#tired now though; it’s very cold. wish i could retreat into a deep hibernation…

[groupwest]

[ka-za-ri]

CLEAN (Ignis x Reader)

Genre: Fluff??? Slow burn???  Rating: G Pairing: Ignis x Reader Wordcount: 10,147

For your listening enjoyment while you read: CLEAN – Wagakki Band Translations:  [Link] Notes: I’m blaming @hypaalicious for dragging my muse out from hibernation so I can beat it into submission again. This is what you get. I haven’t written a fic in years and suddenly this happens in the last 48 hours. Does this count as a song fic? Idk. Ignis Hell is real.  ~~~~~~~

It’s strange how the endless, gentle patience of one person could turn a pickpocketing waif like you into a somewhat, respectable member the Crownsguard.

As beautiful a city as Insomnia was, you were always one to see the dirt in all of its cracks. Only the Astrals knew the number of times where above said dirt was all you would have for dinner. Teaching yourself the art of stealing was the easiest way to get by on the bad days, and conning drunkards got you by on the better days. Either way, it wasn’t a life you were very proud of, and it was better than being in the outlands.

You had your small handful of confidants – a network, if you will – of people who you could almost rely on for support; almost, considering the whole lot of you would be willing to sell each other out for a heavy pouch of money and an actual bed to sleep at night. There was no honor among thieves, and the lot of you gave only what was important enough to get by. Information was valuable and almost a currency amongst your group. It wasn’t much to call them a family or a home; however, it was what you had, and you made do.

It was during a regular meet up with your confidants one day when you realized that there was a chance that you could make the rest of your life one of luxury thanks the the prince himself. News of the young prince roaming the streets and enjoying the luxuries that he could afford was nothing new. What was news was finding out he frequented places that you pickpocketed.

“I hear tha’ he coulda rent a hotel whenver he wants. Th'boy’s got'a bit o’ moneh to spare fer sure.”

Rumors flew thick and fast amongst the members of your network.  Noctis, the Crown Prince, had more money than any of you could ever dream of.

“Hey, hey, did'ya hear? Tha prince was down at th’ bar las’ night ‘nd he bought out th’ whole place! Had a wild good party tha went til past dawn. Is true! I heard it from Granny down th’ road!”

You could feel your breath hitch at the idea of how it must feel to be able to throw around that much money. It made the tips of your fingers burn and itch.

“Gods! I jus’ saw th’ kind o’ purse tha’ kid has with him, I’ve never seen that much money in my life!”

You could almost feel the heavy coins in your hands at that point. The temptation became too great.  You needed to try to grasp for it. Picking the left over change from tourists had long lost its luster to you. It was a definite challenge, but it was a chance at a life you had only seen from afar.

“I’m gonna git outta here an’ steal his money,” you declared. The incredulous looks that your friends gave you was enough to tell your plan wasn’t going to end well. “I’m tired 'o sufferin’ here. I’m gonna take all his money and we’ll eat and live like King Regis for the rest of our lives!”

The cheers they gave you was enough to let you know that you were now committed to this insane plan. Now you had to succeed, or there really was no home to come back to. With the meeting adjourned after your great proclamation, you gritted your teeth and got up from your spot to blend back into the crowd.

The fates were cruel, and they seemed to derive glee in your eternal suffering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flow of the plan was simple enough. Stake out the bar that Noctis frequented, find who comes and goes with him, ensure that he was too drunk to see straight and steal his money.

What you did not expect was the fact that he had a royal baby sitter. The first time you saw Noctis stumbling out of the bar at half past four in the morning, you were primed and ready to knock the barely standing man over and make a run for it once you’ve made the necessary pass to get to his money. However, the damned brat stumbled right into the waiting arms of someone you had no intel on.

Tall and impeccably dressed in a suit that was probably worth more than all the money you had stolen in your lifetime, the man gently worried over the inebriated prince and guided him into the open door of a fancy car. You bit your bottom lip and scowled from where you stood. You internally grumbled as you watched Noctis disappear into the car. Your first attempt had been a failure. Luckily, from what your sources had told, the prince would be back once he got a chance to sneak out again.

You froze in your spot in the dark when you heard the car door close. You could have sworn this man was staring right at where you stood. His expression was unreadable under dimmed street lights; however, you could make out sharp features and stylish glasses. A long, stern face was further accentuated by his gelled up coif. He was the very image of prim and proper. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought that this man was the prince, not the sleeping child in the car.

Either this man was paranoid, or he had super powers to see in the dark. It wasn’t possible. You were at least fifty paces away and in the dark. There was no way he could tell where you were.  Just to be on the safe side though, you held your breath and did your best to not move.

After what seemed to be an eternal staring contest, he sighed, shook his head and got into the car thanks to the incessant nagging from Noctis. You heaved a deep breath after you saw the car drive past. The first time had been a failure; however, the next time…the next time you would be ready for anything that would come your way. Mysterious man or not, you were going to get that money even if it killed you.

Determined to not be thwarted again, you passed up a few more opportunities to pickpocket Noctis. It wouldn’t do to raise suspicions. That, and you were still unnerved by the man who could see in the dark. You picked up more information through a couple of weeks of casual interrogation and more eaves dropping than you cared for. A thief lived off of rumors; however, it always felt dirty to listen in on the whispers.

It was easy enough to find out about his name. Ignis Scientia, the name fell from many conversations about the “prince’s handsome advisor.” It was a fancy name, just like the suit and leather gloves he wore. Knowing that much made your mission that much harder. The chance of him appearing to pick up a drunk Noctis was too high. You were almost ready to give up and find some other careless rich boy to rob when you found out that they were almost always seen together.

