#this scrutiny absolutely applies to me as well btw

[khizuo]

the day when mcyt fans stop pretending that being marginalized for being a woman/queer/disabled on the internet is the same as being marginalized for race is the day I will find peace.

this is not to say that we should stop discussing internet misogyny or queer and disabled marginalization at all. we should be discussing it constantly and calling it out and trying to make a more welcoming space for women and queer and disabled people in the community. however, I never see mcyt fans extend that same consideration to cc's who are marginalized due to their race, especially black and brown cc's, and I'm honestly kind of tired of it.

and the fact is that internet racism and algorithmic colorism is a huge fucking issue that mcyt fans feel happy to ignore because "oh look I watch a bi woman streamer! my content intake is diverse!" and yes watching women and queer and neurodivergent people in the mcyt community is absolutely better than only watching a neurotypical straight white men all the time, but that does not excuse the community from scrutiny if all the most popular queer women streamers also... happen to be white.

I also see this happen a lot where fans will jump to the defense of neurodivergent streamers by using the marginalization that comes from their neurodivergence as a shield. newsflash: your white male cc having adhd does not make them just as or more marginalized than poc, especially neurodivergent/disabled poc, and thus it feels a little... :// when people constantly try to use their adhd as a shield when these white male cc's get into controversies. (as a person who is not neurodivergent as far as I know, I welcome people who are neurodivergent to make this point of mine better! please tell me if I am being insensitive.)

again, this is not to say that we should ignore ableism in the community and stop trying to make disabled and neurodivergent people feel comfortable as cc's and fans; or that we should demonize neurodivergent behaviors which the cc's exhibit. it's really fucking important to make the community as safe as possible for neurodivergent and disabled people. it's just that again, that same consciousness of marginalization should be extended to people of color in the community. we should be trying just as hard to make poc, especially black and brown people, feel welcomed in the community. and that isn't happening.

the fact is that white supremacy and white privilege are the foundation of the shitty modern world as we know it, including internet communities. the mcyt community is not exempt from this conversation just because it's more welcoming of queer and disabled people. in fact, it's extremely important to have this conversation in the context of intersectionality — how marginalization and oppression works at the intersections of race, queerness, womanhood, and disability. and those conversations aren't really happening rn.

so basically: please let's make mcyt less white.

disclaimer: I am a queer, mentally ill Asian person. I am not neurodivergent as far as I know, although I suspect I may be. If I have said anything here that is insensitive or harmful to a community, especially a community I am not a part of, please let me know and I will edit my mistake and take accountability immediately.

[fairyroses]

please share the thoughts!

(For those not in the know, this is referring to my Thoughts about the way Nura’s name was dropped in the most recent SG episode.)

Okay, so I wrote out a ridiculously long and kinda confusing explanation the first time I tried to answer this, so I’m gonna try to Condense it this time. (Edit from future me, who just finished writing this whole long-ass meta: Sooo, condensing it Didn’t Really Work, and it’s obnoxiously long anyway. Oops. Oh well. At least it’s more coherent this time.) 

(general warning for people reading this post who aren’t rachel: uhhh, maybe don’t look below the cut if you’re a big Brainy/Nia shipper? there’s no Hate, but there is a lot of theorizing about why I don’t think the ship’s actually gonna sail the way most ppl are thinking it will, sooo if you don’t want to feel bummed out, then maybe don’t read this. cool? cool.) 

(also I fully acknowledge that all of this is Pure Speculation, aided by some ridiculously intense scrutiny of a tv show, and thus not an exact science, and completely likely to be wrong. but man, would I love to be right.)

So first, I’m just gonna talk about the existence of the namedrop in general. So, before that moment, we had no idea how important Nura would actually be to Nia’s story. The writers could’ve chosen to not even name her at all, and could’ve just left the reveal as something more general, like “Brainy knows something about Nia in the 31st century, but can’t say what because of Space-Time Continuum stuff.” But they didn’t - instead, they created a Very Specific secret that Brainy is now keeping from everyone. 

