#tips on a 5yo game

[jokersenpai-thenavigator]

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but you have to equip the tool inside your room before you can LB + Right Stick toggle in the field.

[topsyturvy-turtely]

From this ask game post:

4. tell me about your most vivid memory, good or bad.

12. who do you wish you could connect with but haven’t been able to connect with?

Hope you feel better!! 😘😘

hi!

when tf did i reblog this???

4. most vivid memory: (what a weird question... i don't have a memory... i mean a vivid memory xP)

err idk????? literally NO FUCKING IDEA. i have many memories but which is my most vivid? idk.

i have a whole lot of good (and bad ig) memories with my ex. for example when we went hiking and then we sat on top of the mountain and looked at the view.

i remember as a child i was hiding from my grandma when my little sister was born because i was so mad that i wasn't allowed to come. and i was apparently a little asshole because i switched to hiding places that she just looked for me at so she would definitely not find me. my grandmother literally cried. (perks of having older brothers who tell them smart hiding tips ig. i was 5yo at the time lmao)

is that good enough?

12. who do wish to connect but haven't been able to?

with FLORENCE PUGH!!! (i'm convinced we would absolutely vibe lmao) also benedict cumberbatch and taylor swift hahahaha ;)

as irl? like more plausible connections? there was this one girl at university. we talked once for a long time at a student meeting. and i think i immediately had a crush on her. i was with my ex back then still though. but i always wanted to hang out with her. i would maybe even have asked her on a date. never happened, because well... i had a gf^^ we probably talked 5 times in total. but that could have been a deeper connection... i think. never even managed to be friends with her.

dang this feels personal lol but oh well.

[eddiesasspbrak]

When I’m With You Ch. 2

Eddie can’t stand the barista at his favorite coffee shop. Richie has fallen in love with the man he sees twice a week. Stan is dating someone but won’t let his friends meet them. Ben is in love with Beverly, but is so afraid of scaring her away he’s not moving forward. Chaotic friends navigating college together.

Ch.1

Ch.3

Read on AO3

Less than 2k words

It was Saturday, Eddie didn’t have to do anything. When he woke on the couch, his neck hurting from the insufficient head support, he was glad to see his streak of no hangover was still going strong. Still, he felt off. A little sick to his stomach, but not from the drinking. It was that emotional kind of ache that came with anxiety usually. He wasn’t sure what was causing it and it was really quite annoying when it hit out of nowhere.

He sat up, rolling his neck and allowing it to pop and stretch. He’d slept in his clothes and that always made him feel too warm and gross. The first thing he needed was a shower and then he should probably eat something, even though his stomach protested at the thought. He turned the shower on and looked at the way his hair was sticking up in the mirror. He looked tired. He was tired. Sleeping on the couch wasn’t exactly restful.

Stripping off his clothes, he stepped under the warm spray of water. The events of the night before were coming back slowly as the groggy remnants of sleep faded away. He remembered Bev showing up with Richie and being stuck talking to him all night. He remembered Ben and Bev leaving them there alone without telling him they were going to go. He remembered Richie inviting him for pie and then leaving in a hurry when he got a text. The sad and disappointed look he tried to hide behind a smile crept back into his mind and his stomach churned with that heavy anxiety feeling again.

He tried to shake all thoughts from his head as he focused on getting clean instead. Feeling fresher than he had before, dressed in clean clothes, hair drying, he went to this kitchen to see if he could find anything he could stomach at the moment. In one of the cabinets he found a sleeve of crackers and took them back to the living room with him. He switched the TV on, ignoring the cooking show that was on as he checked his phone for the first time since waking up.

Ben: I’m so, so, so sorry. Beverly said she wanted to go somewhere alone and wouldn’t let me tell you first.

