#this isnt even about some of my most unrealistic material wants either

[sheila--e]

being poor sucks sometimes I wanna have expendable income but rent is due.

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[gaygajeel]

Yes! The ways Fairy tail does anatomy wrong! Thank you :3 ( Sorry about that, I'm really nervous D: )

its ok!! im glad to be able to help out with this kind of stuff

this got pretty lengthy so its gonna be under cut! heres some links that may also help, i dont think i forgot anything super important?

i have a general art ref tag on my main , general arm references

how to draw breasts video (nsfwish of course) , foreshortening

figure drawing tips

hands for drawing (3d models of hands you can play around with (warning it greets u with a torso model that has a ding dong out))

how to connect legs to the torso (highly stylized,but good things to keep in mind)

while some things can vary from style to style, i bolded the basic rules of anatomy if you dont wanna stick to just realism. mashimas style is actually closer to realism than a cartoon, most exaggerated things arent style but anatomy problems. things of his that are stylized for example are the eyes. he actually has really got down how to make eyes bigger than usual and not have it look wrong/bad.

first and foremost, the most noticeable thing in many ft drawings is the boobs.

boobs are not perfect circles for one. an important thing to remember when drawing boobs is that gravity affects them. when standing upwards, boobs will be pulled downwards and a fold against the skin is noticeable. this of course changed depending on the pose of the character, such as if they are lying down they will lean more towards the sides.

the best thing to coach yourself on making sure the boobs arent too big is to make sure they are not bigger than the head. 

while boobs do jiggle during many forms of exercise, having a female character not have good support for their breasts is very... unrealistic, as most ppl with boobs tend to get aches from this sort of thing. different support can do different things though. sports bras typically keep The JiggleTM to a low, while there are special bras for pushing up your breasts to make them look bigger & cleavage more noticeable.

other factors to take into account: boobs are attached to skin that go up to the arm pit, so if the arm is more upwards this can affect where the boob is as skin is tightening. boobs are soft, but not jelly.

boobs arent smack dab on the chest unless the before mentioned push up bras are in play. they hang about, but also dont go on the abdomen, they basically dont go over the rib cage.

also, nipples come in all different kinds of sizes & placements but are typically 2 head lengths down and the angle is outwards.

the torso

hips & waist are big issues in ft. hips typically shouldnt be bigger than shoulders unless part of character design/body type

waists shouldnt be too much smaller than ribcage. a good thing to remember is that your character is supposed to have organs in there. unless they are meant to be malnourished or have a very skinny body type, avoid it. looking up diagrams of muscles & organs around there helps me define how big this portion should be.

there are all kinds of body shapes, especially with feminine characters. typical ones are hour glass (small waist), diamond (large waist & hips, sometimes actually bigger than shoulders), rectangle (hips, shoulders, and waist are basically the same shape), triangle (small hips & waist, big shoulders, the common body type for guys), inverted triangle/pear (small shoulders & waist, big hips)... the list goes on and on, really.

even when you have abs, when you bend over your skin folds/rolls up. its natural! 

male & female musculature isnt really much different from one another. what differs is the bones & fat placements.

since you have stuff in ur tummy, i wouldnt say it bulges out but its certainly not just a straight line. its more noticeable if theres tight clothes involved, the area is showing, or its a side view.

legs/thighs

thighs gaps are not as common as you think. thighs support much of our body and are meant to be big as theres lots of muscle & fat.

you cant really have big thighs & big thigh gaps like mashima makes it. sometimes it kinda looks like he gives them hip dyspepsia honestly. basically, you either have skinny thighs & a gap, or thick thighs & no gap. while some ppl may be uncomfy with this part, its also important that you know how to define the crotch, gap or not. this is much easier with vaginas than penises though and vaginas you can get away with just a V between the thighs.

the thickness of the thighs affect how big the ass will be (thicker thighs = bigger butt).

half of body is legs while the other half is torso & head.

knee placement varies & depends on body type, but is normally about in the middle of the leggo.

