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[moonstrider9904]

Also why is Crosshair still bald

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#SIYC

Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser Genre: Multi-chapter, Romance, Comedy Rating: M for sensitive language and content

Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna’ to hear, ‘cause that’s true, that’s what I like about you

- What I Like About You, The Romantics

“Stop over. I’d like to take a picture!” Juvia hit him on the shoulders. She was unusually excited about the ad considering how she 'dead-pan’ called him 'that guy from the billboard’ the first time they met. “It’s the same as the one near the studio.”

Of course they were talking about that sport-drink billboard where he was wearing nothing but his aztec bandana and his full six-packs.

“C'mon, Juvia.” He whined, not really on-board with his girlfriend’s idea. “If you really want a picture of my abs I got it right here.” Gray said. One hand was on the steering wheel while the other slowly pulled the hem of his shirt upwards, teasing a little of that six pack he was talking about.

Juvia laughed dryly.

“Just stop over.”

Then, Juvia did the most 'tourist’ thing to do: posed and took photos with Gray’s sport-drink billboard in the background. She roped her boyfriend in and forced the poor guy to pose in front of his million-dollar deal.

“Just so you know, not everyone gets to score something like that.” Gray tried to save face as the ballerina had her phone out to take photos of Hoopster.

“Whatever. Just go pose in front of well… you.”

Gray could see Juvia folding her lips and fighting a laugh but that was one hell of good-looking abs right there and he should be proud of it.

—

Miles away, Gray could already see the sign – Isvan Home for Boys. The Ghini arrived at the entrance where a security guard on post greeted Gray with a one-hand salute. Thereafter, he let the black Lamborghini into the compound.

“Home for Boys?”

Gray only answered Juvia’s inquiry with a glance and a timid smile.

Ghini crawled in front of an average looking bungalow that sit on a wide area of land. All the while, Gray looked around for free space. He parked next to the ridiculous orange that was hurting his eyes, the Lava – Natsu’s Mercedes.

“They’re probably already inside.” He told Juvia as he cut the engine off of his Lamborghini.

He jumped out of his car and dashed to Juvia’s side. But the independent ballerina was already out of the car and had shut the door close behind her. Hoopster settled on holding her hand instead and leading her into the building. An older man waited for them at the entrance.

“Juvia, this is Mr. Gômon.”

The tall, rounder man had a prominent goatee and thick brows. He offered the new face a smile that made his eyes disappear.

“He’s one of my father’s closest friends and he runs this place.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sir.”

“No need to be all formal, Miss Juvia.” The older man then turned to Gray to give him a quick hug and a pat on the back. “Always excited to see you 'round this time of year.”

Gômon informed the two that Natsu and the others were already inside. But he didn’t go in with the new arrivals. The headmaster left the responsibility to Gray who knew the place like the back of his hand. Gray guided Juvia deeper into the building, navigating the old hallway like he was just there yesterday. In the middle of the seemingly typical bungalow was an open space where the kids could run around on the grassy ground. The figures who were standing on it were familiar to Juvia but the children interacting with them weren’t. The children, all young boys ranging in age, were in uniform – Fiore Knights uniform.

Gray pulled Juvia’s hand into a stop and stayed at the end of the tiled hallway that opened into the open space.

“Every year we hold a sports clinic for these boys.”

Gray hasn’t told anyone but just a sight of these young boys crowded around his team, wearing smaller version of the Fiore Knights’ uniform, bouncing balls in their hands, he felt pride swell up his chest. He was once like them but these kids had it worse than Gray. Gray still had one parent alive. The kids were orphaned at a very early age.

“Something the guys and I do, off the record.”

“So, no press?” Juvia asked.

“No. I don’t like them turning everything into a spectacle.”

Gray turned to Juvia, readying to let a little fact about him slip out the box.

“This was actually my dad’s idea. When he was alive, he brings me here once a year. He’d teach us basketball and I get to play with the kids my own age.”

It was one of the many good memories Gray had with his father. He’d run around with the kids all day. It felt more like actually playing rather than practicing. At least, once a year, he got to play like a real child. But now that’s all it was, a memory. Gray knew Juvia felt sorry for him. He could see it in her big blue eyes. But he wasn’t sad nor sorry. On the contrary, being able to continue his father’s legacy was one of those moments Gray felt fulfilled.

“Hey, don’t fall in too much in love with me yet, alright?”

Juvia playfully smacked him on his right arm.

“In your dreams, lover boy.”

This was supposed to be a happy, important day and he wouldn’t go dampening the mood with sad stories.

“Look! It’s the Cap!”

Gray and Juvia whipped their heads to look at the direction of one of the kids pointing at them. Well, Gray to be exact. Once the other kids saw the Team Captain, everyone raced over and their force tackled him to the ground. Juvia had to step away for a moment before she got tangled in that excited little mob which devoured her boyfriend.

They were talking all together, visibly elated at his presence. Gray swore his brain was about to explode with the kids all talking at once. But Hoopster was able to give each one of the boys a high five; no men left behind.

“Alright, alright! Take it easy, boys.”

“Hey, Captain. Who’s the pretty lady?”

Gray assumed his boys were too young to watch the dance show not to recognize the prettiest lady in 'My Star Can Dance’.

“Everyone, say hi to Miss Juvia.”

Obeying the Captain’s instruction, the boys greeted in unison. It was easy for Juvia to work that crowd; she dealt with little girls in her studio and Juvia’s students loved her very much. She turned on her charm and that big bright smile; even Gray fell for it.

“Hey, Cap! Stop flaunting yer girlfriend and let’s ball.”

It was Gajeel’s turn to tease his captain. But he still made sure he got the point across, because the Center was right, they might just lose some precious daylight if they kept playing around.

“Alright, boys! Let’s give the Captain some time to change into his Captain uniform.”

Gajeel called and gathered the kids back to start quick drills.

“Yes. Change clothes.” Loke winked at Gray, that kind of wink he knew had some double meaning. Loke was the kind of guy who made everything sound sexual, even just the word broccoli.

So, his Captain gave him the finger.

Fiore Knights’ Team Captain apologized for Loke’s joke by telling Juvia to just ignore the dimwit. Gray hesitantly excused himself from Juvia to run back to his car and slip into his uniform. But he didn’t want to leave her alone in an unfamiliar place. Good thing his mother chose that moment to make an entrance, with President Wakaba in tow.

“Go get changed, Gray. I’ll entertain Juvia for a while.”

When Mika Mine walked past him, she decided to act like a real mother and reminded Gray to put towel on his back. She made sure both Gray and Juvia heard it.

“Mother!”

But Mika was already hauling Juvia into the building and leading the giggly ballerina to where the open court was, Gray presumed.

Gray quickly changed into his Fiore Knights uniform. All the way from the common restroom to the outdoor court, Gray reconsidered his decision of bringing Juvia along at the Home. He had no qualms about sharing that part of his life with Juvia. He wanted to open up to her, so that she could get to know him better, deeper. That he was more than just a pretty face and reliable dance partner. He wanted to have that intimacy with Juvia and maybe take the relationship to the next level. The problem was leaving her girlfriend to his mother’s care. That woman could talk! And Gray’s afraid he wasn’t earning the plus points he wanted.

Gray was now trekking through the earthy pathway leading to the open court. The open space design was the main reason why Gray loved the basketball court at the Home. Green trees surrounded the area, warranting that natural, fresh air. It was simply freeing.

He arrived at the basketball court where his team and the boys were doing basic drills. Natsu, Fiore Knights’ point guard, led the footwork exercise. Gray knew the pain of the 'low knee running in place’ exercise, especially now that his Vice Captain wanted to double the speed. But he wasn’t hearing any complaints. Burst of laughters echoed in its stead. It seemed as the boys were enjoying themselves. The girly giggles, one which Gray hoped was not enjoyed at his expense, came from the shaded side of the court where Gray’s mother and his girlfriend were bonding. Oh, Gray hoped Mika didn’t bring any of that embarrassing photo albums.

“Oh, nooo.” His face twitched.

No photo album but Mika was showing something in her phone. The woman actually went digital!

—

Gray jogged to the center of the court and joined the others. But he’s mind was still at the two women in his life sitting at the newly installed garden bench.

“Hey, Cap!”

Loke approached him first, breaking from the group to greet his Captain. Gray walked with him but he wasn’t paying attention even when Casanova audibly hissed.

“That doesn’t look good for you, Cap.”

