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jasonbehrs · 3 years

Text

i wanna read every word, chapter 3 + epilogue

by airauralintensity (aka me, jasonbehrs!)

“Have you ever fallen in love with someone you’ve never met?” “Uh, do you mean like we’ve-been-doing-long-distance-slash-online-dating or like I’ve-been-crushing-on-the-cute-barista-at-the-library-cafe?” “Ummm, more like I’ve-read-their-poems-and-sure-they’re-very-talented-but-their-handwriting-alone-makes-me-smile.” “… That’s oddly specific.”

fandom: kpop, super junior characters: eunhyuk, ryeowook; guest appearances by the rest of sj-m and yesung ship: eunwook genre: romantic comedy themes: alternate endings, strangers to lovers, handwriting, identity reveal setting: college chapter: 3+4/4 word count: 5.8k

read it below or on ffnet, aff, wattpad

~~~

He and Ryeowook haven't hung out alone before, but he's sure this won't be awkward. Their only real link may have just been Yesung, but Hyukjae likes to think he successfully ingrained himself into that entire friend group in time. He tells himself that he and Ryeowook would have had a solo hangout at some point. Ryeowook's crush situation just expedited it.

They had agreed to meet at the quad but didn't specify anything beyond that, so Hyukjae chooses a bench with high visibility so that Ryeowook could find him easily. He crosses his legs and balances a laptop over one knee and a notebook over the other, figuring he could get some work in while waiting.

Not long after, the other plops himself right next to him and pulls out his own work without even saying hi.

Hyukjae keeps his face down as he smiles to himself. So Ryeowook's feeling just as apprehensive about this as he is.

Something about that realisation makes him brave enough to break the ice. "Ah, my favourite person under 5'2". How do you do?" he snarks without pausing his typing.

In response, Ryeowook uses a single finger to tip Hyukjae's notebook onto the ground without remorse.

"Okay, I deserved that," Hyukjae admits with a chuckle as he bends to pick the notebook off the ground and put it away. "So… did you bring one of the love notes?" he asks once it's apparent they didn't really have anything else yet to talk about aside from that.

"Of course!" Ryeowook rummages through his bag and pulls out what Hyukjae can only presume is the poem scrapbook he's heard the others talk about.

"Um, is there a problem?" Hyukjae asks as he eyes how Ryeowook holds the book to his chest with both hands, making no move to hand it over.

After a long moment, Ryeowook looks at him with hard eyes and a blush on his cheek. "You have to promise me you'll be careful with it. Like, if you want to look at one more closely, then tell me, and I'll take it out for you. Actually, you'll have to clean your hands first, too; I'm worried about oils. I'm pretty sure I have wet cloths somewhere in this bag…"

Hyukjae has heard the others call the scrapbook "a little extra." He privately agrees, but seeing the way Ryeowook is so protective over the thing makes him think perhaps Ryeowook himself is, in fact, a lot of extra.

He wisely leaves those thoughts unvoiced and instead motions for Ryeowook to hurry up. The other hesitantly hands over the book, and Hyukjae makes a big show of settling it calmly on his lap.

It would have been funnier if Ryeowook hadn't legitimately sighed with relief at his action.

Hyukjae lets it go; and with more interest than he expected from himself, he opens to the first page.

"Where did you get these?!" he yelps before he could help it.

"What? Why are you yelling? What!?"

Hyukjae can only distantly hear the other, however, as he is far more preoccupied with the absolute whiplash of recognising his own handwriting in the scrapbook. Page after page is filled with his rejected songwriting assignments, now forever immortalised thanks to Ryeowook's tender care.

Ryeowook flicks him in the forehead, and he struggles to collect himself. "Um, I mean. Um. Wow! This looks like an impressive collection," he stutters out awkwardly. "And, uh, actually! I don't think you ever told me the whole story?" he blabbers, knowing full well he actually has heard the whole story but needing to redirect Ryeowook's attention towards anything other than him right now.

So he sits there and lets Ryeowook gush over Poem Person, identifying that he is slightly uncomfortable with the knowledge that said person is actually him.

Sassy, doting, health-nut Ryeowook is wistfully waxing poetic over him, over his words, over his handwriting (a concept so baffling he actually has to stifle a chuckle in real life lest he hint to Ryeowook he is not actually paying attention).

He nods absentmindedly and offers encouraging smiles at what he hopes at the right places, but his mind is more concerned with figuring out: What the fuck is he gonna do?

~I think I must be broken somewhere. Since when did I start not welcoming even myself?~

The answer, apparently, is string Ryeowook along.

Ryeowook may have initially been hesitant about getting Hyukjae's help; but now that he has it, he has bolstered his efforts to track down and meet Poem Person. Hyukjae is astounded at his forward and creative ideas, stuff like signing up to audit the class one day or even straight up coveringthe chair in chalk so that he could easily spot the person walking around campus.

"Honestly, I need a sidekick, someone to help me pull these things off," Ryeowook explains one day while they're brainstorming over lunch.

Well, Ryeowook's brainstorming.

"I'm also kinda hoping you'll be close enough to the student to act like a wingman when we finally do meet. First impressions are everything, you know."

Hyukjae, for his part, is busy trying to maintain his poker face.

He didn't come clean to Ryeowook in the quad that day because he didn't want the awkwardness. Hyukjae was not mentally ready to hear that his brand new friend had been harbouring a crush on and had been engaging in borderline-stalker behaviour over little ol' him, and he suspects Ryeowook wouldn't have taken the news very well in the moment either.

Now though, he's just trying to maintain the status quo.

It's no secret that Ryeowook had built up an idea of what Poem Person is like in his head. What's the harm in letting him have a little crush on a figment of his imagination?

So yes, he continues to plot with Ryeowook, he continues to bother Donghae by tossing scrap assignments at him in class, he continues the whole ruse.

The harm, as Hyukjae is quick to discover, is that he grossly miscalculated the effect the lie would have on him.

It starts with a text.

Are we still on for tomorrow at 2?

yep. the student union still good?

Yep, see ya there

"Who are you texting?" Siwon asks as he plops beside Hyukjae on their apartment couch, his attention mostly trained on his own phone.

"Huh? Oh, just Ryeowook. I told you about him; I'm helping him meet this guy he has a crush on."

Siwon raises an eyebrow but doesn't look up from his phone. "Oh? You were smiling at that phone like someone agreed to go on a date with you."

Hyukjae stiffens. "I was not."

That makes Siwon look up. Hyukjae valiantly meets his gaze, but he breaks eye contact just a moment later.

"... Right."

Curiously, fear follows shortly after.

Hyukjae doesn't even notice it at first. It was too subtle compared to the overwhelming confidence he gets from being around Ryeowook. With the way the other talks about him, to him, without knowing it's him… it's a heady feeling. (Case in point: The day before a modern dance midterm, Ryeowook texted him a photo of a recent Hyukjae original along with a copious amount of heart-eye emojis, and Hyukjae felt so energised that his professor pulled him to the side after his performance and concernedly asked him point-blank if he had started taking steroids.)

