#to be fair i do think ive got a pretty good track record of killing horrorboros

[autoboros]

are you friends with anyone named Rocket X_X on switch??

i added someone with your exact username once cuz i though they were a bot that auto defeated horrorboros

I think so? I'm pretty sure I am but I was added ages and ages ago

This is a really funny reason to me It took me a hot second to process this

Auto-boros... I have never considered it could look like that but I can promise I've been "Autoboros" since long before the horrorboros was ever added to the game

[jungxk]

just one (iv)

notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

warnings: eventual smut, swearing, bad habits (mentions of drinking, smoking etc). trigger warnings: non-consensual touching/ sexual harrassment, verbal harrassment 

genre: humour, drama, romance, college!au

wordcount: 10.3k

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

jisoo blows a raspberry into your pillow. "do we have to invite taehyung?"

"yes," you say definitively while she pouts. "he's our friend, babe!"

"he's your friend! for me he's just the guy i'm playing chicken with and seulgi doesn't even like him!"

"that's not true," the older girl weighs in. "he's nice to look at. i can appreciate that," she pokes jisoo in the side. "besides, we need him. jimin plus one of his friends have to be part time bouncers, and if he doesn't bring taehyung he might bring jaebum again," her face twists in annoyance just from saying his name. "and i won't allow that. not at my birthday party."

"jaebum," jisoo's face scrunches up thoughtfully. "who's he again? the name rings a bell..."

you're already rubbing the ache in your head at the memory. "my birthday from two years ago. he put his hand up my dress and seulgi kicked his balls up into his throat," you pat jisoo's back reassuringly because she still looks confused. "you don't remember because you were throwing up in the kitchen sink."

"and if i see his face in my house again i won't hold back," seulgi finishes, flipping some hair. "the nerve of that prick. i only stopped there because you asked me to, you know!"

"well yeah because with the size of those heels you were wearing you might have killed the guy! do you know how hard it would be to get blood out the carpet?" you explain. everything had happened so quickly you felt like you could barely recall the memory; jaebum had been sweet talking you all night and you'd only ever thrown him a polite smile. then the next thing you know your skirt went flying up but then suddenly he was on the floor crying, right under seulgi's pointy heel. "now that i think about it, i don't know why i didn't see him coming..."

"because you never do," seulgi says, laying her legs over your lap while she decorates the guest list with glitter penmanship. "you don't know how many times i've sent a guy hightailing before he could get to you, ____. there's just something about you, i don't know what it is! like ants all over sugar, i've never seen anything like it!”

jisoo coos, smushing your cheeks. "our pretty flower all the bees want a piece of!"

"you're both ridiculous," you giggle, letting her pinch your face anyway.

"we should send her to every party with some garlic and a vial of holy water," seulgi laughs, joining in to tickle you.

"well maybe we won't have to," jisoo says slyly. "now that you've got hoseok."

"hoseok," you repeat, blinking thoughtfully. "right, hoseok...! should i invite him?"

"are you crazy? of course!" jisoo exclaims. "why wouldn't you?"

"because it's a big step," seulgi says. "showing up to a party together is like, a statement. an implicit one, but still. have you guys talked about becoming official yet?"

"not really?" you shuffle nervously. "hobi always just sort of...got the message that i wanted to go slow. he hasn't pushed it and neither have i."

"talk to him," jisoo urges with a smile. "come on, this is hobi. even if you explain you're not ready to go exclusive yet, you think that'll be a dealbreaker for him? the guy would probably wait for the rest of the century if you asked him too!"

"she's right," seulgi nods. "we say it like it's a big deal, but it really is just a party. a good guy like him wouldn't get insecure over something like that, especially if you felt strongly about it."

"you're right," you nod to yourself more than the girls. 

"so is that everyone?" jisoo flicks through seulgi's lilac planner after taking it from her hands.

"pretty much," seulgi leans back with a snort. "but you just know all this planning is for shits and giggles. jimin's gonna bring like, a thousand other people anyway and the next thing you know one of our bedrooms will be on fire."

"then why did we use your pretty paper?"

"because these are new gel pens! we should have just given him tae as a plus one and left it at that, you know. remember last year, when he brought that guy wonho and then all his gym friends showed up? jesus, i thought i'd have an aneurysm that night."

"i know, wasn't it great?" jisoo's eyes are already lighting up at the memory. "i'm still convinced me and minhyuk are in love even though we haven't spoken in like. eight months," she sighs dreamily. "maybe he'll turn up on some off chance and make me forget all about taehyung."

seulgi makes a sly face. "if forgetting a guy is what you're looking for then why don't we invite jungkook?"

"god, can you imagine?" jisoo laughs. "jeon jungkook eating the snacks in our kitchen, fucking some girl on the coffee table?"

"then giving her friend a turn once he gets bored," seulgi snorts.

"yeah," you laugh nervously. you try your best to look inconspicuous even though your palms suddenly go clammy, wiggling into the bed to shove them under your koala plushie. you haven't heard from jungkook since the post office incident, but to be fair even you were shocked by that peck on the cheek you gave him. you just assumed he was busy or too crippled with second hand embarrassment to talk to you again, and you don't blame him. maybe it was best that the whole jungkook phase came to a close now that things with you and hoseok were about to move forward.

but that doesn't stop you checking your phone every now and again, hopeful to see his name light up your screen.

x

x

x

"are you kidding?! i mean, all of that's true but you're crazy if you think jaebum would willingly step within ten miles of seulgi," jimin laughs loudly, making you laugh with him. "i still remember my balls clenched in sympathy just looking at the bastard. you know he texted me the day after and said he really thought his future was childless? i kept the screenshot."

you hold up your hands defensively. "look, these are seulgi's words not mine. just make sure you bring taehyung, because even if him and jisoo kick off it'd be better than eye contact between seulgi and that asshole," you check your phone for the time. "where is tae, anyway? you told him drinks were tonight, right?"

"duh. he's just always late to everything," jimin says, gulping his beer. "aren't you glad we didn't order for him now?"

"no, because now people are gonna think we're here together. like together together."

jimin rolls his eyes. "stop looking so surprised. it wouldn't be the first time."

"exactly," you huff. "aren't you sick of it?"

"you should consider yourself lucky," he shrugs. "so are you bringing hobi hyung?"

"i'm seeing him tomorrow to ask him about it. to be honest i don't really know how that conversation's gonna go..."

"what do you mean?" jimin queries, getting up from his chair to squeeze into the booth with you. he tries to keep his attention on you and your pretty lips while you talk, but he can't help letting his gaze swerve off to that creep by the bar who's making googlies at you. not that you'd notice, because you're far too busy rambling about hoseok, hands gesturing comically and hair sticking to your lipstick.

"...and i dunno, something just feels off about the whole thing and i'm not sure if it's because i'm not ready or if hobi really just isn't the guy for me, which i seriously doubt given that if i met him a few years ago - are you kidding me? artsy fartsy looking prince in balenciaga? i would have been all over him! but now?" you laugh dryly. "well, we both know how much of an abandonment-fearing mess i can be, so-"

"that's not true," jimin says gently. a pause. "okay maybe it's a little true. but hoseok obviously doesn't care," he says, face splitting into a cheery grin when you squint at him. "well, none of it's been enough to deter him so far, has it? so maybe he has a thing for girls with a tragic past and a cocktail of defence mechanisms," he consoles you, although it certainly doesn't feel consoling. "you have told him, right? about those assholes that used to be your family?"

"no..." you say sheepishly. "i don't know, i just...! how do you break something like that to a guy you've been dating? like, he's talking about bringing me to meet his mother and her vegetable patch this summer, the fuck am i supposed to do? casually mention that i was disowned next to her avacado tree? it's a lot of baggage, jimin."

"i get that," he says, opening his mouth say something further when he notices the creep at the bar stare even more explicitly when you cross your legs. "you finished your drink? let's meet tae in the bar next door."

"oh, alright," you say, gulping down your glass. "any reason why?"

"yeah," he huffs, standing in front of you while you shrug on your coat. "that weirdo over there keeps making eyes at you. he's giving me jaebum vibes."

"what weirdo?" you perk up curiously, craning your neck to look over jimin's shoulder but he's already spinning you around by the waist and pushing you in the direction of the door. your playful giggle dies in your throat when his hands remain planted on your hips, leading you through the busy bar with his chest against your back. he's so warm, his grip around you so wonderfully firm it excites you. "you're not gonna let me take a look at my potential captor?"

he chuckles, right behind your ear so that your goosebumps go wild. "shut up. why would you want to look at him," you don't remember how many drinks jimin has had but it must be more than you thought, because you can feel him smirking against your neck. the heat of his lips lay right over the pressure point so you positively melt back into his chest. "you're with me, aren't you?"

"yeah," you shudder, the cold from outside hitting you harshly. you're still gulping for breath while he stares from under the moon like that, utterly gorgeous. the pine of jimin's scent gets you going even though he's a good step away from you again. there's a serenity about his face while he looks at you, hooded eyes intense and hair covering his forehead so you can’t see the way his brow softens. earnest. "what? why are you-why are you looking at me like that? do i have lipstick on my teeth-?"

"you have no idea, do you?" he whispers, like it's a secret. like he meant to ask himself instead of say it out loud, but all the beer's gone to his head and fucked up the thought pathway. "how lovely you are. how many men want you for it."

suddenly in the autumn night winds you're sweltering hot. flushed. jimin's all but not referred to you with gender neutral pronouns since you met him, plunked you into a sexless box you had grown comfortable in. so what on earth do you say to that? especially when it's coming from park jimin? "is-is this your way of saying you like this shirt on me?" you laugh nervously, doing anything you can to diffuse this heavy air. "it's actually jisoo's so i'll pass on the compliment if you wa-"

"its a nice colour," he's looking to the side so you can't gage his expression. "but that's not what i mean."

you blink up at him, totally and utterly lost in this uncharted territory, the butterflies in your stomach climbing up your spine with its intensity, because apparently they seem to know where to go better than you do. thankfully taehyung chooses this moment to make his grand entrance, yelling your names from across the street so you can watch him jog towards you instead of deal with...whatever this is.

"sorry i'm late," he pants, but he doesn't look sorry at all, instead darts his eyes between you and jimin suspiciously, misplacing the tension. "if you're really that mad i'll get the first round."

"are you kidding? first round was an hour ago," jimin laughs, teeth shining. he's so annoyingly model worthy, hair tickling his lashes and hands sliding neatly into his jeans pockets. he glances at you like he didn't just call you beautiful under the moonlight two minutes ago and nudges taehyung in the direction of the bar just a short walk down. “rounds three and onward has your name all over it, though.” 

x

x

x

[taehyung 10:52pm] you going to seulgi's birthday thing this weekend?

jungkook is so bewildered by the message even the blonde is lap starts to knock on his head to ask if anyone's home. she gets up and leaves him alone with namjoon and yoongi outside once he fails to reply, but in jungkook's defence he didn't think he'd have to deal with his thoughts going a mile a minute at this time of night: seulgi, seulgi as in the wasted girl he carted around in his truck for you seulgi, your friend, your flatmate. aka, seulgi's having a party in the house that you shared and so you were going to be there. you, with your big eyes and cute cheeks. you with your tinkling laughter and addictive aura, probably clad in a little dress for the occasion that was flattering and girly with the perfect touch of slutty that you'll coyly pretend isn't slutty.

fuck.

"kookie?" namjoon cranes his neck to see what jungkook is agonising over. the kid was young and confident, so it wasn't often that namjoon saw the boy with a knitted brow and dry lips. it could only mean two things: beer flu or a girl. and since the night had barely started at this shitty friend-of-a-friend's party it was safe to rule out the former, but namjoon has enough tact to start off with, "have you seen a ghost, or?"

yoongi, however, isn't one to dance around. "more likely just a girl he's ghosted," he leans back in the rusty deck chair. "wouldn't expect anything less from the highest body count on campus."

"i'm pretty sure that's jimin-ah," namjoon muses.

he takes another drag before answering. "maybe last year, but he's been slacking ever since he became a senior."

jungkook ignores them, thumbs dancing over the keyboard of taehyung's chat as he rakes his brain for a reply that sounds just the right amount of apathetic even though he aggressively needs some answers. right. now.

[jungkook 10:58pm] birthday thing?

[taehyung 11:03pm] ____ didn't invite you already??

[jungkook 11:05pm] she hasn't said anything to me

because i've been avoiding her he says internally. taehyung seems to see right through it because-

[taehyung 11:06pm] well have you talked to her?

[jungkook 11:07pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:07pm]

[jungkook 11:08pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:09pm]

[jungkook 11:10pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:12pm]

"fuck," he hisses aloud, unable to think of a reply that didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.

[taehyung 11:13pm] lol thought so. it starts at 9 bring your own beer

jungkook doesn't know what to say to that, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he stares at the message. his mouth blooms bright pink under his thoughtful gnawing: he knows it's wrong. he knew from the second you kissed his cheek weeks ago that this wasn't a good idea, that this was something he just wasn't ready for, something he may never be ready for. it's too comfortable, too easy, too real. and jungkook doesn't do real. this was destined for disaster written in red, red, red all over his hands that are just itching to have you.

but that feeling in his gut, sitting right below his rib cage, the selfish feeling that knows his weak points and feeds his impulsive nature - it's telling him to go. it's telling him just one more drink with you, one conversation...one dance. after that he'll quit you. after that, after that, after that he's done for good.