And yet, the fates loved to toy with those who try the most. More rumors, more whispers and more information came too and fro. Ignis would be gone for a day on matters pertaining to the crown. The prince was free to do as he wished for a full 24 hours, and so opened your second chance.

Except no one told you that he was protected by a bear of a man who was literally a wall of muscle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The routine was the same. You watched from darkened corners as Noctis became more and more inebriated throughout the night. You almost fell asleep with how late his party continued. At last, when it almost struck four, the alcohol ran dry; and the owner forcibly sent everyone home. You waited with bated breath as the last person to leave the bar was Noctis. Again, the prince was a stumbling, drunk mess who made the perfect target.

You could feel your legs aching as you made your move past the crates you were hidden behind. Having crouched there for hours, they were numb; but it was your chance to make good on your word. You were almost standing when the prince waved at someone in the distance. Instantly, you withdrew back in the dark crevices.

A man with elaborate sleeve tattoos approached and made short conversation with the prince. Squinting, you could make out the form of a grand eagle’s wings spread across his arm which disappeared under the folds of his clothes. He had square jaw and wild hair, there was no way you could overpower this man in hopes of getting your prize. A fleeting thought of grabbing what you could and running as fast as possible passed your mind. A quick glance at how built this man was told you there was no way you were going to outrun those long legs.

You internally groaned as you watched your prey being easily lifted like a sack of flour and thrown over the shoulder of the hulking man. The fates weren’t playing fair as Noctis, and his money, disappeared into the night. For a split second, as you watched his retreating form, you could have sworn you saw the man turn his head around and flash a brilliantly cocky smile in your general direction. Regardless of whether or not he had seen you, it was enough to light a fire in you to finish what you had started out to do.

The third time. The third time had to be the charm. That’s what they always said, right?

More research. More time spent overhearing conversations about what kind of company the prince kept. For a careless child, he sure had enough baby sitters to keep you busy. Your comrades had abandoned your mission at this point, and the information they provided was scarce at best. Ignis had come back from his trip, and you were back to playing a waiting game for the prince to get shitfaced again. Through the rumor mill, you discovered that the wall of muscle was named Gladiolus Amicitia.

You had kicked yourself mentally several times at not having the foresight to remember the Amicitia family existed. They were a household name in the protection of the prince. Of course he would have one of their kin around.

Time was running short, as were the days. Autumn was coming in quickly this year; and with so much time spent on gathering information, you barely had enough to buy clothes that would actually weather the cold that was settling in. Still, you persevered through what you could with eyes on the prize and the dream that you could live the life you saw so often through the windows of the bar.

The break you were looking for seemed to come perfectly. A birthday celebration for Noctis’ best friend was to be thrown. Whisperings that both a handsome “shield” and an “advisor” would grace the bar with their presence made your heart flutter with glee. Everyone was going to get drunk, and you were going to be rich. For once, the fates were being kind to you.

You could almost sing with glee the awaited day came. The corner where you usually hid was well stocked with crates for the upcoming party. It was much darker, much safer, this time. Everything was finally paying off. Your patience was at last going to be rewarded.

It would be a lie to say that you weren’t jealous of the patrons in the bar that night. The smell of food and beer constantly wafted your way, and you constantly had to quell the loud grumbles your stomach gave every time you got a good whiff.

“No worries, by t'morrow, I'mma stuff myself so full, I won’t be able to walk,” you reasoned with yourself.

The night brought in chilly winds; and you struggled to stay awake, though you also knew that falling asleep was not an option. It was some time past 2 when you noticed something was off. After having kept an eye on Noctis for the whole night, you completely lost track of where Ignis and Gladiolus had disappeared off to. Shit, shit, shit, where’d they go? You panicked and craned your neck to try and get a better look at the bar’s interior.

I swear I just saw them next to the punky bastard. People don’t just disappear, do they? Though the prince was your target, you had to keep an eye out for the other two. They poised the greatest threat to your plan, after all.

A warm puff of air behind your ear was all the warning you got before a leather clad hand clamped over our mouth. In an instant, you squirmed your hardest to get away from your assailant only to be drawn closer to their body while another hand effortlessly restrained your arms behind your back to keep you from knocking anything over.

“I know you want to scream, but I would highly advise against doing that,” a voice whispered into your ear. Accented and smooth, as panicked as you were, you couldn’t help but also be rather intrigued as to who it belonged to.  "And, please, no biting, I’d rather not have to replace these gloves.

Your mind reeled as you tried to slow your breathing. The scent of expensive cologne and luxurious leather was making you rather light headed. Your senses told you to run or at least struggle; however, with the position you were in, it didn’t look like you would make it very far if you did struggle. The best course of action would be to stay put until you had a chance to run when you weren’t restrained.

Gladio’s large shadow blocked your view into the bar as he came into your field of vision. “Aww, Iggy, is this the little street rat you’ve been trying to track down? She’s hardly there.”

I’m gonna to break that shit eatin’ grin offa ya face, ya bastard, you thought as you looked around and tried to assess the situation better.

“It would appear so,” Ignis mused from behind you. “To think that a little kitten like this was the one planning to rob Noctis blind. It’s not what I expected, to say the least.”

A cold chill ran down your spine when you heard Ignis blowing all of your hard planning away. Tears threatened to fall at the corners of your eyes when you realized that this was not only a failure, it was probably going to be your last one. With nothing left to go home to and nothing to lose, you did the one thing you were told not to do and bit down as hard as you could into the leather hand covering your mouth.