Ryeowook doesn't just see the best in him. He guesses at Hyukjae's flaws and turns them into superpowers. He paints an image of Hyukjae in colours that he wasn't even aware existed. It's an instant ego boost.

It isn't long, however, until Hyukjae stops hearing musings and starts hearing expectations. Ryeowook believes in a vibrant, exciting, romantic persona; someone smart and adventurous who can enable him to be as silly as he has the potential to be.

Since when was Hyukjae any of those things?

He isn't afraid of Ryeowook's wrath when the jig is eventually up, no. Wrath he could handle; wrath he deserves. Instead, he is afraid of the disappointment, the unimpressed "Oh." that Ryeowook couldn't help but let slip once he processes the truth. Hyukjae wouldn't be able to handle seeing the light in Ryeowook's eyes—the light that used to be reserved for him even if the other didn't know it—dim.

And finally comes realisation.

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" Hyukjae asks him one evening. They got to-go meals from the dining hall and moved as far west as they could without leaving the campus entirely. The sun is due to set any minute now, and they wanted the best seats possible.

"What do you mean?" Ryeowook asks with furrowed brows still trained on the skyline.

"You've spent so much time thinking about this guy, analysing his mood and habits and whatever. You'll meet him for the first time, but it won't really be the first time for you, you know? You'll know all this stuff about him already whereas you're a complete stranger to him. That's gotta be, like, a power imbalance or something, right? That's not fair to either of you. You've mentioned before that you don't necessarily want to date Poem Person, but that's not even a good basis for being friends with him."

Ryeowook glances at him from the corner of his eye and smirks. "If Mi were here, he'd have a lot to say right now."

Hyukjae chuckles as he lets the other change the subject. "He'd actually have only one thing to say, and I don't want to hear it."

Ryeowook hums but doesn't say anything else, attention still mostly on the sun's slow descent to the horizon. Hyukjae would have liked an answer, but he gets it. He just sprung all that on the other without any preamble, and Ryeowook probably needs time to think. Hyukjae isn't entirely sure what he wanted to hear anyway.

Ryeowook doesn't speak again until the sky finally begins to bleed red, a threatening promise for the end of the day. "You have a point, of course. I'll constantly be comparing the person he is to the person I made him out to be, even when I don't mean to, but… Something tells me that won't matter as much in the long run." He chuckles, low and with disbelief. "I couldn't tell you why; but I feel like even if I told him the whole story, even if the first things I ever say to him are the questionable antics I've engaged in just to meet him, he wouldn't run away."

And he would be right, of course. Look at where Hyukjae is now.

"You're thinking too highly of him," Hyukjae says. He means it as a way to distract from the mortifying ordeal of being known, but it comes out bitter without his permission.

Ryeowook smirks. "Is that what this is about? Are you jealous? Ooooh, are you lonely?" he teases. "Don't worry, I pay back my debts. Just tell me as soon as someone catches your attention. I can't promise forever, but I can promise a first date, for sure." He winks.

There is a long moment between when the sky finally turns black and when the streetlights flicker to life, one conveniently spotlighting the pair with its glow. It mocks Hyukjae with its inevitability.

~This night blesses the day we meet. The moon is open in the sky, and the stars smile.~

"Hyung, I'm bored."

"Okay."

"Entertain me."

"In a minute, I'm reading something for class."

"What's it about?"

"The cultural impact of Black youth on the interfaces of music and body expression in early 1970s New York City."

He appreciates Ryeowook's offer to swing by and keep him company while he studies in one of the many lounges strewn about academic campus, but he'd appreciate it a lot more if Ryeowook would actually let him study.

Ryeowook blinks. "I understood all of those words individually."

Hyukjae drags a hand down his tired face. "I'm basically in the same boat, so please? I'll do whatever you wanna do as long as I can make it to the third page of this article today. I really need to participate in tomorrow's seminar or else I'll have to take a make-up quiz."

"Fiiine," Ryeowook whines, but he thankfully starts scrolling through his phone in silence.

After a few minutes of quality reading, Hyukjae hears Ryeowook rummaging around, so he languidly raises his eyes to see how the other is choosing to preoccupy himself.

He shoots up out of his seat, barely taking the time to set his laptop down properly in his haste. "What are you doing with that!"

Ryeowook looks up from where he is crouched besides Hyukjae's open bookbag, holding a notebook in his hand. "Oh, did you need this?"

"For what? No. What?" Hyukjae spouts in rapid fire, thrown-off by how Ryeowook responded to his question with one of his own.

Ryeowook's eyes light up. "Excellent! I thought you needed this for your homework," he comments as he lets himself fall backwards onto his butt. "I was just gonna read your handwriting while I waited. I can't believe I never thought to check yours out before. I've basically gone through everyone else's in the friend group."

Hyukjae could kick himself for letting such a good excuse slip right out of his hands, but the room seems to have gone in slow motion as Ryeowook proceeds to open up the notebook to a random page. Like a man possessed, Hyukjae dives straight for Ryeowook's lap, successfully knocking the notebook out of the other's grasp in the process.

…

"Hi," he says over his shoulder when the silence has gone on for too long. Ryeowook raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

Hyukjae chuckles awkwardly while he manoeuvers himself out of Ryeowook's lap with as much grace as a baby deer on ice. He quickly snatches up his notebook while Ryeowook is still prone and simply observing his movements, and then he doesn't know what to do next.

Ryeowook takes over from here, standing up calmly and striding right into Hyukjae's personal space. Despite having several centimetres on the other, Hyukjae cannot help but feel small under the other's assessing gaze. "There is clearly something in that notebook you don't want me to see."

Hyukjae eyes the room, trying to calculate his odds. "Yes," he hesitantly confirms.

Ryeowook narrows his eyes. "Is it about me?" he asks with an edge to his voice.

"No." The half-truth comes out much quicker, thankfully.

Ryeowook purses his lips then nods. He takes two steps back, and Hyukjae almost does something silly like reach for his waist to keep him nearby. "Alright, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to let you finish your homework without intruding on your privacy. In return, you'll buy me boba and bring me a notebook I can read the next time we meet."

Hyukjae sighs with relief and readily agrees to those terms.

A few days later, he confidently hands over Siwon's old notebook from their shared Psych 101 class and a medium taro boba.

Ryeowook opens up to the first page then laughs in Hyukjae's face, high and bright. "This is your notebook?" he manages to ask through his cackles. "No wonder you didn't want me seeing it. You must have known I was going to make fun of you."

"Why? Why?" Hyukjae demands, affronted. It may not have been his handwriting, but still.

"It's like your handwriting is Jekyll, and you're Hyde. I look at this, and I don't see you at all."

Hyukjae looks over Ryeowook's shoulder to see what he's working with, and he can't help but agree. Siwon's handwriting is neat, consistent, and in perfect lines straight across the page. Rich kids and their calligraphy classes, dammit.