"earth to kookie?" yoongi leans over to wave a hand in front of his face. "geez, did this girl send you a nude or something? what's got you so spaced out tonight?"

"nothing," he says quickly, sitting up in his seat. "i was just wondering...do you guys wanna come to a party this weekend?"

x

x

x

hoseok gives you a long kiss when you finally arrive back at his flat, fingers grazing at the nape of your neck to pull you that much closer to him. you can't help but fall into him. everything about him is just so kind, so soft around the edges. even more so today; hobi was extra doting during lunch, holding hands the whole walk home, kissing you slowly and often. maybe that should've been your first indicator that something was wrong.

"we're having a party this weekend," you say absently when you finally plop down onto his couch, playing with the end of his shirt when he joins you. he smiles as you do, because you're just so cute and breathy after he kisses you for while. everything about you was just so endearing, so his type. "for seulgi's birthday. and i was thinking..."

"we should go together?" he finishes lightly, your doe eyes fluttering up to him before you nod nervously. his shoulders practically deflate with affection for you, how vulnerable you look. he leans in, giving you a long peck that leaves you content. but then his next words follow, "i can't."

"oh," you cannot hide your disappointment. "that's too bad...are you busy or something?”

hoseok watches you for a second, really watches you like he's savouring this specific moment before answering. "we need to talk. i think," he takes your hands, hesitant. "i think this is it for us."

your brain short circuits, the city of your body screeching to a stop: the people stand still, the cars stop moving, the power goes out. hoseok's words hang in the air before your face because you're unable to compute them, unable to do anything but look at him dumbly. "what?"

"i know the first thing you're gonna think is that it's because of you," he says evenly, shaking his head. "but it really isn't. it's me, it's all on me. i didn't want to do this at the restaurant, rob your chance of getting to react how you're entitled to, so..."

"you're," you're still rushing to catch up. "you're breaking up with me?"

he sighs, and you can feel how heavy it is. the hollowness in your chest, surprisingly, isn't caused by what he's said or what this means for your budding relationship. instead, it's the absence of hoseok's smile that makes your eyes well up for some reason. he doesn't look right without it. "yeah."

one more time. "you're breaking up with me..."

"you can yell if you want," he assures. "go on, honestly."

instead, you laugh. soft and quiet, very breathy and broken before you cover your face with your hands. of course even when he's breaking up with you, he's the most noble man on the planet. it's not like you're used to people not wanting you, but it still makes the static ring louder in your head because you just didn't see it coming this time. you and hoseok got along so well, your affection for him growing by the day. what were you supposed to do with it all now? "there's nothing to yell for hobi, this isn't a contract. i-i'm not mad, i just..."

"there's something else," he says gently before you can finish, running a hand through his red hair. you miss his dimples suddenly. he licks his lips, chest heaving with how he tries to word it. "i'm also doing this because i think it's for the best. because i don't know how much longer i can go wondering if i'll ever hold a candle to him."

"please," your heart sinks. "please don't say jimin."

"not jimin. jungkook."

a beat. "what?"

"you think i didn't notice how he blew up your phone a few weeks ago? texting you every hour?" he laughs quietly, looking down at your hand that's still in his. "how quiet you've gotten ever since he stopped?"

"hobi," you swallow hard, shaking your head. "there was never...i was never involved with him like that. you know that right?" you squeeze his fingers. "you know i'd never do that to you, don't you?"

"of course i do," he says gently. "i'm just saying that he got more of a reaction out of you from a few texts than i have in two months. doesn't that tell you something?"

you swallow. "that you should send me more memes?"

"you like him," hobi corrects with a sympathetic look. "you really like him, ____. whether you want to accept it or not. so this," he gestures between you. "really isn't doing anything but slowing us both down."

you sigh, covering your eyes in embarrassment. "so what you're saying is you're breaking up with me to save me the misery of doing it in the long run?"

he chuckles softly. "you make me sound so gallant!"

"because you are," you say, so quietly he barely catches it. you see it then, the almost of it all. if things were different, if the timing wasn't like this, how if you had just spoken to hoseok at that party before jungkook you'd probably be history now. it's the strangest thing you've ever felt, looking at hobi in that moment and seeing everything your life could've been together flash past in front of you like a supercut. a cassette movie on fast-forward.

why does no one ever talk about the feeling of knowing that you could've loved someone?

hobi feels it too. he doesn't say it but you know he does, because even though he's smiling again his aura has lost all its orange. like he's only ever been living on the blue side this whole time. it would've been easier if you took his advice and yelled, anything to fill up the gaping hole that is this silence. there are no hard feelings, only soft ones even while hoseok drives you home. you chat over the radio like always, even laugh about that same song you heard at the cafe last week together. except this time he doesn't kiss you when you get out the car.

only when your bedroom door closes do you start to cry, for a reason you can't pinpoint.

x

x

x

the house is already crammed full of people by the time jisoo teeters over to you with two drinks in hand, doing awfully well for herself given how many malibu and cokes she's been sipping all night. of course, none of you had half a clue who most of these people are, since jimin did that thing where he accidentally invited the entire campus again. people filled the halls, spilling out the doorways. the house wasn't big so it was almost like it was falling apart at the seams with drunk college kids and then some, but jisoo still wedges herself onto the staircase with you like it's any old saturday night.

"here," she hands you the drink. "you're looking way too sober for someone who just got dumped and it's upsetting me."

you take a tentative sip, the sour-sweet taste leaving your mouth upturned though it wasn't unpleasant. just strong. "jesus, who made this?" you take another sip before clocking on. "oh no, this is one of jimin's cocktails isn't it? my liver's starting to panic already," jisoo throws her head back in a laugh when you take her hand to press against you. "can you feel that? she's pissed! the last time i had one of these i almost died, 'soo!"

"tonight's an exception," she grins, fixing your hair at the back. "seriously though, are you okay? you should be shit faced by now, singing love ballads and crying on my lap!" she watches you shrug behind the rim of your cup. "you really didn't like hoseok that much, did you?" she looks a bit sad, playing with the end of your dress guiltily. "and there was us, forcing him on you for weeks..."

"it's not that," you assure her quickly with a hand over hers, trying to make your thoughts cohesive through the fog of chatter and alcohol. "it’s just that, i've had a few days to chew on what he said now, and...he was right."

"right about what?" she prods.

"girls!" you both look up to seulgi who's peeking at you through the banister railings before teetering her way over as fast as her slight tipsiness can allow. you and jisoo instinctively grab a wrist each and pull her to squish between you, all clambering knees and party shoes knocking together. "did you see who just walked in? smell my drink, i swear i've been spiked-"

"what?" jisoo takes the cup before she can spill it. "who is it?"

"it's not hoseok is it?" you crane your neck, scanning the people in the hall. "there's no way-"

"no," seulgi shakes her head. "it's jungkook!"

jisoo throws her head back in a laugh while the blood runs icy in your veins. out of all the names you were prepared to hear, that certainly wasn't one of them. "jeon jungkook? alright, maybe you have been spiked-"

"see for your fucking self!" seulgi practically shrieks before hauling their pair of you up with her impressive strength. they both link up arms with you in the middle, weaving through the crowd in a secure chain before reaching the kitchen doorway. it's like some sort of warped stakeout mission from a kids show, the comical way the three of you squish into the door pane and you spy from a distance. sure enough, jungkook is there just outside the open back doors, lighting up a cigarette with two of his friends that you haven't seen before. you can practically feel your stomach flipping through the thin fabric of your dress. seulgi hiccups above you. "now is that him or am i really just off on one?"

"that's," you can hear jisoo gulp. "that's jungkook alright," another pause of disbelief. "god, has he always been that hot?"

"yeah," seulgi huffs. "but it's those friends of his that're making me nervous. see the tall one? god, i'd climb up him like curious fucking george-"

"i gotta pee," you say breathlessly before darting off.

you search through the sea of people for jimin, hands sweating and teeth chattering because you never thought you'd see jungkook here. now. looking like that; brown hair pushed back so his ridiculously handsome face is on display, his leather jacket back with a vengeance tonight. you feel on edge by the time you desperately circle the house a second time to finally see jimin and tae, grabby hands reaching out to clutch their elbows like you need them to hold you up.

"someone having fun?" jimin steadies you with a strong hand.

"um," you swallow back all the babbling you want to do, doing your best to appear collected. "yeah. yeah, you?"

"as good as jisoo ignoring me can feel," taehyung mutters into his cup.

"god, don't you think you're getting a little ridiculous now?" jimin rolls his eyes. "and that's coming from me, taehyung. it's been months! if you really liked her you would have done something by now-"

"it's not about that, it's about my principles!" 

"which are?" 

"i want attention," taehyung huffs like a child. "all the time, no exceptions."

jimin rubs his head. "do you hear how much of a brat you sound right now?"

"of course i do. i'm a self proclaimed brat, jisoo knows this," taehyung's mouth stretches into a mischievous smirk. "and she got with me anyway."

"actually, can i ask you guys something?" you butt in a little too loud, unable to watch their back and forth in silence anymore. "uh, did one of you...did you invite jungkook? not that i care or anything, i just...didn't expect to see him here...is all..."

"jungkook?" jimin's brow immediately creases. "no, i didn't. he never shows up to parties anyway, are you sure it's even him?"

"it's him," you confirm. "definitely him."

"he probably just heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. you know how it goes with these things," jimin appeases, totally missing the way you lock eyes with taehyung who's rather keen to avoid your gaze all of a sudden. you know in an instant that it has something to do with him, but for now you just nod up into jimin's flawless face. his lips extra plush tonight, candy pink and inviting. "but it doesn't matter though, right? since hobi hyung's gonna turn up any minute now."

"yeah about that, jiminie...he's not coming," your chew your bottom lip. "we broke up."

jimin's brows snap together. "what?"

"aw, sorry princess," taehyung rubs your arm affectionately. "you okay?"

"what do you mean you broke up?" jimin splutters, looking far more upset than you would've anticipated. he wets his lips when you peer at him curiously, reigning in his volume a little to card a hand through his hair coolly. he only pulls it off because he is a master of composure. "did you, um, meet someone else or something?"

"nothing like that. hobi just thought we had run our course, you know?" you give taehyung's fingers a reassuring squeeze. "i'm okay, really. we had fun and we're still friends, so-"

"i gotta pee," jimin mumbles, taking out his phone to tap frantically before stalking off.

you blink after him. "uh, is he okay?"

taehyung just rolls his eyes, finishing the rest of his beer. "how much time do you have for me to answer that question?"

"probably not long enough," you sigh, sagging against taehyung only to shoot up straight again when you see the unmistakably large silhouette of jungkook making his way up the corridor. it was too late to try and scurry out of his line of vision now, all you could do was turn to face taehyung with wild eyes and your hands locking around his thick arm. "now do you mind telling me why you decided to invite jungkook into my house?"

"what's the big deal?" he counters, already waving the younger boy over with his signature big smile. he peers down at you with an expression that is way too cheeky for your liking. "you're friends, right? you invited all your other friends, didn't you?"

"i mean," you huff, exasperated. "yeah i guess, but-"

"hey hyung," jungkook's voice is behind you, forcing you to turn and face him. his jawline alone has your throat going dry alone, round eyes full of stars as they swivel down to take you in. you watch jungkook wet his lips, small and pink. the mole dotted underneath holds your gaze for longer than you'd like to admit, your hands squeezing the life out of taehyung's arm just to keep yourself upright. "how are you, noona?"

"me?" you blink up at him, your fluttering lashes making you look that much more irresistible. thankfully jungkook is great at saving face, flicking some hair from his eyes so you can see his brows hop up at you. god, you can barely breathe. "i'm good, really good. you? are you...are you having fun?"

"yeah," he flashes his big smile at you and your knees practically quake. "you know how to throw a party."

"oh, it's not me! seulgi and jisoo did all the work. jimin's guest list might've had something to do with it, too..."

"did you come here with namjoonie and yoongi hyung?" tae perks up. "i haven't seen them in ages!"

"yeah, they're outside. you should say hi tae, they missed you," he points a thumb over his shoulder. his eyes fall back to you, looking impossibly gorgeous even in the shitty lighting. "i'll see you guys around, yeah?"

"yeah," you mumble, the disappointment causing a sinking feeling in your stomach when you watch jungkook walk off to chat up some girl who's with her friends on the sofa. you don't even realise you haven't said anything until taehyung pokes you in the ribs, dragging you back to earth.

"you good?" he asks, his tone casual but the look in his eye serious.

"yeah," you say quickly, finally releasing him. "yeah, i'm good."

x

x

x

jungkook doesn't talk to you for the rest of the night. not that you expected or even waited around for him to, but it still rubs you the wrong way, like something isn't quite fitting and you're not sure what. within the span of a few hours you've seen him entertaining more girls than you can count on one hand, and you don't know what it is about that that makes you reach for the spirits jisoo hid behind the microwave for emergencies, but it does.

even at the height of your passion with hoseok, you had never felt so jittery. jungkook wasn't even in the same room as you and you felt like a ball of nerves. he clearly wasn't interested in you anymore, on any level; clearly came all the way here to show you that. and yet here you were, giddy and excited simply because he was near you for the first time in weeks. it felt a bit humiliating. you mutter to yourself, trying to shake all thoughts of him out of your head and at least try to enjoy yourself tonight. "the fuck is wrong with me..."

"absolutely nothing by the looks of it, beautiful," a guy says beside you. he must be one of jimin's friends because he's pretty, tall with dark hair and a shit-eating grin. the friends around him have the same kind of vibe too. "i'm jinyoung. miss...?"

