#tldr: eunah ): but then eunah (:

[eunahfmdarchive]

painting - partial lyrics + partial composition credit. date: early january 2020 / may 2020. word count: 834, excluding lyrics. mentions of eunah’s ex from last year. also, i almost forgot but there’s a reference to the climb in here, yeehaw. ALSO CW: some minor allusions to eunah’s eating and body image issues, and some discussion of sex ( totally non-explicit ). so sorry, i am very tired and forgot to say this in my haste to post.

she should still be enjoying mezzanine and its title track’s success, and a successfully wrapped set of promotions, but eunah can’t. instead, she listens back to the mini-album and feels bittersweet about it already, cringing as she hears the cheery notes of i’m not in love with you’s intro play. the title and the lyrics were supposed to be tongue in cheek, poking fun at their slowness to admit their feelings to one another. now, the title is just simple fact. she’s not in love with him. that’s fine, the feeling is mutual. 

still, she can’t get him off her mind. eunah wonders why she didn’t dedicate this much time to thinking about him when they were together. is she too cold? is it because of her hyper focus on her album? is it because of her body? anything but that. she’d like to believe all the sweet things he said were true. that’s how she wants to remember their time together. 

eunah’s no artist, but she still doodles something that looks a little bit like him in the margins of her notebook. 

at a misty dawn i paint you the clouds that i painted with a brush make me remember you i paint you again ... the moonlight is coming in i open my eyes and quietly be with you again

‘painting’ sounds nicer than ‘drawing’, as far as she’s concerned. the scenes she imagines, the memories she conjures up when she recalls their time together look better as paintings too. eunah imagines them moving through life animated like they’re in loving vincent.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the memories of you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m afraid there’s no one here

her thoughts and feelings look so dramatic written down, almost erring on the silly side once she’s read them over a couple of times. eunah sniffs back a tear, shutting her eyes tight for a second before leaning back on her window sill perch and laughing. she wonders, does she really care this much about this guy? about this relationship that couldn’t make it through one promotional cycle? that obviously means that they ended for the best, right?

or does this mean something more? would any relationship be able to withstand her busy schedule? eunah’s had her fair share of lovers, more than she thought she would. ( the total is three. ) but either it’s never gone past the stage of purely physical and friendly motivations or the earliest stages of real feelings. even this had only lasted a couple of months. 

eunah figures she’s probably a dime a dozen. it wouldn’t take long for a guy to find a girl like her who isn’t so busy, or who isn’t so sad. a girl like her, except she’s more willing to put out. that’s okay too. eunah wishes she could be a bit more like that girl, wherever she is, and a little less like the sad sack sitting with her head against the windowpane.

when you call my name when you stroke my hair the promises between you and me i’m falling down i can’t tell you, please love me come to me and hug me yes, i’m common i’m just a common girl

discouraged in spite of her recent emotional progress, it’s months before eunah revisits the song. she’s not so cut up anymore, and has her sights set on someone else. she cringes at how raw she’d apparently been back in january, but she sees potential in the pages nonetheless. she’s been thinking lately, how she’d like to write something simple that’s still an ear worm, something that builds upon itself as it goes. sitting at her piano, eunah fiddles around with the words of the lyrics for a handful of hours so that they line up better with the melody she’s trying to create, until the syllables fall perfectly into place. by the time her phone alerts her to say that it’s three in the morning so she should get her ass in bed, for once, eunah can say with no doubt in her heart that she is quite pleased with herself.

it’s comforting to think that even her worst experiences can turn into something useful. eunah never expected for her road to recovery to be an easy one, and she always knew there would be setbacks, but to come out of one mostly unscathed feels better than she’d expected. there’s no mountain she wouldn’t climb now, not like before when she shied away. it doesn’t matter how fast she gets there, or what’s on the other side. she can only assume there’d always be another mountain. isn’t that how life goes?

eunah smiles as she drifts off to sleep, satisfied and proud. not just because of the song.

the next day, while her good mood is still leading the way, eunah finishes the melody for what she thinks will be the chorus of a song. she enjoys playing around with it, using her and lux’s home studio to record herself singing it a few different ways. softer, more like a whisper. then, powerful, belting out the woes within. they’re not her own worries anymore, and singing them doesn’t hurt her at all. like she’s rehearsing for a musical, eunah gets into character for her final recording take. 

she’s a girl, looking out at the snow on a winter night, and she’s afraid she’s unlovable, maybe even cursed.

and when the recording is over, eunah is a girl wheeling back and forth in an office chair, smiling to herself as she anticipates a good summer. 

