#this is more old art and im pleased to say i still have a redesign of him to avoid the shirt

[trashpuppyy]

i redesigned him just to avoid drawing shirt collars

[straighttohellbuddy]

YOUR TECHNO COSPLAY I AM SCREAMING. SO VERY FERAL. ITS SO GOOD!!!! -🐈‍⬛

HELLO FRIEND IT IS MY PRIDE AND ABSOLUTE FUCKING JOY!!!! IM FINALLY SO PLEASED WITH HOW IT TURNED OUT!!! IM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW VAIN IM ABOUT TO BE BUT IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS FOR AGES

now i was going to put this further down but i really want to explain what im pretty sure is my biggest unique design choice and why i am FERAL about it, and it's the crown, the literal Bejewelled, Gilded, Crown of Thorns

Description pulled straight from wikipedia: 'The image of the crown of thorns is often used symbolically to contrast with earthly monarchical crowns.' and in explaining how it was used against Jesus 'to cause him pain and to mock his claim of authority'

So obviously techno's minecraft skin has a crown and that's the basis for it; my cosplay had to have a crown, but in the SMP he's a chaotic anarchist, it's his core ideal!

so it's a REMINDER, to himself and to all those who see it; no kings, no government, no one person should reasonably claim authority over a land. no matter how pretty it looks its always a crown of thorns.

IM FERAL AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT CRITICISM ON THIS DESIGN CHOICE

ANYWAYS NOW I HAVE TO FINALLY PROPERLY THANK THE ARTISTS WHO ARE THE REASON THIS COSPLAY LOOKS AS GOOD AS IT DOES

TOP OF THE LIST BAYBEEE @wolfythewitch 's Techno design which was the one that I initially saw and felt the need to cosplay, and their redesign too!!

Things from their design I want to point out in my cosplay that are SPECIFIC homages:

THE BOOTS THE BOOTS THE BOOTS I LITERALLY WOVE MY GOLD EMBROIDERY THREAD INTO SUITABLE LACES THIS YEAR BECAUSE THE OLD ONES WERE TOO YELLOW AND I LOVE THE RICH GOLD MORE

their design is specifically why i use the sclera contacts!!! i feel like its such a striking and unique design detail i knew that my techno cosplay had to have them!! (should also note that it was incredibly difficult to see out of but I still say it's worth it)

the shirt and the red jewelled bolo tie!! love it!!

and the other piece of art that heavily influenced my cosplay was @that-sweet-jester 's FLUFFY HAIR POG piece specifically, like you can see in my version from last year how flat my wig was, but this piece had my whole entire heart and I knew i needed to replicate the volume and style, so i spent HOURS steaming and combing and i put the whole wig in rollers and steamed it with the help of a drag tutorial and fluffed it and it took SO MUCH EFFORT but im SO PLEASED with how it turned out!!! Also their techno has a plethora of gold piercings and pointy ears and as someone with a ton of piercings I LOVED that and so when I put on my prosthetic ears, several of the piercings go through several of my own piercing holes to anchor the prosthetic, including my stretched lobe, which i don't think you really see a lot of :)

but ahhhh let me just ramble about the details for a little bit because the devil was SO in the details and I finally got it to look the way I wanted to!!!

the vibe of the outfit was very much backed on SAD-ist's Hog Hunt animation which gives me chills every time I watch it, and i just want to give off the same vibes as Hog Hunt with my cosplay, and a lot of the little details literally allude to my techno being specifically from when he was being hunted by the Butcher Army:

POTIONS; splash potions of strength, invisibility, and regeneration. i screenshotted from techno's butcher army vod to make sure i had the correct ones. i think i'm going to do proper labels for them so they also say the specific effect. but im happy as fuck with them for now!! Notes: they are remote control light up, and have chameleon powder in them that doesn't disolve in water, which means they look good when I'm still and the powder is settled at the bottle and the light shines through the coloured water, and they look good when I'm walking and not lit up because when they're shaken-

TOTEM OF UNDYING; gold leaf added around the eyes and his little hands, he used to light up but his batteries are unfortunately dead and there's literally no way for me to replace them but he looks good anyways. SO MUCH HOT GLUE

