#this isnt even my idea im just good at editing things and love stupid jokes

[bitegore]

discord shenanigans

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[rqs902]

.

a lin ran feature :’) i respect hes self-aware about his need to be more than cute to succeed. lin ran has always given me a vibe that hes very serious and tough on himself. he looks soft but has high demands and seems very determined to get what he wants.

im not worried about li hao bc hes surrounded by a bunch of kids who can teach him how to dance LOL not just lin ran but like jin fan and tianci too

what is this pole and could they not move it LOL

lol so jin fan and tianci did a flippy trick and we just gonna pretend like it didnt happen lol okay 

ugh so jin fan kinda got to do more dancing than other stages but i was still hoping itd be more!!! but man lin ran is really killing with his stage presence here

leave it to ycw to speak loudly and vocally about his friends being injured so people recognize their suffering

LOL lin ran’s sassy “im not stupid!!” but yea the third stage was really rough for him, so im glad he was able to recover 

LOL lin ran again casually threatening the production team to be like “please edit this stage well” “please don’t cut our segment short” LOL 

lol yea im not surprised at this point that li hao won even tho it shouldve been lin ran. youku is def making these rankings up. lol gjm did you even look at lin ran’s facial expressions???? lol making up excuses for youku wat

lin mo praising lin ran and giving him encouragement like a true bro bc he knows how hard lin ran worked for this stage. i wonder if he designed the stage rigging

AY I RESPECT OSCAR. hes a good kid and someone whos willing to speak his mind to address problems, thats awesome. they need someone to do that. he’s direct with the problems but also directly follows by complimenting them and saying how great they could be if they pulled through LOL hes still a kid so hes trying not to offend them but i respect his courage, warmth and dependability. 

LOL XUE EN DESTROYED FRANKLIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA and he goes all cutesy after like he has no idea the power he holds LOL but im glad they showed some footage of xue en also teaching the other kids dance. cto skills whooo 

ycw still bringing up shiwei? hes either very caught up in his feelings still (which is probably not a good thing at this point) or hes just a really dedicated friend... or youku is just purposefully using shiwei’s elimination for dramatic effect. 

im surprised they didnt highlight cxh more bc youku seems to like him, and conversely they gave xzx a ton of time for his stage and let xzx win. 

XUE EN IS SO HANDSOME 

okay i just needed to get that out of my system

but also im kinda glad syh is in this group bc hes the only one who i will not laugh at when singing this song. ycw and oscar talking about drinks and whiskey??? yall are babies?? also this song does NOT match this dance well at all. i see why they didnt like it when they previewed it LOL also i see now why i saw an edit on twitter of this dance over “retreat” from qcyn bc that song actually FIT the tie pulling move.. versus this im just like ??? seems so out of place?? 

also their voices all sound weird :\ maybe its just too high of a register for ycw and cxh? or maybe theyre just not very good at singing....? lol 

giving xue en the only multi colored tie? THEY KNEW. 

im just happy that the party group was able to make their stage so well that other kids were regretting not choosing them bc ycw was really struggling to get people to join him...

LOL CSP BEING SILLY TO ZHAN YU THIS IS THE FRIENDSHIP I NEED

LOL XZX AND LIN MO are adorable together 

im glad that they spent time to say zhaohao has improved, i feel like hes gotten zero recognition so far. i feel like ycw winning is the only win i am willing to believe so far. (couldve been xue en too tho) 

A FEATURE ON XIKAN’S FRIENDSHIP WITH LUO ZHENG omggggggggggggggg luo zheng the sweetest ge, leaving all the good things for xikan whatt ugh but luo zheng is like literally going actor route so sad that he still wants to be on stage but has no opportunities. im grateful theyre still so close that xikan starts crying just thinking about him 

xikan being involved in the stage design and costuming and all makes me think of lin ran but also makes me think of cai xukun. cxk always gets so involved in every little detail to seek perfection

interesting that they focused it all on zry and lxk........ but at least highlighted xikan’s fun side

lol they purposefully cut in fan yu screaming zry’s name and ycw yelling cyc.... 

but also tbh xikan’s voice was not very strong during his high note and i know hes giving 110% into his dancing so im guessing he doesnt have much air left at that point but i was kinda disappointed it couldve been better. BUT he still did a good job. i thought the part where they ripped off his jacket couldve been more impactful? but it felt like it was just randomly in the middle of the rap break and he doesnt sing again until much later so it was like why did you change clothes there? 

tbh this song isnt that exciting? so im surprised that they wanted it that badly? 

i saw spoilers that fan yu was gonna be there and its adorable and i love their friendship but lol zuo ye being like i shouldve asked all my gege’s to come.... lol aka they know its kinda unfair for fan yu to be winning votes for zry

im grateful all the trainees are supportive of xikan and they purposefully showed a bunch of popular kids cheering for xikan

gosh that injury on his nose, you know hes put too much energy and is too invested into his dance part when he rips his own face like that :\ 

i saw spoilers that renyu would win and someone did the math that it makes zero sense for their group’s score to be that low, but i didnt expect their score to be THAT low.... goodness wtf thats definitely rigged, i see why people were mad. 

renyu winning is either entirely rigged bc youku wants him to debut or people are really just voting for him bc fan yu was there and that’s not fair either. i love renyu (and his friendship with fan yu) but there’s no way renyu actually won that many votes on a stage where he didnt really show his vocals that much and he messed up his dancing and he was surrounded by kids who danced much better and wouldve made him look not great. this makes zero sense. and the fact that ycw is the only winner that made sense is probably bc youku was like well we cant make it too obvious that its all a joke. but really, its all a joke. 

yes i love that renyu worked hard and stayed up all night but can we talk about how xikan does that for every stage? and renyu’s just now started to do so. renyu just came into this competition less prepared, so his improvement is easier to see. 

i still think if youku wants to debut renyu, theyll kick out lin ran from top 7, but can we talk about how lin ran put in all the effort to design and perfect his stage? how he teaches others to dance and pushes his group mates to shine as a leader and how he has truly one of the most memorable and formidable stage presences on this whole show? people say the debuting group will need renyu’s voice but how can you really say that renyu fits and is prepared and deserves to debut more than lin ran? 

