#though we do need to just cast more fucking voice actors ffs

[lastoneout]

Actors who are used to doing live action work aren’t incapable of doing good voice work and they never have been, it’s just that voice acting requires additional skills that they probably haven’t learned or had time to practice. The real issue comes when that live action actor has to decide if they are going to try to learn those skills and give a good voice performance OR if they’re just going to cash a paycheck, and so far it’s very fucking clear which actors in the Mario movie are trying to give a good voice performance and which ONE is just cashing a paycheck.

[neoyi]

Continuing on from the last play session, this one covers Disney Castle/Timeless River, Port Royal, Agrabah, and Sora’s second return to Twilight Town.

*I’m fairly indifferent with Demyx, but I get why he was a fan favorite back in the days. He’s got personality: cowardly, lazy, and apathetic, Demyx probably mooches off the rest of the Organization XIII’s sweet pad, playing his sitar and doing weed, and never paying rent.

*Mickey Mouse Club was a horrifying choice to use as Disney Castle’s primary background music, it’s almost insidiously catchy.

*I love how little you actually need to fight within Disney Castle because Minnie’s holy powers mean she can fuck up a Heartless’ day anytime.

*Yeesh, I don’t miss Daisy’s portrayal as a Nagging Girlfriend at all, it's such a garbage characteristic. She’s so unreasonable here that it borders on parody.

*I feel like the writers had to squeeze in a small “We can’t mess with the timeflow here” in order to leave Timeless River as is. Er, was? Which, fine, time travel is a finicky thing, but it's especially a safety net because it prevents Sora and friends from trying to redeem Pete.

Like I think this is the only section in the game where we get any kind of sympathy for Pete, being so miserable working for Maleficent and longing for days gone by as a former sea captain. Sora and pals had no issue working with Past Pete to stop Current Pete, so one would think in another situation, they'd convince his retro self to stick with boats instead of any grand ambition of evil. It wouldn't be the first time Sora gave a shit about rules if it meant helping the greater good, but I guess he made an exception here or something.

*I'm also amused by Timeless River because the time traveling here is so innocuous and confined to this particular Disney World. I've heard the main plot in later games goes balls-off-the-walls apeshit with the time traveling in comparison and oh boy, I can’t wait till I get to those!

*I could see Disney telling Square Enix why Pirates of the Caribbean had to follow the movie’s plot beat-for-beat during game development, what with being the hottest shit at the time of the game’s release, but it means a hell of a lot more cutscenes than any of the previous Disney Worlds I’ve been in and the experience is poorer for it.

The Disney Worlds work best when they aren’t adapting its respective movie almost scene-by-scene, but utilizing their chief characters and setting that integrate with the bigger narrative while being self-contained (dear god, Kingdom Hearts is basically Disney Extended Universe.)

It’s stifling even for a game studio like Square-Enix and their notorious love affair with cinematic cutscenes, and an example of what happens when the game is restricted to playing an abridged version of its respective film.

*I will never understand why they censored the guns the pirates were holding. I get the characters are realistically designed and thus, might evoke a more visceral image of Characters Shooting Pistols In A Fictional Game For An All-Age Audience, but like Clayton from the first KH had a gun. Were they really concerned that Sora would get hurt from a bullet wound when they had no problem with Clayton shooting him in the face just because he looked more like a cartoon?

This problem also plagues Xigbar even though his guns are much more fanciful in design.

*My god, the models for the PoTC cast is still strikingly good even now. Square Enix had made a reputation as a studio that blew you away with incredible graphics that no one else was able to capture at the time. A lot of game companies has since caught up, but back then, they were on another level.

*Speaking of horrendous Disney executive meddling, this game also has the Chicken Little summon, a character who otherwise likely would never have appeared in the games because nobody goddamn loved that movie. Presumably, the little bastard got in because that was the latest Disney Animated Canon that was to arrive by the time KHII came out.

And man, Chicken Little is a wretched, wretched film.

*Bless James Arnold Taylor, he is a fine voice actor and he really tries, but he can’t capture Jack Sparrow.

*I was shocked the first time when they decided to adapt Return of Jafar. I assumed Disney sequels didn’t “count”, but lo and behold, there’s the Iago redemption arc.

*Kairi is only marginally better here than in KH1 by a significantly low bar. About roughly the halfway point of the game, she gets sick of waiting and when the first opportunity strikes, she decides fuck it, she’s gonna find Sora and Riku by herself. ...Then she promptly gets kidnapped by Axel minutes later. I mean, she tried.

*Pluto’s ability to just end up any goddamn place he wants with no rhyme or reason is the funniest reoccurring thing in the series. I love how he’s the first character to end up in the World That Never Was even though he’s just a dang dog.

*Kingdom Hearts is a game that you have to take at face value, otherwise questions start rising about the nature of an anime boy traveling with a sentient dog man and a disgruntled duck with no one in any world finding this strange.