This is absolutely a deliberate choice made by the writers. They already have Nia as a Nura-like character. They didn’t have to namedrop the actual Nura if they didn’t want to. They didn’t have to create that specific problem (the problem being that Brainy apparently knows Nia’s descendent really well). But they did anyway.

Additionally, the fact that they didn’t have a follow-up scene later in the episode where Brainy explains who Nura is means that all of this WILL come back up eventually. They won’t just leave that thread hanging. So, an important question to ask now is: What Big Thing is gonna happen between Brainy and Nia that forces Brainy to finally spill the beans about who Nura is? 

My personal guess? Nia gets the wrong idea about their relationship, and either kisses Brainy or tries to kiss him, and he panics and blurts out that they can’t do that because he knows her descendent, so being with Nia either feels weird to him, or he’s worried about screwing up the timeline and potentially Marty McFly-ing Nura out of existence. Of course, in telling this to Nia, he’d have to explain who Nura is to both her and the audience.

(Wishful thinking? Maybe. Kind of a cruel bait-and-switch for the writers to pull on shippers? Yeah, I’d say so. But it’s not that different from what they did with Kara and Mon-El last season, and I actually think it’s a VERY plausible ending for Brainy/Nia, sooo…) 

The Reveal™ could happen any number of ways, though, and I realize that. This one just seems like the most CW-style one lmao.

Okay, now I’m gonna analyze the Actual Namedrop Scene, because I can’t stop myself from theorizing and Tinfoil-Hatting™ about Brainy and Nura’s potential relationship in the 31st century.

First, I wanna talk about how intimately familiar Brainy is with Nia’s powers, and how they work. 

He obviously knows these things because of how often he’s worked with Nura in the past - tbh, he and Nura probably discovered these techniques while working together to help her figure her powers out. So, Brainy doesn’t have to do any kind of trial-and-error process with Nia here, because he’s already gone through all that with Nura. This is his second go-around with all of this. 

The concept of Brainy and Nura as a Dream Interpreting Duo is further solidified by this line:

Without Nia even really asking him to, Brainy automatically assigns himself the role of her Personal Dream Interpreter, which again tells me that this is probably the exact kind of relationship that he has/had with Nura. He’s recreating his interactions with Nura without really realizing it (yet). 

Note his body language throughout this scene. It’s not clinical or distant, which would imply that his dynamic with Nura was an impersonal one driven by duty or scientific curiosity - rather, it’s very personal, and intimate, and even Soft in a way that we’ve never really seen Brainy behave with anyone before. 

(Brainy/Nia shippers are, of course, going to interpret this behavior as evidence for their own ship, but IMO it’s actually much stronger evidence towards a (former) Brainy/Nura romance, more than anything else.)

Whether or not there’s a romantic angle, though, Brainy and Nura are still clearly very close. I’d say that’s pretty undeniable at this point.

This is Brainy’s face right as he calls Nia by Nura’s name, btw:

(So frickin’ cute, oh my gooood. This is one of the biggest things that makes me question if his relationship with Nura might’ve been romantic at some point, because LOOK at this! Look at his FACE!) 

Aaaand this is his face once he realizes that he Fucked Up™:

It isn’t even an ‘oh shit!’ reaction. He doesn’t blink or look startled. He just immediately and completely walls himself off. Because that Softness that he accidentally showed here? That smile, the Sparkly Eyes? Those were his feelings about Nura, getting tangled up in his conversation with Nia. Those words that he said to Nia? Are ones that he’s undoubtably said to Nura before. 

That’s why the slip-up happened in the first place. He was talking to Nia, but due to the familiarity and intimacy of the moment, he was thinking about Nura. 

Now I’m gonna talk about Tropes. Because I LOVE tropes. And as soon as the namedrop happened the way it did - in the middle of an emotionally vulnerable moment - my mind instantly went to the Wrong Name Outburst trope:

(these screenshots are courtesy of TVTropes, obvs. highlights are courtesy of me.) 

So like, Brainy saying Nura’s name when he did isn’t as bad as, say, him blurting it out in the middle of sex (lmao can you imagine), but it’s still not a good sign for Brainy/Nia, as far as I’m concerned. It’s never a good sign when a dude calls his supposed Love Interest by the wrong name after knowing her for a while. It just isn’t. 

