#this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

WARREN COUNTY/CARPENTER COUNTY LINE, ILLINOIS

Twenty Seven Hours Later

“Oh god!” The Governor turned from the Mustang with a hand over her mouth, her face suddenly pale.

“Oh jesus fuck!”

She took off across the roadway, running has fast as her flats would carry her. One of those shiny black shoes slipped on the wet asphault causing her to teeter, but she did not fall. She reached the tall wet grass on the opposite side of the road, bent, and proceeded to vomit in the ditch there. Salazar hurried after her.

Meeker and McGrath gave each other a tired look, and then looked back to the wreck. They barely noticed the white truck pull up behind them and Fred Colbourne hop out. A siren wailed in front of them as another Carpenter County Fire Department vehicle joined the other one and ejected six or seven more fire fighters in full yellow and orange regalia.

McGrath pointed to the crumpled body which lay in the middle of the road, atop the white lines.

“That's definitely Lloyd Chumway there,” he said morosely, “And this one here in the drivers seat...that's Lee.”

Meeker spit. “Pretty well intact, considering.”

“Well, they were in a pretty nice truck.” McGrath said, glancing over to the Governor who had now dropped to her knees. Salazar held her gently by the shoulders. She was still wretching.

“It's Booger's truck,” Meeker replied softly.

“The cook from the diner? The one with his head in the..”

Meeker cut him off, “Yep.”

“What about the kids in the Mustang? Can you ID them?” McGrath asked, walking around to the other side of the orange sports-car.

“Well,” Meeker took a deep breath, “This is Brad Doyle's mustang. He's pretty well known by the police around here. Not a bad kid.” He spit again, “But not a very good one either.”

McGrath's eyes panned across the headless torso in the driver's seat clad in a blood soaked Code Orange shirt. Bits of blood, bone, and brain lay all over the steel bumper of the truck which had completley intruded upon the cab of the Mustang. Some of it belonged to Brad, some belonged to the mess of a carcass that lay in the center of the car beside him. There was nothing but a heap of blood, skin, bones, and some sort of leopard print clothing. Another crumpled body lay in the backseat. Young female, her head turned around the wrong way on her neck. She was missing her legs.

“Do you know these other two occupants?” McGrath asked.

“The one in the backseat is Kyndra Bailey. I'm guessing this one,” he gulped as he looked over the tattered remains, “this one is probably Zoey Gonland, her girlfriend. They liked to hang out with Brad.”

McGrath looked up from the other side of the car, “More trouble makers?”

“They were good kids. A little bit of the talk of the town, but good kids.”

McGrath shook his head, “I don't follow.”

“A high school lesbian couple in a small town like this. Everyone knows them.”

“Jesus God Almighty,” Fred Colbourne said as he stepped up to the wreck beside them.

Another man, this one tall and thin with short brown hair, a yellow polo shirt and khaki pants also appeared beside them. Meeker looked at him. The man extended his hand.

“I'm Shelton Ganoux, the Carpenter County Medical Examiner. They called for me as soon as they arrived.” The man said, nodding a head to the fire fighters who were laboring around the wreck of the semi-truck and ambulance.

“And we here in Warren County greatly appreciate your help,” Meeker said, shaking the young man's hand firmly. “We've had one hell of a night over here and our boys are a little tied up.”

Ganoux half-bowed his head, “So I've heard.”

“What the hell happened out here,” Colbourne asked.

The Governor and Salazar re-appeared next to them. The Governor pulled a kleenex from her pantsuit pocket and dabbed at her mouth.

“It appears we have two separate accidents, occurring within about an hour and a half of each other. The orange sports-car, the truck, and the tractor trailer incident occurred at around six o'clock this morning, while the ambulance seems to have collided with the tractor trailer at around seven thirty.”

“Makes sense,” Meeker mumbled.

“What?” Colbourne asked, “What makes sense.”

“It looks like Mustang was behind the tractor trailer and went to try and pass him when they struck the Chumway Brothers in the truck coming from the opposite direction.” McGrath said.

Meeker's phone began to vibrate in his pants. He pulled it out, hit the green button on the screen, and stuck it to his ear.

“Meeker!” He barked. The voice that answered was gruff.

“Hey Deputy, it's Lorne Appleby.”

“Who?”

“Appleby, from Protective Services.”

“Oh right. Well?”

“Nothing yet. I'm gonna head to the hotel room for some shut eye. Miss. Cromer should be back in a few hours. Just wanted to keep you abreast of the...”

“Mrs. who?”

“Cromer...Ellen Cromer...from DCF.”

Meeker rubbed his forehead. “Aww yeah..right right. I'm sorry Appleby, I got a million things going on right now.”

“I know, I know. Like I said, just wanted to keep you abreast of the situation.”

“Who do I got over there now?”

“Officer Chang just left, Officer Stanton just arrived, two other officers in a squad car just went on patrol an hour or so ago...forgive me, I don't remember their names.”

Meeker adjusted the phone from one ear to the other. “Oh right, that's Warner and Farnsworth I think.”

“Maybe.”

“Okay, keep me posted.”

“Will do.”

Meeker ended the call.

“Who was that?” Fred asked.

“Guy from Protective Services about Maddie Keane.”

“Still haven't found her?” Colbourne asked.

Meeker shook his head and waved at the wreckage in front of him. “And if it wasn't for all this shit and everything else I'd have every god damn cop out there looking for her.”

Fred patted his friend's back. “I know Bengie. I know. You're doing the best you can.”

They were quiet for awhile and Ben took some deep breaths to gather his thoughts.

“You know what I'm wondering?” Colbourne asked after some time had passed.

“What's that?” Ben replied quietly.

“How in the world did no one around here hear a wreck like that?”

“Well the only ones out here are Reverend Taylor over there,” he pointed to his right, to a house on the top of a hill, “and Amos Yoder. Amos claims to have been woken up by the second accident, he's talking to the state troopers now.” he pointed to his left, toward a dirt road leading down to a quaint little farmhouse with a big red barn. An Amish man was indeed standing along side the curb next to his driveway talking to an Illinois State Trooper who was dictating his statement on a clipboard.

“Amos said he slept right through the first accident, and I've known Kevin Taylor for years, we had sleep overs together when we were kids. He has to sleep with some kind of noise. He always brought a sound machine to my house, annoying little shit.” Meeker continued, “He sleeps with a box-fan I think. He probably couldn't hear a frieght train coming through his living room.”

“Besides that it was still raining at six o'clock this morning,” Ganoux said, “the sound of the storm could have muffled much of the noise.”

“I just can't believe Gary Windorf didn't see the over-turned tractor trailer.” Colbourne said, gesturing to the ambulance. Gary Windorf had been the driver.

“We told him to haul ass,” Meeker sighed, “it was still dark and raining.”

“Plus he was coming up from over this hill,” McGrath added, waving at the rise in the road behind them.

The Governor cleared her throat. “So we have the Chumway brothers here...where the hell is Myers? Is he in the back of that ambulance where he belongs?”

“Who is Myers?” Ganoux asked.

“Objective number one,” Meeker replied, “Big guy, jumpsuit..”

“The guy with the mask, kinda toasty?”

“That'd be him,” McGrath nodded.

“He's over there.” Ganoux pointed. Three firefighters crouched beside a body near the tree line. The figure was face down in the mud only a few feet from the trailer of Gabriel Couture's truck. “It appears the patient was thrown from the ambulance.”

“But he's dead?” Meeker asked.

“Very much so. He hit a tree in mid air.” Ganoux replied.

“He was dead before he was even put in the ambulance,” Colbourne grunted.

“Well, I can't tell that. I'd need to do a full autopsy to do that.” Ganoux said.

“Forget that,” The Governor spat, “Get his ass in a body bag and let's get it back to the High School. Get all these bodies over there so we can...”

She was interrupted by the sound of approaching vehicles. The whole party turned as a black GMC Van pulled up behind the firetrucks. In the distance, it looked as if the van had been followed by a train of semi-trucks. The truck tractors where plain white with no lettering, while the trailers were gray, and also blank. The hiss of the parking brakes sounded off one at a time.

The doors of the GMC Van opened. Several almost identical looking Caucasian men in black suits stepped out. They seemed to be led by another man, who had climbed out of the passenger side of the van. He was older than the others, judging by the gray in his hair.

The older gentlemen stepped up and extended his hand to the Governor.

“Governor Harris?” He asked simply.

“I am,” The Governor replied, taking his hand.

“I'm Dick Spencer, Director of the Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Team for Region Five.”

“How do you do?” The Governor asked with a forced smile. “This is Deputy McGrath of the---”

Spencer cut her off and pulled a piece of paper from the inside breast pocket of his coat, “Did you request Federal Response?”

“Yes sir, we've had a bad night in this town---” The Governor started but again, Spencer cut her off.

“And you are fully aware that in so doing, you have allowed the Department of Homeland Security to begin to conduct an investigation into the order, as to the reasons why such an order would be placed pursuant to Guideline 542, section B, article F?”

The Governor looked at Meeker and then to McGrath, who took the roll of papers from Agent Spencer. “Yes sir..I am aware of the...”

“Excellent then,” Spencer looked down at the papers and began to thumb through them, “I have two affidavits for your law enforcement officers here to fill out. They must be in precise detail as to the events that transpired over the night , and why you would need to place an order for a portable refrigeration unit for casualty victims.” He looked at McGrath, “You need to fill one out as does this local officer...Officer----???”

Meeker took one of the papers, “Deputy Sheriff Ben Meeker.”

“Meeker,” Spencer nodded, “I also have a battery of questions we need to go over, but first I have three questions.”

McGrath took the other paper, “Yeah, shoot.”

“Do you or do you not want to be a big pain in my ass today?” Spencer asked.

McGrath laughed in spite of himself. “What?”

“I'm not aware that I said anything amusing Agent?” Spencer replied, cutting a look to Meeker and then back at McGrath, “Do you want to be a big pain in my ass today?”

“No sir,” McGrath replied.

Spencer looked back at Meeker, “Do you want to be a big pain in my ass Deputy Sheriff?”

“No sir,” Meeker replied.

“Excellent,” Spencer said, “Now let's get something straight. I don't want to be here, okay?”

Meeker and McGrath nodded.

“You are aware that last night was Halloween?” Spencer asked.

Meeker and McGrath looked at one another, not sure how to answer. McGrath was brave enough to try. “Well—yes...”

“Do little girls and boys play dress up on Halloween?” Spencer asked.

The two men looked at each other again and then replied in unison: “Yes sir,”

“You know who else plays dress up?”

Meeker and McGrath looked at each other a third time and then back at Spencer and shook their heads.

“Russian mail order brides play dress up,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. “Just hours ago, I was playing dress up with my Russian mail order bride, and you can imagine what kind of activities proceed playing dress up and drinking Vodka and 7-Up all night. And you can imagine how doing these things would be very taxing for a man my age, couldn't you?”

“Yes sir,” the men replied.

“I would like nothing better than to be back in my bed, in my Chicago penthouse, with Katya on my ‪Saturday morning‬. But instead, I'm called out to this piss-ant little town in the Storm-of-the-fuckin'-century. You can imagine how that would put me in a bad mood, correct?”

“Yes sir,” the men agreed.

“If there is any thing between those two affidavits that doesn't match up, or if there is anything that has transpired in this town that isn't cherry, or if the two of you aren't one hundred percent crystal clear and straight with me and obedient to my will like two little golden retriever puppy dogs, I will have Washington DC on my ass, and I don't want ‪Washington DC‬ on my ass for anything, and that will turn you into a big pain in the ass for me, and we don't want that now do we?”

“No sir,” they responded.

“I want to get this over with so I can go back home and enjoy my weekend, got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good,” Spencer pointed to the trucks, “Second question,” he said, “Where is the mobile refrigeration unit going to be erected?”

McGrath stuttered and looked at Meeker.

Meeker swallowed and said, “Best place I guess would be the parking lot of the high school...we've already set up a field---.”

“You guess?” Spencer stammered.

“Yes sir,” The Governor cut in, “The parking lot of the High School is where we want it.”

“What high school? I need a name people! I need an address!” Spencer's volume level went up a notch.

“It's Haddonfield High School, on the corner of Belmont and Main Street,” Meeker said.

“Well is it Belmont or Main Street?!” Spencer nearly roared.

“‪248 Belmont Avenue‬,” Meeker responded calmly.

“Got it,” one of the accompanyng men in black suits said quietly, and then they all turned to walk toward the first truck.

“Third question,” Spencer said, his volume level returning to normal, “is there a police station in this god-forsaken town that we conduct business in, or do we rednecks like to stand out in the road and play with our dicks in front of a bunch of mangled car accident victims?”

“I have two of my boys setting up a big tent in the parking lot of the hospital. That's gonna be ground zero for now until that scene gets under control and we can shift everything to the high school.” Meeker replied.

