#this is literally the last thing i need rn like i know bad energy attracts bad energy

[nexttothelamp]

...

[danibeanie]

your gonna remember me

Astrology observations (synastry)

the wounded healer chiron😋

-people you have chiron synastry are usually people that your never gonna forget. Wether it be a good or bad ending there is always gonna be a hidden feeling of what ifs between the 2.

Moon conjunct Chiron synastry = hidden feelings of confession we both feel something for each other but it just can’t happen. (1st BOY I REALLY liked and I just knew he liked me 2 but he was leaving for college out of state and we both knew it wasn’t gonna happen)

Mercury conjunct Chiron synastry=hurt through the topic of communication.usually didn’t care to communicate. (2nd boy that hurt me with not caring to fix things on how they went down.. all he had to do is apologize.)

Where your Chiron is also depends on how this synastry play out- for me this synastry occurs in my 9th house which rules travel and school… how this occurred for me was one person is always leaving wether it be graduating school and going their separate ways or getting a scholarship and leaving the state meaning I CANT SEE THEM😍

Saturn synastry oh boy.

-a man usually has his saturn conjuncting my planets and while it is good for long term it’s also hard if you don’t have any saturn aspects in your chart or saturn energy in general. Your gonna feel a bit trapped and they’ll probably remind you of your parents somehow lmao.

There’s always a age difference in this synastry wether it be 2 years ,4, or even 1 the Saturn person will want to commit to you and will feel the need to stick by you. Way stronger if they have Capricorn or Aquarius placements.

These people are usually karmic (Saturn ruling karma) and these people just come into your life outta nowhere 😭 mostly needed.

natal venus retrograde rant :/

-It’s so hard having this in your chart because every person you’ve ever had a bond with or romantic partnership will always affect you WAY MORE than it should. we take relationships to the extreme and it’s so easy to get disappointed from people that don’t reciprocate how much we give and give. I’ve learned that the hard way and so many call us guarded and bit cold but just know it’s cause of past hurt. LITERALLY PAST HURT 😭.

NN synastry

-NOW THIS ONE… I had my Venus conjunct a guys north node and it felt so free and easy going yet terrifying and a bit uncomfortable. The north node is what we’re trying to learn in this life and people that put planets in it usually give a lesson to learn built off of the planet. in this case I had a relationship (Venus)with NN and it didn’t last long, we both got hurt in the end but I know that this was meant to happen AS A LESSON. I felt like the best version of myself and you can just be yourself. The nn perosn had a HUGE crush on me and u can feel the pure admiration from the nn🥲

I’ve been in both sides b4 and I have a man’s Venus conjunct my nn rn and I just wanna give and give to him. His Venus falls into my 12th house where this conjunction occurs but it’s also unconditional support and It’s a bond-like no other.

The planet person and any axis points that conjunction another north node will always help you in your path. Neither will forget but the nn person will always be thankful for the planet person for pushing them to where they are now.

In conjunction synastry😀

-you know that saying opposites attract well yeah this is literally OPPOSITES ATTRACT. When you date someone you have inconjunction with *cough *cough (gemini and capricorn) it can give u a doozy. I can literally write essays about this dynamic but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you ever get into a relationship with someone that has Inconjunction with most of your planets and add this with 4th house and 8th house synastry…. Its something both of you will learn from. You’ll think back at this relationship and be like wow I dated him?!?😭

some background info I was a senior in highschool and even though I knew people I wasn’t super popular like at all lmao. this guy that was known to be a huge player and just super attractive had a huge crush on me since forever. We ended up dating and that was my 1st ever thing with anyone and let’s just say I got hurt obviously but I left. So many people questioned this relationship “she’s so nice” and “he’s so cocky” well yeah. It’s just 2 different people that are attracted to each other but just think too differently to make it work.

What makes this so strong is that we both really don’t know how this person acts. It’s like with opposition even though their opposites there’s similar traits. Inconjunction just screams going into a job you’ve never worked at and just learning everything on the spot.😭

8th house synastry

If a man’s planets fall into your 8th house just know that they want u so bad. LMAO JK no but actually they want to know everything about you and the attraction is off the charts with this one. - the boy from earlier had his sun in my 8th house and the tension between us was something I never felt b4. I felt uncomfortable and rushed. He was shining light on this relationship he wanted with me and I felt like he could see right thru me. (I have Pluto in the 8th house so I felt like my boundaries where even higher.) if you’ve never interacted with your 8th house sign your either gonna make the worst enemies of them or the bestest friends. 8th house also rules 1st when it comes to anything sexual. He was my 1st kiss

I have so much more to say but I’ll save it for another post and thank you guys for the likes on my last post!😙💘

[margaretqualleytruther]

one last taylor swift post. her current flame that was pr analyzed to death by her millenial team that has one gay dude for diversity points as soon as she felt the first stir of attraction. which def happened while she was still with that ugly british dude LOL. he probably cheated on her first but ofc she can’t let her general fans find out she’s also one bc of the constant need to always be seen as a victim and never as the predatory business savy megalomaniac she really is even though she wants to promote a bad girl image with the 1975 dude 🙄… she can’t even fart in peace without swifties analyzing the shit particles like tea leaves for who she’s currently fucking. the consequent internet meltdown by her parasitic fans which was probably one of the biggest draws to getting with milquetoast edgelord twat healy cause she for sure hates them and wants her space from the constant scrutiny even though that is quite literally what her and her team most utilized to reach the heights she has including her current career high even though she has meltdowns any time something negative is said of her due to her obscene ego. obv i’m not immune bc i like talking about her gay flings but i like all gay celeb gossip in general and also why i’m interested in her bc you dig one inch beneath her carefully constructed pr top soil and realize she would be one of those serial killer nurses if she wasn’t famous. and don’t even get me started on the dykes that STILL think she’s a lesbian, that was an acceptable thought in like 2014 maybe. massive cope to think she isn’t just bi and likes fucking dudes too instead of the every man she breathes near is in a full blown bearding situation with her like she’s an old hollywood starlet or something. even then she wishes, they had 20x the balls size than she ever will. shoutout katharine hepburn. more on her predatory ways ie the olivia rodrigo situation where she went beast mode on her for riding her coattails a little during SOUR like she didn’t do the exact same thing with tim mcgraw LOL. literally sicced her $2000 an hour or whatever tf lawyers on olivia for copyright which took a significant chunk of royalties for some of her biggest hits off of the album and then got paramore’s team to do the same 😭 and then pretended like nothing new was written in 2012 for red like it isn’t the most obvious crying over olivia blowing up and using her name a bit for promo. olivia could have gone the lorde way where she could have organically gotten closer to her and then had to have painfully extracted herself from taylor’s grip so either way it would have ended badly in between them (also she def got with lorde for a bit, parts of melodrama start clicking in place when you realize that). the most fragile ego in the game which is also why she barely ever lets other women feature and if they do they get sent directly to background vocals except phoebe bridgers but i attribute that to the bpd spell phoebe casts over pathetic people. just a constant pattern with her. katy perry, lorde, her girl squad, her former men where she surrounds herself with underlings whose energy she can feed off of till they obviously turn against her control freak ways so then she casts them off to the wolves (her fans) and also the reason she’s stuck stunting with the haim sisters. will be awaiting her and healy’s breakup for their epic public battle of personality disordered egos. i know she has more testosterone than he ever will and will try to absolutely pulverize him in the public’s eye but she’s so overexposed rn i sense another fall from grace due to it. amen 🙏

[radiovisual]

are you going to come back?

((I keep telling myself im going to, but im not sure. Im especially unhappy with how this blog was written and how it looks at the moment, bc theres a lot of things id Want to change before getting back into rp here, but I have no energy or motivation to do so 😔 my art block from last year is Still ongoing, im still deeply fixated on other fandoms, and VERY recently I had an epiphany of some kind and haven't been able to stop paying attention to the news, bc anxieties about what's happening in Gaza/the West Bank, Sudan, and Chile, and not to mention this next American presidential election, have me reassessing my priorities in life, ykwim?))

((Im still around technically, i wont be deleting this blog or anything, im just in kind of a tough spot, mentally+emotionally+physically, and that makes it hard to get reinvested in something like this.))

((There's also the factor of... feeling rather restricted in this community. It's not any particular person or group of ppls fault, people are entitled to feel however they want around fictional subjects and themes, but i know that the types of things that i like to write and rp are dark and mature, and this fandom [despite the Nature of the show itself and the topics it covers] tends to attract a lot of very aggressive, very judgemental people -- as im sure youre all aware 😂 i found some friends here, but even still, a lot of the time i know i Can't get into the kind of stuff i ACTUALLY want to write, because most of the ppl in this community would [at least, way back when,] assume that That kind of writing means I'm a bad, dangerous person who wants to engage with those themes in real life 🙃. Which isn't to say anyone is Wrong for avoiding me if darker themes trigger them, by all means PLEASE block me for your sanity if thats what you have to do!! but when most all of those Exact Themes are LITERALLY, graphically present in the show, now, it's like. Idk man whats going on! Why are you here! if sexually abusive relationships bother these fans so much, then Why are they in THIS fandom of all places instead of somewhere tangibly Safer for their sanity, yk???))

(( i don't know. Maybe im just a brat, but ive always felt a little put out by the Hazbin community online. Its extremely self policing and isolating trying to find people i can feel comfortable talk to about my ideas, so ive kind of... given up and moved on, found a nice group of Freaks to be perverted about the Avatar sequel instead lmao))

((So... idk. I guess we'll see. But im very sorry it may have been wishful thinking when i said id come back. I really, truly meant it at the time -- things just changed 💔, both in me And in the community. And maybe theyll change again, idk!but i Do know there's people in this overarching Hazbin Tumblr RP community who don't like me very much (which is Okay), and I don't want to force myself to walk on eggshells anymore -- so I'm won't💪😎))

((I adored my time here while i was active, whuch it why i wont delete it -- i go back to re read threads all the time! -- but unless there's a group of sexual weirdos developing that i could fall in with AND I can find a way to balance this with the rest of my life, im still gonna be on this indefinite hiatus 💀👍 sorry))

((Btw -- Palestinians are in desperate need of e-SIMs to keep in touch with their loved ones and to organize humanitarian aid within the Gaza strip itself -- if any of you have a few spare dollars, please consider getting involved. I know the news is very quiet rn, especially if you're in America like me, but let me make this very clear; We are. kind of sort of Already IN World War Three. Russia and China and the global south are finally starting to hold the west accountable and the west is failing a shitting its pants about it Spectacularly. The world order is literally shifting. There's not one, but SEVERAL major international conflicts brewing right now, as America is sliding into fascism at break neck speed bc Genocide Joe is finally realizing he's probably not going to get re-elected [on account of all the genocide] on TOP of finally seeing the tangible effects of climate change. South America and Australia are on FIRE. Like NEVER before.))