Nevertheless, he tries to salvage the situation. "Come on, you know I'm a neat person."

Ryeowook snorts, but he nods his head in agreement. "That may be true; but if someone had to write a list of things about you, 'neat' wouldn't even make it in the top 50."

"Can you think of 50 things about me?" Hyukjae teases as he slinks back around to Ryeowook's front, effortlessly plucking the notebook out of the other's hands in the process.

Ryeowook crosses his newly freed arms in front of his chest and smirks. "Yep. 1 would be that you're a brat, and 50 would be that your feet smell."

"Yah! My shoes don't breathe!" Hyukjae whines. "I want 50 nice things," he continues above Ryeowook's snickers.

"Oof, that'll be tough. How about just 5, and you get to pick what movie we watch next?" Ryeowook haggles.

Hyukjae rolls his eyes but agrees. He'll take what he can get.

"1: You're not half-bad at impressions. 2: You like strawberry and chocolate, but only as separate flavours," Ryeowook starts, counting off on his fingers as he goes. "3: You're great at charades. 4: Everybody likes you because 5: you know exactly what to be, do, or say when the situation calls for it. You're not just flexible as a dancer, but as a person, and it's the best thing about you."

Hyukjae doesn't fight the toothy grin that stretches wide across his face. "You think so?"

Ryeowook nods very seriously, but there is an undeniable glimmer in his eyes. "Absolutely. With a lack of other suitable candidates, it's your best quality by default."

~I don't know why you keep staying with me. I lack so much for you, and I'm sorry about that.~

It would be easier to stop being in love with Ryeowook if the other didn't actually seem to value his company and insights.

There are days when they've hung out and talked about anything and everything but the song lyrics, when Ryeowook will bake Hyukjae strawberry scones and give him meaningful feedback on his choreography. They're both witty but in different ways, so they're always cracking up; and in those moments, he can't help but imagine he's already told the truth, that Ryeowook has already accepted him, and that this is what they could look like together.

But then he looks into Ryeowook's eyes and the warmth he sees there burns at a different temperature than the warmth he feels, and Hyukjae is painfully reminded that is not the case.

He can only take so much.

Despite knowing in his gut that it's the absolute wrong call to make, Hyukjae retreats. Stuck between yearning for Ryeowook yet fearing facing him and being frustrated with himself for equivocating on what to do, it's easier to just not do anything at all. He cancels more, begs off group hangouts, throws himself into his dance rehearsals. He even attempts going to the gym once just to keep his mind occupied and off of the problem.

Honestly, life could get better.

As he presses 'ignore' on the nth call he's received from Ryeowook that week, he offhandedly notices that blowing the other off feels way worse than lying in the first place. Let's see him spin that into a positive.

Hyukjae's doing great on his passive, brooding agenda until a few weeks later when he accidentally looks up from where he was perusing just as Henry enters the music library. By virtue of the youngest's classical performance degree, the two of them share the most colleagues and classes of any pair in the group.

He is honestly lucky it took so long.

He offers a stiff nod in acknowledgement and hopes that that's that, but Henry wanders over to his aisle with too much nonchalance to have not been intentional.

He doesn't leave Hyukjae in suspense for too long. "Ryeowook-hyung won't stop baking, you know."

"Huh?" Hyukjae asks dumbly, thrown completely off-guard from the unexpected comment.

"Seriously, he won't stop. You could get drunk off the stench of vanilla extract permanently in the air of the apartment."

Hyukjae realises with regret that he's never had a good opportunity to hang with the group at Ryeowook and Mi's apartment. "Oh. That's good, I guess."

"It would be better if we were allowed to eat any of it," Henry says, flicking through the records in front of him. Hyukjae almost believes it's a fake, idle action, but sometimes Henry nods and writes something down on his phone after inspecting an album.

"Yeah, it would be," Hyukjae offers at last for lack of anything better to say. Despite the stilted and tense atmosphere, he feels compelled to continue the conversation.

Henry nods again, but Hyukjae could tell that's for him. "I think he's saving it for someone that he expects to come by, but who else would come aside from any of us, you know?"

It is unclear if Henry includes Hyukjae in that 'us,' but Hyukjae doesn't dwell on it. Something much more pressing is on his mind. "What kind of stuff is he baking?" he asks, very afraid of the answer.

"He's been experimenting. Caramel chip cookies, cinnamon-lemon cupcakes, strawberry scones… But you know him. It's all low-fat, protein-enhanced flour shit; pretty sure he'd get kicked out of the nutrition program if it weren't," Henry says with a chuckle, but Hyukjae can't bring himself to laugh along.

Those all sound perfectly delicious, and something worse than vanity tells him that that's on purpose. The thought fills Hyukjae with so much more guilt that tears press against his eyes.

"Um, t-thanks, but I gotta—I gotta go," he stutters out through unmoving lips. What it is he's thanking Henry for, he has no clue; but he's far more preoccupied with exiting stage left from this scene as soon as humanly possible. "It was good to see you again," he adds as a reflex, already two steps further down but still facing Henry.

Henry raises his head from the jewel cases just as Hyukjae reaches the end of the aisle, and the slight smile he gives is so loaded with patronisation, pity, and perception that Hyukjae turns on his heel and runs.

~Longing is a beautiful pain I thought I could endure.~

After a whole class of not paying attention to a single minute—instead, wondering if maybe he should just get out with it, all of it: the deception, his feelings—Hyukjae leaves to find Ryeowook waiting right outside the door for him to exit.

"You don't normally get up this early," he comments in surprise, walking up to the other before he could help himself.

Ryeowook shrugs. "Well, I needed to talk to you, and I realised I didn't know enough about you. I don't know where you live, where you normally like to hang out; all I knew for sure is that you had class in this room at this time, so… Anyway, can we talk?"

Hyukjae's immediate instinct is to come up with an excuse, any excuse—he spent a whole class thinking about what he would do next time he faced Ryeowook but still hadn't settled on an answer—but Ryeowook reads his hesitation for what it is and makes the decision for him.

"Actually, we're going to talk whether you want to or not! Starting with: why have you been avoiding the group, avoiding me!" he yells. Hyukjae winces from Ryeowook's harsh words and high tone but can't bring himself to say or do anything more to stop the tirade. He's in no position to ask for leniency.

"I turned it over and over in my head, and I realised: I didn't even do anything! Are you mad at me because I didn't take enough time to get to know you? Are you tired of helping me? Why are you—you should have used your words and said something—whatever it was that was bothering you!—instead of just ignoring me like that!"

Hyukjae only notices that Ryeowook's volume and impassioned speech is attracting attention from other students and faculty in the hallway because he's avoiding the other's gaze, but he knows Ryeowook would be embarrassed about it later.