Eddie rolled his eyes as he read the text. He wasn’t actually mad at him and didn’t really expect an apology. But Ben was probably sitting there worried that he was angry. He was always like this. He’d spent his childhood before moving to town without friends. They’d met in middle school and found they liked some of the same things. Eddie didn’t really have friends either, so they found comfort in being with another outcast. However, Ben was always worried he’d do something wrong and lose him. Even in high school when their friend group grew to include Stan, even when all three got into the same college and ventured outside of their small town for the first time together.

Stan and Ben lived on campus, but Eddie’s mom had helped him get his apartment. He’d started out in the dorms, but he couldn’t stand living with a roommate who didn’t keep clean and his roommate was constantly complaining about him being anal about cleanliness. He also didn’t cope well with the communal showers. In the end, it was just better for him to live on his own off campus. He’d thought about finding a three bedroom with Stan and Ben, but for the time being, they were enjoying living on campus. It was fine. Eddie didn’t mind living alone.

He munched on some crackers while he typed out a response to Ben.

Eddie: It’s fine. I left right after you. That was pretty much the plan anyway

Ben: You’re not mad?

Eddie: No. How did it go?

Ben: Can I come over?

Eddie: That bad?

Ben: No. I just want to talk about it in person.

Eddie: Yea. I’m home

Ben: Twenty minutes

He hadn’t really expected to have company but spending a few hours with Ben wasn’t a terrible way to spend his Saturday. He could probably guilt him into buying him lunch to pay him back for the bar tab. Eddie went to put his phone down when another text came through, this one from Stanley.

Stan: Did you guys go out without me last night?

Eddie: Every time we ask you out you say you’ve got a date

Stan: So…you did

Eddie: If I had texted and asked you to come out what would your answer have been?

Stan: …that’s not the point

Eddie: omg ok I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to hang out Stan. I promise that next time I will ask you to come so you can turn me down properly instead of bringing this mystery person for your BEST FRIENDS to finally meet.

Stan: You will meet them eventually. I’m just not ready.

Eddie: It’s been three months.

Stan: Excuse me but I’m supposed to be mad at you. You can’t just turn things around on me like this

Eddie: Ben is coming over now. Do you want to come too? He’s going to regale us with the fascinating events with Bev from last night

Stan: …I can’t

Eddie: Oh my God

Stan: Next time?

Eddie sent back an emoji of hand flipping him off and dropped his phone down on the couch. He half focused on the cooking competition show while he ate almost the entire sleeve of crackers and waited for Ben. He was starting to feel better, more relaxed after texting with his friends. They both knew that he struggled with a panic disorder and were often the ones to help calm him when things got bad. Over the years they’d learned what they needed to do for him. Just being with him, occasionally hugging him or just placing a hand on his arm to keep him grounded. He really did love them.

He figured Ben was texting to let him know he’d arrived when his phone chimed about fifteen minutes later. He unlocked the screen and stared down at the number the text had been sent from. It was local, but not one he had saved or recognized. He opened the message warily, figuring it was probably a spam message from some store that had his information. Instead of a special offer or a sale announcement, he was met with the picture of a slice of pie.

?: thinking of you

Eddie: Who is this?

?: really? The pie didn’t tip you off?

Eddie: Um…

?: it’s Richie

It clicked for him a second later, having been working hard to forget about any of their interactions from the night before. Of course, he’d asked him to go get pie with him before he’d disappeared. The only question remaining was how he’d gotten his number. He for sure didn’t remember giving it to him and he didn’t want him to have it. He would never know peace if Richie was able to text him.

Eddie: Why do you have my number?

Richie: Bev gave it to me

Eddie: Why?

Richie: I asked her

Eddie: Why?

Richie: I wanted it

Eddie: Why?

Richie: did you give your phone to a 5yo?

Eddie: I’m just trying to understand why you would want to have the ability to contact me

Richie: you’re not very social, are you?

Eddie: No. I’m not.

