#tldr; she says fuck bloodlines she is the right person to do this

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[roguestarsailor]

i need help understanding mor and the dynamic between cassian and azriel.

TLDR; i dont get why this dynamic is so important! for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret so why is she so insistent on being shitty to az? azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

ok so this girl doesn’t have the courage to tell azriel that she doesn’t like him that way (or ever).

but its been 500 years of pining; like ?? i think he knows his heart has been broken?? hes a spy master; his entire profession is him seeking secrets and i would even assume knowing how to read people and such. i feel like after 500 years, he can pretty much confirm shes not interested in him. and then using cassian whenever theyre together should also signify something? are we banking on azriel to be a Head Empty dumbo man who doesn’t have an ounce of self awareness and emotional intelligence here?? mor constantly flirts w cassian as a joke. mor needing cassian to be a buffer sounds like she just wants him as the third wheel but nothing else and thats really shitty thing to do. how can she think she can keep it up?? how can she also assume cassian won’t try to find love?? she doesn’t love az why stop him from finding love???

she straight up only likes females no? she’s already sleeping with other people. thats a known fact. azriel has also slept w other people. they dont sleep together but they do just hang out--like buddies?? they go to ritas, they hang out in the houses at valeris, they do night court jobs together-ish but thats it? that sounds like what friends do. so if she rejects azriel, the worst that seems to happen is that they won’t hang out like they used to.

i flipped through ACOWAR to make sure im not missing anything and this is part of what she says:

“I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him in that way. And...and I love him enough to want him to find someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself....I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too” (ACOWAR, 592)

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But...It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him--to tell him he’s spent five hundred years of pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout...I like things the way they are.”  (ACOWAR, 593)

she says this shit!! two contradictory paragraphs!!! how are you gonna be like let az find love/i want to find love and then backtrack and be like wait i like this dynamic??? what??????? in between those two line she says this:

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but...I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel...Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.” (ACOWAR, 593)

what is this?? literally what the fuck?? this line right here makes mor sound like such a dick. this is literally cruel; she knows hes got intense feelings for her but she does this still?? is this some kind of power trip she likes???

yes it can be heart breaking to lose a friend but at the same time stringing them along and being so elusive is worse is it not?? yes it will probably hurt az a lot especially if his feelings are super intense but i think they as characters are capable of going past this. it might not be like before, but they will still be supportive of one another.

but also consider this: what would be the consequence of rejecting azriel? will he go on a rampage? will he shut out the IC forever? will he abandon them? is there a darkness to him that makes mor afraid to speak her actual feelings? cuz i feel like at worst it would be a few awkward moments here and there but ultimately it would just be over with and they will be friends again. does she really believe that az would continue to be a hopeless puppy following her around in the hope of her loving him forever or does she think he’ll reject love forever if she rejects him? she hasn’t given him actual romantic love back so he might not be missing much. and even her words about fucken helion just to remind az she’s not interested is treating him shity enough (which also leads me to why does he love mor? did he know her before rhys brought her to the illyrian camp all those years ago when she and cassian did it?) i know she wants to keep liking females a secret, but rejecting az won’t make people automatically assume she isn’t straight.

i can’t help but think literally all of mor’s reasoning for not telling az and keeping the dynamic going is garbage. the stakes aren’t that high! shes being a bad friend and stifling both cassian and azriel! idk how az’s heart isn’t already breaking?? im really mad SJM is trying to play this up as a big thing and making this dynamic seem so important to these characters but for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret. azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

on another note thats vaguely related to the above post: i re-read the scene in ACOWAR where mor confesses her true sexuality to feyre and im thinking why can’t mor just be bi? i’m not super well versed about sexuality here so correct me if im wrong but making her sleep w other males just to throw off the idea that she likes females sounds.......wrong?? why does SJM frame taking males to bed as this tool mor needs to keep up the secret of her preferring females but at the same time saying mor still likes sleeping w males too. so does that not define bisexuality??? does mor being bi take away from the impact of her not liking azriel??? mor feels like a diversity token rather than genuine queer character imo.

also why does knowing she prefers females hurt her in anyway? does she think her father is gonna send out assassins to murder her lovers? whats the cost benefit analysis to that? mor already controls hewn city, has rhys + IC as backup. and going by the logic mor puts out, does it matter that she takes female lovers as long as she can can produce heirs/continue the bloodline (because thats what her shitty family prioritizes)?? i feel like she can do both tbh. i see that its the emotional component that mor values and i can understand trying to shield something precious to her since her family has hurt and ruined so much of her life. the only significance i can read from this is that SJM is trying to show representation of closeted folks in the form of mor which i guess is fine if you vibe with her in that way??

this is the part of the ACOTAR lore that throws me off: i feel like sexual fluidity would be the norm for faes. these folks live forever and they will only stick to being straight? hard to believe personally. mor mentions that in her family specifically she is considered a “prized mare” who is great for popping babies but a) fae babies are rare already so i dont think she can just pop babies unless thats part of her power b) they just need her to “breed” so taking other lovers shouldnt be a problem either so long as mor’s family have babies to “continue the bloodline” c) is faithfulness an unspoken law? is polygamy frowned upon? these are immortal creatures why would they keep to one lover? babies are rare so from purely biological/survival stand point wouldnt faes have to have multiple lovers in order to reproduce???