CAPE it used to have a hood but I removed it and kept the fur trim, I also removed the tie that kept it on and added some thin, curved, sturdy wood into the collar so it would keep its shape and not fall off. I bought the cape itself on aliexpress and it came with the gold beading which is an homage to the gold OF on his mc skin without adding an OF... tho I might for next year. And I definitely want to make the trim thicker and neater for next time

The gold chain fastners/ornaments on the cloak near the collar are little tridents !!

the other creator I have to pay respect to is @poodwattle (yes the one who creates all the sick as hell DSMP weapons) as his Orphan Obliterator from last year is the reason I used chameleon powder to make my own look enchanted!! the only part of the sword that i am not responsible for is the base of the blade, but the handle is 100% my creation, as is the handle and pommel, as well as the painting and detailing. each of the sigils on the sword is a real sigil that i found on witchblr but have unfortunately lost the originators of, but i wanna explain the sigils and their connections to the enchantments on the sword:

Fire Aspect II (sets target on fire) - SIGIL: I am connected to the element of fire.

Sharpness V (increases attack damage dealt to mobs) - SIGIL: Destruction & Revenge

Sweeping Edge III (increases damage of sweep attack) - SIGIL: Radiate Power

Unbreaking III (increases durability of item, in effect, by decreasing the chance of the tool, weapon, or armor taking durability damage when used) - SIGIL: I am Unbreakable.

time is the only reason i didn't add Mending and Looting III but i think im going to try and add them before my next outing, as well as a few modifications to the handle itself, but overall i'm so fucking pleased. the blood was probably the hardest part about it and im so glad it looks the way it does!!

the blue holds a very special place in my heart as i didn't actually make it, but in fact, my darling friend @vxidpxnk made it and gave it to me as ender's working on a ghostbur cosplay and im sentimental

other detail-y bits i want to mention

thigh bag - i literally had this laying around the house before i even wanted to cosplay techno but i think it works so well

finger armour and rings!! i just love the vibe, so the finger armour on my non-sword hand and rings on the sword hand :)

TEEF!!!! made from thermal plastic i realised it was fucking difficult to use the hot water method to change and mold the shape once i was happy with how it fit on my tooth so once i got a general idea and a good tooth fit i let it cool outside of my mouth and literally carved it to the final desired shape with a heated scalpel and im SO PLEASED!! do you know how hard it is to make protruding bottom tusks when you have an overbite? BECAUSE I DO

i want to make a stylised pickaxe for if i ever take this cosplay out again, but in the meantime im finishing beekeeper tubbo and designing my HUGE FUCK OFF DREAMXD cosplay that is going to be more work than techno was and already im both exhausted and excited.

ANYWAYS thank you if you made it this far, ive just put so much time and effort in and have been wanting to tell people able the details and inspiration for a very long time,,,,,,

[httprosalie]

( 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 , 𝐜𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ) have you seen 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 ? i heard 𝐒𝐇𝐄 is 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐄𝐑 at 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐅𝐄. they’re 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 𝟐 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒. they tend to be 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇-𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃 & 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆, but rumor has it they can also be 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 & 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒.  @foolsstarters​

me  again  ,  feel  free  to  read  up  on  her  or  im  happy  to  summarise  ...  for  anyone  who  knows  rose  ,  it’s  the  same  recycled  intro  minus  the  second  to  last  para  in  the  bg  part  so  you  don’t  have  to  read  it  all  <3

❛    ˚    ♡    𝒊.     𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 …

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆:  rosalie  moon  . 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔:  rosie  mainly  ,  rosa  and  rose  (  but  you  have  to  be  real  special  for  her  to  let  you  call  her  this  one  )  . 𝒂𝒈𝒆:  twenty  three 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚:  bisexual . 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉:    14th  december  1997 . 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉:   manhattan  ,  new  york 𝒆𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:  graduated  highschool  and  went  to  culinary  school 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏:   owner  of  the  sunrise  cafe 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔, 𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 & 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒔:  drinks  occassionally  𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄:  saggittarius 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔:  ambitious ,  adventurous , benevolent , composed ,  direct , honest ,  independent , jaunty , mysterious , perceptive , spontaneous , versatile ,  open-minded  and  zany . 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔: clumsy ,  weak-willed  ,  naive  ,  credulous  ,  impatient  &  indecisive  𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚:  amy santiago  ( brooklyn  nine  nine ) , josie  saltzman  ( legacies ) , pam  beesly  (  the  office )  &  phoebe  buffay  and  monica  geller ( friends ) .