renyu is adorable and talented but let’s be real, as a vocalist, hes not like you zhangjing, hes not like zhao lei, hes not like zhao pinlin, hes not proven that he really fits to be a main vocal in a boy band. youku cannot force us into believing that he can fit that role without any evidence to prove his worth. its like theyre trying to jam someone into that role and its like renyu’s their closest bet, but even tho he still doesnt quite fit, theyre just gonna shove him in anyway. this is what happens when you only give attention to people who are dancers and dont give actual attention to people who are actually boy band main vocal material.... /COUGH ZHAN YU or even cui shaopeng?? 

how can you possibly believe that renyu got 173 but their average was 134? none of xikan’s groups numbers make sense: 

how did shengen suddenly drop so much? youku has been touting him this whole time into the top 10. shouldnt more of xikan’s fans voted for xuyu? bc he literally begged during the last elim for xuyu to make it this far. xuyu wasnt even dead last in the elim ranking but here he gets last place by like 15 votes??? when everyone else’s vote difference is like half of that at max? 

you expect me to believe lin ran only got 127 after he literally descended from the ceiling as an angel? that doesnt attract attention? how are both zuo ye and hu wenxuan so low? wenxuan was literally center and had bright pink hair, and in a song style that suited him, you cant tell me he didnt shine on this stage. xikan tied with xzx???? beneath a kou cong and su xunlun tie??? no way 

theres one week left and youku’s getting desperate to make it look like whatever they’re going to make happen will be a natural result, that this competition is up in the air and no one is safe, but it just seems very questionable to me. 

sooo does this mean there arent gonna be elims before the finals or what, we just dont see them announce who gets to perform? im assuming not all 32 kids will take part? and theres not gonna be a mentor collab stage? it wouldve been cool to see han yu and cheng xiao with the kids. there were 3 stages between the first and second elimination but no third elim and no mentor stage? its a mad rush to the end, honestly. 

oh well, we still love these CHILDREN 

ps: if youve been following my rants, i honestly feel like i have had a really positive impression of zheng renyu from the start and i really do like him. he makes really good songs and his voice is very nice and his friendships are pure and his attitude is commendable. 凄美地 and 當帷幕落下 and 後來的我們 are some of my favorite favorite songs to listen to from this entire show, like probably 3 of my top 5, and a good deal of that is because of renyu and his voice. but im just trying to be realistic and renyu is not in my ideal debuting boy band. 

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[patheticfrogarchive]

thesourraindrops replied to your post “idk if any of my followers keep up w youtube drama but hooo boy have i...”

Spill the tea I'm a YouTube drama slut

omg same, i love youtube drama so much its so entertaining

but basically casey did this like, half hour long interview w logan and i really dont know where i stand on it? like i think casey did a decent job of interviewing him, granted he could have gone harder on him but u can always go harder on someone, and i just. on one hand i agree w/ all the stuff logan was saying about how it is possible to learn and grow from past mistakes, and you shouldnt let smeones past define them necessarily, but on the other it seemed like he was doing his damn best to paint himself as a “oh poor me i messed up feel bad for me”. like idk if thats his intention or not but i genuinely can’t tell if hes being legit or not. 

like the whole bit where he was like “theres a difference between being CULTURALLY insensitive and just being plain insensitive”, i mean yeah theres a difference but why nitpick? at the end of the day, you were insensitive, offended a lot of people, and from what i know LOADs of japanese people say that he was culturally insensitive, and i dont think a white dude gets to decide what is and what isnt offensive to japanese culture

he also does this thing where hes like “im just a kid from ohio, im just a kid” and ok while he isnt 35 years old, hes also not a fucking kid. hes 23, a fully grown adult man who SHOULD know how to handle himself. hes not a kid, and i feel like hes pushing that narrative to make people feel bad for him. which is manipulative as hell

i can’t fault him for his reaction after he found the body. that shit is traumatizing and making jokes and laughing is, in my opinion, a perfectly normal coping response. hell, i was cracking jokes about my friend who passed away from suicide not very long after i found out, it was a way to cope. offensive? probably, but i wasn’t in the right mindset and i was doing whatever i could to make myself feel better. it bothers me how much people focus on the “u were laughing therefore ur evil” argument tbh

what i DO fault him for is willingly editing that footage and uploading it to youtube. they could have easily deleted it and then filmed a bit afterwards explaining what happened. i do think he had good intentions deep down somewhere about spreading a good message, but he just did it the completely wrong way

idk, i was talking about this w my friend last night and neither of us know where exactly to land on the whole thing? like i’m not a fan of the pauls, i think theyre obnoxious, self absorbed assholes who are awful role models for children, and i hate that theyre famous, but i also think it would actually be really nice to see someone genuinely learn from their fuck ups and truly become a better person by owning up to their mistakes and not making shitty excuses (like what i feel like logan is doing atm).

if u watch phillip defranco, i pretty much wholly agree with what he said on it, and he does a much better job of wording himself than me lmao

im just really interested to see where everything goes from here. i think the whole documentary thing is a really stupid idea, but if hes gonna do it at the very least he should make it free to watch on youtube and donate any ad revenue from it to charity (and prove it). the whole boxing thing that he and jake are doing w ksi and his brother is stupid too, plus ur gonna have to pay to watch it which is even dumber, its basically just some silly publicity thing. no matter who wins its gonna suck either way cause ksi is almost as equally annoying as logan paul imo

omg there was also the whole thing w the pauls dad, greg paul???? ive never seen a more embarrassing excuse for a father holy shit, apparently he assaulted some kid at a press conference, plus a while back in one of jakes vidoes he made out with this possibly underage girl while she was blindfolded??? it was weird, but it explains why the kids are so fucked lol

basically theres so much going on

[jarofglitter]

Another GW2 Guild/Community drama heads up. I have been going over the conversations, and thinking if there is anything I want to add.

Perhaps two things, that actually *hurt* me the most was that a) my aid (giving away stocks of all kinds of mats from common to rare or what little saved gold I had, purchasing and crafting things for people, keeping them company or being part of the group so they could complete something they seek quicker, etc.) was erased so very easily, and b) that the misinterpretation of my help and intentions for a sick friend to be taken as "taking over her project"

Also we have been doing the "help others" thing way before any of us jumped to this server. Before there wans any idea of making a guild. Keeping track of it just made it official. I am also bit puzzled on why this is one person's project but not the community's...  

For what it is worth, I will keep helping others.

Zeb’s DMs 4/4

Zeb---- Today at 2:54 PM I never have

del - Today at 2:54 PM I am really tired to reason with anyone.