other notes

an easy way to make sure the size of your hands are right is to compare it to the characters face. when putting the beginning of the palm on the beginning of the face/chin, fingers end a bit above eyes or eyebrows. this is something that can vary as well, such as if you want a character to look creepy you typically give them longer fingers.

necks are meant to support the head. while drawing them smaller than usual is a common part of lots of peoples drawings, you want to at least make sure your character has a neck that wont easily snap. necks are about the size of your head, as if you feel up it it stops at your ear. there are only certain types of bodies this can go well with, pearl from SU being a good example because she overall has a very small body type.

theres a difference between flexible & wrong anatomy. someone may have a back that can easily bend certain ways, but there are limits. bones & muscles will limit you.

fairy tail has odd ear placements in which they tend to go above the eye even in face-forward views- avoid that. putting ears around the same place as the nose tends to do the trick, with ears ending around eye level.

if you want to intentionally give a character supper skinny arms like mashima does, this has to go with the body type, and it also affects how visible the collarbone is.

ft has a really weird habit of making reeaallly angled collarbones. collarbones start a bit below the neck (neck muscles coming down to them), and go to the shoulder. collarbone visibility depends on body type as mentioned before, and the pose of the character. you wont see the collarbone of a character with an arm reaching up. often times when the characters posed is relaxed, the collarbone will actually just look like a straight line.

not sure if this really counts as anatomy but mashima makes hair look like ribbons at times when they are 2 completely different textures & materials. hair goes all about, not just one solid direction.

the lower the eyes are, the younger the character looks. placement of eyes is actually really important when it comes to age.

when drawing a character with muscle, make sure you think of weight & depth! dont just give them lines where muscles should be, or you get.....Noodlebuster. muscles are heavy & defined.

arms typically stop at hips (when saying arms i am excluding hands). this can be a very hard thing to maintain when having your character do dynamic poses, so the foreshortening video linked above should help with that.

unless its part of your style, legs that look like straight lines are gonna look funky (when looking at a skeleton you see the bones are more curved)

mashima tends to make the back of the head wayy too big, and this really makes his neck problem evident. 

i really wish i could make diagrams & drawings of my own to help get the point across better but its late, so if you want me too i can put that on my to-do list!

[topbeautifulwomens]

#Women, #Painting #and #Power #brunettebabes #challenge #drawing #dressyourface #fashionistas #lifestyle #makeupartist #sky #views #women

I am standing in my studio, observeing ten women portray in silence with beautiful consideration and focus, and the calories is just buzzing. All of a unexpected I hear a groan from one of the women and the phrases “Oh no, I hate it. It truly is so unsightly”. I smile, truly sensation a feeling of wonderful reduction and dread.

Aid given that an additional woman has just blindly stumbled into her gateway to imaginative flexibility. Worry because I know the resistance and arguments I am likely to be coming up once morest as I try to converse her out of get rid ofing what she deems ugly and to even to commence to take the radical phase of accepting what she has produced with desire and comenthusiasm. I incorporate to be quick here because women are practically nothing if not stealthy and cunning and will squander tiny time in eradicating the proof of what they consider unengaging art.

Here is a class in what is known as intuitive painting or procedure painting. The purpose of this kind of painting is to understand to checkpay attention deeply to your self and to then bravely express what you uncover,with no censoring anything,in a spirit of spontaneity, surrendering to the creative process.It’s very various from typical art groups exactly where the principal focus is on developing system and finishing up with a satisfying product. This variety of class utilizes art and painting as a way to get a lot more in contact with the interior globe of soul and psyche. The focus is solely on checking out and expressing that internal process.

This road is difficult for most women, because even though a lot of of us have carried out some kind of self evaluation and discover the worth inherent in that research, we’re nonetheless combating an uphill struggle towards a very strong cultural bias that teversure us to place the greatest value on what is outdoors of us. We’re taught that ideas and an inner daily life are wonderful as far as they go, but what is truly worthwhilst is how we look, what we own, who we know, and where we find ourselves on the financial and reputation hierarchy.