❛    ˚    ♡    𝒊𝒊.     𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 …

        born  in  the  heart  of  the  city  ,  rosalie  was  born  to   sung-ho  and  sera  moon  one  cold  decembers  morning  .  her  father is  currently  a  plastic  surgeon  with  his  own  practice  while   her  mother  is  a  socialite  essentially  and  former  tennis  player .  their  careers  couldn’t   have  been  more  different  but  they  made  it  work  ,  eventually   marrying  and  giving  birth  to  rosalie  .  

        with  her  father’s  practice  just  starting  up  at  the  time  of  her  birth  ,  they  were  somewhat  average at  the  time  ,  living  a  fairly  normal  life  and  so  rosalie   was  never  spoilt  and  didn’t   grow  up  surrounded  by  everything   she  could  possibly  dream  off  .  instead  ,  it  took  years   before  the  practice  actually  made  any  profits  .  all  it  took  was  one  celebrity  to  be   spotted  leaving  the  place  and  business  sky  rocketed  from  there .  the  practice  was  full  for  months  at  a  time  with  limited   appointments  and  celebs  willing  to  pay  ridiculous  prices  to   just  be  seen  and  so  it  was  no  surprise  that  as  popularity  increased  so  did  the  moon’s  wealth  .  

        the  family  were  quick  to  relocate  into  a  newer  and  much   deserved  bigger  home  ,  boasting  more  bedrooms  than  they  ever   needed  but  that  didn’t  matter  because  they’d  earned  their   place  among  the  rich  and  wealthy  in  new  york  .  rosalie’s   mother  began  to  spend  most  of  her  time  socialising  and   meeting   with  the  high  ranking  neighbours  and  her  father  was   continously  working  hard  to  maintain  the  life  they  were  still   adjusting  to  .  as  a  result  ,  rosalie  was  left  to   her  own   devices  ,  free  to  do  as  she   pleased  and  take  up  whatever   she  liked  to  the  pass  the  time  .

        art  was  one  of  her  first  discoveries  ,  realising  that  she   enjoyed  painting  ,  liked  the  serenity  of  making  something  come to  life  and  she  often  filled  the  bedrooms  with  her  framed   artwork  .  this  quickly  stopped  once  she  hit  her  teen  years  .

         it  was  one  afternoon  alone  when  she  had  to  cook  for  herself  that  she  realised  that was  what  she  wanted  to  do  .  food  made  most  people  content   and  she  wanted  to  do  exactly  that  ,  to  please  people  with   her  food  and  so  after  some convincing  ,  her  mother  set  her   up  with  some  critics  who  gave  her  advice  she’d  never  forget   .  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  your  name  and  food  out  there .  and  so  that’s  exactly  what  she  did  .  she’d  spent  hours   in  the  kitchen  ,  pouring  her  heart  and  soul  into  her  food   to  then  give  it  to  those  who  needed  it  .

         diving into  her  own  savings  ,  rosalie  chose  to  relocate  and  leave  new  york  ,  quickly  realising  that  the  popular  city  was  full  of  aspiring  chefs  and  she  knew  she’d  never  stand  a  chance  there  so  move  to  san  verto  follows  .  it’s  by  chance  that  the  sunrise  cafe  happens  to  be  up  for  sale  and  after  3  viewings  ,  she  takes  it  .  taking  full  responsibility  for  the  redesigning  of  the  quaint  cafe  and  eventual  reopening  .  everything  on  the  menu  ,  from  cakes  to  sandwiches  are  all  her  own  creations  and  where  possible  she  tries  to  make  everything  from  scratch  .

          she’s  currently   doing  a  small  side  project  whereby  she  teaches  young  kids  how  to   cook  and  bake  because  she's  a  firm  believer  it's  a  skill   most  kids  should  have  .  especially  if  they're  left  to  their   own  devices  like  she  was  .  she  dedicates  3  days  a  week  to  her  teaching  at  the  café  and  can  mostly  be  found  at  there  .