“The tent we use for the exhibitions on fair days and stuff. The recruitment tent?” Colbourne asked.

“Exactly. Herman Beach and Chris Huber are grabbing it from the storage unit. They should be there any minute. We should probably get over there now, I think we're done here.”

“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” Spencer said, turning back toward his vehicle. “There better be coffee.”

The Governor piped up, “Don't you have a Mayor in this town somewhere? Someone is gonna have to talk to the press!”

Meeker winced.

NEXT>> (Coming Soon)

[loftec]

Hi i don't know if anyone haven't ask you about it or i'm the only one who wants to read it but CAN YOU PLEASE SHARE YOUR NOTES (ch.44) i don't know if you were serious about that but i really would love to read them cause i'm obsessed with everything what is ntw related 🖤 hope ur well

Hi friend! It’s possibly just you (or one other person, in case of separate anons) but that is enough! I was absolutely serious. 

Note on the notes! This is not all of it, because my notes for this chapter were often repetitive and very messy, and some older notes were from four years ago when I didn’t bother writing things out properly, so they barely make sense even to me. But! I’ve done my best to sort everything in some kind of linear order, and removed most of the repetition. And, well, you asked for it... sorry! 🖤

Ian shows up in the morning, Mickey digs out the magazine Iggy stole from Amelia’s dentist’s office the other day and confronts Ian about the big-ass article in Rolling Stone about IAN’S BAND, says he’s listened to some of their songs, takes out a paper where he’s written down some lyrics that sound strangely familiar.

You’re famous!

I’m in a band, people know about us right now, tomorrow they might not. I’m not famous.

You’re kinda famous.

Ian talks about Mickey recognizing him because of Frank. Hints that there might be several songs inspired by Mickey. It’s awkward as fuck, didn’t want you to know.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

Oh yeah, I had a plan. 3 dates, dinner and a movie, day out with Yev, dinner at my place turned vigorous love-making. Second prong; cohabitation, engagement, marriage, then on our wedding night I tell you about crushing on Justin Timberlake when I was 12,

then I tell you I’m semi-famous, if it still applies.

Mickey thinks his face might be on fire.

What the?

I’m fucking with you, Mick. Figured you already knew.

This again?

You angry?

No, I’m not fucking angry. Just-

Freaked out.

Kinda, yeah.

You shouldn’t be. Please.

It’s weird that I didn’t know, I feel like a schmuck. (And I’m pretty sure by your count we’ve already been on those first two dates.)

I’m sorry. I thought you knew and by some fucking miracle didn’t treat me different. I’d been gearing up to maybe have to have this conversation on our date, ‘cause it’s shit sometimes, you know? I don’t do interviews and I never talk about myself when I gotta do them, but there’s still a limelight and a lot of bullshit that complicates

I’ve been crushing on you since we met basically, and I thought I’d just… let it run its course, keep my mouth shut about it and deal until it went away and we could remain friends without me fucking it up.

Didn’t work, by the way.

Good.

Mickey is talking about it with Etch, who suggests that Ian’s been writing at the diner for a reason.

Etch looks up some lyrics and Mickey caps locks them to Ian

You might have inspired a few lately…

Fuck off. How many?

Since we met? Pretty much all of them.

Maybe one or two made it on to the album, but I wrote those before we really got to know each other so they’re just like… about moments, and how I would feel around you.

Didn’t think of it as creepy but it kinda sounds that way now.

No it’s fine

I won’t do it again.

Said it’s fine. Kinda like it.

Yeah?

You gonna tell me which ones are about me, or is that a secret too?

What are you doing tonight?

Thought you said you were going on tour?

We are, it starts tonight. It’s a small fan club gig here in Chicago.

You have a fan club?

Kinda. I’ll put you on the guest list if you want to come.

(Mickey calls Svetlana to make sure Yevgeny can stay with her over the weekend.)

It’s fine if you don’t want to, we’ll do something else when I get back.

Calm your tits Gallagher, course I wanna go. Needed to make sure I’ve got Yev covered.

Oh okay, good. You’re on the list. Doors at 7, gig starts at 8, no support.

You’ve got no chill.

(Ian doesn’t answer for a while)

I like it.

Good, that was torture. Never doing that again.

(Etch teases him about having his nose in his phone, and makes him aware of new guests arriving)

Gotta get back to work

Yeah, me too. See you tonight?

No chill at all.

Ian invites him to the concert and gives Mickey his phone number. Mickey makes sure Yevgeny stays with his mom on saturday, and after work he goes home and gets ready. Showers and cleans himself thoroughly, puts on cologne and a band t-shirt he hasn’t worn in ages, it’s gotten kinda tight on him since he got it. (He puts on a dress shirt first, tucks it into his pants and glares at his reflection).

He’s on the guest list when he gets there, the girl in the box office can’t find him at first but then Anne shows up and points him out, he’s on the VIP list and gets a pass that he’s told he needs to carry so it’s visible. He makes a point of shoving it in the admission guy’s face, but then shoves the ostentatious thing down the pocket of his jeans. Anne shows him in and tells him about the gig, about how the fan club got started. Anne says he can go backstage but he says he’ll pass, thank you. He gets a beer and finds a good spot, there’s a balcony halfway through the venue where he’s got a perfect view of the stage without having to stand in the front.

They text a little, Mickey says he’s there and Ian says he’ll make a sign when they play a song inspired by him.

run-through of the concert, Ian touches the side of his nose when the song is about Mickey. He’s sexy as fuck, and has some ridiculous stripper moves.

He takes off his hoodie at some point, and sweating through his tank he and Anne put on gloves and start hitting the barrels with crowbars.

Anne is the maestro, maybe Ian crowd surfs at some point? Warren Ellis that violin, man. He has little routines with Anne, and some with Jon too. One song, Anne gets one of his guitars and he does noisy stuff with his violin and plays on the oil barrels with Stran, completely in sync.  

They got some good stage banter going, and at some point Ian does a Tom Waits impression, and Anne groans and says he’ll sing the whole thing if they’re not careful. There’s a reason why he’s

For the encore, Ian touches the side of his nose and they start playing a song, Anne saying that this is a first. It looks like Ian is about to sing, but then it looks like he changes his mind and they start playing a song that Mickey sure as fuck hope isn’t about him. The insufferable man on a date right next to Mickey tells the woman he’s with that they were about to play the mysterious title track from their last album that never ended up on the record

“it’s derivative, but cute”

how can it be a title track if it’s not on the album

the guy talks about how he’s got a friend working as an engineer in the studio and he’s sent him an early demo version. It’s not their best song by far, but it’s cool that pretty much no one else has heard it.

Mickey asks the girl if she’s ok with this joker, and she says she’s fine. He offers to get her a cab or something, if she wants to get out of there.

She says she’s not interested

Lady, if I wanted to get with either of you, it wouldn’t be you. Just sayin, I ain’t picky, but that guy would’ve gotten the boot ten minutes into the date if he were here with me, no offense.

WHAT IF.

The concert is over, and crowd starts to let up. Then a fight breaks out at the front and Mickey makes his way towards it. It’s over before he gets there, and sees a guy in his 40s with a bleeding nose, and Lip shaking out his fist, a security guard between them.

Mickey talks to the guard and defuses the situation, putting the bleeding man in the position of a sad overzealous fan. It somehow warms Lip to him, absurdly, and he finds himself apologized to, Lip shaking his hand and wincing when Mickey grips his bruised knuckles a little too hard. Lip vaguely explains that that was an old ex of Ian’s, a real piece of work, and then offers Mickey to come backstage with them to see Ian. Mickey declines.

It’s Lip, Carl and Debbie (Liam is too young, and Fiona too pregnant).

“I was drunk, and wrong, and when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong. (IT’S FROM DIRTY DANCING YOU LITERALLY FORGET EVERY TIME AND HAVE TO GOOGLE IT WHENEVER READING THIS NOTE should I really be quoting Baby’s dad in this fic? Probably. If anyone can, it’s Lip.) And Ian tells me you’ve been there for him a lot lately

I wouldn’t say that

But he did, he doesn’t tell me a lot these days, but he told me that.

Mickey gets another beer at the bar as people mill towards the merch and exit, he sits on a stool with an eye on the backstage passage. He watches the band come out to talk to some of the lingering fans and sign shit. Ian comes out and is immediately surrounded by fans, he locks eyes with Mickey across the room and Mickey raises his beer in a silent cheers. Ian comes up to him after a few minutes, he looks damp and exhilarated and unexpectedly nervous,

How was it?

Not bad, Gallagher.

he asks Mickey over. He has to pack up his shit and do the rounds, but he’ll be done in half an hour, tops. Mickey says he’ll meet him outside.

Ian leaves and Mickey finishes his beer, watching Ian talk to some fans, signing shit and taking pictures. He goes for a piss and then goes out for a smoke.

Ian comes out after twenty minutes, carrying two guitar cases and a large wheelie-bag. Mickey takes one of the guitars off his hands and they walk together.

(maybe Ian has a banjo and he gives it to Mickey to carry and Mickey is all really? I wanna kick your ass so bad right now, country boy, but then carries it anyway.) (banjos are cool)

Walk from the club. Mickey mentions talking to Lip. They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it) (Note from 2020: I DID NOT REMEMBER IT.)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

Ian tells him a little about his different instruments, Mickey picks up the beat up guitar Gus first gave to Ian and strums it, Ian asks him to play him something but Mickey snorts and says he’s counting on getting laid tonight and him playing would be detrimental to that plan. Ian doesn’t think so, but accepts it when Mickey gives him the guitar.

”I’ve walked some thousand miles,” he starts softly, eyes on his left hand, moving over the strings, ”I have slept many hundred nights, and people’ve said hello and bye through the years since you were mine. But don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue. Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser I cry for you.”

”Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie,” ”My darling boy, sweet old times, as long as I keep you in mind I will remember what love is like. So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning, don’t I know it’s overdue.”

”Just because I’ve gotten older, none the wiser.”

”I cry for you.”

I’M THINKING OF WRITING MY OWN SONG BECAUSE I WAS THIS MOMENT TO BE MORE BEFORE SUNSET THAN ANYTHING, ALL SMILES AND DRAMA FREE. SO MAYBE A TEXT THAT IS A LITTLE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD.

Ian plays the song and when he’s done, Mickey kisses him and they have really enthusiastic sex on the couch. Mickey is about to leave after when Ian invites him to stay,

How about some long-ass foreplay on the couch and then they move into the bedroom.

They start on the couch, they take it to the bedroom, they collapse on the bed after and Mickey is feeling too good to argue when Ian mumbles at him to “stay”.

(Sings the song, says it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a song, it’s one quick thought put under a spotlight. Feeling like he should have known Mickey his whole life already. It’s too much, isn’t it? In the kitchen.

”do you normally take guys home and serenade them?”

”nah, don’t think it’d be very effective with most.”

”But you figured I’d swoon?”

”Figured you’d want the truth.”

”which is?”)

??? Need to find a good mix of excitement and new and easy, balanced with ho shit wtf are we doing this isn’t going to end well i think i fucking love him shut the fuck up. needs to be sexy and a little rough, as well as painfully sincere against better knowledge. kissing will do that. they’re doing stuff the way they usually do stuff, but for some reason it feels completely different.

Important that Mickey kisses him.

They stand up and stand chest to chest, Ian says they don’t have to do anything, Mickey says shut up and get naked

he helps ian take his shirt off and kisses him the second his face comes back into view

They fucks on the couch.

OR ALT FADE CUT END and don’t go explicit. Just saying, it’s an option. A valid option.

They can go at it in one of the sequels? Like the roadtrip can be more explicit? If I want? But also not?

I mean, there is such a thing as a nice middle ground right.

I just don’t think I’m interested in going all out porn after 40+ chapters of whatever.

THEY KISS AND THEN THERE’S A MOTHERFUCKING FADE TO BLACK MY FRIEND, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I HAVE DECIDED. Soz

WHAT IF!!

Iggy comes in, is all: guess what I found at the dentist this morning?

M: again? Did Amelia break another tooth?

I: It’ll grow back, take a look at this

E: Did you steal that from the dentist’s office?

M: Rolling Stone, wtf?

E: your dentist’s got rolling stone?

Mickey reads the headlines out loud as a customer comes in and asks Etch about something they’ve lost the other day, and Etch starts rifling through boxes behind the counter as Mickey moves over to sit down in Ian’s booth, rifling through the magazine.

M: what am I looking for?

I: I marked the page

E: what’s this note?

Mickey starts reading the article, realizing that the blurred picture is of Ian, and the interview is with Ian, and holy shit. Ian is legit famous.

Etch starts reading the list of coffees, eventually turning the page over and pointing out that there’s a phone number.

Iggy comes to the diner in the morning, Etch is rifling through stuff behind the counter and Mickey is doing the rounds with the few guests still there after the morning rush.