Richie: we’ll have to work on that Eds

Eddie: Don’t call me that

A text came through from Ben, letting him know he was downstairs. Eddie set his phone aside, ignoring the new texts from Richie and going to the intercom. He pushed the button that would allow Ben to enter and unlocked his front door. He went back to the couch and a minute later Ben was letting himself in. At first glance, he didn’t look upset. Things must have gone well.

“So?” Eddie said, expectantly.

“I kissed her.” Ben blurted out, going tense.

“What? Really?” Eddie was really interested now.

“We left the bar and we were just walking. It was cold but it was like, I couldn’t even tell or something. I just wanted to keep walking forever if it meant that I could have her by my side.”

“Ok, enough of the poetic shit. Tell me what happened.”

“We stopped to get coffee at this place that was still open, and we were sitting and talking and…”

“And?”

“She’s just so pretty. I was staring at her and she started laughing at me, so I thought I screwed up. Then she just leaned across the table and kissed me.”

“Like, on the mouth?”

“Yep.”

“I told you she liked you.” Eddie couldn’t help the ‘I told you so’ as he had been telling Ben for months that Bev was into him. He was so sure that she wouldn’t be into him that he doubted every move he made around her.

Ben finally left the door and joined Eddie on the couch. He looked like he was in disbelief, like maybe he was thinking that he’d dreamt it all.

“So, are you guys dating then?” Eddie asked, pulling his legs up underneath him.

“I think so. She said I was cute and then we held hands while I walked her home and we kissed again before I left.”

“Did you ask her out again?”

“No. But she said her birthday is on Thursday and she wants both of us to come.”

“Is it a party?”

“She said drinking and laser tag.”

That didn’t sound terrible to Eddie. He liked Bev. Considered her a friend. He would like to celebrate her birthday with her. He’d never been to play laser tag, so he wasn’t sure he’d be any good. Still, he didn’t have any classes on Friday so a fun night out on Thursday didn’t sound bad.

“Should be fun. And, hey, she wants to see you again after kissing you. That’s a good sign, right?” Eddie asked, patting Ben on the shoulder.

“I guess. Do I kiss her when I see her? When I shop for a birthday gift, should I shop like I’m buying for a girlfriend? Or a friend?”

“You need to calm the fuck down, man. When you see her, if she wants to kiss you, she will let you know. This is Beverly we’re talking about. As for a gift, just buy her something you know she’ll like. I’ll go with you to find something.”

“Really?”

“Yea, of course.”

Ben wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him into a crushing hug. “I love you.”

“I know.” Eddie patted his back and laughed. “I love you too.”

Ben ended up staying the rest of the afternoon. They spent the day watching movies and playing games together. It had been a long time since they last did this, just enjoying each other’s company. They ordered dinner, Ben paid, and ate in front of the TV. Eddie told him about how he knew Richie and how Bev had given him his phone number without asking him first. Now he had him saved as a contact in his phone and he hated it.

When night fell, Ben chose to stay the night instead of heading back to his dorm. Tomorrow was Sunday and he didn’t have to be anywhere. They shared Eddie’s bed and the next morning they went out for a late breakfast of pancakes and coffee at a diner. Eddie absently remembered Richie’s comment about cheating on him with someone else’s coffee and rolled his eyes, drinking every drop and asking for a refill.

[yes-dal456]

47 Tweets From Parents That Sum Up The Nightmare Of Lice Outbreaks

There is perhaps nothing more fear-inducing for parents than receiving the dreaded “LICE” note from their kid’s school.

These notorious outbreaks have the power to make even the most level-headed parents want to burn all of their belongings and shave every family member’s head. Many moms and dads vent about their head lice anxieties on Twitter, and some manage to find humor in the bleakness.

We’ve rounded up 47 tweets about the nightmare that is a lice outbreak. Try not to scratch your head while reading.

Lice is the herpes of kindergarten.

— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) December 31, 2014

One daughter has lice. While my kids slept, I filled 15 garbage bags with stuffed animals and hid them in the attic Your move, the Grinch.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 20, 2016

Lice are proof that God doesn't think having small children is it's own punishment.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 9, 2014

*standing in front of smoldering remains of my house* Fireman: what happened, ma'am? Me: there's a head lice outbreak at my kid's school.

— JuneBug (@jenyb4) January 13, 2016

Parenting tip: If your kid ever gets lice, make sure you send them to the local orphanage with the best YELP reviews.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 30, 2015

When considering the price of fighting a case of child head lice, don't forget to factor in the cost of the wine you need to get through it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 1, 2016

My daughter is so generous. She shared her head lice with me so now we can both be alienated by our family.

— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) June 6, 2016

Lice? Lice lice. Lice lice lice? Liiiiiice. - what English sounds like after I get a note from the school saying there's lice in the class

— Sarah del Rio (@est1975blog) September 14, 2016

I know I've taught my daughter well bc I overheard her saying, "My Barbie can't share her crown with you because she doesn't want lice."

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) April 23, 2015

Parenting tip: Never have kids. They might get lice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 9, 2017

It only took my wife mentioning "lice" once for this whole Burger King play place to clear out.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 25, 2015

The only one I hate more than this is "The Game of Lice" #RealMomTruths @Luvs http://pic.twitter.com/eJ65Q7rgdm

— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) May 4, 2015

Four out of five moms agree that lice will give you a nervous breakdown. And even the fifth mom is just pretending to hold it together.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) April 26, 2016

One of my son's T-ball teammates has lice & the kids have been sharing helmets. Good news is we're changing team name to The Bad News Hairs.

— Dude of the House (@DudeOfTheHouse) April 23, 2015

2am and I'm sneaking around my house with a headlamp on giving my sleeping children lice checks. You know just another normal Sat morning.

— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) February 1, 2014

Relationship status: Bribing my husband with sexual favors in exchange for applying Anna's final lice treatment.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) November 1, 2014

The family that removes lice together, stays together. Mostly because no one else wants them.

— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) September 26, 2015

Is it normal for a grown man to cry after getting the first head lice awareness letter from school?

— Dad or Alive (@dad_or_alive) January 13, 2016

Calling a class Christmas party a "holiday fair" is wrong. We're too easily offended to call it what it REALLY is: Lice Roulette with Punch.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) December 22, 2015

Sorry I started singing "lice lice baby" when you told me about your kid's nits but come on, that's fuckin funny.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 18, 2017

Lice really prefer clean hair. --what I tell myself every night when I let my kids skip washing their hair.

— Resist! SWT (@SWilderTaylor) September 19, 2015

Just when you think 2016 couldn't get any worse, the preschool sends out a lice warning. *dives head first into the dumpster fire*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 8, 2016

In over 11 years of parenthood we've never yet had lice. *knocks on wood, throws salt over shoulder, offers firstborn to lice gods*

— Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 10, 2017

My type A, clean freak, hypochondriac wife just found lice in our daughter's hair so now I must start a new life.

— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) December 20, 2016

None of the pregnancy books warn you how much of the next 15 years you'll waste worrying that you have lice or a possible stomach bug.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) April 27, 2016

Taking your kid to get a haircut at a children's barbershop is like using a dirty needle, except lice is 100 times worse than hepatitis.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 3, 2016

I never thought I could love dandruff as much as I do each and every time it isn't lice.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) April 22, 2013

Gotta love the lice letter from school... in other news now I can't stop itching my head.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) November 11, 2016

In an ideal world chlorine would kill lice, amirite

— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) September 4, 2016

Me: I need a break from the election. It would be nice to focus on something else. Life: Your preschool has lice! Me: Dammit.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 14, 2016

"Biggest asshole" is quite an insult. Now consider lice, the smallest assholes. Those smallest assholes are the biggest assholes I know.

— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) July 15, 2015

THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE! REPEAT: THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE!