The mysterious stirrings of our soul, the needs of our coronary hearts, the messages from our bodies,and the genius of our instinct, are STILL, even following all of the battles for liberation that we’ve fought, denigrated and deemed trivial and uncrucial, unrealistic and immature. But in the world of the process arts the realm of psyche and desires, creativeness and feelings are staunchly defended as sacrosanct and even given middle stage.

The women in my painting class know the policies of intuitive painting, one of which is that they’re not to destroy anything or cover up what they’ve done just because they never like it or have a negative response to it. They know what they are attempting here is an follow in radical self acceptance which implies embracing almost everything that comes out of them specifically if it tends to make them not comfortable because there is certainly “gprevious in them thar hills” of the psyche that they can mine to great advantage if they are just inclined to stay with the soreness. But the urge to disavow the abomination of a perceived ugly painting by making it vanish can be complicated.

There are 4 words in the English language that remember to never use in reference to a western twenty first century woman if you don’t want to get your tooth knocked out. These four little words are ugly, excess weight, bitch and egocentric.

Every of these four words covers an difficulty of great relevance for a woman, and what they all have in familiar is that they are keys to unlocking the door to our forbidden feminine drive. And one thing you can rely on is that each of these four difficulties will show up at some point if a woman severely provides herself over to making her own art. That’s one cause that women typically shy absent from the creative process.

These words have very negative connotations for a woman and have been used to denigrate and manage us for a very long time.The demand about them is so intensive that as before long as we hear them we toss up our arms, recoil into a place of disgrace, near our eyes and back away from them as if they have been Kryptonite and we were Tremendous Lady. Since we are hesitant to be curious and discover them, we never get to see that in truth these four words explain very positive characteristics and archetypal energies that we determinedly need if we’ll be complete, whole, actualized and resultive feminine creators of our own life.

A single of the hugegest internal obstructions to reclaiming our power is a potent archetype at function in most women’s psyches that can be referred to as the Interior Very good Girl. The Good Girl lives for acceptance and she garners that approval by being women small and risk-free and non-threatening. She is not intesnoozeed in increasing up and is content material to remain forever youthful. Eventually, she is the one that retains a woman from getting able to develop and prosper as an individual who is strong and potent,gutsy and able of having authority over her own life. And the Good Girl never desires to threat being fat, selfish, ugly or bitchy.

If a woman takes her creative life seriously, if she makes a motivation to herself and devotes herself to her creative work, she will eventually reach a crossroads where she has to confront the Inner Good Girl and the list of Good Girl rules if she wants to proceed making with passion and authenticity.

We all know what individuals rules are.Smile, smile, smile, be candy and great, never get nuts (or even discouraged),look fairly (which of course involves being thin), odor good, be new and neat and altechniques be pleasing and accommodating. Will not be loud and stay in the background. What you consider or feel is not really all that important. Don’t upset anybody. And never, ever make another man or woman uncomfortable. In the Good Girl world idealion is an attainable purpose and you need to work relentlessly, tirelessly, exhaustively, to be the absolute greatest mom, daughter, spouse and friend you can be, all the while berating yourself because you inexplicably and frequently drop short of the mark.

As soon as a woman starts her creative life she delivers these exact same attitudes and expectations to her art. She only allows herself to paint pretty paintings that are perfect in every way. Paintings that are nice and make men and women smile. She is unwilling to risk disturbing or intense shade or imagery; nothing that’s as well strong or stands out excessive. But painting in this way eventually departs her feeling bored and stifled. Fairly can be wonderful as part of a increased repertoire, but if it truly is all you happen to be permitted to do it eventually turns into either a noose and a cage.

At a sure point in her creative process a woman needs to be willing to ditch the Good Girl by spliting the Good Girl rules. But breaking those rules qualified prospects a woman into the territory of the sexperiencedow side of the Good Girl, the dreaded yet fascinating BAD GIRL!