[fmdjoosungarchive]

location: mostly recording studios

date: july n august probably

word count: 1112

tldr; verification for @eunahfmd’s give more care less. full composition, partial production. lots of mentions of eunah, one specific mention of @fmdminjung. this is more or less 1k words of sung saying eunah should be a supastar

sung never thought he’d reach a point in his life where fellow idols came to him asking him to write them a song. he must have looked like an awkward statue before eunah, a deer in the headlights, a scared owl.

and, that was part of it as well, eunah being the one to request a composition from him. they’d worked and hung around each other enough by that point that sung would call them friends. he’d hoped she felt the same about him, but he’d learned as a trainee that he couldn’t always expect someone else to agree with him on that. her asking him to write a song for her was certainly a good sign in that direction, though.

eventually, probably much too late, sung had gotten control over his brain function again to the point he could seriously consider the request. for about a second. maybe a second and a half. -of course sung would want to write a song for eunah, especially because she’d asked. he’d written for her, directly or indirectly, twice before. he was well enough acquainted with and fond of her vocal chords to want to take them out on a songwriting date.

sung reacted enthusiastically, once he’d wrapped his head around the concept enough. subconscious as it was, he knew eunah was a more reserved person than him, certainly not someone he’d want to get the wrong idea of his gratitude. it colored his reaction, but it also influenced his second move, as the gears starting turning, and he had to wonder what it is she might want. he’d asked, figuring they would sit down together and discuss her intentions of path as a soloist, her inspirations, her goals. but she surprised him first, with lyrics. in the end, he still had a chat with her about her expectations, though the lyrics he’d received had already begun the spinning process.

soft, but not soft like i usually do soft.

something different. eunah wanted to express herself in a different way, and sung was pretty sure he could help make that happen. the second he’d had free time, he pulled up the lyrics eunah had given him, and got to work.

what has struck him most, at first, was the feeling that this person, whether it was eunah, minjung, or someone fictional, was working hard to convince themselves that they didn’t care for whomever they sung about. in most songs, or really just most places in the world, sung saw romance, but here, it read like a friendship, one that had fallen apart. the singer wanted their friend to stop caring, to make it easier for the both of them, just as much as they wanted themselves to stop caring. bittersweet in nature, the dissonance between what the mind desires, and what it gives itself.

that concept brought him through to his first draft. creating a song that was too sonically dissonant might be out of the realm of what dimensions would be willing to give her to release, and might come too close to the high beats of mezzanine. something too simple like a typical ballad would be too close to her earlier releases, not to mention, didn’t seem like it would fit the lyrics well. it was this thought space of in between that left his fingers plucking out whatever piano keys they wanted, until he thought... it was possible to make a song that sounded simplistic, but still required an irregular amount of maximum effort to make.

sung plucked around until a light, plinking piano string came together. short as it was, he could always come back to it if he wanted to add more. he recorded the short piece, then recorded his snaps on top, a basic rhythm. then, a series of mouth sounds, different popping and hisses to play around with, before a few different series of claps. the last piece of the puzzle, one of his homemade percussion shakers, came only after he’d pieced together all of those elements into a few forms that sounded nice. he checked back in with eunah, to get her opinions, change things around, until they both felt satisfied with a concept to begin the song on.

that ended up being the main component of the song, a build up to get the listener used to the format, just before taking it apart again to rebuild in different forms.

and though he’d gotten decent to good feedback on the song after it’s completion, sung wasn’t entirely sure if he’d made the right call until he heard it through the speakers of the recording booth. sung couldn’t say he knew too much about eunah’s entire album, but from what he was learning right there about give more care less, it proved what a versatile singer eunah could be. her voice stretched from the belts of live stage, to the staccato rhythm of experimental jazz pop, to this, relaxed r’n’b vocals that bordered on speaking at times.