(It’s different if the Wrong Name Outburst had been a mistake from the first time they met - that’s a different version of the trope. Like, if Brainy had called Nia “Nura” outside of the pizzeria, then that’s an understandable case of Mistaken Identity. But to call her that when he already knows full-well who she is? Yikes lol, that’s a BIG romance no-no.)  

Anyway, speaking of the pizzeria, if you click on the “You Remind Me of X” trope link, you can then scroll down to find this section: 

The Flashback Echo mentioned here definitely applies to the pizzeria scene, right down to Brainy’s “Do I know you?” moment of startled recognition. If we’re following the logic of the trope, then it’s not a far stretch to assume that Brainy’s connection to Nura might’ve been romantic, most likely a “failed romance” (since I doubt Nura is dead). 

Of course, Nura could also just be a really good friend, and maybe that would be enough to trigger the same reaction from Brainy…but there’s no way of knowing for sure until he lets the audience in on his secret. I’m really, really curious about what explanation they’ll go with, though. Personally, I hope it’s romance. But maybe that’s just me.

And now, finally, an add-on (because I can’t figure out where else to put it). Why do I think that Nura would specifically be a former love interest for Brainy, if she’s going to be one at all? Well, for two reasons:

1) They already pulled a Surprise Wife/Girlfriend trope with Mon-El and Imra last season, and IMO that’s a unique enough story beat that they wouldn’t want to use it again with Brainy and Nura, lest they risk the show becoming weirdly repetitive. 

2) Revealing that Nura is Brainy’s Amicable Ex (meaning: they’re still good friends even though they’re not Together anymore) would be a good way to pay homage to the Brainy/Dream Girl relationship from the comics and give a definitive reason why Brainy/Nia can’t happen, while still leaving the door open for the writers to potentially explore…uhh, certain other ships next season. *COUGH* You know…potentially. 

Thus my assumption that, on the off chance that they DO make Brainy/Nura romantic, it’ll be something in the past, that’s now over and done with. 

(NOTE: The Brainy/Nura romance angle is really just a Pet Theory that I’ve grown particularly fond of over the past few days. Like…if I’m being Realistic, I think it’s much more likely that Brainy’s never been in a romantic relationship before in canon, given how little he seems to know about relationships and social cues in general. So, Nura will probably just be a close friend. But I think most of the stuff I talked about can still totally apply even with them just being close friends.)

Aaand…that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. 

P.S. Like I said at the beginning of this post, this is all just Pure Speculation and Tinfoil-Hatting and I’m aware of that. I mean really, who tf knows what’s actually going to happen on this show? Def not me lol. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So please don’t come for me if you have a different opinion lakjsdfkjd 

[surflove808]

RE:  Cockles, Bi!Bros, J2M, J2 over-the-top shipping bullshit.  Please read this.  Here goes....part 2.

UPDATED 10/10/2017 for clarity and stuff.  More examples, less whiskey.  Same potty language. 

I've seen too much bullshit misinformation and conjecture out there and I can't stay silent anymore.  So... here's the promised Part 2 of my ridiculously long rant.  Again, I'm asking that whoever reads this, really reads the whole thing, and if you agree...please reblog.  Because this "issue" affects a lot more people than just these guys.  And I know it's long, but if it starts a discussion on how to treat people better and pave the way for acceptance without fear, as well as for how internet witch hunts are NOT ok, I'm hoping we're ALL for it.

Here we we go!

This statement applies to both the actors in this show, and the characters they portray:  I think we can all agree that these men are otherworldly handsome.  And I think that some of us can agree that reading fan fiction (particularly smut, in my case), is very enjoyable. I love the smut!  I'm not here to disabuse you of the notion that seeing these guys together, apart, with you, with me, with a fucking doughnut...sexually... would be seriously hot.   I'm not here to bash fan fiction.  I'm not here to poop on your fantasies or freedom of speech, either.  But I AM asking for more social responsibility.