Iggy shows him the magazine he found at the dentist’s and Etch is in the background like wtf is this, reading from Ian’s note with the coffee orders, Mickey only half listens, trying to take in the fact that Ian is fucking famous.

Etch says there’s a phone number too and Mickey brushes him off.

Then he’s like, hold the fuck up! And gets the note from the trash and tries the number, and Ian fucking answers. And they have the you’re famous conversation on the phone and voila, Mickey has his number and vice versa.

So Mickey calls Ian in the morning, then there’s text talk during the day.

From Ian

So, you’ve had my number for x days and you only now decided to use it?

That’s cold.

From Mickey

You wrote it on a piece of paper you then balled up and threw on the floor, asshole, it’s a miracle it didn’t end up in the trash. didn’t know I had it until this morning.

You suck at this. (This is a nice revelation that he likes, but Maybe that doesn’t come across in text.

Not a complaint btw, just gleeful observation.

From Ian

Are we still on?

From Mickey

Of course.

Dumbass.

Ian

I probably deserved that.

At some point Mickey starts capslocking and sending lyrics to Ian, who has to explain through text why he’s written songs about Mickey, saying that he’ll point them out tonight.

HERE’S A QUESTION

SHOULD I SKIP THE WHOLE “WRITING SONGS ABOUT MICKEY” BUSINESS??

Isn’t it enough that Ian is famous and kept this fact from Mickey? Isn’t the writing songs business a little creepy? and if he did write songs about Mickey, would he really publish them without Mickey’s consent? No. Maybe I’m deliriously tired and about to fall ill right now, but I actually think I should skip that part. It’s a little sad because it’s been part of this idea for three years, but if I’m uncertain about it now imagine how I’m going to feel about it later?

When I started writing this story, it was supposed to be a quick and silly thing, and now it’s something else. It’s not important or anything, but also it is. To me. And making a decision on the rating was a big deal for me, and I think this is another one of those things. I’ve been holding on to this idea for so long but when I really think about it, is it even romantic? It’s romantic in that kind of teenage dream way, maybe? It’s more romantic to me if they fall in love for reasons other than Ian writing songs. But he’s written NTW, and he still thinks about performing it live, but we skip the whole thing about songs being about Mickey.

So they talk on the phone in the morning, and then there’s a text coming in after a little while asking if Mickey wants to come to the show.

HEYHO IT’S A REVOLUTION AND I FEEL FREE

Mickey and Ian text after the show (after Mickey declines going backstage) Ian asks him to meet him round back in twenty minutes. When Mickey goes out there, he sees Ian talking to a couple of fans by the bus and Mickey hangs back to smoke while he waits. The fans leave and Ian looks around, checks his watch, he has a bunch of guitars with him.

I AM LEANING HEAVILY TOWARDS MICKEY KISSING IAN HERE. He’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters against the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

They’re in the elevator, then they’re in Ian’s apartment. Ian plays him the song, Before sunset ending.

almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

(almost none of that rhymed, just letting you know. kinda embarrassing.

yeah, it’s not a very good song. is why we cut it from the record

oh yeah? thought it was ‘cause of the like, intensely personal subject

that too)

They smile at each other like fools and Mickey feels like he is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and there’s no rush. Fade to black.

Etch finds the paper, says there’s a phone number on it. Mickey dials the number and goes out back as it rings out. When Ian answers, he reads a question from the interview and they talk.

He goes back into the diner and basically blows the whole thing off, it doesn’t make any difference to him and he has to go back to work. Yevgeny does his homework and Iggy leaves, and Ian invites Mickey to the gig via text. Etch invites Yevgeny to stay over at theirs for a movie night.

Does Mickey tell Yev about the gig?

Start with Mickey out back, smoking. The phone rings and he waits for Etch to take it, but it keeps ringing. He bangs the door and yells PHONE and then it stops ringing. He kills the cigarette and goes back inside. Etch is behind the counter talking on the phone and going through the lost and found, looking for whatever the caller has lost. Mickey clears a table. It’s afternoon. Etch hangs up but keeps going through stuff in the box, talking to Mickey, when Iggy comes in.

It’s maybe more like afternoon (?) when Iggy comes in and shows Mickey the magazine. He calls Ian and they have a quick conversation (he probably goes outside to have it, to escape his audience) and they establish that Ian is sorta famous. Then they text back and forth a little, until Ian invites him to the show.

Mickey calls Svet to arrange it so Yev can stay with her, and then accepts. He goes home after work to eat, have a shower and change out of his clothes. He wears the only band tee he owns, mostly because it’s funny and because it’s kinda tight and he doesn’t think he looks too bad in it (and a dress shirt is way too much for a concert not-date, not that he tried on a couple first. Then he does a little bit of cyberstalking only to find very little personal information and a lot of crazy fans. Maybe he watches a couple of music videos, but they’re all really weird cartoons so they give him nothing. They’re cool though, and guess the music’s alright, even though he doesn’t have a connection yet to it so it’s hard to tell if he likes it.

Yevgeny calls, because Mickey switched the days and he wants to know why. Mickey asks if he knows about the Broken Bells, and Yev’s like duh who doesn’t? And freaks out when Mickey tells him about Ian. He doesn’t tell him about the whole date situation though, just that he’s going to the concert. Maybe Yev asks for some merch.

Mickey takes an Uber to the venue, even though it’s not too far from the diner (but on the other side, so at least a 30 minute walk) and it seems like they’ve already started letting people in. He hangs back until the admissions office is clear and then tells the lady that he’s on some kinda guest list. She can’t find him, and he’s about to give up and go home when he sees a familiar figure in the background. He calls her Stay-puft first, but then also remembers that her name is Anne and calls her that too. She remembers him, and finds him on a different (VIP) list, the venue staff woman is embarrassed, but Anne is borderline flirting she’s so nice about the mistake. Mickey gets a pass that he’s supposed to keep around his neck, but he shows it to the guards and then tucks it down his back pocket. Anne shows him inside the venue and asks if he wants to come backstage and say hello, but he kindly declines.

He has a quick peruse of the merch table (he checks the CDs, and then sees a smaller table next to the merch with a guy handing out pins, Mickey talks to him and finds out that it’s “fan club” pins to commemorate the gig and Mickey asks if his VIP pass gets him one, it does, and then the guy asks if Mickey wants to sign up for the newsletter) and then gets a beer, before finding a good spot on the mezzanine floor. He’s got a balcony railing for support and beer holder, and he’s got an excellent view of the stage. The floor is filling up with people packing themselves against the front. He texts Ian saying he’s here and they text a little back and forth. He gets someone to watch his spot and goes to the restroom. There, he finds a kid getting cornered by a middle-aged man. The kid looks vaguely familiar and not older than sixteen. Mickey steps in and casually accuses the guy of creeping on a kid and the guy immediately backs off, the kid says thanks and that he’s eighteen (because it’s an 18+ gig) and Mickey says sure.

Getting back to his spot, There is a douchebag on a date behind him that he wants to move away from, but he doesn’t want to surrender his good spot. He decides to tune him out, he’ll hopefully shut up once the set starts. It’s just a couple of minutes after eight when the lights dim and a song comes on louder than before, and the band start coming out on the stage. Ian is wearing jeans and a hoodie, like he normally does, but he’s clean shaven and his normally smiling face is set in blank determination. Anne is the front person, and she commands the audience with the slightest gesture. It’s obvious that the venue is filled with old fans, they all know exactly what to do exactly when she asks them to do it. Ian’s got like four guitars and a whole lot of other shit around him, and he’s super focused on doing his stuff, but now and then he does little routines with Anne and Jon, and gets a big cheer for his occasional solos.

A few songs in, Ian gets up to stand on one of the oil barrels, and Anne starts banging on it with a crowbar. That’s when Mickey starts to really get into it. It’s cool, and it’s a lot harder than Ian made it out to be, but kind of theatrical at the same time. Ian is brilliant, even though he dances like an uncoordinated stripper.

There is banter between the songs, mainly between Anne and Stran (girl sure bangs those drums!) Anne starts banging one of the oil barrels again and Ian and Jon do a little step dance next to each other across the scene.

At some point Ian takes off his hoodie. He’s wearing a white tank and he’s already sweating through it. He gives his guitar to Anne and puts on gloves. Him and Stran do a little bant-y thing and then they start a new song by both banging the barrels in unison while Anne and Jon start playing (maybe Jon plays something else, like an electric piano or a marimba?). At the crescendo of the song, Ian takes out a baseball bat and goes to town on the barrel, sweat shining on his muscly arms and his wet hair flopping down his forehead.

They go off the stage, but come back when the crowd chants a song, stomping their feet and clapping their hands. Anne says they’ve got one more song for them, and they start playing. She moves away from the microphone and it looks for a second like Ian is going to step up and sing. Douchebag behind Mickey tells his date about an unreleased b-side to the last album. But then Ian steps back and says something to Stran, who nods and moves into a slightly different beat. Without blinking Anne, steps back up to the mic and sings the last song.

Some of the crowd lingers by the stage after the lights have gone back on, but most move towards the bar or the merch table. Mickey hangs back to watch the crew take down the stage, and the two oil barrels being handed over to someone in the audience, along with set lists and left-over picks. Walking down from the mezzanine floor to go look for the restrooms, a fight breaks out on the floor. Mickey immediately recognizes one of them as Lip and the other one as the creep from the bathroom, and intervenes by clearly positioning himself on Lip’s side and reminding the creep that he could get him in trouble, the creep backs off and agrees when Mickey tells the security guards it was an accident (in a way that isn’t obviously helpful, but in the end still makes sure that Lip isn’t hurt or arrested for punching a guy) (because he did, he punched a guy, who is thrown out by the guards after Mickey’s intervention). Lip, Carl, Debbie, and Liam is there, but it’s only Lip who knows who Mickey is. He hangs back to talk to Mickey while his siblings go backstage (and PROBABLY DOESN’T tell him a little bit about the guy being Ian’s ex, making it clear that Lip really doesn’t like him). He also apologizes to Mickey for last time. He asks if Mickey wants to go backstage, but Mickey declines. He’s decided earlier with Ian through text that he’ll wait for him and thinks it’s better to do it somewhere that isn’t backstage where he might get asked questions and have to talk to people who aren’t Ian.

He gets another beer and stands in the bar next to the merch, watching as Ian and the rest of the band come out to sign some stuff and shake hands. Ian still looks slightly damp from sweat, even though he’s obviously changed clothes and run a towel through his hair. Mickey wonders if his skin tastes like salt. He drinks his beer.

Ian comes up to him after a little while, asking well? (or texts him, which probably makes more sense? But I also want Mickey to see Ian post-show)

Not bad Gallagher, not bad at all.

Ian looks pleased and asks if Mickey wants to come over, even though Ian has an early morning. Mickey says yes and Ian asks him to wait until they’re done packing up.

Mickey finishes his beer, goes to the restroom (where he sees douchebag by the urinal) and then he goes outside to wait for Ian. (He talks to douchebag’s date and offers to get her a taxi before the guy comes out.) He smokes a cigarette, and before he knows it, Ian is by his side, carrying a fuck ton of guitars. They decide to walk, for some reason, talking on the way.

HEY

Ian says he’s got a car coming and they walk a little bit to where they’re getting picked up. They talk about trumpet lips and stuff and Mickey kisses him. They get interrupted by the car arriving, and Ian picks up his guitars and says “you coming?”

Fuck yes

They sit in silence in the car, but it’s a good one. Ian says

Lip told me what you did back there.

He didn’t tell you shit.

He did, told me you stepped in and stopped him from getting arrested

He was getting his ass kicked, someone had to help the guy

And Liam told me you got him out of a tough situation in the restroom

That was Liam? Some pedo’s creeping on a kid by the urinal, I’m not gonna stand by doing nothing.

You know that’s not what happened

Yeah, well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

He isn’t a pedo, and Lip would’ve beat the shit outta him if you hadn’t stepped in.

You defending this guy?

No, trying to say thanks.

You’re shit at it.

Thank you, Mickey

Better.

So… friend of yours.

No. (Ian isn’t forthcoming with the info)

Alright, whatever.

And he’s definitely not someone I wanna talk about, tonight.

(Ian is smiling at him, all the promise in the world in his eyes)

Fucking fair enough.

They arrive.

OR Ian joins Mickey outside and they stand around and talk

They talk about Ian’s Tom Waits impression. You’re not musically illiterate at all! Talk about Mickey’s Radiohead tee that he stole from a hookup when he was sixteen, he’s grown into it now. Talk about Ian’s onstage dancing, used to be a stripper, well, not saying you can’t still do private performances (?? you know what I mean! this is not what they’re saying but you’ll remember it)

Talk about wanting to learn playing the trumpet. Don’t have trumpet playing lips.

”Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to, I believe in you.”

Looks at Mickey and smiles.

”What?”

”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”

”Maybe.”

”Huh”

“What?”

“Oh nothing.” “Just re-evaluating everything you’ve ever said to me.”

