#this is twice as long as i usually do for a post aaaaa scary

[madebysimblr]

A few days later

A metallic thunk and someone yelling FUCK down the corridor.

Otis: [???] Matty? You alright, dude?

Matty wordlessly hands him a piece of paper.

Otis: Oh, so it's your kid. Huh.

Matty: I don't know how she did it.

Otis: Uh. Yeah. You seemed pretty certain that it couldn't be yours, I figured you had gotten a vasectomy? Sometimes those fail, I guess?

Matty: Shit that's a good idea... No I hadn't.

Otis: …. Then how were you so sure?

Matty: Well, we barely ever have sex. If we do it's never vaginally- oh FUCK.

Otis: …. What?

Matty: Goddamnit. There was one time. Our stupid anniversary. I remembered it early enough in the day. Got her something from our connections at Liberty's. Got home early. I know she had been waiting for me to forget so she could spend another week bitching at me, but she was so surprised I remembered she was... I don't know. Nice? We had the house to ourselves, had dinner, watched a movie, and…. Damnit.

Otis: Right.

Matty: I thought I would finally be free of her, she ruin-

Otis: Dude, I can't listen to you complain about her anymore.

Matty: What!?

Otis: Look, I know. She did a really shitty thing in trapping you. We all agree on that. But man, it's been 3 years of this shit. From what you just described, it sounds like when you put in the effort things aren't so bad. Maybe she's miserable all the time because she can tell that you fucking hate her.

Matty: I....

Otis: Go to counseling. Sort your shit out, both on your own and with each other. Or for the peace of mind of everyone, just divorce her. Either way though, you do need to get some professional help.

Matty: Hey!

Otis: It's just the truth, dude. You're so wrapped up in wishing how your life could have gone, that you don't appreciate anything you have. You never looked twice at Summer until you couldn't have her anymore. You're in love with the idea of her, and the life you could have had. You have got to move on.

Matty: [sighs very heavily] You have a point.

Otis: I want you to be happy, dude. Don't drag everyone down with you, ok? I just stopped by to say congrats really. I'm gonna visit Sorella-

Matty: HA! And you say I need to move on.

Otis: [rolls eyes] I moved on from her a long time ago. You wouldn't know, because you never ask- but I date. Sorella is still my friend and she's got family in the hospital. So I'm going to go check in on my friend. Figure your shit out. And maybe go check on your wife.

-

Matty sighs again.

[ktheist]

from this post.

The meaning behind my url: the ‘kth’ in ktheist stands for kim taehyung and ‘theist’ means someone who believes in god which just means kim taehyung is my lorde and savior amen.

A picture of me: i don’t feel like sharing pics at the moment. might change my mind in the future who knows i did it before (;

How many tattoos i have and what they are: none!

Last time i cried and why: i can’t remember but i usually cry when i found out i offended a close friend because i hate to be that offensive/hurtful person and end up keeping a distance from them so i won’t hurt them anymore 

Piercings i have: none!

Favorite band: bts and blackpink

Biggest turn offs: when someone pushes/asks me to do something even though i said no the first time / i’ll do it later

Top 5 (insert subject): uh, like classes? ig English… and that’s it

Tattoos i want: none! i don’t like being in paineee

Biggest turn ons: when someone doesn’t rush me ehehe

Age: legal

Ideas of a perfect date: i can’t think of any at the moment, but in a way, i’m always on a date with myself and my perfect self date would be reading manhwa’s all day hehe

Life goal: to do no harm but take not shit

Piercings i want: none, i can’t stand paiNE

Relationship status: in love <3 with myself <3

Favorite movie: pride and prejudice 2005!

A fact about my life: i live in a rural area and got into a uni in one of the big cities. oh the irony.

Phobia: cars! driving! idk about you but driving is really taxing for me ):

Middle name: i’m good lol

Height: shorte

Are you a virgin? nah

What’s your shoe size? usually, i pick 37, i don’t know how long that’s supposed to be.

What’s your sexual orientation? confused but leaning towards diggity dong dong

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? i don’t but only because they’re expensive lol 

Someone you miss: min yoongi

What’s one thing you regret? my wasted potentials

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: min yoongi <3

Favorite ice cream? mint and ain’t nobody can change my mind

One insecurity: accidentally saying something hurtful to a loved one. 