That one got his attention and he engaged.

“What?”

“That.”

Loke was pointing at where the restrained laughters where coming. Both eyes, one blue and one darker, were still glued at the older woman’s phone.

“I bet now Mrs. President is showing your girlfriend some childhood photos.”

Gray wasn’t worried about that. He was a cute kid! Even when he was younger, Gray was already a chick magnet. Every middle-aged woman in their block loved to pinch his cheeks or place a kiss on them. Juvia would easily fall in love with that face. Such fact was the only thing keeping him sane.

“You know, little Gray. And you don’t want your girlfriend to think about little Gray.”

The Team Captain stopped dead in his tracks, pulling his son of a witch Small Forward with him. Gray turned to give Loke a look that was a cross between very, very confused and 'don’t f*ck with me’.

“Little. Gray.” Loke’s sly hazel eyes drifted down south. And he was very pleased with himself watching the Captain’s confused look morphed into horrified, as the idea registered in Gray’s brain.

Loke jogged ahead, filling the air with his loud 'I gotcha’ laugh.

The Small Forward was just obviously trying to pull his leg. In today’s game, the team of Fiore Knights resident Casanova was going against the Captain’s. He was just trying to get in his head. Couldn’t blame the man. Psy-war was all part of the game. And the ultimate playboy wasn’t above using such underhanded tactic.

—

Juvia heaved a long breath, letting the fresh air enter and expand her lungs. It was one of the things Juvia loved about leaving the city – fresh air and green scenery. It wasn’t only psychological, science backed up the benefits of the outdoors. She loved her life in the city but once in a while, Juvia wanted a change in scenery. That was why she travelled home as often as her schedule would allow.

Isvan wasn’t what she expected at first; it was too much like the city. When Gray won successive championships for Fiore, the previously unknown town became some sort of a tourist attraction. But the moment Gray turned the curve, Juvia saw the real Isvan – a simple country side.

Juvia never expected that Gray would bring her to Home for Boys. She knew Gray was a nice person, that there was something more to him that met the eyes. But she could have never seen it coming. It was Gray. He was a basketball god, on top of his game. He was young, determined and didn’t hurt the eyes. No, he was hot as hell. And when you were that rich and attractive, people say you could have anything you wanted. But if you look behind all those superficies, a real person emerges. Gray was actually funny, kind and despite that Prince Syndrome he got going the first time they met, Hoopster was actually a reliable person. He didn’t think about himself all the time just as those page-six stories would portray him to be. Figures, he was the Captain of one of the country’s successful sports team. His leadership carried Fiore Knights through three championships and it looked like Earthland hasn’t seen the last of them.

Celebrity-athletes like Gray would usually make appearances in just every charitable events some of them didn’t even know what for. For most, it was all for show, to gain some popularity. You could tell. You could always tell. When the kids ran to Gray, almost throwing him to the ground, Juvia felt a warm feeling swell up her chest. As she watched his nose crinkle and his eyes almost disappear from laughing, that warm feeling spread like wildfire.

She was just starting to get to know Gray better and so far, she liked what she was seeing. And when he said she shouldn’t fall in love with him too much yet, it was just impossible. She was falling in love with him every second.

Juvia couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard. Mika Mine was telling her all about young Gray’s adventures. Of course, she was thankful for every bit of embarrassing information. She made sure she committed everything to memory. At last, Juvia had something over Gray to tease him about. Icing on the cake? Mika Mine showed her pictures.

There was one with a grumpy, eight year old in a prince charming costume. Mika said Gray wanted to be Spiderman for that Halloween but she didn’t like him hiding his beautiful face. Gray refused to talk to her mother for a week. There was also one with Juvia’s boyfriend in his first basketball uniform three sizes bigger than his 10 year old figure. But her absolute favorite, one Juvia would save later in her phone was Graysia. Gray’s little sister – or so his mother wanted to imagine. Mika always wanted to have a little girl but since they couldn’t afford another child, Gray would do. On one random afternoon, Mika dressed Gray in a pink ball gown and putting on him red lipstick. Oh, Juvia just stumbled on a gold mine.

Like some kind of magnet, Juvia could feel Gray’s presence in the court. Her eyes already drifted to where Gray was, about to join his group, wearing his latest Fiore Knights uniform. He was talking to one of his teammates, Loke. Whatever it was about seemed to horrify Gray. He looked at Juvia’s way and she smiled at him. That seemed to put Gray at ease and about to bury one gloating Small Forward.

After a few stretches and drills, Gray had the ball in his hand. He was talking to the kids and they were listening to him intently. Juvia was sure it was hard to keep those little heads to focus. Juvia had girls and she couldn’t keep their focus for more than fifteen minutes by just talking.

Gray finished his informal speech with two hand claps that really hyped the children. The boys quickly dispersed and Fiore Knights were left in the court.

“Watch this, kids!”

Loke, the show-off, exhibited a clean through-the-legs dribble before his speed brought him near the basket for a clear shot. She knew the guys were just showing off but the kids were extremely immersed. Their young eyes were glued at the five tall figures. And for most of those kids, they were probably watching their heroes in action.

Each member of Fiore Knights showed complicated footwork before perfecting a basket. Natsu’s shot did three rounds of spin and the kids held on their breaths until the ball went inside the. Laxus, the Power Forward, and Gajeel, the Center, jumped and perfected a dunk shot, earning loud cheers from the kids. Gray, staying true to his professional nickname, stayed a little outside the 3-Point-Line arc to make his famous three-pointer. The ball shot upwards and landed on a natural falling arc. It went inside the ring in a perfect curve. The kids frantically howled and clapped as the Earthland National Basketball three-peat champions took a bow.

The Captain waved the children back on the court, dividing them into two groups. In order to distinguish them from each other, one group was wearing the predominantly red Fiore Knights uniform, which the team wore in this year’s championship; the other wore last year’s gold accentuated jersey.

“They’re going for a match.” Mika felt the need to explain. “Gray takes the red team and Loke takes the gold team.”

“The team trains in the City. Who takes care of the boys?” asked Juvia.

“I believe you met Gômon earlier? He might look a little out of shape but he’s a good player. Silver… Gray’s father and Gômon were members of the same basketball team.”

It’s been years since the mention of the Fullbuster patriarch’s accident and eventual death in the papers. Gray and his mother might have a different life now but Juvia could still see hurt lingering in Mika’s eyes.

“The two of them always went here to train the kids long before we had Gray.”

Mika might have been smiling, but it was rather a weak and small one. Juvia knew not to ask about it. Something like that never really goes away.

“Oh, look. They’re starting.”

The kids were in the middle of the court, scattered within the center circle. Two kids were crouched down opposite each other, waiting for Natsu to toss the ball. Juvia scanned the court for that raven-hair she came to miss. He was at the side bench on the other end of the rectangle, holding a board and a short stick, which turned out to be a marker, tucked on one ear.

Juvia has seen Gray in action since he was just an aspiring but talented freshman in the regional basketball league. He captivated Juvia the moment he made his first three point shot. Juvia followed him around after that, always present in his games, even roping Levy in that Gray-crazed phase. Until she saw him kissing the head cheerleader of the opposing team. The memory left an ugly taste in her mouth; she didn’t want that image to get stuck in her mind and ruin the weekend. So, Juvia locked that image inside the drawer labeled 'never to open ever’.

Natsu blew the whistle. The first half of the game wrapped up with a tight score of 30-34 with Loke’s gold team in the lead.

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good.”

Juvia turned to Mika, confused.

“He doesn’t like losing.”

That one Juvia could attest to. Gray was crazy competitive. He probably hated that Loke’s team was having a lead on his. But Gray wasn’t screaming at his team; he wasn’t lashing out at anyone. Instead, he was throwing high fives and light pats at his kids. Then, he gathered them in a tight circle, raised the clipboard flatly so that the kids could see something he drew on it. He was giving them instructions, maybe devising some strategy to win the game.

“His always like that when he gets in the zone.” said Mika, her midnight eyes looking over where Juvia was. “When his eyebrows meet in the middle like that, you know he’s serious.”

Juvia squinted her eyes to look closer. Just as Mika said, Gray’s thick eyebrows were furrowed in the middle as he spoke. The woman was right; Juvia have seen that look many times: when the score and the clock weren’t in favor of Gray’s team; when he was about to make those little last minute three points he became famous for; or lately, when Gray wanted to nail a complicated choreography. Hoopster never wavered when he set his mind to it. That was one of the many qualities Juvia liked about Gray – his fiery passion.