”Re-evaluate this;” gives Ian the finger.

”That an invitation?”

”Fuck you is what it is,”

“sounds like an invitation.”

That’s when a taxi pulls up and Ian walks toward it

Could use some help with these.

They ride in silence

They carry Ian’s instruments from the car, and Ian says something cute

Mickey’s like “Stop, hold this” giving Ian back the guitar, so he can grab on to him and kiss him, smiling against Ian lips as the guitar tips over and clatters on the asphalt.

They’re outside Ian’s house, Ian says he has to get up at an unholy hour tomorrow. Invites him in anyway.

There he asks Ian to play him something that other people don’t get to hear (mostly to be a cheeky monkey, but also because he wants it) and Ian plays him None the wiser.

I’ve walked a thousand miles to end up in your corner booth

Grinning idiot when you bitch, falling fool for your dirty mouth

Sitting on my busy hands when you swagger by and I say -

Hey waiter, pour some coffee in my cup and bring me my toast, before you fuck me up

I’ve been in some thousand fights and it’s clear that so have you, too

Faded threats and cigarettes, sharp glass polished by the sea

Wish you’d put your hands on me and make your feelings clear

Hey waiter

meet me ‘round the back door, tell me I’ve got it wrong and fuck me up some more

‘Cause I’ve fallen a thousand times but never felt this way before, like I should have met you long ago

Walked with you by my side and had your back through thick and thin

Sickness and health, come what may, and I say-

Hey waiter

pop the damn champagne

None the wiser

you fuck me up again

Hey waiter

tell me you’ll be mine

I’ll give you my life

and fuck you up in kind

I wish I was just a plain white shirt

then you could wear me off to work

and I’d be one of the things you keep close to your heart

soft white cotton wrapped around your heart

(Contrasts have faded now

but color still haunt my mind

And words ripped off from their lines

Make bitter tears flood my eyes

Don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you)

Honey, cutie, sweetie-pie

My darling boy, sweet old times

As long as I keep you in mind

I will remember what love is like

So, don’t think I’ll stop my mourning

Don’t I know it’s overdue

Just because I’ve gotten older

None the wiser, I cry for you

’Cause I always say ’I love you’

when I mean ’turn out the light’

And I say ’let’s run away’

when I just mean ’stay the night’

But the words you want to hear

you will never hear from me

I’ll never say ’happy anniversary’

Never stay to say ’happy anniversary’

Bom-chaka bom-chak 23 verses

And he climbed up a mountain

And he looked around

Some kind of forest

With all these dinosaurs

And he stripped his woman

He stripped her bare

But there was a pterodactyl

There!

[finderskeepersff]

71. Part 2

Who would have thought, Cassius Warren in a whole different country. Like this ain’t no just going to France for a holiday but in Sofia’ home town, I feel scared as shit. She already threatened to kill me, you never know now. I am such weirdo when it comes to travelling to a whole different country, just we never did family holidays and now this. I am nervous as fuck about this shit, I am amazed by it all. The country is different, interesting and a lot to explore. I am going to need some time to get used to this, like for real “it’s nice here ain’t it?” looking away from the window “it’s different, does your family know you are coming?” I mean it is her family, they are a little weird at times “they do, I told them and they are so excited” that is great “will your mom be there?” I expect her to be there “you know she will be Cassius, I don’t think I care to be honest. I just want to see my family, I can’t wait to hug them all. Wait till you see them all” Sofia is way too excited “oh right, so where we staying then?” I never asked that “at my gran gran home, where else?” furrowing my eyebrows “even me?” pointing at myself “I mean if you want to get a hotel you can, but I am staying there with them. She wants me too, me and gran gran are so close. I don’t think she will approve of you staying in the bed with me, we’re not married” this is hell “don’t look scared Cassius, I know this is different but they are going to love you as much as they love me. I mean my mom, she is just her but only I can be mean to you, if they say anything to you then just tell me but they won’t. You will get used to it” Sofia touched my hand, looking down at her hand and she was quick to move it away “you just remembered you’re angry with me huh?” I need some air, this car ride is so long “Henry keeps on calling me, I don’t want to speak to him” I don’t feel like it “Cassius, you need to speak to him. Don’t shut him out like that” I can do what I like.

Twenty minutes later and we are still in this cab ride, this shit is never ending I want to walk and stretch my legs out “oh my gosh, we’re like so close now. We are practically here” I have no idea, I am just sat here accepting my fate, Sofia just said to come and I did. I knew coming here I would feel lost as fuck, I don’t know what I am doing with myself at all and at least in America I am something and here I am just a piece of shit that was fucking both of her grand daughter, see how terrible that sounds, I know she will know and she ain’t going to like me. I will have to hide behind Sofia through it all because if that was me and my family and some guy was coming to my home after fucking with my grand kids, I will whoop their asses because that is my family. I mean if I don’t like it, I will just fly back out “it’s here!” Sofia yelped, looking over at her “where?” this is a very poor part I think anyways “look, it’s here” she pointed at a one storey white home, it’s small in size, even when I was poor my home was bigger “it’s a hut?” I questioned “a hut? Cassius, this is my gran gran home, this is where we will be staying” I feel stressed out already “you have weed here, I need weed. Excuse me, friend. You have weed?” I asked the driver, he laughed as he stopped the car “you can find it, we do have weed here” he said, find it but I need it now “I can’t believe you called my gran gran home a hut, that is so mean and rude” I shrugged “well I mean, am I wrong? Sofia it’s small, you say I can’t sleep in the same bed as you, where the fuck am I going to stay?” Sofia is ignoring me as she got out of the cab and left me to pay, she would do that.

This is not my type of fun, at all “hold him for me, he’s hurting my back” taking Cartier from Sofia “the fuck” moving behind Sofia “its’ my gran gran dog, Albert, hey baby” this dog is malnourished “and this bitch is still alive” and Sofia is touching it, look at the thing “you need to quit it, you will be living with that thing” that dog don’t like me, well I don’t like him already “Sofia, Gran, Sofia is here. She is here” this is where the fun starts, Sofia walked off and left me stranded with the suitcases, I mean these are three big ass fucking suitcases “look at you Erica, you have grown!! Come here” I swallowed hard looking around me, this is going to be so much fun. Sofia barely likes me, her family are going to know the shit I did and there is only Cartier. Cartier lifted his head up “you awake again sleepy head” kissing his cheek, I think Sofia’ Gran has come out. Oh my god, there is so many people coming out of that home, it’s like a circus. I mean not a circus but like there is many people coming out “what we going to do Cartier, we stuck here. Your mom left me here with the suitcases and you, if they kill me here you know I love you” they could easily do that to me after everything I have done to their family, they must know about Celine because her mom would not let that slide at all “oh god” her mom is there and Sofia is still hugging her gran, she hasn’t even moved on yet.

I ain’t about this life, I am meeting the family. I don’t know how to act, I don’t do this. I have never done this, I met her mother but she is a bitch. I feel like running away right now, there is people shouting from the other houses at Sofia’ family but they all know each other “I am back for a few weeks! We will meet up” Sofia said back, oh my god. They are looking at me “Cartier, we doomed bro. You know that?” looking at him, Cartier looked at me “see, you know son we doomed. Like don’t let shit slide, cry if you need too. You don’t need to like them, neither do I” I don’t do meet the family, I don’t do dates, I don’t do family, I don’t do kids, I don’t do wife but here I am, here I stand for Sofia. If she don’t see how much I do love her then maybe we aren’t meant to be “be nice Gran, he is nervous” Sofia said as they walked closer to me, I am sweating a lot and I know they can see that if I feel it so much “don’t look like that” Sofia said to me “this is my gran gran Jackie, my beautiful queen” Sofia kissed her cheek, do I say hi. My brain has gone to shit “you the boy that stole my grand baby heart, this is Cassius” they are a whole army and I ain’t feeling the threat, her gran stepped closer to me and Cartier just like me wanted to run he burst out crying holding me, I want to do the same but I can’t “oh baby, he is cute. I see why you like him” Sofia eye balled me and I did it back to her “he still needs to learn gran, learn how to say hi” Sofia mean mugged “oh yeah, hi erm” I swallowed “Jackie” that is her name, she just smirked at me, am I a freak show because they are all staring at me. Do I get my hand out to her or do I hug her, I decided on shaking her hand “no baby, you come here” Sofia’ gran is short as fuck but her arms extended close enough, I leaned down and she grabbed my face and yanked me down to her, pressing a kiss to my cheek “you got freckles, my eyes aren’t that bad. Sofia he is cute, I like him” my cheeks must be burning up, I just know it because my cheeks are getting warm as fuck and her gran is just staring at my face “he is handsome, I approve” I didn’t know I needed that seal of approval, she let my face go “this is my husband Marcel, come and say hi to Sofia’ husband” I blinked several times at the husband part, don’t they know we not “Cassius” I got my hand out to him, hopefully he doesn’t start kissing me either “Marcel, welcome to Barbados” you can tell this is Sofia’ family, they all have that similar look and I see Cartier in them “hey Cassius, I’m Sofia’ auntie, Auntie Latifah” Cartier is crying his eyes out and trying to move away from everyone and then he won’t go to Sofia “hi” waving back at her “this is my uncles, Daron, and Leyton” Sofia pointed at them, they look mean a little bit anyways “hey” I said to them “Leyton is named after my uncle and you know my brother” nodding my head “so altogether you have two aunties and two uncles?” Sofia never said “I do, we are a big family here” Sofia said smiling at me “and my mom” grace doesn’t seem happy to see me “these are my cousins, all of them here” there is too many of them “what’s wrong?” Looking at Cartier “they nice” Cartier hid his face in the crook my neck “I want to see him” Grace moved forward “I don’t think he’s ready to meet anyone” I said, I hate grace and her little fuck ass shit she does.

Sitting down on the couch, this is so small and so many people and it’s playing with my anxiety, shit is not it. I feel I’m back at Texas with those small ass rooms, I hated that shit “come here Cartier, it’s ok baby. Here is Bubzy” Sofia took Cartier from me and placed him on her lap, he is so sad but it’s new for him. Wiping his tears with my hand “Sofia he is so beautiful” one of her cousin came up to her “can we play with him!” One of the little girls ran up to Sofia also “he’s too small for that, you can see him here” she is so cute, the kids here are very cute but there is a lot of them “cousin, I can’t believe you having another baby too. You don’t wait” Sofia laughed “I know, Cassius this is my cousin Hope, this is Cassius” smiling at her “hey Cass! It’s weird seeing you here” Leyton sat next to me “feel the same way, you never said how big your family is. It’s huge” Leyton laughed “it’s so cool here, so much fun. I’m excited that my sister is here too, I get to see my nephew too. I love it here and I know you will too Cassius. I will show you all of the good places to eat. We live just down the road and” Leyton moved closer to my ear “my gran thinks you both married, heard them speaking about it” this is great, Sofia wasn’t lying when she said her gran won’t let us sleep together if we ain’t “I want to hold him Sofia, look at him Grace. He is so beautiful” I find it very awkward with Grace around, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. Getting my phone out of my pocket and it’s Ethan “he treat you well niece” one of Sofia’ mean ass uncles asked, I will take this call after. Sofia looked at me and I just looked at her “he does, he spoils me so much” I grinned at Sofia, Sofia actually touched my hand “what do you do then, you some rich person” Sofia looked at me and then eyed me to look behind, turning my head “erm, accountant” I lied, why the fuck would I tell the truth, I just don’t be feeling their vibe and neither am I feeling the vibe from Grace, with me anyways “nice” he doesn’t look happy with me, I can sense it.

“Aww sweetie, you want a drink?” Sofia’ gran asked “erm, no. Can I go outside to smoke?” I need it “oh you can, use it like your own home” Cartier is knocked out asleep after he had some milk “just go out the back door, you can do it there” Sofia pointed saying, Ethan also keeps ringing “ok, cool” getting up from the couch “pull your jeans up” Sofia said as I pulled up my jeans “I was” smiling at her, moving by the various people, this place is too small and I don’t really like it at all “you smoke” Jackie said, pushing the door open and the breeze hit me, some air that I needed. Stepping outside, jogging down the steps. Some fresh air, the air here is nice. Getting my cigarettes out and pulling one out, I don’t have any weed but hopefully I get to find some here, placing the cigarette between my lips and placing my phone against my ear to call Ethan back. Lighting my cigarette “what the fuck I hear, how are you all the way in Barbados!!” He shouted down the phone, I near choked on the smoke, he sounds so distraught. Moving the cigarette away from my lips “uh yeah, after what happened. I told Sofia, she ain’t happy and she wanted to come and I came to make her happy. But some real fuck shit though, I think her family, some of them don’t like me. Mean mugging me and shit, but I’m here. What is up? You kept calling?” Pacing the around the yard “I got diamonds, now what?” He done it “Mitch, I told you this. I need you to go Atlanta, check over my business” this is cool, you can see the beach from here “I will, I met up with Celine. Like you said, she fought me. Like I was shook, but we agreed on something” placing the cigarette against my lips, she can never leave this life “tell me” blowing the smoke out “she moving drugs” told her I would get her, turning around to pace back towards the house and I have an audience, I froze “mhmm you know what, I will call you back” disconnecting the call.