((Never Again is Now. We could be going over the temperature "tipping point" of the planet BY 2030. now is NOT the time to be wallowing in escapism, no matter how much we desperately need/want it. If there is EVER a time to get involved with the real world and to take a step back from the internet and high stress fandom bullshit, it is NOW. No matter what Side of these issues you stand on, EVERYONE needs to be voting, everyone needs to be paying attention.))

(( if you can't afford esims [no shame, i often can't either, money is tight everywhere], then at the very least get This website open in your tabs. It generates revenue with free Daily clicks, the proceeds of which are all sent to UN organizations -- particularly UNRWA, which is VITAL to maintain not only getting aid INTO Gaza, but also retaining Palestinians legal right to return to their land -- without UNRWA, Isreal can begin to LEGALLY, haphazardly "deport" Palestinians, which would take YEARS to reverse through future court proceedings. Do your part, it only takes a few seconds a day 💪🌱))

((Alright, thats all! Sorry if you wanted a short sweet answer, but ive actually been ruminating on all of this, so thank you for this ask, for giving me a chance to talk about it all. Im happy to see this community thriving in the wake of Season 1, even if im not joining in myself -- you all keep up the great work, and keep having fun with it ❤ let it empower you to explore the value of Charlie's message and think of ways to impliment it in your daily life And on the world at large‼))

[1d1195]

Sam the week has not been off to a good start 😀

I swear the universe is FUCKING with me bc tell me why I’m not even completely out of my sickness yet and my period comes EARLY?!? And it’s one of those really painful ones 😭 I swear I cannot catch a break like I just want to have a peaceful week 😭 and school is literally a dumpster fire rn lol

ANYWAYS

I hope you know that saying “no” is always a good step in the right direction especially since you have trouble saying it sometimes! I’m proud bc it does take a lot to say it and break that habit! Now the guilt part is something that I’m sure takes time overcome that. And I KNOW it’s hard to not feel guilty about it bc I have this problem too! So I get how sometimes it just can’t be avoided but remember that there’s a reason why you felt the need to say “no” because you need to trust yourself! And if people can’t respect that then it’s a good thing not to put in energy into those situations/people!

I’m pretty sure I’ve only fully seen the animated beauty and the beast but I forgot they did a live action one lol but I was referencing the animated one! And omg I love this sudden passion about this movie! And honestly you make good points! Never really thought about it lol and I feel like only certain guys can truly pull off having long hair bc it’s a vibe that one must know how to carry! And of course Harry is one of them like Sam die a little every time I see a pic of lhh😩 and I think Damian’s David who’s a lead singer of a band had long hair at one point and bestie when I tell you I’m DOWN BAD for that man… he’s just so attractive to me and like his tattoos… I DIE!

Anyways lol I was SURPRISED when you updated ding today! I did not expect that once again but I’m obviously NOT mad about it! Now I have so many questions after reading that part! Like I’m a bit surprised that she’s a bit more closed off and “aloof” compared to Harry but I love that twist! Especially since it’s a boxer AU typically from the ones I’ve read he’s more mysterious or closed off than the MC but I’m liking it! I wonder what’s going to happen in order for her to be like emotionally available/ready to fully be with Harry? Who hurt her? She’s definitely keeping a safe distance but like I get her! I am like that too lol ALSO it sucks that the guy from her date is still some how involved in her life :( maybe not directly but constant being asked about it can suck!

Aside from my questions I TRULY ENJOYED READING THIS PART! Sometimes I forget you write smut lol but honestly did not disappoint bestie! I’d think I simply pass away! Plus I kinda loved he was basically speechless when he was with her bc I do love reading about whipped men 🤭

Ahh I hope that your week has started off better too! I hope you’re treating yourself well! I’m sending you the best of vibes! Love you!-💜

Hi hi sorry for the long delay.

Well, at least you can blame your period and you can still be a badass bitch. I'm sorry this week was not it! I hope it's been better since we last chatted and you're feeling a lot better.

I think I just got used to being really alone and lonely so now I want time to myself (add in being an introvert) but I forget that I do have some friends and people in my life who want to hang out with me and enjoy my company (that's what I get for being a delight to be around).

I have mixed feelings about lhh (If he washed his hair like one extra time per week i would probs be foaming at the mouth but there are some GREAT moments nonetheless). I had to google Damiano David he's VERY cute I could see how the long hair on him would be heart attack inducing.

I would also forget I write smut. It's not very good I really struggle with it tbh. But it's done. I don't think I could write boxer Harry without it. I'm glad you are still enjoying! Two parts left is kinda weird to think about I hope I can pull off everything I have planned 😉

I'm having an okay week. Excessively busy. Tomorrow should be relaxing but then Tuesday will be another long day 😅 Oh well.

love you!

xoxo

[littlx-songbxrd]

Ok I meant to answer you're question about what I thought of the show ages ago but I forgot.

I LOVED IT OMGGGG! I got so many kitty vibes from Wilhelm and Simon! The touching! The softness! It's those vibes exactly! I want that energy in TWP.

COMRADE SIMON!! We stan! That speech he made at the very beginning about the differences in attitudes towards "tax evasion" vs. "Welfare fraud." Legend behavior.

Sara!!!! My girl!!!!!! An autistic/adhd character PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS!!!! THIS IS SO HUGE!!! I would die for my problematic queen. I made an entire post on her but the gist is, I get where she's coming from and understand why she feels the way she feels but dear God girl make better choices and stay the hell away from August.

Speaking of.... I wanna run August over several times. Vroom vroom motherfucker. The fact that he

- filmed MINORS HAVING SEX AND TGE POSTED IT ONLINE

-kissed Sara behind Felice's back when they were still dating WITHOUT HER CONSENT BTW

- Wanted to blame Simon for the drugs because he knew it would be easy because Simon's family is lower class and doesnt have the same social standing as one of the "members of the society"

- Also it didn't escape my notice that the cult like faternety type group with all the rich, mainly white boys is called The Society. This shows commentary on class is vv interesting. Especially the little things like two girls just randomly advocating for THE DEATH PENALTY. The rich people audacity.

-Anyways back to August, when he tried to excuse his actions with Wilhelm and get all teary like no bitch you can't manipulate your way out of this one. And again with Sara! When he said "Wilhelm has everything" I wanted to scream! Like he's fucking closeted and clearly suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety you moron.

-Anyways!! I also think that Wilhem might be autistic because he just feels autistic. Like the vibes are there.

- The girl group is so sweet? And to have the popular girl be a Black girl who isn't "stereotypically attractive" with a more medium sized body and bad acne. As someone who has really bad skin I needed that. Felice is kinda awesome imo.

Let me see what else??

-Simon and his mom speaking Spanish consistently throughout the show. It sounded pretty natural to me? But I'm not a native speaker. (Or even fluent honestly lol.)

- Simon and Wilhelm are honestly so adorable and in love and it made my heart ache. (I am so touch starved I swear..)

-My only main beef is the outing plotline and the show using an outdated medical term for Sara, aspergers. It's literally just autism. Also it's kind of offensive because Hans Asperger was a n*zi who literally killed autistic children because they weren't useful to capitalism. SOOOO yeah.

As for the outing plotline, I feel like the cishets have like three plotlines that they use for queer stories. Outing/coming out, one of them dies, or one if them bullies the other until they both fall in love. It's tired.

But overall I really loved it.

HI SORRY I HADNT REPLIED

I wanted to correctly talk to you about this series so I logged in through my computer to make it easier for me :D

LOOK AT THIS POINT IVE RELATED THEM TO LITERALLY EVERY COMFORT SHIP I HAVE LIKE. I've compared this to kitty, I've compared this to Thomastair, I've compared this to my friends to ocs who she has obsessed me with (youd actually like them if you liked this tbh) IVE COMPARED ME TO MY OCS

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST LOVE THEM

IF KITTY DOESNT HAVE THIS ENERGY IN TWP WHAT WAS THE POINT

what was the point cc??

S I M O N

OH GOD WHEN HE SAID THAT I WENT OMG YEAH

new favorite character

Great

SHES PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS?? Sorry I hadn't known! Haven't actually gotten to obsessively look at the cast I've been trying to get over the last episode BUT THATS SO COOL. SARA IS AMAZING AND I ADORE HER. I'll read your post after this! But of course STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AUGUST GIRL PLEASE

Tbh I understood where she was coming from with everything with Simons image falling apart and her having to suffer when she had just started having friends , just after finding he had been lying to her. But love, AUGUST?

A U G U S T ???

WHO JUST FOUND OUT OUTED YOUR BROTHER

Also random and stealing this from @marzzinaa i totally hc Sara as a demi girl for some reason

Im kinda sad we didnt see her speak spanish as much we did simon :(

But oh well I LOVE HER AND YEAH STAY AWAY FROM AUGUST GOD

FAE WE RUN HIM OVER TOGETHER BROOM BROOM

You already said it all, I just agree

Ok I'll bring a machete you bring whatever you wish and we kill him sound good?

ALSO YEAH I TOTALLY NOTICED HOW THE ECONOMIC DINAMICS CAME INTO PLAY AND HOW IT BASICALLY LET YOU KNOW HOW THE PRIVILEGED ELITES COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING

meanwhile they wanted to pass off to Simon who came from a lower class family the blame

Also I'd like to mention how that would also play into the stereotype latinos are all drug dealers

Which I love how they didnt make his dead beat alcoholic man the latino parent, when I first read the description I thought they might do that, but im so glad they didnt

I think it might have been a comentary idk i liked that they DIDNT make the poc parent the dead beat

THE FRIEND GROUP WAS SO COOL AND I LOVED ALL OF THEM AND YES FELICE WAS JUST <3

I love how they didnt make her stereotypically perfect AND YES MID SIZED REP WAS AMAZING TO SEE

Also im so glad you got to see that represented!!

So I am a native speaker and him talking to his mom MADE ME CRY

it was WONDERFUL I WANT MORE OF IT

pls most her phrases reminded me to my own mom

Autistic wilhelm you say?? omg tell me more (if you want)

Oh thats awful, well I'll just refer to Sara as autistic and hope the showrunners fix that next season because if they dont-

Yikes

Oh yeah, thats valid critisism. But in my opinion they actually wrote it pretty well so I wont really be complaining about an overall media problem with queer stories rn. If so I'll be here all day. But yeah its an overall problem but it wasnt done bad in my opinion so!