After the short break, his usual smile crept up Gray’s lips and he was back high-fiving the kids. He even playfully kicked the other team’s coach on his butt and Loke hit back with words, to which Gray said something back. Knowing Gray, it was probably something kids shouldn’t be listening to.

When the 3rd quarter started, the ball was in Gray’s court. They managed to score six points over Loke’s team. Casanova wasn’t looking happy about it but Gray Fullbuster was full on gloating. Juvia shook her head. Gray Fullbuster was a fine, funny, kind and very, very likeable man but he let that childish him slip out sometimes. Juvia didn’t mind, it made him who he was.

Gray was sending signals to his team. The ball was played by Loke’s gold team and they made the shot, cutting down the score gap. Juvia caught a glance of Gray and he engaged, holding the gaze for far too long apparently because Gray didn’t see the ball coming, hitting him sharply in the head.

By instinct, Juvia bolted up the bench and so did Gray’s mother. But President didn’t move. In fact, he still held on his cane while he put the other hand on his stomach as he let out a straight guffaw.

“Wakaba!” Mika reprimanded.

“What? It was funny.”

But the glare was boring through him like a good 'ol drill.

The kid who threw the ball ran to the coach with the other kids, all worried. The Fiore Knights, on the other hand, shook their heads biting down a laugh. Getting hit in the head with a ball was common to basketball players. It just didn’t happen that often to the great and mighty Team Captain.

“I’m alright. No need to panic.” Gray assured, shouting to the other side to ease the worries on Juvia and his mother’s face.

“See? It doesn’t even hurt. He’ll live, Mika.”

The kids crowded around the Team Captain who just scratched his forehead and still all smiles. He patted the kid’s head, the one who threw the ball that hit Gray, and told everyone to return to the game. They did and quickly finished up the 3rd quarter with Loke’s team still in the lead.

Gray took that hit for nothing.

Loke said something and earned a very discreet finger for it.

At the last quarter, Gray’s team managed to minimize the point difference but the gold team still bagged the win. There was no hard feelings though, it was just a game. Team Captain often emphasized how important teamwork and, of course, sportsmanship were. After the game, the kids automatically fell into two parallel lines facing each other. The coaches instructed them to shake hands. Even if some looked like they weren’t up for it, the kids still obeyed the adults.

“Alright, then. That’s our cue.”

Mika invited Juvia back into the building. In the middle of the green patch were two buffet tables. Round tables cladded in white were scattered around. Once the children changed into their casual clothing, they wasted no time get cracking at the table full of varied treats.

“Oh, look at that. They are already starting.”

Mika didn’t reprimand the kids but ordered the waiters to put more food on the buffet table and refill those which were running out. She excused herself from Juvia so she could assist in the party, leaving Juvia wandering alone at the open space.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Juvia let out a surprised gasp when she was pulled by the waist against a hard figure. She turned around to meet Gray’s meaningful eyes and slightly slanted smile.

“Not in front of the kids, Cap.” Juvia wrapped her arms around Gray’s neck, pressing her body against hers.

“You should call me that more often.”

“Cap? Cap-tain.” Juvia let the word roll on her tongue, which Gray liked very, very much.

“What are you doing?”

Juvia almost pushed Gray away when she recognized the voice, which was that of a child’s, and became highly aware of what they were doing. Although perfectly normal for couples, public display of affection shouldn’t be displayed in front of young eyes, like this one.

“I was just checking his forehead.” Juvia pretended to look at the area where the ball hit. “You know… where–”

“–where the ball made him its fitch? He was distracted.” The little boy said as he shrugged the shock that rounded two pairs of adult eyes.

“What?”

Gray had to crouch down and look the kid straight in the eye. He tried not to sound like he was scolding the kid.

“What did you just say?”

“You got distracted.” The kid answered, point blank.

“No, not that. The one before that.”

“Oh, that the ball made you its fitch?”

“That’s not even a word.”

“Yes, it is. Coach Loke told me so.”

Oh, so he was on Loke’s team.

“Well, Coach Loke is crazy.” Gray stood to his full height. “Don’t listen to him.” He tried to dismiss the kid by slightly shoving him forward.

“But he was right. You were looking at the pretty lady. That’s why the ball made you its fitch.”

“I’m going to kill that little fitch.” said Gray under gritted teeth so the little ears wouldn’t hear.

“Just go eat some hotdogs.”

“Those hotdogs on sticks?”

“Yes, Kenny. Those hotdogs on the sticks.”

“Cool!”

Then, Kenny ran off as if he didn’t just drop that 'fitch’ bomb on the two adults. And like he didn’t just insult Fiore Knights’ Team Captain. This generation’s Michael Jackson, some would say.

“Why are you laughing?”

Gray had his hands on his waist, pretending to narrow his eyes at Juvia, who was biting her lip to keep down a giggle. She couldn’t even open her mouth without laughing. The exchange between Gray and Kenny was quite entertaining.

“Let’s go and eat some hotdogs on sticks.”

Gray pulled her by the hand and led her to one of the long buffet tables. Holding hands was a safe kind of PDA which didn’t gross out the kids. But feeding each other those hotdogs earned a long 'eew’ from the crowd, even the old kids – a.k.a Fiore Knights.

—

Writer’s Corner: Hi guys! Did you see Hiro Mashima’s latest twitter post? It’s a new graffiti telling us what to and not to do during this lockdown/quarantine. Keep safe everyone.

Also, I’ll be tagging here all those who reblogged and commented on the last chapter! Thank you for your support!

@shounenmangaotphell @ftmains @sobatsu @ship-ambrosia @freeezingrain @nay-ssi @gruvia-galaxy @justbeingtruemyself @anaken101 @mika-milano @juvialockseroff @juviaafullbuster @jetblackrevival @icelyn20 @shampooneko 

[suitairbus3-blog]

Stone-walling low-carb: DAA, AHPRA, and the Diet of Worms.

Our 2015 paper, Low-carbohydrate diets as the first approach in the treatment of diabetes. Review and evidence-base, summarized the clinical experience and the research results of the 26 authors. Meant to be a kind of manifesto on theory and practice, the first version of the manuscript was submitted to a couple of major journals under the title “The 15 Theses on…” harking back to Martin Luther’s 95 Theses. A critique of Church practices, particularly indulgences — for a few bucks, we get you or your loved ones out of purgatory — the Theses were supposed to have been nailed by Luther to the door of a church in Wittenberg. Our MS was rejected by BMJ and New England Journal although, like the original 95, it did not seem particularly radical — The American Diabetes Association (ADA) acknowledges that dietary carbohydrate is the major source of high blood glucose and most of our points of evidence were based on pretty solid fact.  Anyway, somebody suggested that we were, in effect, trying to nail our low-carbohydrate paper to the door of the ADA and, in the end, we changed the name to “evidence base” and it was ultimately published.

Until recently, I had not noticed the extensive parallels of the current low-carbohydrate revolution with the Protestant Reformation. The recent imperious and rather savage actions of professional organizations, notably two in Australia, the DAA (Dietitian’s Association of Australia) and AHPRA (Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency) in clamping down on their own members for deviation from orthodoxy brought out the similarities. Unlike Luther, who felt that the church really needed his help in getting abuses straightened out, Jennifer Elliott, a dietitian with an established practice of 30 years and Gary Fettke an orthopedic surgeon, thought that they were just doing their job and that, however, non-standard, the low-carbohydrate diets that they recommended for people with diabetes, was far from heresy. Because of the ties between government health agencies, Jennifer ultimately lost her job and Gary is under the bizarre order not to recommend diets to his patients because, as an orthopedic surgeon, there is “nothing associated with your medical training or education that makes you an expert or authority in the field of nutrition, diabetes or cancer.” (Those of us who are actively trying to upgrade the medical curriculum would question which part of the medical profession has such expertise or authority). Dr. Fettke’s training does, however, allow him to perform amputations which have diabetes as its greatest cause, second only to accidents. In any case, offering low-carbohydrate diets to patients has long been perceived as a threat by establishment medicine.  While their claims that they, and they alone, can control the epidemics of obesity and diabetes has been at the level of offering reduction of time in purgatory.  The medical establishment has been intolerant of criticism but has largely responded by delaying or preventing publication and by refusing to fund research that might get the “wrong” answer. The direct attacks on practitioners is new. There are several instances but the Australian cases distinctly represent desperation.