With a hiss of pain, the gloved hand twitched away from your face; and that was all you needed to buy you enough time to worm free from Ignis’ grasp. However, as you had hypothesized, you didn’t cover much ground in your escape attempt. You felt someone grab onto your collar; and in a flurry of movement, you found the air knocked out of you as you hit the ground. Before you could reassess the situation further, what felt like a ton of bricks situated itself on your back.

“Really, Gladio? You’re sitting on her. Couldn’t you have chosen a more gentle method?”

“Well, she’s not going anywhere for sure this time.” You could feel the grin on Gladio’s face when he said that.

“Leggo 'f me! I ain’t doin’ 'nythin’ wrong!”

“On the contrary, kitten.” Ignis walked towards you, massaging the hand you bit before crouching down to where you were pinned down. “You see, to steal from my liege is quite the crime.”

“I ain’t steal nothin’ yet,” you grumbled, looking up at Ignis defiantly.

For the first time, you were able to get a good look at this man; and if circumstances were better, you wouldn’t have minded getting to know the personality behind that face better. He had a flawless complexion and long eyelashes which framed jade green eyes behind sleek glasses. His expression told you all you needed to know. Your plan failed. He knew your every move, and you were in every way, shape and form defeated.

“You don’t deny that it’s in your plan to steal from my liege. I’m simply being proactive in preventing this event.”

“Well ya did a great job. Ya gonna kill me yet? I’m a busy woman.”

You felt the man sitting on you let out a loud laugh. “If we planned on killing you, we’d definitely be making less of a deal of all of this.” He reached down to ruffle your hair.

“Indeed, I have a proposition to make.”

“Whas tha’ mean? I ain’t good with big words. Dunno if ya fancy people can tell, but some of us can’t say things as well as you.”

Another hearty laugh from Gladiolus above you came, and your hair was ruffled again. “We’ll get you learned right quick. It means he wants to make a deal with you.”

You struggled to give Ignis your best narrow eyed glare. The angle that you had to crane your neck in order to look at the sandy haired man in front of you made the back of your neck and your shoulders ache. Gladiolus sitting on top of you did not help this cause in the least bit. Either way, you were wary of anything these two might try to sell you. There was no reason anyone of their blood would want to reason with a street urchin like you.

“I’ll make this simple for you then. I’m impressed with how you found out so much about the prince and his colleagues in a short amount of time.”

“Ain’t nothin’ special.  E'rryone can git infomation like what I got on the streets, easy,” you tried your best to sound confident. Truth be told, it had been far from easy to get what you had on the prince, but you weren’t going to let those two catch onto that.

“If it’s easy for you then, why not make it your job?” Ignis looked at you, the barest twich of a smile played on his lips.

“It kinda is? I mean, not really, comes with th’ whole stealin’ stuff to live thing.”

“And if I offered you a job to gather information as a living, not as a means to steal… stuff, would you object?”

You paused your struggling to narrow your eyes at Ignis. “I see wha’s in it fer me, but what 'bout you lot?” There had to be a catch somewhere, and you were going to find it before you fell face first into their plans.

“What’s with the questioning? I thought the lot of you would have jumped at the opportunity to be near the king. You’d get money, fame, all the dick yo–”

“Gladiolus, please. We’re in a public setting.”

“Right. Sorry, Specs.”

Ignis heaved a sigh and glanced at you. “As my comrade has stat–”

“I get what I’m going to get outta this, what do you get in return for me serving the king like a dog?”

“You get to live.”

The answer came from his lips in a more curt manner than his previous diplomatic cadence. It seemed as though you had pushed on some buttons with your last question. As much as you wanted to sass this man, living seemed to be a better choice than the alternative he had given you.

“Fine. It’s a deal.”

You felt Gladiolus stand up, letting you take a full breath for the first time in a while. A warm, leather clad hand helped you up. “Then let’s make haste. Your training begins tomorrow.”

“Fine. Ain’t like I’ve got much t’ pack anyway.”

“Gladiolus, I hope that you will see Noctis home? There’s much to do with this one before the sun rises.”

“You got it, Specs!” Gladiolus saluted in jest before you were gently escorted towards a car to be plunged head first into a new life. As frightful as it all seemed, as much as you had failed to obtained what you had originally set out for, you were given a second lease on life. Perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all.  

Oh, the fates were truly, truly cruel to enjoy toying with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rookies always had it hard. As much as that statement was true, you had an inkling that it meant much more to you. Having to adjust to the training the Crownsguard received on a day to day basis was a jarring change of schedule to say the least. The physical pain, you had no problem with. The mere fact that you were guaranteed food and lodging made any bruises you received a worthy price. It was learning to blend in that was the hardest part.

Words didn’t flow from your lips as easily as they did for you on the streets. The trainees were quick to pick up on your quirks and your mannerisms the moment you joined their ranks. It wasn’t hard to single out someone without any “culture” as they called it. The consonants and the words were so hard for your tongue to follow. It almost felt like a different language sometimes. When you stumbled over the proper terms and etiquette, the other recruits jumped on any chance to poke fun of your accent.

The days felt long, longer than they had ever been in your lifetime. The initial novelty of having a bed to sleep on and food started to lose its appeal when it was near impossible to make any friends among the ranks. You were the first to get up most of the time, spending some time in the library and struggling through grammar and etiquette books in hopes of being accepted. Depending on the number of fights you would get into in a day, you would normally stay later to clean equipment after everyone had gone for the day.

It was hard. If you had been born into a different life, you may have quit already. However, you had too much to prove to quit. You had been given one blessing by the fates to be living the life you had now, and you were going to stretch their goodness for all it was worth.

If the fates were kind, then they at least granted you the company of one person.