I'll shut up, for now

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME PLS ITS MY OBSESSION NOW IM GONNA BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT ALL MONTH

[getsojaded]

chemistry || calum hood

word count: 3.8k+

warnings: mentions of weed, swear words, mention of injury, food & the slightest bit of sex talk

a/n: hey twt moots ;)) anyways, this is inspired by this post! i hope u all enjoy <3

-

It was about 11 pm, and I had just finished taking an unnecessarily large amount of notes for chemistry class. With a sore, shaky hand and a vision that was starting to go blurry, I had finally finished ten pages. Who knew that there was so much information about 5 organic compounds?

I yawned in my seat, stretching my arms out and removing my glasses. I was more than thankful that I can call it a night, and walked towards my bathroom to get ready for bed, which took a good 30 minutes. It usually doesn’t take me that long, but fuck, I was exhausted this whole day. After all my skincare was completed, I walked back to my bedroom and hopped into my bed, prepared for a well deserved rest. After slouching for a good three and a half hours, comforter and pillows had never felt so good against my body. 

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a loud ding! from my phone and I opened my heavy eyes, which immediately annoyed me. I ignored the first one and tried to go back to sleep, but one ding turned into six and I couldn’t take it anymore. I angrily ripped the covers off my body, sitting up right after reaching for my phone on the nightstand beside my bed.

6 New Text Messages from: calum hood

hey wyd rn

can you do me a favour

i need your help

im at this party right now and i’m about to get high as fuck but i forgot about our homework for tomorrow and i was wondering if you could do them for me

you don’t even need to make them look pretty like how you do it just take down the important shit

please

“What the fuck?” I whsipered to myself as I looked at my phone. “Who does this bitch think he is?”

to: calum hood

are you fucking serious right now

from: calum hood

please i’m really sorry LOL i completely forgot about it

i know your smarty pants finished it the second you got home please

i’ll literally buy you starbucks tomorrow morning

As much as I hated to admit it, his last text message kind of convinced me. I was a sucker for coffee, and could really stop spending money on it every morning. But was I really about to lose some more sleep just to do the party boy’s notes? I barely know this kid anyways. How’d this guy even get into college? 

to: calum hood

is it gonna be a venti

from: calum hood:

if that’s what you want, sure

I knew I was going to regret this decision, but I threw on my glasses and put my hair up once again, walking towards my desk. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I sighed out, opening my laptop and gathering my supplies together. I unlocked my phone, seeing that the time was 12 am. Am I doing this for coffee or am I doing this because he’s attractive and I couldn’t really say no to him? I groaned and leaned my head on my desk, texting him back.

to: calum hood

i hate you so much

get me a venti iced white mocha no whip and an extra espresso shot

actually no make that two extra espresso shots cause bc of your dumbass im staying up 

from: calum hood

i gotchu angel

thank you so much, see you tomorrow :)

“Fuck off with the petname and the smiley face,” I angrily cursed at my phone, picking up my pencil and beginning to write another ten pages of notes. 

“I hate this bitch,” I said, throwing my pencil onto my desk and slamming my laptop shut. The time was now 3:45 am and tired was an understatement for me. I crawled into bed, falling asleep almost immediatly, hoping that these 5 hours of sleep will give me enough energy to get through class tomorrow.

-

“You have got to be fucking joking me,” I mumbled, reaching over for my phone to turn off the alarm. I was definitely not a morning person, and the fact that I didn’t get at least 7 hours of sleep meant that I was not going to be in a good mood today.

I slowly crawled out of bed and began trudging towards my bathroom, seeing I had gotten a text meesage from the man himself. I rolled my eyes seeing his name pop up, opening the conversation between him and I.

from: calum hood

goodmorning!

to: calum hood

fuck off

I set my phone aside, getting ready for bed in the slowest way possible. I honestly could care less about what I looked like today, so I decided on a hoodie and sweatpants. I went back into my room and packed my bag with everything I needed, including Calum’s stupid study notes. I threw it over my shoulder, putting on my shoes and walking out the front door, into my car. Thankfully my college was not too far from my apartment, so it didn’t matter if I was running a couple of minutes late.

Parking my car and walking towards class, more and more annoyance filled my body, hoping that nobody would say a word to me, or even better, look in my direction. As I walked into the classroom, I walked towards the empty seats in the very back, choosing the one closest to the wall. I got settled into my seat, leaning the side of my head against the wall, hoping that I’d get the tiniest bit of extra rest.

“The last text message you sent to me wasn’t very nice.” I heard a voice beside me say. I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing the stupid Calum Hood. He was holding two cups of coffee - one for me, and one for him I’m assuming - and was wearing a maroon hoodie, which he actually looked really good in.

“I don’t think you deserve to have a nice goodmorning text, because you are the reason I’m in a pissy mood today, thank you very much.” I responded, taking my coffee from his hand and placing it on my desk. I reached into my bag and took the study notes I wrote for him, slapping it onto the desk beside me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as our professor began to speak up, indicating that class had begun. “What can I do in order for you not to be mad at me?” I turned to look at him. He had the biggest pouty face I had ever seen, which was absolutely adorable. But I’d never tell him that.

“Just shut up.” I sighed, turning back towards the board, opening my notebook and beginning to take notes. 

Not even ten minutes later, a green sticky note caught my eye as I was writing. My eyes gazed towards the sticky note, scoffing at what was written on it.

Pls forgive me :(

I turned towards Calum, who was currently well focused on the board in front of us. I lightly chuckled, knowing he was more than pretending to actually pay attention in this class.

I thought I told you to shut up, I wrote underneath his writing and stuck it back onto his desk, and continued from where I left off. I got maybe 5 words in before I saw the neon green appear back onto my desk. I can’t shut up if I’m not talking.

I rolled my eyes before crumbling the paper in my hand, looking at Calum once again. “You’re distracting me. What do you want?” I asked him, the brunette boy turning his head to me once again. 

“For you not to be mad at me.” He responded. “What can I do for you to at least smile at me? Besides telling me to shut up.” 

I stared at him with the bitchiest face I could put on, then rolled my eyes and began to take down more notes in my book. First, he makes me write ten pages for him and now he’s distracting me in class. Can he leave me alone for at least five minutes? 

“And now you’re not gonna talk to me. Fine, be that way.” He grunted. The two of went back to what to we were doing for the remainder of class.

-

“That’s all for today folks, I hope you have a good rest of your day and don’t forget to read pages thirty to thirty-five and finish questions one to twenty-seven.” Our professor said to all of the class, which resulted in me grabbing my bag and standing up immediately, wanting nothing more than to just get the fuck out of this place.

Please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me-

“Hey wait,” Calum said and grabbed my hand. 

Fuck

“Yes?” I asked him, turning my body towards him as he let go of my hand. 

“What’re you doing the rest of the day?” 

“Nothing, why..?”

I saw that Calum had the cheekiest grin on his face after I gave him my answer. “As an apology for making you write down my notes, thank you very much by the way, along with making you angry this whole morning, how about we go get breakfast on me, and we can do our homework together, except I will do all the work, and you just copy my answers? How does that sound?”

I thought about it. One part of me just wanted to flip him off, go back home and get the sleep I missed out on last night. The other part of me was actually kind of down for that idea. Free food, free homework answers and I get to hang out with pretty boy? I wasn’t really losing anything here, huh? 

“I mean, I would say yes, but I took my car here and also I’m dressed terribly right now, the last thing I need is for more people to see me looking like this..” I trailed off, looking down at my current outfit and laughing lightly. “Babe, you don’t even look bad whatsoever right now. However, if you insist, you can go home and change and I can come get you when you’re ready. Is that a plan?” He asked in response. First angel, now babe? What is this guy doing?

“I mean.. I could do that...but-” “Pleeaaasee?” Calum cut me off, pressing his hands together, acting as if he was praying. 

“Ugh, fine, I’ll go with you! I’ll go home and get ready, and I’ll text you when I’m done.” I responded as the both of us walked out of the classroom, towards the parking lot. 

“Pinky promise you won’t cancel on me last minute?” Calum asked, extending his arm and putting his pinky in front of me as we reached my car. I hadn’t even noticed that he walked me to my car, which honestly made my heart flutter when I realized. 

“Are you kidding me?” I laughed lightly, taking my pinky and sticking it out with his, interlocking it. “Pinky promises mean everything, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” He responded, winking at me then walking away. Getting into my car, I hit my steering wheel, squealing while I repeatedly hit my head against my wheel. “Fuckin’ angel, babe and sweetheart?! What’s next?” I asked myself, driving back to my place to get ready for this little study.. session? Hang out? Date? 

I never noticed how nervous I was to hang out with Calum until four different outfits were placed on my bed, with no ability to choose which one looked best. “Fuck, these are all terrible.” I groaned, flopping onto my bed and closing my eyes. I was interrupted by my phone ringing, seeing that Calum was calling.

“I know you pinky promised that you wouldn’t cancel on me, but angel what is taking so long?” He asked, laughing into his question. “I’m so sorry,” I groaned, getting back up and looking at the outfits I planned on my bed. “I’m having a little wardrobe crisis. I have zero idea what to wear.”

“You could’ve showed up in the hoodie and sweatpants and I’d still find you gorgeous,” He responded, making my heart flutter for what felt like the hundreth time today. This man throws small compliments left and right and it’s kind of driving me crazy. “But lemme see what you got planned out. I’ll make it easier for you.” I responded with an okay, quickly snapping a photo of the clothes that were currently on my bed. 

“Okay first off, none of these are bad at all. I think you could’ve chose any of these and rocked all of ‘em. Second, little shirt big pants is always the way to go. I say the second one.” He told me, choosing a white long sleeved shirt and the baggiest light wash jeans I had in my closet. It might’ve been basic, but Calum was right - you really can’t go wrong with a little shirt big pants combination. 

“Okay, thank you.” I sighed in relief, taking the clothes into my hands and walking into the washroom to change. “You can come now, I’ll text you my address. I’ll probably be done by the time you get here.” 

“Now was that so hard?” He asked in response, causing the both of us to laugh. “I’ll see you in a bit. Bye bye!” 

“Bye Calum, see you later.” And with that the call ended. I quickly changed into my clothes, put my laptop in my bag - along with everything else I needed - and slipped my shoes on. Once I finished doing so, I heard a loud honk outside, indicating that he was outside. 

Walking out of my house I saw Calum exiting his seat, walking over to the other side and opening the door for me. “Wow, what a gentleman.” I laughed as he closed my door and got into the drivers’ side once again. “You look great.” He told me, his eyes focused on my outfit. “All thanks to you.” I said nervously, as he started the car. “Where are we going again?” I asked him. 

“You can never go wrong with IHOP,”  He said proudly, with a wide grin on his face. “How’d you know I loved going there?” I asked him, gaining a chuckle from him in response. “Not sure if you knew this, but I’m a mindreader.” He joked, causing me to roll my eyes and laugh in response. 