"____," you answer with a forced smile, though you're really not in the mood to talk.

"a pretty name for the prettiest girl here..."

you try your best to play the polite co-hostess. it's not your birthday party to mouth off on, after all. "thanks. have we met before?"

"maybe," he shrugs, quickly invading your personal space. "i'm friends with jaebum. you know him?"

you visibly wince. "the name...definitely rings a bell," you scan his friend group cautiously. "he's not here is he?"

"not tonight. something about a crazy chick in stilettos," he leans in close, leaving you barely any breathing room. you take a hearty step back to which jinyoung only follows. given how overwhelmed you are tonight, you quickly become irritated. "but thankfully i'm here to show you a good time tonight."

"thanks, but no thanks," you finish, until his hand encloses around your arm. firm, demanding.

"come on doll, don't i deserve a chance?" he smiles sweetly, totally contrasting with his grip on you.

"do i look like i'm gonna give you a fucking chance? take a hint," your eyes narrow dangerously. "and let go of me."

"or what?" he teases, clearly not taking you seriously even though steam is practically erupting from your ears.

"there you are, baby!" a voice jumps in, a nimble arm snaking around you to effectively tug you away from jinyoung and the situation in general. a guy with near-white hair has planted himself between you and the asshole, and even though he's shorter than him and wearing a sickly sweet fake smile, there's something about him that makes you play along. "thanks for keeping my girlfriend company. you can go now."

jinyoung scoffs. "whatever. your bird's too stuck up for a lay anyway."

"the fuck did you just say?" you spit over the short guy's shoulder but he's got an arm out to stop you, letting jinyoung walk away in one piece. he takes your wrist when you open your mouth to shout something at his retreating back, dragging you out to the tiny patio with the other smokers the night air sobers you up a little but you still tingle with anger. "what are you doing? that prick does not get the last word, not in my house-"

"take it easy tinkerbell," he drawls, but there's a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, clearly amused by your temper. he's rather striking, what with his pale hair and delicate features contrasting with his camo jacket. he looks tough, but the way he drops your wrist is tender. "pick your battles. not saying the dirt bag doesn't have it coming, but he's a tree. and you're shorter than i am, for starters."

you pout miserably. "i could take him...!"

"with what?" his friend laughs next to him, a tall boy with silver hair and beautiful dimples to boot. the same one seulgi was lusting after earlier. "those pretty eyes of yours? isn't that how you got into this mess?"

your cheeks heat at the inadvertent compliment. "a-are you advising me or hitting on me?"

"do i have to pick one?" the guy smiles, perfect teeth shining at you in the night. he looks like he's been plucked straight out of an eighties movie leaning against the brick wall in his ripped jeans like that, him and his friend. "i'm namjoon, by the way."

"yoongi," the other boy grins around his cigarette. "your fake boyfriend."

you sigh at his reminder. "i guess i should thank you," you shift from one foot to another begrudgingly. "for helping me. i don't know why guys like that always end up finding me, but..."

"i think i know why," yoongi chimes, eyeing you up and down.

"people fight my battles for me a lot," you say quickly, your determined stare making yoongi smile to himself again. you're cute. "at this rate i'm starting to think i should hand out complimentary mints or something."

"i don't think people are after your mints baby," namjoon smiles. "but sure."

"my approval, then?" you test, letting him tug you gently between him and yoongi so you're out of the way while people walk past to get through the door. even through the fog of smoke and party musk, their presence is comforting and resolute. nothing like jinyoung’s. "or my undying gratitude, maybe?"

"is that what they're calling pussy these days?" yoongi flicks his brows up. "well fuck me, i'm getting old."

"hyung, you're twenty-five!"

"positively ancient," he grins at you. "don't you agree, tinkerbell?"

you laugh with namjoon into his arm. "actually, my ex-boyfriend from like, years ago, back when i was a science major...he'd be twenty-six right now. so i guess i can't vouch for you, yoongi-ssi."

"so you're saying i have a chance?"

you pinch his chin. "i'm saying you're not old. and as my fake boyfriend, aren't you first in line anyway?"

"he is old," namjoon jumps in. "he's super, super old. pre-historic. look, even his hair's white."

"i told you, this shade’s called platinum," yoongi warns, tousling it for emphasis. "and you think you have room to talk shit with silver fucking hair? what are you, a vampire cosplay? a broody anime kid? pick one, joon-ah, the rest of us are getting confused."

"excuse me, i can be both. haven't you watched vampire knight?"

"no, because i'm not a fourteen year old girl."

"now i understand how you're friends with jungkook," you hum, to which the boys both snap their heads to you. they take a long look at you before exchanging one between themselves, the sudden pair of eyes on you at once making you feel exposed. 

"you know kookie?" namjoon blinks. "like know kookie?"

you squint. "uh. is there a difference between those, or..?"

"i'm certain it's the second one," yoongi says confidently while regarding you. "i've known that kid a while and i've never seen him so desperate to come to one of these house parties before. you must've really done a number on him."

something in your chest flutters, making you shake your head dismissively. there was no way. "i really don't know what you're talking about. me and jungkook are just friends, it's not like he even...it's not like that at all."

"you sure about that?" namjoon challenges, so gently you can't help but entertain the idea. he watches you stare off thoughtfully, the way you ring out the end of your dress in your hands and hold your breath. your feelings were written all over your soft features, and namjoon now sees exactly what jungkook was losing his wits over. you’re so...tempting. "look, i've seen kookie involved with a lot of girls. not one of them has made him as antsy as you have."

"now you're just buttering me up," you pat his chest teasingly. "i'm not exactly his type. go and ask the girl he's probably fucking in the bathroom right now, she'll tell you if you don't believe me."

namjoon tries not to enjoy the contact so much, but its hard not to when it’s so chilly outside. "jungkookie's dumb, i'll give you that. him and his dick fight over the one brain cell he's got left all the time, but don't write me off on this one. trust me."

you smile. "i just met you, namjoon."

"trust your fake boyfriend then," yoongi chirps. "kid's got a perpetual hard-on for you, tinkerbell. do with that information what you will."

"no wonder he's always getting so many girls," you laugh between them. "you two might just be the best wingmen on the planet."

"you really don't believe us, do you?" 

"____!" taehyung calls from the kitchen, poking his head out of the open back doors. he gives his hyungs a friendly wave before remembering why he was sent to fetch you. "am i interrupting? sorry, but seulgi wants you. someone threw up behind the coffee table and she stepped in it."

"ugh, fuck. tell her i'm coming," you call back, throwing the boys an apologetic look. "i'll see you guys later, yeah?"

"and you'll think about what i said, yeah?" namjoon teases, dimples showing in an amused smile when you poke your tongue out at him.

x

x

x

and jungkook...jungkook really didn't think shit like this would ever happen to him. maybe he'd finally hit rock bottom, and rock bottom looked like your greasy house party because that's certainly what it felt like. how else could he describe coming all this way with the intention of getting over you, only to be so blown away by how beautiful you look that he chickens out? even trying to score some pussy to help himself feel better wasn't working, because every time he has a girl right where he wants her, he leans down and sees you: your eyes, your smile, your lashes fluttering up at him, how breathless you'd sound if you were the one who he was kissing. it just wasn't fair.

so jungkook thinks, maybe this is how he gets you out of his system. fuck a girl in your bathroom, against the door maybe. while you're in the next room with your wonderful laugh and amazing tits, probably getting comfortable under some other guy's arm. maybe this is how he moves on, by parading around on your terf doing what he does best right under your nose. maybe this is how he forgets your sparkling eyes and alluring waist, wrapped up in a nice little dress that makes you look even lovelier than jungkook could've ever anticipated. maybe this is how he swallows this pill. maybe this-

"what is wrong with you?" your voice shoots straight into his earshot, jungkook's head snapping up from some girl's neck to see you through the doorway down the hall. you're distressed, eyes wild, teeth bared in anger - and then he sees it. some guy towering over you, dragging you by your little waist right into his hold with the help of his drunk friends. "would you get off, jinyoung? i told you i'm not-"

"where's your little boyfriend now?" he jeers, far bolder than he was a few hours ago. his grip on you is bruising and his friends surround you, keeping you nicely shrouded in the corner of the room while he locks you against him. "too busy to save you this time? or did you think you were so smart, trying to pull the wool over my eyes? min yoongi and his lot never go exclusive with anyone."

you shove him dangerously, turning your heel before you act irrationally. "you're a delusional motherfucker. you and your asshole friends better leave before i-"

a resounding slap echoes above the bass music. you register the sting on your ass a second later, whirling round to him utterly shocked and positively bubbling with rage. jinyoung sneers at you with his friends, already pulling you back by your skirt. "that's better. nice and quiet, how it should be."

"don't fucking touch me," you warn. but jinyoung doesn't care.

jungkook was already moving by the time jinyoung raised his hand. there's not a thought in his head so it all happens in a blur; one minute you're being manhandled next to the rice cooker and the next thing you know you're pushed back by the fridge, jinyoung suddenly knocked clean onto the ground with a heavy thud. you gasp in shock with everyone else in the room, eyes darting up to watch a fuming jungkook grab him up by the collar, slamming him so hard into the wall the kitchen clock smashes to the floor.

"what part of don't fucking touch her doesn't compute with you?" he slams him again for good measure, jinyoung's head smacking the concrete with an audible thump. "huh? ya deaf or somethin'?"

as horrified as you are to watch the scene unfold before you, nothing compares to the horror of watching jinyoung's friend land a solid punch on jungkook's cheek, throwing his weight to the side so he staggers to the opposite counter. it's like a pit of dread opens up in your stomach, swallows you whole as they loom over him while you watch helplessly, paralysed with fear, a murmuring crowd gathering quickly.

but this isn't jungkook's first rodeo. a duck here and a step there and he's got one guy knocked on the floor within a minute and the other with a bloody nose the next. it all becomes too much when jungkook beats jinyoung's face into the tiles, people gathering round to watch the fight so the sound of bone splitting is covered by shouts and jeers.

"stop...please stop..." you whisper when he raises his fist again. your voice finally finds you, feet racing to plant yourself before him. "jungkook, stop!" he freezes when he registers your hand on his chest, gripping his shirt. "please, please don’t jungkook," all evidence of fury dies when he sees the tears in your eyes, terrified. "please don’t..!"

his hand falls limp at his side. disarmed. jungkook doesn't know what this feeling is but it's the same one he felt when you were in his truck after the post office, and it's the worst feeling ever: seeing you cry. he doesn't know what to do, jinyoung barely conscious on the floor under him. he groans loudly in pain, face swollen and covered in blood so you can hardly look at him without feeling sick.

the lights turn on, music now off. "what the fuck happened?" you hear seulgi above you, the sound of jisoo dissipating the crowd as well. she crouches down to you when she sees you crying, smoothing your hair to get a look at your face for any harm done. "____, are you okay? are you hurt?"

you shake your head, trembling. jungkook can only watch you guiltily, the adrenaline pumping through his body evapourating into nothing under your touch. he doesn’t even notice namjoon and yoongi enter the room with jimin and taehyung once they get most of the people out of the house, the party effectively over.

"we'll get them," namjoon assures jisoo quietly, already hoisting up jinyoung's friends with yoongi's help. they seem to know what they're doing as if it's routine, kicking the other guys out easily before dragging jinyoung out as well.

you've stopped crying now but you're still clutching jungkook's shirt through his jacket, peppered with blood. you sniff and he flinches, the sound alone more painful than any beating. he still doesn't know what to do or say, gulping nervously when you take his hand. it's hot and sticky from jinyoung's blood but still you grip it, tugging him out of the kitchen. "come on."

you're not sure which one of you interlaces your fingers together as you pull him up the stairs and into your room, but you guess it doesn't matter when you let go of him to sit on the bed while you dampen some towels. jungkook waits silently, eyes swivelling around the small room.

it's small and cosy, lots of blankets and pictures of jimin, jisoo, seulgi and taehyung stuck on a cheap corkboard. a lot of pictures of you and jimin. little painted figurines in the corner of your desk, an oil painting leaning against the far wall you haven't hung up yet. hoseok's flowers, wilted in their vase. a sketchbook open before it from where you've half drawn them. the faint smell of vanilla, coconut and you. you didn't have a lot, but what you did have what so obviously precious and it makes him feel even worse for some reason.

when you return from the bathroom, you tear up again when you take a proper look at jungkook's face. his cheekbone is bruised and already swelling, another bruise blooming on his jaw along with a split lip. you look to his hands that rest obediently on his knees, knuckles split and cracked, weeping blood and colouring shades of purple and red around the edges. even the silver rings he wears are bloodied. jungkook can't bear to look at your face as you take him in, turning his head to the side. "it's fine."

you don't reply, just dab his face with the cool towel, sniffling and blinking like mad to cover up your glassy eyes. "it's fine," he insists, but he lets you tend to him anyway. he winces, not sure if the grazes are burning him or if it's just your touch. "geez, if-ow! if you think this is bad you should see me after a real fight."

the pain twisting your voice blindsides him. "is that supposed to make me feel better?"

he doesn't know what to say to that, watching you take his hands to clean the blood away there too. yours are so small compared to his, so gentle and dedicated. he spends so much time staring it's a good minute before he talks. "look, i-"

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you cut off, your big eyes suddenly alive once again. you huff, shaking your head in disbelief while you focus on his grazes. "hardly say a word to me all night but you still felt the need to pull hero shit like this? are you fucking kidding me, jungkook?"

it's hard not to feel embarrassed because you're right, but jungkook still forces himself to sit up straighter in defiance. it's like the reappearance of your fire has caused his own to resurface, filled with the same anger he had when he marched up to jinyoung. "am i just supposed to sit and watch, then? that cunt had it coming and you know it, noona."