if anything, his biggest note was to relax even further. trained by musicals, her inclination seemed to be to care too much, pardon the pun. he suggested she let her jaw fall, and let the words come out without lifting her jaw again. it wasn’t a perfect scenario, too dramatic to produce anything that sounded ready for print, but it was really to train her mouth to glide from syllable to syllable, instead of the clear pronunciation of the stage.

at one point, sung even realized he hadn’t been speaking as much as his production partner --a rare feat considering how much he often had to offer to people they worked with together, and how much of a man of few words the other was. really, sung was just pleased with all the eunah managed to do. and not only with her vocals, but her career as a whole. he hoped dimensions appreciated what they had in front of them.

his thoughts drifted back to that, while he was working on the production. his other producer had left for a moment, only leaving sung’s mind to wander. undoubtedly, with her vocals in his ears for the last couple of hours, sung thought of eunah. even after five years in the industry, it felt to him like she was still untapped potential, that wasn’t quite appreciated as much as she should be. there were so many genres that an idol like her could suit, and make her own. if sung had the chance to work with her again, he thought, he’d like to try to break that final wall, and set her free to experiment in anything she might want.

[eunahfmdarchive]

#zero:attitude / eunah’s solo stage at the mini-concert on july 31. word count: 526. tw: references to eating disorders.

would it be better to open or close the show with zero:attitude? she’s read the set list, she knows that they’re opening with it, but she thinks it might have made more sense to close with it. whatever. the sooner they perform it, the sooner she can just let herself forget the choreography and lyrics. eunah’s been promoting basically non-stop for the last eleven days solo, and then before that with her members, her scalp is still itchy from the bleach and pink dye she’d hoped she’d never have to see again after latata, and she doesn’t remember the last time she had a proper meal. it’s like all of her progress doesn’t matter to dimensions, as if they’re determined to overwork her all the way back to square one.

but hey, at least she has some complimentary pepsi zero sugar to down before she goes out on stage. eunah holds the can, almost big enough to require two hands to hold, up to her face and squints to read the nutritional values, scanning for that one all important word. caffeine. right, there it is. an idol’s best friend. she’ll be fine.

the stage goes off without a hitch, luckily. eunah’s sparkly top reflects up at her throughout the choreography somehow, and that’s a little annoying, but after three short minutes, eunah can finally expunge all information for zero:attitude from her mind, rushing in lots of newly freed up space for dumdi dumdi next month. the vcr starts, and eunah’s vaguely aware of staff rounding up the first few of them up for their solo stages as she drags her feet to the sofa in her shared dressing room. it’s blocky and leather, but with her fluffy cardigan tucked beneath her head, it suffices as a napping space for the fifteen or so minutes available to her. 

she’s woken up to the sounds of sooah’s solo stage starting, the cheers of fuse’s youngest’s name coming from the crowd barely registering in her ears. she blinks herself back to alertness, purposely ignoring her manager’s furrowed, concerned brow, while a member of the styling team touches up her hair and makeup. it’s all a little disturbed on the side she’d been asleep on, but by the time the stylist has worked her two minute magic, eunah looks refreshed and ready to go out on stage. or maybe it’s just the caffeine finally kicking in.

for her solo stage, eunah performs so-so, just as she had been doing day in and day out for the last three weeks. she’s thankful for its success, nerves assuaged by the audience’s apparent familiarity with her song, so she doesn’t mind performing it again and again. she sees it, and any of her other songs when they were successful, as a sort of security blanket. 

for every success, they hang on a little longer. 

she scampers off stage with both her hands waving, ducking as the vcr snaps onto the stage’s background. she can rest now, until she’s woken up again to deliver her ending ment ... or maybe she should stay awake, and down some more of the damn drink she’s advertising.