Arriving at the place and ordering our food, Calum and I began to have a little conversation. It started off with an are you still mad at me? which resulted into talks about other classes, finals and parties. 

“You’re telling me you’ve never been to a party?” He asked in shock, me shaking my head as I took a sip of the water that was given to me. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been in college for what, two years, and you’ve never been to one?!”

“Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, I go to school to learn and not to party. I don’t ask people to take ten pages of notes for me so I could blaze up, unlike somebody I know,” I responded, Calum looking at me in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just called me out like that. I said I was sorry!” 

“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re making up for it with free food and free homework answers, so I decided to get over it.” I responded, laughing. “Also, when are we gonna start doing the questions?” I asked as the waiter came with both of our plates of food, thanking them as we began to eat. 

“I mean, we could go back to my place and work on it, if that’s alright with you.” Calum said, his mouth full of pancakes. “Is that your way of trying to get in my pants?” I asked jokingly. 

“You’re a fiesty one aren’t you?” He asked, with a simple nod from me in response. “Well to answer your question, no that is not my way of doing such a thing, I’d be much more smooth about it.” 

“Oh, so you think you’re slick or something?” “Nah babe, I know I’m slick.” There’s the cocky party boy that I was much more familiar with. I rolled my eyes in response.

“I’m gonna ignore what you just said.. Anyways, I am fine with working on it at your place.” I told him, getting a nod in response. Throughout the whole breakfast, we got to know each other quite well. I learned that he played soccer in highschool, but due to a torn ACL he had to quit. But because of that, he got into music and started playing the guitar. I told him that if there’s enough free time when we finished, he should play me something. He happily agreed to it, saying that I will fall in love with him after I hear his singing. I just roll my eyes at his cocky compliments about himself. 

I also got to hear his totally wild college parties that he goes to, telling me about this one time one of his friends’ houses got shut down due to the various noise complaints from neighbours down the block. “you should come join me in one”, He offers, with a “fuck no” in response from me. 

“C’mon, they’re not that bad. They’re actually really fun, and everybody’s always so nice.” 

“I literally can’t tell you the last time I got high, and the last time I got drunk it was not pretty, I’m retired from that shit.” I said, as he paid for our food and began walking back to his car.

“Oh, so you used to be rowdy?” He asked, the two of us laughing in unison. “High school me was a different story, we don’t talk about that.” I responded. “The things I would do to see that side of you. You gotta go to at least one before you get outta this place. They take a lot of stress off your shoulders for the night.” He told me as we walked towards the front door to his place, which made me laugh at the fact that he tried to make parties seem like a really good thing. A simple Maybe, was all I responded with as we got settled into his apartment, which was fairly clean to my surprise. 

We were currently sitting across each other at his dining table, the both of us reading over the textbook and him answering the questions after every section. He worked effeciently, which also took me by surprise. I underestimated this guy a lot, didn’t I?

A good two hours later, Calum had finished all the questions for homework and I had finished copying them down, thanking him for doing such a thing.

“It’s no problem. I had no idea that the notes were ten fucking pages long, you deserve a break after that- wait, you wear glasses?” He asked me, analyzing them.

“Yeah, only at home though. I don’t really like how they look on me,” I replied, taking them off and rubbing my eyes. He took them in his hands and put them back on me, smiling. “They look really cute on you, I like them.” He said, causing me to blush. “What’re you so flirty for?” I asked. Keep these compliments up and I might just fall in love with you before you even sing, I thought to myself.

“Well, with somebody as pretty as you, I gotta slip in a flirty remark every chance I get, eh?” He smirked, taking my hand, and taking the both of upstairs. “Don’t take this the wrong way, my guitars in my room.” He reassured me as we walked inside his room. He took the guitar from the side of his room, and sat on the edge of his bed, gesturing me to sit down next to him.

“Ready to fall in love with me?”

“Try me, Hood.” 

He chuckled, playing the intro to Sam Smith’s Leave Your Lover. “Holy shit, I love this song,” I whispered, watching his hands strum the guitar.

He began to sing, immediately amazed by his voice. It was so soft and raspy, I literally could listen to it all day. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder. He laughed softly when he noticed, continuing on with the song. 

He finished playing the outro, which caused me to open my eyes and look up at him. “So, how was that?” 

“It was beautiful, your voice is so pretty.” I responded, smiling at him. “You should drop outta this whole college thing and just become famous.”

“Oh man I wish, but I think it’s too late for that.” He told me, now leaning on my shoulder, which made me want to scream and kiss him. “Did you fall in love with me yet?”

I patted his cheek with my hand lightly. “Not yet Cal, not yet. Stil kinda angry about that whole ten pages of notes thing.” 

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“Nah.”

He laughed, then took my hand and intertwined it with his, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. “What if I told you I’d be down to do this again, minus the whole ‘let me do this for you today as an apology’ thing?” He questioned, lifting his head from my shoulder and looking at me.

“What do you mean, ‘this again’?”

“I mean picking you up with a coffee before class, bothering you the whole time, getting breakfast with you afterwards, studying together, and then playing a song for you once we get too lazy to finish our assignments.” He replied with a soft smile that made my heart warm and my cheeks red.

“And what if I told you that I’d be down to do those things aswell?” 

“Well then my love, I will pick you up on Wednesday at 8:15 with a venti iced white mocha with only one extra shot of espresso, because I won’t keep you up to write more notes. After class, I’ll take us to any place you wanna go. Denny’s? IHOP? Waffle House? You name it. Then, we can go back to my place, study our asses off and then I can play you as many songs as you’d like. How does that sound?” He offered, the biggest smile appearing on my face.

“That sounds perfect.”

“Now if we’re going to be doing this... does this mean I can finally take you to a damn party?”

“Fuck off, Hood.”

[yehet-me-up]

*busts through the door like I'm the Kool-Aid man* BONJOUR FUCKERS I'M BACK!!! It is I, the Theatrical Gay Anon™! I hope you're ready to endure my endless babbling for a bit cuz I've got lots to say holy shit. Consider this part 1 of like, 1000 cuz I think Tumblr got rid of the submissions feature. I apologize in advance for the spam hehe.

Okay, with that out of the way. Ms. Yehet-Me-Up, may I call you Sarah? Sarah, what the fuck!? I can't even rn. I I give you a simple suggestion, no expectations behind it. I say "Hey, don't you think it'd be cool if Zitao was in the Exodus Mall universe?" to which you said "Yeah, that'd be neat, I might do that. Perhaps make him work at an Irish pub or something" and then I flip out with gratitude and excitement thinking you're gonna do like, a DRABBLE. 500 words at MOST -Theatrical Gay Anon

Imagine my SHOCK, my STUPEFACTION, upon realizing that you wrote OVER TEN THOUSAND WORDS about Huang Zitao aka the wind beneath my wings, the rain to my drought, the corny joke to my Junmyeon. And not only that! But you did this A MONTH AGO. I could've been reading this for so long and I had no idea! How foolish am I? I can't believe you wrote all of this based off of a silly little suggestion I made. I feel like bowing over how not worthy I am Wayne's World style -Theatrical Gay Anon

NOW IN REGARDS TO THE CONTENT OF THIS MASTERPIECE OH MY GOD WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN!? I am floored by your preeminence. First things first, the title? Perfect. Full disclosure, I suck at titles. I've been writing for over a decade now and I'm still shit with titles. It's so hard to come up with just a few words to encapsulate everything you wrote but you do it SO WELL. The moodboard? Amazing. I've always loved that picture of Zitao and it fits so well with the pub setting -Theatrical Gay Anon

I'm afraid you've written "Fractions of Tomorrow" so well that I don't see there being a need for anyone to write anything else...ever. Stories? CANCELED. Poetry? CANCELED. Biographies? CANCELED. It's all over folks. Sarah has written The Best Thing Ever. We've peaked as a society. After I finish writing these asks I'm gonna become a hermit in the woods and make friends with all of the woodland creatures that inhabit it. -Theatrical Gay Anon

But seriously though, I love absolutely everything about this story. As a Zitao fan, I'm used to getting breadcrumbs. Not a lot of ppl write fics about him. I can count on one hand how many long fics of his you can find on Tumblr. But THIS?? This was no breadcrumb, this was a whole fucking bakery. And it all appeals to me so much oh my god? The sappiness of it all, the flowery prose, the rebellious rejection of cynicism, it's all so beautiful I want to marry it. -Theatrical Gay Anon

If I discussed all of the sentences in this fic that made me giggle with joy and kick my feet around I'd be here all day so keep in mind this is just a FRACTION of the ones I loved but I couldn't go without mentioning at least some of them so here we go. "It’s not his first time here, but it’s his first time paying attention" SHUT UP this line is go good it's so simple yet so nuanced I adore it. Seriously, why hasn't anyone hired you to write a screenplay? -Theatrical Gay Anon

"He wonders if you ironed the collar of your shirt to be that precise or if you simply move through the world without acquiring any wrinkles" God, this line is so CUTE it's DISGUSTING he's fond of the reader's un-wrinkled clothes that's such a specific thing to like and is totally the type of thing I've done with the ppl I've crushed on throughout my life. -Theatrical Gay Anon

"‘Zitao,’ he says finally. ‘Cute.’ You say" this is such a little thing but I love that you included his full name in this. I love his full name so much it sounds really pretty. Whenever I hear him refer to himself as "Huang Zitao" in interviews my heart soars. Hearing him speak Mandarin in general is a delight as well. It's an audibly gorgeous language and any racist who says otherwise can EAT MY ENTIRE ASS -Theatrical Gay Anon

"For someone who’s been in love for as long as you can remember she fights awfully hard against Baekhyun’s romantic nature" DEAR GOD I LOVE THESE TWO! I love these movie loving lovesick fools. I love that everyone in the world knows they love each other except them. I love seeing bits and pieces of their story throughout this written universe. I can't wait to see it all come together in Baekhyun's Exodus Mall fic. It's gonna be GLORIOUS -Theatrical Gay Anon

Also! I know you enjoyed my song recs that I thought fit perfectly with All Our Broken Places so here are some for when the Baek x Hitchcock fic drops. I know it's not done yet but I just *know* what it's gonna be like I can feel it in my bones. "Sidekick" by Walk the Moon and "Tongue Tied" by Grouplove. As for Fractions of Tomorrow I knew right away what songs I'd pick. "Dreams" by The Cranberries, "Jumpstarted" by Jukebox the Ghost and "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey -Theatrical Gay Anon

Gosh, this fic filled me with so much energy and joy I feel like a toddler on caffeine. But I really should sleep now though. It's gotten so late that I can see the sunrise peaking up sdksdksl. I'll see ya soon! I will be spamming you with more compliments about this fic once I wake up though! - Theatrical Gay Anon