"that doesn't mean you have to beat him to a pulp in my kitchen!"

"yes it does!”

"are you insane? like, do you think before you do literally anything?" you retaliate furiously. "if jinyoung wants to charge you for what you did he can, jungkook! jesus, the guy could barely see out of both eyes by the time namjoon threw him out-!"

"if you're asking me to say sorry or regret it, it's not happening," he stares at you, jaw clenching firmly. some hair falls into his twinkling eyes briefly, and you think it's absolutely unjust that he'd look so handsome even with a busted face, even while you're arguing with him.

"you're ridiculous," you laugh breathlessly in disbelief, head shaking. "you're absolutely fucking ridiculous...!"

"because i taught them a lesson? because i gave them what they deserved? something that should rightfully make them think twice next time?" jungkook bites back. "they don't get to do things like that and think they're hot shit, guys like them are scum and if it takes me getting a mark on my record just to shut them up then-"

"i don't want you getting into fights!" you snap, eyes welling up again so jungkook clamps his mouth shut immediately. "for me or for anyone, jungkook. the idea of something happening to you, of someone doing to you what you did to jinyoung...i can't stand it. especially if it's over something this stupid."

jungkook has always known you're an inherently good person, but this is the first time it's made him feel like shit. he peers at you, your bowed head and wet cheeks. "it's not stupid."

"yes it is."

he shakes his head firmly. "no it isn't."

"don't you want to even try to agree with me?"

"but i don't agree with you! you want me to lie?"

you give up, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "yes!"

"okay," jungkook looks you square in the face. "if another perv lays a finger on you i won't beat his ass into the fucking dirt. happy?"

already, you're fuming again. something about him gets you juggling emotions so fast, faster than you can keep up, nails dragging through your hair as you momentarily turn your back to take a breather. "i hate violence, jungkook. i fucking hate it, okay? talk big if you want, measure dicks if you have to! i don't care what, but nothing is worth getting hurt over-"

"some things are," he says vehemently. you are, is what he doesn't say.

"this isn't one of them!"

"you're wrong."

"look at yourself!" you retort, all patience lost. "look at your face, jungkook! even that asshole jinyoung's! how can that be something that you stand for?" he doesn't answer because he knows it's futile. jungkook wasn't going to change his opinion and neither were you, his raw hands gripping his knees hard in whatever composure he can still manage around you. it only makes you that much angrier, chest heaving from it. "you understand that what you did was absurd, right? that it's exactly the kind of thing that's gonna bite you in the ass one day if you're not careful?"

jungkook's gritting his teeth so hard the words barely form. "yeah, got that loud and clear."

"good," you snap, before stepping between his parted knees and taking his bruised face in your hands. he got bruised...for you. bloody, for you. so for the first time you act without thinking, only with emotion as you brush your lips over jungkook's chapped ones. it's short and warm, but the contact is electric, jolting. jungkook's lungs seize up in his chest upon the feather-lightness of it, but you're already stepping out of his space before he can process what you just did. you kissed him. your cheeks burn as you fight to maintain eye contact with him defiantly. "then don't ever do that again or i'll kill you. okay?"

jungkook stares at you. he's thought about this a few times now, and every scenario in his head did not play out like this. he never thought his bad behaviour or an argument in your bedroom would lead to this but fuck if he isn't buzzing about it. he really can't help himself after that, taking your waist in his battered hands like a compass to north and pulling you back between his thighs snugly, parted lips searching for yours. "got it..."

jungkook's kisses are slow and breathless, everything you expected and more. hotter, wetter. in an instant his tongue is in your mouth like neither of you can stand to wait a second longer. you'd be toppling over if his hands didn't bracket your middle like that. you feel him rubbing the pads of his fingers into where you cinch in, your mouth falling open at the sensation to sigh softly. jungkook drags you closer upon the sound, laying a sweet open mouthed kiss over your top lip before diving in again. he feels relieved with your round hips finally in his hands, his low hum resonating against you when you drag your nails through his undercut and let him trace your tongue with his. he's so thorough, so greedy and practised - so perfectly jungkook.

his hands slip under your thighs expertly, lifting you up with ease to slide you onto his lap faster than you can squeak. you clutch jungkook's big shoulders and he smiles at your surprise, so blindingly charming your face burns. "j-jungkook, your lip is half busted, we shouldn't-"

he kisses you harder just because you said that, your weight in his lap making his shoulders relax and jaw go slack, tongue bolder, finally feeling the pressure in his chest release. your brain is still clouded from the arguing and lingering alcohol so you don't know how long he spends kissing you senseless in your room - grabby hands mapping you out like fucking terrain - but by the time taehyung barges in your brain has effectively turned to fuzzy static, your body a pile of mush in jungkook's lap that only his hands hold together, warm torso meshed into yours, arms locked around his neck with his tongue down your throat when the door slams open.

"princess, ya know where jungkookie is? yoongi’s got his car, they're outside and-" he stops dead in his tracks, takes in the image. you screech and scurry out of jungkook's grip, mortified. "well! can't say i didn't see this coming!"

jungkook lets you climb out of his lap but grabs your wrists before you can put any more space between you, turning to hurl a pillow into taehyung's face with his free hand. then he tugs you between his legs again, your face on fire, but jungkook doesn't care. "get out, hyung."

"or what?" he challenges with a naughty smile. "ya gonna pretend you'd stop?"

"tae, get out!" you hiss, your hips wriggling insistently in jungkook's hands.

taehyung shows a palm defensively. "fine, fine! but your lover boy's ride is here."

"he's not my-!" you start indignantly, but he slams the door shut before you can finish.

there's a pause, your eyes sliding reluctantly to jungkook, who wears a pleased smile on his wet, kiss-swollen lips (that are little bloodier from it all). you drum your fingers on his wide shoulders, watch him look down your dress at your cleavage without a lick of shame. "i really didn't think this'd happen," he squeezes your ass affectionately so you gasp. "like this."

his eyes twinkle, smug. "you thought about this happening?"

you wince, realising the hole you've dug yourself into. you take a minute to reply, distracted by jungkook's hand venturing up your back again to trace your bra clasp absently. "that's not what i mean." he hums in response, brown bambi eyes now on your bitten neck, and you fight the urge to kiss him again, instead have another go at shimmying out of his strong hold. "come on. it's past dawn, you should go home and-"

"i'm busy," he retorts, leaning his face so close against yours his eyelashes just miss your skin, round nose nestling into your face. his warm breath fans over your lips which part upon reflex, and jungkook quickly realises how much he loves making you squirm, all hot cheeks and fluttering eyes.

"don't think i won't throw you out," you say albeit breathlessly, finally peeling his hands off your ass. he lets you drag him up, compliant for once, managing to keep his hands to himself the whole trip downstairs and to the porch. yoongi beeps again just as you open the door, namjoon’s arm sticking out of the passenger’s window, ushering jungkook to the car.

"hey," you say, holding back. jungkook turns, watches your arms fold over your soft breasts, cute pout making him suddenly eager to touch you again. "i’m serious. you promise you won't do anything stupid like that again, right?"

he smiles, somehow even more attractive with a swollen cheek and sore jaw. "no."

you glare at him, opening your mouth to start another row but jungkook reaches out before you can, takes you by the waist and pulls you flush against him so that everyone can see when he dips his head down and catches your lips in a passionate kiss. the boys catcall from the car but you can't hear, helpless against jungkook's big chest, tender lips parting yours to taste your tongue one more time, leaving you reeling when he finally pulls away. he tucks your soft hair behind your ears, the sweet action unfamiliar but somehow not out of character for him. his  eyes skirt over your face, gratified.

he really does love making you squirm.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 5x15: Channel 5 - Analysis

Okay, let’s talk about last night’s episode. I liked it a lot. We saw a ton of interesting symbolism. I really like where this is going.

***As always, spoilers abound below for episode 5x15. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

We start with a video that Ginny's group made. Obviously, she ripped off the idea of making the documentary from Morgan's group and we see her making sort of a faux-cheerful documentary about her community. She makes herself and her people look better than they are. I also noticed she took the footage of Tom talking to Al and manipulated it to make it look like he was still one of her people and happy to be part of her community.

In the opening credits, we see a paper on a tree, which is probably the map from Ginny's community, but it also looks like the lens of the camera has been shattered. By the end of the episode, I think I understand why they use this for the opening credits, but I just wanted to point out that this looks very similar to a pair of Beth trading cards that were recently released. Just saying.

Morgan's group was on channel 4 on the walkie, hence what episode nine was called. This is called Channel 5 because Ginny's group is on channel 5 on the walkie. They’re very much setting up an “us vs them” kind of dynamic.

Overall, this episode felt like a replay of 5x10. Various parts of S5 in general, but especially Them.

Two weeks ago, someone pointed out that Luciana staying behind to help Ginny’s group with the oil was a lot like Beth being left behind at Grady. With that being the case, someone from that place going with Morgan’s group—Tom—could represent Noah, who left the group left Grady with Rick's group.

So I wondered whether Tom would live very long, just as Noah didn't. Well, what do you know? He died in this episode. 

I saw a lot of similarities in what was going on around his death. First of all, I know a lot of people were always confused about the fact that Noah was actually being very hopeful about the future and right before he died. Tom is the same way. He was very gung-ho about what Morgan's group was doing and wanted to be part of it. But then was tragically killed.

I also caught something else I think is a similarity. Ginny said Tom's track record for survival was against him. In other words, maybe he'd made questionable choices in the past and was somewhat toxic when it came survival. Morgan’s group didn’t mind and saved him anyway. The same could have been said of Noah. He always pretty much bowed to Dawn and couldn't really survive on his own. Rick's group saved him anyway, but he didn't last long after that.

Furthermore, Tom died after the detour to get medicine for Grace. In Noah’s case, they weren’t looking for particular supplies for particular person, but they were looking for something to fix the solar panels. So, they were on a supply run, which is similar. Just wanted to point that out. And if Tom = Noah and Luciana = Beth, then Ginny's group = Grady, at least in this analogy. And Ginny would be Dawn. Evil female dictator with questionable methods.

There was also a lot of talk in this episode about them finding a new home. It's unclear by the end of the episode whether what they were thinking would be their new home—a Humbug Gulch that's close by—will actually end up being their new home. But I couldn't help but think that maybe their new home won't be anywhere around here. They keep talking about how they’ve depleted everything in this area. Maybe it will be a matter of returning to D.C. and TF to find their new home. Don't get me wrong, they may stop a few places along the way, but they put heavy emphasis on this. Just a thought.

We saw Tom and Janis reunite. More than anything else, that reminded me of Sasha and Tyreese reuniting for a short time before Tyreese's death in 5x09.

Alicia says art makes sense to her. She’s talking about painting rather than singing, but it’s something Beth might've said. Reminiscent of her convo with Edwards about art being transcendent.

They check out places along the way, looking for a place where they could stay. At one point, Daniel apparently checks out a school. We don't see it, but we hear him say over the walkie that the school is gone. Burned down to nothing. Just reminded me of the school in Coda with the walkers.

The rabbi also says that June has faith, which very few people have any more. Obviously, faith was a Beth thing.

When talking to the camera, Wes says “bullshit” three different times. Maybe not super-compelling, but it is something Beth said.

We see Grace and Daniel giving Charlie to guitar lessons, which is kind of fun.

We heard a ton of fives in this episode. We heard the number 50 several times, including being 50 miles East of the Gulch. We heard the number 500, and of course there was channel 5. I can't help but think it's because it's pointing us back to S5. Remember in earlier episodes, the numbers on the mile markers pointed back to Beth episodes in S5. Now we’re still seeing tons of 5s.

Probably my favorite part of the episode that made me jump up and cheer was when a walker got through their convoy’s fence at night. Dwight killed it and found a sheriff's badge pinned to its shirt. I was so happy to see that!

In terms of the plot, it told them there was a Humbug Gulch nearby. John immediately wants to go there because he thinks it'll be a good place for them to settle. But a sheriff's badge, guys! A sheriff's badge! Remember this picture from Still that includes a sheriff's badge/star?

I think more and more things are pointing toward Dwight running into Beth at some point. Just the fact that he's the one that killed the walker with the sheriff's badge on it and showed it to everyone else is a big deal to me. Then there's what happens at the end, but I'll get there in a minute.

As I said earlier, it feels a lot like 5x10. Grace collapses because she's dehydrated. It's obvious that they don't have any water. And it's funny because they don't actually say they’re low on water. At least, not until the very end, but they keep saying Grace is dehydrated and needs fluids.

Obviously, if they had fluids, they’d give her some. They realize there’s a retirement home 50 miles away and hope that they might find something there to help her. This is interesting for a few reasons.

First of all, there's that 50 again. Secondly, in TWD 4x06, one of the Governor episodes, he goes to a retirement home to get oxygen for Tara’s father. There's a lot of significant Beth symbols in that sequence episode and in this episode they go to a retirement home again.

To be fair, this episode didn’t put a lot of emphasis on retirement home itself. If anything, while looking for supplies inside it reminded me more of the golf club than anything else. Still, the parallels were there. They find a couple of IV bags for Grace. The fluids help her feel better. So, we have another example of water saving someone from death.