Zeb---- Today at 2:54 PM now you're putting words into my mouth

del - Today at 2:55 PM No, I'm not. That is WHAT they did.

Zeb---- Today at 2:55 PM I am not THEY

del - Today at 2:55 PM You will be part of it soon, eventually. So I am just telling it bluntly.

Zeb---- Today at 2:55 PM Everyone is their own person

del - Today at 2:55 PM I dont udnerstand this intense fear of order.

Zeb---- Today at 2:56 PM thats not what this is. we never talked over what the rules should have been and we never settled on a time to talk it over

del - Today at 2:56 PM ZEB WOULD YOU PLEASE READ WHAT I AM WRITING

Zeb---- Today at 2:56 PM I did

del - Today at 2:56 PM THE *GUIDELINES WERE MADE OUT OF NECESIRTY AND HASTILY I NEVER SAID THEY WERE FINAL AND WE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT CONTIBRUTION

Zeb---- Today at 2:57 PM BUT YOU ACTED ON THEM AS IF THEY WERE

del - Today at 2:57 PM NONE OF YOU STEPPED FORWARD AND SHARED WHAT YOU THINK YOU SUMPLY DID NOT

Zeb---- Today at 2:57 PM WE TRIED

del - Today at 2:57 PM YOU DO NOT GET TO BLAME ME FOR THAT

Zeb---- Today at 2:57 PM I TRIED

del - Today at 2:57 PM NO NONE OF YOU DID

Zeb---- Today at 2:57 PM and you cant just go ahead with rules if no one collaborates

del - Today at 2:57 PM THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE CONVERSITATON ABOUT IT

Zeb---- Today at 2:57 PM I know

del - Today at 2:57 PM EVEN AFTER I ASKED PEOPLE IF THEY LIKED IT OR NOT

Zeb---- Today at 2:58 PM exactly. it never should have been decided, then passed to us

del - Today at 2:58 PM I didnt establish rules out of my ass.

Zeb---- Today at 2:58 PM you kind of did. hastily.

del - Today at 2:58 PM People needed chat rooms, I made chat rooms. I wrote a text to explain what they are for to avoid confusion and chaos.

Zeb---- Today at 2:58 PM there was never confusion and chaos

del - Today at 2:58 PM People misused them many times, I let them slip, then warned and nudged, and they just kept doing it. Zeb...

Zeb---- Today at 2:59 PM ok... listen to this.

del - Today at 2:59 PM the point isnt "it wasnt yet"(edited) the purpose fo those were to avoid it before it happened

Zeb---- Today at 2:59 PM thats not how rules are made. There was never a speed limit rule before cars were invented.

Zeb---- Today at 3:00 PM and despite us using chat channels for things other than your intended purpose, there was never chaos

del - Today at 3:00 PM Hello, I have common sense and a little bit of knowldge on community space works.

Zeb---- Today at 3:00 PM so do I

del - Today at 3:01 PM You dont wait to make note on "was your hands after you pee" on the toilet, you put it there before anyone pokes food with their peed hands.

Zeb---- Today at 3:01 PM actually, thats exactly how that came about. now as a society, its a non-issue rules arent made before problems exist

del - Today at 3:02 PM Zeb, we are poeple who are makign ruels and guidelines because of the experince they had. You cant just wait for things to get thesmelves on fire before making sure that doesnt happen. Why is this so ahrd to grasp? Is that an American thing?

Zeb---- Today at 3:02 PM you dont have to and that was uncalled for

del - Today at 3:02 PM Is that a culture thing? Because that is not how I was educated nor experinced. That is an honest question.

Zeb---- Today at 3:03 PM no, it was a low blow.

del - Today at 3:03 PM You know me well enough that I dont make jokes about those stuff.

Zeb---- Today at 3:03 PM didn't sound like a joke. sounded like a prod, which you've been known to do. even so

del - Today at 3:04 PM Prod?

Zeb---- Today at 3:04 PM a jab

del - Today at 3:04 PM What's a prod? Uhh... what's a jab?

Zeb---- Today at 3:04 PM a mean poke.

del - Today at 3:04 PM ...what? I didnt do that out of meaness. I asked it honeslty. Why would I be mean?

Zeb---- Today at 3:06 PM Good question. you have been in the past, but its irrelevant right now.

You dont have to wait for things to come crashing down to make rules. Thats not what im suggesting.

But rules as strict as yours about things as minor as yours were made pre-emptively. If unrest had come about, then a more direct degree of order might be warranted

del - Today at 3:07 PM I will give you two simple examples. Sassy requested a music bot. I created a connected voice and text channel for it. Why? I have my own hearing problems. I cannot hear people well all the time. Especially when there is many of them. Considering there might be other people like me who would prefer to have a channel for conversitation other than music bc everyone can have their music in bg, I madema spesific voice channel for it. It was not only to help people like me but also the music bot into a shared secondary activty within the server. Encouraging people to share their loved songs and sing a long if they wished. Idy didnt really enjoy others singing, so she avoided to music channel.

Zeb---- Today at 3:10 PM no one has had an issue with the music bot or its affiliated channel, and they are completely beside the issue.

The issues were entirely within the confines of the overabundance of voice channels

del - Today at 3:10 PM If she didnt have alternate options she would be stuck there or would be avoiding having calls with us. The text channel was for bot to avoid clutter in general chat. Bc when you write in general it pins everyone up. Why would we harass people with it? It got his own channels so people could use them without disturbing others. This was a prediction and served us well. Oh, I forgot the second one...

Zeb---- Today at 3:12 PM again, the music bot and its channels has nothing to do with this. Next?

del - Today at 3:13 PM Again you are missing my point.

Zeb---- Today at 3:13 PM im not.

del - Today at 3:13 PM I am trying to show you why I made guidelines with what predictions. You are ignoring it then.

Zeb---- Today at 3:14 PM not all of the rules or regulation are applicable to the current situation, so you cant lump them all together as either "complete oversaturation of rules" or "complete anarchy". There is an in-between. and Im not ignoring it

del - Today at 3:15 PM What I am trying to say is, I made all those channels with predictions and all those served well. There wasnt anarchy because I did my best to avoid it, despite everyone refusal to follow the guidelines.

Zeb---- Today at 3:15 PM no, there wasn't anarchy because there wouldn't have been anyway. There's no anarchy in and discord chat im in, of the 25 or 30 im in.

del - Today at 3:16 PM If you are not missing the point and if you are not ignoring it, then what are you doing Zeb? Because I dont think you are stupid.