Twilight Town is such a sleepy, ordinary town with local urban myths the closest to anything weird happening that in any other situation, would probably wonder just what is up with that kid, Sora, and his doofy traveling companions.

“hey guys are you also seeing a dark, magical floating portal with an axe symbol or is it just me?”

*The way Seifer just shoved the Struggle trophy into Sora’s (well, Goofy’s when Sora refused it) hands after the trio saved him and his friends from the Nobodies feels like a comical tsundere gesture (”J-Just take the trophy, baka!”)

*Sora being adorable again because he just missed Kairi in Twilight Town and he cannot stop thinking about her is wholesome as all get out.

*Twilight Town is established as A Normal Town that just happens to be a hot spot for weird multidimensional hoppers. So...what the fuck is Vivi?

In FF9, he's literally a sentient creature that was created (Black Mages being separate species in Gaia than just a class), but it's clear the FF characters in the KHverse are alternate universe takes on their prime counterparts. The implication is that Vivi is and has always been a resident of Twilight Town. But is he still a Black Mage? Or is he human, but his brimmed hat is so big it covers his entire face so it only gives the illusion that his face is shadowy?

(I know, I know, this definitely falls into overthinking territory.)

[when-they-go-2low]

CS on Fallon alone, let’s go! 

((so this will be half parody and half serious rebuttal))

1:31 - CS is not good at literally everything, he’s human and has many flaws. It’s super obvious that this is not CS’s best attempt (if he drew it at all) and that it was just there as a gag for Fallon, because Fallon is all about the gags, I’m insecure though and hope it is his best attempt because would make me feel better about myself

2:40 - When CS sees KJ’s photo come up, he continues to politely smile. CS has been informed ahead of time what he will be discussing with Fallon, as anyone who does an late night interview is, and is aware of the pictures he’s going to be shown. He was smiling identically at the previous picture. But clearly KJ is all he can think about, because CS has no emotional control.

2:42 - Throughout this entire interview, Fallon does not mention Lizzy, RH, Scamhart or Lice, once, because this is a solo interview with CS. There is going to be a promo clip at the end, so over-promoting the show while it’s CS’s moment really isn’t necessary. It’s called proper interviewing. But he does bring up KJ, because he’s relevant to the story and conversation Fallon is having with CS. And yes, someone could argue that KJ is the only cast member on Camera_Duels and CS is here because S2 is starting this week, so it makes total sense to highlight another star member of the cast when applicable so fluidly in the conversation.

2:44 - Fallon asks “KJ napping?” and CS responds with “No, that’s just his normal state of being, meditative.” Fallon laughs. CS chuckles right along with him because KJ is his friend and is okay with teasing him.

3:02 - CS may be smiling, but this isn’t funny. Camera_Duels is not a joke and not for fun. ((I actually wholly agree with this and I don’t think highlighting this in this interview was polite of Fallon at all. He isn’t secret best buds with Cole, he’s a talk show host who wanted to pick a funny topic, and thought this was appropriate. I think it annoyed Cole, honestly. He clearly states it’s becoming a bigger problem, and Fallon bringing it up will only make it worse.))

3:38 - CS doesn’t get pretty flamboyant, CS is an actor and an extremely animated individual, who has grown up doing interviews and has been conditioned into entertaining a crowd since he was 5. His brother has talked about this in great length.

3:55 - CS mentions Jughead dying, and says it with the same tone as the last time he was on with his “Why are people afraid of me” line. CS has a very dark sense of humor, and after discussing Camera_duels, that’s only been played up even more.

4:04 - ((LOLOLOL WTF are you taking about? This is interview banter. Fallon doesn’t fucking expect Cole to ‘analyze his emotions’ on air. What the hell are you even looking at?))

4:27 - CS does one of his voices. CS is an entertainer on a late night talk show, it’s something he reverts to when he is performing jokes for a crowd. We have seen him do this all the time in most of his castmate’s Instastories. But it was done in a Southern accent, so clearly CS is thinking about Brokeback Mountain, and KJ.

4:43 - Fallon says that they all work really well together, and CS says “Yeah, yeah” and then looks at the ground. This indicates he’s thinking of ‘the down under’ aka Australia which is right by New Zealand. Which means him casually changing the direction of his head downwards means he was thinking of KJ. Clearly.

:50 - So, CS says his usual Disney line, but then he adds to it “if I’m being quite honest about it.” Because he never as a child envisioned himself playing a role where he would get a Motorbike and a switch blade. Stop trying to make everything about Cole’s hard childhood. Sometimes when he says things, he just means what he says FFS.

5:26 - The interview ends with him talking about Jughead because he is the actor who plays Jughead, and this is a solo interview with him.There’s no need to bring up anyone else and risk giving away a spoiler.

Anywho, that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for reading!

Cheers,

Queers-in-the-Industry’s Nightmare