He hurriedly ushers them back inside Bomnal 235 despite Ryeowook's protests. The other angrily shrugs off Hyukjae's touch as soon as possible and stomps to the rear right quadrant of the room to sit, crossing his arms and legs in one fluid movement and pouting cutely.

Well, Hyukjae would think it was cute if he noticed it. His attention is instead captured by Ryeowook's choice of seating. If Ryeowook practiced the same seats code of conduct, then…

Without really thinking about it, he moves up and slides into his own seat, exactly behind Ryeowook's. He can tell the other is surprised he doesn't sit next to him, but Hyukjae focuses instead on the half-baked plan that formed in the time it took to ascend the stairs.

Ryeowook is petulantly turned towards the front, sure that he's said his piece already and waiting for Hyukjae to talk. Instead, he feels something light and crunchy hit the back of his head. "Yah!" he yelps, turning to glare at the offender, who is steadfastly scrawling something down on his notebook.

"You're doing it again. You're ignoring me instead of talking to me. If you're just gonna sit there and do homework, I'm gonna lea—YAH!" He's cut off by another bunched up piece of paper hurtling right for him, which he angrily swats away in mid-air. "What are you doing!?" he demands, but Hyukjae just throws another wad of paper at his desk instead, his aim perfectly allowing the paper to land right next to where Ryeowook's notebook would have been if he were in class... almost like he's done it dozens of times before.

Ryeowook frowns and picks up the most recent paper and smooths it open before gasping.

He would recognise this handwriting anywhere.

Unfolding my only crumpled wish You and I are in it

He quickly lifts his eyes back to Hyukjae, who refuses to meet his gaze even as he throws another wad of paper at Ryeowook's desk. Ryeowook picks up the first one that bounced off the back of his head and scrambles to find the second one which he had swatted away.

In this very short moment I'm just following my feelings

With trembling fingers, he finally opens the first one, which reads, "Didn't you say you'd recognise my handwriting anywhere?"

He looked up with cloudy eyes to see his desk slowly being overrun with scraps of paper and Hyukjae continuing to write on. Ryeowook slowly walks up to the paper pile and begins opening them one by one.

I'm sorry it turned out this way.

On each paper is a single sentence,

Honestly, I thought you were a lot of extra.

a confession, sometimes, or a timeline.

The sun set, that streetlight flicked on, and I knew it for sure.

As he reads the pages in no certain order,

You thought so highly of me, I was flattered and burdened all at once.

he literally pieces together Hyukjae's story,

What else was I supposed to do except throw them on his desk and annoy him?

from when he first realised the truth

It was so embarrassing to see all my rejected song lyrics immortalised forever by your hands.

to why he had avoided the other.

I didn't mean to hurt you, but I didn't want you to hurt me either.

As he continues reading, Ryeowook couldn't help but feel there is something missing, something that ties the whole narrative together. Alas, even after he finishes all the pieces on his desk, he couldn't figure out what.

Far past the point of anger and instead seeking to simply, finally understand, he looks to Hyukjae, who finally meets his gaze.

Without Hyukjae's constant scratching at his notebook paper, the classroom is loudly silent. He underhand tosses one final wad of paper to Ryeowook, and Ryeowook reads the intention in the action and catches it easily. He opens it up to read a final set of lyrics.

I still can't say the words Those words that make my voice run dry I love you more than anyone else

Ryeowook couldn't breathe. "You love me?" he asks with trembling lips, voice no louder than a whisper but reaching Hyukjae all the same.

Hyukjae slouches into his seat, hands outstretched and anxiously tapping his pen on the table. He keeps his head turned to the side when he nods. "I couldn't help it."

"And you lied to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Were you ever gonna tell me?'"

Hyukjae snaps into an upright position. "I wanted to!" He looks Ryeowook in the eye, trying to express as much sincerity as possible. "By god, I wanted to. But the way you talked about Poem Person… That's the guy you deserve. He wouldn't have led you on for weeks because he's a coward," he spits out.

"But he did."

"But he shouldn't have."

"But he's telling me now."

"But he wasted your time!"

"Why are you talking about yourself like that; he's you!"

"You didn't know that until five minutes ago!"

Ryeowook takes a moment, and Hyukjae forces himself to match the lowered state of tension that results. "It's not so hard to believe, now that I know the truth," the other says after a beat.

Hyukjae doesn't know how to respond to that, so he doesn't. Ryeowook rolls his eyes. "You've heard me go on and on about your impulsiveness and emotional depth and whatever." He gestures to the pile of papers in front of him. "That's what this all seems like to me."

"I can't possibly have been what you expected, what you were hoping for," Hyukjae argues, trying to force the situation into a boiling point. He just laid himself bare in front of the person he's in love with, and none of his worst-case scenarios have come to fruition yet.

"I was hoping to meet the person with the lazy H's and the perpetually rose-coloured glasses, that's it," Ryeowook maintains calmly, but Hyukjae doesn't feel calm at all. He just keeps tapping, and Ryeowook sighs. "What I expected doesn't even matter. I knew there was a real person behind those notes, someone who came with all the complexities being a person entails. All my daydreams were just that; and even if every single one of them were wrong, and for some reason I couldn't handle that disappointment, that's on me. How I reacted to finally meeting you was not your responsibility."

"Are you?"

"What?"

Here it comes. "Are you disappointed?"

"Hyukjae."

The soft tone of Ryeowook's voice makes his heart clench, and Hyukjae shuts his eyes in self-preservation.

His anxiously tapping hand is stopped later by an equally soft touch, and he looks up in shock.

He hesitates to recognise the warmth he finds in Ryeowook's kind, earnest eyes. It's different from what he's seen before, but he doesn't want to categorise it any further than that. Has he imagined this temperature so much that it doesn't look out of place?

Ryeowook can see the moment Hyukjae focuses on him again, and he brings his other hand to squeeze both of Hyukjae's in turn.

"How could I be?" he asks, and he means it.

~I'll hold your two hands and confess, I pinky promise. Thank you for coming to me.~

EPILOGUE

Mi hums to himself as he turns the key to the lock of his apartment front door, arms laden with grocery bags…

… Which he allows to drop to the floor in shock as soon as he catches sight of the couple making out on the couch.

Ryeowook and Hyukjae break apart at the noise, heavily panting and cheeks flushed. Neither of them stop staring at him, and he cannot stop staring back.

Mi has so many thoughts running through his head, like Since when has that been a thing? and I can never sit on that couch again, but the one that comes out is, "What about Poem Person?"

If possible, Ryeowook and Hyukjae's cheeks flush even further, and Mi's incredulity slowly makes way for glee as he expects their response.

The caught pair turn to each other, communicating hurriedly through eye contact and muscle twitches alone before facing Mi again.

"Um, well, long story short…" Ryeowook begins.

"It was me," Hyukjae finishes.

Mi can't help it as he begins crying real, happy tears.

The gender has finally been confirmed.

~This happiness I noticed can be our starting point.~