Luther at the Diet of Worms.

History of religion remains one of the gaps in my undergraduate liberal education and I was unfamiliar with the dramatic events surrounding Luther’s mission. The sixteenth century was a brutish time and I should have guessed how violent and oppressive would have been the response of the Catholic Church to Luther’s suggestions for improvement. After all, if you insisted on the word of the Bible rather than the word of priests, indeed, if you wanted direct access to a Bible in your own language rather than in Latin, then everybody could be their own savior. Being burnt at the stake was standard punishment for such heresy. We all know about Galileo’s brutal treatment and his being forced to recant his heliocentric theories, although at some point, he supposedly muttered, under his breath, “eppur se muove.” (It (the earth) does move anyway). That was almost a century after Luther’s protest and the danger was even greater in 1521. Luther, however, was a madman and refused to recant. Ultimately, he faced a trial at the Diet of Worms. (Contrary to popular opinion, “Diet” is an English word and means assembly; the German is Reichstag; Worms is in Germany, about 60 kilometres from Frankfurt-am-Main, and is pronounced “Vorms,” to rhyme with “norms,” but the joke is widely made, even by Shakespeare: see end of this post). At The Diet, Luther got off because a unanimous vote was required for conviction. He had an inside man, Frederick the Wise, the elector (as local political leaders were known) in his province.  Frederick seems to have thought that Luther was good for tourism (and probably helped get the Church off his own back). Of course,“not guilty,” doesn’t mean innocent and, as for sex-offenders in our day, you could get killed in the street anyway and the authorities would understand. To protect him, Frederick had Luther “kidnapped,” disguised as an aristocrat with the alias Junker Jörg and he went to the mattresses in a Castle in Wartburg for a year until it all blew over. Lucas Cranach the Elder painted a portrait of Jörg, possibly to let followers know that Luther was still alive.

         Junker Jörg aka Martin Luther.

Heresy down under

So what had the Australian health professionals done to arouse the wrath of the “Church”? Not much. Jennifer Elliott has more than 30 years of experience and is the author of the excellent book, Baby Boomers, Bellies & Blood Sugars  which is distinguished by its straight-forward practical approach and does not seem to tweak anybody’s beard. In fact, she was not really accused of any specific thing although the message was clear: low-carbohydrate high fat (LCHF) diets are forbidden. Trying to help out, I sent an email message to Claire Hewat, head of DAA. I attached the twelve-points of evidence paper and I explained our position. I pointed out that “Ms. Elliott seems quite upset and genuinely puzzled since carbohydrate restriction has been a treatment for diabetes more or less forever, certainly going back to Elliott Joslin (early twentieth century physician and authority on diabetes).”

        Claire Hewat, head of DAA.

I mentioned an interview with a reporter from the New York Times who could not understand the resistance to an established, successful and ultimately obvious therapy — you don’t give carbohydrates to people with a disease of carbohydrate intolerance — and I made the case that the burden of proof should be on anyone who didn’t approve. I suggested a discussion, “perhaps an online webinar, in which all sides present their case. I and/or my colleagues would be glad to participate.” Claire’s answer was that I was “obviously not in possession of all the facts in this matter, nor can I apprise you of them as this is part of a confidential complaints process …nor is DAA afraid of debate but this is not the place for it.”

Not to digress too much, I loved the idea that I did not have the facts right but the facts were not available because they were confidential. It reminded me of watching a scene in one of the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes movies. Holmes is playing the violin and his arch-enemy, Professor Moriarity suddenly appears in the doorway:

Moriarity: “Holmes, I’ve come to….Well, I am sure that you can deduce why I’ve come.”

Holmes: “Yes. And I’m sure you can deduce my answer.”

Moriarity: “So that’s final?”

Holmes: “I’m afraid so.”

Most distressing remains the fact that DAA constitutes a professional dietitians’ organization which should, as in Macbeth, “against his murderer shut the door, / Not bear the knife myself.” (Is this a DAAger I see before me?)

The details of Jennifer’s case are buried in evasive legal double-talk but the precipitating events make it clear that censure derives from her recommending low-carbohydrate diets to her patients with diabetes. Claire Hewat’s defense against this obvious lack of due process was that Jennifer was invited to appear before an inquiry, set up somewhat along the lines of the Diet of Worms, but Jennifer refused to appear. In fact, it would have been worse than the Diet in that there were no formal charges and even Luther had been afforded legal representation. There would certainly be no defenders, as Luther had in Frederick, the Wise. Most important, recanting was not an option — if it wasn’t about anything real, there was nothing to recant. (Like Luther, she probably would not have felt able to recant anyway). Jennifer declined to attend telling Claire that it appeared to be “an invitation to a beheading.” The net effect is that she lost her job and and legal recourse would likely be exorbitant.

The words

In the reformation, heresy might have meant simply owning a Bible in your native language, or really owning any Bible at all. The Church held onto the Latin versions which you did not get to see directly. Somewhat like governmental nutritional guidelines in our tme, it was not in your native language, and required an “expert” priest to tell you what’s what. The first English translation was accomplished by John Wycliffe and during the English Reformation, several people were actually executed for owning a Wycliffe Bible. I found it somewhat analogous to the persistent hatred of Dr. Atkins so long after his death, that, at some point, the Church in England had Wycliffe’s body exhumed and burnt at the stake.

Ultimately, Luther succeeded because of Gutenberg and the invention of movable type. Now you did not have to make copies by hand. Now Luther could really get the word out. And he wrote the word. During his period of lying low in Wartburg, he translated the Bible into German.  And he published it. It was a big hit although the German population recognized that they had been swindled — financially as well as theologically — and history records a Peasant’s Revolt which was put down with great brutality. We recognize in all this parallels to what is really going on in the establishment’s determination to repress LCHF diets. And everybody recognizes the analog of Gutenberg’s press.

Unser Gutenberg  and the Fettke case

Our Gutenberg is, of course, the internet where technical and scientific writings, once the province of specialists, can now be viewed by many and where they can be discussed widely. Publishers of many journals try to maintain pay-walls in keeping with somebody’s observation that publishers’ function used to be to make new information available while now they work to make information unavailable.  (Many simultaneously cash in on open access which charges the authors outrageous fees). Whether the availability of scientific facts is out-weighed by proliferation of alternative facts is open to question but, on balance, we have a view, not only of the science, but of the inner workings of the health agencies that might otherwise be visible to only a few. And that’s how we have extensive access to the Fettke case and an associated Diet convened by the Australian Senate.

As reported by Marika Sboros, Fettke “cannot tell patients not to eat sugar. Why not? Because the country’s medical regulatory body, Australian Health Practitioners Regulatory Authority (AHPRA), says so….It has been investigating Fettke for more than two years now. That was after the first anonymous complaint from a DAA dietitian in 2014. Earlier this year,  AHPRA told Fettke to stop talking about nutrition until it had decided on a suitable sanction.” and — I’m not making this up — “informed Fettke that it was investigating him for ‘inappropriately reversing (a patient’s) type 2 diabetes…’”

Dr. Gary Fettke testified at an Australian Senate Inquiry on November 1. and just “by coincidence,” a few hours later, AHPRA’s 2 1/2 year investigation came to an end and Fettke was told that he would be constrained from giving nutritional advice.  In the end, this did not sit well with the Senate which undertook further hearing interrogating Martin Fletcher, the CEO of APHRA.

“Haven’t you got better things to do?”

You can see Martin Fletcher trying to defend AHPRA’s actions.  on Youtube. At 31:25, one of the Senators asked “…if a health practitionerr is advising a patient to go on a … sensible, medically-accepted diet program, why would you risk-assess that and have all guns blazing? Haven’t you got better things to do?”

One of life’s great disappointments is that when you finally corner the bad guys, they turn out to be pathetic like Saddam Hussein. They don’t break down on the stand as in the old Perry Mason episodes. It is sad but it is also hard to feel much sympathy.

Martin Fletcher, CEO of AHPRA trying to juggle the truth at the Senate hearing.

“Bread thou art…”

It was a trip to Rome, intended to deepen his faith, that ultimately contributed to Luther’s transformation. He saw corruption on a grand scale but what really freaked him out was that corruption and vice were coupled with a cynical disregard for religious practice. A priest going through the motions of giving the elements in the sacrament  muttered to himself “Bread thou art, and bread thou shalt remain; wine thou art, and wine thou shalt remain.”