They all make a big deal about how Ginny would never have made the detour to save Grace. She doesn't care about her own people individually enough to do something like that. She's out about the greater good. (Lots of shades of Grady here.)

John starts to realize that Morgan has feelings for grace. He takes June aside and says he wants to get married when they reach the Gulch. (Yay!)

As they try to cross a bridge, it breaks down. It can’t hold the weight of the cars, much less the tanker truck. The talk about getting people across and maybe patching/reinforcing the bridge in order to get the tanker across. That's when Ginny shows up. She once again tries to talk them into taking her help.

I have to wonder what Ginny wants from the group. Just the fact that she's chasing them around the countryside and trying to convince them to come with her shows that they must have something she wants. We already know she’s lying about stuff. We see more of her manipulation here.

If her operation is expanding as much as she claims, and have everything they need, Morgan's little group headed in the opposite direction really shouldn't be that big a concern to her. And yet, she's keeping tabs on them, chasing them around, and trying to put them in a position where they have to ask for help.

She ends up firing off guns so a walker horde comes and Morgan’s group is trapped, trying to get across the bridge.

At this point, Ginny randomly mentions horsepower. She's talking about how it’s better to ride around in a car than in the saddle all day. "Another form of horsepower,” is what she says. That's a pretty unnecessary mention of horses, if you ask me. There weren't even any horses in the scene.

She also fully admits that she tried to kill Tom saying she will apologize for her methods because they get results. Very Dawn-like.

Ginny tells Dwight that someone in her group saw Sherry a while back. She didn't say Sherry is with her group, only that someone crossed paths with her. Dwight nearly kills her. You can tell he doesn’t believe her and thinks she’s just messing with them. Which actually may be true.

They also have a conversation about how anyone who wants to go with Ginny’s group is welcome to. Morgan says no one will be forced to stay with his group if they’d rather go with Ginny. Just reminded me of Rick telling the people at Grady that after Beth was shot.

No one wants to go with Ginny. That’s when she fires off her gun, drawing walkers, and Tom dies. @wdway commented that it was a lot like the Governor bulldozing the prison in 4x08 when he didn’t get what he wanted. I didn’t think of that, but I totally agree. It did feel a lot like that.

After that, we see them sitting on the side of the road on the opposite side of the bridge. Tell me that doesn’t look like Them. 

On top of that, some of the crates they’re sitting on have white crosses on them. Guys, these look exactly like the crosses that signified Grady, and like the crates we saw in 4x01 that foreshadowed Grady. So whether this is to show this is a Grady parallel or that we’ll see Grady again soon, I don’t know (kinda thinking both), but either way, this is super significant. 

Let me say it better. If the crates we saw in 4x01 signified the Grady arc coming up, then maybe seeing these here, admidst other Grady and Them parallels, shows the return of that place/arc is coming very soon.

And, you know, it’s DWIGHT specifically who is sitting on it. (Yes, I’m totally pushing for this because it’s what I want to see happen, but we really are seeing evidence that this is where they’re going.)

We do see Tom’s grave, much like we saw Tyreese’s in S5 (but not Beth’s). Actually, we could see this as another Sasha/Tyreese parallel. Tom and Sasha reunited after getting separated and stayed together a short time before the brother (Tyreese/Tom) died. And in both cases, the sister (Sasha/Janis) was at her brother’s grave.

The group decides to walk to the Humbug Gulch location, which is probably 10-15 miles away. So they do. Much like in 5x10, they have to walk a long distance with no food or water, in the hopes of finding a new place to call home.

On the way, Daniel tells Morgan that, with none of them knowing how much longer they’ll live in this world, if something needs to be said, he should say it. Daniel was, of course, referring to Morgan telling Grace how he feels about her. But it could definitely apply to Beth and Daryl.

Morgan then does try to tell Grace how he feels, but she tells him not to say it. She obviously knows what he’s trying to say, but says it will just make things harder. So, they still have heavy parallels with Bethyl, because, at least so far, their feelings for one another are still unspoken.

We also see some evidence that Wes and Alicia might become love interests. Just saying. ;D

Unfortunately, when they arrive, the Wild West location is completely overrun with walkers. They have no food, no water, no supplies, and nowhere else to go. So they finally decide to call Ginny for help. Which is, more than likely, a huge mistake.

In terms of the plot, I think this is what both the broken bridge and broken glass in the opening credits was about. If the bridges always represent the communities (X), well, we literally saw a bridge fall apart under them. And the broken glass in the opening credits suggests a fracture of some kind. So I think this decision to go to Ginny for help is a major mistake and negative turning point for the group.

Dwight refuses to go along with the decision. I really liked this aspect of the episode. Dwight actually left the group to strike out on his own, refusing to go with Ginny. 

It's a little surprising because, of all people, you’d think he would want to take advantage of whatever Ginny or her people might know about Sherry. But he recognizes that it is not a good move to call on Ginny for help. He of all people knows how hard it is to extricate oneself from an evil leader.

Now, it looks like he’s going to be in next episode, so he's not disappearing for any length of time, and I’m trying not to get too excited about where they're going with this. But I’m always happy when one character strikes out on their own because there's so much potential. 

What will happen with Dwight? Who will he run into? Could it be a matter of the rest of the group being hostages to Ginny and Dwight having to save them? Or might he run into somebody else independent of the group? Somebody who may or may not be a sheriff? Like I said, trying not to get too excited about this.

And I'm not thinking that were going to see Beth next episode or anything. I’m just saying I'm really liking this story line. So, this pretty much ends the episode, with them calling for Ginny and Dwight striking out away from the group.

I'm very excited to see what happens next and where this leads. Next week will bring us the finale. Looks like it’ll be exciting. 

What did everyone else think of this episode?

[ernmark]

Can we maybe get more of the au where Peter's the detective and Juno's the thief?

Excellent timing! I’ve been on-and-off working on this one for a while now, so here’s a chance to show you what I’ve got.

Warnings for blood & gore, violence, and some medical squickiness.

You can find Part 1 here | Part 2

It doesn’t matter how fast he runs. The gangsters coming afterhim could follow at a walk; all they have to do is follow the increasinglywobbly trail of blood that he’s leaving behind. Hell, at this rate, they mightnot even catch up with him before he bleeds out. They won’t even have to finishthe fight, then. They can just throw his body in the trunk of a car and collectthe Kanagawas’ bounty on his sorry corpse. And all the while, Cassie is busyrunning in the opposite direction, making her way into the safety of the sewers.

It’s not a bad way to go, all things considered. A little bitsymmetrical, even: he spent most of his childhood trying to get away from hismom; it’s only fitting that his last act is helping another dame escape fromher stepmom and her army of cameras. He can live with that.

And even if he couldn’t, it’s not like he’d have to live with itfor much longer, anyway. It’s getting hard to see straight. His foot snags on acrack in the concrete, and he sprawls across dirty pavement. He tries to pushhimself upright, but he can’t catch his breath.

A car slides to a halt ahead of him, blocking the mouth of thealley. The realization makes Juno feel a little stupid. Of course they wouldn’tjust be chasing him on foot. Of course somebody would have gone ahead to cutoff his escape.

Someone gets out of the car and kneels beside him. “Oh, Juno.What have you gotten yourself into now?”

It’s not an unpleasant voice. Not unfamiliar, either.

“Juno, I need you to get up. Please.”

Juno can barely breathe, but a name still slips out among hisfrantic coughing: “Rose?”

It’s not Rose, though. It’s Rex Glass, or Christopher Morales,or any of a dozen other aliases that he’s scattered across the city.

Another voice, higher and more grating: “Oh my gawsh—he’s notdead, is he?”

“Stay in the car,” Rose calls. “And get out of sight. Someone’scoming.”

The car slides out of the mouth of the alley, and Rose rises tohis feet. “Hold on, Juno. It’ll be over soon.”

Juno drags himself onto his hands and knees. If Rose is going tokill him, then he can look Juno in the eyes when he does it.

But Rose is gone. Juno is alone in the alley, still bleedingfrom the wound in his chest. There’s only two more shots left on hislaser—three, if he reduces their power to stun. And there are seven gangstersrushing down the alley toward him. They slow down, out of breath from thechase. There’s no point in running anymore when they’ve got him cornered.

Juno is going to die here. He already knows that. But at leasthe won’t go down without a fight.

“I told you I got ‘im,” one of the gangsters says to the others.

“Don’t be an idiot. I was the one who hit him,” snaps another,and a third adds his two cents. While they argue, none of them notice a shadowdetaching itself from the wall behind them. It moves against the dark alley sosmoothly that Juno might have thought he imagined it. At least, until a plasmablade slices through three necks in a single swipe. The bodies don’t even hitthe floor before Rose slashes through a fourth. But by now the others havewised up to the attack. They round on him, lasers drawn—

And conveniently forget that Juno has his laser, too.

Three shots, and they’re down. Maybe not dead, but they won’t begetting up any time soon.

“Thank you for that, Juno.” Rose steps over their bodies.

Juno falls back. The alley is swimming. The only thing he cansee clearly is Rose’s face as it gets closer. “Here for the bounty?”

“Of course not.” He’s coming closer. Almost angelic, that face.“I’m here to help you. You need medical attention.”

Juno’s smile turns grim. “Think I haven’t heard? I’m worthdouble alive.” Maybe more than that, since he helped Cassie escape.

God, he hopes she makes it out.

Rose says something, but Juno can’t understand. Everything soundgarbled and far away.

The last thing he sees areRose’s impossibly bright eyes.

Cassandra Kanagawa has been kidnapped.

That’s how her family is spinning it, anyway—never mind thatshe’s gone on strike four times in the past year, and her streams have beenforcibly interrupted by ‘technical difficulties’ countless times during herrants about her need to escape from her stepmother’s clutches. A mistreated starletfinally escaping the grasp of her manipulative family? That’s the kind of storythat would make people turn off the Kanagawa streams and feeds purely out ofsolidarity.

A kidnapping, though—that’s got people glued to their screens,frantically refreshing in case there’s another update. Especially because thekidnapper has already been identified: the Hellhound of Hyperion City.

Oh, yes, they couldcall it what it really is: one of their employees who got off his leash andstarted going after the kinds of people that the HCPD wouldn’t dare to touch.The enemy of mobsters and kingpins everywhere. But that risks making him looklike a scrappy underdog, and then people might even start rooting for him— imitating him, even— and they can’t havethat. So they paint him as the big bad boogeyman, instead.

That doesn’t keep him from accumulating fans, though. There aredozens of streams tracking his movements and identifying his most recentvictims. There’s even an amateur stream—Houndwatch—dedicatedto uncovering every tiny nugget of information about him. Fortunately for Juno,the bits of truth are indistinguishable from the mountain of misinformation.Rita has supplied quite a bit of the latter herself, borrowed mostly from a fewdozen of her favorite shows. Meanwhile she and Peter sit on files full oflegitimate information.

Juno’s blood type, for example, which Peter found in the policerecords from when Juno was a cop. Those come in handy when he sends Rita out tobuy enough for a transfusion from a local blood bank, along with fresh clothesand several rounds of the most potent antibiotics she can get her hands on.

Meanwhile Peter has to deal with the more hands-on tasks.

“Really, Juno. The sewer? What were you thinking?” Peter sighsas he strips off Juno’s clothes. He goes through the pockets, just in casethere’s anything important, and then stuffs them in a trash bag to be burntlater. There’s no saving any of them.

It’s Peter who has to deal with those tasks, of course. Ritagets squeamish enough about his visits to Valles Vicky’s; there’s no way shewould be able to handle undressing and bathing Juno, even for the most practicalof reasons. Which isn’t to say Peter isn’t bothered by any of this: he may haveseen Juno in a few dozen compromising positions, but he wishes he didn’t haveto see him this way. The laser burn on Juno’s chest is ugly and raw. He’scovered in dozens of smaller cuts and scrapes all over his body. Several ofthem show signs of infection.

It’s a miracle he’s lasted this long.

Peter washes the wounds first, disinfecting them as best he can.The sealant bandages aren’t hospital grade, but they’ll have to do. By the timeRita arrives, Juno is clean and smells like soap and ointment, rather than rawsewage. He’s laid across Peter’s bed, covered with blanket.

Even with Rita’s training,it takes a few tries to properly stick the vein and administer the IV drip.Juno starts to stir a few times during the procedure, but thankfully he doesn’twake. Rita heads home afterward; she has a shift at the HCPD in the morning,and rumors of the Hellhound’s death to spread.

When Juno wakes, he’s pretty sure he’s still dreaming.

He knows this bed. These walls. Those blackout curtains over thewindows. He knows the smell on the pillow—good shampoo and moisturizer mixed inwith exotic fragrances from distant planets.

It’s not a bad dream. Might be better if he wasn’t so tired,though.

And if he wasn’t alone.

He tries to sit up, but feels an uncomfortable tugging in hisarm. There’s a needle sticking out of him. And a tube. And an IV drip.

Maybe it’s not such a nice dream after all.

“What the hell?” he rips off the tape holding the tube againsthis skin. Before he can pull the rest of it out, the bedroom door swings open.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather you didn’t take thatout.” And there he is: Rex Glass or Duke Rose or whatever the hell he’s callinghimself today, striding through the door to the bedside.

This isn’t a dream at all, is it?