[fmdjoosungarchive]

location: gold star studio

date: july,, smth,,,

word count: 1572

tldr; audition for our songs. sung decides to do a remix cover of artist by seyeon(rip) npc and answer questions as he goes. mentions of @fmdjoohwan @eunahfmd @fmdtaeyong @fmdsooyeon @fmdxsuji @fmdbyul (whoops forgot to add those mentions in before)

when sung first heard base was launching two new shows, he wasn’t surprised that gold star staff came to him saying he ought to send in auditions. he’d looked over the prompts, and while both of the show concepts seemed interesting, what really grabbed his attention was ‘our songs’.

it shouldn’t have. he knew that. he was already so busy, and trying to write songs for his own album, and for element, and for other friends who requested music from him. if this show was like what he’d heard from others of the same type, he’d have to be writing songs regularly while on the show, for the show, no matter what he was doing behind the scenes as well. and yet, even knowing all of that, he impatiently waited until he had some time alone in one of gold star’s studios to film his questions and record his cover.

the producers of the show might look favorably on him using a studio to film this, he thought, which in turn made him sigh internally at himself for trying to appeal to the casting directors like he was.

in his slivers of time between schedules, sung thought often of what cover he might want to do. although there were so many artists he admired that he’d love to cover, most of the artists he liked were singers, and sung wasn’t sure if the show was looking for him to dip outside of the rap zone. it wasn’t show me the money, but gold star didn’t let him sing as much as he wanted, so the show probably wouldn’t either.

he contemplated options for a long while, before landing on artist, a song he’d written with a friend in mind. it would show his previous songwriting, and give him the opportunity to show what else he could do with a song, at once. and, bonus, he had the track dissected already since he wrote the composition himself.

it was this composition he loaded into a computer in the studio, as his phone ran a video of him off to the side. he greeted the camera warmly, introduced himself, and explained that he was going to be working on the composition of his cover while he answered questions.

as his chair swiveled back to face the computer, he immediately started off by removing elements from the song. although he liked the mess of sounds he’d ended up with when writing the song, it wasn’t him. the goal was to scale back, and keep the bright tone, while slowing everything down into more of the ‘beats to relax and study to’ vibe. at his current place in songwriting, that’s where he felt his heart most. of the small amount of his next album he’d written, that was the only sound he’d managed to fish out for himself.

working bit by bit, listening to what he’d done through the one side of his headphones cupped over his ear, he looked off to the side to check out what the first question was. “anything i come across can inspire me. this song, for example, it started because when i was at the company building, someone was going to throw away a coffee can, and for some reason, i was struck with inspiration to use it as percussion. most of the time what ends up inspiring me, is the people close to me. my element members, or friends, a lot of the songs that are released by them that i wrote were written with them in mind. my friends are very inspiring as people and artists.”

he paused his answering, then, to explain what he’d done with the composition, and show the camera a work-in-progress version of what he had so far. “i’m hoping to get a basis of a few of the elements i recorded for it, and re-record everything so it’s accurately concise.” the phone was replaced back on its spot, while he kept working more, speaking up now and again to explain if he’d done something important.

then, “my favorite song, ah, i’m not sure. i have quite a lot of love for hello tutorial, which origin’s joohwan and 7rophy’s eunah performed, because it was my first composition that was released outside of element. but, i feel a bit more particularly proud of one of my own songs from my first album, in sensitivity. the intro, it’s called sad memories. i’d spent such a long time trying to rework it to be the best it could be that i was pushing my due date. it’d gotten to the point the company was telling me if i didn’t finish it all myself, it wouldn’t be on the album. but i’d really wanted to challenge myself to make a piano piece i could feel proud of. i ended up doing that, in the end. i think it’s a really beautiful addition to my album, and i’m glad i was able to finish it well.”

by that point, the composition had been stripped down enough for sung to work with it. he wasn’t planning on touching the coffee can percussion, as he told the camera, because that was the original beginning of the song that he wanted to preserve, but everything else was going to be reworked. despite the tonality of his words, he still sat at the computer, using his digital landscape to give him a rough idea of what he was going to re-record or record for the first time, so that when it came to the recording, it could be swift, in little soundbytes for whichever gold star employee edited this to work through.