That becomes the most distressing feature of this analogy. The quotation above, “There is nothing associated with your medical training or education that makes you an expert or authority in the field of nutrition, diabetes or cancer,” comes from a letter to Dr. Fettke that continued “Even if, in the future, your views on the benefits of the LCHF lifestyle become the accepted best medical practice, this does not change the fundamental fact that you are not suitably trained or educated as a medical practitioner to be providing advice or recommendations on this topic as a medical practitioner.”

This statement that treating disease is less important than loyalty to political power stands as the greatest exposition of the need for Reformation in Medicine.

Appendix. Shakespeare on the Diet of Worms.

Hamlet has been charged by his father’s Ghost with avenging the father’s murder by Claudius, the current king. Hamlet has put on an “antic disposition” to hide his motives. At one point, mistaking him for the King, Hamlet kills Polonius, a pompous court official, who is hiding behind a wall-hanging. The king hears about it and is pissed and wants to know where the body is (Act 4,Scene 3):

CLAUDIUS: Where’s Polonius?

HAMLET: At supper.

CLAUDIUS: At supper where?

HAMLET: Not where he eats, but where he is eaten. A certain convocation of politic worms are e’en [now] at him. Your worm is your only emperor for diet. We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable service—two dishes, but to one table. That’s the end.

CLAUDIUS: Alas, alas!

HAMLET: A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.

CLAUDIUS: What dost thou mean by this?

HAMLET: Nothing but to show you how a king may go a progress through the guts of a beggar.

CLAUDIUS: Where is Polonius?

HAMLET: In heaven. Send hither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him i’ th’ other place yourself. But if indeed you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.

CLAUDIUS (to attendants) Go seek him there.

(Exeunt some attendants)

HAMLET: He will stay till ye come.

Source: https://feinmantheother.com/2017/03/03/stone-walling-low-carb-daa-apha-and-the-diet-of-worms/

[darkdoings]

;; Of Darkest Souls

NOTE: Some possible triggers might be foul language and sexual intercourse.This one took a really long time to do and it’s reeeeally long, haha. I hope this is as equally as enjoyable as the other pieces I did and if you spot any mistakes please let me know so that I can fix it straight away! Thanks! :) <3

                     “. . . And we implore all residents in the L.A area to set a strict curfew for themselves and remain indoors in the hours after daylight.” A masculine, authoritative voice advised through the radio in your vehicle, “We also highly recommend that all doors and windows be locked whether you be at home or out tending to business. We may be a city held captive by the valley-intruder, a sadistic killer; but, we are a city united. Everyone, stay sa—”

                      Simultaneously, as you rounded a corner to enter your neighbourhood, you pinched the volume dial with your index finger && thumb and decreased the sound of your radio to a barely audible chatter. Out of respect for your quiet neighbourhood, you maintained the low volume along the extension of your street in an attempt to avoid rousing unnecessary noise at the late hour. You looked up from your stereo system shortly thereafter and as a routine while driving you glanced in your review mirror. It was much to your surprise that a vehicle not native to your neighbourhood appeared to be closely following behind you and it was deemed suspicious as the headlights were extinguished under the overcast of the NIGHT’s darkness. A knot of unease had formed in the pit of your stomach and instead of pulling into your driveway – which had only been meters away – you detoured down an alternative road adjacent to your street with the intention of losing your suspected STALKER.

                      Your eyes had become more fixated on your review mirror rather than focusing on your actual driving and as a result you had decelerated to a pace that your pursuer had matched without a visible complaint or sign of frustration. When you had returned your attention to weigh more heavily on your driving, you accelerated to a greater speed which the driver in the vehicle following you also maintained. You narrowed your brows and you proceeded to access the situation as being more precarious than you had originally thought because of your suspected STALKER’s determination.

                      With the continued hope that you could eventually elude the other driver you sharply turned various corners; entered && exited several different neighbourhoods; and drove at illegal speeds to discourage the determined driver. All of your antics had been for no avail and as a last resort you had departed from suburbs to instead make your way towards downtown Los Angeles. Unlike the suburbs, the downtown area would be more heavily populated with people and you had a much higher probability of seeking assistance. Or, a much needed distraction to divert the mysterious driver who had been following you at such an uncomfortable proximity.

                      Much to your delight, the vibrant lights illuminating Main Street engulfed your sense of unease and replaced the knot in your stomach with butterflies of optimism. You began to feel less alone and ultimately you could now focus your thoughts on an exit strategy as opposed to succumbing to your fear for the STALKER. Scrutinizing the city surroundings was essential to formulating your plan and your eyes had eventually located a dimly lit coffee shop where you decided to seek refuge. You did not signal into the parking lane and you abruptly rotated your steering wheel to snag a parking spot in attempt to catch the pursuer by surprise. Unfortunately, the opposite driver’s reflexes had been as swift as your own and as a result the STALKER’s vehicle had parked behind yours. You hastily gathered a few of your belongings – purse, money, and keys – while simultaneously watching the pursuer in your review mirror to see how they were responding to the sudden stop. It was difficult to read the expression of the STALKER because of the black spectacles adorned on their face and with the ambition to learn more about the deranged stalker you instantaneously exited your vehicle. Your pursuer remained unmoving as you closed your vehicle’s door behind you and as your head turned to come face-to-face with the pursuer you had identified the individual as being a male.

                      As if to insight peace && invite him to declare a truce on his freakish proclivities, you flashed him a small smile while locking your vehicle’s door and departing to enter the coffee shop. He appeared to have taken his loss in his game of stalking with grace; however, for the extra measure of safety you had maintained your distance from him within the moderately occupied café.

                      Meanwhile, as you busied yourself with making an order for a warm beverage, the STALKER behind the wheel of his vehicle had been fuming at the fact that he had been beaten at his own game. His slender digits tightly coiled around the cylindrical circumference of his steering wheel and his jaw had been visibly clenched as he allowed for his anger to consume him. The smile that you had flashed at him left a definite impression and he had understood it to be an insult to his capabilities. Allowing for his fury to guide his conscious && his actions, he promptly exited his vehicle next and continued to follow you inside of the coffee shop. You were in the midst of vocalizing your order to the barista when suddenly a strong arm wrapped around your shoulders and an overly jubilant voice had cut you off,

                      “Some girly coffee, yeah, whatever.” the perpetrator mused aloud while prying his ebony-coloured shades off of his tanned visage, “None of that bitter shit. Just two bottles of Pepsi.”

                      Astonished by this stranger’s hold on, you began to push away from his towering physique while expressing your distraught, “What? No. I—”

                      The man’s extension around your shoulders tightened and he rolled his eyes while his lips parted to express a toothy smile. All the while, your eyes searched the faces of the few employees for help and despite the unnerving && unorthodox hold that the man had on you the employees seemed to . . . laugh?! You were confused about the conduct and as the man paid for the drinks that he had ordered for the pair of you he had engaged in a conversation with the cashier,

                      “You’re going to drink this place dry, I swear.”

                      “More of a reason to stay well stocked.” The tanned man calmly responded and dropped an addition paper bill on the counter top to provide a tip, “Thanks for the drinks.”

                      After nodding at the baristas && the cashiers, the man picked up both of the bottles with his free hand and turned around – with you still entrapped in his other arm – to the direction of a table away from other guests. You wanted to avoid the manifestation of an embarrassing scene and instead of continuing to fight the grasp of the man you feverishly walked to an unoccupied table with him. The arm that was tightly wound around your shoulders eventually loosened so that you could sit yourself in a chair and once you had been seated he placed his glasses && the beverages upon the tabletop before situating himself on a chair at the opposite end from you. His visage had all emotions absent and he proceeded to nonchalantly slide one of the soda bottles towards you.

                      It took his cringe-worthy performance of the claustrophobic jest for you to realize that he was a favoured local who regularly paid homage to the shop and that you had quite literally lead yourself into the lion’s den. Your situation had become more precarious with no immediate end in sight.

                    Stubbornly, you had refused to touch the drink he had passed off to you and instead of showing thankfulness for his generosity you glared at him. As for your next attempt at eluding the man, you had brought your hands up to the table and with your palms pressed against the surface you were eager to push yourself to stand && take your leave. Once you were in the middle of erecting your posture, he also brought his arms up to rest upon the tabletop and in your peripheral vision you noticed that he had discreetly produced a pistol. He leaned his weight onto the table to assert his presence and when he was certain that you had seen his barely concealed weapon, he spoke,

                      “That’s right.” He hissed with hostility, “So how about you just sit the fuck down and have a drink with ME.”