Hi! I'm back. Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about some of my favorite lines from the story. "‘Hey man, how’s it going?’ Baekhyun reaches out and does a complex handshake with the man before you. ‘Oh, you know. Just working at the salt mines,’ Tao says with a laugh." I LOVE that you made Baek the one Zitao was close with. I miss the beef brothers so much. I'll never forgive SM for what they did to OT12. They were all such good friends 😔 -Theatrical Gay Anon

"‘I’m not sure.’ For a flash Tao’s eyes linger on you once more. ‘I think it would depend on the person.’ And then the bastard goes and winks at you." GOD, HE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! HE'S SUCH A SHAMELESS FLIRT I HATE HIM *narrator voice* This was of course a huge a lie, he in fact loved Zitao immensely -Theatrical Gay Anon

"‘Sweetheart, I’m everyone’s type.’" You've captured Zitao's unlimited confidence so well and that makes me really happy. It's one of my favorite things about him. The man truly loves himself and I think that's awesome -Theatrical Gay Anon

"Tao looks at you through his lashes, bending close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips when he speaks. ‘Words are just the appetizer, darling. I prefer to have an entire feast.’ 'Any other questions or can I grab your orders?’" ASDKDSDSL SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA SAY THAT PANTY DROPPER LINE AND GO BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL ZITAO???? HUH??? IS THAT WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO??? -Theatrical Gay Anon

"‘Oh, nothing.’ He looks like the cat that caught the canary. ‘I just love being right.’" Something I love about EXO fic writers (myself included lol) is that despite all of the different ways they'll write the other members, there is one member who is always written the same and that's Baekhyun. He will always be written as a cheeky little shit cuz he *is* a cheeky little shit. That's just who he is. Messing with ppl is a favorite past time of his. -Theatrical Gay Anon

"'So, love, huh? There’s not some girlfriend or boyfriend of yours waiting for you at home?’" Thank you for not being heteronormative with the "are you dating someone?" convo. I know it might not seem like much but I really appreciate it. -Theatrical Gay Anon

"The beginning of love is always a lightning bolt. If that’s all it ever is you never have to deal with being knocked on your ass by the resulting thunderstorm" OOF, this one got me. So very true. The beginning of love is so scary! -Theatrical Gay Anon

"I could argue that anarchy still is love. Love of your beliefs and love of a person or a place or a thing so much that you’re willing to fight for it" OKAY BUT PASSIONATE LEATHER JACKET WEARING ANARCHIST ZITAO IN A ROCK BAND IS SUCH AN ATTRACTIVE CONCEPT!!! There's nothing sexier than a bad boi that will hate capitalism with you! He'd probably be the one to give ppl rides to protests and stuff I LOVE IT -Theatrical Gay Anon

"If we say love is a feeling, who’s to say that we aren’t in love? If we decide it’s an action then which one is it? A kiss or a commitment or - maybe it’s nothing more complicated than putting words to the way I feel when you look at me?" Listen I don't mean to be dramatic or anything (wait, who am I kidding? I'm literally the Theatrical Gay Anon being dramatic is like my Thing) but if a guy ever said that to me my trans boi pussy would be open for business IMMEDIATELY

Alright, so, uh Final Thoughts. This may be my new favorite work of yours, and no it's not just cuz it's got my ultimate bias in it lmao. This year has been so shitty and it's made my depression + anxiety reach the highest possible levels but reading this, this love story filled with hope and certainty despite not knowing what the future will hold for them, made this year seem easier to cope with. Thank you so much for making this, it means the world to me. -Theatrical Gay Anon

ALRIGHT, LAST ASK AND THEN I'LL SHUT UP I PROMISE but I personally headcanon that Double Shot + Zitao stayed together till the very end. They didn't get married cuz they hate formalities but they got matching tattoos and even when they're old and grey you can still them clear as day on their wrists. When they're asked how they met no one believes their answer lol. And when Double Shot died of old age before Zitao he would sing her favorite song by her grave every Saturday -Theatrical Gay Anon

OKAY SO I know I said I was done and I know I've already sent in like, 30 bajillion asks but I'm curious does Yifan or Luhan also work at the Irish pub?? Or do they work somewhere else in the mall? Inquiring minds want to know -Theatrical Gay Anon

When I tell you this made my entire month (when you sent it weeks ago, I’ve been hanging onto these because they seriously bring me SO much joy holy crap) I am not remotely kidding j;oaisjdflkasdjfa

I am absolutely going to put on these song recs while I work on the next chapter! 

a;osdfjlaksdfjasl the fact that you stayed up late to read this warms my heart so much. It reminds me of all the times I stayed up til the ass crack of dawn reading fanfics because I simply could NOT stop reading, so the fact that you enjoyed this like that makes me helllllaaaa emo 🥰

I just??? 2020 was indeed such a long year and affected my energy and creativity and honestly don’t really remember writing this hahaha. I kind of go into a fugue state with these longer fics and they just EMERGE. So to see you reflecting back some of what I wrote allows me to enjoy the process so much more. Makes writing and tumblr fun and I seriously wish everyone writing and creating could have someone as passionate and thoughtful and hilarious as you hyping them up 🌟 it honestly feels like a GIFT and I will absolutely keep writing this series and hoping to be worthy of it 😘

We will definitely get to see more of these two in the finale fic! I got into EXO after Tao, Yifan, and Luhan left so I’m not quite as familar with their personalities, but I could definitely see Yifan working at the US Bank haha. Business suit by day and partying/flirting by night. As for Luhan I feel like he’d work somewhere like the bookstore or the music store?? somewhere quieter and more contemplative. 

Thank you again for sending this and for being you <3 I hope 2021 is a wonderful year for you and that you know how AMAZING you are 💖💖💖💖💖

[euforia]

omg a thank you hug to @immortalink for tagging me 💖 rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

name: vihra

gender: gen..der? gen...z ha gotcha :DD i don’t mind any pronouns

dominant planets: astroseek says mercury, moon, saturn=uranus

dominant signs: cancer....capricorn....... .scorpio.............. .... 

dominant house: 10/11th, depends on the hs

dominant element: water. i need earth dom people that can pay me to take care of me

mbti type: enfp 

height: 5.7

age: 16. posts on here be like “:< i miss being sixteen” and i half-cackle half-cry at the romanticizing like what  ??? what?? damn

wallpaper on my phone: none rn (using a grandmaesque nokia) but my desktop wallpaper is this princess mononoke fanart i love

house: preferably (ok ravenclaw)

ever had a crush on a teacher: yeeahh so my primary school teacher is to this day the most beautiful woman i’ve met. even though i was too little to have a “crush” on her, i notice her in a lot of the women i feel attracted to now. she is a Taurus (+ rising, yes, the lips too) living alone in a literal cottage and babying kids for a living. i also fall for authoritative men with heavy saturnian/mercurian energies who preach knowledge at all times like my parents are both teachers leave me alone 

coolest halloween costume: uuh poor&punk so i never dressed up excessively 

favorite 90’s tv show: i haven’t seen any except a bit of twin peaks, i love verano azul but i think thats the 80′s? i welcome recs (please) as i just recently started watching shows (please)

last kiss: around february to a person i didn’t want to kiss at all and i need another kiss to fix it so bad. it really feels like my last kiss lmao

have you ever been stood up: no but i admit to doing it often out of paranoia

favorite pair of shoes: a pair of dirty ass sneakers that i wear so much their podmetka(????) ripped and with them on i feel like a rebellious victorian younker that’s been restlessly running away from everything while surviving on the mercy of strange women. also the heels im about to buy 

have you been to vegas: a girl can dream

favorite fruit: hear me out when you bite into whatever and it drips around your chin and down your wrists and you suck in a massive amount of juice and lean forward so it doesnt stain any clothes, this is what i look for in fruit. peaches melons pears gigantic plums and strawberries, july nectarines etc as long as my mouth is full in a single bite

favorite book: what............the brothers lionheart is my go-to and true answer to this terrible question

stupidest thing you’ve ever done: worst would be consenting to a certain interpersonal dynamic despite my intuition telling me to run

all time favorite shows: a:tla is my comfort show but i don’t really have any adult faves. until very recently i didn’t find myself thoroughly interested in shows, i rarely finished any or i skipped eps to get to the finale and then watched them later in depressive episodes just bc i didn’t have to keep a close eye. whenever i get my hands on hbo or something i watch killing eve and sense8. so again! tell me some series 

last movie you saw in theaters: man that was so long ago it took me a legit minute to remember but it was an experience :D i went to see frozen 2 with my little sisters, but we very accidentally entered the hall without buying tickets; my babes proceeded to protest, panic and whisper “we’re going to prison” during the entire movie lmaoo. we all cried at some point  

i tag @midnightwitcolor @midsummerpuck @imparable-babydoll and @tootpootwoot

[deeeelightfuldee]

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I would be devastated. Even if we are no longer talking, it would destroy me to know they aren’t on this earth anymore.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? not really no. well, I mean I’m happy with a conversation thats happening.

Do you want someone dead? absolutely not

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? if it’s kile we are referring to, yeah. I’m getting a lot better putting it out of my mind. my other exes heckin no except for the other one I loved.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? absolutely. we have adopted some from that method ahah

What is something you tend to worry about? people I care about. Like I worry that they’re safe, mentally OK, healthy, etc.

What is something you do that is unhealthy? hold on too long.

What is something you do that is good for you? I talk well about myself usually and I look for positives

What last caused you to force a smile? something in a video i thought was funny

What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? animal crossing. my controllers are SUPER whacked so it wasn’t too fun. I miss playing my games but I can’t afford new controllers yet

What is something not many people know about you? my assaults/history probably. I’m a very private person over all so i think most things people know about me are things they can see.

What word describes your basic style? classic

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? oh a customer once told me that because they wanted a special ordered crib that day and it was a 12 week wait. so obvs a legit reason -.-

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? .

If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? ..

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? yessssss

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? brushing teeth or CHANGING THEIR SHEETS

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? I made a choice to let go of a love that was destroying me. the motivation was like okay, i’m seeing he doesn’t love me, hes not going to love me. I’m spending my time, energy, and attentions to love him and I could be missing out on someone who loves me back.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? sewing

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? never for me but I’ve gone with friends who were getting them -.- ridiculous

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? yesssssssssssssssssssssssss and yes

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? I’ve done that for school but not on my own personally

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? art, animated shows/movies, games

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? hmm, not really. I like going to tjmaxx & target better if I’m with someone.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? for the most part. because its not my money that pays the rent I def don’t get weird about it. but I like most ofit

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? yes. I really want a particular type of coat but its hard to find.

