#tnspp

[starcollectorsilas]

btw. btw. '"A man in my class, his soulmate died a week ago, from cancer."' -Kouyou's line in chapter 18 when comforting Chuuya and assuring him his soulmate couldn't be dead. At this point none of them know Oda's dead yet but Ango is in Kouyou's law class. Kouyou knows Ango's boyfriend is dead, but doesn't know that Ango's boyfriend was her childhood best friend. And she's using what she doesn't know yet is the death of her childhood best friend to comfort her younger brother and assure him his soulmate isn't dead. send tweet.

[y1naho]

"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭."

"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭."

As a celebration for the end of The (not so) Perfect Pair by @silawastaken, I have spent two hours on this fanart (an hour on Dazai's drawing but wtv) ^^

Read it right now if you haven't.

(the tag's my Instagram btw please don't follow)

[kingpetty215]

👨🏾‍🦲🚫🧢 (at Facebook Jail) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFJVi-TnSpP/?igshid=7d7smz50c559

[starcollectorsilas]

HAHAHAHAHAHA SHINY SILVER SCALPEL BITCHES!!! WE ARE SO BACK!!! HERE COMES THE ANGST!!!

thanks @sorry-i-panicked for the image I think about this regularly and was the FIRST thing that popped into my head while reading the end of chapter 18

[starcollectorsilas]

OH MY GOD??? EHRUERU SO COOL SO COOL I'M DYINGGIDHRJRJJ I'M GOING TO EXPLODE AND TJRHRUHRHR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT'S AMAZING DJDBEJDBDJ

also PASSERINE FAN SPOTTED??? more importantly- BETTER. THAN. PASSERINE??? HIGHEST COMPLIMENT EVER BECAUSE PASSERINE DESTROYED ME THAT'S SO CRAZY AND MEANS SO MUCH 😭😭 I'm so glad you liked the fic, and I the art is so so cool <3 thank you :)

@silawastaken

In honor of the end of The (Not So) Perfect Pair, I give to you the fanart that I’ve been all up in your asks about for a while. After 4 pages ripped out of my sketchbook and many pencils broken. I ended up with a much simpler drawing than I aimed for at first. Hope you like it! <3 (yes it’s on paper I couldn’t draw digital to save my life)

And a fourth wall break Dazai for my troubles. Telling the readers bye bye! :P

Your fic has caused me actual mental distress. This is a good thing I like angst. Seriously, like this fic was better than Passerine…. IVE BEEN TYPING TOO LONG BYE

[starcollectorsilas]

btw in the epilogue when Dazai keeps the lighters hidden behind the drawers in his desk it's because he stole them from Oda since he couldn't buy them on his own :)

[starcollectorsilas]

ALSO BTW. Dazai in the hospital at the end of chapter 18 where Mori is speaking to him and after telling him '"I doubt you'll live long on your own. No amount of help can fix some issues. Normal is something you'll probably never know."' he looks at Dazai 'as though for a second he was seeing someone other than Dazai' because Dazai looks like his mother in that moment btw. His mother who committed suicide. And Mori looks at Dazai and sees his late wife and for a moment he realizes the extent to which he has messed his son up and the only way he can think to fix it in that moment is to assure Dazai he can go to school the next day if he'll just let himself be treated easily. So that Dazai can see Chuuya. He's asking Dazai to let him treat him and promising that if he does, Dazai can see Chuuya in the morning.

The only moments that Mori is gentle with his son the entire fic is that moment where he looks at Dazai and sees his wife. Not that it will change anything about the way he treats him in the end.

[starcollectorsilas]

why did I write Tachihara's dialogue SO british man. I'm sorry I did that to you bro

[starcollectorsilas]

Uhhhh finished the (not so) perfect pair. there is a hole in my chest. what do I do with myself now???

[starcollectorsilas]

Soulmate Detective Agency; The casebook of Edogawa Ranpo- Chapter Two: White, Purple, and a little Pink

Ranpo has started on his second case, a pair of soulmates bewildered after finding matching marks not belonging to either of them. Through research and investigation, Ranpo unravels the case until its conclusion, while struggling to understand and accept some of his own feelings.