Ignis was honestly the last person you expected yourself to become close to. However, it appeared that the two of you kept similar hours; up before everyone and the last to go to sleep during the night. He was a man of routine, and you quickly discovered he made a quick round through the citadel every night before settling in his office to complete any lingering paperwork for the day.

“You’re still here? I was sure everyone gone to sleep already.”

“I have to do remedy chores,” you deadpanned, while polishing practice daggers.

“Remedy chores?”

“Yeah, you know. When you do somethin’ bad an’ you gotta do somethin’ like clean everythin’ as punishment. But I guess since you’re Mr. Perfect, you ain’t ever had to do anythin’ like that.”

“Ah, you mean remedial duties,” Ignis corrected.

“Right, that. Remedial,” you repeated after him, kicking yourself for getting yet another term incorrect. “Whatever, I’m almos’ done with everythin’. Ya gonna leave me alone t’ do my work?”

“I’m rather hesitant to finish my work in a hurry for the night. I’ll wait for you to finish. I’d like to think that your company is an improvement over my office.”

“There you go with those complicated words again…” you grumbled as you reached for the last few daggers in the pile. “Do whatever you like, it’s not like it’s going to make me work faster.”

He leaned against a wall, watching you work in silence for a few moments before speaking again, “Your annunciation has improved…”

“Eh?” you turned around, looking at him quizzically.

“Your annunciation,” he repeated. “You’ve gotten better at speaking.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’ve been practicing.” As much as you didn’t want to admit it. His words struck a chord in you. It was the first time anyone had commented positively on any changes you had made. You felt your face heat up just slightly as you finished cleaning off the last piece of equipment. Your heart beat a little faster, hoping that he would give you another compliment. You wanted to hold onto the feeling as much as you could.

As tired as your body was that night, you felt the determination in you burn brightly. You had to prove to this man that his choice was right. You deserved to be a respectable member of the Crownsguard. Emboldened by his encouragement, you decided to pursue his company for a bit longer.

“Hey, I’m all done here. How much work do you have left?” you tried your best to keep your words as clean and crisp as possible. “I’ll keep you company until you’re done if it’s not much.”

“It won’t be long,” he reassured, pushing himself away from the wall. “Follow me whenever you’re ready.”

You swore your steps had a little more life and skip to them as you followed after him to his office that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Watching Ignis work was like watching a clock. He read quickly, wrote neatly, breathed evenly and looked prim and proper while doing it. You sat in the chair across from his desk in awe as he made quick work of a pile of proposals. It was hypnotizing watching his eyes scan line after line of text. His writing was fluid and deft as he signed off on one thing and rejected another.

It was a quiet life he led, and you didn’t want to intrude on his work; however, the urge to talk about your day – a simple craving you had to have conversation for the first time since you entered the citadel – was overwhelming. The words you wanted to tell him were overflowing, and you couldn’t help yourself from speaking up after he had finished signing what seemed like the fortieth proposal that night.

“I-I warped for real for the first time today!” you blurted out. Your words seemed to be absorbed into the walls, and Ignis looked up from his work. He blinked once, and you instantly felt yourself wanting to shrink and melt into the chair you were sitting in. You had told him you’d keep him company, not talk and bore his ears off from things he clearly knew about already. Well, that was a complete failure and a mistake. What am I even doing here? I should leave. I need to leave I s—

“Tell me more, I’m sure it was an exhilarating moment for you.”

Your panicked thoughts stopped dead. “Really? But you’re working…”

“I can multitask. It’ll help the time pass.”

“If you say so… Just don’t get bored before the end, okay?”

“I would never dream of it.”

Thus began your long story of how you had finally grasped the feeling of moving from one place to another in an instant. Magic did not come easily for you; however, learning to warp was an integral part of your training. Having failed the proper technique for a week at that point, you were close to giving up until something finally clicked and felt right for the first time that day. One moment you were faced with your sparring partner; the next moment, you were across the room and staring right at the back wall of the room. It wasn’t your intended destination, but you had done it. After days of trying unsuccessfully to budge even an inch from your initial location, you had made it to another place.

“I mean, I lost against Nyx in the end, but I mean, I did it y'know?” you babbled excitedly as your story came to a close and he was skimming through the last unread sheet of paper on his desk. “It was like… I dunno, magic.” You breathed excitedly, “And I mean, they made fun of me ending up at the wrong spot, but I guess my aim was off…”

“I’m sure with more practice you’ll be rather adept at it,” he reassured. He looked up from the paper and you could have sworn, with the way his eyes crinkled, he was hiding a smile behind the sheet of paper.

You could feel the pride in you swell from your chest. “I’m gonna be the best at it, just you wait. I’m gonna be better than all of them.”

At your bold proclamation, he let out a low chuckle, “I’m sure you will be. However, it’s rather late and I’d hate to be the reason that you oversleep.”

You gasped when you looked at the clock situated behind you. “Astrals be damned, I’m going to be dead tomorrow,” you groaned and reluctantly peeled yourself away from the comfortable spot you had made yourself in his chair.

“Well, that won’t do. If you’re dead tomorrow, who else will keep me company and make sure I complete my work in a timely manner?”

“I guess I gotta make an extra effort to be alive then,” you shot back before hurriedly making it to your quarters. If you were lucky, you’d get four hours of sleep if you fell asleep the moment your head hit the pillow. However, the floating feeling that came from having someone to talk to, even if it were the dead of the night, was enough to keep you energized for a week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next months, you found much needed comfort and warmth in late hours spent in the Royal Advisor’s office. There had even been a few times he had woken you up from your curled up position on the chair across from him after a rather long day. Sometimes, he would work in a comfortable silence while you looked around the office and marveled at all the small, intricately carved statues he called book ends. Occasionally, you would indulge in going through one of the thick, leather bound tomes on the shelves. They were much too complex for your liking, and you found yourself dozing off on those nights.