[aelinbitch-archive]

☕️ Manon asking dorian to marry her and elorcan in general oh and also aelin losing her scars how could i forget that was the first thing that went through my mind when i saw the post akjgshq

yesssss ok

1. Bad. It’s kind of complicated for me because like… I love Manon, so reading the books I’m always like yes a Manon Scene!! Yes Manon Character Development!! Yes Manon-Related Content!! But, as anyone who follows this blog knows, I kiiiind of loathe M*norian with my whole heart, and it’s sometimes hazy where a Manon Scene ends and a Manorian Scene begins. 

(Which is what I hate most about that ship - it’s fundamentally about ½ of The Chainsmokers weaseling his way into the arc of one of my favorite women!!! But I digress).

So for Manon to have a moment of vulnerability? To admit that she feels fear? That she cares for people? Great. For it to still be consistent with her characterization - she has ~human~ emotions, but could never truly be happy in the cage of marriage - Great!! For that to be… all about…. Dorito Havilliard? Not great. I didn’t like that it was from his POV, didn’t like that HE was the one who was like “noooo manon you would hate marriage,” really REALLY didn’t like the “for a second he was so turned on he almost selfishly said yes knowing that it would ruin her life and freedom teehee!” part.

(And before anyone jumps in with “omggg Dorian is so ooc can’t believe SjMESS made him into some 2D douchey dude-bro womanizer” yeah lmfao you’re sooo right! Dorian “Celaena Just Be With Me Even Though It’s Dangerous and Painful For You” Havilliard?? Dorian “Came This Close To Taking Advantage of Drunk 17 y/o Aelin At a Party” Havilliard?? Treating women with anything but utmost respect???? Sooooo ooc wow!!!).

Imagine how much better that scene, or the equivalent to it, would have been if it was with Manon and… anyone else. Elide. Or Asterin. Someone actually RELEVANT to the themes of Manon’s arc. How much more interesting and meaningful that dynamic would have been. 

Like, the following quote: “She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.” I don’t buy it. I just don’t buy it and I never will. They are… not equals. She’s better than him in… every way. And not in an “out of his league” kind of way (although that too, lmao) but literally just that she’s older, stronger, more experienced, more powerful, etc etc etc. To me, they are not mirrors, in any meaningful way. The fact that Dorian has Suffered A Lot and is Super Sad is not enough to make those two characters somehow parallel. 

So tldr I don’t think a marriage proposal/moment of vulnerability in that context was ooc or anything for Manon if we just look at her character (like if you hold your nose and pretend that Dorian is Elide and change half the dialogue/narration to match it then her emotions and instincts make sense) but Dorian’s role in her narrative has always been forced as hell and kind of infuriating, tbh.

2. I wish I had more tea to spill on Elorcan. I don’t have too many feelings about it. It’s nowhere near as objectively bad as M*norian. The scene where Elide goes to save him on the horse was pretty well done (although, again, for me that was because I love ELIDE, not Elorcan, and if it had been Manon instead of him I would have liked it more). Didn’t love that we were supposed to see Elide in a negative light for continuing to be cold/standoffish to him after he like… said sorry a few times lol. She had every right to do that. Even if she did take it too far by comparing her love for him to his love to Maeve, he’s 500 years old!! I really just think!! That somehow!! He’ll be fine!! Although, of course, that interaction was what caused him to go and kinda sorta commit suicide in the battle at Anielle, so yeah I guess burn the witch what a bully. Ew, yeah, the more I think about it the more of a bad taste it leaves in my mouth. I can see the good/cute things too, but at the end of the day I’m a malide bitch who would not care for Dorian or Lorcan even if they weren’t involved with my gay witches so… perfect storm. 

3. Whew this one is…. hm. Tbh, I’m still processing KoA. I read it so fast and nervously (the whole time I was just in a cold sweat begging for Aelin to survive) that I didn’t have time to let all of it sink in.

But right now I…. don’t love it. Maybe I’m just dumb but I don’t see what it did for her and her arc and her character development. It’s too meaningful to just be good ol’ random Suffering™, but it’s somehow not meaningful enough for me to Get It. Like… why that had to happen to her. I loved Aelin’s scars. She did too. I’m still sort of thinking through the symbolism there and what exactly sjm was trying to do with that, and I honestly haven’t found a satisfying answer. 

With Aelin losing her power, which I also disliked, because I just don’t love to see Aelin disempowered (especially in ways that feel… pretty heavyhanded tbh) I could at least see the value of it in terms of the narrative. I loved the line “I am a god” in the context of a powerless(ish) Aelin, because it was like… fuck yeah. She’s more than Mala’s gift to her, more than her bloodline. She IS a god, but not just of fire. A god of lying and wit and arrogance and boldness and insanity and bravery and iron will and pulling victory from the jaws of defeat and of having HUGE balls. While the loss of her power was, by definition, disempowering, it did have a kind of interesting way of bringing the focus to Aelin Galathynius as a person - and the fact that the person there is just as much of a powerhouse as her magic was. 

The loss of her scars was the opposite. Not only was it the result of disempowerment (months of torture and bondage etc etc) it was dehumanizing. It took away some of that personhood, instead of pointing back towards it (not saying Aelin as a person changed just by losing her scars, just that as a symbol it kind of had that effect). It erased the map of survival from her body. It took away something she treasured for a different reason than her power, and I feel really weird about it. Maybe I’ll have a better answer after rereading or thinking about it more, but for now I’ll say that I think if Aelin had been able to keep her scars but lose her power (ideally keep BOTH but whathefuckever) I think that would have been much more consistent and sensible in terms of what I think sjm was trying to do with her character.