#this is also unedited i don't feel like editing it rn

[sqviid]

lucky - radiohead

[beeben]

hi, i was a previous victim of ultimatehater/realultimatehater, i can go message you off anon if you wish

i have a gif aesthetic side blog and in my main blog i post media edits. i posted a gifset from each hh on my main, and reblogged some of them to my aes blog bc i have more followers there.

anyways RUH sent my over 50 death threats that i decided not to acknowledge at all. i did delete them so i have no evidence. many of them felt ai generated, just generic 'your edits are ugly, no one likes you, kill yourself' messages. nothing really outside that, i didnt receive any doxxing/rape threats

anyways i DID answer one ask, and then she proceeded to claim i somehow edited the ask???? that is literally not possible, and more concerning people believed it???

BUT ALSO before ultimatehater was deleted, if you went back enough to her blog, you can see her original url was a bunch of numbers. before getting to hazbin discourse she baited scott vs the world fans, calling them pedophiles. it seems she just wants drama and rn she's making some bold statements in her new blog, that i'll be completely honest and also is just my opinion, i think she is lying.

I feel the same thing ngl.. i don't like to discredit someone's trauma but shes been copy pasting the things she's said to me and then sending them to other people unedited. I genuinely think shes a troll, and attacking random people with fandom blogs hoping to lure in and harm a child. It seems that way from the types of media she obsesses over (hazbin hotel/helluva boss, she ra) ive never heard of scot vs the world but id guess it's probably in that same category tbh. Im really not worried about her claiming to doxx people, claiming to add people to a hit list, i dont believe it. What i do worry about is children interacting with her and thinking she is legitimate. Thats what i mean by luring children. Shes goading people into responding to her and hoping they take her seriously. Children online who watch shows like hazbin hotel (most likely with unrestricted access to the Internet) are EXACTLY the type of "im more emotionally mature than my peers" type of kid that gets pushed into these harmful and frankly predatory groomer esque situations. Even if she's a troll and this is all fake, traumatizing children isnt. She's trying to perform a power play on these kids who are just beginning to understand themes like rape or abuse or racism or brutality and care about them so emotionally as children do, and trying to use it against them. Trying to hurt them

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Prepare for a bunch of questions because I love tarot and have no restraint; for the ask: the Empress, the Star, the Moon, the Sun, the Page of Cups and the Ten of Swords.

omg THANK YOU because I love tarot too so I love these questions!

03. THE EMPRESS: CREATIVITY (What do you do to feed your creativity and gain inspiration?)

I do a variety of things, but music is always a big help! Reading is a typical one, but when I read something I really love it can feed the creative well for yearsss! TV shows or movies that relate to the project in vibe also helps. Usually I have some sort of hyperfixation media related to the project, lmao, so I usually turn to that too!

17. THE STAR: HOPE (What keeps you writing/querying/editing when things seem darkest?) 

Honestly, I've been at the absolute low with my writing and what keeps me going is knowing that I don't have to go back there if I make certain changes to how I view my work. I've been able to let go of embarrassment, fear, etc, a lot more in the last couple of years, and it's done my process WONDERS. I shared a HUGE unedited, first draft excerpt of Seventh Virtue in my latest writing vlog and while I was like "lol this is embarrassing," I was able to accept the discomfort and keep going. IT'S SO FREEING!!! YAAAS write badly!!!

18. THE MOON: FEAR (What worries you most about your future writing career? What are you anticipating?) 

HAHAH I don't know if it's because I'm graduating and because I'm graduating it feels like my "career" (writing related and not writing related) needs to START, but I've been so panicked about my future writing career. It feels like I can't just keep going how I am because isn't it time to publish a novel (lmao let's ignore the fact that I am choosing NOT to publish my novels rn lmao). A couple months ago, I was half asleep and was clearly having some anxious rumination, but out of nowhere, my near-unconscious mind just went, "you don't ever have to publish anything ever again," and that just... helped so much. I've been meaning to make a poster of it and hang it by my desk! All that goes to say I think I'm most afraid of falling behind, which is dumb because I'm already quite successful??? lmaoooo falling behind where???

19. THE SUN: POSITIVITY (What is your greatest writing strength or skill?)

Oooh! I honestly think my greatest strength and skill is that I'm no longer as tethered to perfectionism. I know that's not conventional, but the absolute WONDERS moving past perfectionism has done for my writing, it beats how good I am at descriptions, etc!

32. PAGE OF CUPS: A PLEASANT SURPRISE (What was your most recent writing-related pleasant surprise?) 

Oh man, I feel like the last 2 years has been pleasant surprises! Yesterday, I randomly wrote 1k words out of nowhere and it felt like I wasn't even writing at all and I hadn't even meant to write, so that was 100% a pleasant surprise!

45. TEN OF SWORDS: THE INEVITABLE END (If your work is a series, do you know how it will end? Do you fear or look forward to eventually putting away the world and characters?) 

No idea! I'll never finish Fostered, lol. I've cried too much thinking about it and then a couple years ago I realized, why do I even need to "finish" it lmao!!! It takes so many nosedives into different genres anyways that each new "era" is like finishing something anyway! I absolutely dread never writing these characters again so I just will write them forever lmao!