The Very poor Girl is alive and well in most women’s psyches and is the part of us who is ill and fatigued of the long list of restrictions that hem in her wild and juicy self. She is feisty and daring, complete of audacity and unconcerned to go for what she wants. She is adventurous and courageous, and loves the buzz that comes with taking positive life-affirming pitfalls.

But our dating to her has a strong shame and shadow element so she often gets expressed in way’s that end up hurting us. She is the one who eats the whole container of the mint chocolate chip ice product in one sitting down, who isn’t going to return essential mobile phone calls to irritating loved ones members, who spends funds that she doesn’t have on cgood dealhes or footwear, and who has inappropriate interactions with men or women that usually are not good for her.What I am presenting here is a way to reclaim the Bad Girl energy, by means of painting, that is affirming and positive. To recognize that what we have been contacting undesirable are disowned elements of ourselves that need to be introduced back house.

THE SELFISH GIRL: Unafraid of putting herself very first, of being needy and happy of it, of nurturing herself, of preserving her own energy, of filling her own well, willing to have boundaries, making her own self care her first precedence, willing to be her own good mother, willing to take time just for herself, willing to confront and confused her guilt relating to managing herself.

This is the first Bad Girl to show up when a woman initiatives to have a practical creative life, and the first one I see when a woman wanders in the door of my studio to show up at a painting class. I hear over and over again from these women how much they have misplaced by themselves in taking care of every person else. How tired they are of putting everyone else’s needs first and that they have come to this class because they want to do one thing that has no visual reward to anyone else.

For a woman to be creative she needs to be willing to take time just for herself. She needs uninterrupted classes when she is able to enter her studio, sit down at her pc or her easel, and see what wants to come. She needs to let herself get dreamy, do nothing, stare out the window, and be apparently unproductive. All through these interludes in which she drops into a creative trance she is inviting the muse to enter her and inviting the often magic formula and mysterious motion of her soul to express alone.

In these moments, she starts to face herself through her art. She is able to get tranquil ample so that she can listen deeply and start to inquire some essential concerns this kind of as “What do I think? What do I like? What do I really want? What moves me, brings me satisfaction, makes me feel alive.?” It is a me, myself and I time, a time that needs to be dealt with as sacred and inviolable in purchase to allow those creative juices to flow unimpeded and to eventually turn into a raging, dashing river.

Nonetheless, it’s usually not long before the telephone rings or someone faucets (or somemoments lbs ) on the studio door with the cry of “I need you! And I need you RIGHT NOW!” It could be a friend, a little one, a mother a partner, a work duty, or a pipe that has just sprung a leak. Abruptly, somebody else’s needs become more important than her need to be creative, and the woman is confronted with the eternal woman question.” Do I once again close the door to my studio and turn my back on the needs of my own soul? Do I once again prove how reputable, dutiful, comintimate , caring, self sacrificing, accessible, loving, guilty I am, at the horrible price of my own creative self? Understanding that I’ve the small, and getting more compact consolation of being able to say “Nicely at minimum no person is going to be able to call me selfish!”

THE UGLY GIRL: Willing to buck the tide, to be her own distinct self, to not often conform , to step away from the need for approval, to be willing to risk censure, to step outside of the box of what is appropriate as a woman in this tradition, willing to be bizarre, different, unique, outrageous, bold.

The most common lament or prefer that I hear from my women painting student’s is “But I just want my painting to be lovely.”

For most women, cosmetic is a need, a deep irrational starvation, and an subconscious compulsion. Our id with the need to be beautiful is so great and so ingrained that we hardly, if ever, question it. Attractiveness is the key to the magic kingdom of well- being, contentment and achievement. It is the resource of our value, the make sure of love, our only valid access to power, and on a very deep stage has intended survival itself. Due to the fact so much is at stake, the tension a woman feels to be beautiful and to create something beautiful is substantial.