                      The fear of being shot had chilled you to your core and you obliged with his instructions to pacify his aggressions. Once you had reseated yourself, you followed up with a barrage of inquiries.

                      “Do I know you? Do you know me? Why were you even following me? And why can’t you just leave me alone?”

                      “I was going to leave you alone.” He admitted and simultaneously twisted the cap off of his bottle as he continued on, “But then you pulled that little stunt  — it pissed ME off.”

                      “What stunt?”

                      “This.” The man speedily answered and flashed a toothy, congenial smile at you.

                      It took a moment for you to grasp onto what he was alluding to and once you figured it out you were quick to defend your actions, “I smiled out of kindness . . . it’s your fault you misinterpreted it.”

                      “It’s your fault that it pissed ME off.”

                      Reasoning with a sickly deranged man held no satisfactory results for you and your eyes had began to wander around the shop as you planned the fastest route to flee the café. His demented gaze followed yours and his shoulders shook as he chuckled at your expense; the desperation you were expressing was somehow a joke to him.

                      “No matter how fast you think you can run, you cannot outrun the consequences.” The ominous male mused aloud while tracing his fingertip along the trigger of his gun.

                      “Consequences?”

                      “Yeah, I mean, it’ll be you or them.” He shrugged carelessly while reaching for his bottle with his free hand once again to take another swig of the sugary contents, “Kind of fun having that power over life and death, huh?”

                      “So either way, I’m fucked.” You sternly hissed back and furrowed your brows to express agitation, “Loads of fun.”

                      “It can be,” He quickly followed up as his eyes seemed to illuminate subsequent to your sarcastic notion while his hand retracted from his bottle and disappeared under the table where he feathered his touch along the flesh of your leg, “—getting fucked, I mean. Now there is an idea.”

                      An uncomfortable silence fell between the both of you after he had taken the original meaning of your words and twisted them to fill a space in his unrelenting agenda. You astonished yourself by genuinely deliberating the potential third course of action and to encourage a speedy decision he boldly traced his long digits further up your thigh. To keep his interests, you detoured your hand beneath the tabletop and took his large hand into your smaller one. He seemed to be surprised by your display of random affection and under the assumption that you were playing a trick on him he made sure to flash the sight of his pistol a second time as a reminder of the consequences laying in your midst. In response to his overly cautious threat, you rolled your eyes, leaned in close to him, and whispered in his ear,

                      “The Cecil?” You proposed a location while pointing out of the shop’s window towards the beige building situated several blocks away.

                      His gaze followed the direction in which you had been pointing in and he nodded while the faintest glow of a smirk accented his facial features. Before rising to his feet, he maneuvered his grasp from within your hand to your wrist where he had securely taken hold of you. He made it evident that any emotional interest was absent and that your involvement together was purely physical — something the both of you could agree to.

                      The journey from the coffee shop towards Hotel Cecil was a quiet one and he lead with one firm step in front of the other; he paid little attention to the struggle you were putting up to keep pace with his long-legged strides. You also noted the way in which he had seemed to be familiar with the hotel’s surroundings as you neared the building and once entering you thought it had been strange when he had insisted that you pay for the room. The excuse that he had offered up involved paying for the drinks just moments ago and that it was only fair that you covered the cost of a temporary room at the hotel. You digressed at his poor logic and ended up paying for the room as it was only temporarily.

                      From the beautifully crafted marble lobby towards the location of the cheaply bought room, you and the man ventured into the depths of Hotel Cecil.  You fidgeted with the room key in your hands during the period of awkward silence and he walked alongside you while his hands were nonchalantly stuffed into the pockets of his obsidian-coloured, leather jacket. Not long after your departure from the main entrance, you both had arrived at the door of your room and you fumbled to unlock the mechanism while he nosily peered over your shoulder.

                      You entered the room first once you had gained access and he followed behind you to inspect the surroundings as you busied yourself with closing && relocking the door. In a brief moment when you had faltered in your decision to be with this man, you prolonged the task of relocking the door. He suspected that you had a motive for your procrastination and he swatted your hand away so that he could speedily complete the task himself. As he tossed the key aside on a nearby surface, you had taken the opportunity to maneuver yourself around him so that you stood directly behind him.

                      You had prevented him from turning around to face you by placing the palms of your hands upon his shoulders and once he had slightly turned his head to evaluate your advances you simultaneously traveled your hands to the collar of his jacket. Between your index fingers && your thumbs, the material slightly bundled up and curled down as you began to peel the piece of attire off of his frame. He aided you in the endeavor by shrugging his shoulders and in due time the jacket had fallen to the floor around your feet. Without presenting him a moment to move just yet, your hands then found a new location on his physique and your fingertips glided along the hemming of the lowest end of his shirt. You then proceeded to roll up the length of his shirt and with the intention of prolonging his vulnerability you ghosted the chilled ends of your fingertips along the bronzed flesh of his back. Much to your delight, you had been rewarded with feeling him shudder at your teasing touch and you could not help but smirk at his reaction. You thoroughly valued the control you had over the situation; however, you remained gentle and stood on the tips of your toes to finish removing his shirt up & over his head without causing him discomfort. Successfully, you had exposed his torso and you took a greedy moment to marvel at the lean structure of his body.

                      He had grown suspicious of why you had ceased in your advances and he spontaneously rotated 180-degrees on his heels to face you. The space between you both had been promptly closed and he had placed each of his large hands on your cheeks before pressing a hard kiss too your lips. You stumbled a few steps back subsequent to the velocity that his lips had assaulted you at and your hands abruptly clutched onto his shoulders to keep yourself from collapsing. Intimacy soon collided with pain once his teeth nibbled carnivorously on your bottom lip; shortly before separating from the kiss his teeth had pierced a small surface of your lip’s skin and the coppery flavour of your blood tainted both of your pallets.

                      “Your turn.” He growled with a sexual appetite that he yearned to be fulfilled.

                      You nodded with equal interest and turned your back to him so that you could begin to remove each layer of your attire – beginning with pieces adorning your torso. While you were in the midst of pulling your shirt up && over your head, you could hear him undoing his pants and it encouraged you to make haste. He granted you extra time in removing your remaining apparel by igniting a dim lamp on the nightstand and flicking a different switch to extinguish the ceiling light. With the ambiance set, you stood next to the bed and you both shared a moment to stare at one another to admire the nakedness of your bodies.

                      You gestured for him to come to you by crooking your index finger in a ‘come hither’ motion and in the moments succeeding your invitation he came to you in a few swift strides. As you collided with one another, his arms enveloped your body and in return your hands rested on his chest. You had achieved some leverage and as your hands were against his chest you pushed against him until you had both collapsed onto the bed in a position where he lay beneath you. The man looked up at you with uncertainty woven in his expression and you abruptly leaned down to him to press a reassuring kiss to his lips.

                      You knew he would have wished for the positions to be reversed; however, you were set in your ways and you had the intention of pushing his boundaries further. From his lips to his jaw-line and then along his collarbone to his neck, you had peppered his bronze flesh with a barrage of kisses. Your lips then detoured from his neck along his torso towards his midsection until you had straightened your back while concurrently straddling his narrow waist. It took a few additional readjustments before you had been properly situated near his hips where his erected member had slipped into the intimate folds between your thighs.

                      You were sitting up in the middle of the bed where you were illuminated by the lamp on the night table and the light attractively infused your skin with a warm glow, as if you had been dipped in honey. Slowly, his hands traveled up your thighs then suddenly rounded to your backside where he had taken hold of your buttocks and at his urging you began to circle your hips atop his. You turned your back to all of your morals and any regrets you might have still had entirely vanished as you relished in the moment’s gratification.

                      As you straddled your supine lover, you began to ride him more vigorously and the toned muscles of your shoulders, back, and arms tensed to keep you on balance. Your locks of hair began to swing – like a pendulum across your back – in rhythm with your motions while the unnamed man lay passively beneath you, groaning in pleasure and exhaustion, with his head thrown back against the mattress. The sharpness of his crookedly trimmed nails slightly pierced your skin as his grip tightened on your rear and you reached out to brace yourself against his chest for a moment. Inspired, a pleasurable stirring evolved between your legs and both of you released gasps of mounting ecstasy.

