#tldr just a beautiful boy who was consumed by hurt - just like his peers

[pinkflipphonez]

alexa, play 'playboy of the western world' by connie converse pls

[deviationdivine]

Only If For a Night (RK800-60 x reader)

TLDR: You let yourself succumb to this but he isn’t the one you want...

Word Count:  2403

TW: Angst, Light Smut

Fantasy overshadows people’s lives to the point of forgetting what reality is. For a few hours you forget tangling amid sheets twisting around two beings falling into one another. Long shadows dancing a ballet across wall created a scene of veiled intimacy.

Mingling in the soft cotton your body sinks under power of hot flesh and shuddering breaths. It is unruly, desperate and needful. A lust consumed by selfish decisions. A lust that you want elsewhere but writhing beneath him satiated your craving. 

Closing your eyes opens a floodgate of emotions that not only fool you but him. Consciously blinding yourself gave you what you want. If you can’t see the truth does it count? 

It feels good in the moment. Wrapping yourself up into his toned body, hands sweeping your skin, kisses wet and sucking hard over your pulse. A track mark on your flesh reminds you when sinking back to reality.

All you feel now is disgust. Inhibited in the bed you chose but the thrill comes to a screeching halt when it ends.  Dancing images of swaying branches form through frosty window pane in a waking crescendo tugging you back and creating a most impressive show across room in place of your previous shadow play.

It certainly held better interest than what you no longer want glued like a second skin, a scab to pick off and discard. You think dropping him off in a landfill will be a better end for you both.

Tilting head away and staring at the spot on the bedroom wall didn’t prevent him gathering arms around your body. Holding on and pressing up into bare back like a starving kitten craving warmth from its mother. Sappy, you think, fawning over you and making you shift to untangle. It isn’t enough to relay your disinterest.

He places a flurry of kisses into neck and against shoulder. Skimming every inch of your skin he can find, to taste how delicious you were to his sensors. Clutching on with an eager giddiness almost and you wonder if they even become giddy. They claim to feel so many things once deviant and you believe that but this isn’t reawakening any passion. It only furthers your ire as it twists in your expression bathed in a steady blue glow for once tonight until you can no longer stand pretending.

You shrug forcibly. Dislodging from his ministrations, your breath seethes through teeth. “Stop it,” your voice is throaty in irritation in place of pleasure.

One thing you never asked for is cuddling. All you asked for is sex nothing more, nothing less. Straight to the point which only led you astray because it is too good. Sicker than you started and realizing that pushes your anger out against him.

Two to tango is a stupid saying. You won’t believe in it. Not for this phony construct. The only person you want true affection from, to hold and kiss you all over  is – Connor. 

Instead, this is where you find yourself giving him what he wants when you never wanted him yourself.

A flood of crimson burns his temple next. Syncing in stressful flickers reveals his deepest insecurities. Even after experiencing a long night of passionate sex with you his frown betrays doubt. 

You make him this way. How can he love something that makes him hate what he is not? The android’s expression fell into what you think is a pitiless frown.

“Y/N…”

Dragging in a whine almost turned your name into a simpering invocation wishing to bring him what he desires. Calling upon a higher power did not answer because nothing would change your true feelings towards him.

The flashing red crests over your cheek as he leans closer. It’s a sign for how lost he looks but you ignore it. Keeping your back facing him both avoids witnessing and showing your disgust. A small mercy that you feel is enough.

So weak in his infatuation and you lead him on to fulfill what you can’t have. Allowing their identical model to push this hot burn through veins coiled you together in a night of passion. You pretended from the moment you came to him. He assumed he won your affection.

Repeating your name in a silent prayer, his lips press hopeful again to warm skin. Another nudge answers to tear down his dream of holding you tightly and whispering sweetly against ear. Was it just fantasy now or from the start he is simply deluded.

“Leave me alone.” Warning him in a scoff is kinder than what swirls in your brain. Separating entirely pushes you up to sit as covers yank in your hands. Moving away towards farthest side of bed becomes a cruel torture. Of course you knew that it would be. This is what he asked for. He deserves it for not being Connor.

Is it not your choice? Were you not the one who came to him, begging for his touch mere hours ago? Swallowing any trace of a conscience gives you power over your emotions. It’s too late for that. Sadly you know.

RK800-60 reaches out in a final attempt to bring you back into his arms. Stretching fingers up to caress collarbone, he wants to bury his face in your neck to drink in this longing you curse him with.

“Please, look at me. I want nothing more. We… Y/N, we made love.” 

His voice turns forceful, hoping to conjure enough of himself to stop falling back to his pre-deviated remorselessness. It draws close under his surface as he fights.

You find it uninteresting. Paying no attention to the fissures cracking in the android sinking before you there’s only that ‘L’ word making your insides churn. Love is something that you crave. Itching beneath skin, harboring deep in your tissue and turning insides like a scalding iron. Plaintive delusions believing he can fan this flame. His head is full of misconceptions involving your feelings.

No. An impenetrable need blooms for the real one. Not a mirror image that only became deviant by force, converted to prevent the end of a successful rebellion.

You knew of what happened. Before, during and after their revolution, you hear plenty of stories. All of that is before Connor came into your life. Wanting him in your life in a different way past the foundations of friendship didn’t come to fruition. The longer this ache grew the more you couldn’t wait to have him.

Settling for something that looks like him is both an all encompassing sin, lascivious in nature, speaking out to your inner most appetites. Lust is one of seven for a reason. It’s also a stupid mistake. Knowing full well that RK800-60 is in love with you didn’t stop you taking advantage.