(fyosiglai chapter!!! yippee!!!)

[starcollectorsilas]

'"Yeah. If we go, I won't try to die again," he promised, meaning it, and there was a third click.'

HE PROMISED. MEANING IT. AUGHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID I DO THISSSSSSSSSS

Also this chapter is so batshit insane I did NOT realise I'm so sorry to the (not so) perfect pair enjoyers everywhere

[starcollectorsilas]

it's so crazy to think about tnspp!Dazai in chapter 13... like his older brother JUST died the night before, he probably fell asleep the night before thinking he wouldn't wake up, he's in AGONY through the whole day and everything just seems to be getting worse for him... bro has EVERY right to be crashing out the way he is rn 😭

[starcollectorsilas]

I'm SO sorry and I feel like such a loser for it sometimes but I really do just want to talk about the technical stuff behind the things I write sometimes. Both fanfic wise, poetry wise, and more recently music wise, but I always want to talk about the attention to detail, the foreshadowing, the way things change in the process of writing, the original concept vs the final product.

I really really hate it but my brain really is wired for literature, and there's nothing that can have me talking for as long as asking about the detail behind my fics. The only one you can really ask about without it becoming a nit-pick of all the flaws (which is never attention or compliment seeking, I genuinely don't like most of what I write or make) or talk about foreshadowing aspects without major spoilers is the (not so) perfect pair as it's complete and well thought out (in my opinion).

The music I'm working on currently, when the lyrics are written out they read as a love letter, which is intentional!!! but also you could ask about the specific ties that each lyric has– for example in 'Prophecies of the Morning Sun' the lyric "a single witness as heaven comes down" the implication is that (as the song is written as if from my perspective) my lover is heaven, and I (or, whoever was listening to the song) was the only witness to their arrival, or the only person to see them as they are.

And then, in the final verse "facing you to see heaven in your eyes" is supposed to tie back to the idea that in my (or, again, whoever was listening's) eyes, my lover is heaven to me. IT'S ALL INTENTIONAL (or maybe not, but it all connects in the end regardless).

Anyway I'm sorry, slight word dump over, I just really wish I had more opportunities to properly talk over what I do. I would love to write a long ass essay dissecting the (not so) perfect pair bit by bit but also. There is no audience for that lmao.

As the gold bleeds into grey is where I'm going insane over this specifically, as there is always some detail which I am trying to point out without having to explicitly state it, but I feel the need to make sure people know what I'm doing. Especially with the most recent chapter (chapter ten – spoilers) where Chuuya is leading Dazai through Yokohama while it's busy, and he doesn't want to show his concern that Dazai was still following by looking back to check on him, but he does so anyway because he loves him.

This is a reference to Orpheus and Eurydice, which is why the chapter is titled 'Orpheus and denial', because in this Chuuya is supposed to represent Orpheus, but he also refuses to admit he still loves Dazai (whether to himself or to Dazai is up for interpretation– he's complex enough that even I don't know) and it was driving me insane that I couldn't explicitly state 'Hey! This is a reference!' because that's not what I want to do!!!! Ugh. Sorry. Soooo not worth this but I am constantly thinking about it lmao.

I'm always adding little details like that, I'm always referencing canon and making decisions about certain numbers to use for things (such as their room being number 15 on floor 3. They met at 15 in canon, and knew each other for three years before the split at eighteen. There's also another reason for it involving 15 and 3 years which would be Spoiling It but there's another reason behind that choice too).

If you ask me, I can tell you what characters who are never even mentioned in the main story of tnspp were doing at different points in the story. My au's are SOOOO carefully thought out most of the time.

Anyway. Yap actually over this time. Sorry I should really talk less lmao

[starcollectorsilas]

holy fuck. I'm actually crying. I'm actually crying over some of these comments. What do you mean my fic was giving you motivation to get through your day? What do you mean that it's one of your favourites? Stop. I'm actually crying. I'm going to die when I wake up and check my inbox. I love everyone so much I can't believe tnspp is over now 😭

[starcollectorsilas]

tnspp 45k hits... tnspp almost at 2k kudos... save me tnspp

[starcollectorsilas]

applagawa and oranushi.