There is something really weird about her uncles, I don’t know but it’s something about them. Flicking my cigarette onto the floor “you not going to put that in the trash?” One of them said “I don’t know where that is” walking over to them “right there” he pointed “for next time then” I mean what else they want “my sister told us you was with my niece Celine and you used to beat her” furrowing my eyebrows “huh? I don’t know what you mean, I didn’t do anything like that” shaking my head “so you saying my sister is lying to us huh? Your family got my niece pregnant, you and your brother fucked my niece Celine and now you fucking Sofia, you come here” I knew this would happen, I had a feeling “Grace is lying” one of them grabbed my tee “look you my older right, but I suggest you let go of me. I ain’t here for you or anyone but Sofia” he got in my face “Grace hasn’t said anything! My sister told us, cried to us. Don’t let him come in this house but I promised her I would get him, dead like his brother. Celine still told us to leave you alone” I stared in shock until I felt a fist to my face and I just fell bsck a little, I quickly gathered myself in shock that he did that to me. I was going to attack back but I heard Sofia’ laugh, Sofia is in there and I already done her wrong. Seeing him charge at me but I ran, I ran off to avoid getting riled up and hit him back which I don’t want to do.

“Seriously cousin, you laughing but your pum pum must be destroyed” Hope is so stupid “well I think she is going to be small” touching my stomach “she!!” She half shouted “auntie she is having a girl” my mom’ eyes widened “oh, I’m so happy for you” my mom looks like she has so much to say to me but doesn’t know what to say, now that I am here. I smiled as they all congratulated me “I am so happy, I can’t wait to meet her. I have never been so happy” I can’t stop smiling “what has happened?” Uncle Daron asked as he walked back in “they found out I’m having a girl uncle” he gasped “awww my niece, that is beautiful. She will be beautiful just like you” I shrugged laughing “I mean if she looks like her dad she will still be the cutest thing, I don’t mind. I know it’s all so soon, and gran will say it but I am getting it out of the way, you know” Leyton looks so grown, I like it. He looks much more happier “I think you and Grace have so much to speak about and I hope you both can do that, the both of you” my gran has spoken so that needs to happen “we will soon, how was Christmas for you all? Nice?” I don’t know who to speak too, they are all here “it was wonderful, you should have come then too. Bryce was here, he a whole brat” I laughed “you ain’t happy about that?” my grandfather is not pleased “I wanted to whoop his ass” my gran hit his arm “you stop that” I smiled at my grandparents, they are so cute together “Leyton told us you live in a big home in America, is it true?” Hope asked “uh yeah, it’s ok” I don’t want to brag now.

I groaned out tasting my gran gran coconut bread, it is the best “I hope you’re cooking for me tonight, I missed your cooking” seeing my mom making her way over to me “girl, you still gon cook for me” my gran pointed at me, moving Cartier shoes as she sat down. Looking around me, here I am eating and Cassius has been missing outside “erm, Leyton. Can you go outside and tell Cassius I want him please. He should be out back” I shouldn’t neglect him like that “ok” Leyton walked off “my mom is not wrong we need to talk, but it’s nice to see you. You look so well Sofia” my mom said “you mean happier” she nodded her head “I needed to get away from you, even if it wasn’t with Cassius. I needed to get away from you, you was toxic for me. You hurt me a lot, and still till this day no matter I still want you. But you have treated me like shit, you allowed a lot of shit to happen to me. I have my own child I could never do what you have done, I am having my own daughter now and I don’t understand how you could let me go through that, how? As a mother, I would take their pain” feeling tap on my shoulder “he ain’t there Sofia” Leyton said “what do you mean he isn’t there? Go and look properly, he will be around Leyton. Don’t do half assed shit” he can be so lazy at times “I was never made to be a mother, I looked at you and I saw him. Even though you look like us, I do see him in you and I am sorry. But I am in a good place right now, and I will make it up to you. I should have moved here years ago, I should have. But like we don’t need to talk about it now but I will speak to you. To see Cartier, from the pictures and now here. It gets me choked up, he is a mini you. Just like you” I smiled faintly “maybe in looks but he is just like Cassius” hearing Leyton shouting again “I told you he isn’t outside, I walked all the way around the house” seeing Leyton walk in through the front door, frowning “what do you mean? Did anyone see him come in? Did he go to the toilet” getting up from the couch “he might have gone in that bathroom” my mom said, let me check.

Seeing an empty bathroom, I have checked every room and he isn’t here. My heart is in my mouth right now “right, who has seen him? I am not joking right now, where is he!?” walking back into the living room “what do you mean? How you do that!?” my mom spat, walking into an argument “can you just hold off on that, please who has seen Cassius? It’s not a joke, like I need to know where he is” the whole room is quiet, so nobody has seen him. Rushing to my bag “Sofia, your uncle hit him” I froze as I reached into my bag “you what!?” I said looking at my mom “he was just telling me, Daron hit him and he said he ran off” I am in shock right now “what?” turning to my uncle “what?” I said again “he is guilty Sofia, he ran off. He with you but was with your cousin Sofia, you accept that. He hit her” you have got to be kidding me “no, no, no. I don’t care, where is he?” Daron shrugged “I am surprised you’re even alive right now, I am not even joking about that. You don’t know Cassius, how fucking dare you!” my mom grabbed my arm “aye!” my grandfather said “you all calm down now, Daron and Leyton, you both just go. You don’t be hitting people” unlocking my phone wanting to cry “I didn’t say anything” my mom said to me in a whisper, I sobbed out tapping his name “he is bad man Sofia” my uncle Leyton said “no, you don’t know him” hearing the phone ring out “he is out there, he is not from here! If anything has happened to him, I will fucking kill you” I pointed at my uncle “can you both just leave now” my mom said “what’s up?” Cassius picked up ever so calm “where are you?” my voice is every high pitched “where did you go!?” I am here panicking “oh, I found a bar. I am just sat here, the first one I saw. I am not drunk” I breathed out “just stay there” disconnecting the call “y’all are ruining my fucking time, fuck! You don’t know him, any of you” I pointed at them all “Sofia, we don’t judge him. The men are stupid” Hope said “you found him Sofia, baby you go and see to him” my gran said.

I had to bring Cartier with me, he doesn’t know them and I wouldn’t want to leave Cartier with them. My cousins walked with me but I said for them to wait outside, pushing Cartier inside the bar. He better be here, he doesn’t understand how scared I got for him. He doesn’t know this country, it’s a nice place but there is always evil. Seeing the back of Cassius, he is sat with his back facing the door. I am just so glad to see him alive and ok, pushing the stroller closer to him “hey” placing my hand on his back, Cassius looked up at me “hey, you good? Was you crying?” Cassius said as he got up from the seat, he hugged me and it made me even more emotional “I was so scared, I thought someone took you and then I was blaming myself because I made you come here” I am getting emotional again “nah, I am good. I just walked and found this place” he moved back from the hug “your face looks so sore” Cassius shrugged “it’s nothing, I have had worse. You want anything to drink?” he asked and I shook my head, he placed his hands over my face “don’t cry, I am good” he kissed my forehead before letting my face go, turning the stroller around “hey dada boy, you awake” pulling the chair out to sit down, Cartier is actually waving his arm at Cassius, he is happy to see his dad “why didn’t you come inside? Told me at least” Cassius sat back down “too many people there, too many people judging already and I ain’t with it, I was so close to hitting him, beat them but I heard you laughing and I didn’t want to ruin your time here, so I took and ran off. I guess they know about Celine, I would have called you but I just calmed down now” seeing his drinks, he has drank three glasses of something “if you want, we can go to a hotel. Everyone in that room was for you Cassius, they was upset to see me upset. I am sorry, they had no right” Cassius shrugged “I mean, I would do the same. I am the nigga that got with you, and did what I did to your cousin but if I met you earlier she would have been a none factor, it’s just wack that I didn’t but I did it for you, I ain’t beat their asses for you” I breathed out “and that means a lot to me but I won’t have anyone disrespect you, just please don’t walk off like that again. Like, I thought I lost you. My gran wants you to come back to the house” I am not sure if Cassius is tired or tipsy, he is way too calm for my liking but I am ever so sad that this happened.

[ragnarachael]

“I used to draw naked models,” Addy started as she laid back in the truck bed, her arms under her head as she started to look at the stars.

“Really?” 10k asked in disbelief, still hugging his gun to his chest as he stared at the open road ahead of them in the bed, nothing in sight for the third hour now.

“Yup, best classes I ever signed up for,” Addy confirmed, the pair sharing a chuckle together before they fell silent again.

10k swung his feet as his eyes darted to the trees, hearing some shuffling as he perked up a bit, his gun starting to fall into his hands in alert.

Addy started to sit up, her z whacker not too far from reach.

“See anything?”

“Nope, not yet,” 10k confirmed quietly, starting to slowly slip off of the truck bed to go investigate. Addy started to follow his lead, only to get a look and a harsh shush sent her way.

She simply rolled her eyes and grabbed her whacker, quietly walking behind 10k for back up.

Once they’d gotten to the tree line, they both looked in separate directions.

10k to the left. Addy to the right.

In the end, they both found nothing, and returned to the truck after peeking through the windows to check and be sure that everyone was asleep and safe before slipping back to sit on the edge of the truck’s bed, the both of their feet swinging as their knees occasionally bumped together.

10k was first to break the silence.

“When you drew naked models,” he started, moving his gun to place on his free side before clasping his hands together to place them in his lap, his attention turning towards Addy completely now. “Were there.. Y’know..”

“Naked people?” Addy finished for him gently, raising a brow as she swing her z whacker in time with her feet. 10k nodded gently after Addy made eye contact with him.

“Well, yeah. I can’t make assumptions on how the human body looks, how do you think Michelangelo did all of those naked marble sculptures of men in women in like, whatever B.C.,” Addy concluded, her gaze turning to the road in front of them. 10k scrunched his nose up and just slowly nodded, turning his head to look back at the road ahead.

“Wait, you probably have no idea who that is, do you?” Addy questioned carefully, her feet coming to the standstill to look back at 10k who just shrugged.

“I know he was a painter guy, or whatever. Never really saw what he did, me and Pa never really went to art places Pre-Z,” 10k said casually, Addy noticing his body language change drastically.

“One of these days when we come across a museum, I’ll take you around and show you all that I know,” Addy said confidently, gently nudging 10k’s arm with her elbow to get him to look over at her. “I promise.”

10k’s neutral facial expression turned into a small happy one, giving Addy a shy nod before the silence fell over them once more, the occasional sniffle or cough coming from them or inside the truck.

It was another hour added to the clock when they started conversation again.

“How did you and Mack meet?” 10k asked quietly, knowing well that it was still a touchy subject. Addy visibly tensed up before clearing her throat.

“We ran into each other at a hockey game, actually. Saved my ass before I got good,” Addy said slightly smug, smiling a little as 10k let out a chuckle.

“I thought you were already good right out of the gate?”

“I was good, but not that good,” Addy reassured him, sending an amused look his way before sliding off the truck bed to walk around a bit, stretch out everything.

“How did you start in this messed up world, huh? Were you already a master sniper?” Addy questioned playfully, a smile growing on 10k’s face as he looked down at the ground, a faint blush dusting over his cheeks.

“Nah, that was more Pa than me,” 10k responded bashfully, Addy noticing the grip on his gun tighten.

“He saved me after I was out fishin’, actually. Some hunters came up and I was tryin’ to help them, but Pa came in and saved the day, like he always did,” 10k elaborated slowly, his smile staying as he reminisced on his Pre-Z days.

Addy smiled just as wide as 10k did.

“Really? Did he teach you how to shoot?”

“Nah, I did that by myself. I took one of the zombies guns before running off to the truck. This thing has lasted me a while,” 10k reasoned, gently patting the barrel as he looked over the entire length of the gun while Addy watched him, just observing how he moves.

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like?” 10k said suddenly, snapping Addy’s attention back to his face completely.

“What do you mean?”

“What it would be like if the day this all happened just.. Never happened,” 10k explained, turning his head to look right back at Addy now, seeing her face contort into what he assumed was thought.

“I mean, yeah. All the time,” Addy concluded, turning her attention to the tree line behind 10k.

“I think about how I would have gone home and seen my Mom and brother and tell them about how we got our asses handed to us by the Chiefs,” Addy continued, letting out a humourless chuckle, moving to place her z whacker onto the truck bed next to her now on her free side.

“I woulda told my Pa about how good the fish were bitin’, and I probably would have still ran into that tree-”

“Hold on, you ran into a tree?” Addy questioned suddenly, a bit of a laugh in her voice as she gently nudged 10k once more who started to let out a laugh, shrugging.