“What the hell is going on here?” Juno demands. He wants tothrow the blankets off and leap to his feet, but he can’t muster the energy.God, he’s so tired.

“You’re recovering, hopefully,” the detective says. “You lostquite a bit of blood yesterday. How are you feeling?”

“Like I took a goddamn laser to the chest. What do you think?”

“Fair enough.” The detective takes a medical kit out from underthe bed and cuts off a strip of tape. “May I?”

“Oh, now you’re askingmy permission?”

“I would have asked before, Juno, but I’m afraid you wereunconscious.”

Juno wants to deny him, just out of spite. But even his slightmovements are making the needle wiggle uncomfortably under his skin. Thesensation itself isn’t nearly as terrible as the knowledge that it’s in there. “Fine,hurry up and do what you’re gonna do already. Just get it over with.”

The detective bends over his arm and tapes the tube back inplace, stilling the erratic little movements, seemingly unbothered by any ofthis, and it’s absolutely infuriating.

“You knew exactly where Iwas going to be,” Juno says. “How long have you been stalking me?”

The detective tutsgood-naturedly. “Please, Juno. Tailing.I’m a professional.” 

“So this is part ofanother job?”

“…Alright, perhapsstalking is the more appropriateword.” At least he has the decency to sound embarrassed. “You’vemade quite a name for yourself, you know. TheHellhound of Hyperion City. It’s got quite a ring to it.”

“I bet it looks great on the wanted posters,” Juno saysbitterly. “So who hired you this time? The Kanagawas? The police? Don’t tell meRita can afford to pay your rates twice. Last time I checked, she doesn’t makethat kind of money.”

The detective sits on the bedside, leaning in. The expression onhis face is earnest and sincere. “Nobody’s hired me, Juno.”

He looked pretty damn sincere last time Juno was in this bed,too. That didn’t exactly turn out well for him.

“Would you knock it off already?” Juno snaps. His knees rise,forming one more barrier between the detective and himself. The short movementmakes his chest wound throb. “I’m too damn tired for this garbage, so how aboutwe skip the song and dance already. Just tell me what you’re being paid to doto me this time so I can get on with my life.”

Goddammit, does the detective really need to look at him likethat? All hurt and sorry? Juno knows he’s a good actor, but damn. “I’m not being paid to doanything, Juno. I promise you, this isn’t a job. I—“

“I said quit it!” He scoots back until his back hits theheadboard and the IV tube tugs at his arm. If he wants to get any further, he’llhave to rip out the needle. He’ll also have to go in the nude, apparently—he’snot wearing any clothes under this blanket.

“I owe you, Juno,” the detective says. “If you don’t believeanything else, believe that.” He rises from the bed and takes a few steps back,giving Juno a little bit of room to breathe. “You could have turned me over to theKanagawas at any point. It might even have saved your position among theirranks—I imagine after a hit like that, they likely couldn’t afford to losesomeone with your skills. But you didn’t, and that’s very likely why I’m stillalive. By my measure, that puts me rather deep in your debt.”

“Bullshit,” Juno mutters, but the retort has lost its teeth. Settlinga debt is something Juno understands. It’s business. It’s fair. It doesn’t hurtas much as the thought of the detective actually caring about him.

Besides, he’s exhausted.

“Shall I leave you to your rest, Juno?” the detective asksgently.

“What, you’re not gonna cuff me to the bed or something?” Junochallenges.

“Only if you ask nicely.” It’s meant to be a light bit of humor,but the joke leaves a bittersweet taste in Juno’s mouth. The detective’s too,by the look of it. “No. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. But I do advisethat you wait until you finish this round of antibiotics. You’ve been fightingoff quite an infection. It may get worse if you stop treating it prematurely.”

The detective’s note should make Juno suspicious, but thethought of paying attention to one more thing saps the last of his energy. Rightnow, all he can think about is how the room is so cold, the blankets are sowarm, and the pillow smells so very nice. He just wants to sleep, dammit.

“Fine,” he mutters, curling up against the headboard, his backto the detective. It’s the gesture of a cranky child trying to dodge a nap. “I’llstay. For now.”

“That’s all I ask.” The detective retreats through the opendoor. “Sleep well, Juno.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

How long, on average, does it take to learn to drive an automatic in the UK?

"How long, on average, does it take to learn to drive an automatic in the UK?

I'm a US citizen, with a US driving licence. I've relocated to the UK recently, and need to learn to drive fast! I don't want to drive on my US licence cos the insurance costs too much. I've never driven a stick shift and think learning in an automatic will be easier. As I'm already used to driving an automatic and just need to learn the UK roads, how long do you think this will take? Anyone got any experience of this? Thanks for replies in advance !

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I want to get a motorcycle to save on gas and just because there awesome, but before I jump into things i want to see if you can help. I am trying to chose between a 1993 or1999 Harley XL Sportster and want to know on a rough estimation how much it will be for insurance for a minor?""

If you work at GEICO what is your insurance rate for your car and house?

how much of a % off is it compared to customers?

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Versus the base 4.7L. The truck is a 2006 if that makes a difference.

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Does a lawyer in California have to get Malpractice Insurance in order to take clients? For example if a newly admitted lawyer wanted to do a simple will for a family friend, would they have to obtain insurance first or can they take the case, at their own peril, and collect a fee for it?""

Trampoline and home insurance question?

I would like to purchase a large trampoline. However, my boyfriend said he would have to pay more home insurance if there is one on his property. Is that true? Wouldn't that only be required if people outside of the home get injured on it? I would be the one using it mostly, the kids would too. They're young teens.""

Dairyland insurance company for motorcycle?

How can they issue me registration over the phone? I'm located in Michigan and the local office has a different price then what I was quoted over the phone. Over the phone I pay $168, the office said it would be $330. I don't feel uncomfortable getting insurance over the phone but looks like I may have to. Is this okay to do and has anyone else done this before?""

Why is older cars like a 1970 camaro cheaper on insurance then a new one like a 1996 camaro?

Plz need help on this

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Compacts & small sedans that provide the lowest monthly auto insurance rates.

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I'm getting my restricted liscence this coming January, because of my job. I'm trying to figure out a budget. I'm a 15 yr. old female who drives a 2007 toyota camry. Thank you for any help in advance!:)""

(for people in america) how much does the average 17-18 year old pay for insurance?

im from ireland and was just wondering approx

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I'm just moving out of Virginia into Maryland and I am very overwhelmed by the high premiums that I will have to pay oppose to the lower premiums that I was paying for 2 cars in Virginia. Does anyone know a good cheap car insurance company? Thanks!

Can I help a friend with high car insurance?

I've got my own car, i'm 30, and am insured on it obviously, but a friend who is only 20 has just brought a modified car, and the insurance is quite high. Can I be the main driver on his car insurance and then he be added to the policy, and would this lower the price? or if I can't be the main named driver, can I be added to it and would this lower the amount?? Just trying to help him out really, he's skint until the end of the year, and didn't realise the insurance would be so high!! Cheerz Silver""

What do I have to do after buying a car? reg insurance etc?

this might sound stupid but my dad did everything for me when i brought my first car so i have no idea. I know ill have to change the names over to mine, get reg, insurance, pay stamp duty........ anything else ?""

How much does a salvaged title make your auto insurance go up?

I am an 18-year-old first time driver that just got his license a week ago. I got a car that's a salvaged title and a theft recovery. I got a quote on the car before I ...show more

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I'm in the process of buying a condo, and I need to have condo insurance set up. However, I'm not really sure how much insurance I need on a condo. The homeowners association covers everything on the outside, so I would only need to cover walls-in. This is what I've come up with after doing a quote: Contents Amount: $50,000 Building Property Coverage: $15,000 Condominium Loss Assessments: $1,000 Deductible: $500 Earthquake Deductible: 2% Personal Liability: $300,000 Medical Payments to Others: $1,000 The condo is selling for $125,900. I really don't have a lot of furniture, and what I do have is all hand-me-downs. I have a four year old, so all the furniture and stuff that comes along with having a kid. I don't have really nice jewelry. I have a 32inch hd tv, computer (i paid 150 for it, so nothing fancy lol), and a kindle fire, wii....that's about it for electronics. I want to make sure I have enough coverage if something happens with counters/floor/walls/etc, but I don't want to be unnecessarily paying a high insurance bill. Any suggestions? Also, is earthquake or identity theft something that would be good to add in? I live in Iowa so earthquakes aren't really an issue...but is that one of those you never know, so at least you're covered things?""

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Does Bank of America Visa provide auto insurance?

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My house is now worth substantially more than it was when I purchased it a few years ago. At the time of purchase, I had the house insured for the appraised value. Now it is worth tens of thousands more. I'm concerned that I would lose all of this equity if there was a disaster like fire that destroyed the building. Is it wise to increase the amount of coverage now and if so, is it usually neccessary to have another appraisal done or do insurance companies simply allow a homeowner to get coverage in any amount they desire?""

Will this effect my car insurance?

(btw if this makes any difference whatsoever, I live in the UK) So I'm soon to be a new driver and insurance for new drivers at the moment is really expensive! I'm aware of that! But my question was this: basically I'm looking to buy my first car, but the car I'm looking to buy was involved in an accident with not the current owner, but the owner before that! And I don't quite fully understand this but the accident was apparently a 'Category D' accident? So what I was wondering was, as this car has been in an accident, (but is now repaired) even though it wasn't me who had the accident, will this effect the price of my car insurance, as the car I will be driving will have been involved in an accident before, but not involving myself? Thanks guys :) xx""

How long, on average, does it take to learn to drive an automatic in the UK?

I'm a US citizen, with a US driving licence. I've relocated to the UK recently, and need to learn to drive fast! I don't want to drive on my US licence cos the insurance costs too much. I've never driven a stick shift and think learning in an automatic will be easier. As I'm already used to driving an automatic and just need to learn the UK roads, how long do you think this will take? Anyone got any experience of this? Thanks for replies in advance !

What would have more insurance a 2007 dodge charger 3.5l or a 2004 Nissan 350z?

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Putting someone on my car insurance policy?

Can i add my brother and his car to my insurance policy? He doesn't have insurance cuz he can't afford the whole big down payment to start his own policy. Can i just add him and his car to mine? I don't drive his car and he doesn't drive mine, so would that work?""

Why are my insurance quotes so high?

20 year old male toronto ontario G2 issued oct 2011 G1 DEC 2010 car 2003 toyota celica never been insured before quotes came up as 12000-16000/year i tryed it with a 4 door honda accord and it was 10000/year, i tryed 3 websites. Also is there an easier way to find auto insurance around toronto?""

What exactly is auto insurance?

i just got my first driver's license and I am eagerly awaiting my new car. however, i hear that i have to insure my car and register it and have registration papers. exactly what does this mean for me? will i not be able to get my car? what exactly is this insurance - is it a monthly bill, one-time payment?""

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Good car insurance??

I will be 16 in a few months and am hoping to get a Mustang two doors. soo it might be a little higher insurance..Is there an insurance company thats better than another?

Cheap Cars to Insure for 17 year olds?

Hi, I am 17 was was wondering if anyone knows of any cheap cars to insure that they could recommend. Cheers Kieran.. (P.s., if that's OK maybe you could roughly say how much your insurance was or approx how much it would be?)""

Will my drivers insurance rate go up after this accident?

Im 17, live in California and am insured under Geico. I was driving in a parking lot going the speed limit and this girl back out super fast (presumably without looking) and slams into me. Her car was fine but she left a small dent and paint chip near the door and rear tire opposite the drivers side. Will my rates go up even if I wasn't at fault? Should i even go to insurance on this? Please help!""

Can the insurance company do this?

I am sheepishly wishing I had not spoken to the insurance company this morning, but what's done is done. If the (auto) insurance company has your VIN & license plate #, can they do a check to see who's name is on the title to a vehilce?""

Average costs of homeownership wisconsin?

i really want to get a small single family house for me and my girlfriend and wanted some insight on average costs of home ownership such as morgage insurance utilitys and so on and whats the average. im looking to draw up a budget and see if it is even plausable for me to own a small house. thanks for all input

Life Insurance?

I am about to meet with a Insurance Broker and I wanted to be aware so that I am not sold what he wants to sell me instead of what I need. Does anyone have any good tips or resources?

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Classic Mini Insurance? Help?

Hi, I have a classic austin mini mayfair 998cc and 1989 year. I got quotes before on classic insurance at around 900 from footman james but now they have a new policy where they wont give insurance to anyone under 21. Ive tried all compare the market and other places but the cheapest i can find it for is 1600 fully comp. Can anyone help? ive tried other mini insurers like adrian flux but there around 2500! please help!""

""Can you recommend a good house insurance company for Houston, Texas?

Looking to buy a new insurance policy for my house

Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate?

Where can i find a Low Car Insurance Rate i have 2000 Toyota

Health insurance for students?

im 19, fulltime student and currently on my dad's plan from work currentl around 300$ for just me. i don't really have any medical problems,i don't take or need ...show more""

""What do you do if you pregnant, and you have no health insurance?

could the baby be covered on the father's insurance?

Are there any affordable insurance companies that cover preexisting conditions?

Is regular insurance better than repricing when you ned to have surgery and the condition is considered preexisting?

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""Affordable travel insurance, Tesco or Asda?

Thank you

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductible do you have? Also Feel free to answer if you do not have insurance and do you support Obamacare?""