❛    ˚    ♡    𝒊𝒊𝒊.     𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 …

        she  is  very  soft  ,  basically  a  sweetheart  and  will   definitely  let  things  slide  unless  said  things  concern  her   friends  or  family  ,  then  she’ll  have  a  stern  word  or  two  to say  about  it  .

         big  believer  in   second  chances  …  within  reason  .  she’s  the  kinda  person  to   see  the  best  in  everyone  until   they  give  her  a  reason  not   to  .

         loves  people  and  socialising  and   conversations  about  something  and  nothing

         is  probably  the  kinda  friend  to  turn  up  with  muffins  or  whatever  concoction  she  decided  to  bake  .

         has  two  pomeranian  puppies  called  chewie  and  han  who  she  adores  more  than  anything  in  the  world  and  yes  she’s  a  star  wars  fan  :/

       is  very  loyal  and  a  very  trustworthy  friend  ,  will  do  anything  for  those  she  loves  without  question           all  in  all  the  girl  next  door  ,  flowers  in  every  room  ,  will  bring  you  soup  and  look  after  you  while  you’re  sick  and  contagious  type  of  person  .

[partyinthemysterymachine]

as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like....... 

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart. 

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate?? 

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but 

gestures helplessly

y’all fr?? 

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen.  good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired.  i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production. 

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

[vickie-believe]

Soooo. Yeah. Ahem. This might be a long post but I’m gonna just put a read more after a point.

I redesigned an OC from last year. And this is a major change (I have her old design in one of my art dumps). And it isn’t just that, I did more for her in both writing and character development. I also have more art stuff I did on her past self but gonna put that as a separate post.

Anyhow, this is Mad Jack, the Wild Dog. My Dying Light 30-year-old-plus crazy  OC with a sorta like Chloe Frazer, Rachel from Animorphs and Junkrat mash personality, I created for my fanfic, The Descent.

And you can see a year between different styles, levels of art and all that. So I wanna say that no matter how many years, you’ll get even better. You’ll learn new tricks and techniques, new things every day by keeping at your passion. You’ll get better. Any form you did whether simple, stick-man, anything is still a good art because you’re doing it - you’re not stopping because someone says it’s bad, you’re doing it for yourself. And you keep going and seeing the improvements that prove those people, you can create something awesome. 

So keep drawing. There’s absolutely no stopping, not even for me. I’m still going to improve myself. 

Now then, more on the character. Boring stuff. X’D

SOOOO, the story behind this character creation. I really enjoy Dying Light and I wish the best and all for Techland on their release with Dying Light 2 (and PLEASE GOD BRING THE BROTHER TWINS BACK so that my friend can go “shiiiiit!” X’D I really mean it! He hates them! AHAHAHAHA) and the Following. It was thanks to the ending that got me to start a writing about what happens to Kyle Crane days after the ending. Which means he becomes a sentient zombie in the fic.

What got me into making Mad Jack was two things: one is I realized Crane would need a middleman because you know, he would kill people uncontrollably (and that person needs to be mad enough to even stick with infected Crane) and two, three characters in Dying Light got me thinking of Jack as a common person between them. 

So yeah. Fic’s summary is Crane’s back, he meets an ex-kickboxer from the Outskirts of Harran in the middle of a city named Scanderoon and he learns she and a group called the Ravs are trying to find out why the virus recently spiked up with new mutations, affecting the zombies and the survivors, in hopes that the virus isn’t adapting too fast for a cure to beat it. 

Now the read-more cuz I don’t want you ppl seeing me as a rambling idiot.

Alright. Let’s get to the meat. So for one, when I first thought of the fic, I was thinking Crane is, of course, the main protagonist but with a few elements: he’s kinda like the Mother (sorta, I need to make his character design now lol) but as a Night Hunter sort and would still be himself. His character development would be on the verge of struggle and insanity between himself and his other self. So I couldn’t see himself being able to fully control himself without someone helping him, regardless how strong his willpower is after going through everything. So he needed someone to keep him in his grips. Jack in my fic is sorta of a red-herring first protagonist but is actually a  deuteragonist.

There’s also another point that I wanted to tackle his struggles from the main game, that meeting someone who knew the people he met and learning they’re gone would be the ultimate, powerful and bittersweet development for him. Which is about the three persons I said earlier that is what I based around for Jack.