~~~

A/N (6.14.2021): Wow, hasn't this been a ride! Eternal thanks everyone for reading and commenting; thanks Dorcas for your support; and thanks Amy for being my sanity check. If you hadn't already noticed, SJ lyrics were abound in the fic, whether in section breaks, narration, or dialogue! Were you able to recognise all of the songs? :D

Also, now that you've read the whole story, I'd love to know: Did you notice that neither Eunhyuk nor Ryeowook ever feel guilt for their brands of dishonesty? As written, do the chapters progress in such a way that it is sensible—maybe even natural—despite the lack of it?

If you did notice, did that impact your reading experience at all? If you didn't, does knowing now change anything? And ultimately, in a story whose crux is deception, is guilt necessary for redemption?

Share your thoughts in a review, comment, PM, DM, whatever!

#super junior #super junior fanfiction #ryeowook #eunwook #eunhyuk #jaso*#iwrew

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fusionterm · 4 years

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3 Different Dance Styles You Should Try At Home

BELLY DANCE

If you're reluctant to start your tummy dancing courses at a course filled with different people you always have the option to choose to obtain video clips and DVD classes. You will find lots of those courses that to select, actually courses that concentrate around the emotional and/or curative elements of Oriental dancing if this is the location where you believe you ought to concentrate your own efforts. Belly dance is just a huge deal of pleasure as well as becoming fully a significant type of becoming needed physical exercise.

For people that observe their womanhood, there isn't any superior type of dancing to say this joy. Belly-dance has an extensive history for a party to be feminine. By used in ceremonies from the temple into being utilized to lure and seduce the unwitting tummy dancing is just a part of being a lady.

When you intend to tummy dancing, then you should see the costume a part of exactly what places the feeling or perhaps the tone. Despite the fact that you don't require all of the bells and whistles, then the overall consensus is the fact that baring your midriff places you back at their mindset that's quite acceptable for belly dancing. Because of this, it's strongly recommended that you just have on apparel that bares your tummy for example as for instance lowrise Yoga trousers and a sports bra or even any different belly-baring shirt on your own clinic periods. Additionally, this assists your educator to determine in the event that you're producing the motions accurately.

Stomach dancing is just a fashion of dancing which will not need scientists to function as in the best physical state so as to start. The truth is that the very low effect nature with this type of movement makes it a superb option for people who aren't in the best form to start with. This specific sort of dancing works that the muscles softly using the synergistic consequences of aerobic exercise and other training procedures. Additionally, it will work the gut, which will be frequently the situation region for all those that are not at the very best of contour. You also ought to discover you will fortify your spine throughout tummy dancing since you advance. This may additionally support with virtually every facet of one's health and exercise schedule. More notably for people who certainly are only a small (or perhaps a great deal ) from contour is really that the tummy dancing burns off an average of 300 calories one hour or so. Which usually means that whenever you exercise a single hour each day you're burning 2,000 calories each week per day

If you choose to partake in tummy dance courses, then Ms.! You're going to be linking an early band of females back once again to exactly what many consider would be your first of period. You also need to be in possession of a fresh hobby which is equally healthy and entertaining.