Zeb---- Today at 3:16 PM you are failing to see that i am not missing your point, you are ignoring mine. which you interprit as me missing it. and this is where the disconnect is

del - Today at 3:18 PM No, your point doesnt make sense. You are cheering for no rules no guidelines.

Zeb---- Today at 3:18 PM no im not. Im cheering for fewer, but important, rules. because overabundance of rules stresses members out, and makes more work for the owners there is no benefit

del - Today at 3:19 PM Okay. Do me favour. Shut up about how I did everything wrong, and tell me how you would do.

Zeb---- Today at 3:19 PM sure

del - Today at 3:20 PM Make a server, design it the way you want and invite me.

Zeb---- Today at 3:28 PM I am making a server for a group of 6 to 10 people, which was the original scope of our group. If it grew bigger, it would change.

I am consoling a friend on voice chat, so I wont be accompanying you there.

If you have questions, ask them here. [link]

**IN THE SERVER**

del - Today at 3:30 PM okay... want me to point of your msitakes? out*

Zeb---- Today at 3:31 PM point out your opinion of flaws, and I will tell you why I made the decisions. how about that, instead of you calling them mistakes already.

del - Today at 3:31 PM General chat pings everyone when a message sent in.

Zeb---- Today at 3:31 PM ok users can mute that if they choose so its no issue

del - Today at 3:31 PM you cant mute general as well as i know but that is not the point now be quiet and read

Zeb---- Today at 3:32 PM one at a time to avoid confusion http://puu.sh/xjX8w/db32ef6491.png

del - Today at 3:33 PM People who are going to use any of those VCs will not always have a mike, will not always be able to talk, or they might be mute. To avoid confusion between the general chat and what those people would like to say when they are lsitening to your friends, you need a channel for them. If you make them write in general chat, it will confuse the people who are not in VC

Zeb---- Today at 3:34 PM they dont need mics. they should chat in game with their party.

del - Today at 3:34 PM Which did, in our other server, something I know from experince, and that is WHY I created the text for speech channel in our server.

Zeb---- Today at 3:34 PM I dont have 2 monitors, even when Idy types in her chat, I miss it. and im not tabbing out to read it. I read party chat,

del - Today at 3:34 PM Not everyone is in the same part or squad or guild.

Zeb---- Today at 3:35 PM then whisper, or read the guild chat,

del - Today at 3:35 PM So you are simply ignoring her because she doesnt have a mike?

Zeb---- Today at 3:35 PM no...

del - Today at 3:35 PM What if she is talking towards multiple people? Who are all in different guilds?

Zeb---- Today at 3:35 PM if she has no mic and wont use general, party, guild, or whisper, then why is she here? you can chat and see chat across multiple guilds in game

del - Today at 3:36 PM Wow.

Zeb---- Today at 3:36 PM thats what I do and its much easier.

del - Today at 3:36 PM Okay.

Zeb---- Today at 3:36 PM if they are part of the guild, its presumed they want to be,

del - Today at 3:36 PM So you are saying I can talk to Idy on voice and she can asnwer me in guild chat. That wouldnt make peopel confusing at all? Who are not in the VC or in this server at all.

Zeb---- Today at 3:37 PM Im saying if its a private conversation, use whisper if its between multiple people, use party

del - Today at 3:37 PM You just kicked out a friend from this server for not having mic, instead of making interactions with her and people like her more easy. Contrgulations on your first ban.

Zeb---- Today at 3:37 PM i did not at all.

del - Today at 3:37 PM Next

Zeb---- Today at 3:37 PM I didnt do that. but sure, next.

del - Today at 3:38 PM What are those voice chats stands for? They have no presentation? Where the music bot gonna be?

Zeb---- Today at 3:38 PM there is no music bot unless many people want one. if they do, I can make one. and the VCs are generally

del - Today at 3:38 PM Many people wanted the bot. What now?

Zeb---- Today at 3:38 PM I heard sassy suggest it, but not more than that. and even so, sure. make a channel. Thats besides the point.

del - Today at 3:39 PM All of them have ben using it.

Zeb---- Today at 3:39 PM this is for guild communication

del - Today at 3:39 PM Asnwer my questions

Zeb---- Today at 3:39 PM I did.

del - Today at 3:39 PM Many people wanted the bot. What now?

Zeb---- Today at 3:39 PM so make a bot. sure. I didn't because no one is here. again, its besides the point

del - Today at 3:40 PM you dont have to make a bot. We are playing pretend. Many people wanted the bot. You get the bot. What now?(edited)

Zeb---- Today at 3:40 PM they play music in the channel for it. thats it.

del - Today at 3:41 PM and where they going to que and request songs for it?

Zeb---- Today at 3:41 PM thats all they need. and if they cant have a music bot and its a deal breaker, then bye. this is a guild for people to be with eachother and play, talk, and socialize

del - Today at 3:41 PM They need a text channel to be able to use the bot. So they can request songs.

Zeb---- Today at 3:41 PM messing with a music bot is not required. when the bot is added, then so will a text channel. but its not a requirement.

del - Today at 3:42 PM So, no fun is allowed everyone has to play GW2 and they cannot even talk anything other than GW2 even music? Got it.

Zeb---- Today at 3:42 PM didnt say that. stop putting words in my mouth.

del - Today at 3:42 PM This server you build is way too stricting than anything I did in the CAKE! server.

Zeb---- Today at 3:42 PM people can play other things. not at all.

del - Today at 3:42 PM Yes it is.

Zeb---- Today at 3:42 PM people can play whatever they want and be in whatever chat they want the VCs are there for people to use when necessary so they can form groups

del - Today at 3:43 PM There is no presentation and there is no rules, there is no way of telling how to use what. As far as I know people can use those one of those VCs for voice ERP, Zeb.(edited)

Zeb---- Today at 3:44 PM If people want to use things for ERP, then I can make an nsfw channel for them, sure. Boom, there it is.

del - Today at 3:44 PM EW

Zeb---- Today at 3:44 PM well, you asked.

del - Today at 3:44 PM No, I didnt asked for it.

Zeb---- Today at 3:44 PM next.

del - Today at 3:45 PM I pointed out none of those VCs has a decided purpose, they are just there. It is not presetanble.