I am also here to shut down the mentality that we own these characters and these individuals, and that it's ok to take our fantasies (because that's what they are), and try to force feed them to the general public, and even the actors and their families (some of you no-boundary having, people) as if it's ok for our uninformed opinions about the private lives of these men to be twisted and regurgitated to reflect our own desires for them, especially in a public forum.

I'm here to inject some realism.  Via real experiences.  And actual analysis that's thought-out, and based in objective reality.  If you choose to ignore that, and carry on with your fantasy in a way that's harmful?  I can't stop you.  I'm just here to provide a counterpoint and hope that it takes hold with even 1 person, and maybe that person can tell someone else...and maybe apply reverse osmosis with some of this toxic mentality that it’s “ok if you don’t actually know them”.

*Minor, basic, psychology warning*:  Repressed individuals, for example (by example, I mean this is one instance that I'm using) who are uncomfortable with their own sexuality, and are not yet ready to address/express it, have a tendency to avoid circumstances, conversations and actions that may threaten to shatter a carefully constructed facade.  They will go to great lengths to cover-up or act against any instinct that might "out" them.*  

And by repressed individuals?  That doesn't mean GAY individuals exclusively.  That means ANYONE who feels repressed by the "norms" inflicted by their family, their friends, their classmates, their upbringing, etc. But, I just don't see that with these guys. At all.  They're as comfortable with each other as you'd expect long-time collaborators and friends would be... and that should be awesome.  It should be ok.  But for some fans, it's become their job to attempt to force these actors into roles that they've written FOR them.  And that's fucked up.

What sucks is when, much like their onscreen counterparts, these guys can't express affection, support, physical closeness, have dinner together, laugh at the same dirty jokes, defend each other, etc.... without being put under a frigging microscope and dissected.  It breaks my heart a little bit when I start to see them pulling back and being more inhibited and defensive as a result of this BS.  Being a public figure invites a whole new level of scrutiny, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...some of the shit I've seen "fans" say about these guys.

And when the occasional rebel of a "fan" ignores the very limited number of things that can't be asked about anymore (**see dickheads**) at conventions, let's be honest - they are, in fact, being dickheads.  They KNOW what they're doing.  This isn't a press conference with Trump.  This is supposed to be a safe place for the actors and fans to interact about the show.  And yet.... when the occasional someone posits the very old and very, definitively answered question about Destiel - and Jensen in particular - shoots it down or tries to avoid it (and only twice that I've seen.  And very politely), suddenly, he's a homophobic asshole.  He's ALSO gay, BTW.  He just doesn't know it yet... (for those of you who take everything literally, that was sarcasm)

I'll tell you what.  He's a helluva lot nicer than I would ever be.  I'd tell the pushy shitheads that insisted on asking the same fucking DELIBERATELY INFLAMMATORY question that had already been answered, to go fuck themselves.  But Jensen hasn't done that.  Because I guess he's just a more patient person than me.  

He has been inhabiting this character for 12 years, and living with himself for much longer.  Despite that, maybe you DO know his character better than him.  Maybe YOU know him better than he knows himself.  Highly unlikely though.

The way I see it, if faced with seeing my life’s work (actor, husband, friend, father) negated and torn apart for the benefit of a few snarky gifsets, and being ambushed by inappropriate questions, after  dedicating so much of my time and energy and love towards it, I’d be pretty fucking bummed.  It'd be incredibly offensive to have someone tell me I wasn't who I said I was or not doing what I said I was doing.  Over and over and over.

 "YOU say Dean's hetero and there's no Destiel.  The writers say it.  But you're WRONG. Because reasons..."  "YOU may THINK you're fooling us with your marriage and kids, but WE know better!"  What.  The.  Fuck.  Is that all about, people??  If you're doing this, approving of this, liking posts about this?  I'm sorry to be the one to tell you... it's not cute.  It's damaging.  it's disrespectful, and you're that asshole.

I hate seeing anyone put in a position that makes them question how to go about policing their own behavior, their own truth and their own perception with regards to their **REAL** interpersonal relationships, based on the very legitimate fear that certain people won't give a second thought to making not only their life, but the lives of their families - a mockery.