So the three people were Harris Brecken, Jade and Rahim Aldemir. When I first played the game, I always found it strange how protective Brecken was to both of them which made me wonder if they had a backstory before the outbreak. Sure, many could say, Rahim was one of Brecken’s students or Rais was after the Scorpion before Crane came into the picture. A lot of theories anyone of us could think of. I still felt like there was someone in their lives that crossed paths. The first person I went brainstorming more on was Jade and her kickboxing career.

I made Jack, aka Mad Jack, as Jade’s previous rival and opponent for the last martial arts championship. The Scorpion versus the Wild Dog. The professional 3-year world champion versus the rising star until Jade won and Jack retired. And since their first meeting, the two kids have been friends with her with Jack being that kinda guardian looking out for them. I made Harris be, surprisingly, Jack as that unwanted cousin who you both love and hate a lot. Cough. But with whatever happened to all of them in the past gave me a better structure of why Brecken would care more about the kids if they knew someone who cared about them. Not directly but enough that Brecken wouldn’t tell his cousin they’re gone.

An incident did also cause a bit of friction from Jade’s victory, and that’s something I’ll reveal in my fic later on. And it also did change Jack a lot. The current Jack is more ballistic, unhinged, daring, hungry for a fight and uh...kinda scary the more I describe her now that I think of it. She’s still a good person (sorta) who helps those in need because she’s used to it before, being a legend that inspired people in the past. I even had a small idea that she sings a lullaby to calm the Screamers or infected children before killing them. She thinks of wild ideas that don’t often go the way she wants, a trait Rahim picked up, which is what made him decide to blow up the nest. Go Wild or don’t, which is one thing why those two connected well in the past. Jack’s an unlikely character on the search for why the virus had a kickstarter and being Crane’s hired wingman. 

Moreover, it’s a slow trust building between these two. Jack’s philosophy is sorta kinda like Rais and Crane can see that in her. There are also secrets she has that will put that trust to the test but it won’t just be her but Crane testing that trust with his own sins.

What makes this fic so interesting to me the more I write isn’t just Crane’s constant regret that he has to work with this loony woman in a desperate hope of finding that cure and the funny banter development between a sane zombie and a crazy human but the fact Crane’s past will catch up to him and Jack will learn about Jade and Rahim’s fates. And it’s not just Jack herself but others he’ll learn had some connection to someone in Harran. And that moment he can’t keep the lies in anymore and has to tell Jack the truth, that will be something powerful and heartbreaking - that he met a person who knew them and has to give the grim news they’re gone. Because no one had told Jack yet. What’s more, this will reflect on Jack too - that her influence on the two kids was what got them killed like her way of thinking in going big for Rahim and her philosophy in kickboxing got Jade to sacrifice herself.

From there, well, there’s more I have up my sleeve. And hopefully not break these two in the process. :Y

I made Jack for a long of reasons but the one main thing is, I realized after everything Crane’s gone, he really needed someone, an emotional pillar of support for sure. And he hasn’t had that the entire time in Dying Light or the Following - everyone sought him as a hero and never questioned it. Which...I kinda thought was a little sad. So yeah, I made Mad Jack - someone who had fallen from grace and accepted her current self, be that dog of Harran who fully takes in the fact the whole world has gone to hell and has pulled off the chains. Jack’s history, which some parts I won’t go into details, sorta reflects his that she had done a lot and sacrificed a lot before and during the outbreak came. And with Crane being stuck as a monster for good with moments of losing his shit, he’d need support a lot more than ever. The same goes for Jack with her own problems to deal with that Crane decides to help her like he has always done for people in the main game. And how this will all end, I dunno. I know exactly what might be a fitting end for Jack but how all of this will end, that’s something I’m going to have to see towards the end and how Crane would rise back from his descent thanks to Jack. Whether good or bad.

And there you go, Mad Jack. She really had a huge development based on so many people, as well as Crane himself. And I really enjoy pushing that development further into her, to see how far her trials go on her moral and psyche. 

uh....hope you get it. Probably a bore though. :Y I’m open to anything btw if you think it’s silly or bad. Been editing a lot in this character, others and my writing.

If people are interested, there’s already 15 chps, 1 small intermission chp and the next one is being worked on. Here’s the fic.

I feel like a dork...Im gonna draw other DL fanart. Maybe like banter between the Wild Dog and Scorpion in the past or something...

