#this is what happens when im left alone to think good lordt

[mewtwo24]

Lucifer Meta

I‌ feel like I‌ keep seeing so much talk about this, and maybe its been said before, but given I‌ have too much time on my hands and I‌ can’t stop thinking about it, I felt the need to put it into words.

A lot of people have mentioned that, if you take a look at Lucifer’s dialogue in several scenes within both the MS‌ and several ES’s, he keeps harping on this insistent desire to be considered special by the MC. He doesn’t want to be another demon a dozen (I’m sorry I‌ know I’m cringing too), he doesn’t want to be just another hottie that got away or the story of ‘that crazy hot guy I‌ fucked and never saw again.’

Today I‌ want to get into the reason for that. (Also a note, I‌ will be using feminine pronouns for the MC but I‌ fully understand that the creators allude to non-binary identification, and don’t want to discourage anyone from that—I‌’m just working from how I‌ personally play.)

Now, I‌ think it can be pretty easy to just write it off as a product of pride. After all, pride does come hand in hand with the idea that you assume you are unique beyond measure, somebody that is without peer in the best meaning of that notion. And while I‌ do think Lucifer does have a great deal of confidence in some regards, I‌ don’t personally believe that’s the whole truth. I‌ feel like it’s more complicated than that. Honestly, it’s one of the reasons I‌ enjoy Obey Me so much; we all know the basic premise. Seven deadly sins yada yada yada, absolute dumpsterfire demon family of brothers yada yada yada. But I‌ feel like beyond that surface level there are some pretty alarming–if not downright profound–moments of humanity (for lack of a better term) that emerge in each of them.

With Lucifer, I‌ feel like this constant desperation for recognition is actually an acute reflection of both his reputation, and his lifelong history. And to explain why I‌ think this is true, I‌ need to reference a major spoiler from the MS. I’m going to assume everyone’s read the MS‌ to that point, but if not I’ve added a cut and added proper tags just in case. Please don’t read below if you haven’t gotten to Chapter (14-10)!

Okay y’all, you remember the scene where it’s revealed that Lucifer gave up his entire future as a demon to give Lilith a chance to be reborn and properly be with a person she loved as a human someday? I‌ want to start here, because I‌ feel like this is crucial to our understanding of Lucifer’s attraction to MC. One of the harder things about getting close to Lucifer is how tightly sealed he is. Call this demon Fort Knox, he’s never going to betray his true intentions or his true feelings unless he has a gun to his head. And the reasons for that are obvious (vulnerability?????‌ in m y me???? it’s less like than you think one more step and I‌ kill you–)‌ You can’t be the perfect caretaker or the perfect right hand to the most powerful being in your realm by betraying constant fluctuation in feeling. (Too bad he’s the most brittle motherfucker I’ve ever seen. But, I‌ digress.) Besides which, I imagine one of the many ways he kept himself from cracking and spilling his secret was to bury it in the sure silence of secrecy. He could significantly lower the threat of revealing the truth if he never, ever talked about it at length. He manifests capability and strength in the most classical/conservative forms of those words (and coincidentally, the ones most acceptable to the old school ‘canonic’ representations of christianity):‌ with stoicism, by refusing to show a single chink in the armor or an iota of oscillating warmth. True devotion to God means no signs of wavering; you are either with Him or against Him. You either follow the rules, or you don’t. (While I‌ understand this is not the case in many branches of the church, trust me when ‌I say the Orthodox community has not changed LMFAO)

The reason I‌ feel the need to create this basis is that it makes his looking to MC‌ for understanding makes so much more sense within that context. Think about it. MC‌ was, first and foremost, the only one to see the memory of him begging Diavolo to save Lilith. MC‌ saw him at the absolute lowest moment of his entire life. Having lost everything in the rebellion, with nothing and nowhere to call home, the very person he was devoted to protecting a casualty. The archangel of heaven, the most glorious and famous immortal in veritable history up to that point–without peer, without equal–lost. Imagine. A‌ being that never even entertained and could not fathom anything less than perfection and capability, was now faced with irrefutable evidence that he not only lost, but failed in the most devastating meaning of that word. Not only could he not prove his newfound conviction, he failed the very person that showed him what he needed to prove–the very person that deserved the fruits of his successful endeavor.