“Maybe I did, I wasn’t coordinated then like I am now,” 10k admitted, turning his gaze to the road, Addy following suit before she carefully placed her head on his shoulder gently.

“You’re still not that coordinated,” Addy mumbled loudly, getting a small flick on her nose from 10k in retaliation which caused her to let out a small laugh.

“Okay, you’re somewhat coordinated.”

“Thank you, Addy,” 10k said in a teasing tone, resting his cheek on top of her head.

“Do you think we should move back so we can be more comfortable?” 10k quietly suggested as he tried to stay still for Addy’s head. In response, Addy just let out a small groan followed by a small hum of agreement, grabbing her z whacker and suddenly scooting back, trying not to cause too much noise or movement to wake everyone else before 10k followed suit.

They got comfortable once more and had their weapons in hand, but they didn’t anticipate falling asleep until their shift was over.

Eventually morning came, and Warren moved out of the cab of the truck to make sure everyone was awake until she came upon Addy and 10k who were leaning onto each other for support as they snoozed, 10k’s bandana somehow covering at least one of his eyes, his hair almost covered completely by Addy’s.

She didn’t really want to mess with them. They both looked so peaceful and she couldn’t bare to ruin the peace.

Warren sighed quietly and reached over to at least move Addy’s hair from 10k’s so he didn’t accidentally breathe it in, quickly pulling her arm back from Addy when she started to shift into a slightly different position.

Once Warren was happy with the placing of Addy’s hair she smiled fondly and quietly made her way back to the driver’s seat.

“Everything alright, chief?” Doc questioned as he rubbed his eyes in the passenger seat as Warren climbed in and shut the door quietly.

“Yeah, everything’s a-okay.”

“Where’s 10k and Addy?” Doc questioned suddenly, looking in the back seat only to see Murphy, Cassandra and the new guy, Vasquez, still all asleep, Warren’s wake up call clearly not being successful.

“They’re sleepin’ in the truck bed,” Warren said simply, flipping the visor down for the keys.

“You didn’t have the heart to wake ‘em, did ya?” Doc asked gently, looking over at Warren knowingly as she started the truck, wincing at the loudness of the engine.

“They’ve earned it,” Warren replied knowingly, shifting the truck into gear while Doc just smiled widely before they started driving off to start their day.

[sillylittlelillymay-blog]

One Night Stand Turned Into Forever

annalisa stood with her bag over her shoulder, waiting patiently. Her stomach was filled with butterflies and tying in knots. She only done this one other time. She looked down at her feet hearing a car pulled up made her stomach drop. He got out of the car in tight jeans and a plain black shirt. He was much more handsome in person then his picture on his profile made it seem like.  

"Annalisa?" He asked , his voice sent shivers down her spine. She rubbed her arm feeling goosebumps down her arms.  

"yes, Warren, right?" She asked softly and he nodded. He took her up in his arms and hugged her... tightly. 'god he smells so good' she thought to herself as she hugged him back. He let her go but held her hand as he walked over to the door of his truck. The door creecked as it sung open and he helped her up into her sit. His hand was on her back which caused her to tremble with excitement. Once she was fully in her seat he hurried over to his side and got in then started to drive. She had fore warned him that she was shy. So the ride on the way to his house the music was the only thing that was heard.  

Once there she looked around and smiled "you live on a lake?" She asked excitedly.

He laughed "yes well my cousin does Im staying with them for a while" he walked over and helped her out and took her hand leading her into the house.  

All the nerves she felt went away when he kissed her hard. She moaned against his lips pressing against him. Soon all their clothes were off and they were on the leather couch. They were touching and kissing parts of each other that neither had gotten attention to in a while. She whimpered when suddenly his hands and lips were no longer on her skin. But instead he was between her legs his hard cock throbbing against her thigh.  

"are you ready baby?" He whispered looking at her. She nodded quickly and he thrusted into her over and over harder and harder. They moved together as one. Soon she was screaming out his name and he was grunting hers as he pulled out and came all over her bare stomach. They came together and came down together. They laid there breathing hard and content. His body was so sweaty but she didn’t care.  he groaned and rolled off of her smiling.  

"wanna go fishing?" He asked softly. She laughed and nodded getting up. They both put their clothes on and walked out to the dock so he could go fishing. They talked about everything now. About how he possible might be having a child. He also talked about how he would be with the mother of his child if he could because they were best friends. But she was with someone else and he didn’t like him much. While standing there listening to him she felt like she didn’t want to stand in the way if his best friend wanted to be with him later. After a while they walked back into the house to sit and cuddle for a bit. Before she knew it they were kissing agian and soon she was on her hands and knees on the couch. he was behind her thrusting into her agian then stopped for a bit kissed her and ran out to his truck and grabbed something. she laid breathing hard biting her lip. a smile spread across her face when he return, lube in hand. He got back on his knees behind her. he quickly lubed up her ass and his cock before carefully sliding into her ass which had never been fucked before. she gasped out his name moving back agianst him as their sweatly bodies slammed together over and over agian. He reached around her and began rubbing her clit faster and faster until another orgasm rocked through her body. her body tensed causing her ass to squeeze around his throbing cock in return caused him to cum hard in her ass. once they came down they dressed again and fell asleep on the couch until he had to take her to work. once there she stepped out of the truck and waved goodbye making the choose then to stay out of his way when it came to his best friend.

A few years later Annalisa was thinking about Warren it was very out of the blue but she wanted to know how he was. she called her friend Xael up and conviced her to drive him to his house hopinng he still lived there or they would know him. once they pulled in she got out of the car and headed to the front door and knocked on it. "lissy nobody seems to be home come on!" Xael yelled from her car, Annalisa shook her head "imma check around the back" she headed around and was greeted by and older man. "hello can i help you?" he asked looking puzzled "hi i was just looking for Warren. is he here?" she asked softly "im anna" the older mans eyes widden "anna? as in Annalisa?" she nodded "yeah i uh havent seen him in a while and.." the guy cut her off "soo youre the girl who ruined him" "ruined him?" "yeah because you disappered. he fell for ya you know?" "no i didnt know... i didnt mean to i thought he would be happier with mary" she said softly talking about Warrens best friend "him and mary never got together and turns out the baby wasnt even his" he said looking at annalisa who looked very shocked. "i..i didnt know. i came to say sorry i didnt mean to hurt him. when will he be home?" "he should be home soo if you would like to wait" "i would thank you" she said and then walked back to her friends car and told her everything "listen lissy im sure you remember him differently but he doesnt look like your type" Xael pointed out "he is. his profile picture doesnt do him justice" she said softly. she heard the same similar truck coming down the road and her heart began to race. she watched as he pulled in not noticing her yet. he jumpped out of his truck. the years had been kind to him. he walked right past her still lost ini his own thoughts being pulled out of them hearing someone call his name She called his name once but he didnt look back the second time he stop dead in his tracks and turned seeing her. she smiled that sweet smile of his and his knee buckled. he shook his head and then turned back around heading to his boat and headed out onto the lake. the older man who she had learned was his uncle yelled after him then got in his and headed after him. Annalisa was almost in tears when he ran away from her. she no longer had the strength to stay standing. she sunk to the ground and bite her lip. she knew she messed up. hours had past and neither of them return. Xael helped her up and was gonna help her into the car when he pulled in, in a different truck halling a old camper behind it. two dogs jumoed out of the cab and one ran over to her. he was one the phone with an animal settler. he sound very angery and concerned. he thanked her for catching the one dog before his uncle took them both inside and warren headed into the camper. Xael nodded toward it and annalisa followed him. both inside he shut a door between him and her and she sighed "look im so sorry. i thought i was doing what was right. you seemed so in love with her and i didnt want to stand in the way of that. i just wanted to tell you im sorry for disappering. i understand if you dont want to talk to me" he laided his head agianst the door "its not that i dont want to  talk to youu. its the seeing you thing thats getting to me" "wha..?" he slammed open the door walked over to the door to leave the camper and shut it. "i cant see you. it hurts. youre smile, the way you brush your hair behind you ear. the way you refused help at work.." "you saw me at work?" he nodded "before you left i would drive by to try and talk to you but i couldnt, i was so hurt. damn it Lissy dont you realize i fell in love with you that day and seeing you does two things to me" he looked at her in a very serious manner "makes my heart feel like its gonna pound out of my chest and..." he grabbed her hand and placed it on his raging hard on that was concelled by the tight jeans. she squeezed gently causing him to groan and shake his head "dont..." he whispered but before he knew it she was down on her knees, his jeans were around his ankles and his cock was out of his boxers and down her throat. she sucked on him like it was her job. she stared up at him as her eyes began to water. he pulled her up, bent her over the counter in the camper, pulled down her soaked panties and began to fuck her hard. it didnt take long before they were both yelling each others name and cumming hard. he pulled her agianst him and whispered "stay with me" "always" she whispered back and kissed him

[inflagranteinnuendo]

i died at your barba & co-counsel hc could we get a sequel pls (with more legal jargon in or outside of the courtroom because omg you make it sound so hotttt)

you think legalese is hot? hella. me too

Read part 1 here

pre-scriptum nota bene 1: you should read Part 1 before this one

pre-scriptum nota bene 2: oops this turned out a little (really) angsty and a little (very very) long

pre-scriptum nota bene 3: I’m still canadian so you know the drill, let me know if i make glaring mistakes in describing american judicial processes

Tuesday night. 

You watch as Rafael Barba makes you an elaborate cafecito, looking unusually business-casual without his tie.

Things should be stilted between you. But they weren’t –and that’s all due to the intensity of Barba’s laser-sharp focus on the case at hand and his capacity to compartmentalize. And you –well, you’ve never had such a relationship with someone you considered a mentor before. You were normally the sharpest at navigating uncertainty (see: rubber chicken dinners and 7-part interviews) but there was something about you and Barba that was… inexplicably foreign.

It didn’t help that you were both so busy (with the case and micro-managing the media circus) that you’ve never discussed it together. 

It was like those 24 hours never happened. 

He had never touched you since. Not once, not even a hand on the arm.

“-could drop them a line so they can hang themselves with it, what do you think?”

You startle when Barba sets the cup in front of you, momentarily disoriented from being jerked out of your thoughts. “Uh,” you utter, scrambling for a shred of coherency. If the managing partner of your firm could see you now, she’d bury your career. “That’s… contingent on whether we lose the least progressive jurors’ empathy for the victim,” your say slowly, watching him settle down in the chair beside you.

Barba surveys your face critically. “And that’s a risk we should or shouldn’t take?”

You shiver at his wording. 

“We shouldn’t,” you say quietly into your cup. You shouldn’t. If this -whatever this was with Barba- gets back to your firm, your reputation goes down the drain. 

Barba narrows his eyes at you and leans in with a forearm on the back of your chair. “Elaborate.”

You swallow nervously and gather your thoughts, trying to ignore the heat of him across your scapula. “Ms. Warren doesn’t exactly fit their cookie-cutter mould of a victim, does she? She’s COO of Scioni, top of the corporate food chain, and she’s being painted by Buchanan as a power-hungry, misandrous bitch who takes pleasure in humiliating her male employees. If you attempt to manipulate Buchanan, you’re just going to substantiate their claim and perpetuate that image of-”

You jump in surprise when you feel Barba slide his free hand up your calf and flicks a thumb against the inside of your knee before toying with the hem of your skirt, rucked up by your crossed legs.

“Why?” Barba asks with a frown.

“Uh, I thought- I thought I just explained, Ms. Warren-”

“No,” he interrupts you impatiently. “You’ve never been nervous with me. Not when I mistook you for an intern when we met, not after I chastised you for taking a deposition without me. Why now? What changed?”

What changed? What changed? After he had first wrapped your hair around his fist and tugged, after he’s made the goddamn Supreme Court of the State of New York an unsuspecting voyeur to your sex games, –he’s now asking you-

“-what changed?” You laugh incredulously. “Are we really doing this, pretending that you and me never happened?”

Barba looks alarmed at your tone, but stills his hand against your knee and remains silent at your question.

Figures. You get up and push away from the dining table, quickly gathering your coat and bag before making your way toward the door without a backward glance.

You did not work your ass off for the last decade to reduce yourself to an emotional mess when you were about to close the very first case of your career. You were you. 

In 49 cases and 50 settlements, you will be a third year associate at a firm for which most attorneys would kill to have their CV cross the mailroom.

You have no time to waste on the likes of Rafael Barba, regardless of the depth of your feelings for him.

He speaks your name and catches your wrist gently as you slip into your heels.

“Don’t touch me,” you warn him.

He immediately lets go of you as if you had burnt him.

You win.

The moment the jury was dismissed, you turn around toward Ms. Warren, who was sitting in the first row behind the pews beside detective Benson. You give both of them a warm handshake, and bid Ms. Warren to take care. They leave.