Other nights, you would talk the night away, regaling him with the tales of a rather long day of training. Those were always the nights he finished his work the slowest. He would take the time to look up from his papers and ask you questions, letting you go further into detail.

One night you were getting rather animated in a story regarding a fight you picked against a larger recruit. Swinging your arm around to show him how you had fought against your opponent, your sleeve fell back to reveal a myriad of bruises in various states of healing. Most, if not all of them, were from your regular scuffles.

“Let me see your arm.”

“Eh?” You noticed, too late what had happened and hastily pulled your sleeve down. “Oh, what! These bruises? They’re nothing! Everyone gets them all the time.”

“Let me see it.”

“But you’ve got a bunch of wor–”

“Your arm,” he demanded. The cold stare he gave you from behind his glasses was enough to stop any other arguments.

“Yes, sir…” you grumbled and walked forward to show him your arm.

His gaze was calculating and clinical as he gently took your arm into his gloved hands. Ignis guided you to stand next to him behind his desk so he could see bruises better. As angry as the newer ones looked, you tried to assure him that they weren’t as bad as it seemed. Though any arguments you may have had were quickly shut down by a silent, judging stare from him.

He would press at a few of the older marks to test how they were healing, but never too hard to make it hurt. You could feel your body heat rising under his intense scrutiny, and you fought the incessant urge to pull away and leave. You could feel his warmth though his leather gloves, and the silence started to grow uncomfortable. Whatever soap or cologne he was wearing reminded of you of resin and eucalyptus, a soothing scent that eased the tension a bit.

After what seemed like an eternity of examining your one arm, Ignis sighed and leaned back into his chair after letting go. He cocked one hand up and motioned towards himself with an expectant look. Understanding what he wanted, you hesitantly rolled up your other sleeve to reveal more bruises, this time with a few scrapes here and there. You couldn’t bare to look at him from sheer embarrassment. You felt utterly exposed, and the sinking feeling in your stomach was akin to the feeling you had when you first been completely defeated by him.

“How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know… a while? Since I got here, really…”

“Honestly, you have a way with making me worry.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not good with telling people things.”

The floor had suddenly become rather interesting. You couldn’t muster up the courage to look him straight in the eye anymore. Not at this moment at least.

You heard shuffling and a drawer opening. There was the delicate clinking of glass bottles before the drawer was closed again. “Come here,” he beckoned.

Doing your best to not look at him and taking as much time as possible, you approached Ignis, your face burning in shame and embarrassment. You let out a soft gasp when you felt a cool gel touch one of your newer scrapes. The cooling sensation quickly dissipated as it became a burning ache where it had been applied. Looking down at your arm, you watched as the angry purple bruise turned into a dull yellow-green.

“You need to make sure you take care of these. They’ll hinder you soon enough if you let them build up,” he explained, applying more of the healing salve on your arms. First on the nastiest looking bruises and the freshest scrapes before moving to the older marks, his motions were quick and to the point. Wait, when did he even take off his gloves?

“I’m already in charge of maintaining the health of one high maintenance prince. I’d like to request that we please don’t make these pleasant evenings about me worrying over your injuries.”

“Yeah, I’ll do better. I’m sorry.” You could barely manage to whisper your apology before the feeling of tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. The sinking feeling in your stomach intensified. You would do anything you could to leave at this point.

You tried your best to pass off the tears that threatened to fall as the tears that came after a yawn.

He noticed the yawn and glanced over at the clock. “My apologies, I didn’t realize how late it has become. Please, I think it’s best you head to bed.”

“Yeah. I’ll do that,” you mumbled before making your way out of his office and as fast as you could back to your room.

For the first time in your life, you cried yourself to sleep. You had let down the one person who you had let into your life within the citadel. You were sure that any chance you had of stitching back what trust was built had been burnt to ashes.  The burning sensation from where Ignis had applied the magic salve died down to a low ache that reached deep into your muscles. You were going to be late to training that morning, and you honestly didn’t care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week.

You had survived on your own in the streets for years. However, it took a week before any semblance of self control you had to stay upset at Ignis crumbled.  In a short seven days, you found yourself in front of his office again craving the warm glow of his presence, company, conversation and light.

It was normal for you to be tired after practice. However, the last week had been hell without anyone to vent or talk to. Your feet felt leadened, and your steps dragged. With the memory of worried Ignis weighing heavily on your mind, your progress during training had drastically fallen. Your mood had swung back to the way it was when you had first arrived at the citadel which was a fiery ball of rage with a short temper. You were quick to burn any bridges you had built amongst your comrades, and you found yourself withdrawing from any social connection.

It’s easier this way, no one needs to know or care about a street urchin.

It was normal for you to feel aches and pains. However, every now and then you swore you could feel the soft warmth of the salve that was so gently put on your arms. They offered an odd, painful comfort that at least once upon a time, someone cared enough about your health to even think about tending to you. Your arms still carried purple splotches; however, there were definitely fewer since you stopped bothering to pick fights.

What wasn’t normal was how completely lonely and unreasonably jealous of other people and their easy going friendships. You found yourself shooting dangerous glares and pouting whenever you overheard cheerful conversation between people. Even secluding yourself into the furthest corners of the library to be alone didn’t bring you much alone time to think. Somehow, you had found the favorite “secret fuck place” that the younger recruits frequented.