Zeb---- Today at 3:45 PM they dont need to be

del - Today at 3:45 PM I persoally wouldnt spend too much time here to figure out what I am suppsoed to do without something to read to figure out what is it for what.

Zeb---- Today at 3:46 PM There can be 6 people in general chat to start with

del - Today at 3:46 PM There is also no space for community/guild projects.

Zeb---- Today at 3:46 PM doesn't need to be with 6 to 10 people, like the original scope we had.

del - Today at 3:46 PM You are forcing peopel to use general chat and clutter it with all kidns of information.

Zeb---- Today at 3:46 PM and you can use announcements for that

del - Today at 3:47 PM While you could have seperated rooms to spesific needs. This is chaotic and stressing.

Zeb---- Today at 3:47 PM I've covered the major bases. Most guilds ive been in dont have much more than this.

del - Today at 3:47 PM Well, we are not a guild.

Zeb---- Today at 3:47 PM and all the discord servers ive seen with all that clutter remain empty for a good chunk of time

del - Today at 3:47 PM We were a community that was suppsoed to house guildies and non-guildies all together. More people, more needs, more necessery space.

Zeb---- Today at 3:48 PM to be added as needed. no need, no add. here's an example: http://puu.sh/xjXvU/cae296564e.png

del - Today at 3:48 PM I added the thigns that was needed. I saw the ned and I added them. I didnt suddenly tried to make random channels just bc i feel like it.

Zeb---- Today at 3:48 PM they werent needs. they were 1 or 2 people asking for something

del - Today at 3:49 PM No not just 1 or 2 people I observed people Zeb

Zeb---- Today at 3:49 PM here's another example of a cluttered guild with no attendies http://puu.sh/xjXwJ/342fc3c4d4.png

del - Today at 3:49 PM I created those for people's needs, I didnt just made those because 1 person wanted.

Zeb---- Today at 3:49 PM http://puu.sh/xjXyo/66e8b8522e.png

del - Today at 3:49 PM Plus music bot is a fun thing, and I also wanted to have fun.

Zeb---- Today at 3:49 PM there were no needs there were desires. next?

del - Today at 3:50 PM That's a good scuruter, ours are almost the same. We just have prettier names.

Zeb---- Today at 3:50 PM notice how they are empty. and for the most part only 3 or 4 channels are used regularly

del - Today at 3:51 PM Next is, this server doesn't serve well to the needs of people. It is not presentable, it lacks any kind of rule and guidelines. It is home for anarchy.

Zeb---- Today at 3:51 PM it's got a generall rule that goes without saying, play nice. other stuff can be made as you go. and you are misusing the term anarchy.

del - Today at 3:52 PM chaos then, whatever. disorder. not everyone is capable of udnerstanding "general rules that goes without saying"

Zeb---- Today at 3:52 PM and clearly, very few are capable of understanding an ever growing mountain of rules.

del - Today at 3:52 PM i mean, look at the current poltical situtation? Do you think those people are "playing nice"? do you reallt think people here going to "play nice"? extreme example but, it is there

Zeb---- Today at 3:53 PM they were, and in every other server im in, they do. they arent now because they feel attacked in your server.

del - Today at 3:53 PM Zeb, your ahhm... how to say

Zeb---- Today at 3:53 PM whether or not you agree is irrelevant

del - Today at 3:53 PM You have too much tolerance for bullshit I dont.

Zeb---- Today at 3:54 PM and you have no tolerance for pretty much anything. I have seen it.

del - Today at 3:54 PM Not correct

Zeb---- Today at 3:54 PM like, you wont tolerate people running ahead in dungeons? or saying the B-word? or any other normal thing?

del - Today at 3:54 PM If I didnt have tolerance I would be swinging ban-hammer, isntead of letting thigns slip or simply trying to warn and inform people.

Zeb---- Today at 3:54 PM not necessarily. you dont have to get extreme to have no tolerance

del - Today at 3:55 PM People have been using that word with me in chat so many times. I let it slip numerous times, even after I waited patiently after I warned them. I didnt cut people's tongue for using it. I laughed and thanked for their udnerstanding.

Zeb---- Today at 3:55 PM you get on their case every time, so they say sorry. how agressive you are changes, but generally its the same.

del - Today at 3:56 PM I get irritated when peopel dont follow each other, because many people have connection and loading issues. They run froward, and then they kick me from groups before I can laod in. So it makes me annoyed and makes me stressed. Thats why I have been playing with friends only. They wait and they know and isntead of being stressed and i can laugh at it

Zeb---- Today at 3:57 PM people dont generally kick you if you are loading in.

del - Today at 3:57 PM they did Zeb

Zeb---- Today at 3:57 PM usually, they run ahead and kill everything, then you get there,

del - Today at 3:57 PM im not lying or making something up

Zeb---- Today at 3:57 PM in raids it might be different. im not saying you are

del - Today at 3:57 PM its not a raid

Zeb---- Today at 3:57 PM like when we first ran AC

del - Today at 3:57 PM its dungeons and fractals look

Zeb---- Today at 3:57 PM you remember?

del - Today at 3:58 PM We are incaplbe of reaching to a point here.

Zeb---- Today at 3:58 PM we are on a tangent. and are in disagreement. our opinions are different.

del - Today at 3:58 PM You keep blaming me on things, on not being tolerant or being agressive, even thought the it has been clear that I always had enoguh tolerance for all of it.

Zeb---- Today at 3:58 PM you dont show it in your writing. at all

del - Today at 3:59 PM And even if I didnt, I tried to make up for it. I get dissapointed over things, when they dont go the way they should.

Zeb---- Today at 3:59 PM everyone does. and we all handle it differently

del - Today at 3:59 PM I handled the best way, but I cannot fix thigns if people are unresponsive and choose to ignore.

Zeb---- Today at 4:00 PM no, a better way would have been to look at the whole picture.

del - Today at 4:00 PM I am not always on people's neck, yelling or whatever you think I am doing. If you find that my voice that raised, and my attitude was agressive, then it had a reason.

Zeb---- Today at 4:01 PM the whole picture was that no one in our chat was confused or lost, we were all having a good time and enjoying ourselves.

del - Today at 4:01 PM Becuase I waited patiently, because I warned, because I ignored, but I saw no change. So I chaged my attitude to make people notice it.

Zeb---- Today at 4:01 PM then you came in, overreacted on our location, and left.

del - Today at 4:01 PM Does it work? Yes, it does.