[floralkittygambler]

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

[thelibraryshow]

When you realize

Don’t bother to check Facebook. If they were your friends, they’d call or you’d make plans to do something. Friendships are not sustained by a thumbs up. Those aren’t my friends.. I’ve just known them for a long time. They have little or no idea what my daily life is like, even those I’ve known for almost 20 years. I actually pay attention and pretty much know what they’re up to IF anyone still posts anything real, non-commercial, or non-self promotional. It’s mostly reposts. I don’t even look at people’s pages, I don’t need to see another airbrushed, perfectly lit “candid” of your conventional family, the one you finally built, or your new car- the ford you’ve always dreamed of. I don’t really care about your favorite cartoon and I’m not buying your Tupperware, your paintings, and I’m pretty sure now hat we can choose precisely what we see, I’m on exactly nine lists. How do I know this? I always get nine likes. 23 if it’s something you have to like; a picture of your mom or someone who died young, anything military, your ugly new baby or anything nature-centric. Whatever the trend is, they will “like” it. Give it a try. Tumblr… well, I like the anonymity. This is the kind of stuff you’d share with your FB friends in the past or tell them over lunch in the way, way past. My real stuff got me alienated. I know the exact post that blackballed me with my white friends enhanced my standing with my black friends. My Asian friends love perfection, innovation and art. Girls? Depends on the girl. Guys? I don’t post pictures celebrating how many turkeys I bagged or the antlers of all he bucks I killed this year so… In my flesh & blood life, I get it! The people I’ve been close to the last year split when they figure out I’m really not going to show them how awesomely comfy by bed is.

I’m confused about all of this. From a thriving, overwhelming social life that just fell on top of me to a social life populated with users, losers and people who want to “chill”. I finally figured out that chill is code for sex in certain circles. Yeah, who knew? Not me, because I don’t speak American slang.

I’m lonely as fuck but id almost rather the only people I spoke to today were my mum, Aiden and a few cashiers. The cashiers were friendly enough & my family is always there… if I make the first move. Think I prefer my mother & the cashiers most days. No baggage. I’ve been a hardcore wardrobe slut since I bought my first bespoke blazers to comply with the handbook from my first boarding school. In this big Japanese house, my dressing room is between my room and the library. Typical living room size. I lounge there... I feel the hand-woven vintage fabrics, the suedes, the furs. This room feels more mine than my studios. Because however I want to present myself on a given day is neatly folded and hung behind glass doors? No, because I like shopping and this room is designed as a shopping experience. Mirrors surpass my 6'2". Rack piece of furniture Is a one off, designed for, imported by and beautifully crafted by five generations of my family. The library and every other room are similar. Does anyone know what it feels like to live in a museum spanning early 18th century to landmark mid century modern to early American? Carefully curated. It's everything and exclusively what I want to live with. Nothing more. It has to be... because.. .

I'm Working on getting accustomed to life without much human interaction. But then I’ve been working on that for a decade. I’m very social. How do I extract that trait?

People who like me like me a lot. Too much. People who don’t like me never say so, they just do shitty things- like when your cat gets pissed and poops on your bed. That’s never happened & my cats live in pure feline luxury as do my guests. People rave over my house. My cats? I give them what I used to give people I cared for. Time, attention, whatever they need or want. Try that with most humans. Turns out I don't draw convincing boundaries.

I used to have a lot of money. I spent it freely. I entertained, I traveled, I collected, I surround myself with lush gardens, and at times, gilded interiors. literally. I picked up the bill and ordered the cars... I spent extravagant sums on my art practice. Those same friends either bought or stole so much art I don’t even exhibit anymore. I design and redesign my gardens. Extreme gardening is a great replacement for interactions but even that garnered unwanted attention so, I opened my gardens to the public to raise money for a cause that didn't save one life, feed one person or clothe one kid, though the public library was something I did believe in before I realized they have never been short one dime.. 400 people in my garden, a years preparation.. in return I frequently looked out my window to see a couple of little old ladies treating my space like a public botanical garden. It was amusing the first couple of times. Then I moved.. and took the garden with me. Every tree, every stone. It took six months to relocate an extreme landscape, but it was satisfying. My extraordinarily well heeled gardener had quit by then. Work wasn’t his thing.