Who makes you smile the most? hm. ummm... kile made me smile today he was bein a bit crass. it reminded me of how happy he used to make me. he used to be the one BY far that made me smile. these days its fairly even across the board.

What piercings do you want/have? I’d love to have my cartilage pierced again but it always gets infected because of my blood so i’m fine with what I have

What's your favorite website? probs tumblr.

Do you own a fish tank with fish? currently no

Do you like the movie 300? neverseen it.

Do you pop your knuckles? yup all the time

Do you have Photoshop? no its expensive

Do you use tinypic or photobucket? no

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? if I had the effort I wouldlove to genuinely figure it out but I only have a quarter-butt effort rn

How about the 1990s? ^

Have you won anything recently? nerp. 

How often do you make Excel tables? What for? pretty much never.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? probably a bunny

Are you always available or online? I’m usually available

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? gluten sensitivity and dairy sensitivity

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? I always loved silver because I think it’s so attractive but it turns out gold is VERY nice with my skin tone and since I have had to replace all my fine jewelry from kile with cheap stuff i can afford, i buy pretty much all gold.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? I was on a gilmore girls kick but right now im watching bobs burgers.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? i loved when I used to get it done professionally but its literally several hundred dollars and I just don’t have that. 

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. < Same.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? yes and no. It would be hypocritical if I said omg yes, you should always be in contact with your parents --- because obviously I never ever ever talk to my dad. But for a lot of people I know.. they put so much blame on their parents for things that are fairly unjustified or unrealistic expectations for their parents to not be human-like and remain perfect. It destroys me because I have spent years crying and aching for a father figure in my life that to think some people just create unnecessary division is frustrating. However, if there is serious conflict and its a matter of safety (physical/mental) then absolutely no problem with boundaries.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? hahahaha yes when I look like neither of my parents nor my siblings.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? honestly, loving and being loved.

Have you ever grown a berry bush? No

Have you done something new to your hair recently? I chopped about 15 inches off. 

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? no. anxiety really has never been a problem for me, thankfully.

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? rape

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? i replay conversations from my split with kile despite my desire to forget it. 

How often do you have late nights out? pretty much never lol its just not my scene. I’d kind of like one or two a month but I don’t know anyone that would go out with me and it can be unsafe as a female to do so alone.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? yes. I’m oriented to pretty strict self-discipline so it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? either a really strong thunderstorm or cooooooooold weather

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? my motivation is completely there but my health is not

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? i never remember names of them because i legit tune it out in my head.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? I always dreamt of going to college and doing well. I accomplished that (and then some!) I got into my dream colleges. I always wanted to travel by myself and I did. I always wanted to be in love and I was.

Have you ever had food poisoning? Yup.

What are you listening to? the freakin’ funniest song ever in bobs burgers -- the derek dematopolus song 

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I would not be surprised. there is a lot of animosity in this world

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? lol no. i’m a super smiley, happy person so it wouldn’t be expected of me.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? definitely. Michael always throws me off my guard that he likes me. 

In all honesty, can a person be too nice? people always say yes that they get taken advantage of but I think those are two separate things. I believe you can be endlessly nice even with boundaries. I wish people aired on the side of overly nice than the typical overly rude

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? in HS Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? absolutely. the effects are devastating

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? once in a blue moon. but only online

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? i never really played either

Do you own a rosary? no,I’m not catholic

[whateverisbeautiful]

Richonne in Retrospect

#7: The Spark (3x12)

Okay, so this next “Clear” moment is really special. And its particularly special cuz I think it’s the first time Rick and Michonne become more consciously aware that there might be something special between them. 😊

In re-watching their moments for these analysis, I’d try to figure out when exactly were the moments when R&M were more self aware of the fact that their could be something more between them, and to me this was one of the first big moments where I feel like they both sensed a spark.

So their first stop on this run is going to the station where Rick thinks they’ll be able to find the weapons they need. However, he thought. Because the place has been swept clean and there’s not any guns there.

We then see Rick have a moment of very visible frustration that the guns are gone. Like Homeboy’s pretty ticked and you can tell he’s taking this L pretty hard.

 And I love that in contrast to Rick’s more frazzled reaction, we have Michonne who’s still cool calm and collected. I appreciate how her calm and composed nature definitely balances Rick out both throughout this scene and throughout their relationship. Especially with how distraught Rick had become after Lori, he def needs a calming presence like Michonne in his life, y’all. 💯

So Michonne walks further into the empty place and spots a single bullet. I feel like that bullet is symbolic of a small glimmer of hope. Like Rick thought there would be guns and, while that ended up not being the case, there was still this lone bullet which serves as a sign that hope is not lost.

And by Michonne picking it up she becomes associated with a more hopeful approach. Plus, it lets you know that she’s not disappointed with Rick or looking at him as a failure, she’s finding the potential in the situation.

I think her more hopeful approach is further confirmed when she calmly asks if they have any other police stations in town. Cuz as antsy and frustrated as Rick is, she’s not riled up or fretting, she’s just ready to figure out how they make this work from here.

Rick tells her how he was the police in this rather small town and as he tries to collect himself he starts talking about how there’s other places to check. He mentions how there may not be as many guns as were in here and then we see the beginning of the way they always repeat each other’s words cuz she says, “We need as many guns as were in here.”

And again, it’s not said in a challenging or upset way but more so in a way where she’s just stating the honest facts. And then, this is such a small thing, but I appreciate that he says, “Yeah we do” because he’s verbally acknowledging and agreeing with her rather than just moving onto the next thing.

Now, y’all this is where this scene gets particularly interesting lol. Cuz Rick starts to mention the other places they can find guns and Michonne is just you know listening and not doing anything to trigger him, right?

And yet, once Rick lays out his plan, he feels the need to pause and ask her, “Do you have a problem with that approach?” 🙃

 It’s hilarious to me because Homegirl did literally nothing to imply she had a problem with that approach. But this just again illustrates how Rick’s a lil sensitive when it comes to Michonne. 😋

And I love that as much as he might have wanted to sound challenging asking this, it really does come across more like he genuinely wants to know her opinion on if she thinks it’s a bad or good idea. It could have easily been asked in an aggressive way, and while he’s def on edge, there’s still this element of respect in the way he asks.

It’s interesting how after he said the guns might still be there he immediately looked to her and because she hadn’t responded right away he quickly assumed it might be because she disapproves. And to me this really showcases the damage Rick had from his last relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the flaws in Rick and Lori’s relationship were all on Lori or all one sided, but I do think that Rick got very used to constantly being questioned and misunderstood and even disapproved of from Lori and I think by asking if Michonne has a problem it’s him expecting and bracing himself for yet another person to express doubt in him.

Which is why I absolutely adore what happens next because he gets the exact opposite response. 👏🏽

Up until this point in the station, Michonne hadn’t really been looking at Rick but when she hears this, she takes a moment to quietly turn and face him and I love that she lets a little bit of silence go by as she looks right at him, almost like letting him cool off for a second.

And then in the gentlest voice she tells him, “No Rick, I don’t have a problem.”

Can I talk about why I love this real quick? Like there are so many nice layers to this moment. 🙌🏾

First; for her to match Rick’s antsy energy with such calm and composure is so great. It’s so pleasantly unexpected and it lets you know this girl knows how to carry herself like a queen. By taking this gentle approach rather than a snippy or confrontational one, she manages to diffuse the tension effortlessly.

Second; it really does feel like this is about more than just not having a problem with the approach. This is about her trying to tell Rick “I don’t have a problem in general” and she’s not his enemy.

There’s also sort of a sadness here, cuz like everyone probably thinks she has a problem but it’s her way of saying “No, I’m actually much more human and easy to get along with than people take the time to realize” and it’s such a real vulnerable moment between them. 

Three; her response is so significant cuz it lets Rick know this is different than the last woman who would doubt him and have a problem with his decisions. Here’s a woman who instead supports him and is gentle with him. Rick was totally projecting his own frustrations on her but then she softly helped calm the situation. Cuz 👸🏾.

Four; The chemistry and spark between them are just so strong once she says this. Like I get why Danai might have read this and thought there was a little something something there, cuz there def was.

And then y’all I love the shot we get of her handing him the bullet. To focus on their hands in this moment lets you know they want this moment to be emphasized and significant. This moment feels very symbolic and low key feels like it’s alluding to the imagery of exchanging rings.  

Handing him that bullet is a way for her to establish a sense of belief in him. Cuz again, even though that was the lone bullet in a place he thought would be tons of guns, there was at least something there and her handing that to him was her saying there’s still hope. It was the one slither of hope in the room and she gave it to him rather than give him disappointment or disapproval.

This passing of the bullet is also like her way of saying I’m not here to fight you; we’re on the same team. And she offers the bullet to him, he accepts, and they continue to slowly but surely accept each other from here. To me it’s also symbolic of her handing him a softer side of her that he hasn’t seen before.

It’s so clear that these two are having a moment rn and that there’s more brewing beneath the surface.

And you know who also seems to know that these two were having a moment? My boy, Carl. 😋

Like as much as I love the passing of the bullet, my favorite part about this shot is Carl in the center as he seems to be picking up on the fact that this moment is not so “platonic”.  

As young as he is, I feel like even he could sense some type of chemistry between them. Especially in the shot that follows with Carl looking from his dad to Michonne like “What’s going on here?” lol.

And I’m so here for the little look Michonne gives Rick before walking away cuz it’s like an “I see you, the real you” look and also a bit of a “Partner, let me upgrade you” look. 😂

Cuz she low key knows just how to harness his frantic energy. Like she’s like “Bruh, just wait, once you’re with me you’re going to feel a lot less crazy cuz I’m about to be your source of sanity” lol. Direct quote from Michonne’s mind, y’all. 😋👌🏽

I love that she looks at Rick with this gentle face as a reminder that this warrior has a soft welcoming side too and you know Rick took note.

Like I think this moment played a big part in helping him be more open to this woman and it definitely further intrigued him. Cuz homeboy is straight up mesmerized and can barely hide it when she walks away. 💯

Like, y’all, a lot of the build up between Rick and Michonne was fairly subtle, however Rick’s reaction as Michonne walks away wasn’t subtle at all. Watching this back I realized that it was pretty blatant that in some way shape or form this man has caught feelings. Cuz what did she do to make him have to literally pause and recollect himself? Whipped already, y’all. 😊

Like he stays watching her go and then he sort of holds the bullet like it’s gold and then stores it in his shirt pocket and then looks up to the sky and it’s just a lot, cuz that man is feeling a lot lol.

When he looks up I feel like it’s him really wondering what this moment just meant cuz it certainly wasn’t just casual. Like I think, in the beginning of their relationship, Rick was a little shook that he might be able to fall for someone so deeply so soon, but that happens with soul mates. 😌

This whole prolonged moment of his reaction to her feels very significant for the show to linger on. I feel like to spend this time on this entranced reaction is because they want to hint at something. And to me it’s hinting that Rick knows there’s a spark there. He knows it. And so does Michonne.