Our whole relationship to beauty displays up painfully and certainly in the painting process. Even though she is painting, there is always some beauty classic- whether or not she understands it or not- that a woman is striving to live up to. Possibly the ideal is of a painting that is neat and flawless where no errors or messiness, no drips or uneven lines are allowed. Or the idealized eyesight may be one of a painting that is well balanced and symmetrical, a paragon of magnificence, grace, and impeccable good style. In this model of perfection, all the hues should in shape, and can only be in the variety of muted pastels with the total effect being comforting and helpful, like a well put with each other design in a home and yard journal.

What ever the ideal, the energy put into attaining it is relentless. When I watch a woman paint I am always stunned by the passion she has for endlessly fussing over and repairing her paintings. Spontaneity is out of the question. She just takes it for granted that her painting must be well notion out, prepared, and arranged , and under as much of her control as is humanly possible. She is used to not trusting in her own innate beauty, and expects that the quest for beauty will require nonquit work. She never questions the ceaseless dieting and exercise, the several hours invested purchasing for just the appropriate outfit and the stressing over her pores and skin, her hair, her nails. She always has and always will are unsuccessful of the beauty mark and just assumes that beauty is something she will constantly struggle for and rarely, if ever, gain.

The really unfortunate thing is that she sees nothing improper with this fretful and nervous approach to her self and to her ar2rk.This ceaseless and ultimately hopeless striving for the extremely hard ideal is just the norm. It’s really the only thing she has ever known.

These slender constraints of beauty that a woman finds herself tangled in are always some variation on the Good Girl creed. These socially recognized specifications are primarily based on a definition of beauty that is associated to being nice and non threatening, to not standing out too much and conforming to an set norm that is pleasant but not effective. Beauty is related to compliance and convention, to subsequent the rules and to fitting in. The Good Girl beauty ideal means that it’s not OK to just be herself, warts and all. She needs to clean herself up and make herself acceptable.

When a woman is painting, the Unsightly Girl often sneaks in as a mistake or imperfection, a smear or a smudge, something messy or uncontrolled.When the woman attempts to clean up the mess, she finds with increasing horror that the clutter only carries on to grow. She is constantly having specialized calamities. The paint drips or operates, she are not able to control her brush, chaos reigns, and it seems like there is nothing she can do to make it stop.

She is desperate to regain to pretty. In jeopardizing spontaneity, she has located, to her horror, that she has created something that appears severe or loud or imperfect. Or,even even worse, something grotesque or malformed. She busyally tries painting more safe photography, more bouquets, rainbows, calm surroundings . But the flowers develop sharp edges and darkish colors and grow absolutely out of control , the rainbow colors become wildly fluorescent , and the landscapes becomes populated with darkly mysterious designs and statistics .

At this point she has stepped out of the confines of charming and attractive, and into an unidentified landscape of the wild, the untamed the unkempt and matted. This is often the start of a relationship to the inner Sensible Aged Feminine archetype, also known as the Witch. This is the face of the deep feminine that doesn’t care about appearances . After all, the Witch walks around with missing teeth and warts, and clearly doesn’t care what other individuals think. This is an awakening of the factor of a woman’s soul who is no lengthier a slave to approval and who has started to walk down the long road away from woman as product and commodity.

THE FAT GIRL: Willing to be big, be visible, to come out of hiding, to be a woman and not a little lady, to take in space, to be hungry, to say what she wants, to know what she wants, to be full of herself, to be too big for her britches, to be a full grownup, unafraid to say yes! A fat girl isn’t really afraid to take up space and to take her place in the world.

In my studio I offer high top quality paper that is of ample size, but pupils can tape the sheets together to make even larger paintings. It’s a heady time when a woman can let herself distribute out and take up some real space,when she can make a HUGE painting, one that can occasionally cover an entire wall.

Making a huge painting is a dizzying and terrifying prospect, and a woman often needs heaps of encouragement and authorization to take this step. Actually I usually need to nudge her a little. She will start with stating something about MAYBE desiring to go a little larger with her work. She feels something pushing on her, seeking to come through, and so she will ask if it’s OK to use two items of paper alternatively of one. I generously offer to get the paper for her but come back with four pieces of paper, instead of the requested for two. Irrespective how “nice” she is, at this point she is more than willing to make a fuss, to strenuously object about how it’s too much, she could never fill up that much paper, she doesn’t have enough to express, she could not possibly take up that much area in the studio.