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 11, 2014

Oh just scrolling through a story on super-strains of lice with one hand and shaving all of our family's hair off with the other.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) August 18, 2015

There really needs to be a super-sympathetic "I'm sorry your kid has lice." emoji. Someone? Please?

— Julie Maida (@NextLifeNOKids) February 26, 2015

Introvert Pro Tip: You'd be amazed at how many commitments you can get out of for the week when you get lice from your kids.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 20, 2016

Boys, I will always be there for you...that is unless you have lice. Then it's feed yourself and find your own damn way to school.

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) May 22, 2013

Nightmares as a child: monsters Nightmares as a parent: lice

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 4, 2015

... And it's official: Lice outbreak at school. Homeschoolers, you're looking smarter every damn year.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 11, 2013

One thing they don't tell you before you become a parent is just how much you will learn about lice. I have a Ph. Delouse.

— Shawn (@BackpackingDad) June 22, 2013

So I put the lice repel stuff in the kids' hair. The only problem is *I* don't want to be around them either, now.

— Jennifer Mendelsohn (@CleverTitleTK) December 13, 2011

School sent a note home with my 5yo that someone had lice in his class. In unrelated news I broke out in hives & burned all our belongings.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) November 5, 2013

I don't know why my place isn't moving on air bnb when the description repeatedly emphasizes that it's lice-free.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) January 12, 2015

Mice outbreak at my school! Wait, hold on, typo. Lice outbreak at my school! Lice. Actually wishing now it was mice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 16, 2013

My kid was attacked by lice. The resulting casualties include hundreds of dead bugs, one confiscated Santa hat & four murdered friendships.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 19, 2012

Nothing like a "Confirmed Case of Head Lice At School" email to make me wish I'd gotten a dog instead.

— Karri-Leigh (@karri_leigh) January 18, 2016

It's hat day at school. I'll expect the lice out break letters in about 3 days.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) September 29, 2014

Every time my head itches I think, "well this is it, this is how I die" bc if the lice have finally come for me I'm lighting myself on fire.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) April 16, 2016

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2o85kWf from Blogger http://ift.tt/2nMFer6

[ongames]

47 Tweets From Parents That Sum Up The Nightmare Of Lice Outbreaks

There is perhaps nothing more fear-inducing for parents than receiving the dreaded “LICE” note from their kid’s school.

These notorious outbreaks have the power to make even the most level-headed parents want to burn all of their belongings and shave every family member’s head. Many moms and dads vent about their head lice anxieties on Twitter, and some manage to find humor in the bleakness.

We’ve rounded up 47 tweets about the nightmare that is a lice outbreak. Try not to scratch your head while reading.

Lice is the herpes of kindergarten.

— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) December 31, 2014

One daughter has lice. While my kids slept, I filled 15 garbage bags with stuffed animals and hid them in the attic Your move, the Grinch.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 20, 2016

Lice are proof that God doesn't think having small children is it's own punishment.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 9, 2014

*standing in front of smoldering remains of my house* Fireman: what happened, ma'am? Me: there's a head lice outbreak at my kid's school.

— JuneBug (@jenyb4) January 13, 2016

Parenting tip: If your kid ever gets lice, make sure you send them to the local orphanage with the best YELP reviews.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 30, 2015

When considering the price of fighting a case of child head lice, don't forget to factor in the cost of the wine you need to get through it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 1, 2016

My daughter is so generous. She shared her head lice with me so now we can both be alienated by our family.

— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) June 6, 2016

Lice? Lice lice. Lice lice lice? Liiiiiice. - what English sounds like after I get a note from the school saying there's lice in the class

— Sarah del Rio (@est1975blog) September 14, 2016

I know I've taught my daughter well bc I overheard her saying, "My Barbie can't share her crown with you because she doesn't want lice."