Zeb---- Today at 4:02 PM it made people leave. people who used to love you,

del - Today at 4:02 PM I didnt overreacted, you guys were the oens overreacted my message to fix this issue. I dont care.

Zeb---- Today at 4:02 PM I disagree.

del - Today at 4:02 PM If people going to love me by stepping on me, then that is not love. That is not mutually healthy relationship.

Zeb---- Today at 4:02 PM they didn't step on you, they were in the wrong channel.

del - Today at 4:02 PM And I am glad they are gone.

Zeb---- Today at 4:03 PM and little errors here and there shouldn't be stepping on.

del - Today at 4:03 PM I would prefer to have very few friends who has common sense and logic then a bunch of so called adults who thrives in no-rules no-guidelines no-working-together mindsets.(edited)

Zeb---- Today at 4:04 PM your logic seems flawed. We all were working together on stuff we were interested in. we were cooperating without needing gratuitous rules and everyone was having fun del - Today at 4:04 PM we all know that doesnt work, at some point it breaks and everyone cries(edited)

Zeb---- Today at 4:05 PM and that point was when you tore into the group. not from something we did. and it can work it does work

del - Today at 4:06 PM Okay. You guys didnt follow the guidelines, you get warned numerous times. Didnt listen. I rised my voice to show my dissapointment. And then made a post to offer all of us a chance to fix this together. Everyone refused and everyone didnt want to be responsbily of their msitakes. And everyone thought I was an easy target. I wasnt. End of story. Im really tired, of repeating myself.

Zeb---- Today at 4:06 PM there were too many guidelines there ye go

del - Today at 4:06 PM I really feel like a robot now. ---- [I quit the server after this.]

Zeb---- Today at 4:09 PM I suppose thats it then. Good luck in your endeavors, you will be missed.  ---- [I got blocked after this so I didn’t get to reply and there is no point anyways.]

[viralhottopics]

My Life as a Robot

I have been part robot since May. Instead of legs, I move on gyroscopically stabilized wheels. Instead of a face, I have an iPad screen. Instead of eyes, a camera with no peripheral vision. Instead of a mouth, a speaker whose volume I can’t even gauge with my own ears. And instead of ears, a tinny microphone that crackles and hisses withevery high note.

Im a remote worker; while most of WIRED is in San Francisco, I live in Boston. We IM. We talk on the phone. We tweet at each other, but I am often left out of crucial face-to-face meetings, spontaneous brainstorm sessions, gossip in the kitchen.

So my boss found a solution: a telepresence robot from Double Robotics, which would be my physical embodiment at headquarters, extending myself through technology. Specifically, an iPad on a stick on a Segway-like base. The telepresence robot market is crowded, ranging from high-end offerings like iRobot’s Ava (starting price: $69K) to the relatively more affordable Double, which starts at $2,499. The company says it has sold nearly 5,000 of them since its launch in 2012. Mostly these go to big corporations like IBM and McDonald’s, but I’ve heard of teachers and hospitals using them, too. Supposedly all a Double needs to work is a strong Wi-Fi signal.

Christie Hemm Klok/WIRED

The first time I opened the Double interface in Chrome and clicked on an icon of my robot 3,000 miles away I was greeted by the pixelated image of my boss’s torso and a few headless coworkers. There probably were some instructions somewhere that I should have read, but I didn’t. “How do I move it?” I asked them. “We don’t know,” they said. I clicked around. Nothing. I tried the arrow keys and, boom, jolted out of the robot’s charging dock and toward onlookers. I was like a foal, learning to walk. It took about 10 minutes to discover that a) driving a robot using a browser interface is clunky and b) the hip flooring choices of WIRED’s office were going to be my nemesis, with every transition from concrete to rubber to carpet providing another opportunity to fall on my screen.

Growing Pains

Before I ever tried the robot, I was sure I would hate the thing.I thought it would make me small and flat and foolish. I thought it would be annoying to deal with, would require me to wear pants (something we remote workers often don’t do, world!). I thought it would make me a novelty, a sideshow, a joke. And I thought it would be a waste of time.

Diary Entry: Day 1 Nice to meet you…robot, is it? says a strange torso I encounter in the kitchen.

EmBot, I say, Nice to meet you, too!

The figure leans down and puts a hand out to shake. Helpless, I move the EmBot from side to side using the arrow keys in what I hope translates as a gesture of excitement, rather than malfunction. Ill never really know if it worked out. The screen freezes and when it comes back, the torso is gone. I am alone, standing in a stream of humans trying to get breakfast.

Its just me, a robot, waiting in line for the human food I cant eat, I say. No response. I repeat it a few times. Is this thing on?

When I boot up, some of my original fears are realized: I’m disoriented and silly and helpless. I am a spectacle. People ogle and take pictures. I feel like a dog, the recipient of gawking smiles that say, Awwww, youre so adorably unable to take care of yourself. But, most importantly, I am surprised to find that being a robot is delightful. It’s thrilling. I am in the office! There is the kitchen! There is Sam! Hi, everyone! I am here!

Diary Entry: Day 2 I roll over behind Sams desk for a brief chat about a deadline. She hasnt heard me approach. I dont know what to do. If I just say her name shell freak out. I Hipchat her, Look behind you. As soon as I do it, I realize thats creepy—but its too late. She turns and there I am.

Hi, I say as casually as possible, I just–

Sam cuts me off. Em, she says, can you control the volume? Youre very loud.

I am? I ask.

YES, the entire bullpen yells.

I find and adjust the volume. I guess I was screaming all day.

Later that morning, I experienced the joy of being in the daily editorial meeting as a robot. Plunked at the end of the conference table, my iPad head tracked the conversation, listening. Yes, I interrupted people because my browser was a few seconds behind. Didn’t matter. I heard Molly on the phone from the Caribbean and she was barely audible. The audio system sucks. As she was trying to talk people were kind of looking exasperated. Not at her, but at the system. That was me two days ago, I kept thinking. Two days ago that speaker system was my only conduit to theentire company.

It was then I knew I could never go back. I felt so superior as my robot. I loved my robot.

I Am Become EmBot

The crazy thing about being a human 3,000 miles away from your telepresence robot is that divide instantly dissolves when you activate. As soon as I call into EmBot, I am her, and she is me. My head is her iPad. When she fell, I felt disoriented in Boston. When a piece of her came off in the impact, I felt broken.