But as I continue to calmly pin the four pieces to the easel, nodding supportively, yet disregarding her progressively frantic protestations, I see the gleam in her eye. She wants this possibility to take up space, to proclaim herself in residing color, to be unmistakably considered, but is qualified to not give voice to this desire. I watch her as she struggles with the forbidden excitement of the obstacle, the possibility, the sheer daring of it. The door to a secret longing is creaking open up on long unused and rusted hinges, opening to her hunger to be big, to be bold, to be outrageous, to be visible as completely and completely herself.

THE BITCHY GIRL: Willing to be intense and powerful; unafraid of her own anger, unafraid to discuss up, to take a stand, to have limits and boundaries, unafraid to say NO! Unafraid to battle abuse, refuses to be treated terribly, willing to break connections and walk away from poisonous relationships if it means protective your own wild and valuable self.

An additional major crossroads takes place in the painting process when a woman realizes how offended and enraged she feels and she lets herself express it on paper for everyone to see. However, the feeling of anger is so taboo and so threatening that it’ll usually sneak in the back door as just a little color. Some red or black appears on the internet page and then little by little or by “incident” grows larger than the woman had intended .

As this continues , the artist begins to feel a little uncomfortable. She will stand back from her now unruly painting with a wondered frown and turn to me , saying something like ” That seems awfully angry,” adopted briefly by, “You know, I’m not really angry. I don’t get angry. A little depressed possibly, but never angry.” This is a very precarious moment in the process. I have had women truthfully walk out of the room to get away from this intimation of anger, wear their coat and announce that they really must leave now. I am typically able to coax her back to the painting for the rest of the class, but once she leaves I’ll often never see her again. The real truth of her own angry feelings is just too frightening, the prohibitions too strong, and all I can do at this point is hope for her that sometime she will be able to feel safe enough to take that deep plunge into her own passionate and furious heart .

For the woman who is geared up to take that terrifying yet interesting dive, admitting that she is indeed angry can allow an incredible depth of feeling to come flooding out. All the yrs of saying yes, yes, yes when she needed to say no, no, NO to unreasonable needs, to abuse, to putting her own needs on a perpetual back burner, come out on the paper in a frenzy of paint , of color, and of image.

For one woman it comes out as a brilliant red background, with black words painted effortlessly and starkly to read “I AM SO PISSED OFF!'”. For another , it is a large image of a woman with wildly traveling red hair, bellowing open mouthed and brazen ” What the $#%@ about me!!!”

A sixty year old woman, who has been married to a Methodist preacher for forty several years, surprises herself by painting a warrior goddess in very hot trousers, with a Colt forty five in one hand and a cake spatula (to be used as a whacking weapon when necessary) in the other.

The paintings sometimes represent images that are recognizable out of fantasy, including a snake haired Medusa, and sometimes are expressed as a whirl of color and chaos, populated by weird, otherworldly creatures putting on very large, VERY sharp teeth. But what they all have in common is that they bounce off the page with the ferocity of emotion portrayed. There’s no mistaking the intent powering these paintings which is some version of ” I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any longer!”

I RECENTLY READ an article in a promoting journal that was caution advertisers away from utilizing the words power or powerful in ads directed in direction of women. The creator of this article wasn’t asking yourself the issue of women’s fret around power, just stating an obvious ( to him) fact that women will not likely buy products that are associated with the language of power.

We’ve a long historical past as women around being disempowered and victimized, and we have internalized this fear of power, of our own power, for way too long. We are living in times of great exchange and uncertainty and it is critical that we reclaim our birthright of power, authority and creative vision to take advantage of the opportunity that we have to recreate the world as a place where our most treasured values can endure.

