#tienriu

[copperbadge]

Answers About My Faerie Godplumber

tienriu

Sam, you should definitely see if he has a business card. This is the start of your ability to say "I know a guy".

Funnily enough I did get his name and phone number mainly because while the installation and haul-away was paid through Best Buy, the electrical outlet was his own work so I had to venmo him the money. In keeping with his whole theme, the venmo payment took like twelve tries to go through. I would have paid him in mortal coin if I’d had $100 in cash lying around.

allmyfansquees

I suspect what you'll do is go and spin the court stories which will be sufficiently magical that when you return you will have white goods that will ALWAYS WORK. bargain!

Honestly, a year of storytelling which I like anyway in return for perpetually functioning appliances does seem like a bargain, as long as they don’t return me 300 years in the future or something. 

prairie-grass

Sam being taken to the Court. 'Can I take my cryptids?', The fae take one look at Dearborn and Polk, who stare back with a Particular Look and somehow manage to communicate 'If you take our Dad we won't forget your face.' The fae nod, 'Uhh yeah please do.'

Isn’t it a fae thing that they can just return you like, a day after you left? They’d be okay without me for a day or two, as long as I got to make sure their water dish was fresh before I left. 

figtreeandvine

All the fair folk want is stories, so you're golden. Just make sure the Seelie court gives you internet access and a place for Dearborn and Polk. On second thought, just ask them if they can make your apartment part of Underhill.

Oh now see this is a great suggestion, just install a doorway to the other realm in my condo. Probably raise property values too. 

voyageboots

Plot twist he's part of whatever mob you got your parents fridge from. They heard you had dishwasher issues

“The crew over in Jersey sent me. They said you needed something....handled.” 

“Yeah, it’s my dishwasher.”

“No sweat, easier than cement overshoes.” 

shirokou

VISIT FROM THE GENTRY.

I was extremely polite! You have to be polite to repairmen and powerful otherworldly spirits. 

daroos

yeah you wouldn't have gotten an outlet installed for <100$ from anybody else - good move

Certainly not without another month-long wait. I looked at rebooking at one point last week to see if I could move my installation date forward, and they were like “Hahahah no how about we move it out to December 20th?” 

goodbyeomelas

I would SAY you should put some cold iron on that thing just to be Sure, but I also think my bread machine is probably demonically possessed and I'm worried if I get it exorcised it won't work anymore, so y'know

Honestly, a good bread machine is worth the occasional wail of the damned or slightly bleeding kitchen wall. If my dishwasher is touched by the fae or possibly a portal to their realm where they will get my dishes really clean I’m okay with possibly having to trade in my firstborn. This dishwasher is that good. (Also suspiciously silent.)

weilongfu

But Sam, are you sure your supernatural installation guy's name is Earl, or was he telling you he's an earl of The Court?

We can’t be sure, but I’m not taking any chances. 

[halffizzbin]

OBVIOUSLY YES I AM INTERESTED TO KNOW THIS

[arrghigiveup]

pinetreelady replied to your photo “Me: Oh, it’s Jp class in an hour; I should at least flip through my...”

AMAZING

miss-ingno replied to your photo “Me: Oh, it’s Jp class in an hour; I should at least flip through my...”

😂😂😂

And now, the weather. Today’s forecast is: Smoggy with a chance of falling Plates 😆

tienriu replied to your photo “Me: Oh, it’s Jp class in an hour; I should at least flip through my...”

Please share, I need some of these to beat the other developer who figured out how to use smart filters and did our entire stand up with a pirate hat and an eye patch instead.

Ask and you shall receive 🤣🤣🤣: https://square-enix-games.com/en_GB/news/final-fantasy-vii-remake-zoom-backgrounds

Also, just for kicks:

https://www.pericror.com/zoom-background/lord-of-the-rings-zoom-background/

[levynite]

copperbadge said: GOD DAMMIT I WANT IT           

Me, staring at Sam while licking soft serve: It’s good shit. XD

tienriu said: okay but what does sarsi soft serve TASTE like       

well it tastes EXACTLY like Sarsi, just soft serve ice cream texture.                               

[amarguerite]

tienriu

replied to your

post

:

I found a copy of “Bridget Jones: The Edge of...

Fairly sure the Thai prison subplot was a reaction to a current running news story at the time the novel was being released column by column in the newspaper. That might be why it’s so random.

ah, I just thought it was a translation of the subplot where Anne and Lady Russell go to Bath, and Thailand with its contemporary reputation as a place to rest and relax at spas etc. was the modern translation.