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) April 23, 2015

Parenting tip: Never have kids. They might get lice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 9, 2017

It only took my wife mentioning "lice" once for this whole Burger King play place to clear out.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 25, 2015

The only one I hate more than this is "The Game of Lice" #RealMomTruths @Luvs http://pic.twitter.com/eJ65Q7rgdm

— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) May 4, 2015

Four out of five moms agree that lice will give you a nervous breakdown. And even the fifth mom is just pretending to hold it together.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) April 26, 2016

One of my son's T-ball teammates has lice & the kids have been sharing helmets. Good news is we're changing team name to The Bad News Hairs.

— Dude of the House (@DudeOfTheHouse) April 23, 2015

2am and I'm sneaking around my house with a headlamp on giving my sleeping children lice checks. You know just another normal Sat morning.

— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) February 1, 2014

Relationship status: Bribing my husband with sexual favors in exchange for applying Anna's final lice treatment.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) November 1, 2014

The family that removes lice together, stays together. Mostly because no one else wants them.

— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) September 26, 2015

Is it normal for a grown man to cry after getting the first head lice awareness letter from school?

— Dad or Alive (@dad_or_alive) January 13, 2016

Calling a class Christmas party a "holiday fair" is wrong. We're too easily offended to call it what it REALLY is: Lice Roulette with Punch.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) December 22, 2015

Sorry I started singing "lice lice baby" when you told me about your kid's nits but come on, that's fuckin funny.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 18, 2017

Lice really prefer clean hair. --what I tell myself every night when I let my kids skip washing their hair.

— Resist! SWT (@SWilderTaylor) September 19, 2015

Just when you think 2016 couldn't get any worse, the preschool sends out a lice warning. *dives head first into the dumpster fire*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 8, 2016

In over 11 years of parenthood we've never yet had lice. *knocks on wood, throws salt over shoulder, offers firstborn to lice gods*

— Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 10, 2017

My type A, clean freak, hypochondriac wife just found lice in our daughter's hair so now I must start a new life.

— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) December 20, 2016

None of the pregnancy books warn you how much of the next 15 years you'll waste worrying that you have lice or a possible stomach bug.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) April 27, 2016

Taking your kid to get a haircut at a children's barbershop is like using a dirty needle, except lice is 100 times worse than hepatitis.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 3, 2016

I never thought I could love dandruff as much as I do each and every time it isn't lice.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) April 22, 2013

Gotta love the lice letter from school... in other news now I can't stop itching my head.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) November 11, 2016

In an ideal world chlorine would kill lice, amirite

— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) September 4, 2016

Me: I need a break from the election. It would be nice to focus on something else. Life: Your preschool has lice! Me: Dammit.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 14, 2016

"Biggest asshole" is quite an insult. Now consider lice, the smallest assholes. Those smallest assholes are the biggest assholes I know.

— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) July 15, 2015

THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE! REPEAT: THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE!

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 11, 2014

Oh just scrolling through a story on super-strains of lice with one hand and shaving all of our family's hair off with the other.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) August 18, 2015

There really needs to be a super-sympathetic "I'm sorry your kid has lice." emoji. Someone? Please?

— Julie Maida (@NextLifeNOKids) February 26, 2015

Introvert Pro Tip: You'd be amazed at how many commitments you can get out of for the week when you get lice from your kids.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 20, 2016

Boys, I will always be there for you...that is unless you have lice. Then it's feed yourself and find your own damn way to school.

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) May 22, 2013

Nightmares as a child: monsters Nightmares as a parent: lice

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 4, 2015

... And it's official: Lice outbreak at school. Homeschoolers, you're looking smarter every damn year.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 11, 2013

One thing they don't tell you before you become a parent is just how much you will learn about lice. I have a Ph. Delouse.

— Shawn (@BackpackingDad) June 22, 2013

So I put the lice repel stuff in the kids' hair. The only problem is *I* don't want to be around them either, now.