You turn back toward your table, your euphoria fading as your gaze lands on ADA Barba. Since you left his place on Tuesday, there had been enough space between you for one-and-a-half Buchanans, but now, as you both make your way out the courtroom door, your hands grazing–

“Congratulations,” Barba finally says when you both make it past the press on the steps of the courthouse, under the darkening afternoon sky. “First case, first win. A rare feat.” 

“Thanks,” you reply numbly.

Before long, your shared cab glides to a stop in front of your place. 

You try to open the car door, but your fingers would not flex when the warm line of his thigh is pressing against your own just so.

Your eyelids flutter shut.

“I am going to invite you up,” you whisper, “for truce.”

He does not touch you. 

“Put up your right hand.”

“What?” you ask, flabbergasted.

“Do it,” he orders flatly, leaving no room for discussion.

You slowly raise your right hand, feeling silly, standing beside your heels in your cream Chloé dress and no-show socks.

“Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

You almost laugh in his face out of surprise but you quickly sober up when you realize that he was dead serious.

“Yes,” you say, humouring him.

He drops his briefcase and his coat on the side of your bed and steps up to you, but you stand your ground. “Why did you leave?”

Well. No time like the present. “Because there wasn’t anything to stay for, Rafael. You made it clear that-”

“I know Harvard hasn’t lowered its standards since I graduated,” he barks, interrupting you, “address the counsel like you were taught.”

You bristle, stung. “Sorry, Mr. Barba,” you amend plaintively. 

He circles you, slow, predatory. Your breathing grows shallower in anticipation.

“Who undressed you the first time I fucked you?”

“You, Mr. Barba,” you whisper, shivering at his foul language.

“Do you want me to undress you now?”

You breath stutter. You feel your face redden. “Y-yes, Mr. Barba.”

He reaches out and tugs on the ribbon around your waist. Your wrap dress unravels before him and slides off your shoulders. 

“What did you promise me when I was inside you last?” Barba says, taking off his cufflinks.

“That… I was yours,” you recall, feeling a flood of heat soak your panties.

Barba towers over you as he meticulously undresses. “So you remember that?” he asks.

You press your thighs together, also remembering how it felt to have him between them. “I do, Mr. Barba.”

He carefully lies you on the bed and kisses you possessively. You mewl against his tongue, burying your hands in his hair. Then he draws back.

“Do you think of me,” he pauses, slipping a hand into your panties to toy with your clit briefly before pulling your panties off entirely, “when you touch yourself?”

You turn your face to the side and bite your lip, embarrassed. 

“I d-decline to answer pursuant to my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution!” you gasp as he thrust two of his fingers inside you. He crooks them and you jerk against him in response.

“So you do?”

Your squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to come. You were nothing if not the most competitive person this side of the hemisphere. “1965!” you sob, writhing, clutching his biceps as he works you open on his fingers. “Griffin v. California –no inf-inference of g-guilt can be drawn f-from silence!”

“Not so silent now, though, aren’t you? Will you scream for me?”

“Yes, Mr. B-Barba,” you hiccup.

And you do.

He shoves you up against your headboard and fucks you like you matter, like you mean something to him. 

You cling to him, allowing yourself to suspend your disbelief, if only for a moment.

He steadies your jaw with one hand and kisses you hard. “Why did you leave?”

Unable to turn your head or look away from him, you squeeze your eyes shut against the sudden sting of your tears.

Mourning the loss of him already, despite him inside you.

He knows.

“Did you miss me?” 

He knows.

“Yes!” you cry, throwing all caution to the wind, and he rewards you with a thrust that drives him so deep that he fills you full. “Yes, I missed you.”

“Then. why. did. you. leave?” he growls. “Do you remember your promise? Say it.”

“I’m yours,” you gasp, and instantly come undone, dragging your nails down the length of his back.

He grinds into you, yielding himself to pleasure.

You breathe into each other’s mouth, him reluctant to leave your body, you reluctant to let him go.

“You don’t get to leave me,” he says with his forehead against yours. “You promised. That’s a verbal contract.”

“Yes, Mr. Barba.”

Read part 1 here

(img credit x)

[classic-rock-roller]

1. You’re sitting on the couch with Kevin and your son one evening when he asks Kevin, “Dad, can you sing me a song?” He smiles and says, “Of course, son.” You anticipate that he’ll sing one of QR’s songs, but instead he sings the Pokemon theme song, very enthusiastically. How do you and your son respond?

I’d look at him, “That was different.” Our son would tell him it was great and then run off and he’d go to me, “Do you think I’d sing one of my songs to our four year old?” “ Good point.” 

2. You and Kevin are at a party at a friend’s new house, and you go outside to see a hot tub. “That’s a nice hot tub,” you comment. Kevin responds with, “Let’s test it out.” He takes off his jacket. “But we’ve got nothing to wear.” “I don’t care.” How do you proceed?

“You are not going in there naked. We are at someone else’s house and I am not driving home with you in wet clothes in the passenger seat. No.” He’d pout but I’d drag him away after that.

 3. You’re in a record store with Kevin one day when someone sees the latest QR record and scoffs. “Ugh, these guys are so outdated, why don’t they get with the freakin’ program?” Kevin calmly tells him that he thinks QR is very good, and the guy just looks at him and says, “Did I freakin’ stutter, sister?” What does Kevin do and how do you respond?

Kevin punches him in the face and I have to drag him out of the store as he screams at the guy. 

4. Kevin really likes this one brand of soda, but they sadly discontinued it a while back. You come home one day to see he’s borrowing the sax player’s pickup, and the entire bed is full of that kind of soda. “What are you doing?” He grins and calls from the cab, “The store got some back in stock, so I’m stocking up!” How do you respond?

“A little overboard much? How much did this cost you?” 

5. Kevin’s got Randy and Co over one night, and they’ve all had a few drinks. Randy says out of nowhere, “I want a baby.” Kevin starts laughing and kisses him on the cheek. “Dude what are you doing?” Randy asks. Kevin laughs and says, “I put the babies in you, and you put the babies in me.” Randy is confused and Kevin is giggling like an idiot. What do the rest of you do?

The others are laughing historically and I go, “Ok that’s enough alcohol for you two.” 

6. Kevin’s up on the roof one day, and soon the neighbor starts to yell at him. He is yelling back, and the neighbor says, “I’m gonna kick your ass, you punk!” Kevin just shouts back, “Oh yeah? Then come on up, fatty!” What do you do?”

“Kevin, stop inviting fights with the neighbors. Get what you need to get done and come down.” 

7. Kevin’s got music playing one day when you come over. You’re listening comfortably when the song changes and Kevin yells “Oh shit nope nope nope” before vaulting over the couch to skip the song. What song was he so desperate to skip and how do you respond?

Cindy Lauper’s girls just want to have fun comes on. I smirk and go, “I see your a fan of preteen girls music.” “Oh shut up, it’s catchy.”

 8. You hate smoking, and you’ve told Kevin this on multiple occasions. You come home one day and find a soda can full of ashes in the bathroom. What do you do when Kevin comes home?

“Kevin, what have I told you about smoking?” “But I didn’t.” “Yes the fuck you did. I found the soda can in the bathroom.” “Oh” “And I can smell it on you.” “You can smell that? I smoked half of one thirty minutes ago.” Which would the make him cringe because he just admitted he smoked. 

9. Kelly pulled a gun on Randy the other day, and Randy’s girlfriend is beyond pissed. You’re all at your house trying to figure out what to do when someone calls your house. Rudy answers the phone, and after he hangs up he says, “Randy’s girlfriend went after Kelly, and she’s in jail with assault charges.” What do you all do?

If Randy’s there he gets annoyed at his girlfriend and heads to the door to bail her out I follow behind him because he is in no right mind to drive and the rest sit there for a minute before following behind us. 

10. You and QR are attending an open mic night one night, and Kevin walks up to the stage. He smiles real big, and just says this, “Attention restaurant customers: Ballsack. That is all.” Then hops down and sits back with you guys. What happens next?

"What the fuck was that Kevin?" I'd ask. "Oh, I just wanted to say something into the mic." 

11. You’re walking down the street with Kevin one day, and it’s really hot. You both are trying to find somewhere to get a drink, when Kevin calmly says, “Catch me.” You look at him, confused, and see that he’s collapsing. What do you do? 

I’d catch him and then go down myself. He’d then get up and help me. “What the fuck was that?” “Trust fall.”

—-

 1) You and Randy are at your son’s soccer game. You’re leaning against Randy’s legs and he’s massaging your shoulders. All of a sudden he starts to whisper inappropriate things in your ear. “Randy, stop that we’re in public.” How does he respond? 

2) Your son and daughter come up to you one day and ask you how you met their father, Randy. What do you tell them? 

3) You and Randy are walking the streets of New York City when a creepy guy comes out of nowhere and drags you into the alleyway. What does Randy do? 

4) You go to visit Kevin’s girlfriend in the hospital after she has their kid. (The two of you can’t believe Kevin is a father). While you’re holding their son, Randy leans over your shoulder and goes. “I want a baby.” How do you respond? 

5) You go over to Nikki’s house after his girlfriend comes to your house with a black eye. You bang on his door and when he opens it he’s rubbing his eyes and goes, “hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. Can I help you? Is something wrong?” What do you do? 

6) Kevin’s girlfriend asks you to watch their sixth month old son for a couple hours while they go on a date. She’s ok but Kevin keeps asking questions and inspecting your house to make sure it’s “baby proof.” What do you and Randy say to calm him down? 

7) While your band is in an interview, the interviewer keeps asking about your boyfriend Randy even though that’s not what the interview is about. How do you snd your band mates respond? And what does Randy do offstage? 

8) You play guitar as a hobby and one night your roommate Stephen comes to you and goes, “Warren got really sick and can’t play our gig tonight. Can you fill in for him please?” Do you fill in for Warren? 

9) You and QR stop at a museum while on a road trip and you hear Kevin go “Whoa wicked.” You come up behind him and see that he’s looking at a bunch of wires against a wall. He turns to you, “Isn’t this cool? It’s someone’s nervous system!” How do you respond? 

10) You come home from work to find Randy practicing guitar. It sounds like he’s working on something new. You ask him what it is and he goes, “It’s a song for you.” How do you respond? 

11) You’re sitting in on a QR concert at a bar and about halfway through the concert, two guys start throwing glass beer bottles onto the stage and scream, “you suck!” One hits Randy and another hits Kevin in the head. What do you do?

 @osbournebemydaddy your move love

[sunken-standard]

I just saw that someone had already asked for the number 53, so: 33. The door’s locked. / 59.…or we could make out….

“The door’s locked.” / “…or we could make out…”

“The door’s locked.”

“Of course it is,” Mollysaid, throwing her hands in the air.  Because obviously someone tapedthe hand-written ‘Door locks automatically, use brick!’ sign to itfor shits and giggles.

They cast about the loading dock; thethief had gone over the chain-link fence.

“Don’t even think it,” Mollysaid, looking at Sherlock as he eyed the fence.  He could go overjust fine; her, not so much.  Maybe if she weren’t wearing a pencilskirt and kitten heels…  "Next time you say 'dress like anoffice lady,’ I’m going to assume you mean Special Forces commando.“

Sherlock huffed and got out his phone.

"Wiggins’ll be here within thehour with bolt cutters,” he said after he got a return text.

“Why does it have to be him?  Whycan’t it be John or Mary or even Greg?”

“Yes, let’s have probably the mostwell-known copper in all of London stroll on up to a literal den ofthieves and say 'pardon me gents, mind if I have a gander at yourloading dock?  No, no reason, certainly not trying to rescue someonewho’s absolutely not Sherlock Holmes from an undercover operationthat definitely won’t put half of you lot in jail,’” Sherlockhissed, pulling Molly off to a weird little alcove on the side of thebuilding that probably once had a reason for existing, but was nowjust a quirk of architecture that collected debris.  "What’s thematter with Wiggins, anyway?“

"He always asks me about zombies. He legitimately thinks an actualzombie apocalypse is coming.”

“Iknow, I’ve seen the warren he calls a flat.  Consequently, if thereever is an apocalypse—zombie or otherwise—and Mycroft isunavailable, I know where we’re going,” Sherlock answered,leaning out of the alcove to keep an eye on the alley.

“Wherewe’regoing?”  Molly repeated.

“Wellwe can hardly stay at yours, we could maybe live off of the contentsof your cupboards for a week before we resorted to eating spicesstraight from the jar and chasing them with enough alcohol to drownhalf of Ireland,” he elaborated, apparently not picking up on orsimply ignoring her question.

“Soif it were the end of the world, you’d… save me?” she asked,feeling a bit warm.