                      Your cries of euphoria grew louder and more urgent - joining with those of the man below you – as he lets go a howl of ecstatic release. A small laugh filled with delight escaped you upon witnessing his abandon and shortly after a final sort gasp of your own was followed up with a long, low moan of pleasure. Your jaw went slack, your lips were parted, and your chin was ascended heavenward in your euphoric abandon. Both of your hearts had been beating as a result of your sensual efforts and in order to compose yourself you collapsed onto the bed beside him.

                      Neither you nor he cared to engage in additional acts of affection and when you had both recovered you redressed yourselves in your respective garb.  You had gotten what you wanted from him and he had gotten what he wanted from you; together you unanimously decided to depart from Hotel Cecil. The only display of fondness exhibited was holding hands, as per your request, to look like a couple while you exited the room && the building. You kept your eyes on the sky during the venture back to your vehicles and the sparkle from the stars above beautifully reflected off of your eyes. The NIGHT sky was always a charming sight to behold and opposite you the man thought your behaviour to be strange. As if to mock your interest, he nudged your shoulder to get your attention and he chuckled as he spoke,

                      “Scared of the dark, or something?”

                      “No,” you truthfully answered.

                      “Hoping to wish on a falling star than?”

                      “No.” You repeated.

                      He rolled his eyes in response to your boring answers and in an attempt to keep his interest you quickly provided a better answer, “I just like the NIGHT – the dark – you know? I would rather be a NIGHT STALKER instead of a Day Walker.”

                      His attention had been successfully garnered and he turned his head to look at you while he studied your answer. There had been something specific about your answer that made him smirk in thought and it had rendered him silent up until reaching your parked vehicles where you had exchanged a short goodbye.

                      Once seating yourself inside your car, you adjusted your seatbelt && ignited the engine of your vehicle and when you looked up to check your mirrors you noticed he had already moved his car beside yours. The man had pulled up parallel to you and he lowered the passenger window of his car. He then leaned over to the passenger seat while he waited for you to lower your car’s window and when you did he had devilishly smiled at you before speaking,

                      “I like that – a NIGHT STALKER. It sounds better than being dubbed the ‘Valley-Intruder’.”      

                                                        —— I want it all or

                                                                                                        NOT at all.

[foursproutwealth-blog]

The Definitive Guide to Chatbots: These Bots Are Here to Serve.

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/the-definitive-guide-to-chatbots-these-bots-are-here-to-serve/

The Definitive Guide to Chatbots: These Bots Are Here to Serve.

No, they’re not sci-fi robots. They’re computer programs that interact with your customers and earn you sky-high approval ratings.

April 27, 2018 16 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Over the past two years, chatbots — or technology-fueled virtual assistants — have taken the world by storm.

At first, chatbots were merely a computer-based service that could undertake various customer service tasks. And in that regard, they were a welcome leap forward.

But, in recent years, chatbots, or “bots” for short, have morphed into exceptionally intelligent computer programs able to assist companies with essential tasks ranging from marketing and human resources functions to sales efforts.

However, while these technology assistants have already made their mark in the business world, many people still don’t fully understand their capabilities, limitations and many functionalities. That’s the reason behind this basic guide: to highlight the different types of chatbots, how they work and how you can create your own artificial intelligence (AI)-powered virtual assistant.

So, without further ado, let’s learn about … chatbots.

Related: How to Create a Facebook Messenger Chatbot For Free Without Coding

The basics

What are chatbots? Chatbots are computer programs capable of conducting conversations by text and auditory communication. Programs simulate how a human conversation would proceed. Chatbots can include text — the response you received to your customer service inquiry — as well as audio and video.

Though chatbots are also robots, there’s no three-dimensional physical presence equivalent to the sci-fi variety or to factory or police robots. Instead, chatbots’ power stems from either set scripts (a technology known as “rules”), or artificial intelligence.

Regardless of their power source, bots can perform a wide variety of tasks without human help. Siri and Alexa are well-known examples of virtual bots; but you’ve also likely encountered customer-service chatbots in a pop-up chat window on your favorite ecommerce site. (See those three dots and the appearance of someone typing? That’s probably a bot.)

So, whether you’re making a restaurant reservation for this weekend, scheduling next week’s calendar event or sending out personalized promotions to your customers, chatbots can free you from these mundane tasks. They offer practically unlimited opportunities for better and faster customer service, and for the quick, easy accomplishment of tasks.

Related: There’s a Lot More to AI Than Just Chatbots

Where do you obtain a chatbot? A chatbot can be easily created through various means, whether you build the bot yourself using your coding knowledge or hire someone to build it for you. Today, it’s easier than ever to add a bot to your website, and many companies out there are ready to build you an excellent bot for less cost than you might  think.

The most important factor here is that chatbots can simulate human-like conversations (text or audio) with your customers. Thanks to the technology that powers them, virtual assistants can communicate in natural language and even speak multiple languages, sometimes without the recipient even realizing it. Because of their versatility, chatbots have been integrated into a variety of business models, allowing them to address many business pain points.

A brief history of chatbots

Chatbots aren’t new. In fact, they first appeared as far back as 1966, at the debut of Joseph Weizenbaum’s ELIZA — a robot able to mimic human conversation by matching user prompts to scripted responses. In 1972, PARRY was created by Stanford’s Kenneth Colby, followed by Jabberwacky in 1988, by Britain’s Rollo Carpenter. Finally, there was ALICE in 1995.

ALICE, which stands for Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, was the first natural language-processing (NLP) chatbot. Richard Wallace’s ALICE bot was so strong that it went on to win the Loebner Prize.

Since then, we’ve seen IBM’s Watson, Apple’s Siri, Google Now, Amazon’s Alexa, bots for Facebook Messenger and Tay — all of which have enabled companies to capitalize on the growth of chatbot technology for business purposes. Today, chatbots are available on virtually any social media messaging platform, as well as on websites and in appliances.

Related: Top 10 Best Chatbot Platform Tools to Build Chatbots for Your Business

The two main forms chatbots take

While customer service is the widest use of these intelligent machines, today’s versions come in two forms:

Rule-based chatbots. Rule-based or “scripted” chatbots are still out there, but they’re losing popularity because of their AI-powered counterparts. Rule-based bots can answer questions based on a specific script with which they’ve been programmed to communicate. These scripts can be very complex or extremely simple, but the choice is up to the creator.

Artificial intelligence-powered chatbots. Chatbots powered by AI, natural language processing (NLP) and machine learning, on the other hand, have the ability to learn as they communicate. This means that every interaction they have makes them progressively more intelligent.

Not only are they empowered by conversations with humans, but chatbots that use AI to communicate are integrated with analytical platforms and application programming interfaces (APIs) which talk to the chatbot’s technology; that in turn provides the end user with the answers to his or her questions.

Why chatbots are important

You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal with chatbots?” The answer is that consumers today are using social media messaging applications like Facebook Messenger more than they are social networks. Companies that want to stay ahead of the curve should take note, as those messaging applications are now the preferred communication method instead of phone calls, text messages and emails. 

In short, you need to focus your marketing efforts on those areas of the digital realm where your audiences are most likely to be — inside messaging apps. 

Related: 10 Ways AI and Chatbots Reduce Business Risks

Their “virtually” unlimited functionalities

Chatbots have a virtually limitless number of functionalities. You’ve probably already encountered bots as an intermediary for purchases or a means for answering a company’s FAQs. But bots can offer so much more to the end-user. Specifically, as the technology that powers them continues to grow, these AI-powered machines can:

In addition, chatbots can:

Give companies the gift of extra time. The business world has become so fast-paced that keeping up is challenging for even the largest, most established organizations in the world. Chatbots can help: They can perform customer support and marketing, HR, IT and various other functions more quickly, and often more accurately, than humans.

Aside from decreasing the time it takes a company to communicate with each online customer, chatbots make a company available to its audience 24/7. As a result, this new technology saves you, the business owner, time and money on human resources.

Related: Learning to Work With Robots Is How You Can Save Your Job

Give an added level of personalization. In addition to acting as personal agents across the entirety of a company, chatbots have the ability to offer a level of personalization that until recently only a human could offer. Specifically, organizations now have the ability to tailor chatbots to their specific business needs, in order to:

What else chatbots can do

Another thing chatbots can do is take on various roles within an organization:

Become your virtual assistant. From helping you with shopping to acting as your personal secretary, a chatbot is the perfect virtual assistant. Bots can undertake a variety of tasks by syncing with users’ mobile and computer applications to:

Related: 4 Essentials for Building a Well-Mannered Customer-Service Chatbot

Act as your marketing or sales executive. Not only can chatbots help you cut down on email exchanges, unnecessary meetings and various online searches, they can actually act as your marketing executive.