There are many ways to face and to treatment this power wound, and impending it through our creativity is just one of them. But it’s a good place to start. As my women student’s and I have realized over many years, it’s fairly possible to experience courage, transformation and self love by wielding the firm end of a paintbrush. And breaking our long allegiance to the Good Girl and making it possible for the Bad Girl an commemorated place in our lives is not only therapeutic, but makes life a lot more fascinating and fun!

Copyright © Chris Zydel 2007

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[the-mayor-of-space]

You want a whole bunch? D O T H E M A L L . . . jkjk 1-37, 45, 56, 89, 99, 103, 104, 108, 122, 125, 135, 147 + 148, 155-169, 171, 176, 195 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), 200

34: State visited:oh boy here we go

its a little weird that the asks are in reverse order in the post huh. i thought so at least.

the first part is all favourites so here we go

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? : see like look at this. question one is about how i answered all the questions i havent answered yet. the answer will be yes though, because otherwise whats the point.

2: Dog breed: i looked up a list of dog breeds because i dont know anything about them really and shelties are my new favourite kind of dog. at least aesthetically. [look at this doggo shes so good]

3: Comedian: dan avidan, gabriel iglesias, louis ck, various internet funnymen, etc.

4: Talk show host: tbh i dont think ive ever w=been a fan if talk shows.

5: Color: p u r p l e

6: Flower: every flower that has a pokemon character named after it.

7: Perfume: anything subtle enough to not send me to asthma-ville

8: Yankee candle scent: man lots of these are just things i dont know really anythign about huh

9: Radio station: mojave music radio ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᵃᶰʸᵇᵒᵈʸ ᵉᵛᵉᶰ ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᶫ ʳᵃᵈᶦᵒ ˢᵗᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰˢ ᵃᶰʸᵐᵒʳᵉ﹖ ʰᵒʷ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵉᶰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᶰᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵃʸ ᵒᵖᵉᶰ﹖

10: Restaurant:  five guys, my dudes. that shits so good.

11: Food: all sorts of generic shit. pizza, pasta, poutine, suchi, you know the drill

12: Thing to cook: mmmm. im not honestly sure. i cook a lot of stuff but im not sure anythign in particular stands out as my favourite. i can tell you for certain it isnt griled fucking cheese. such a pain in the ass to cook and the customers always get upset that it takes so long and its like im fucking sorry that you have 3 goddamn children who all need grilled fucking cheeses instead of a food choice that isnt trash and it takes up the grill so i cant make food for any of our other 30 customers in line right now and we’re always out of fucking vegetables to give you on your plate to go with it jesus fucking christ

a job where i had to deal with customers all day was not well suited to a lowkey misanthrope like me.

13: Concert attended: tbh im not big on concerts. ive been to a few but its not my jam.

14: Beach: cannon beach in oregon is pretty great if i remember, but its been like 10 years since i went. also i didnt dislike beaches back then.

15: Day of the week: friday. because of course it fucking is. or monday/tuesday was pretty good when i was workign because that was my weekend

16: Book: the book thief was the last thing i read and particularly enjoyed so lets go with that

17: Magazine: i mean like i said with radios, magazines arent really a thing anymore are they? like i get that theyre technically still around but does anyone buy them? ive honestly never seen someone reading a magazine for anythign other than lack of proper reading material onhand.

18: Sport to play: eww gross.

19: Sport to watch: FOOBAW. ᶦ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ᵃ ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵃᵐᶰ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᶠᵒᵒᵗᵇᵃᶫᶫ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʳᵉᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵉᵐᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ᵗʰᶦᶰᵏ ᶦᵛᵉ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵍᵃᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢᵖᵒʳᵗˢ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ⋅

20: Holiday: h a l l o w e e n ,   b a b y. i fuckin love to get s p o o k y

21: Theme park: there was this one waterpark i went to a handful of times as a kid, but i heard it got shut down recently.