[pantstomatch]

tienriu

Oh oh! Yuri On Ice --- and OMG Check Please!

Okay, YOI - they would all be scientists. NAY BOTANISTS. All of ‘em. Victor would be the darling of the Botany lab. Yuri based his masters thesis  on Victor’s work and is in AWE of him, but Victor has been keeping tabs on Yuri’s work with the man-eating plants of the milky way galaxy back at stargate command, so OBVIOUSLY he’s waiting excitedly when Yuri first beams down from the Daedalus and he takes him whole-heartedly under his wing. Wacky hijinks ensue, where-in everyone but Yuri thinks they’re dating. Nobody’s on away teams except Yurio and Otabek, and Yurio likes to burn off a lot of his anger at how adorable everyone thinks Yuri is at the shooting range. ALL BOTANIST SGA AU. BAM.

Annnnnd, Check Please! - okay, okay, I’m thinking Jack’s some sort of rank in the Canadian military (Mountie? Ha ha ha jk) and Bitty’s a scientist on his gate team (along with Shitty and Lardo, Shitty a fellow scientist, Lardo military) and they get into a lot of gate team shenanigans, including being attacked by dinosaurs, captured by Genii, almost eaten by Wraith, Bitty and Jack get accidentally married a lot of times, it’s like a running gag. Jack secretly likes it and is only sad they aren’t real, Shitty’s pretty sure ALL of them are legal, and Bitty stress-bakes a lot in the commissary because he feels bad for all the times it was his fault Jack and him got accidentally married.

[hazel3017]

tienriu replied to your post “Do you suppose a reason why Geno never updated his height is because...”

wait why is Crosby contractually required to wear ear guards/a visor?

It would have been in relation to his Rebook sponsorship agreement, I believe, but I can’t remember if this is canon or fanon.

[storieswritteninthesand]

simulatedstars replied to your photo

“I did it!!”

Congratulations!

tienriu replied to your photo  

“I did it!!”

Congratulations! Also does this mean that there might be Beowulf inspired recipes at some stage? :D       

Thank you both :D Funnily enough, I actually paid zero-attention to the literal *food* of Beowulf (actually, I don’t think there’s any food references more detailed than “the men ate and drank joyously” owtte!) Apparently, food is not an integral component of a feast... who knew :P

[reesa-chan]

tienriu

replied to your post

“@tienriu replied to your post “@kagekanecavi replied to your post ...”

... levy told me and it's been at least twelve hours and I still don't understand why - why trolls can live with themselves. fuck sake.

Yeah, we’ve had a number of incidences lately ranging from minor nuisance to triggering, and just... it’s not even how can they live with themselves (even if w o w dude, collecting masses of gifs of animal cruelty and indiscriminately disseminating them? that’s messed up) The thing that really gets me is that I can’t for the life of me understand why. What do they get out of it? I don’t understand the appeal.

[fierceawakening]

...i know there’s at least one of these in every fandom but JESUS FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

[copperbadge]

Survive April

I got a bunch of really great suggestions for “Survive April” images after I posted Survive March, so I went through and picked three (it was SUPER HARD) that I liked. I’m saving some more for May, just in case. 

Meanwhile...

tienriu replied to your photo “I forgot I made this...”

April's Fool being what it is, you should go for old school card joker images for survive April.

I couldn’t find a joker I liked but in the spirit of it I found an old Escher print (here at Digital Commonwealth): 

And if you want to go FULL ESCHER: 

peregrer replied to your photo “I forgot I made this...”

March is in like a lion, out like a lamb, right? April could be a lamb that's seen some sh*t.

I went looking for a lamb that had seen some shit but I found something...”better”? (at Wellcome here.)

Do not be murdered by sheep. 

subversivecynic reblogged your photo and added:

Carnivorous Flora

Okay so like...I couldn’t find an image of carnivorous plants I liked that was vintagey enough, but this took me down a “poisonous plant” path that eventually led me somehow to this: 

Which is an interesting image on its own, but is in fact even more fascinating when you see the full image at Wellcome: 

It’s an ad by several American health organizations operating in France declaring we must defeat Tuberculosis “as the most harmful of reptiles”. Published, they think, in 1918. 

So...timely.

Anyway, guys, I know this seems comedic and maybe even like I’m laughing at something I shouldn’t be laughing at, but the longer this goes on the more I genuinely want to wish you all full survival of the month of April. These are my lucky amulets I’m sending out into the world for all of you. 