For those of you who have had people snickering behind your backs or spreading gossip about you - it wasn't pleasant was it?  In WHAT situation is it ok to take your unproven hypothesis, and use it to shame, "out", poke fun at, fetishize, or attempt to force feed your theories to the world-at-large in public forums about anyone's private lives?  I really want to know. What makes this ok?

EXAMPLE TIME (using a few common examples I've seen time and time again, that people use to justify the shit that comes out of their mouths or fingertips):

1.  The male cast and their butt swatting and dick grabbing pranks that make certain, excitable people jump to conclusions: This may be just my experience, but still:  I'm a woman, and I know that my gay male friends and straight lady friends think it's not only ok, but a hoot to grab each others nethers,  brazenly flirt, and share explicit sexual info like it's NBD, primarily because we are 100% uninterested in each other, physically.  There is no perceived threat, either way, between us friends.  And no fear of rejection.  We don't view each other as potential mates.  Therefore, we're a bit more "free" with each other.

A lot of my straight guy friends that are comfortable in their own masculinity (I hate that I even have to say that), have no hang ups about swatting each other on the butt, grabbing each others dicks, performing "cup checks", etc.  *Also, see football.*  I don't know why this is a thing that they do, and I don't judge them for it.  In my observations, it's just a thing a fair amount of guys do, that they consider to be an "acceptable" display of affection among friends.  They seem to find it amusing, and frankly - it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS.  So, there's that.  Most men, (that I've known, at least), will never not be fascinated with their own junk, not to mention dicks, balls, asses and boobs in general.  I've also seen them be quite tender with, and observant of over one another when a situation arises.  You know?  Like a normal human response to someone they care about who may need some support??

And if a couple of dude friends want to act like they're 5 years old with each other, well into adulthood...I think it's rather charming, and hilarious, if I'm being honest.  I may not date men, but I absolutely adore them!  And I sure as fuck don't want to see the baby steps that they are able to take away from toxic masculinity (to quote a lovely DM I got earlier), turned against them by people who think it's ok to project their own crap on them.

2.  Sharing clothes: Again, just speaking from years of experience, and not claiming to know these guys or their reasons for (what, on 3-4 occasions, being seen with the same shirt?)... It's not just Jensen and Misha that do this, IF in fact, they do it at all.  A lot of us do this.  And if they do?  It's not a big deal, people.

I share clothes with friends for convenience and comedy's sake, quite a bit.  I own a bright orange hoodie that has been borrowed by so many friends that it's got it's own traveling backstory.   I've borrowed pants, shoes, tops, etc. on occasion, based on my immediate needs,  and vice-versa.  Especially when traveling.  Saves hassle and space to share a wardrobe, when possible.  But then, maybe Jared, Jensen and Misha do it because they are clearly boning the shit out of each other in secret.  And they're MEN.  And men can't do that without some deeper meaning ascribed to it, apparently.

**Side note:  2 weeks ago, a guy friend of mine came straight from his construction job to a bbq at my house and asked to take a shower.  But he didn't have any clean clothes of his own to change into.  As a joke - I offered him my frilliest, silkiest top.  And he LOVED it!  Wore it all night and then wore it home. Got it back, freshly laundered last week. His girlfriend (one of my best friends), especially got a kick out of it!  Lots of pics were taken and laughs were had.  But none of us even considered that this was something worth ruminating over.  It was Just. Funny.**  

Good grief...If I were subjected to the same scrutiny that these actors are, based on wardrobe swaps alone, I'd be covertly fucking or wanting to fuck 75% of my friends.  And folks, that's just not accurate.  And no, I'm not fucking the other 25%, we're just not sharing clothes.  :D

3.  Perceived jealousy: Yes, some lovers get jealous.  You know who else does?  Friends, co-workers, siblings... Does the occasional side glance from one of these men merit dissection and exposition?  Do we really have the prescient knowledge that enables us to know what these men are thinking and feeling with every glance, every movement?  I'm only asking because certain individuals seem to think that these miniscule moments are more meaningful when they can be attributed to these guys.  What makes these guys so damn special?  Sorry.... maybe I'm just jealous.  Feel free to speculate.  I really wanna know.