in the meantime, he decided to answer the next question. “um, yeah, there are a lot of songwriters i admire. many that aren’t idols, but in terms of idols, byul sunbaenim is one of my all-time biggest idols. i’ve been blessed enough to be in the same company as her, and have been around for the majority of her career, to see her grow and blossom as an artist. the songs she writes and performs are so healing to me, as well. she’s definitely someone i look after when i’m writing music for myself. i also particularly admire idols like knight’s taeyong, wish’s vivienne, and fuse’s suji who have such strong solo careers that they’ve participated in, despite having such busy group schedules.”

the composition didn’t sound great at this point. sung wasn’t really planning on sharing this portion of it with the camera, though he continued to point out details as he went. re-recording was the best choice here, that much he knew. although, it was coming to a close, something he could work with and base his recordings off of, so he answered the second to last question. “it may seem small, but my goal as a songwriter is to simply make music people enjoy. i’ve never been one to hold too much towards awards, or chart numbers. what matters most to me is that i make music that i enjoy, that people i make music for enjoy what i’ve made, and that their fans and mine enjoy it as well.” he finished, then, and turned to the camera to finish his answer, “in general, i’d like to write for all different kinds of genres, and become better at more instruments so i can more easily make songs.” and with that, sung clapped and told the camera he was going to be recording now.

he started with the piano piece, which ended up sounding more reminiscent of the original version than what ended up in the final product. something more personal to him. next was the guitar lines, then some secondary percussion.

for the simplistic version, that was enough. he moved his phone then setting it up in a different space to watch him as he did recordings. he started with the main melody lyrics, going through that a few times, padding back to the computer to realign what he’d done. usually, he’d take longer to solidify the base before adding adlibs and harmonies, but here, he went back to the microphone quickly, so there wasn’t much dead air. he spoke as he went, telling the camera about every step of the way, why he did things the way he did.

after recording, he set the phone back up on the desk, facing him again from an angle, and decided to wait on finalizing the production of the track until he finished this vlog. the last question stumped him, a little. he told the camera as much, with a small laugh following. “hm, uh, i think, there’s so much to gain from being around other songwriters. i’d like to learn from them, for us all to feed off of one another. it would give me more connections, give me other people to write with in the future, show me methods and thought processes i wouldn’t have thought of before. i write most often on my own, so i don’t often get to see those sorts of things. i hope, mainly, to become a better songwriter. that’s always my goal, every time i sit in a place like this. and i hope you’ll all want me on your show. thank you for listening and watching all of this. have a good day.” and with that, he reached forward to turn the video off, and start working on the cover’s production.

[fmdjoosungarchive]

location: gold star building

date: may 10th

word count: 438

tldr; sung comes to describe the concept to the oh! my mistake girls, wont shut up about how pretty they are and how well they fit the concept. mentions of all the girls, but more lines abt sophie and yujin

sung couldn’t have asked for a better group to perform his song than this. sooah and eunah, two of the kindest people he knew, yena, one of the funniest people he knew, all with beautiful voices he couldn’t wait to mold. and, to top it off, sophie and yujin were in the group too.

he’d yet to work with sophie in a song preparation capacity, and the idea was infinitely exciting. their main connection came from corey, being her brother, but over the years, sung really came to enjoy sophie’s company by itself. something about her energy lifted sung up. which, was the same way he felt about yujin.

her case was different. even more than being his group member, and having worked on several releases with her for element over their years together, they’d also produced two of yujin’s solo songs together. or, he’ll be producing the second for her as soon as they both had the time to get back in the studio for her album. case in point, sung knew how yujin expressed herself and her work when recording music. and if the time sheet the other producer gave him before heading out to meet the girls was accurate, yujin would be the first he’d record with. --he’d briefly wondered if that was purposeful.

as a group, the girls were magical. every single one of them was gorgeous, with wonderful talents to match. and they were here, to perform his own song. if he didn’t know any better, sung might have thought it was a dream.

he was sent out to greet the girls on his own, maybe as a filter, an easy glide into the process through the comfort of another idol. sung thought he must have looked like a teacher of some sort, with his clipboard tucked into his elbow and glasses framing his face. not nearly as glamorous as the girls naturally were.

when he wrote his demo version of oh! my mistake, it didn’t have any lyrics. it was only when a producer he’d worked with once before approached him to work on making it into a full demo. while they worked, sung told the producer that he’d been hoping to making an upbeat girl group song with a retro feeling, and after some discussions of the state of girl groups and the public, they came to the conclusion that they wanted to write a song for a group of girls to talk themselves up.

and this group of pretty, lovely girls were a more perfect lineup than he could have thought back when he and that producer had worked together.