Nothing drove home the depth of my connection more than the first time someone touched my robotic body without asking. My coworker (who shall remain nameless) came up to gawk at me, and then moved behind my screen. As I was chatting with other people, he picked me up and shook me. I expected pranks like this. Id have done the same thing if I were in the office and it were some other poor schmuck calling in to a stupid robot from far away. But I didnt expect how instantly violated I felt. He just picked up an extension of my body. One moment I was in control of myself, the next, I was powerless. I laughed from the iPad screen faced away from him, but I was unsettled, and then immediately embarrassed, for the first time, because why should it matter to me if the stick Im currently streaming from is picked up off the floor a continent away?

Get over it, I told myself. But then it happened again. And again.

Diary Entry, Day 3 My coworker picks me up as Im wheeling to the meeting because Im slow. I don’t want to be slow! I want to walk on my own! Im an adult! She lifts me up before I have a chance to object. In the air I meekly say, Just ask me first if youre going to lift me, which no one responds to because I assume they think that it’s a joke.

This became my secret shame. People wanted to help me, but every single time they did it, I felt infantilized. I needed to tell my coworkers not to pick me up—a conversation I dreaded. I did this by sending them a draft of my daily robot diary, in which they read about how I was feeling. (Classic passive aggressive move, you say? No doubt, but the few times I’d said the words aloud, they hadn’t clicked for people, so I thought the log was the best way.) It worked. Now no one touches my robot without permission. Case in point:

Diary Entry: Day 5 I cant get out of the all-glass conference room alone. I turn my screen to Joe and he says, Should I carry you?

Thats probably wise.

Ill just drop you off where its straight and then you can make your way from there. Joe is basically my robots father, and my robot is a toddler. When he picks me up Im jostled. He gently places me down at the straight hallway and I want very badly to navigate quickly back to my dock to prove Im self-sufficient, but the screen freezes twice and the motor is slow and it takes me forever.

Later, on the phone, another editor off-handedly said, You know, when Joe lifted you up and carried you—now I hope this doesnt make you uncomfortable—but from our end, with your face on the screen, it looked really inappropriate. Like he was cradling you in his arms. Because when we see the face, our brains cant help but project the rest of you, and so it was like you were actually being carried.

Looking at the future. #embot #newnewwiredoffice

A photo posted by @joemfbrown on May 7, 2015 at 11:00am PDT

So, even though I had given Joe permission to lift EmBot up, the fact that my face was still on the screen made other people uncomfortable. Fine. Another rule: If I ask for help and you pick me up, I’ll disconnect so the screen is dark. Voila. Everything was going to be fine.

EmBot Grows Up

After I put a stop to the inappropriate robot-touching, things quickly went from good to great. I’d call this the euphoria stage. I mastered the arrow keys (rather than holding them down and over correcting, just hit them quickly one at a time and roll like a BOSS). I figured out how to makethe robot stand taller so I wasnt constantly having conversations with peoples crotches. I booted up in the middle of spontaneous brainstorm sessions and shared ideas.

Diary Entry: Day 6

Major breakthrough! I have my first West-Wing-style walk and talk as Embot. I knew this day would come. After the morning meeting, Patrick walks with me down the hallway discussing a longread Im editing. Hes so cool about the robot thing that I briefly forget completely that its not normal to be a disembodied metal moving machine with an iPad for a face. He only says one thing that would be weird if I was walking down the hall as a fully-fleshed human, Youre about to run into wall, come this way.

At this point, I was also the star of cocktail parties in Boston. Everyone wanted to know how it was going with the robot. Are people still laughing at you? No. Isnt it weird that your robot is naked? No. Whats the worst thing thats happened with the robot so far? When I hit a dead-zone and EmBot died behind a strangers desk, with my face frozen on the screen, and I found out later that they thought I was lurking and spying on them. I mean, thats also one of the funnier things thats ever happened, but pretty terrible for that poor creeped-out human.

And just like that, I was a part of work in a way Id struggled to be since I first came on at WIRED. As a typical oldest child, tyrant and benefactor to two younger brothers, I pride myself on making sure everyone feels like were all in this together—whether “this” is divorce or publishing a magazine. Its hard to be that kind of leader when youre isolated from your team completely. When youre a voice coming out of speaker. EmBot changed that completely. Suddenly, there I was, materialized. My reporters and I started meeting face to face to discuss deadlines. Everything was so jovial and natural.

Christie Hemm Klok/WIRED

The other incredibly wonderful thing at this stage was that though Embot put me physically in the office, because she was just my head and not my body no one at work was seeing how pregnant I was looking. Now, of course, they know I am pregnant, but since I am not there, the visual reminder of my changed condition was not in their faces. I have worked at places before where women start getting treated differently when their bellies show. The kid gloves come on. I had been dreading how this could play out, but the way EmBot works I remained present and yet unchanged. No one remarked on my belly. It was not a factor in my work.

I became obsessed with EmBot. I couldt stop thinking about her when I turned her off at night. How sad that this thing that has made my life so much better was just dead when Im done working.

Diary Entry: Day 8

Its Friday. It occurs to me that EmBot doesnt get to enjoy the weekend. If only she had arms, she could push the button, summon the elevator, and be free. But shes a prisoner at work. Whereas my physical body is having adventures, growing a human life inside it and moving into a new apartment AND dog-sitting a Bernese Mountain dog.

Mostly my weekend will be about trying not poison my unborn child with paint fumes. My physical body is such a liability. Embot, though she is shackled to work and unable to exist without me to inhabit her, in some ways has the much simpler side of existence.

What if I have to share the Embot with someone? I tell myself that would be fine, but I know already that I would be feel upset. Embot is a part of me. Anyone else would be an intruder.

You can see from the daily diary entry that it was right about now that my connection with EmBot got a little weird. I couldnt let go of this notion that Embot was me and yet she lacked all freedom to exist outside the office. I started to feel that she was a caged animal. Which made me feel like a caged animal.

EmBot needed her freedom.

Get her a Mi-Fi, my friends suggested. Suddenly I imagined this vast conspiracy—finagling a coworker in SF to get me a company MiFi and surreptitiously hiding it under her screen. But then what? EmBot would rush out into the big bad streets of SOMA and try to find other robots to play with, meanwhile my poor comrade would be grilled by the Conde Nast HR department wanting to know “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ROBOT? Who pushed the button to call the elevator, huh? The robot has no hands!”