“I would do anything to be the one to shelter, plant myself around you. Y/N, I will do and give anything to see you smile.” The android’s voice filters in glitches and shows what deviancy turns him to. No longer a raging storm but mawkish drone cut down in swells of humanity.

Tracing a forefinger along lips that didn’t upturn sent ripples of stress throughout system. This is far more than physical pain. His deviancy is not of his choice but it broke him in ways that he must hold onto.

Sixty, as you call him, craves this. All he can do is watch how you long for Connor. This moment he believes can be different. Finally, he won your affections but it unravels before the poor boy’s eyes.

“I will give anything. My own heart from my chest, the thirium pump I will rip it out for you. Please, Y/N, tell me what you want and I will do it! He wouldn’t do any of these things!”

You snap around to face him for the first time. All you want to do is make him feel what those words mean, palm connecting sharply with his chiseled cheekbone.

Immediately, you clasp your hand and lean back into headboard. Damn him! Damn him for making you react. A prick of tears threatens but you hold them in fiercely.

Cool hands came up in a flux to soothe immediately. Sixty felt everything as all deviants do. Even when you are the cause of his pain, he jumps to help ease yours. He suffers for this love but he still cannot allow you to.

Kissing atop knuckles to alleviate your pain laid his heart bare. You already caged his. If it must be crushed he will let you squeeze until it turns into dust. “I am sorry,” he murmured between tiny kisses. “I love you. I-I love you, Y/N. Please let me.”

A flicker of guilt shined in your eyes. The way he swoops in to caress and kiss you after hurting him is both sad and despicable.

Your eyes close to listen to him utter unwanted affections. Connor’s voice is identical in its raspy dulcet but there is still a difference with RK800-60 resonating with such unadulterated melancholy. It transcends from his longing that he assumes you gave into. You gave into your own pain. 

Quickly you pull away along with the rest of your body sliding out of bed. Leaving him on purpose set you on a mission to pick up strewn clothes.

“Y/N, come back.”

“No,” you hissed. “I told you to leave me alone.”

“But I love you,” he insisted rougher this time. “Do you not know what I would sacrifice to achieve this!” 

Shades of Cyberlife Tower, his menacing monologue pre-deviancy crept in clashing with his emotional overload. As an android it is too much! “Tonight we were together! Y/N!”

You pull around under a pair of strong hands unyielding in their clutch. RK800-60 loomed tall, pale picturesque and nude as the day he was created.  

Your body shivers peering into his face the mirror image of Connor. God, why couldn’t it be him? Why can’t you stop herself from wanting to throw this pathetic fool onto his back and have your way with him again? It’s only his likeness fueling this incessant need. That’s what brought you to this in the beginning. There is nothing inside your heart for this imposter. He is a means of fulfilling something elusive and beautiful. If only for a night but now as far as you’re concerned it’s over.

“Let go,” you spat at him like a docile AX400. After his deviancy he might as well be. Absolutely nothing but a waste of artificial space, something to be scorned for looking like the very thing you can’t have. The fact this one loves you instead makes everything that much more hateful. 

You hate him for what he is and what he made you do. “Get your hands off me. Or you’ll never see me again!”

RK800-60’s face became a canvas of anguish flickering as rapidly as his blazing red LED. Releasing your arms force him to fall further into the monster of unrequited love. Despite having you tonight he realizes it was only a game.

“Connor will never love you,” his voice grew static and resolute. “If he did he would have already seen what I saw. He will never give you all of himself as I will!”

Digging words into you didn’t help his chances. In fact it’s better to scoff now as you hastily pull clothes back on. “To think I let myself fall into your arms because I couldn’t wait…”

Your words are not hard to decipher. Twisting a knife to his artificial heart bled him dry to the truth he stubbornly ignores. 

“You gave yourself to me because I am his twin!” The android’s voice trembles in fury. Blindly he allows himself to think once, just once, you want him. Little did he realize this is not born of confusion in your human feelings but out of pure cruelty to his! “You pretended I was Connor the entire time!”

Shaking a head took you several steps backwards at the ferocity tumbling out of him. It only reveals him as that terror sent to destroy; the one you only heard tales of. Those tales did him no good. He will never be Connor.

What did he think? How stupid is he to believe there is another reason. That’s on him isn’t it? You try to convince yourself it’s not your doing. He’s the one living an illusion.

“Please, Sixty,” the mocking breath pegs him for what he truly is. “As if you thought I chose to be in love with you when I first came here. This is exactly what you wanted. Don’t pretend you would’ve turned me away. I know you RK800-60.” Spitting a serial number answers everything you saw him as and it’s less than nothing.

He is a number just a duplicate of something more. That’s what he always will be and you’ll remind him with no regard to his so-called feelings. “I know your heart. It beats for me. But I don’t care. I don’t care about you because you’re not him.”  

With that harsh reality you turn to bedroom door in a swift escape. All you leave behind is a broken android full of your thorns burrowing deep in his circuits. Staring where you left keeps him stiff until every seam snaps in his system. His body moves precise and indomitable searching for something to destroy. 

Thrusting knuckles connect to wall and dent the plaster. Brittle against strength it sinks in easily similar to a caving skull. He watches in heated fascination. In his mind Connor’s head smashes to pieces.

Something burns in RK800-60’s eyes. The flood of rage consumes him, transforms him into that whirlwind at Cyberlife. He falls so easily. He falls because you were his but now you’re gone. All he wants is to destroy his ‘brother’ to make him feel what he feels.

So he plans. He plans to crush what you desire. Even if you will never obtain it the idea of it fuels him leading him astray to that very thing originally sent to snuff Connor’s existence.

Emotions are weakness. His are twisted by the grace of your rejection.