[eunahfmdarchive]

christmas bells.

when: december 24 2019. where: eunah’s living room. mentions: n/a. word count: 736.

tw: eating disorder. tldr: eunah’s family come to visit her for christmas and stage somewhat of an intervention, and they’re relieved at her receptiveness. this is kind of bad but i wanted to get it out before the end of the year!! writing and promoting her mini-album really helped eunah so much in terms of working out what she wanted for herself and what the next steps to get better would be, so this is the follow up to all of the good emotional things ‘mezzanine’ did for her. also her family love her, and she’s got a long road ahead but she’s stepped onto it and i :) 

eunah’s cheeks are flushed pink and laughs escape her throat easier than they have in a long time. looking around her cozily decorated living room and seeing her family’s faces dimly lit up by her christmas lights, there’s such a swelling of joy in her chest. 

they drink, they eat. eunah drinks, and she eats a little. she doesn’t miss the way all four pairs of eyes train on her as she plops a piece of meat into her mouth. eunah swallows her food with a smile - making more of an effort than she has in a long time. it feels excruciatingly heavy when it lands in her stomach, and as much as she wants to panic, eunah makes sure to remind herself that it’s okay. it’s a start. writing ‘mezzanine’ changed something in her. it’s rewarding, cathartic and painful all at once to perform the lyrics she wrote. it’s a strange mix of emotions for her to process, but it’s a useful one too. 

she managed to get a lot off of her chest through writing it, and surprisingly even more through performing it. it’s the closest thing she’s gotten to the emotional release acting provides her while being authentically herself, rather than while submerging herself in a role. eunah came to one conclusion: it’s time to start working on herself. after all these years, after all she’s achieved - because although she’s no wish or fuse member, she has achieved a lot, and she’s able to say that now - eunah has to stop assigning all of her self worth to her weight.

it won’t be easy, but she’s heard that there’s no way to recover but one day at a time, and to do it for yourself. 

“um,” eunah starts, catching the tension in the air. her family aren’t stupid. they see her so infrequently, but they still have eyes, they still know who she used to be. no - who she still is. she hasn’t reconciled those two identities within herself ... yet. she will. she’s still that girl, she’s still happy like she was before, more so these days than ever in recent years. eunah doesn’t get to start her sentence properly before eunji jumps in, shuffling closer to her on the couch and taking her hand.

“eunah, we don’t wanna ruin your christmas but,” typical eunji, eunah has to crack a smile. she wonders if her eldest sister volunteered, or if her parents and eunbin told her she would be the best fit for the job, with her way of making even the most dire of situations just a little lighter. “we’re worried about you.” eunji takes one of eunah’s hands in both of hers and for a second, her expression falters. a quick glance around the room alerts eunah to the fact that everyone else is looking similarly somber. she feels a pang of guilt, biting her tongue to stop herself from crying. it has been easy to ignore their worries all these years with the distance between them. “we know you’re not taking care of yourself. have you considered, like, a therapist?”

tears start to roll down eunah’s face and she quickly wipes them away with the back of her hand, then starts to laugh. she looks from face to face and nods earnestly. “i’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, actually,” eunah admits, choking out something between a laugh and a sob. “really, i have! i ... thought about my life a shit ton while i was writing ‘mezzanine’ and,” she takes a deep breath, and wipes away the last of her tears, barking out a relieved chuckle. “and i’m not. i’m not taking care of myself. i haven’t been for a long time.”

eunbin and her parents leap up from their places, and soon, four pairs of arms are wrapped tightly around her. there are tears, but there’s also laughter, and promises to help her find the right therapist for her. 

it doesn’t take long for them all to settle back into their christmas eve festivities. eunah has to smile. would it have always been that easy? she knows it wouldn’t have been, but it’s good to know that they all have her back. they’ll sort everything out over the next couple of weeks, between ‘me’ preparations, but for the time being, it’s christmas, and they’re all together for it for the first time in years.