(And not only that, he gets zero time to grieve or process. He immediately has to bargain himself to essentially eternal servitude in order to give his sister just one chance at something she’s always dreamed of, and to protect the siblings most faithful to his cause–the ones to whom he feels most indebted. Let’s not forget growing accustomed to an entirely new way of life, learning how to exist as a demon and having to come to terms with so many changes–whether good or bad. Though knowing Lucifer, I‌ get the feeling change is an incredibly stressful thing for someone who was so accustomed to clear rules, order, and determinism. I’d wager it’s why he hinges so oddly on this notion that ‘demons are extreme creatures that cannot change, MC.’ While in some ways this does feel like scapegoating–and it is, the repressed fuck–I‌ think he does partially believe it to be true. He’s a demon now. Demon = a very powerful inclination to certain vices, and after having people like Diavolo confirm that information he truly believes it cannot be reduced. He just accepts that this is part of his new fate, no matter how frustrating. Me and MC’s modernist ass beg to differ, but given the lore suggests real differences between demons and humans I‌ can’t really speak confidently to which of us is most right. I‌ feel like the game does suggest at least a little potential to change or lessen those vices, but this is a bit of a digression from my main point.)

Second of all, think about her reaction. MC‌ hugs Lucifer immediately, so moved she embraces him even as he’s seconds from starting on a frustrated tirade. (This is how I interpreted that event, and that’s the choice I made--but even if you hit him, you’re showing a very real emotional reaction to Lucifer’s plight. I took both of those reactions to be a heated, heartbroken acknowledgement of what he’d been forced to sacrifice. Either a great deal of compassion, or angry grief that he would take on the weight of everything they’d lost alone--a reminder to think about himself first, too.) Her reaction to his sacrifice isn’t jaded mockery ‘LOL can’t believe you took the biggest L‌ imaginable for your baby sis who’s 6 feet under anyway.’ Her reaction isn’t a hardened heart, so angry with all of his lying and violent outbursts that she doesn’t give a damn (which honestly I‌ wouldn’t even blame her for being indifferent given some of the shit he’s pulled). Her reaction is a sincere appreciation that his heart could be so tender, that he could care so deeply for just one sweet angel that he would risk everything to defend her. (Even if he had other reasons, he expressly says that Lilith was the catalyst.)

I want to take a moment to link back to earlier. That’s what’s so key about Lucifer. He was supposed to be the perfect angel. Unsullied, untainted. Completely devoted to the rules of heaven, so well-versed and immovable in those ideals that even Diavolo had no shortage of admiration for him–was equally desperate to have him in his service after the fall. But Lucifer proves to be, by some perceptions, broken. He is not the perfect angel that everyone lauded without end, that was Daddy dearest’s pride and joy.

He cared. He cared about Lilith and his fellow angels and even humanity, no matter how foolish or ridiculous or foolhardy it seemed–to the point of waging war against everything and everyone he’s ever known. While I‌ can’t speak to what it was that changed him so greatly, I‌ have to wonder if it was, in fact, love. Lilith risked everything to protect the human man she had fallen in love with, wanted nothing more than to have a little family and protect that which was so dear to her. Was Lucifer moved by that…?‌ Did Lucifer find himself wanting something similar?‌ Or at the very least, wanted angels and humans to have the right to choose?

In truth, I‌ really can’t be sure. But I‌ still think it’s crucial that Lilith’s choice was the motivating factor of his change; he saw that someone could earn a love so deep it would inspire a sacrifice beyond reason. And that MC‌ saw him at his most vulnerable–at his most personal–reflecting the very behavior he’d learned from Lilith and saw the same exact thing that he did:‌ beauty. MC understood that moment as something to be cherished, something that proved a staggering capacity for compassion. And not only that, she felt a great deal of sympathy. Sure she’s probably never made a sacrifice that big before, but so much of being mortal is sacrifice. So much of being human is seeing that which is bigger than yourself, is seeing a loved one who needs you, and giving what you can. As such, it was a moment of resonance–it was a moment that proved his capacity for good in human and grounded terms, no matter how cranky or closed off or repressed.

(Also y’all because I‌ have to say it. THE ELLIPSIS. THE FACT THAT HE JUST REVELS IN THE HUG FOR A SOLID FEW MINUTES, JUST SOAKING UP THE AFFECTION. I DIE SOMEBODY PLEASE HUG THIS OVERWORKED, TOUCH-STARVED, MISERABLE FOOL I LOVE HIM.)

Granted, Lucifer did show signs of intrigue towards the MC‌ from the getgo, but most of them were wooden. Curious on a very surface level, more like ‘this human really is deranged huh what a weirdo’ than necessarily BANGS POTS AND PANS ‘I L O V E THIS H U M A N’. And that, for me, is key. I‌ have to wonder if he doesn’t feel comfortable showing skin or getting too close to people in any kind of way because they don’t really know him.