That was clearly a terrible idea … and yet. I fantasized. I drove her past the elevator banks a few times to see if the Wi-Fi was strong enough for her to sneak out the door. I dont know what my plan was. EmBot was becoming a teenager. A teenager pushing her boundaries, pushing her luck.

First Pangs of Mortality

A photo posted by Patrick Witty (@patrickwitty) on May 7, 2015 at 12:09pm PDT

Within a few days, I started to realize perhaps EmBot wasn’t invincible after all. For one thing, I couldnt hear meetings very well. Sometimes I had to put my ear directly to the computer speaker to hear the people at the far end of the conference table, which meant that in the room EmBots face was just the folds of my (hopefully not-waxy) ear canal.

Double offers a $99 audio kit, which maybe would help this, but since we hadn’t yet decided if the robot was a wise investment, it was too early to shell out for add-ons.

Worse, though all EmBot needs to live is power and and Wi-Fi, signal strength was proving to be a big problem. Double Robotics acknowledges this is the leadingissue among corporate customers, because most businesses don’t prioritize a strong signal in hallways. This doesn’t matter for humans, but these dead zones can make navigating an office impossible for robots.

So even as I was obsessing about freeing EmBot from the cage of WIREDs office, she seemed less and less reliable. Even when the Wi-Fi was strong, the video would freeze for no reason. I missed crucial information in meetings, only to later learn that everyone thought I was listening because EmBot had frozen with my face on the screen, trapped in a ridiculous expression of curiosity.

And then, this happened:

Diary Entry: Day 12 I am feeling so alone. Embot is in a coma. She didnt charge overnight. “Haha,” I played it cool over IM to Davey, who sits next to Embot and checked on her vital signs for me. She shoved Embot into her dock. I assume shes charging now, but I cant tell.

Diary Entry: Day 13

She remains cut off of me. Its like Embot is in the kind of coma where she cant move or speak or alert the doctors that she is alive but inside her head, she is screaming, LET ME OUT! IM HERE! DONT TURN ME OFF!

Ive called her doctors, or parents, or gods, DoubleRobotics, but theres no answer. Theyll get back to me in one business day.

If she ever wakes up again, I promise to give her a better life. To give her some freedom.

Diary Entry, Day 14

Embot just had a seizure. I was so happy when she woke up that I decided this was my big chance to sneak her out and onto the elevator. I eased her out of the dock and turned to the right, but immediately something was wrong: her head was shaking. Just a little a bit at first but then side to side violently, thrashing around, my field of vision swinging wildly, too fast to make out peoples faces. I tried turning her and found that she was still responding to me somewhat but she could not be still. She was like diabetic Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias, shaking out her beautiful wedding hair in Truveys salon.

I heard Chuck say, Oh no, youve woken EmBot like she was some kind of monster.

What is happening? Davey cried from her desk.

EmBot is having a seizure! I screamed into the computer. I dont know what to do!

As Embots camera panned quickly in front of Davey I saw her get up.

Can you put her in her dock? I asked, breathless.

She wont stop moving. She just keeps shaking.

I turned her off on my end, but Davey reported that she was still seizing on her own, face blank. She was like the body of a chicken, walking bloody around the yard after the chef cuts its head off. I implored Davey to find a button to turn her off. She did. She docked her. Shes docked now.

My heart wont stop beating. Maybe EmBot is corrupted and corroded and my time with her is over. Maybe EmBot is a monster. I feel like I just a had a seizure.

@EmilyDreyfuss FYI, Embots going crazy. Wandered out of its dock, now manically rolling back and forth.

Alex Davies (@adavies47) May 19, 2015

Were working on a fix. A coworker in San Francisco is logging into her, which normally would upset me, but Im so nervous I don’t care that another being enters her.

Im on the phone with Double Robotics, relaying what he finds.

He reports: On the screen it was shimmying back and forth, and I looked across the room and it looked like a wandering confused and dizzy child aimless and afraid. and alone. I left my screen and went over to see if I could help. I picked it up and smelled the wheels to see if it was on fire or anything then hurried back to my screen to put it in PARK. I may cover it in a sheet.

The Reckoning

Teaching my robot the hard lesson that she is not free http://pic.twitter.com/wen8MONbBm

— emily dreyfuss (@EmilyDreyfuss) May 21, 2015

After EmBot terrorized the office, nothing was the same. I relinquished my delusions of granduer. Double Robotics sent a new unit, and immediately upon activating it I knew it was not really EmBot. It rolls differently. Its speakers are quieter. It doesn’t connect to the Wi-Fi as well. It teeters differently on the carpet-edge. It’s not me. It’s just a robot. A robot I can’t trust.

I still use it, of course. Sure, It’s incredibly glitchy. Most weeks I have to write in our group chatroom, “SOS: EmBot is stranded somewhere between the dock and the IT department. Can someone rescue it?” It went through a phase where I couldn’t hear anything being said in meetings. Then for four days it was paralyzed, so needed to be picked up and carried everywhere. Now it does this thing where it clicks and hisses when the Wi-Fi connection struggles, setting an off-tempo jazz rhythm to every meeting.

It’s fine. I still prefer it to the speakerphone. It brings everyone in the office joy, even when it struggles. I get laughed at a lot from the iPad camera, but I like it. In a lot of ways, EmBot is a joke we are all in on together. Could we just set up an iPad in the conference room with FaceTime or Skype and achieve essentially the same thing? Sure. But where would be the fun in that, people? Where would be the soul-searching? Human life is short, and being a part-time, part-useful robot makes it ever so slightly more interesting.

Diary: Who Knows What Day, I’ve Lost Count

Joe carried EmBot to the head of the conference table for the edit meeting, because her Bluetooth connection isn’t working properly so I can’t control it. Sam asked, somewhere off-screen where I couldn’t see her, “Em, did you get new glasses?”

“No,” I spoke to the rest of the room, “my jerk cat knocked my glasses off the bedside table and I’m far too pregnant to crouch down low enough to get them, so I dug these out of a closet.”

“And that story,” someone from behind the robot said, “is the best argument in favor of having a robot. We would not have gotten to hear that if you were on the speakerphone.”

So, yes, as it turned out, most of the fears I had about becoming a part-time robot came true—it’s an unruly distraction that often makes me look ridiculous, that falls over and can’t be counted on—and yet my coworkers didn’t lose all respect for me. No, what happened was much more subtle and unexpected than that: EmBot lost her humanity. But I gained mine back.

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from My Life as a Robot