Stomach dancing has an extensive and proud record dating back into the dawn of culture. This manner of dancing has its foundation been applied as an act of worship and also an act of charm. Perhaps not consistently in spite of these as this kind of dancing has been thought by a few religions for an increase because of the fertility of recently married partners.

Oriental Dance also called tummy dance is just one of, even if maybe not the very sensuous trends of dancing. It's likewise perhaps one among the absolute most useful kinds of dancing there's health-wise. Along with this fantastic calorie-burning AFF-ect of tummy dance, you'll find additional health and fitness benefits this form of dancing is now renowned for over centuries.

IRISH STEP DANCING

That really is a fashion of dancing which only looks interesting. Whether you're seeing or engaging the enthusiasm and vitality amount is all but observable. It's just nothing short of great to be from the viewer to get these shows. It ought to be added that whilst maybe not all of the Irish stage dance demands the energy and skill that's found from the significant productions like the people I have stated earlier, there's even now a fantastic level of electricity within every kind of Irish step dance. This vitality is the thing that makes this fashion of dance really desirable.

Youthful ladies, adolescents, and people around America are finding themselves exactly what type of superb type of dancing Irish stage dance actually is. These lessons are slightly bit more tough than another design of dance may possibly be mainly because they also might require the exact measures to be manufactured based on different students while in the course. You count upon each other and ought to keep up with this new music. It's a fantastic challenge which likewise helps college students with the fashion of dancing learn how to come together along with growing and optimizing their particular Irish measure dance abilities. You will find sacred dances however, to get its many vibrant AFF-ect these dances needs to really be achieved as a member of the bigger team. It really is just a magnificent sight to behold.

Youthful and older alike have been accepted from the storm the moment it regards the kind of dancing. The audio is equally inspirational and interesting since it will be the measures along with thoughts that are accomplished with this simplicity from the actors. If you're searching to get an excellent approach to find yourself a fantastic aerobic workout, then visit whether there's just a class within your region. This really is actually a superior energy sort of dancing also which ought to be recalled however you'll find a fantastic lower body work out along with the cardiovascular added benefits. Additionally, you will burn up a fantastic lot of calories from the procedure.

For those who own a passion for energy and music afterward probably Irish step dance classes are quite a fantastic mixture for you personally and also your dance and fitness requirements. It's a gorgeous fashion of dance which isn't just enjoyable to see however additionally enjoyable to execute. You work using a bigger team and learn how to interact for the best possible consequence. Of the fashions of dancing which are enjoyed around the globe today, that really is only one of the absolute most fascinating kinds of collection dancing I have ever struck. In the event you are interested in being part of anything far bigger on your own, this really can be a significant approach to accomplish precisely that.

When you've not experienced the chance to have this dancing feeling reside you really ought to take the chance to achieve that. This fashion of dancing is similar to none you have possibly ever observed previously. It's amazing and in an identical time frame nearly inconceivably hard to make the motions that can be demanded and show a little work. The vitality included with those performances is just nothing short of excellent.

If you're searching for something a tiny new and distinct when it regards to dance, have you ever believed Irish stage dance? I am confident many of you've been aware of when maybe not witnessed shows these as"Riverdance" along with different shows which display that this stunning and one of a kind type of dancing. "Lord of the Dance" is just another case of amazing Irish measure dance nevertheless it attracts a much contemporary spin into your crowd.

JAZZ AS DANCE

Jazz dancing and music have been famous for quite some time and afterward did actually really go underground apart from in metropolitan areas like Memphis, New Orleans, Kansas City, and St. Louis at which it proved to be a significant region of the culture and history. We've noticed a reemergence with the common manner of dancing and music in late ages however with a few noteworthy musicians attracting the swing back and also big band' noise that traveled in hand with jazz as a music shape and also a fashion of dancing.

You have to know however that when it regards jazz dancing, like your music, then you can find not any definitive policies you have to follow to be able for this to become more jazz. You can find no stiff dance ways that have to be stuck to for your'jazz' impact. Jazz dancing can be mistaken as faucet dancing' due to the fact tap tunes has been regularly put to jazz audio. It's necessary however to appreciate that jazz is not confined by exploiting dancing along with other forms of dancing collapse underneath the quite sizable umbrella of jazz dancing'.

When you've seen jazz dancing courses for you personally or your own children, '' I expect you may opt to indulge. Not just is it your tunes for such a dance uplifting and excellent but additionally, the manner of dancing in and of itself is fairly enjoyable and enjoyable. You can find only a few forms of dancing which may compete as it regards allowing inventive permit, moving with the stream, and dancing to your utter delight of dance. As a creative art and as a kind of enjoyment jazz dancing and music really are shirts in my personal publication.

Even though jazz has lots of presumed arrival regions it simply only has 1 authentic residence and home would be New Orleans. Just enjoy the audio that this town is known for, New Orleans can be a town with no dad also. New Orleans was a melting pot from the truest sense of this saying earlier we had some true clue exactly what it designed for a melting pot. By the ramifications of this French, Spanish, German, English, and also, of course, the populace of former black and slaves completely free women and men, New Orleans has been the ideal location with this particular combined and blended fashion of dancing and music to both predict property.

A number of the More Prevalent jazz dances include: Black Mirror, Boogie-woogie, the Cake-walk, the Charleston, the JitterBug, the Lindy Hop, also swing dance. Every one of these varieties of dancing is apparently building a quite remarkable come back in acceptance on the course of this past 2 decades and therefore are rather intriguing to see, in addition to by that to engage in the event you have the opportunity.

For a manner of dancing, jazz has been substantially more'brazen' than loathed previously were in a few circles believed to be more independently unseemly. The polite culture had no attention in this specific type of dancing. The fantastic thing for people that enjoyed this manner of dancing is there clearly were a lot of locations at that jazz, as an application of dancing and new music, has been readily adopted. You'd to really go off the beaten trail only a little as a way to think it is for a lot it had been worth your time and hard work.