— Jennifer Mendelsohn (@CleverTitleTK) December 13, 2011

School sent a note home with my 5yo that someone had lice in his class. In unrelated news I broke out in hives & burned all our belongings.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) November 5, 2013

I don't know why my place isn't moving on air bnb when the description repeatedly emphasizes that it's lice-free.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) January 12, 2015

Mice outbreak at my school! Wait, hold on, typo. Lice outbreak at my school! Lice. Actually wishing now it was mice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 16, 2013

My kid was attacked by lice. The resulting casualties include hundreds of dead bugs, one confiscated Santa hat & four murdered friendships.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 19, 2012

Nothing like a "Confirmed Case of Head Lice At School" email to make me wish I'd gotten a dog instead.

— Karri-Leigh (@karri_leigh) January 18, 2016

It's hat day at school. I'll expect the lice out break letters in about 3 days.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) September 29, 2014

Every time my head itches I think, "well this is it, this is how I die" bc if the lice have finally come for me I'm lighting myself on fire.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) April 16, 2016

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

47 Tweets From Parents That Sum Up The Nightmare Of Lice Outbreaks published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

[imreviewblog]

47 Tweets From Parents That Sum Up The Nightmare Of Lice Outbreaks

There is perhaps nothing more fear-inducing for parents than receiving the dreaded “LICE” note from their kid’s school.

These notorious outbreaks have the power to make even the most level-headed parents want to burn all of their belongings and shave every family member’s head. Many moms and dads vent about their head lice anxieties on Twitter, and some manage to find humor in the bleakness.

We’ve rounded up 47 tweets about the nightmare that is a lice outbreak. Try not to scratch your head while reading.

Lice is the herpes of kindergarten.

— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) December 31, 2014

One daughter has lice. While my kids slept, I filled 15 garbage bags with stuffed animals and hid them in the attic Your move, the Grinch.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 20, 2016

Lice are proof that God doesn't think having small children is it's own punishment.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 9, 2014

*standing in front of smoldering remains of my house* Fireman: what happened, ma'am? Me: there's a head lice outbreak at my kid's school.

— JuneBug (@jenyb4) January 13, 2016

Parenting tip: If your kid ever gets lice, make sure you send them to the local orphanage with the best YELP reviews.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 30, 2015

When considering the price of fighting a case of child head lice, don't forget to factor in the cost of the wine you need to get through it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 1, 2016

My daughter is so generous. She shared her head lice with me so now we can both be alienated by our family.

— Ponies and Martinis (@PonyMartini) June 6, 2016

Lice? Lice lice. Lice lice lice? Liiiiiice. - what English sounds like after I get a note from the school saying there's lice in the class

— Sarah del Rio (@est1975blog) September 14, 2016

I know I've taught my daughter well bc I overheard her saying, "My Barbie can't share her crown with you because she doesn't want lice."

— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) April 23, 2015

Parenting tip: Never have kids. They might get lice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 9, 2017

It only took my wife mentioning "lice" once for this whole Burger King play place to clear out.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 25, 2015

The only one I hate more than this is "The Game of Lice" #RealMomTruths @Luvs http://pic.twitter.com/eJ65Q7rgdm

— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) May 4, 2015

Four out of five moms agree that lice will give you a nervous breakdown. And even the fifth mom is just pretending to hold it together.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) April 26, 2016

One of my son's T-ball teammates has lice & the kids have been sharing helmets. Good news is we're changing team name to The Bad News Hairs.

— Dude of the House (@DudeOfTheHouse) April 23, 2015

2am and I'm sneaking around my house with a headlamp on giving my sleeping children lice checks. You know just another normal Sat morning.

— carly kimmel (@carlykimmel) February 1, 2014

Relationship status: Bribing my husband with sexual favors in exchange for applying Anna's final lice treatment.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) November 1, 2014

The family that removes lice together, stays together. Mostly because no one else wants them.

— BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama) September 26, 2015

Is it normal for a grown man to cry after getting the first head lice awareness letter from school?