4.  "Longing looks", "sexy eyes", "the romantic gaze":

I'm going to tell you what I see with my own eyes, without the benefit of slowed-down gifs, conjecture, or the Cosmo Guide to Body Language and Crushes....or whatever the hell is informing opinions out there.

I'm going to focus on Jensen here because he seems to be the lynchpin that holds this whole sordid affair together.  In addition to him "eye-fucking/loving" Jared and Misha, have you also noticed the way he "gazes" at and how affectionate he is with Rob, Billy, Jim Beaver, and JDM?  If you have, you may have noticed that he has a very open, expressive face and big, gorgeous eyes.  And he seems, by all accounts, to be a very affectionate dude.  And to his credit,  despite our best efforts to call attention to every single fucking thing he does, he continues to try to be himself.  

And when he's paying attention to someone when they're speaking or performing (which is kind of a normal, respectful thing to do, as opposed to looking in boredom at the ceiling or the floor).... he seems to be 100% in the moment.  Unless he's competing to tell a story.  :D  Again...just using my eyes to observe.

He's especially oooey gooey with Rob.  Why hasn't he been linked with Rob in a torrid, secret affair?  Is Rob too short?  Not cute enough?  I wanna get to the bottom of this.  What?  Is Rob chopped liver or something??

Folks, I do the same thing.  A LOT of people do. Anyone who focuses on whoever is in front of them or next to them, really.  Or am I in the minority, in that I'm capable of holding eye contact with, and paying attention to people that I'm not attracted to when they're speaking?  If so, ya'll are some shallow fuckers.  Wait!!  Have I been eye-fucking people all along??  That would explain a lot, actually.

One buddy of mine in particular, has these big, gorgeous brown eyes and he gets this look when he's listening to people, and he looks like he's in love.  He's not.  IT'S JUST HIS FUCKING FACE.  Poor guy has gotten in some hot water over that with a few hopeful, clueless ladies thinking he was *into it* when he wasn't.

Well, you may say... WHY does Jensen always gaze that way at Jared and Misha??  (First of all - see above), but I have a theory:  Have you ever seen him do panels with anyone else?  Who are the three main characters of this show?  Who does he share all of his public appearances with, when he's not solo?  He spends the lions share of his time working on and promoting Supernatural.  Is Danneel in Supernatural?  No...she's not.  When they DO have precious little private time together, are they sitting in panels and being videotaped before a live studio audience, so that we can analyze their chemistry?  Again...NO.

I don't know what their marriage is like.  I'm gonna do the thing where I take their happiness and love at face value.  Because it's none of my damn business.  I believe what they've said and presented as a couple, because why wouldn't I?  The better question is... why wouldn't you??  What's your motivation?

Misha affection:

Misha is a bad ass.  Misha has been supported and enabled to evolve (again - going off what he's SAID in panels) Misha is not afraid of what people are gonna say about him when he wears a dress, or fakes an orgasm onstage with Jensen, kisses Jensen on the cheek, etc.   And anything that he does to convert prejudice and fear into understanding, is A-OK by me.  You can be masculine, and straight and still be open to exploration, still retain softness, and allow yourself to have your fingernails painted onstage without fear of repercussions from the peanut gallery, if you are allowed to get to that space, without people fucking with you.  I could speculate on how Jensens friendship with someone like Misha might have made it more tolerable for him to handle all the bullshit that comes his way via unfounded speculation about his sexuality, but then, I wouldn't be sticking with simple observations based on what I hear from their mouths and what I see with my eyes.  I know, it can be hard....BUT IT'S POSSIBLE, PEOPLE.

Grooming:

There's a reason why our behavior correlates to the fact that we share 99% of our DNA with chimpanzees (*also, see above for obsessing over our own genitalia*).  I've had frigging strangers reach over and pull lint off of me.  I had a guy on a busy NYC street try to pull a mole off my neck once, because he thought it was a tick.  I don't know what else to say.  From their own mouths, these guys have said it's a learned behavior from over a decade of checking each other before cameras roll.  But if you think it means that they're in love... well.  Ok, I guess.

