#this post def goes from 1 to 100000

[literaphobe]

What's your most chaotic interaction from tumblr? Like rate dumb things that has happened or something jkshceks

oh my god get ready because this took me looking through my asks back until early 2017. i got whiplash reliving some of these. narrowed many moments down to the best ones. behold some of my most chaotic/dumb interactions on tumblr, from most recent to least:

‘not to be an asshole but could you stop making content’ incredible. came for my entire life. for $8,000 i will stop. 8/10

‘why can’t adora be white? :( don’t us white lesbians deserve representation too? :(’ i wanted to die when i got this ask. i still am in disbelief over the fact that this happened. 9/10

‘read your fic - you’re gay’ yeah i got clocked for being gay. what the fuck :( exposed :( 7/10

‘can you flirt in the dms i’m too single for this shit’ getting scolded by anons for allegedly flirting.... yeah call me out! 7/10

‘i have reported you to the secret service for talking about assassinating trump btw’ was anon messing w me? did they want me to be scared? who knows. im not even american. 6.5/10

‘fyi i took a screenshot of one of your posts. ten minutes later my house burnt down so now a screenshot of your post is next to pictures of my house in flames’ 9.5/10. it was definitely my fault. im so sorry i caused your house to burn anon i take full responsibility. u didn’t even blame me for the fire but u should have 

‘how dare u say straights aren’t allowed in the b99 fandom. its 2019 fandoms should be inclusive and welcoming of people regardless of their sexuality????’ 9/10. still cannot believe till this day that i was accused of oppressing the straights 

‘jake is straight you can die mad about it 😘‘ 9/10. amazing. love it when straight people send me death threats for headcanoning characters as bi

 ‘how do you pronounce your name i’ve been saying it as mice hell’ 9.5/10. absolutely incredible that anon thought my incredibly common name michelle was pronounced like this

‘An hour or two? LOL NO. I browse tumblr barely for 15-20 minutes. Of which I have exactly 90 seconds to go through your blog and read dcau chapter if there are responses of new one. Which I do in hardly 45 seconds. So, I actually just skim through the chapter and absorb more than others who read it like twice/thrice. Also, I am writing this long ass ask because my girlfriend is making me wait in my car and wasting our precious time we'd be spending on our date instead. YIKES.’ 9.5/10. ok for context. i uploaded a 15k chapter for a fic and in the tags i told people to be prepared because the chapter might take them like an hour or two to read. and this anon was pissed off that i would dare assume they would take such a long time to read my fic. also they had to tell me why they took the time to send me that ask in the first place. it is so fucking funny

‘Fuck can't wait. You told Monday, now you're telling Tuesday tommorow you'll say Wednesday? Bitch.😠‘ 7/10 i told people i would post my fic on monday but then i delayed it and this anon called me a bitch. this ask is hilarious 

‘Not just to Andy but also every other stranger. Nobody should let you near them if they are uncomfortable. You are bisexual that means everyone should know that you are an equal Potential Threat to all females with all the harassing going on. Being bisexual has its own advantages and disadvantages. You too fall into the category of creepy males creeppin out other females.‘ 8.5/10. i said ‘i want to hug andy samberg’ once and anon decided i was a predator. like yes this is so biphobic but also the way they treated me like a dangerous threat for wanting to hug a celebrity is so funny

‘i just got home from getting kidnapped for 5 days (lol long story) but seeing that you updated your fic definitely helped!’ 10/10. probably the most iconic ask i have ever gotten. also anon was serious and came back in a second ask to explain a little bit more about what happened. i hope they are living a safe happy life now 

‘not to burst your fandom bubble but my child’s middle name was in honor of my father not b99′ remember when chelsea peretti roasted me for making an inaccurate joke about how the middle name of hers and jordan peele’s child was ‘gino’ because it was like the boy version of gina? remember how she slapped me in the face and i completely deserved it for making a stupid joke? my shitposts have definitely been the death of me. will i stop? no. 10/10

‘cocaine girl do not die in that earthquake’ okay so. cocaine girl was one of the funniest commenters i have ever had the pleasure of knowing on my most popular fic. one day in her comment she said ‘there’s an earthquake happening rn hope i don’t die sskksksks’ and then she vanished. she didn’t comment for several chapters. i was super fucking worried you guys i thought she died or didn’t like my fic anymore. according to my memory she came back like weeks later in my comment section like ‘lmao yeah something hit my head during the earthquake and i was in the hospital for five days im ok now tho’ 10/10