— Dad or Alive (@dad_or_alive) January 13, 2016

Calling a class Christmas party a "holiday fair" is wrong. We're too easily offended to call it what it REALLY is: Lice Roulette with Punch.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) December 22, 2015

Sorry I started singing "lice lice baby" when you told me about your kid's nits but come on, that's fuckin funny.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 18, 2017

Lice really prefer clean hair. --what I tell myself every night when I let my kids skip washing their hair.

— Resist! SWT (@SWilderTaylor) September 19, 2015

Just when you think 2016 couldn't get any worse, the preschool sends out a lice warning. *dives head first into the dumpster fire*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 8, 2016

In over 11 years of parenthood we've never yet had lice. *knocks on wood, throws salt over shoulder, offers firstborn to lice gods*

— Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 10, 2017

My type A, clean freak, hypochondriac wife just found lice in our daughter's hair so now I must start a new life.

— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) December 20, 2016

None of the pregnancy books warn you how much of the next 15 years you'll waste worrying that you have lice or a possible stomach bug.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) April 27, 2016

Taking your kid to get a haircut at a children's barbershop is like using a dirty needle, except lice is 100 times worse than hepatitis.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 3, 2016

I never thought I could love dandruff as much as I do each and every time it isn't lice.

— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) April 22, 2013

Gotta love the lice letter from school... in other news now I can't stop itching my head.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) November 11, 2016

In an ideal world chlorine would kill lice, amirite

— Christina Anderson (@Xtina_Anderson) September 4, 2016

Me: I need a break from the election. It would be nice to focus on something else. Life: Your preschool has lice! Me: Dammit.

— Lea Grover (@bcmgsupermommy) October 14, 2016

"Biggest asshole" is quite an insult. Now consider lice, the smallest assholes. Those smallest assholes are the biggest assholes I know.

— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) July 15, 2015

THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE! REPEAT: THERE IS HEAD LICE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE!

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 11, 2014

Oh just scrolling through a story on super-strains of lice with one hand and shaving all of our family's hair off with the other.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) August 18, 2015

There really needs to be a super-sympathetic "I'm sorry your kid has lice." emoji. Someone? Please?

— Julie Maida (@NextLifeNOKids) February 26, 2015

Introvert Pro Tip: You'd be amazed at how many commitments you can get out of for the week when you get lice from your kids.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 20, 2016

Boys, I will always be there for you...that is unless you have lice. Then it's feed yourself and find your own damn way to school.

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) May 22, 2013

Nightmares as a child: monsters Nightmares as a parent: lice

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 4, 2015

... And it's official: Lice outbreak at school. Homeschoolers, you're looking smarter every damn year.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 11, 2013

One thing they don't tell you before you become a parent is just how much you will learn about lice. I have a Ph. Delouse.

— Shawn (@BackpackingDad) June 22, 2013

So I put the lice repel stuff in the kids' hair. The only problem is *I* don't want to be around them either, now.

— Jennifer Mendelsohn (@CleverTitleTK) December 13, 2011

School sent a note home with my 5yo that someone had lice in his class. In unrelated news I broke out in hives & burned all our belongings.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) November 5, 2013

I don't know why my place isn't moving on air bnb when the description repeatedly emphasizes that it's lice-free.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) January 12, 2015

Mice outbreak at my school! Wait, hold on, typo. Lice outbreak at my school! Lice. Actually wishing now it was mice.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 16, 2013

My kid was attacked by lice. The resulting casualties include hundreds of dead bugs, one confiscated Santa hat & four murdered friendships.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 19, 2012

Nothing like a "Confirmed Case of Head Lice At School" email to make me wish I'd gotten a dog instead.

— Karri-Leigh (@karri_leigh) January 18, 2016

It's hat day at school. I'll expect the lice out break letters in about 3 days.

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) September 29, 2014

Every time my head itches I think, "well this is it, this is how I die" bc if the lice have finally come for me I'm lighting myself on fire.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) April 16, 2016

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