"Checking in":

Again, I'm assuming and hoping all of us have at least one friend or family member that we're close to and care very much about, especially if they are, or have been, at risk.  If you think that this person is approaching an emotional cliff  (or any other kind of cliff for that matter), would you let them fall off, or would you let them know that you were there?  Via a song, a look, a call, a touch, a word, a pat on the back, etc?  

Or is that just a gay thing?

Conclusion:

These guys don't have to give a shit about the fans, but they go above and beyond.  They're as invested in their characters as we are.  MORE so, and rightly so.  And they're dedicated and invested in their fans in a way that I've never seen before.  And just going off written and verbal accounts that I'm sure you all have been privy to as well, these particular actors go to bat for vulnerable people and at-risk people, both personally, in situations that don't involve PR, as well as outreach through their respective campaigns.  So, I respect them very much as creative entities and as people.  I think most of us do. And I'm fucking going to bat for THEM.   For those who don't, well... here's to hoping that changes.  Or that your focus does. I am guessing the average age (intellectually/emotionally/or physically) of the people who read way too much into every gesture between these actors, and FREAK OUT...is pretty young.  And I'm not saying that's a bad thing (being young, that is), but I AM saying the constant badgering of, and attempted *outing* of anyone is pretty abhorrent behavior, regardless of your maturity level.  

Again, your words matter.  They affect lives.  They affect perception.  These aren't just your private thoughts and fantasies anymore when you're making public statements on a worldwide forum/social network, and taking things way out of context to back up your ill-informed theories about people you don't even know.  And by "affect lives", I mean that these public figures have developed a thick enough skin and enough sense to largely ignore the bullshit, but they are still human beings and deserving of our respect, no?  

And by “affect lives”, I think as a society, we have a responsibility to the young men and women coming up in this world who still see -  via these kinds of posts - that despite years of slow progress, their slightest actions can still be dissected and analyzed and gossiped about, with regards to their sexuality in particular.  I think that people who like to post real accusations about real people, based on their skewed perception of these peoples interactions, in the "interest" of supporting actual LGBTQ people, are causing FAR more harm than good.

It can be destructive.  And it can be limiting to intellectual and emotional growth, at large.  And you're kidding yourselves if you think you're being "cute" and that it's harmless to ship real people to the point of harassment on a public forum.  All you're accomplishing, is showing current and future generations of kids that if they don't stick with your definition of heteronormative behavior, that you'll do the outing for them via social media. I wish certain individuals were a bit more responsible with their online musings when it comes to real people who have real families and real children who will probably stumble upon this content one day... and try to be a bit more empathetic in general.  Get out from in front of your screens and look around you and ask yourself:  How would I feel if someone posted this kind of shit about my sister?  My Mom?  My Dad?  My GF/BF/best friend without their consent??

Or is spreading malicious gossip only ok when you're not directly affected?

I'm just hoping that the people who fuck with these guys wives and make vids and publicly try to sexualize their friendships on Tumblr and elsewhere, are too young to know better.  Here's to hoping they learn better, going forward.

If you are doing this?   It's never too late to learn how to be a better human.  Find a way to indulge your theories without harassing these very decent men, and well... anyone, right??  If these guys DO in fact have any "secrets"?  They're entitled to keep them.  But the likely reality?  They're living their lives truthfully, in the face of the shitty online perpetuation of rumors, and giving us all a lesson in what it means to behave graciously under pressure and move on with kindness, when they could just as easily shut down convention filming as well as fan interaction.  Appreciate that.  And appreciate each others right to live without shame, scrutiny or unfounded speculation.

And if I missed some tags?  Please, let me know.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ A brief recap for those who couldn't glean this info from the body of this open letter:

I am not anti-LGBTQ, anti-Cockles, anti-J2M, anti-J2, anti-shippers.

I AM anti-harassment

And I AM anti-slanderous gossip in any form.

*******That being said*******

I am pro SPN actor, pro human, pro fandom, pro positivity

I am also pro education with regards to acceptance and tolerance, and just....basically, leaving people the fuck alone.  Especially when you do not know them.