Exasperated, tired and lonely, you found yourself standing in front of Ignis’ office door after a solid week of avoiding him. You could see the glow from his desk lamp leak past the crack in the door. You reached for the handle, ready to just apologize for being rash and irresponsible for your own well being. You had built up a grand speech, telling him how he was right and you had to take responsibility for your own actions and temper and everything that was wrong with your upbringing.

You were ready to tell him all that and more – about the shit week you’ve had, about the stupid things that made you tick – you wanted to pour your heart out with the countless words you had saved up.  You wanted to share a normal daily conversation as you had done before. As you your fingers brushed the cool door handle, you hesitated.

“I’d like to request that we please don’t make these pleasant evenings about me worrying over your injuries.”

His words echoed in your head, and you had half the mind to turn away and continue your merry life as a reckless rage machine at that point.

“The door’s unlocked, you know.”

You jolted when you heard his voice from behind the door. Well, it’d be dumb of me to chicken out at this point.

Even though it had only been a week since you had last been in there,  it felt like a whole new world to you again. Well lit and covered in books, the room contained the smell of leather and his cologne laced with the scent of drying ink and aged book pages. Was that always there? Did he get a new clock?

“Take a seat,” Ignis offered, not looking from his work. However, he gestured towards the chair you had found so much comfort in across from his desk.

You did as you were told, curling up to the deepest corner of the chair that you could. The tension between you two felt so thick it was almost hard for you to draw full breath. The comfortable silence you once had with him was no longer there. In fact, it felt more like whenever you were called into Cor’s office for causing a ruckus. You listened to the clock behind you tick while you watched his jade green eyes study the papers in front of him.

Ignis seemed more tired than usual. He had developed the barest hint of dark circles under his eyes, something that wasn’t there the week before. Even from where you sat, you could see how his lower eyelids were pink and irritated. The man’s working himself to death and has the gall to call me out on being reckless with my body, you idly thought while watching him. It was still a beautiful, hypnotic pace that he worked at. It didn’t take much more than three minutes for him to read a page and sign it or turn it over to a different neat pile of papers.

“I have to apologize for being rather inconsiderate the last time you were in here,” he confessed as he casually signed off on page thirty-four of whatever the fuck treaty they were working on. “What I said was out of line. I admit that I am regretting those words and rather missing your company the past week.”

You bit your inner lip in order not to cry. “Hey, I’m the one who’s supposed to apologize. You’ve already got so much on your plate, you really shouldn’t have to worry about someone like me. I should be responsible for my own decisions and reckless actions.”

He glanced up from page thirty-five and sighed heavily before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “On the contrary, it’s in my nature to worry about my friends, no matter how reckless they are. However, I am rather glad to hear that you are uptaking the responsibility of your care in your own hands.”

Friend. He considered you his friend. Part of you celebrated in sheer glee that he didn’t hate your guts for being a wild child. The other part of wanted to sink into the floor for realizing he thought of you as a friend only.

“There’s salve on the desk right there,” he motioned towards a tiny green jar sitting at the corner of his desk. “I had the infirmary make a new batch for you. You can have it.”

Tentatively, you reached for the jar and opened it to be greeted by the soothing scent of eucalyptus and pine resin. It smelled like comfort and the happy memories you had in that office. More than anything though, it smelled distinctly like Ignis. All was right in your world again, and your ordinary days returned to color.

For the first time in the last week, you slept without pain. You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep in his office until you woke up to a warm jacket draped over you in the next morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your breath floated up in small clouds every time you breathed out into the late January air. On the rare occasion you were allowed out of the citadel and into the city, you found yourself roaming your old stalking grounds for the sake of reminiscing. The stores came and went, and so did your old comrades. News of where you went and what you became undoubtedly traveled fast. Any connection to your old network on the streets had been cleanly cut. You weren’t one to sell them out, but they were interested in their own lives and had branded you a traitor.

“Hey, you know it’s gonna be Spec’s birthday soon,” Gladiolus commented after a rather animated chat with the granny who sold greens across the bar. He had decided that day to accompany you and get some fresh air. In all honesty, you were sure he was only going out with you to stock up on more cup noodles.

“Eh?”

“Birthday, you know, like the one party you almost crashed a year and a half ago?”

You blinked and tilted your head, trying to comprehend what he was trying to hint at.

“Birthday, you know, that thing that we do to celebrate another year of you being around? When a party is thrown in your honor and you get showered with gifts?”

“Gladiolus, I–”

“Gladio,” he promptly corrected. Somehow becoming Ignis’ friend also meant you were a friend of Gladiolus by association; thus, his profound mission to get you to start calling him by his nickname.

“Gladio. Contrary to your belief, having a birthday wasn’t exactly a necessary part of living on the streets. So there’s that…”

“Oh, well… We’ll make his party your party too,” Gladio suggested, his eyes gleaming with the idea of an even bigger party for him to attend.

“I’d rather not. Thank you. The less attention brought to me, the better. You did hire me to be trained as a spy after all,” you countered.

“Oh, right, there’s that too… I guess you’ll just have to go to Iggy’s party.”

“I suppose I will, if that will get you to stop scheming anything.”

“Ah, close enough,” he said after a small sigh. “You know…”

“Know what? There’s a lot I don’t know.”

“Well, I do know that you sound like a upright citizen of Insomnia and not some street rat I sat on a year and a half ago. The accent’s definitely improved. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were born a blue blood.”

You scoffed at the idea of being born into a prestigious family. Inwardly though,  you could feel your ego swell from the compliment. All the early hours in the library had paid off after all. “Hardly, I only had to make sure I–”

You stopped dead in your tracks as the two of you passed a jewelery store. In the window, a tiny obsidian skull pendant on a simple silver chain was on display.

“Gladio, you said that people get gifts for their birthay, right?”