Like I think this was both the phase in their relationship where they started to become a bit more aware of the attraction between them and also the first time they knew they felt a significant connection. And as time goes on they’ll realize just how significant that connection is.

Overall, I really appreciate this moment for establishing a deeper kind of chemistry between R&M and the fact that, in a few seasons, he would hand her mints the same way she handed him this bullet and then Richonne would be born, it just makes this moment even sweeter. 🙌🏾😊

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS AND TEST

You just have to do something grand or heroic about starting a startup generally. Most technologies evolve a good deal of that spirit is, fortunately, preserved in macros. Not likely. Things. Well, obviously overtly sexy applications like stealth planes or special effects software would be interesting to start viewing startup ideas this way, because now that there are a couple catches.1 Users don't know what we're going to do.2 The nature of the business means that you have to consciously force yourself to keep looking. The techniques for dealing with detail. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth was in itself a good thing: if your society has no variation in productivity increases with technology, then the contribution of the most admired Web 2. So I recommend being good.3

To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once. Ideally, you are getting together with a lot of I/O. More diffident founders ask Will you try our beta?4 I'm not sure why, but it seems very unlikely.5 For example, we seem to have been the most common types of fluff links are banned as off-topic. Either it's something they felt they had to make concessions. You want them to feel this way about the software they're writing for you. The defense of mosquitos, as a species, is that lawyers at some point.6 So long as you're not being paid to. I'll tell you why.7 Which puts us in a weird situation: we don't know who our heroes should be. If wealth means what people want.

When you only have a small number of early adopters. So a town that has attractions other than the university. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth. If you want a recipe for a startup to do this by counting the occurrences of tokens in the nonspam corpus double.8 Nothing will teach you about angel investing like experience. No web startup does. If you want to create a technology hub: rich people and nerds. Decreasing economic inequality means eliminating startups.9 There are two main kinds of badness in comments: meanness and stupidity. Ditto for investors. Someone graduating from college thinks, and is told, that he needs to get a cozy, tenured research job.

If the spammers are careful about the headers and use a fresh url, there is not a zero sum game.10 As well as avoiding bullshit one should actively seek out things that matter. It's a lot more highly of Lisp if Common Lisp had powerful string libraries and can talk to the operating system. Why work on problems few care much about and no one will pay for.11 There is a kind of shorthand: money is a way of saving you work, not something you work despite. So although there may be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount of wealth in the world. The variation between programmers. Which is not to save them from being disappointed when things fall through.

So governments that forbid you to accumulate wealth are in effect decreeing that you work slowly.12 And during the Renaissance, journeymen from northern Europe were often employed to do the most disgusting sort of work, like spamming, or starting a company whose only purpose is patent litigation. But they are relentlessly resourceful. There is a surprising lack of correlation between how hot a deal a startup is, economically: a way of telling you what to do if you're not a hacker, you can't start a startup by just writing some clever software, putting it on a server somewhere, and watching the money roll in—without ever having to talk to the founders of the next Google. You have to be just a model; you can refine it into the finished product.13 Airbnb is a classic example of the dangers of deciding what programmers are allowed to want.14 You have to go out of business.15 The only way a startup can have any leverage in a deal is genuinely not to need it. Could a language with Lisp's syntax, or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot. Organic growth seems to yield better technology and richer founders than the big bang method.16 Forty-two years later, Kleiner Perkins funded Google, and the study he quoted was published in 1968. So the test of mattering to hackers.17

5% of the company if he'd let us have it. It's the junk food of experience.18 A is unheard-of.19 You have to be optimistic about what you can see people doing.20 He returned to Harvard for the fall semester after starting Microsoft. If you plan to get rich, how would you do it? The cartoon strip Dilbert has a lot to say about programming languages. But people don't.

All the great hackers I know despise them. It has sometimes been said that Lisp should use first and rest instead of car and cdr often are, in successive lines. Bigger companies solve the problem by partitioning the company.21 To be attractive to hackers, and learning what they want. Why does this happen? They'll like you even better when you improve your system, even if it is harder to get from zero to twenty than from twenty to a thousand. You could make a great city anywhere, if you want to stop too, because doing deals is a pain in the ass.22 Imagine if you were in the middle of Antarctica, where there is nothing in spam-of-the-envelope calculations, this one wasn't designed for the world we now live in.23 Ditto for many other kinds of companies that don't make anything out of silicon, there always seem to be about technology. Any startup that could be described as a pie. In fact, this is the reason that high-tech startup is almost redundant. Consulting is the canonical example of work that doesn't scale.

You could have both now. I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new kind of store. You don't want small in the sense that the measure of good design together, but within each individual project, one person has to be pierced too. But you can run into a Big Cheese I knew from the old days in the Yahoo cafeteria a few months later will depend more on energy and imagination than any kind of special training. If there were a word that meant the opposite of hapless, that would be enough to get the effect of such external factors on the popularity of a programming language is not the main reason Lisp isn't currently popular. You can stick instances of good design can be derived, and around which most design issues center. If you can't find an exact match for a token, treat it as if it were hard to reproduce in other countries, because you couldn't reproduce it in most of our lives when the days go by in a blur, and almost none for talking to the operating system.24 Things are different now, of course.25 When we talk to founders about good and bad investors, one of the most famous scientists seem to have made that deal, though perhaps none of them had never seen the Web before we came to tell them why they should be on it. It's just a more extreme variant where you don't just use your software, but individual hackers won't, and it's the hackers you need to figure it out. 5% of the company.26 But by no means impossible.

Notes

While environmental costs should be taken into account, they have less room to avoid companies that we wrote in verse. I know, Lisp code. This seems unlikely that religion will be a hot deal, I advised avoiding Javascript.

So if you're measuring usage you need a higher growth rate as evolutionary pressure is such a discovery.

A lot of legal business. Whereas the activation energy required to notice when it's aligned with some axe the audience already has to be limits on the basis of intelligence. The unintended consequence is that the web. Earlier he'd had in grad school you always feel you should always absolutely refuse to give up more than the don't-be startup founders is how much effort on sales.

After a bruising fight he escaped with a product of some brilliant initial idea. The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates were highest: 14. Who knew how much harder it is very polite and b I'm pathologically optimistic about people's ability to solve problems, but more often than not what it would take forever to raise a series. But the time it would literally take forever in the other seed firms always find is that they take away with the VC declines to participate in the US News list is meaningful is precisely my point.

Looking at the time it takes more than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite and omit P rn letters. So whatever market you're in the case. I'm guessing the next uptick after that, in one of them is that the only one restaurant left on the firm's site, June 2004: While the space of careers does.

He couldn't even afford a monitor.

When you had in school, and only incidentally to tell VCs early on? But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the U.

They live in a large pizza and found an open booth. There are some whose definition of property. They did try to ensure none of your last funding round. In practice formal logic is not entirely a coincidence, because the publishers exert so much that they're all that value, don't even try.

If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to think about, just as Europeans finished assimilating classical science. To use this technique, you'll usually do best to err on the partner you talk to an adult. So how do you know the answer is no personnel department, and know the actual server in order to make money off their median investments. Corollary: Avoid starting a startup was a new airport.

Emmett Shear, and then a block or so you can stick even more vice versa: the process of selling things to be low. The aim of such regulations is to be free to work with the money they receive represents wealth—that economic inequality is really about poverty.

Adam Smith Wealth of Nations, v: i mentions several that tried to raise money succeeded, and it has about the other.

And for those founders. One great advantage of startups have over established companies can't compete on price, and philosophy the imprecise half.

That's probably too much to generalize.

The root of the marks of a social network for pet owners is a sufficiently identifiable style, you can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than to call all our lies lies. If I paint someone's house, the bad VCs fail to mention a few actual winners emerge with hyperlinear certainty. You've gone from guest to servant.

But there's a continuum here. According to the problem is that Steve Wozniak in Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. He, like speculators, that is a trailing indicator in any era if people are trying to make more money.

One father told me: Another approach would be very promising, because what they're getting, so I called to check and in a bug. But in this new world.

Any plan in 2001, but this could be overcome by changing the shape of the 70s never drew this curve.

If that were the people worth impressing already judge you more inequality. Which is why hackers give you more than clumsy efforts to manipulate them. The rest exist to this day, thirty years later. If you want to be evidence of a place to exchange views.

Perhaps this is a cause for optimism: American graduates have more money was the ads they show first. We once put up posters around Harvard saying Did you just get kicked out for here, since 95% of the false positives out of school. Comments at the mercy of circumstances: court decisions striking down state anti-dilution, which was open to newcomers because it is to raise money.

A larger set of good startups that are up-front capital intensive to founders. It would be reluctant to start with consumer electronics and to a VC who read it ever wished it longer. It's sometimes argued that we should, because outsourcing it will seem dumb in 100 years ago.

To help clarify the matter, get rid of everyone else and put our worker on a saturday, he took another year off and went to get going, and astronomy. Steven Hauser.

For example, would be to say for sure whether, e. In practice it's more like determination is proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where you currently are. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a middle ground. We see incumbents suppressing competitors via regulations or patent suits, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people are immune to the minimum you need to circle back with a clear plan for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same price as the first question is to carry a beeper?

I was a special recipient of favour, being a doctor. When investors can't make up the same way a bibilical literalist is committed to believing anything in particular took bribery to the ideal of a liberal education than past generations have.

Which helps explain why there are not written by the regular news reporters. He devoted much of the things we focus on growth instead of bookmarking.

You can retroactively describe any made-up idea as an adult. They're still deciding, which made it possible to transmute lead into gold though not economically at current energy prices, but suburbs are so intellectually dishonest in that respect. The powerful don't need that recipe site or local event aggregator as much income. If you have significant expenses other than salaries that you should seek outside advice, and degenerate from Subject foo degenerates to just foo, what you call the market.

The few people who chose the wrong side of making a good way to make peace. Which means one of them. Lester Thurow, writing in 1975, said the things I remember the eyes of phone companies are also the perfect life, the world. Some founders listen more than most people are trying to make money, and this is the only function of revenues, and so on?