This is what I’m getting at.

The hard thing about pride is that most pride worth any salt comes from a firm center of confident knowledge about one’s own ability. And if there is anything this game tries to get us to understand, it’s that Lucifer is in many regards a workaholic wiz. He never stops going, never stops trying to be the best older brother and second hand to Diavolo the realm has ever seen. (For those of you that argue he’s a shit older brother, I‌ 100% agree he’s a dingus about expressing it properly but I‌ don’t think he’s a bad brother. His home screen lines are 90% him expressing his worries about being unable to connect to and help his brothers. That is not an apathetic guardian. That’s a tender idiot doing his best.) But his greatest strength is also his greatest weakness, the very thing that keeps him up at night literally and figuratively.

What if the people in his life only want him there because he’s so amazing and so capable–makes their lives so much easier–that it doesn’t really matter who’s getting the work done? What if he’s ultimately just a tool again? Just another thing to throw away when he’s no longer useful enough to be kept close? What if nobody loves him for just…him?

This is where it really starts to hurt. Thanks, God.

And that’s why he’s so enamored of the MC. It’s not just that she takes his feelings seriously, it’s not just that she’s equally stubborn and willful and cheeky. I think, more than anything, it’s because she saw who he was at his core–an angel that lost everything and sold what little he had left to make the most precious person in his life happy–and loved him all the more for it. She didn’t see it as a weakness to take advantage of, she didn’t see it as a weakness period.

She saw it as a place to build. She shows him that vulnerability doesn’t have to mean danger and endless anguish. She shows him that in this new world he’s inhabiting–where everyone is flawed, where everyone is limited–it’s only natural to have points that are less than logical or conventionally/perfectly defensible. She stands firm that–while he may have been a bit of a dickwad–that act was still noble, and that he would have to share this with his brothers if they were ever to mend the relationships that were smashed to smithereens in the aftermath of the war. Lilith could be a place of commonality from which they could all bond, and evidence of his compassion–rather than God’s judgement that it was a contemptible flaw.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what his repression of feeling is. It’s not just fear of being mocked by his brothers (though that’s definitely part of it). It’s the literal, staggering PTSD‌ of that moment where everything changed, where he made the ‘wrong’ decision in choosing love and freedom. Not only proof of his being less than perfect, it was the moment his creator abandoned him completely–the moment his creator sought his unilateral and uncompromising destruction over a disagreement. Lucifer is afraid of opening his heart because he’s afraid that, in the end? He’ll devote himself down to the marrow only to find out he was being used the whole time. He isn’t being loved because they see both his shortcomings and his impressive qualities and develop affection anyway, he’s being ‘loved’ because he’s useful to them–and so long as that continues, he’ll continue receiving empty praise meant to motivate him into complacence. This is why Diavolo’s moe pining and compliments mean jack shit to him. Because Lucifer can never be sure it’s not just another selfish power play, because Lucifer can’t trust that Diavolo’s affection comes from a place beyond motivating an unquestioning, relentless work ethic/loyalty. (I fully admit I‌ don’t think Diavolo necessarily means that much harm, but I also don’t think Lucifer is wrong to be wary given how evidently capricious Diavolo is…)

But yeah. MAJOR‌ Daddy and vulnerability issues.

Which is what makes his line “Who knew a human like you would stir this kind of feeling in me?” so fucking ironic to me. Really, Lucifer?‌ The calls are coming from i n s i d e. The defining moment of your life was the most altruistic, humanlike act a celestial creature could ever commit. Why are you so surprised, then, that a human could unlock the depths of your heart?‌ To the contrary, perhaps it is only a human-–that doesn’t have any desire for power or illusions of perfection—that could quiet the anxiety lodged deep inside his heart. She helps him come to terms with and nurture these feelings of love not just because she’s understanding and patient, but because her motivations are not mercenary or interested in prestige. MC’s just here to have a good time and wants to see them all get along together, and who could be more compatible for the demon that has little to no notion of freedom or how to mend the family he gave up everything for?

(Also an interesting side note, it may also explain why Lucifer can relax around the MC so thoroughly as time goes on. Because she herself tends to be more relaxed, he too begins to fully embody an existence where the stakes aren’t always in the stratosphere; he can be silly and tired and needy without fear of a cold reprisal or invasive curiosity. He can just be himself in peace, and that’s all he really wants more than anything.)