[eunahfmdarchive]

mastering.

tldr:  eunah  is  approached  about  production  for  a  track  from  kami’s  upcoming  mini  -  album  +  the  process  /  claim  verification.  

wc:  637.

eunah  had  one  goal  .  .  .  well,  that’s  not  strictly  true,  she  has  many  goals,  and  many  expectations,  all  mostly  far  away  and  at  a  height  very  few  could  reach,  let  alone  herself,  but  the  most  important  one?  to  be  credited  on  a  track  on  7rophy’s  upcoming  mini  -  album,  and  now  that  the  track  list  has  been  locked  in,  her  name  there  alongside  minzy’s  on  the  credits  for  the  first  time,  she’s  eager  to  start  getting  more  work  in  where  she  can.

but  she  doesn’t  expect  dimensions  to  come  to  her  about  a  project  so  soon.  a  b  -  side,  they  tell  her,  kami  is  looking  for  someone  for  it,  and  we’re  trusting  you  with  this  .  .  .  with  this  opportunity.  it’s  not  meant  to  be  taken  as  any  kind  of  encouragement,  rather  a  reminder  that  they  most  likely  won’t  use  her  arrangement  of  the  track.  

it’s  not  meant  to  be  taken  as  an  encouragement,  but  eunah  does  anyways.  she’s  not  just  making  this  for  her,  or  for  her  and  minzy  or  for  7rophy,  this  is  for  kami,  a  senior,  someone  she  respects.  she  has  to  make  it  her  best  work.

and  when  she  hears  the  lyrics,  the  vocals  and  the  base  melody,  eunah  understands  why  dimensions  threw  her  this  particular  bone.  it  sparks  something  in  her,  the  kind  of  something  that  has  her  messing  around  with  the  track  until  four  in  the  morning,  until  one  of  her  members  dares  to  pull  out  one  of  her  airpods  and  tells  her  to  go  to  bed.  she  closes  her  laptop  and  she  does,  but  not  for  long,  feeling  the  song  pulling  at  her,  not  letting  her  sleep.  

she  settles  down  once  she  can  with  nicer  headphones,  in  a  nicer,  dimensions  studio,  instead  of  her  macbook  on  7rophy’s  living  room  sofa,  and  it’s  then  that  eunah  loads  in  the  file  and  gets  to  work.  from  the  lyrics  alone,  she  wants  to  make  it  into  something  that  will  simultaneously  inspire  the  listener  to  both  dance  and  sleep  all  at  once,  the  kind  of  song  that  encapsulates  the  feeling  of  a  daydream,  where  your  heart  swells  up,  something  light.  as  she  treads  further  and  further  into  the  world  of  song  production,  eunah  wants  to  at  least  try  to  develop  a  personal  style,  though  she  knows  that  that’s  something  that  is  fluid  by  nature            but  if  there’s  one  word  she  wants  to  try  and  pin  it  down  to  above  all  else,  it’s  refreshment.

eunah  attempts  to  capture  that  feeling  with  a  lazy  drum  beat,  which  stays  essentially  consistent  throughout  the  song,  from  the  verses  to  the  chorus,  only  really  taking  a  break  during  the  rap  bridge  and  to  allow  other  percussion  instruments  to  have  a  brief  standalone  moment.  as  she  sits  in  her  chair,  feet  tapping  along  with  it,  eunah  thinks  to  herself,  layering  sound  after  sound,  chasing  after  a  concept  she  can  only  describe  as  a  song  you  would  hear  in  the  background  as  you  sip  on  an  iced  tea,  watching  your  crush  from  across  the  cafe.  she  can  hear  the  execs’  response  to  that  already  :  kim  eunah,  you  make  no  sense.  