It truly isn't any surprise that jazz dancing arose while the consequence of jazz audio genre. There are not any decent dance ways to its beautiful music we've come to understand through time. Because of this something fresh and also a tiny bit off the principal course was desired as a way to conserve space and time with all the music emerging.

Whilst some men and women know the actual roots of Jazz for a music genre, much fewer men and women still know the roots of jazz for a fashion of dancing. Jazz is quite a child. Greater than this, however, jazz as dancing and music appear to own lots of mothers in spite of the simple fact they don't have a dad. I believe there are lots of impacts on the vibrant kind of dancing and music no 1 sway is remarkable in the brand new era to become looked at that the'father' or'mommy' for this thing of jazz.''

#Lifestyle

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yourhelpfulaffiliate · 4 years

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3 Ways to Make Money While You are Stuck at Home

2020 has definitely been an interesting year so far. While many people are not able to go to work or even leave their houses I thought I’d would share how I have been able to make money from home. I will lay out the 3 strategies that have worked for me in the past up to today. Two apps and one online course will be discussed. The apps are called Mercari and RageOn! and the online course is called Project 24.

Mercari

First of all I want to say I think Mercari is awesome! I have been using this app since it was in beta. There are many ways to take advantage of the Mercari app to make profit. What is Mercari? Mercari is a free app with a vibrant market place. Users can create listings of almost any physical object on this marketplace to make sales. Users can also purchase listings posted by others. Selling on Mercari We all have things laying about the house that still hold value but we do not really use or need them anymore. Mercari is a great way to find these things a new home while making some cash at the same time. Creating a Listing on Mercari Creating a listing on Mercari is pretty dang easy. All you need to do is take some nice, well lite pictures of what you are trying to sell. Then you just fill in the necessary information, set a price and shipping option and post your listing. Mercari does take 10% of the sale price on your listings so keep that in mind when setting your prices. When you make a sale using the Mercari app they will email you a shipping label to print out. Then all you have to do is package and ship the item you sold. Reselling Items On Mercari After spending some time using the Mercari app I discovered that you can find listings that are highly under priced. Whether the seller just wants to get rid of it or they do not know the value of what they are selling. This type of listing does not stay unsold for long so a good place to find them is in the recently listed search results. Often I will repost things I have bought this way on the Mercari app for a profit. I will usually use my Mercari credit to make this type of purchase. I will talk about how I get this credit in the next section. The Mercari Referral Program I have researched and used many referral programs over the years. I personally think Mercari has one of the best and well balanced referral program out there for an app. When you set up your Mercari app profile a referral link will be generated and given to you. You can share and promote this link all over the place. When someone signs up for Mercari using your link they get a $10 coupon off their first purchase using the app. After they make their first purchase you get a $10 Mercari credit. If you are at all interested in getting the Mercari app you can get it through my referral link below. Signing up through this link will give you a $10 coupon for your first purchase using Mercari. Sign up for Mercari and get $10 off your first purchase. Here's my invitation link : https://merc.li/G6bzJWb At the time I am writing this blog post I have made $266 in Mercari credit using this referral program.

RageOn!

My second recommendation for making money while you’re stuck at home is to take advantage of an app called RageOn. This strategy is well-suited for people who are creative and interested in graphic design or photography. What is RageOn? In a nutshell the rage on app allows you to create products by applying pictures to them. RageOn! prints and ships all their products leaving you to just design. I have a lot of fun using RageOn! So you take a photo or create a graphic design and apply it to the RageOn! products. When you designs sell you get a commission. I really like this app for 2 reasons. The first is it never costs you anything and you can create as many designs as you like. The second is The amount of freedom and creativity you have when creating products using the Rajon app. I’ve made clothing designs I couldn’t have made any other way. Promoting Your RageOn! Designs As a user of Rajon there are only two things you really need to focus on. The first one we’ve already talked about creating product designs. The second thing we need to focus on is promoting those designs once they’re created. RageOn makes this relatively easy with social sharing options. Creating social media account specifically for sharing your product designs is not a bad idea. If you’d like to take your promotion to the next level feel free to do that. The more you promote your products the more likely they are to sell. Well your products can be found on the radio on marketplace after they’ve been created promoting them just gives him that extra push and increases the likelihood that they will sell. The RageOn! Affiliate Program The second way you can make money using the RageOn! app is to take advantage of their affiliate program. When you create an account on RageOn! you will be given an affiliate link extension which you can add on to any RageOn! product URL and promote to earn commission for the sale of that product. I’ve made money on RageOn! promoting my products as well as other peoples products. My RageOn! Results As of the time I am writing this article I have made around $100 in sales and commissions using the RageOn! app. It is pretty cool to design products that people like and buy, at no cost to me! Whenever I have a few free minutes instead of checking social media or playing games on my phone I create product designs using the RageOn app and so far it’s worked out very well for me. If you want to sign up, shop around or just check out my RageOn profile you can do all of these through my affiliate link below. This link pays me commissions on sales made through it at no extra cost to you. https://www.rageon.com/a/users/barelycivilizedgear?aff=HIDs

Project 24

There are hundreds of online courses out there and he promised to teach you how to make money online from home. Project 24 is the most legitimate online course I have ever found. This course literally tells you what to do step-by-step to create a Niche Blog Website that generates income for years to go. This strategy is not for those wanting to make a quick buck. It requires hard work dedication and patience. This may sound daunting but the energy you put into this strategy will pay off if you follow the steps and stay dedicated. What is Project 24? Project 24 is a straight forward online course that teaches you step by step how to create a profitable niche blog website in 24 months. The creators of Project 24 have made tons of money building this type of website. They basically take you by the hand every step of the way. It is amazing! I am a member of Project 24 and I created this website following the courses instructions. I think almost anyone can do this too. 24 months is a long time to wait for a return on your efforts and investments but once a site takes off the income becomes practically passive. I really like creating content I am passionate about that helps others and makes me money. Project 24 taught me how to do just that. The Project 24 Webinar This webinar really helped me make the decision that the Project 24 course was just what I was looking for, so with no further ado here is Project 24’s Creators Jim and Ricky telling you what it is all about. https://youtu.be/9jLo89V_q3g The Project 24 Affiliate Program If you do decide to sign up for the project 24 online course one thing that me and some other students are taking advantage of is the affiliate program. While you’re going through the project 24 course you can keep people up-to-date with your progress and explain how the course is helping you. When you’re making this type of content you can also promote the project 24 course yourself. You can do this by joining the project 24 affiliate program. I do not recommend joining this affiliate program if you’re not planning on signing up for the course itself. I honestly don’t think people should try to sell things that they haven’t used and I can’t personally stand behind. That being said if you do decide to sign up for this course please do so through my affiliate link below. This affiliate link pays me commissions at no extra cost to you. https://incomeschool.com/project24/?ref=136&campaign=yourhelpfulaffiliate My Project 24 Affiliate Link