What my last text message says: "nah i’m going in blind” to my friend when she asked if i’m preparing for tomorrow’s tutorial

Have you ever taken a picture naked? who has never?

Have you ever painted your room? yes!

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? not yet 

Have you ever slept naked? more like i can’t sleep with clothes on lol

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? who has never?

Have you ever had a crush? yes, none of them work out and i end up with people whom i don’t really like at first but settled w bc ig i should grace them with my presence since they like me

Have you ever been dumped? yeah, i was lowkey glad it was over

Have you ever stole money from a friend? i mean i keep reminding my friends of the money they “owe” me ehehhehe

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? guilty oof

Have you ever been in a fist fight? yes, shout out to my bro i might need some practice tho bc i’m a little rusty

Have you ever snuck out of your house? no, i used to storm out once lol bc i got so stressed out lol

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? um, twice in my lifetime, i was so blinded by A’s face but a few months after i stopped talking to them, i realized my back hurt from carrying the conversation and B was cute but he was lowkey mean ): 

Have you ever been arrested? nope!

Have you ever made out with a stranger? yes lol 

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yeah, the movies

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? yes but i should’ve told them where i was going - i was that kid with poor communication skills

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? uh, ig? not really? idk.

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? YES like hangout with friends

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? if it’s just your normal kind of sleeping then yes, not a fan of sharing beds tho lol

Have you ever seen someone die? no

Have you ever been on a plane? yess

Have you ever kissed a picture? i’m pretty sure i have

Have you ever slept in until 3? LOL AM OR PM

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now? i have loved someone (maybe? idk i liked them bc they like me lol) and i don’t miss anyone rn

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YES

Have you ever made a snow angel? no it doesn’t snow here ):

Have you ever played dress up? yes!!

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? ehehe who’s never?

Have you ever been lonely? a lot

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? yes lol

Have you ever been to a club? no but i wanna try going but w the pandemic going on ig i’m probably never gonna lol

Have you ever felt an earthquake? no

Have you ever touched a snake? no

Have you ever ran a red light? guilty 

Have you ever been suspended from school? no hehe

Have you ever had detention? we didn’t have the detention system where i lived so no!

Have you ever been in a car accident? yes ):

Have you ever hated the way you look? yes ):

Have you ever witnessed a crime? yessss the crime of… being so gosh darn cuTE 

Have you ever pole danced? no

Have you ever been lost? ngl lie i’ve been clueless about where i’m heading since day one

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? i was about to say yes but then i don’t even know what state is the opposite side of the country so

Have you ever felt like dying? yes

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? yes

Have you ever sang karaoke? no

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes this bitch a hypocrite 

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? just ONCE

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? no but be fun if that happened (older i mean)

Have you ever kissed in the rain? no

Have you ever sang in the shower? yesss

Have you ever made out in a park? uh yes it was like past 11pm and nobody was around

Have you ever dream that you married someone? yea the dude was cute but i remember feeling like i wanna escape the whole “married for life” situation lol

Have you ever glued your hand to something? no

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? also no

Have you ever gone to school partially naked? sis i wear a hijab

Have you ever been a cheerleader? sis i wear a hijab 2.0

Have you ever sat on a roof top? yes!

Have you ever brushed your teeth? omg how did you know?

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes i can never finish a scary movie on my own ):

Have you ever played chicken? no

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no but i’ve jumped into a pull with my clothes on

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? yea it was nice at that time but now, i’m like what makes a stranger think i’m interested in what they think about me lol

Have you ever broken a bone? no

Have you ever been easily amused? yes lol

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yess aaaaa the good old days

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? isn’t that sexual harassment?

Have you ever cheated on a test? LOL what’s the point of not cheating if you have every means to cheat?

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? all the time honestly my brain is a shite dump of all the useless infos but never the important ones like names or if i already talked about something with a certain person and then i’ll end up asking them again about that topic (excitedly at that) 

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? i haven’t met min yoongi but yeah, there are some pretty and elegant girlies that make me go :o

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. is it supposed to be deep because ig no one knows but i’m currently hungry

[rosykims]

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz​ thanks so much !!! *heart emoji* 

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well.  inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count 

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it 

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red. 

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3 

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk. 

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed 

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality 

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho. 

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt. 

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes. 

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her. 

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts. 

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened. 

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans​ @f3nharel​ @allisondraste​ @ensevens​ @tethraas​ @talizorah​ @fereldun​ if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this !