22: Animal: i like cats and crows. i swear im not an edgelord, i just dont think about animals that much. ᵖᵒᵏᵉᵐᵒᶰ ᵒᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʰᵃᶰᵈ⋅⋅⋅

23: Website: i was gonna say tumblr and then i realized i actually fucking hate this website

24: Movie: ive said it before and i’ll say it again. detective heart of america is the best goddamn movie of our modern era and i will fight anyone who disagrees dave

25: TV show: rick and morty yo

26: Grocery store: any of them? i heard the owner of one of the grocery stores in my town died recently so thats something. i also heard he was a dick though so whatever.

27: Clothing store: anywhere where i can buy stuff with space on it immediately becomes one of my favourites.

28: Band: lemon demon / neil cicerega, same guy. also ninja sex party.

29: Singer: ditto, dan avidan and neil cicerega

30: Actress: i kind of dont know any?

31: Actor: same deal. im not a particular of any of the ones i know in specific

32: Athlete: world famous pugilist: tommy ray handly

33: Cellphone provider: i mean im not partial to any of them. i use telus but also their internet isnt great sometimes.

34: State visited: oregon yo. that shits aesthetic af. for reference im canadian so ive only been to a few of the states.

35: President Prime Minister: new trudeau is new so he hasnt really done much yet but boy howdy is he a handsome chappie or what

36: Vehicle: i dont know a thing about cars.

37: Candy: starburst. toffee. caramel.im sure im forgetting lots.

on to the next bit, this part is miscellanious:

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: having my hair played with. i love it so much

56: Favorite web site: hey cool this is the same question as 23.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: probably @brannysweetnuts

well that was short. these next two are “the last time i”

99: Went to a movie theater: when i went to go see rogue one. it was good shit sassmaster robot is my favourite.

103: Hugged someone: like a week and a half ago. i think.

alright up next is “heres what i think about”

104: The future: probably its not gonna be much better than it is right now. i certainly dont have one.

108: Designer Clothes: tbh i kind of dont have any thoughts on them other than that they kind of seem like a waste of money?

122: War: im glad/lucky as fuck i dont have to deal with it. also a lot of them seem kind of pointless.

this part is “this or that”

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

135: Burried or cremated: i want you guys to take my skeleton and make it into a statue, put some cool sunglasses on me, and stand me up in a lobby/foyer somewhere. and failing that, cremate me and shoot the ashes into space. or better yet: put cool glasses on my skeleton and then shoot that into space.

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn, baby

148: Summer or winter: A U T U M N

these ones are “do you believe in”

155: Magic: nope

156: Orbs: of course i believe in orbs, i main zenyatta

157: War: i believe it exists. i dont believe its that useful most of the time.

158: Gay Marriage: oh come on, we all know the gays dont actually exist

r-right?

159: Ghosts: no :/ i wish they were real though that would be rad as shit. i love ghosts.

160: Soul mates: i hope

161: Horoscopes: no, but theyre still fun

162: God: nah

163: Hell: nope

164: Heaven: no

165: Aliens: yeah. but theyre probably super lame and single-celled. and even if they arent theyre way far away and itll be unrealistic to ever find them. the universe is a big fucking place my dudes.

166: Yourself: my biggest “ N O ” of all

167: Fate: i like to think the many worlds interpretation is true. but even if it is, we cant travel between timelines, so fate may as well exist.

168: Luck: rng exists, so yeah. thats what luck is.

169: Love at first sight: objectively not. thats physical attraction, thats not love. if you dont know the person at all youre not in love with them, theyre just cute.

ʰᵉʸ ᶦˢᶰᵗ ᶦᵗ ᶜᶫᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵒᶰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᵗ ʰᵃᵈ "⁶⁹" ᶦᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᶰᵘᵐᵇᵉʳ

this is the final stretch of questions. theyre miscellanious again. because talent.

171: Do you play an instrument? no. sometimes i pretend i can sing, but i cant do that either.

176: Last YouTube video watched: [this]

195: My shoe size is: i cant remember off the top of my head and i dont want to go downstairs to check.

200: My crush’s name is: uhh. this is pretty bad, but im actually not sure how to spell it.

admittedly, norwegian names are tough. we can all agree on this.