This means the ability to undertake major marketing tasks like pushing personalized offers to social media users on demand, and taking orders directly from social media platforms and websites. Bots can also help you market your product or service more aggressively, cross-selling and upselling products based on your users’ shopping histories. And they can push customers through the sales funnel.

Chatbots can give you …

A far greater reach for your marketing communications and customer service. In the customer-service realm, chatbots make your company available to a wider range of customers across the globe than humans alone could reach. And, obviously, they’re available to your audience members all day, every day, whatever their time zone.

What’s more, adding a chatbot to your website and social media platforms means customer inquiries can be handled neatly and quickly. They can be answered, by chatbots, in multiple languages.

And, should a customer engage your bot when the company is closed, he or she can still get help with account details or issues, rectify most complaints and check an order’s status. (Yes, we’ve heard all the jokes about how chatbots work for cheap and skip coffee breaks.)

Related: Chatbots Are the Next Big Platform. Here’s How Entrepreneurs Can Stay on Top of It

Assistance with internal communications. A lesser-known feature of chatbots is their ability to help with internal communications between teams. Instead of having to struggle with back-and-forth emails and unnecessary meetings, teams from HR, IT and other departments can hand tasks over to their friendly chatbot.

Gone are the days when employees had to shadow HR personnel for information about their paychecks and holiday leave. Instead, companies can now institute a chatbot — like Slack — to act as an internal communication channel, to enable staffers to find out how many holiday days they have left this year. Employees can use this same service to book days off, find out about their company’s bonuses, obtain information regarding an IT problem and much more.

The ability to act as idea-generation tools. Data is leading the digital economy today. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to fully understand our customers’ needs and pain points. However, in addition to gathering this data, we need to be able to transform it into something of value. And chatbots can make that happen.

Because AI-powered chatbots can learn — and grow — from every interaction they have and the data they gather, they offer companies cognitive solutions to a huge variety of problems. Empowered by this data, bots can adapt when market trends change, as well as improve a company’s performance, as data continues to flood in.

Automation of a company’s processes. Above all, chatbots have the ability to automate a huge variety of your business processes, saving you time and money on various resources. With less focus on mundane and repetitive daily asks, these bots leave more space for innovation, allowing you as leader to stay ahead of your competition every step of the way.

Related: 10 Ways to Use Chatbots for Marketing and Sales

Data analysis capbility. Thanks to the growth of intelligent algorithms and the automation of data collection, chatbots have the ability to perform data analysis, then share the results in the form of comprehensive reports specific to a company’s departments.

Such analysis allows a company to determine the profitability of various business paths and improve upon them over time.

“Messenger is interactive and engaging; that’s why we consider it an ‘adventure,'” Johnson explained in an interview. By marrying Messenger and chatbots, she said, customer service has taken a giant leap beyond the bad old days of email marketing. The reason, she said, is that “Messenger is interactive, whereas email is passive.

“[The customer] can read the email and maybe click on a link,” Johnson said of the email way of doing customer service.”But you [the business] don’t get to react to what the person is saying.” That’s where those interactive adventures — and chatbots — enter the picture.

They’re there to make the customer experience something more akin to talking with a real human being. 

“The reason Messenger is unique,” Johnson continued, “is that there are programs that deliver these [marketing messages], so I don’t have to go in and actually code the chatbot myself; you need a technologist to code it. There are companies that have developed platforms, like a Mailchimp or a Fusionsoft specifically for Facebook Messenger.

“That’s the whole reason this is a crazy-amazing thing right now. I can show you statistic after statistic of my clients’ results. I have over 30 clients, currently, with open rates of 80 to 100 percent.”

Contrast that, Johnson said, with an email list you first have to buy — a list which might produce, according to industry sources, at best a 30 percent open rate and a 5 percent click-through rate.

Johnson said she also appreciates how Messenger users have to opt in to receive messages. “I can’t just send them to you without your permission,” she pointed out. What’s more, bots can do more than just help create sales. A client of Johnson’s, for instance, a plastic surgeon, uses a bot merely to chat with people making initial inquiries.

“We’re not selling anything through the bot,” Johnson explained. “We just want to get the person comfortable enough to share a phone number or email to take this relationship further.” That’s why bots can be viewed as “nurturing” tools as well as selling ones, she said.

A typical transaction with Messenger Funnels? Johnson explained that her Folsom, Calif.-based company uses chatbots tied to her clients’ Facebook Business pages. To communicate with the client, she uses Trello and folders shared via Google Drive.

Another client of Johnson’s, named Alison J. Prince, illustrates how bots can help. Prince markets what she calls her “0-100K” online webinar (educating entrepreneurs on how to get started in ecommerce); she’s also selling a fullscale online course. Each week, Prince reaches out to prospective customers via a new Facebook Live, offering helpful tips on how to start a business, with titles like “The 15 biggest business mistakes I’ve made so far.”

Some viewers will likely want to respond. Prince solicits those responses by offering pdfs — about business mistakes or another topic — in return for their comments. Once a viewer comments, he or she has officially opted in to Messenger. Once the viewer shows continued interest in Prince’s advice … the chatbots take over.

Operating via ManyChat and Chatfuel software, the bots schmooze with those customers, hopefully drawing them in to signing up for a webinar, then maintaining the connection by reminding buyers of the webinar date and time  (“Hey! Your webinar starts in 10 minutes!” “Hey! Can’t wait to see you!”)

“It’s as if we’re communicating with them in Messenger,” Johnson pointed out. But, she rejected the notion that she might be fooling the customer: “We very clearly tell them, ‘This is the Alison bot,'” she said.

In the end, Johnson said, chatbots work far better than email — so much so that Alison Prince has seen her subscriber base in Messenger jump from 500 on January 1 (this year, 2018), to 3,400 subscribers just three months later. Most impressively, Johnson said, Prince has a 97 percent “open” rate for her messages and a 30 percent click-through rate to her webinar. Twenty percent of her Messenger subscribers who have watched that webinar have purchased the online course. 

In contrast, less than 5 percent of email subscribers who have watched the webinar have bought it.

Johnson, meanwhile, who’s been a serial entrepreneur since 2003 when she started out with an online maternity store called MommyLove (still in business), says she’s really found her “passion” with chatbots — and with forging those marketing communication “adventures” for clients.

“This Messenger business, as you can imagine, is all young males,” added this entrepreneur, who is obviously female, and 65. She laughed. “They’ve given me the nickname ‘Chat Mom,'” she said. 

“So I had to go get that domain.”

A “mind map,” which MessengerFunnels creates for each client.

Image credit: Mary Katherine Johnson/MessengerFunnels

Related: The Next Addition to Your Marketing Department Should Be a Chatbot

Chatbots’ limitations

While chatbots have made their mark as indispensable tools for a litany of reasons, they’re still moderately new to the business world, and come with their own set of limitations — most of which are expected to be overcome in the near future.

One of the key reasons these machines are not yet perfect is the technological restraints of AI and machine learning. The technology is still evolving, setting limits on how much these robots can really accomplish. But, the development of chatbot technology is on a continuum, meaning that the need for human supervision of bots has steadily diminished.

Another reason bots fail is that some businesses try to make chatbots with too much personality. Take the (infamous) example of “Tay,” described by The Verge in a March 2016 article titled “Twitter taught Microsoft’s AI chatbot to be a racist a–hole in less than a day” (the “a–hole” being my addition). 

Ninety-six thousand tweets later, Microsoft dove in to delete the worst of Tay’s comments.

Yet, despite the ha-ha moment generated by the notion of a software service reduced to Nazi statements, there was a serious question that Tay raised. As The Verge wrote of the bot’s downfall: “It’s a joke, obviously, but there are serious questions to answer, like, how are we going to teach AI using public data without incorporating the worst traits of humanity?”

No one so far has had an answer.

Related: What Is a Slackbot and How Can You Use It to Make Money?

While technological issues remain to be solved, chatbots overall have changed, for the better, the way consumers and businesses interact. They allow companies to be interconnected with their audiences 24 hours a day, seven days a week, opening up new opportunities for the ecommerce world.

And that bodes well for entrepreneurs, who, being only human, sometimes need (and deserve) a break.