“Right… Are you asking me to get that for you for your not birthday? I would have figured you to be a more cute coureal print type –”

“No, no, no. I found Ignis’ birthday present,” you breathed, your hands and nose pressed against the window in excitement. You briefly glanced at the price tag and internally winced. It would be half the allowance you had saved up for emergencies, but for a gift for the only person that you could honestly call your friend, it would be worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night before his birthday was impossibly cold. Through all the layers of clothes you had on, the tips of your fingers and toes were frigid from the cold that permeated through the citadel walls. You hastened your pace towards the office where you knew Ignis would at least have a spare blanket to curl up under if he hadn’t kept the room warm by using the fire place there.

Much to your delight, he had a cheerful fire going. The atmosphere was its usual comforting and relaxed air when you slid into his room. You sighed in relief at how warm it was. The package you hid in your pocket felt as though it was burning a hole through your pants, and you couldn’t tell if your hands were shaking with nervousness or from the cold.

The world didn’t have time to stop for anyone’s birthday, and the pile of work at Ignis’ desk seemed heavier than usual. He didn’t seem to mind, and worked right through the night as he usually did. It was almost infuriating how selfless this man was. Most anyone you knew would have wanted to do the most to get out of any responsibility they had to celebrate their birthday.

You watched him work in pleasant silence, staying hyper aware of the clock ticking behind you and the time of the night. There was a chance that your grand plan would be ruined by Noctis or Gladio bursting in once it hit midnight. You only hoped that they would be delayed by some scheme laid out by a forgiving fate that night. The heart beat louder and louder the closer it got to midnight. By the time it was five minutes prior, you could swear you were going deaf from the drumming in your ears.

Fuck it, now or never.

You nearly dropped the package with your trembling fingers as you fished it from your pocket. Doing your best to appear nonchalant and pretending to be suddenly interested in a book end by his desk, you sauntered over to get a little closer.

“Hey, Ignis, isn’t it supposed to be your birthday tomorrow?”

“Yes. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll have time for festivities. It has gotten rather chaotic in the last few months. I doubt the prince and his comrades will let me go without some sort of celebration though.”

“Yeah, Gladio seemed really dead set on you throwing you a grand party. Complete with exotic dancers and a week’s worth of fine wine.”

Ignis let out a dry chuckle. “Yes, that does sound like something that he would plan.”

Unflappable as always, he continued to systematically take down the pile of work in front of him. You leaned against his desk and gingerly pushed the package into his peripheral vision. He paused for a moment before putting down the piece of paper. “And this is?”

“A present. I’m not good at the whole wrapping thing…” you mumbled sheepishly. You had given up on wrapping the tiny gift in paper. Any attempts you had made only came out to be a lopsided mess. In the end, you opted for a soft, jade colored, silk kercheif with its corners pulled up and tied together by a ribbon. It was rather generic looking; however, it was the best you could do.

“I’d like to think it’s a rather clever solution. It’s quite the fetching color.”

You felt your heart thump as he fingered the tails of ribbon, it got increasingly harder and harder to breath as the seconds tick by. “So… uhm, are you going to open it?”

“I will in a minute,” he said, glancing up at the clock, and you noticed it was still a full minute before midnight.

The last sixty seconds seemed to drag on forever before it finally, finally struck midnight, and you watched with nervous glee as the knot that held the ribbon together was pulled away to reveal the small black box inside. He lifted the lid to find his gift nestled against dark red velvet.

“This must have cost you a fortune…” he breathed, lifting the piece of jewelery and letting the light from this desk lamp shine into the stone. “It’s lovely. But–”

“I bought it with my own money! On my honor I didn’t steal a single gil to get it.”

A smile played at his lips as he continued to watch the pendant sway gently back and forth in the warm lamplight. “I have no doubts that you had spent your own hard earned allowance on this, but you really shouldn’t have gotten me anything. A birthday is just another day that happens every year.”

“But it’s your birthday, Ignis! That’s what makes it special! I mean, not to say that you’re not special on a regular basis. But doesn’t that mean that today should be extra special because.— ”

“I’ll treasure it always.” His eyes softened, crinkling into the barest trace of a smile at your babbling, and he held the necklace out to you. “Will you do me the honor helping me put it on?”

“I.. Uh… Yeah. I guess, if that’s what you want me to do.”

“I’d like nothing more.”

Your hands were a trembling mess as you fumbled with the clasp of the necklace. It was barely secured onto his neck before the door was forcibly thrown open by Gladio, Noctis and Prompto. They all appeared bearing gifts and wine.

“HAPPY, BIRTHDAY SPECS!” they exclaimed. You yelped at the sudden intrusion and leapt backwards, crashing into one of the many bookshelves that lined his room.

“Are… we interrupting something?” Gladio asked, noticing the rather intimate scene they had interrupted.

“Eh? No! I was about to leave actually! I was just uh, stopping by!” you flailed, cautiously looking behind you to make sure you didn’t break anything. “So uh, have a good early party!” You scrambled to reach the door and save yourself form further embarrassment.

“It’d be nice for you to stay, actually. I’d enjoy the company.”

His words held you frozen in place. You slowly turned and assessed everyone in the room with wary eyes. “If… its okay with them.”

“Birthday boy’s wishes! Of course you’re welcome,” Gladio beckoned you to come back and preemptively poured you a healthy glass of wine. “Come on, I splurged on the drinks tonight!”

You accepted the cup and let the rest of the night’s good cheer warm you to your core. As cold as it was outside, his office felt like it was the warmest place in the citadel. Drinks and games were played, and lavish gifts were given to Ignis. Every now and then, you would catch Gladio casting a side glance your way and then back at Ignis. His eyes rested on the necklace resting in between his collarbones.