her  influences,  besides  her  own  little  drama  that  she’s  made  up  in  her  head,  are  primarily  western  in  their  origins,  as  is  to  be  expected,  considering  her  american  upbringing,  thinking  of  the  r&b  tracks  that  featured  heavily  on  car  journeys  in  her  early  childhood  as  she  plays  around  with  the  tune,  blending  that  with  the  soft,  dreamy  idea  that  kickstarted  it  all.  

after  all,  more  than  anything,  telling  a  story  is  what’s  most  important  to  eunah  with  music,  and  when  she  submits  the  finished  track  to  dimensions,  to  kami,  really,  she  knows  how  hands  on  the  other  has  been  with  this,  she  hopes  that  that,  more  than  anything  else,  translates.

and  luckily  for  her:  it  does.

[eunahfmdarchive]

headcanon  two.  /  kim  eunah  as  cosette,  everything  you  need  to  know  from  the  outside  looking  in. tldr:  just  me  talking  about  eunah,  les  mis,  my  personal  thoughts  on  her  in  the  role  &  her  similarities  with  cosette.  a  companion  piece  to  the  self  -  para,  i  suppose.

wc: 453. 

the  casting  director  for  the  upcoming  summer  production  of  les  misérables  in  seoul  reached  out  to  dimensions  entertainment  because  of  one  of  the  videos  old  school  friends  put  up  of  eunah  singing  ‘  i  saw  him  once  ’,  a  cut  song  from  les  misérables,  sang  by  adult  cosette,  only  featured  on  the  original  1985  london  cast  recording.  the  casting  director  remembered  being  curious  about  this  idol  -  thespian  when  the  video  was  uploaded  in  2017,  and  when  they  began  work  on  this  upcoming  production,  they  contacted  dimensions.

when  picturing  eunah  in  the  role  of  cosette,  the  actress  that  i  had  in  mind  in  terms  of  style  was  katie  hall,  who  played  cosette  on  the  west  end  in  2010  and  in  the  twenty  -  fifth  anniversary  concert  of  les  misérables.  she  was  the  same  age  then  as  eunah  is  now.  her  voice,  in  my  opinion,  brings  a  very  youthful  aspect  to  the  role  of  cosette  that  i  feel  many  other  cosettes  lack  because  of  their  leaning  harder  into  operatic  styling  than  katie  hall,  though  i  still  very  much  enjoy  their  renditions  of  cosette  too.  her  voice  is  very  clear  and  sweet,  which  you  may  hear  here,  and  is  very  similar  to  the  way  i’ve  always  imagined  eunah’s!  obviously  eunah  will  be  singing  and  performing  in  korean. 

it  has  now  been  roughly  six  years  since  eunah  last  took  to  the  stage,  but  cosette  should  be  a  role  that  helps  ease  her  back  into  it.  les  misérables  is  a  score  that’s  challenging  to  sing,  so  it’s  lucky  that  she  is  on  a  similar  wavelength  to  cosette,  meaning  she’s  able  to  focus  more  on  the  score  and  less  so  on  the  acting.

one  of  the  most  glaring  similarities  between  eunah  and  cosette  is  their  inherent  loneliness.  from  child  cosette  to  adult  cosette,  she’s  a  lonely  character.  as  a  child  she  is  abused  and  mistreated  by  the  thénardiers,  made  to  walk  alone  in  the  dark  woods  and  clean  up  after  them  and  their  guests  in  the  inn,  and  then  as  an  adult,  she  is  kept  isolated  from  the  rest  of  the  world  in  an  attempt  by  her  adoptive  father  to  protect  her  from  any  consequences  she  might  come  to  as  a  result  of  his  actions.  eunah  did  not  have  an  isolated  childhood,  but  from  the  day  she  first  came  to  korea,  an  inability  to  properly  cope  led  her  to  box  herself  in,  which  is  something  she  still  keeps  up  to  this  day.  cosette’s  character  arc  of  self  -  realization  through  love  is  something  eunah  wants  to  learn  from  while  she’s  in  the  role,  and  that,  more  than  the  score  or  acting  or  going  out  on  stage,  is  probably  what  will  be  most  challenging  for  her  about  the  production.