[meggannn]

im a fuckin mess rn thinking abt how much i love FMA and ME at the same time, my love for both these stories could move mountains, and i remembered when i first played me3 last year, i realized that i thought ME is the second-best story i’ve seen that explores humanity for... what it is, and what it’s worth, with fma being the best. i’ve been meaning to revisit that idea for a while, because i was so busy playing in the moment i didn’t really think abt why. so anyway here’s some dumb meta. mild spoilers for ME and FMA

(this isn’t a post meant to make the argument that FMA is better, though imo since FMA is like... quite likely the closest a human being has ever come to making a perfect story, that might color some of my meta here.)

i ran into this quote the other day that really sums up my ideas abt what i think both stories are about: "If you are writing any book about the end of the world, what you are really writing about is what’s worth saving about it." — Justin Cronin

both stories involve a protagonist serving in the military. both stories involve humanity doing terrible things to itself, either to survive or in the nature of supposed “evolutionary progress.” both stories involve very tough discussions on morality and the value of human life (or in ME’s case, sentient life at all). both stories use the theme of body horror, and “swallowing” people (souls or genetic matter) to create “the next stage” of humanity under the guise of “the betterment of the world/universe.” both stress the emphasis on personal relationships being one of the strongest reason why life is worth living.

(i feel like i’ve blabbed a lot about how shepard/garrus themes remind me of mustang/hawkeye too, which may be one of the reasons i’m so attracted to it, but that’s a post for another day)

ultimately what i like abt these stories is that they line up all of the reasons why humanity can be terrible and inhumane and selfish, it lines up the very worst that we do to each other, and yet for every reason why, they give edward and shepard reasons to find double that many reasons to fight to preserve it. there is no question that for all their valid criticisms against humanity, the reapers and father must be stopped.

for example, the reapers harvest genetic matter in every cycle in order to continue their function. it’s a matter of continuation for them; every cycle is a fight for their survival as well. but there’s absolutely no question that they are in the wrong.  if peace were an option, it should be taken, but it isn’tt. the reapers don’t know the meaning of peace, however much they think they were built for it. and maybe that’s why the ME3 ending irritates and also fascinates me. the catalyst shows up and makes one last-ditch attempt at convincing shepard that synthesis is the correct path forward for all sentient life in the galaxy, because the reapers are scared of dying, too. they don’t want to be destroyed. they want to convince shepard that destroying them is against her better interest. for me, the answer is still obvious: i chose destroy because i believe any species whose very nature requires active endangerment and widespread destruction of other life forms is not a species worth saving. (maybe on earth, nature conservatists will say that says something about my bad politics, but for the sake of fictional species in scifi, that’s my stance.)

and we... kind of have a similar thing in FMA, but on a different kind of level, with the homunculi. at the end father is revealed to be a relatively simple thing that is absolutely terrified of confinement, of losing the individuality it has gained with its human origins (that it enjoys rejecting). it was extracted from the gate of truth and given the material properties of a human, including all of human’s flaws, and very human desires: knowledge, power, wealth, with the means to achieve them and absolutely no ethical code. i think what i like about father as a villain is that... he was born from humanity just as much as from the essence within the gate. he is everything that’s wrong with us spruced up with the power of a god. and he is defeated by the best of us who come together to say “humanity can and must be better than you” and decide that they’re going to make it that way.

obviously with ME it’s less of an emphasis on humanity and more of a “our differences make us stronger” story. substitute in humans for aliens and humanity for sentient life and the sentiment is much the same. one thing that actually irritated me when i first played ME was the fact that there was so little difference between humanity and most alien species. the asari and turians and salarians etc are not particularly stronger or smarter or more advanced, however they sometimes acted like it. they could be just as petty and arrogant and violent. then i realized that’s kind of the point of the story (not to mention what drives the necessity for a protagonist in story-world): what if we make it to the final frontier and... everyone else out there is just like us? within the sake of the story, it means that no one else is going to solve our problems, and when the reaper threat comes, we can’t count on someone else to save the day. we’re going to have to roll up our sleeves and do it ourselves.

father consumes human souls to create philosopher’s stones for energy he uses to keep consuming souls. reapers convert humans into husks and break down their genetic material to create more reapers. both of them see themselves as the apex of life, the top of the food chain.

there’s this great set of lines from van hohenheim to father in the climax of the show: “you insist on treating humans like a lower life form. but don’t you see? only through them can a philosopher’s stone be created. and only through a stone can a homunculus arise. but what does a homunculus produce? what do you create? creation is all, and you’ve done nothing but destroy. you may think you’ve reached a perfect state of being, but all you are is a dead end.”

like, what kind of an awesome fucking message. a huge insult, but he’s right. what’s the point of a species that doesn’t give back? what did the homunculi ever offer to the world that humans weren’t already? and what did the reapers give back to the universe? they took and processed and recycled people but they never changed the status quo; the universe literally remained static. life had no chance to grow beyond fifty thousand years. the reapers’ programming assumed that self-destruction was an inherent trait in organic life. they considered themselves the betterment of all life for accepting this inevitability and for destroying civilizations before it became a reality. and it’s possible they were right, that it is an inherent trait and our biggest weakness, but without the chance to evolve beyond it, like, how are we ever gonna know for sure? the reapers’ are the pessimist’s solution to solving modern civilization! and shepard is the stubborn optimist’s response to the reapers! i love that.

and also, about the military aspect... god this post is so disorganized... so i’ve been thinking about how both stories tackle the fact that, by necessity their protagonists are part of the military. (i’ve been meaning to write some meta about how bioware specifically uses the military in ME/DA as, like, a prop? but i always forget.) first off, i actually love that shepard is a soldier. for me, it gives me something to latch onto about the character, and it tells me a bit about who they are. thanks largely in part to the writing and hale’s fantastic voice acting since i always play femshep anyway. but in a larger sense I just... i love how FMA talked about the military while simultaneously being wrapped up in it. it was a story about that openly discussed imperialism, genocide, warmongering, and the dangers of military states. in ME, there was none of that, because i guess nobody wants to see real life politics in a video game, people would throw fits. so they don’t want to hear criticism of the rl military within a game that features a badass commanding officer like shepard, who has devoted their life to the alliance.

again, for me... this is not a bad thing for shepard’s character. i like it. it makes sense that shepard is a marine first. we need a war hero who cannot hesitate when making tough calls. but i have to admire that FMA went further. edward is in a position to see the military’s faults more clearly; shepard is a top agent who often has to find the best possible solution to a problem with her hands tied behind her back. edward is part of an organization with a centuries-long history of abuse that he finds himself unable to defend or stand buy the more he learns about it; shepard is built by the military, rebuilt by a paramilitary terrorist group, and then used by both and forced to fight for others with no promise of help in return. god where was i going with this. anyway i like FMA just that bit more because i feel like wherever ME was going... FMA hit the high score, then kept going and going until it doubled that high score. and maybe also at FMA’s heart is a glimpse at the ME3 ending that could’ve been. i don’t know.

anyway what is the point of this post. the new point of this post is that i just remembered greed didn’t deserve to die and im gonna fucking call arakawa about it right this second

[morningpages-louise]

August 07, 2019

Yo I got gulat. Hahaha. Cause Im sleeping in taft rn, because I slept here on Thursday and she left for anti polo but I left my stuff in her place so she told me to just lock up after myself, but I honestly fucking miss living in taft amp so I thought to myself why not just sleep here, I don’t know. So I’ve been a taft girl for two nights. People always ask me if I regret moving to pobla. No I don’t regret it. I just wish I didn’t go so soon. Because I love pobla, and I’m hella grateful to live in close proximity with everything like Rockwell and greenbelt and all the cute cafes and all that. Its just that, ill go where my friends are. And while I do have friends in pobla, aka kris and Kath and kids lol, I have more friends here. Yo archers walls are gonna give me a fucking heart attack. Cause I’m technically not even supposed to be here, but like I wanna chill ill probably spend the whole day here. I literally had 2 hours of sleep. Lets not talk about my late night decisions please. I’ve been quite irresponsible these past few days. But yeah.its 6:43 am. Last night or a few hours earlier, I was quite annoyed. By the new people added in our group. Im such a fucking bitch but I just miss when wed go to poblano and it would literally just be me, Alliyah and Sheena. Like why is there new people in the game like Sarah, Joel, and rj. I don’t know I was just annoyed. Like they’re great company, but I just felt like they were driving people away from talking to us. Lol I’m so fucking stuck up, I admit. This is the worst thing about me, the nastiest attribute, that I have so much pride in myself. I must admit. But atlas I’m aware. Does that make it better bah? Like when Derrick told me that he had been messaging Abigail, but she had been ignoring him, and now she was here, I was like thinking to myself like oh shit, should I not be seen with Derrick? Is he a loser? I don’t know tho I just went with it because I love meeting new people. And I guess I should be a little more open, because as much as Id like to believe I’m open minded, I’m honestly not that open minded. I mean if I think like this, then I’m not as open minded as I really think I am you know. I guess I should just stop caring about what people think about me. Like it all goes down to that. I still care way too much about how other people think of me, which is fucking ridiculous considering I’ll never see these people again, you know. I don’t know. Stupid. Stupid things to waste energy on. Stupid stupid stupid. Here’s to welcoming people of all weirdness and stuff. I felt like such a bitch yesterday talaga/ Like by the time we went to taft, I was just like, I’m outta here. Bye friends. Like cause I was in a pretty bad mood. I guess its me telling others like okay, Im kind of done with y’all. Like today, I think I will spend alone. So I can get work done. Okay, I’m getting pretty sleepy again. Ill probably wake up at 8, take a bath or something and then go back to sleep or something. You know an idea just struck me. Because I’ve been job hunting these past few days and I just realized like Ola hostel, which is just in Pablo ocammpo, that should be where sila sheena and Alliyah apply. I feel like they’d have so much fun cause foreigners and all. Thats also one thing that annoyed me. Like I fucking love sheena, but at times I just dont have the energy to deal with her. Someone else who I don’t have the energy to deal with is rico, like whenever he slides into my dms I just get put off man. That boy needs to puyo ha lol. Yeah sheena annoys me when she’s just constantly talking about how thirsty she is, or boys. I guess I’m just not that boy crazy. Like ofcourse I still get attracted to them and everything, but honestly like rn, its the last thing on my mind. Like my mind is pretty much thesis and careers entered at the moment. I don’t know why it pisses me off, I think maybe I just might be jealous of her, because she’s getting action. She’s being liked by guys. Jealousy, pride. These are my sins. My ugliest traits, Jealousy, lust, stealing. It’s no secret I’ve been getting money from my roomates and friends. Its fucking nasty. im thinking of what to eat for breakfast lol. Its crazy. I dont have much memories in erickas condo, because well its ricks condo, but I’m going to miss it man. She’s leaving next week na ata. See, my friends are all leaving taft one by one. First its Ericka. Then max. Then well idk who else. But yeah, were all just going. I’m getting so sleepy and im just rambling at this point, but I hope I get a job soon. And I hope these nasty habits of mine are confronted. I must find a way not to avoid these feelings, but to confront it. Thanks for coming to my ted talk lol bye.