances are if this relationship ends I’ll go back to dating women as that’s where I’m most comfortable. But who know. I’m more comfortable being in the middle but it’s not always easy. 

Be patient with yourself. Look at where your messaging has come from around sexuality. Is that who you want to mirror yourself? Explore it with a therapist if you can - many cities have low to no cost group or individual therapy for the lbgtq community. See about maybe volunteering or going to some events put on by queer groups. Even if it’s something as small as approaching a booth at a university fair. You may want to try and find communities online (but the internet can be wonderful but also a cesspool so use caution). The Trevor Project does really amazing work and has chat, text and phone support for anyone 13 - 24 if you fit into that age range. You could also contact them and ask for resources if you are 24+. 

I don’t know have a ton of resources regarding the religious aspect if that’s part of what’s making you uncomfortable but I have friends who go to inclusive churches or synagogues which have given them a lot of support over the years. If you poke around the internet, you can find support for Muslim or Hindu members of the LBGTQ community. 

I am wishing you the best of luck. Treat yourself gently.

[emcon-imagines]

Hey Em, hope you're doing well 💛 thanks so much for all the aos fics!!!

🎶 song requests - send me song recommendations and I’ll send some back The pretty reckless only love can save me now!! Marina venus fly trap. Marina numb. Kylie Minogue dance floor darling. Barbara Streisand windmills of your mind. Twenty one pilots ode to sleep. Aly and AJ attack. Judy Garland San Francisco. 🎼

call in - rant, tell a story, talk about a crush

I'm over tired and anxious atm and got a little irritated by the double standards of a post that went along the lines of my religion and faith is inherently homophobic and just bad in general this kinda stuff has the tendency to annoy me because it's literally the exact opposite because if someone truly tries to follow my religion they literally believe that God is present in every single person because he made us in his image (even people who do really terrible things like murder etc) and that the purpose of life is to look out for each other so that we may meet again and share a Kingdom of peace together and I'm literally a lesbian! sorry for the rant but it just annoys me that some people in one group are like you can't be here because lesbian...and the other group who is self acclaimed to be more loving and accepting are like you can't be here either because you love God and try to practice your beliefs like honestly what the heck!? And then I got a shady message from some creep on this, went onto his blog to block and made the terrible mistake of scrolling down his blog a bit to suss out wether I should report him or not and all I succeeded in doing was further upsetting myself

Anyway apologies for spewing my garbage here, also from that question list how many pairs of shoes do you own? 👡

Ok your music taste seems to perfectly intersect with mine and I added like a ton of your recommendations to my current listening playlist. Here are a few songs I recommend!!

mars - YUNGBLUD

Disco Man - Remi Wolf

Feed The Birds / The Place Where Lost Things Go - Evynne Hollens

Claudia Lewis - M83

Found My Friends - Hayley Kiyoko

Put On Your Sunday Clothes - from “Hello Dolly!”

In regards to your call in, I can totally feel for you, as someone else who was also raised religious and is part of the queer community. I don’t think you could have summarized my own thoughts any better and how I ended up reconciling my beliefs with my sexuality. 

It’s a super cliché verse but Psalm 139:14 is 100% a place that I found validation and reconciliation, and though I am not trans myself, I think a lot about a quote by Daniel M. Lavery in his book “Something That May Shock and Discredit You” in which he writes:

“As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: “God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.”

It’s so bananas to me that people took Jesus’ preaching of “hey we should be nice to each other :)” and turned it into fuel for bigotry, because you’re right! I also think a lot about the second commandment about taking the Lord’s name in vain, and how people interpret that as “you can’t say things like ‘oh my God’“ where I really think it’s more about twisting faith and the Lord’s word to speak hate or ideals that go directly against the actual thesis of the Bible.

Personally, I think the concept of a faith is dope, but institutions are often corrupt and political and goes against what it all stands for. It’s a shame that something like that can be used as a weapon against entire communities (not just the queer community, but also in Christianity’s role in colonialism). I think of my friends’ faiths, friends who are Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, and there’s something so intrinsically beautiful about them all, Christianity included. I just wish people dropped the idea of “preaching” and instead used faith to guide themselves how to live (which is to say, at the end of the day, don’t be a dick to people)

Also finally ugh I’m sorry you had to come across that guy.

And finally finally-- I own seven pairs of shoes I think! I just counted on my hands lol. I just got rid of a bunch because I go for function more than anything else and usually in black because black goes with everything hahaha

800 followers fireside chat! | feat. questions from here as well!