(Also apropos of nothing @ameliahcrowley​ you mentioned an anatomical drawing -- if you ever want to re-find it, the term for that specific genre of drawing is “ecorche”! I may do an ecorche for May.) 

[halffizzbin]

tienriu replied to your post “Just figured out how to belt up to E-flat-5 and I know that probably...”

Okay please explain how to do it without hurting your throat???

I don’t know if I can explain, it but thankfully I can link to the youtube video that explained it to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEpnvrQaadM

The short answer I guess is you make a lot of room in your mouth/throat but you don’t actually push the sound through there; it’s like, through your nasal cavity (but it doesn’t have to sound nasal, you just use the same space to resonate), and pushing the tone louder from the diaphragm (muscle under your ribcage) without any actual push from the throat at all.  I admit my chest DID get a little sore after like 40 minutes lol but it was more like muscle-soreness than strain.

[itsybittle]

So I was telling @tienriu how the Avalanche social media is very on point and jokingly said, it’s what Bitty would do, which of course snowballed into this....

-

Bitty has been in charge of the Avalanche social media for a few months now, and he could flatter himself by knowing that some people had taken note of how well received the changes had been.

Not everybody of course, which was why Bitty was still having a small petty rivalry with Jamie, but that was a long story that wasn’t worth getting into.

The important thing here, is that Georgia Martin had taken notice.

Despite the Falconer’s PR and her best efforts, they hadn’t managed to launch their team to a younger audience and if they wanted to turn Providence into a hockey city, they needed the best of the best.

They needed somebody like Bitty (or so she tells him in an effort to butter him up when she dropped by his office to ask him for a minute of his time at the closest coffee shop)...

“Thanks, but I am happy in my current position,” he replied grateful but firm, because he is maybe three months away from getting Mikko to learn how to tie a tie and if he plots with his mom, maybe they can get him a third pair of dress shoes.

Bitty has put a lot of work into this team, a lot of pie and bribery had gone into getting everybody, (or well, almost everybody... Jamie), on board with his style of social media and he has no intentions to start again.

And maybe this would have been the end of his polite business coffee with Georgia Martin, if the Falconer’s captain, Jack Zimmermann hadn’t strolled in then.

Bitty is pretty sure he almost swallowed his tongue, because dear God, Jack Zimmermann was even more gorgeous in person than he imagined.

He almost died when a very stilted and awkward Zimmermann read him a bullet point list of why Providence was the best city.

Zimmermann earnestly told Bitty he did the research himself, and Bitty was almost pained by his sincere efforts. For all that Jack Zimmermann was a Hockey God, he was also known for his terrible media interviews and interpersonal skills.

This is when some of the shine wears off, and Bitty starts looking at Jack as a person who does not enjoy the spotlight, but by circumstances was forced to bear it.

While Georgia stepped outside to take a call, Bitty unable to keep listening, gently reached out and took the list.

“I’ll promise to read this later, but why don’t you tell me what you like about Providence?” he asked doing his best to radiate friendliness and sliding a piece of pie, not even half as good as his, in front of a frowning Zimmermann, “if you are anything like the boys on my team, I’m sure you have a favourite running path.”

This finally did the trick and he saw some tension ease off his shoulders.

Georgia came back from her phone call and froze when she saw an animated Jack, widely gesturing with his hands as Bitty made encouraging sounds and commented in all the right places.

‘Ignore what I just said, pretty sure we found our guy’ she texted and ignored the ‘???’ that followed.

Bitty left that meeting proud of himself for being able to say ‘no thanks’ when Jack took a shot at offering him the job, his disappointed face nearly made him change his answer.

He was certain Georgia Martin noticed that, and not one to waste an opportunity, from then on anytime they were on the same city or close enough, she would drop by, dragging Jack Zimmermann with her.

III

Jack hesitantly dropped by with coffee after the game, looking slightly afraid of his reception.

“Please Mr. Zimmermann, coffee will always grant you entrance,” said Bitty infinitely grateful.

“Even when your team loses 2-4?” Jack chirped.

“Miracles do happen sometimes,” replied Bitty distractedly and smirked at Jack’s outraged face.

Lord help him with this boy.

III

“Georgia really, I don’t know any other ways to reject your offer,” said Bitty three months later and no closer to getting Mikko to tie his own tie but now the reluctant owner of three dress shoes, “I’m starting to feel rude.”

“Just say yes then,” she said with a smirk. Bitty sighed at her.

“Have a safe trip home,” he said instead.

“Sorry I couldn’t bring Jack today!”