[simonbexley]

[ JACOB ELORDI, 21, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ] welcome to the du pont institute for the young & gifted, [ SIMON BEXLEY ]. you have been accepted as a [ REGULAR ] student from [ USA ], going into your [ SENIOR YEAR ] and majoring in [ PRE-LAW ]. your peers at the institute say that you are [ ALLURING & CLEVER ], but being [ DESTRUCTIVE & DEVIOUS ] may be the reason why the police are asking about you. did you think they wouldn’t find out that you were michael’s [ COMPETITIVE RIVAL ]? 

               yoo, i’d do it for rue !! but anyways hello hello, i’m nikki && pumped to be here <3. im shit with discord gcs but slightly better with dms/ims, so hmu on there or in the ims for plots anytime and i promise ?? to love you a lot ?? <3. i also apologize for him in advance cause he’s not even recyclable he’s just trash so ://

bio of sorts✌️

Simon was born into an affluent family — mother a judge while his father was the CEO of a reputable company. His parents weren’t exactly as happy as they seemed, for they were never in love to begin with. Raised in two families of immense power, their marriage was more on of a power, big dick energy, move to show the rest of the world. From what little Simon’s mother speaks of his father, Simon can assume it only hit him how real this whole fake life was once he was born, which is when good ol’ daddy ran off to do god knows what while raised by his mother in Washington DC. He has no memories of his father ; Simon only knows that every few weeks they get a check in the mail for hella money, so between both his parents they lived an extremely lavish lifestyle ( possible wc for fraternal twins separated when his dad left or half siblings ?? idk fam let a gal know <3 ). However to this day Simon’s always had this idea that his dad has to be better, wherever he is.

His mother worked her way up from being a lawyer, to a judge, and now she’s a super well known && liked politician. Simon however is one of the few who doesn’t like his mom, mainly because he sees how she really is: controlling, a perfectionist, && fake™ as fuck, as he’d like to put oh so bluntly. He hates how she wants everything to seem like it’s all perfect. But, that coming from his is just a joke™ because he’s extremely similar to his mother, dare you say he’s a hypocrite ?? ( big yes in the chat ). In his younger years he did as he was told ; going to all the functions, behaving accordingly. But as his annoyance, anger, and his own damaging thoughts only felt more terrorizing he started to do things his way. AKA causing a scene && getting a bad name with the press, mostly to just fuck with his mother and if there is a father figure out there watching, perhaps it’d get his attention to.

During high school, as another way to spite his mother he started to let his grades slip, despite him being more than capable of excelling his his classes. Tired of his antics, and figuring it was actually best for her career if he wasn’t around despite trying to create a happy family image, by the power of money she basically forced him to attend a college that was just far enough to be out of wey, but not far enough where she couldn’t check in monitor him. Simon of course was more than happy to do so, and what better place to go then one of the top schools ?? So she kinda donated heavily to get him here. In turn, Simon much prefers it here, since can relax (simon relaxing ?? lol what a joke) ; his grades have also improved since he’s studying things he actually cares about, and that extremely ambitious drive of his that was once overshadowed by the need to piss off his mother, has finally returned.

PERSONALITY (aka fuck im getting too lazy for paragraphs lordt)

definitely likes to take on the facade of not giving a fuck, but boy does he have ?? so many fucks to give. also takes on a facade of being super chill, charming, a sometimes likable dude really but like ... nahh

if anything he uses that to lure people in enough not to feel so fucking lonely, but also to get information from them and let them feel like they can trust him ?? because when they fuck him over, as he believes most people will, he can use that info to make sure he hurts them worse ... bless ://

so, as someone who isn’t a fan of himself or most, he tends to be rather destructive  /  self-destructive. anything good happens ?? he tends to fuck it up … sometimes on purpose, other times on accident.

though mainly he’s big up on planning, he’s all about the little details and the big picture ; so tends to have a plan for mostly everything and then gets mad when people don’t to as he expects / act how he wants them to ... :)

if he doesn’t like you he’ll definitely go out of his way to make your life hell wow we hate. and even if he likes you, he’ll probably still make your life hell because ?? it’s just funny right, like super hilarious.

fear of being alone ?? correct. still pushes everyone away ?? also correct. 

loves sports,the idea of perfectionism goes to his health too, so its one of the few things he can rely on and know he’s good at. at 6′5″ he’s one of the captains (centre position) of the basketball team and is damn good at it. 

also rich af and isn’t afraid to flaunt it hate him pls && thanks.