“It suits him,” Gladio commented softly when Ignis was distracted with keeping the prince and his best friend tamed after a rather loud round of King’s Cup.

“Yeah. It does,” you murmured in reply, enjoying the loud, yet friendly company that you were suddenly surrounded by.

~~~~~~~~

The rest of the night was drawn out by more drinking games and story telling.  Most of the games were suggested by Gladio while Noctis regaled everyone about every embarrassing moment he had that Ignis needed to clean up after.

As the night woud down to a close, Noctis and Prompto were soundly asleep on the ground, wrapped in a spare blanket. Gladio made it his duty to clean up the place as best as possible and had disappeared into the night to hide the empty wine bottles. It was back to the comforting silence you had grown accustomed to whenever you were in Ignis’ office. You could feel your eyelids becoming heavy having stayed up way later than you had initially intended.

Ignis’ warm hand rested on your shoulder, causing your eyelids to flutter open. The barest trace of a blush colored his cheeks from all the drinks that had been passed around. “It’s late, let me walk you back to your quarters.”

“Eh? I couldn’t ask you to do that. You’ve got to get sleep too!”

“You’re not asking me to do anything. I’m offering to do this.”

“I… Well, if it’s not a burden.. I guess that’s fine.”

“Then please, lead the way.”

Drinking wasn’t exactly your forte and having downed a few glasses of wine by the end of the night made your body feel extraordinarily heavy. You concentrated on making it back to your room and being able to fall face first into your bed. You focused on taking one step at a time and did your best to not sway to and fro too much. Ignis’ presence beside you made the task all the more important feeling.

You stopped at the door to your room and looked up at Ignis. Your hand rested on the door handle before they were gently pulled away. You gasped when he took your shaking fingers into his hands and gently rubbed them to get some circulation in them.

“It’s this cold, and you still don’t own a pair of gloves?” he chided.

You found it difficult to look at him and suddenly found great interest in the details carved into the door handle to your room. “It’s not that cold…” you pouted. “It’s been worse.”

“I’m sure it has, but it doesn’t mean that you have to live like that,” he said, letting go after he was satisfied with how warm your hands were.

You dropped them listlessly to your side and continued to try and find new things that you hadn’t noticed about your door handle. You squeaked when you felt his hands in yours again, this time without his gloves.

Wait, what? Didn’t he have them on just a second ago?

Your internal questions were answered when he pressed his leather gloves into your hands. “They may be a bit big… But they’ll do for now, I suppose. Gladio explained to me that you didn’t recall your birthday. Since we’ve already celebrated one today, I don’t see a reason why we couldn’t celebrate another at the same time.”

You blushed deeply and were forever grateful that it was dark enough for him to not realize this. “Wait, Ignis are you saying—”

“Yeah, Happy birthday to you too,” he whispered, gently pulling your head towards him and planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “I apologize for not having the foresight to plan a better planned gift.”

You could still feel his body heat emanating from the gloves in your hands, and you felt tears threatening to fall from the corner of your eyes.  You were still reeling from the whirlwind of activities that happened that night. You held the gloves to your face, enjoying how soft they felt against your cheeks.

“I’ll treasure them always,” you whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a hushed sort of rush that surrounded the citadel when Noctis’ engagement was announced. The energy was electric, and Ignis made himself rather scarce. You missed frequenting his office to chat, but you knew his duty was above all other matters. It was the day before Noctis was to leave, and you found yourself looking frantically for Ignis for one last chance to let him know how grateful you were for everything he did. You didn’t know when the next time you would see him would be, and it was your last chance to give him the words that he deserved.

You caught him early in the morning, walking down a corridor alone. Calling out too him, you rushed to catch up to where he was. “Hey, I have to tell you something. Can we talk real quick?” you pulled him aside towards a quieter corridor.

“Of course, what can I do for you? It’s rather rare that you’d visit me in the morning,” he mused.

There were only two words that needed to be said, and they wouldn’t come out. With all that happened between the two of you, the only things that you wanted to say seemed eternally frozen at the back of your throat. The Royal Advisor stood there, waiting for what you were going to say, and the god damned words wouldn’t come out. All of the ease you felt from your previous conversations had gone and died. You opened your mouth to start saying something, but no sound came out.

“Is there something wrong?”

Not at all, why would anything be wrong? You’ve given me color to life, and an actual life to be proud of, how could there be anything wrong?

“Uhm, if it’s not anything important, I’ve got matters to attend to, may we speak about it later?”

“I-I…” Say it, you dumb ass, what’s wrong with you? “Yeah, we can talk about it later. ”

Ever the gentleman, he bowed slightly before turning away and walking towards his appointments for the day.

Watching his retreat back, something in the back of your mind told you you might never see him again. The fates had granted you this treasure of a man, and yet the countless times you were grateful for all he did, for all his patience, you had never expressed it. This was your last chance. Even if you did see him again, the same feeling told you he would never be the same man again. It was now or never.

“Ignis! Wait!” you called out, jogging to catch up to him.

“Hm?”

“Thank you. For everything. Thank you… You know.”

A smile. A pure, genuine smile graced his lips, and he reached out to gently stroke your hair. You felt your heart racing at your throat at the gentle gesture. He seemed to be lost in a daze as he touched your hair. You found yourself wanting to look away, but convinced yourself at the same time that if you blinked, that smile would be gone.

“I know. Of course,” he whispered before turning away again.

You prayed that the next time, in the future, when the two of you saw each other again, he would give you that smile again.

Truly. Forever, truly, you know, truly thank you.

– Fin –