“Ofcourse I would, don’t be stupid.  You have a relatively high IQ,you’re a doctor and you have a host of other useful skills, youprobably have time to bear at least three children assuming singlebirths at two-year intervals—”

“Soyou’d save me to be a brood sow,” she said flatly.  "Youmake it sound so romantic.“

"I’dsave you because you’re my friend,”he said.  "And of course we’d have to do our part to repopulatethe Earth.“

Shegave him an unimpressed look.

"Imight have thought about it a bit.  Wiggins talks.  A lot. Especially when you don’t want him to.  He makes some surprisinglyconvincing arguments.  When he’s coherent.”

“Argumentsas to why I should bear you your own pack of War Boys aftercivilization collapses.”

Sherlocknarrowed his eyes at her before turning back towards the alley. Another reference right over his head, and he’d even seen the film. He’d even likedthe film.

“Argumentsas to why a strong partnership would be more important in apost-apocalyptic world than it is in our current society.”

“Soyou think we have a strong partnership?” Molly asked,butterflies in her stomach.  This wasn’t a thing they talked about. Ever.  Or even alluded to.

“Youdid help me fake my death and keep it a secret from everyone you knewfor two years.  And we always win at Pictionary against John andMary.”

“There’sa useful skill when we’re being chased by a herd of undead,” shedeadpanned.  

“Yes,because we obviously already have an effective system of nonverbalcommunication.”

True,she thought, cocking her head.

See?Sherlock’s raised-eyebrow-face-tilt said.

Theyfell quiet then, the mood tense and kind of weird.

*

“Ohmy God what’staking him so long?  Did the zombie apocalypse actually start?”Molly said, leaning against the brick and scuffing her heel acrossthe concrete.

“Ithasn’t even been ten minutes,” Sherlock said, looking at hiswatch, then checking his phone again.  He’d stopped watching thealley because there was really nothing towatch; no one knew they were back there but the thief and hewasn’t telling anybody, since he’d been double-crossing all hispartners anyway.

“Ispy someth—”

“No.”

“I’mthinking of a number between one and—”

“Nope. But thirteen, because you always pick thirteen.”

Hewasn’t wrong.  "Capitols?“

Sherlocklooked at her, face completely blank, as though she was so dull thatit had robbed him of his will to live.

"Youwanna make out?” Molly joked.  The silence had been unbearableand she didn’t want to go back to it so soon.

Thatwas enough to startle him.  He narrowed his eyes again.  "Areyou suddenly channelling your inner American or is that from a film?“

”Ha-ha. Probably a film?  Or TV.  Nothing specific, though.  Just, ah, goback to watching the wall or whatever you were doing,“ she said,feeling like she’d suddenly metamorphosed into an ass a la LoonyTunes.

”…Orwe could make out…" Sherlock said nonchalantly.

Itwas Molly’s turn to narrow her eyes.  Was he serious?

“Youwere the one to suggest it,” Sherlock defended.

“Okay,”she said, thinking he wouldn’t.  

“Okay,”he said, turning his body to face her.  "Mint?“ he asked,holding out an open tin of Barkleys.

"Thankyou,” she said, taking one.  "Oh God, it’s aniseed, are youninety?“ she asked, making a face.  Spitting it out would berude.

Sherlockscowled and sucked on his own mint as he squirrelled the tin awayagain.  "You know the ancient Romans actu—” he began,then cut himself off when she stepped closer.

Shereally didn’t care what flavour the mint was.  This might be herliteral, actual, only chance ever to get to kiss Sherlock becauseobviously the stars aligned and just so and probably never wouldagain.

Shetilted her face up to him; he looked about as nervous as she felt. She pushed up on her toes and he bent down a bit; they both stoppedwhen their faces were inches apart.

“Thisfeels like a game of gay chicken,” she said, her voice hushed. “Except, we’re, ah, not… gay.  Or, well, it would only be gaychicken if you were a girl…”

“Areyou stalling?” he asked.

“I’mnot stalling, you’re stalling.”

“I’mnot the one who said this was like g—”

Shecut him off mid-word, since it was just getting ridiculous and therewas nothing to be afraid of because it was only a kiss and she’d donemore as a bored teenager and it didn’t mean anything, it was just fora laugh…

Exceptit wasn’t.  It really, really wasn’t.  It was a proper kiss, the kindthat made her toes curl and her skin tingle and stole her breath.  Ohdear.

*

“So,if you got bit, right, like say on the hand, or any extremity, wouldcutting it off right away actually work if it was a virus?”Wiggins asked, leaning around Sherlock to look at her.  He made achopping motion with his hand just above his wrist.  She wasn’t surewhy he was in the cab with them.

“Dependson the virus and exposure to the bloodstream,” she answered,because why not?  She’d just had the snog of her life against a brickwall in an alleyway and she was fairly certain that once they losttheir Cockney Daryl Dixon, she was going to have the shag of her lifein whichever flat was closer, hers or Sherlock’s.  Plus, it wouldprobably be good to stay in Wiggins’ good books, since he might endup being the godfather to their post-apocalyptic Holmes tribe…

[buzzdixonwriter]

The American Empire (1898 – 2017)

Power is ephemeral, abstract.  A will o’the wisp that can stand against the fiercest gale, yet vanish in the blink of an eye in broad daylight.

America’s brief run as a global superpower vanished irretrievably at 4:31 AM on June 4, 2017.  In the aftermath of a terrorists attack, Donald Trump posted yet another ill-advised Tweet, aimed at Sadiq Khan, the current mayor of London (not, as many erroneously reported, the lord mayor; that’s a different job).

The United States, which stood up to the Soviet Union, which helped win two world wars, which bounced back from military defeats in and setbacks in Vietnam and Korea, which muscled itself onto the international stage by shoving what was left of the Spanish Empire off, the United States of America, with an international policy defined by Teddy Roosevelt as “speak softly and carry a big stick,” that United States was forever toppled from its pedestal by a bombastic sac of human excrement.

There proved no need for a single honest child to speak truth to power in this fable; no, the emperor pursed his lips and loudly proclaimed, “I’m naaaaaaaaked!”

And thus ends an empire.

It really doesn’t matter any longer if Trump is taking orders from Putin or not:  The end result is the same.

Our old alliances are in tatters.  Even at the worst, most cantankerous moments of The Reagan and Bushes administrations, our allies and the rest of the world had a sense of “this, too, shall pass.”  Whatever mistakes, missteps, and diplomatic faux pas those presidents committed, the sense was always that it was a temporary glitch, that the underlying goals and policies of the United States had not wavered or diminished, that shortly the strong and reliant ally would return.

Not anymore.

With Donald Trump we are seeing the abrupt and irreversible end of America’s influence.  Our allies, like friends of a drunk who will help him into a cab and see him safely home, have finally realized they’re dealing with a hopeless lush:  They will not be answering any more phone calls to come and party, much less to bail that friend out.

Alcoholics Anonymous holds its drunks strictly accountable for the chaos and harm they strew in their wake, and America is rushing towards its own moment of clarity, when it will realize it is naked, in a gutter, covered in piss and shit and vomit, and nobody cares, everybody is laughing.

What Trump has done that marks him so different from previous presidents has been to reduce the office holder from an intellect -- no matter how substandard -- to a bundle of uncontrollable and ill-conceived impulses, appetites, and tics.

We have seen some pretty terrible human beings in the White House, but by far the worst of the lot by several degrees of magnitude is Donald Trump.

He is a man without honor, without compassion, without wisdom, without integrity, without loyalty.  Andrew Jackson would have pummeled him with his cane five minutes after meeting him, George Washington would have possessed the patience and courtesy to last an hour before dong the same.  Even Abraham Lincoln would have contemplated a body slam, Truman and Eisenhower would have decked him.

And yet this is the person that the Republican party aided, encouraged, and endorsed.  They let him play to white bigotry because their power depended on white bigots as part of their base.  The hypocrisy of the GOP is part and parcel of what Makes Trump’s destruction of American power possible.  The rest of the world looks at them, recognizes they have no core integrity, no vision of the future other than one in which wealthy white people rule and everyone else suffers, and they know this is a political party they can never take seriously again.

A this point, several of my Republican friends are sputtering:  “But that’s not me!  I’m no bigot!  I don’t hate anybody!  Some of my best friends are non-white -- I’ve even dated non-whites!”

True dat…but you were more interested in your party gaining power than in doing what was right, and when histories of this era are written, you will be lumped together with the bigots you depended on.

Lie down with pigs, get up smelling like pig shit.

And for my fundamentalist / evangelical friends who wiped their ass with the Bible and endorsed Donald Trump as “God’s choice,” you’ve betrayed Christ to kiss the rancid rectum of the prince of this world, what fate do you think awaits you and your churches?  In a generation or less somebody will figure out how to market Islam to white Americans and when they do the hemorrhaging of American Christianity going on now will become an implosion and it’s going to be your damned fault.  Live with that for the rest of your lives.

Donald Trump is the most woefully ill-prepared man to take office in the last hundred years, and in a rogues gallery that includes Warren G. Harding, Harry S Truman, Ronald Reagan, and George W.  Bush that’s sayin’ sumthin’.

In fact, I’ll take back the ill-prepared part:  Even Harding had some dim idea of how politics worked and while the others lacked refinement and in-depth knowledge, Truman proved to be a quick learner, Reagan knew how to triangulate, and GWBush, for all his sins and shortcomings, never struck anyone as malicious.

But Donald Trump is the quintessential ugly American:  Clueless, classless, provincial, bigoted, money grubbing, snobbish, vulgar, spiteful, boastful, cocksure, pig ignorant, and a religious hypocrite.

Even claims that Americans possess good qualities hinge on how effectively these flaws in the national character are hammered flat.

Trump is every American flaw rolled into one big fragile, empty, greasy orange Cheeto.  He is a constant reminder to the rest of the world why they shouldn’t pay any attention to us. 

I do not exaggerate when I say Trump’s Tweet re Sadiq Khan and the latest terrorism incident marks the moment American’s waning international influence vanished like a bad dream upon waking up.  The rest of the world looked at Johnson and Nixon and Reagan and the Bushes and could say, “Okay, so it’s not as if their flaws were well known before they took office; sure, they were scoundrels and fools but at least they tried to hide those flaws.”

The American people could convincingly claim they did not understand the full malignancy of those presidents when they voted for them, but Trump’s characteristics were not merely well known, he touted them as selling points in his campaign.

So Europe and the rest of the world looks at Trump and judges America accordingly:  These people are fools and liars and imbeciles and superstitious ignoramuses who revel in their ignorance.

Why should we ever pay attention to them again?

And they won’t.

And we’re screwed.

Because very, very soon our warships are not going to be welcomed in as many foreign ports as they once were, our military aircraft will be denied fly over privileges, our troops and bases no longer tolerated in foreign lands.

Sad but true fact about the American military:  We have never defeated a numerically superior enemy.  All our victories have been us ganging up on a smaller, more poorly equipped foe.

Even then we typically need allies to do the bulk of the heavy fighting for us:  France supplied 90% of the Revolutionary Army’s gunpowder and kept the British fleet at bay so blockade runners could keep commerce going, and by the end of the Revolutionary War had committed 300,000 military personnel to help the colonial army (80,000 troops, tops) fight 40,000 English troops.

Those 40,000 English troops, by the way, represented nearly half of the entire British army (96,000 troops total during this period), the rest busy defending various non-rebellious colonies around the world from French, Spanish, and Dutch attack.

George Washington's army started the war fighting Hessians, German mercenaries the English hired to keep an eye on the colonies.  He then moved up to third rate and finally second rate troops by the time he won the war with 80,000 colonials and 300,000 French.  He never faced the crème de la crème of the British army, for if he had he would be a dangling footnote in the history of Canada.

US involvement in World War One came late, long after the tide of battle turned and German defeat was inevitable.  As a nation, we cashed in on that war, American goods filling markets the French, British, and other European nations could no longer supply, getting more money than they normally would have earned, and dominating those markets.

Despite the Depression, we still pumped US goods into foreign markets, enabled the rise of fascism, sat out the worst days of the World War Two in Europe, and only after the Russians and the English turned the tide on the Eastern and Western fronts did we start helping them – and claiming the lion’s share of the credit.

Unlike Americans, who are comfortable with hagiography and tend to ignore unpleasant facts, the Europeans don’t merely read their history, they study it.

They know us for what we are, but for a long time they also knew us for what we aspired to be:  Something better, more hopeful than the old world that spawned us.

Well, thanks to Trump, his voters, and the GOP that fond image is forever shattered.

You can practically hear the call blocking sliding into place.  Putin severely compromised two of Europe’s mightiest allies and while one might recover because they have thousands of years of tradition that point to Brexit as a fixable mistake, Donald Trump only confirms the worst everybody thought about us.

We have thrown away our birthright, abdicated our moral / ethical / political leadership, and embraced a man so unworthy of the office that his becoming president was the subject of a silly TV cartoon years before it actually happened.

America, we are not Davy Crockett or Daniel Boone, we are not Paladin or Father Knows Best or Star Trek.

We are the God damned Simpsons.