Conclusion

While we all sit around waiting for things to go back to normal it is good to stay busy. I hope this article was helpful and that you will take action on one or more of these strategies. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Feel free to share this article anywhere you see fit, thanks!

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Earn Some Good Karma Like, share and comment. This helps my little blog more than you could know and will help others find help with as well. Read the full article

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ceciliataormina-internship · 5 years

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20.03 (11.20 h) Marcus meeting (3h)

After have been emailing with Marcus once I was back from holidays, we decided to meet the 20th in the morning just for half day. The point of discussion were set around the promotion of the workshop. Following the points I included on my action plan, we went through every single one of them to discuss which might be the best method to market the workshop. The general idea it is to spread the word all over social media and institutions. Therefore this bring us to the creation of a poster to put up onto pin board and spam through the mailing list. Marcus idea is to upload the testimonials of previous clients on Facebook and Instagram first of all, to give to the public a sense of good feedback from the workshop. To do so, he wants me to select around 20 images to create a collection to use with the testimonial. The images need to show interaction, co-creation and recreational moments during the assignments. Another idea I put into the plan it is to contact institutions like the Photographers’ Gallery, UAL, LCC, Goldsmith and simile to ask for help on the marketing, pinning the flyer on the main boards of the buildings. After this big brainstorming of all the things to do, he decided to put few things in priorities, which are: -upload the testimonials on FB and IG -Emailing the mailing list and people I know from uni -Setting the Eventbrite payment method -look for 20 images for the testimonials plus random interesting images from the ones I shot during the last workshop The rest of the ideas will be saved for the future times as long as they still need to be developed better.

Task 1

I started immediately to work on the Eventbrite account, registering with Marcus’ email account. As I said before, using Eventbrite it is pretty easy and even setting the payment method it has been simple.

So one think is done!! Here is the link, with picture, description and next dates inserted:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/experiential-phototherapy-workshops-facilitated-by-psychosocial-art-practitioner-marcus-boyle-tickets-58585841830?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

Task 2

The following task it has been choosing the images for the testimonials. Marcus left me his spot on his computer to allow me to search through the images of previous workshops and do the selection myself. Those are the images I chose to attach the testimonials to:

I believe those images are nice portraits of the participants and show the right engagement with the workshop.

These are instead the images I selected to post in between the testimonials, just for promotional aims:

Task 3

Marcus and I, while I was waiting for the transfer of the chosen images, took advantage of the waiting time to analyse the pictures and to email the participants asking for their consent to upload their pictures online. The responses arrived pretty quick, so Marcus had the chance to upload the images on his website and update the description plus the portfolio, creating a space fully dedicated to his phototherapy practice. The result is nice, here is the link: https://www.marcusboyle.com/favourite-portfolios/phototherapy

Task 4

Marcus asked me to upload the images on his profile of Instagram, so I took the chance to sync it on my phone and upload the images and the text from there and to be able to have an easy access at any time. Meanwhile I was dealing with the technical side of the task, Marcus went upstairs at the computer to write down a sort of Master document for Instagram that he sent me by email at the end, to have it saved somewhere reachable. According to the Instagram researches I have done regarding the visibility of a post, the best timing to upload something it is during the weekend. Therefore I am gonna wait for it to come before posting the images. This master includes all the testimonial from participants and a promo of the next 2 workshop dates:

INSTAGRAM TEXT MASTER "The workshops are a space where I always feel safe and empowered to allow my creativity to guide my healing potential. Marcus is always very welcoming of what I bring to the workshops, and I find co-creating with other participants is always an inspiring experience." - Claude Savona

“Marcus is highly skilled at creating a safe and supportive space within which to not only push creative boundaries but also to work through challenging personal issues. My photography practice is richer for having done them, and I cannot recommend them highly enough.” – Paul Romans - PR, Photographer

“I was lucky enough to take Marcus’ one day course and really enjoyed the atmosphere of shared creativity and personal exploration. Everything was up for grabs, anything seemed possible, and I thought the group produced interesting work, shed some inhibitions, and made good new friends from a real range of different backgrounds. Highly recommended!”- Sam Anthony – TV Producer & Photographer

“Found my sense of freedom behind the camera, a truly remarkable experience.”- Daniel Tremain – Managing Director

“Marcus is a remarkable artist with a special gift for encouraging the creativity and success in others by accompanying them out of their comfort Outcome zone and into connected, co-created, outstanding work. I support his mission wholeheartedly!”- Paul Sunderland – Addictions Psychotherapist—————————————————————————- Announcing next workshop, 30th March & 27th April, Eastbourne House, Bethnal Green, E2

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/experiential-phototherapy-workshops-facilitated-by-psychosocial-art-practitioner-marcus-boyle-tickets-58590402471?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

Please get in touch for more details!

[email protected]

#connectedness

#creativity

#cocreation

#photography

#phototherapy

#5IMAG006W

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yourhelpfulaffiliate · 4 years

Text

3 Ways to Make Money While You are Stuck at Home

Mercari

RageOn!

Project 24

Conclusion

End of blog posts call to action

Earn Some Good Karma Like, share and comment. This helps my little blog more than you could know and will help others find help with as well. Read the full article

#affiliate #affiliatemarketing #blog #blogging #digitalmarketing #makemoneyonline #marketing #passiveincome #Project24 #tips #tricks

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