Dwi and insurance?

i got a dwi and got into a car accident and totaled the car...its not even my car its under my moms name... will i be covered by my car insurance? like will my insurance cover me from totaling the car when i was dwi? please help

""Is car insurance cheaper in L.A., CA or Fort Worth, Texas?

I'm currently living in the L.A. area and am moving to Fort Worth and I was wondering if I should expect an increase or decrease in my current rate and how much of a difference I should see. My record is clean. I also have good credit. (if either of those might have more affect in either state)

How long, on average, does it take to learn to drive an automatic in the UK?

I'm a US citizen, with a US driving licence. I've relocated to the UK recently, and need to learn to drive fast! I don't want to drive on my US licence cos the insurance costs too much. I've never driven a stick shift and think learning in an automatic will be easier. As I'm already used to driving an automatic and just need to learn the UK roads, how long do you think this will take? Anyone got any experience of this? Thanks for replies in advance !

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-garland-tx-bryan-cunningham/"

[jungxk]

just one (iii)

notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

warnings: eventual smut, swearing, bad habits (mentions of drinking, smoking etc)

genre: humour, drama, romance, college!au

wordcount: 7.3k

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

contrary to popular belief, jungkook does set some rules for himself. he doesn't have many, but the ones he does have he's strict about.

the first was no drunks in his jeep. he already broke that rule by allowing you and your friend seulgi in, so maybe that was out the window. impressive too, because he hasn't let anyone in his truck that hammered since jimin after taehyung's 21st. he threw up all over the dashboard and jungkook could swear he smelt vomit in there for months. even though he's sensitive to smell and hates repeating the same mistakes, jungkook decided you were worth the risk.

which brings him to his second rule: messing around with girls was just that. messing around. every time he needs reminding of that jungkook remembers the cactus plant taehyung gave him back during his very first semester. he killed that thing in record timing to the point where even taehyung wondered if there was a malevolent spirit in the place, because how else could you kill a cactus? it perfectly depicted jungkook's most telling trait: he can't look after things. look out for things, sure. he can step into a fight if his friend needed help or walk an old lady to her car with groceries. because those were a one off, in-the moment things that jungkook is good at navigating. but long term things? investing himself? he could barely stomach his own emotions for a weekend let alone someone else's, so it really was a recipe for disaster for everyone involved. get in, get out, get going onto the next. that way everybody wins.

and that neatly bleeds into his final rule: no bringing girls back to his place (if he can help it). jungkook preferred to keep his personal and personal personal life separate, so the less girls knew about him outside the bedroom the better. besides, it's not like he's totally unreasonable - if his place was closest and the situation called for it, then fair enough. but that was hardly ever the case.

which is why he's here: stumbling around the park in the middle of the day, totally and utterly lost. he was sure he had taken this shortcut once or twice before but apparently he was wrong, because he didn't even know this half of the park existed.

"the fuck is this place," jungkook mutters to himself, shifting as best as he can through a patch of long grass. he's pretty sure he's got a twig in his shirt somewhere and he doesn't even want to think about that squishy thing he just stepped in. his dick may have had a blast last night (and this morning) but the timbs on his feet had definitely seen better days.

jungkook had been wandering around for so long now he considers calling the girl who's place he'd just left in hopes of getting some directions...but then realised he didn't have her number. and even if he did, what would he say? i made you cum faster than you could spell out my name but now i need you to fish me out of the park like a lost dog? and then the next hurdle: what was her name again? jane? joy? jill? it quickly becomes irrelevant when jungkook gets through the end of weeds and broken branches to an open plain of grass again. it's a cloudy day so it wasn't particularly beautiful to look at, but he's just happy to be out of the mess of trees. looking out to the large pond of water just where the steepness of a hill stops, he double-takes when he sees that the person sitting atop it is...you.

you. bundled up in a hoodie, no makeup, tongue sticking out while you work to get the shading of that wilted tree just right. it's a public place, there are people out on the streets, cars whizzing past, but jungkook still feels like he's stumbled upon something private, intimate even - so beautiful do you look, so simple and candid. just you in your own little world. his fingers practically itch for a camera.

raising a hand before calling out your name, jungkook is unable to stop a smile blooming across his face when you snap your head up. he comes over to you, out from all the bushes like it was a totally normal place for someone to be. you can't help but stare at him like he's go an extra head when he finally reaches you, hair all mussed and eyes wonderfully bright. he smells vaguely of women's perfume and cigarette smoke but fuck if you don't gulp a little at how delectable he looks, leaf in his hair and all. "fancy seeing you here, noona."

"i could say the same," you lean to peer over his big shoulder, quirking a brow. "jungkook, why were you in the woods?"

he looks back with you to inspect the path he came from. "i was in the woods?"

"yeah," you laugh, his dopey expression making warmth flourish in your chest. he looks so loveable when he has no idea what's going on, eyes all big and mouth hanging open like an endearing dumbass. the urge to kiss him hits you out of nowhere. "i'm um, guessing you don't come to this park often?"

"i do! i've been here like," he counts his fingers. "twice? once sober." he looks down at his feet bashfully. "i'm actually a little lost."

"i hadn't guessed," you grin up at him, gesturing, "the entrance is way on the other side, over there. if you keep walking this way and then turn left at the-"

"i'll just wait until you're done," jungkook insists, plopping down on the grass next to you. his shirt wrinkles up around the belt to extenuate the flat of his stomach, settling into the ridges of what quite obviously are his covered abs. he looks so innocent from the neck up, round eyes blinking at you through his hair innocently like he isn't all hard edges and stiff lines from the shoulders down. a wolf in sheep's clothing and all that. "if you don't mind, that is? i don't know if you realised but i'm not exactly good with directions."

"you're right. if i let you wander off alone i'll probably see your face on the news tomorrow. just gimme a minute to pack all this-"

the gentle hand enveloping yours stills you. "please. take your time," jungkook hums, letting you enjoy the warmth of his touch before settling back with his palms in the grass again. "i don't mind relaxing here a little while anyway."

you open your book again upon his insisting. "i won't be too long, promise. this fucking pond is just being difficult."

"looks pretty perfect to me," he muses, pretending to inspect your work when really he's inspecting you.

it goes straight over your head though, too enthralled in getting the lines right, getting every stain of colour placed where you want it. you made the dreariest looking pond look like a glittering lake, alive with colour and life that didn't exist in the real world. he scans the other page; more trees, dogs playing with owners, cloudy skies and orchids, so many orchids even though this park had none. you clearly had a liking for them.

"it's definitely not perfect," you laugh, wetting your brush and softening more edges. "but that's what i love about painting. perfect doesn't exist. or even desired." he hums in agreement, no longer able to look at your art, only you. the way your lashes gently flutter, a dimple forming at the side of your mouth when you purse your lips. you were so easy on the eyes jungkook doesn't realise he's staring until you break the silence. "so are you gonna tell me why you're lost in the park or are you gonna make me guess, slick?"

he grins. "you have three strikes, noona. use them wisely."

"booty call?"

"damn," he huffs, head tilting back while listening to your victorious laugh. "listen, it wasn't exactly a booty call. that would imply i met jane before," he pauses. "i mean joy. wait, jennie?" he scratches his head. "what's your friend's name again, jisoo? definitely not her..."

"ask your dick, he'll probably remember. do you want me to give you two some privacy?"

"what's it to you?" jungkook laughs, nudging your shoulder with his while he gnaws his bottom lip, because it's not like he was about to admit that jane/joy/jennie was the third girl he slept with this week to get you out of his head. it was slutty even by jungkook's standards, and even then it still didn't stop him from secretly hoping you'd at least get a tiny bit jealous - and at best, curious to take their place.

"nothing, nothing," you throw him playful look. "i'm just another art hoe sat in the park, who am i to judge?"

he laughs again, nose scrunching up cutely. "how did you find this place anyway?" jungkook peers around the fence of trees, making the area feel so much more secluded, as if the rest of the world was off somewhere else. "i never knew there was such a big pond here."

"neither did i, until jimin."

"jimin?"

a nod. "he brought me here a few years ago, back when i was," you don't know how to finish, wetting your lips. "back when i was going through a tough time. family issues and all that. he said everyone needs a place to scream and cry and this was his, so he gave it to me too. it also just happens to be very pretty."

you can feel jungkook's inquisitive eyes on you, regarding how wistful you look remembering the days you and jimin would come here every week for some respite from life. it all seemed so long ago but like yesterday at the same time, as if walking around in a dream. it's jungkook that lulls you back to earth with his velvet soft voice. "you know it's weird, i know jimin hyung inside out, have done since we were kids. when he's mad, upset, whatever it was," he pauses thoughtfully. "but i don't think he's ever opened up to me about his feelings. anyone, really. he comes out here to scream but he can't like, talk to people?"

"jimin's like that," you agree. "everyone thinks because he has a million friends he's an open book, but it's the opposite. i've known him all this time and he's never even cried in front of me!"

"same," jungkook sighs. "weird. especially since he was, like, the biggest crybaby from ages four to sixteen."

"sixteen?" you laugh. "seriously?!"

"you have no idea! one time as a joke i asked if he was crying even though he wasn't, and he got so annoyed he started crying," jungkook snickers, eyes crinkling happily while he falls about in giggles with you. "but then he grew up, went to college. gets himself some pussy every time he's upset now, i guess."

"it sounds awful when you put it like that!" you pause. "maybe it is a little awful."

jungkook shrugs. "it's the easy way out, is what it is. doesn't make him a bad guy."

you prod him. "are we still talking about jimin?" you're met with another nudge before continuing. "what i mean is he's always thinking of others, that jiminie," you shake your head fondly at the thought of him, and jungkook sees your affection for him etched all across your face. "i keep telling him that processing other people's emotions for them isn't healthy, but he won't listen to me. have at it when you get the time."

"what was it?" jungkook asks. "the emotions he processed for you, i mean?" he raises a brow when you make a face at him. "or do i have to reach level fifty before unlocking your tragic backstory?"

"try level one hundred," you scoff, hauling yourself up to collect your things. "now, do you wanna go get some coffee or sit here and talk about our abandonment issues? choose carefully, you only get one."

"coffee," jungkook scrambles to pack your art supplies for you, making you laugh. "coffee, coffee, coffee!"

x

x

x

"jiminieee!" you call out across the house, kicking the door shut behind you after letting yourself in. you're glad you never threw out your old key because it came in handy during times like this, when jimin couldn't answer a text to save his life. he usually wasn't so m.i.a. but that didn't mean he didn't have his moments from time to time. you just assumed maybe he had a girl over, in which case you had no problem eating all the snacks in the kitchen and playing video games with taehyung until he was done. "why didn't you pick up, i called you like, twice today! anyway i was thinking, do you-"

you stop dead in kitchen, surprised to see hoseok there with jimin. it's dead quiet, heads snapped to you like they've only just stopped talking upon your arrival. you can't help but blink back at them, a little dazed, unsure what you just walked in on. but before you can think too much about it, hoseok is shooting you one of his sweet smiles. "hey, ____!"

"hey hobi, uh," your eyes skirt over to your best friend nervously. "didn't think i'd see you here..!"

"hyung just came over for a catch up," jimin says, which is about as much of an explanation as you're gonna get. "sorry i missed your calls, i left my phone upstairs. everything good?"

"yeah i just," you shuffle closer to jimin, a habit you had when you felt uneasy. even though there was nothing to be uneasy about, so to speak; you and hobi had been texting regularly for a couple weeks now, so it's not like you had a reason to be so skittish. so why do you get the nagging feeling there's something you're missing? you ignore it in favour of jimin's pleasant expression. "i was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie? that new horror film just came out and i'm free tonight, so..?"

he strokes your back apologetically, venturing dangerously low. boyfriend territory, so to speak. "sorry ____, but i have so much work to catch up on before this weekend! remember irene noona?"

you lean into him involuntarily. "yeah?"

"she's having another thing on saturday. i really wanna go but i gotta submit my project first," jimin explains, his gentle caress along your spine enough to lull you into submission alone. "but hobi can go with you! you're free tonight, aren't you hyung?"

"um," hoseok wets his lips, eyes darting between the pair of you. "yeah. yeah, i'd love to take you for a movie, ____. if you don't mind, that is."

"oh, yeah of course not! that sounds great," you pat jimin's chest briefly. "too bad you can't make it though. next time?"

"next time," he nods, and you do your best not to shiver when he squeezes your hip.

x

x

x

you're still in denial all the way to the movie theatre, right up until hoseok pays for the tickets and the popcorn and the good coke. there was no denying it after that: you were officially on a date with jung hoseok.

and it was the first of many. because hobi was funny and understanding and sweet, planning around your schedule and picking things you liked to do. even if you cancelled last minute or opted for a night in, he was so chill about it all. if there was a definition of prince charming in the dictionary, hobi's face would be plastered next to it, his name in glitter cursive. this is further supported by the way he brings you flowers before taking you to a fancy dinner he saved up for, all the way uptown.

evidently, it was only natural that your first kiss with him be perfect as well.

"oh, hoseok!" you coo, plucking the fresh lillies from his hands happily. his cheeks burn with excitement, because you only ever call him hoseok when you're sincerely touched. he follows you into the kitchen while you put the flowers in some water, like a puppy on a leash. jimin was right, he muses. this way, everybody wins. "they're so beautiful! you really shouldn't have, i can imagine these costing a fuck tonne..."

"don't worry about that," hoseok says, stepping closer to you when you finally face him. he looks awfully dashing in his dress shirt and pants, hair swept back to reveal even more of his bright, handsome face. he reaches for your hand gently. "i'm just glad you like them."