and for someone who despises his mother so much he’s literally her replica, even with his degree in pre-law so like ... good job bro, good job

wanted connections

a bro skwad (probably v v surface level but ya gotta have some bros), best friend (someone to actually trust ?? bLESS up), enemies/frenemies (please, give me all of them xoxo), high school exes (lbh none would end well??), fwb/hook-ups/revenge hook-ups (when shit gets rocky with the gal, which it usually is bless them; also big up on anyone who’s ever hooked up with Michael okay? okay), roommate, workout buddy, basketball teammates, debate team peeps, unlikely friends, always getting into shit friends, etc etc <3.

me: im not gonna ramble also me: wrote all this ... i played myself

[jungyutas]

boyfriend!Jaehyun | bulleted scenario

note: here’s a little thing i made a while back bc i havent posted in 2 months woops sorry im busy ;-; i will try to have a halloween au tho so be ready. it’s already in my drafts. BUT ANYWAY i also made this bc i couldnt get jaehyun as a boyfriend out of my head like when i daydream it instantly goes to being in a relationship with jaehyun ;-; also im seeing nct in a week GET HYPED alright im done. enjoy this bulleted scenario!

warnings: slight NSFW content, swearing, very soft things ;-;

Let’s talk about boyfriend!Jaehyun bc I can never seem to get it out of my head lordt save me pls

He would be such a good boyfriend hands down

He’d be the kind of boyfriend that would be all over you and always praising you, but not in a pda way

He’d be really hesitant about pda at first bc jaehyun is a shy baby don’t be fooled he’s fucking nasty in private tho

Once he got used to pda, it still wouldn’t be much except for like lil things like hand holding, head kisses, and maybe an arm around ur waist bc he loves having u by his side

Encouraging head kisses!!!!

Before a show? Head kisses!!! Winning at a board game against the other members? Head kisses!!!! Finishing a project you’ve been procrastinating doing? H E A D K I S S E S maybe not even just head kisses if u get what im saying

Holding hands is a l w a y s

He’d run his thumb over your knuckles all the time like he’d always be caressing your hand

Oh my god his cuddles would be so nice like he’d always want u in his arms especially if you were smaller than him like he’d just like the feeling of you being in his arms??? Like you fit perfectly????

Also would be a very warm boy so

Singing softly while you cuddle bc u love his voice and it so soothing

He’s warm so u always go to him whenever youre cold and he obviously doesn’t mind

Also encouraging warm cuddles where he sings to you if you were feeling down self-promo: i have a whole one shot abt that. go check out “Home”

Dates with jaehyun would range from eating at really fancy restaurants to just staying at home and cuddling while watching a movie

He wouldn’t be picky with dates

He’s a busy guy so I feel like his favorite kind of date would be anything where the both of you could relax

He loves you and he loves being with you after he’s away a lot

Now we’re on this topic, a date at home with jaehyun where you guys marathon the high school musical movies and sing the duets bc singing a hsm duet with jaehyun is the dream

SKIP THIS PART IF UR NOT INTO NSFW STUFF ISH YES

Alright so jaehyun in bed is wildt as fuck

He’d be willing to try anything once but I feel like mainly he’d be into like voyeurism and being in situations where you could be caught i told u he was wildt

Let’s say if u were a trainee or from the same company, you’d be fucking in like the studio, dance studio, stereotypical janitor’s closet, literally everywhere

That boy has stamina so u gotta be prepared

I feel like he’s a switch, but dominant mostly

Even though he’s dominant, he’d always put your pleasure first before his bc that’s just the kind of person he is

Also making out with him would be so nice

I feel like whenever you two are left alone, it would turn into a whole make out session bc he always needs some type of release

You sitting in his lap while you make out is the ideal position

Making out all the time in general bc ur hormones are all over the place

ALRIGHT BACK ON SOFT THINGS

He’d always want to spoil you

He’s always giving you little gifts and stuff

Whenever he sees something that reminds him of you, he gets it no matter what it is

In fights, I feel like he’s one to confront you at first, but if he doesn’t get the answer he expects, he would give you the silent treatment

Or like he’d give you space for a while if you were the one who got angry at him

But these fights rarely happen. It would only happen if it was something really big

I feel like he wouldn’t be the jealous type although deep down he could be a bit jealous but he keeps it under wraps bc he has no reason to be

Other than that I don’t think there’d be much conflict in your relationship

Jaehyun is a really really really loving boyfriend

You’d never feel like anything was lacking, especially in love because jaehyun makes sure he loves u and u know it

You always make sure he knows you love him too