Bitty flushed and closed the door to his office. Georgia Martin was an evil evil woman.

III

“Jack, really, it’s not about the money,” said Bitty doing his best to keep himself from staring at Jack’s beautiful cheek bones. They were sort of friends now, even if they kept having to do the awkward job offer and decline dance anytime they talked.

“Then why not?” Asked Jack frowning at him, and Bitty knew it was just his way of pouting.

“I like the Avalanche, I like the team and the work I’m doing,” he explained with a shrug.

“Maybe you would like my team if you met them,” said Jack petulantly.

“I’m sure I would,” Bitty replied politely, and by the gleam in Jack’s eye he knew this wasn’t the end of it.

III

“So you the guy Martini and Zimmnonni talk about,” said Alexei ‘call me Tater’ Mashkov.

“Martini?” He parroted with raised eyebrows, while George’s hand went to the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah!” said Tater enthusiastically, “Martini likes pink drink with umbrella, too sweet, still good, not as good as vodka.”

“Right,” said Bitty baffled.

“You like Vodka B?” Asked Tater with a very serious face, and Bitty should have known better than to reply to that.

III

“I am afraid Eric is out,” said Marie their newest intern, when Jack popped his head into their office the next day, asking for Bitty.

Jack looked at her sadly, or so would Marie described his face later to him.

“Sorry, I am not sure when he’ll be back, he has a Bush day today,” she said smoothly and herded Jack out.

Bitty was not a coward, but he was very hungover and willing to sign his soul away to anybody who brought him coffee. He couldn’t be entirely sure that wasn’t exactly Georgia’s plan.

III

“Come on Bittle, tell me what you want? What’s going to get you to come work for us?” asked George, not bothering to even say hello.

“It’s been 6 month,” said Bitty tiredly, “I don’t get why you want me to come work for you so badly, you have good people already and there’s nobody there who can’t do what I do just as good. I know Samira is not going anywhere, nor is Joshua, so it’s not like you can offer me to run the department or the social media. I have a good career here George.”

She was silent for a long time and nodded at him politely before leaving.

Bitty sighed in relief, honestly, it was getting harder and harder to say no, but despite all the offers, it was yet unclear why the Falconers wanted him.

III

“Can we talk?” Asked Jack nervously, Bitty blinked surprised, but moved to let him and Georgia in.

It has been a month since they had last tried to pitch him a job offer. He and Jack had kept in touch, texting frequently, but Bitty could tell there was a new awkwardness between their interactions that he wasn’t sure how to address.

“Can I offer you guys anything? Water? Sweet tea? Pie?” He asked, manners kicking in by reflex.

“A signature for this non-disclosure,” Georgia said casually pulling out a few papers from her briefcase and a pen.

Bitty stares at them wrong footed, “I don’t think I should sign anything until I can get my lawyer to-”

“I’m bi,” blurted Jack nervously, “and I want to come out.”

Bitty blinked a few times processing, and looked at Georgia’s carefully contained reaction to what was obviously a deviation from the plan, to Jack’s pale face.

“Thank you for trusting me with that,” said Bitty and resisted from reaching out and hugging Jack, instead he took the pen and signed the document without reading it.

[levynite]

tienriu

replied to your

post

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ENDGAME IN 2 HOURS

I���m going on Friday, and *vibrates* good luck, god speed, see you on the other side

*vibrates*

*grab shoulders*

*vibrates harder*

[amarguerite]

tienriu replied to your post: omg that first episode of season 2 of QE just...

my ugly cry moment was when Antoni said “not all parents do that” and I was just. #emotionallycompromised

OH MY GOD I HAD TO PAUSE NETFLIX TO FIND TISSUES AT THAT BIT

[sergeantsexface]

Went to FlameCon in Brooklyn and it was awesome! Got a bunch of Check Please stuff, naturally. Did like Shitty and had to smooch Bitty’s face. XD 

Best of all was getting my custom Pens Bittle jersey signed. :D :D :D 

N said it was the first thing with Bitty’s autograph, too! Said he’d be rather deliberate about his signature.

@whoacanada @omgpieplease @tienriu 

Then I wandered around the rest of the con, got some good stuff. Best con I’ve been to, I think. Very friendly and comfortable. I mean, I really liked Wizard World, for the autograph and photos, it was loads of fun. FlameCon had some of the best costumes ever (including the Disney Princes! And they had drag queens attending, OF COURSE the cosplay game is gonna be at another level). It was smaller, so I had time to look at all the art and vendors and stuff. Got in a couple of cool panels too.