I’m alone in my new house. It’s mostly glass and big windows. It’s open with secret passageways between rooms and I love it more and more. I've become attached though not necessarily secure. I know I’m on the clock. Counting the days till I relocate this landscape too. My sources for hedging material and anything related to anything I do have pulled away, so, don’t ask how I obtain my materials. I haven’t figured out if I’m awful or if people like me who always have funds but no visible means of earning those funds are seen with suspicion. A few people continuously try to figure it out. They never get it quite right & the few I told didn't believe me so I never told anyone again.

I’ve been dating someone new. He doesn’t call, he’s autistic, he thinks he’s in love with me… or he did last time I saw him. He too wants something quite physical so I can’t see it surviving summer. It’s okay though, I’m getting good at resisting attachments. It’s painful. I suppose hermits gradually grow thicker skin? Or are they sad, miserable people numbing themselves to what they desire? I’ve Met numb people. They’d given up. They were like me; they never fit in and weren’t willing to sacrifice what they loved about themselves or what alienated others.

So, full circle? I resist attachments and can’t recognize a friend when it appears. I really am preparing to be alone. A hermit more or less. The weird cousin or uncle who’s never around. “ I’m not around because hearing how unusual and exotic I am got old the first time you observed it”.

Kinda lonely. Trying to become accustomed to it. Im to young and I still want... Replacing people with rare plants. I miss being center stage. I miss clubbing all night. I miss making pasta for a house full of people. I miss sharing my house, my food…my music especially. I miss making art in my studio. I miss my big family. I miss the illusion of friendship. I miss my one friend who knew everything about my favorite subject: art and design. I miss my crew: the people you never see by day.. because we’re resting up and shopping for something to wear out the next night. I miss long conversations about ancient, obscure books. I miss my friend Greg. The only solace is he died a year ago. Solace because we never split up. We watched every pre-1950 movie we could get our hands on. We spoke the same language, usually obscure references to films no one in any other part of my much compartmentalized life will ever know. I miss Greg. I miss NOT feeling like this. Crying, but nothing comes out. If I could have a good cry, I think I’d feel better. I miss being 100% sober. I take sleeping meds and anxiety meds now. I have a brilliant new psychiatrist I see every month or two. I look forward to it, but looking forward to it means looking forward to the onset of cold weather which presents a thousand other trials Yeah, I think about suicide. I know how and I know I can go anytime I like, but I’ve kind of promised myself I’d stick around as long as my mother does. She’s the only family I talk to besides my dad, when he’s not golfing and my nephew who’s five and adores Me. I know where adoration leads in my family. These people turn on a dime, especially when he becomes an athletic super star and his father finally gives a fuck. I’m a bit like a place holder when it comes to nephews. Tomorrow is my older nephews HS graduation. I’m not invited. When they’re young, my brother can’t be bothered to do so much as feed them. Then they grow up and do something that pleases him. Then it’s my son this, my son that. The most stunning thing about not being invited to any corner of this kids graduation isn’t that I’m not invited on the trip, it’s that before he was born, my aunt warned me not to get too close to him… and then she died. How was she so spot on? You know what else? Very, very little has come about which wasn’t available info to anyone paying attention to the patterns of my family over generations. If my family were a publicly traded stock, I’d be a trillionaire. As it stands I learned late how to use this to my advantage, though I know how to profit from each of them in some way. it doesn’t make me sad seeing what my nephew is, it makes me sad having to face it instead of guess at it and hear my mother deny what I thought, and now know to be truth. The only think I felt about that was I pretty: I thought of cutting him off financially. It’s paperwork I don’t want to do, it would ignite a chain reaction with My own inheritance, and in the end, he will never need anyone else’s money. If I do nothing and get hit by a bus, this snotty little bastard gets everything I have. I talked to my friend piyush tonight, he’s home in India now. He told me I’m always on my Mind. The best part is he’s always on my Mind too. Lots of people are on my Mind and I like knowing I may see them sometime. Piyush told me he was thinking of me and when he says it, I know he means it. I know it because we have ups and downs. He’s been rotten to me, I’ve been rotten to him maybe, we live in the real world. That relationship has sustained so much. It’s not the conditional, situational relationship one is accustomed to. Some good things happened today.