"i love them," you smile, his heart fluttering with how pretty you look in that moment, all sweet features and a sweeter dress. "no one's ever given me flowers before, you know. maybe i'll sketch them tonight, so i remember forever."

"no need," he chuckles, taking another step. you're close now, awfully close. the richness of his brown eyes throws you, studying your face with the most gentle smile in the world. before he looks down at your lips. "i'll buy you flowers for as long as you'll let me."

hoseok reaches up to cup the side of your face, feather light and soft. he waits for you to pull away, and when you don't he leans in to meet you half way in a short, honey-sweet kiss. his lips are just as soft as they look, just as plump as you'd imagined. you sigh into his mouth when he kisses you again, a bit longer this time, falling into his chest for more before hoseok pulls back with a glittering grin.

"come on," he says brightly, tugging your hands. "i busted my ass for that reservation, so no tardiness!"

you hum with a nod, clutching his hand and letting him lead you out.

but of course, you got there on time. dinner was perfect, the food was delicious, the weather was lovely, absolutely everything was just right. and yet when hoseok kisses you goodnight at the door, you wonder why your chest feels like it's got a chunk missing. like scraping the bottom of a tub of ice cream for a piece of cookie dough and not finding any. you pad into your room, waiting expectantly for hoseok's got home safe text that he never forgets to send. you're so caught up in your head trying to figure out if the chicken you had at dinner is what's making you feel off, before your phone pings! right on time. but then you do a double take at the id.

[unknown number 9:28pm] hey it's slick :) just wanted to ask why you let me walk around with a leaf in my hair the other day. awfully mean of you noona

[unknown number 9:28pm] this is jungkook btw in case u havent guessed

[unknown number 9:29pm] unless im not the only guy u call slick...?

the laughter that bubbles up in your chest is so potent and refreshing you find yourself falling back into your bed in a fit of giggles, eagerly unlocking your phone to save jungkook's number. you had totally forgotten to anticipate his text in the weeks hobi kept you busy.

[you 9:32pm] thanks for clarifying, ur actually slick #4. jimins #5 if that helps

[you 9:33pm] you didn't pay for my coffee so it was revenge

[you 9:33pm] plus you Might have looked a bit cute

[jungkook 9:35pm] are u kidding

[jungkook 9:35pm] i got u those overpriced chocolate things which was like 4 coffees

[jungkook 9:36pm] ahhhhh there it is :) i knew u had a thing for me

[you 9:38pm] they're called croissants jungkook

[jungkook 9:38pm] idc lets go back to how u think im cute

[you 9:40pm] i thought you didnt like me calling u cute

[jungkook 9:41pm] ill take what i can get in this fuckin drought

[jungkook 9:42pm] my plan is to run with the cute thing until i evolve. charmander was cute in the beginning too but then he becomes charizard n everyones like woahhh

[you 9:43pm] are you literally 7 yrs old. am i talkin to ash ketchum rn

[jungkook 9:43pm] pls dont be silly noona ash was 10

[you 9:45pm] so older than u then

[jungkook 9:49pm] can we stop talking abt pokemon now im trying to flirt

[you 9:50pm] dont say that or ur ash hyung will be sad

[jungkook 9:51] i actlly hate u

you're so busy laughing you almost miss hobi's incoming message. you should have replied then and there, but the influx of jungkook’s messages keep you occupied. 

[hoseok 9:43pm] got home safe xx

[hoseok 9:43pm] had a lovely night with you hun xx wanna meet before class tomorrow?xx

x

x

x

"you're having boy trouble, aren't you?" is the first thing taehyung says when you drag him out of his room. and he's not wrong. jimin's out so it's safe enough to take the conversation to the kitchen, tae's smirk over his coffee mug only making you flinch harder. "well?"

"i mean," you tap the table nervously. "sort of? it's just not something i wanna talk to the girls about. or jimin either for that matter. unfortunately you're the only neutral party i have to indulge in."

"charmed. so what did hobi do?" he asks simply. "eat the nuggets off your plate? propose a threesome before the third date? wear denim on denim?"

"...one of those is not like the other, tae."

"you're right. if he took your nuggets the fucker wouldn't be even be alive right now."

"but to answer your question, no he didn't do anything. in fact, i'd go as far as saying he's been so perfect it's starting to make me think he's a hologram or something. some kind of sexy robot designed to charm women but he broke out of the lab and now we're dating."

he gives a snort of derision. "come on, he's a guy. there's gotta be something gross about him."

"nope! he dresses well, smells good, never late, texts me back," you hold your head in your hands dramatically. "he even finishes his political arts essays extra fast just so i have an outline for when it comes to writing mine. the guy is a saint."

"so why did you drag me out of my room during wank hours?"

"jesus, taehyung! it's one in the afternoon!"

"well?"

"i just!" you throw your hands up comically. "i think there's something wrong me! he buys me flowers, texts me good morning...so why don't i have butterflies? why aren't i rushing to reply to him? just the other night i left him on read for ju-for some other guy. i mean, half of me is like if i don't feel something then that's valid but the other half of me is wondering why? why do i feel like i ordered the wrong drink at a coffee shop and i only realised after the first taste? like, it's not a bad drink at all, it's actually quite nice. but it's not what i wanted. you know?"

he raises a dismissive hand to your rambling. "answer me this. do you wanna fuck him?"

you pause, mulling it over. "yeah, i guess."

"you guess?"

"well i wouldn't say no," you admit, huffing as you shift your mug between your hands. "because he's crazy hot and a great kisser, if that's any indication. i'm sure he wouldn't let me down. but i have cause to say the same about you and probably half of jimin's other friends too, so."

taehyung rolls his eyes. "well, ignoring the fact that that was possibly the most tepid compliment you could have given me," he leans across the counter so you can't miss the way his eyes bore into you. "if you're not desperate to fuck him, and i mean getting so excited you shiver a little every time he comes within a meter of you, then that's that. game over, case closed. you should never have to guess whether you wanna fuck a guy or not."

"but he's doing everything right," you wail childishly. "and it's not like i don't like him taehyung, i do."

he shrugs to that. "right. you just don't like him enough to continue dating him on your merry way without coming to me for advice? come on, listen to yourself! the guy's half way to asking you to be his girlfriend, if there's no spark now then what are you waiting for?"

"but maybe there will be! eventually! i definitely like him more and more the longer we've been dating," you counter. "isn’t that worth waiting for?" you groan when tae does nothing but shoot a pointed look in reply. "fine, i'm making excuses. but in my defence if you had to break something like this to jimin you'd be stressed too."

"jimin?" taehyung repeats, brows furrowing. "what does he have to do with this?"

"i mean he pretty much set us up. he's super invested too, he remembers when i need to text hobi back more often than i do." taehyung chews on the information. it doesn't sit well in his stomach and it shows, his lips pursing and his legs jiggling restlessly. "at least it put an end to jisoo and seulgi's crazy idea that jimin liked me. weird though, i didn't think guys would give so much of a shit about their friends relationships."

"yeah, weird," taehyung grumbles, effectively switching the conversation to what he knows will distract you before you can clock onto his pinched expression. "speaking of friends, jungkook says you two have been talking a lot recently. that true?"

"oh, yeah. yeah, i guess," you suddenly find your empty mug very interesting. "we text a bit. went out for coffee a while ago."

taehyung double takes. "coffee?" a pause. "like a-"

you silence him. "don't say date. don't you dare say date. i swear to god if you say date i'll make you a new coffee and pour it in your lap taehyung, i'll do it."

he smirks. "did he pay?"

"no, i got the drinks. but he got the pastries."

"but did he order any pastries?"

silence.

"it was a date."

"no it wasn't!"

x

x

x

"how are you feeling about friday?" jimin asks quietly, lips pressed into your hair so the words come out muffled.

you're half asleep against him, it's one of the few times you're snuggled up into him and not the other way around. you're not sure what trashy romcom is playing anymore, all you know is that jimin's chest is so comfortable under your head, his body so warm with yours cradled into it. you yawn before answering, burying your nose into his soft hoodie. "lunch with hobi? we have lunch together all the time, why would-?"

"no," he says softly, pulling back slightly to look at you. "the other thing."

you meet his eyes, and then it hits you. "oh." a heavy beat. "i-i totally forgot. i can't believe i forgot..."

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said anything," he apologises, tucking you further into his arm. you hope your heating cheeks don't give you away with how close you are against him, breathing him in like you would a lover. you're so entranced by his flushed lips and tender expression that you barely listen to what he's saying. "it's good that you're with hobi that day, though. keep you distracted a little, you know?"

"yeah," you hum, but it doesn't keep the sinking feeling out of your chest.

"i only brought it up because i wanted to cook for you that night," he smiles. "i'll make that pasta you like, we'll play some video games. it'll be fun."

you gaze up at jimin in that moment and you hear the words he won't say loud and clear: i don't want you to be alone. your affection for him surges and you think he can see it in your face, because he smiles back at you with a tenderness you don't see often. you shiver a little when he brushes some hair from your face, his touch lingering ever so slightly to the point where you think he just might kiss you. he doesn't, of course. he never has, and never will.

"that sounds perfect," you say finally, dropping your head back into his shoulder to hide your flushed face if anything. you wrap a tight arm around his middle, a silent thank you, and he resumes his cheek tucked against your head.

x

x

x

the next day it rained.

the kind of rain that comes out of nowhere. one minute jungkook was flying down the road with all the windows down and namjoon hyung's playlist blasting and then the next it's pouring, the sound of raindrops hitting his truck so loud he thinks maybe it will leave a dent on the bonnet. jungkook's just glad he got his sunset pictures done and dusted before the downpour, because fuck if his photography degree didn't rest in the hands of the weather forecast at this point. he has enough time on his hands to consider squeezing in a smoke with namjoon before maybe heading out for the night or even seeing what yoongi hyung is up to, but all that goes flying out the window when jungkook sees you. again.

you. standing in the street in the pouring rain outside the post office like a fucking crazy person. you, with no coat, no umbrella, not even a jumper. it's like you've seen a ghost and you're too scared to walk through the door, or maybe you are the ghost. swerving into the curb in a haphazard park, jungkook doesn't know. all he knows is that if the rain doesn't sweep you away any minute now then the fucking pneumonia would.

"hey! noona, what are you doing?!" he screeches through the open window. you just stand there, dumbstruck. even when you finally hear jungkook's yelling, it’s like his voice slips through one ear and out the other. "hey! are you fucking insane? it's pouring!" jungkook shouts above the downfall. you still can't move. "____, get in the car!"

you probably wouldn't have if you hadn't looked up to see jungkook's face, twisted in disbelief and what also appears to be worry. cars honk at him from how badly he's parked, butt of the truck sticking out in the road. he stopped for you...

he stopped for you. so you get in the car.

"are you crazy?!" he asks again as he frantically rejoins the traffic while you fiddle with your seat belt, so sopping wet and freezing that you slip and slide with the buckle. jungkook helps you just like last time, reaching over to click you in before glancing back at your face. you're absolutely drenched, hands wrinkled and hair dripping, clothes soaked through to the bone. and even though you're shivering in the passenger seat with barely any semblance of sanity, your grip on the little blue envelope in your fist doesn't falter. "why the fuck were you just standing there?"

"i," you start, but the words freeze up. "i, um..."

jungkook eyes you like the mad person you most definitely are, and you don't blame him. you look mad. you feel mad. out of sorts, like your spirit is floating around your empty body and the only reason you can't hear her yelling is because the sound of the rain is drowning it out. your chest heaves, air not coming into your lungs fast enough, pulse pounding in your ears. "put on my hoodie," he snaps, gesturing to the seat behind yours. "do you see it, the red one?"

you twist in your seat after a shaky nod, clambering around before grabbing it and tugging it over your head as you're told. it's so big and soft, so warm and so...jungkook. your eyes flutter shut when you bury your nose into the fabric, breathing in the smell of him. fresh laundry, soap, the faintest cologne. and something unmissably sweet. you don't know why but your eyes suddenly brim with tears.

"hey," jungkook says nervously, not knowing how to handle this. "you okay?" another beat. "you gonna tell me why you were out in this goddamn monsoon, or?"

you finally turn your head to look at him, really look at him. silver bracelets glimmer from jungkook's wrists while he drives, his hair matted and sticking up at the back a little. his muscles are hard, you can see the bulge of his biceps. his jaw is sharp, his mouth pursed into a line unhappily, but his eyes are soft. his voice is soft. his hoodie is soft. "i was," you look down at the envelope. it's crumpled and sodden but you haven't let go of it. "i was going to post this. i mean, i wasn't. well, i might have, but..."

jungkook steals another glance because he still has no idea what the fuck is going on. "you couldn't have taken your indecisive ass inside the post office to do all that?" you go quiet again and jungkook's chest feels tighten for some reason. "what kind of letter is so important you'd get drenched for it?"

"it's not a letter," you mumble. then, louder, "it's not a letter, it's. it's a card."

"a card?" he frowns. "like a birthday card?"

you nod. it's hits you then, like a punch in the gut: the shame, the utter embarrassment of it all. of jungkook fishing you out of the rain like this so you don't catch a death wish of a cold, bundling you up in his car like a little kid who got lost. but that's what you feel like, a kid wandering around. a basket case with a birthday card. so it was no wonder your thoughts start to spew from your mouth like projectile vomit but in word form. "remember, um," you gulp, trying to reign in your racing mind. "remember i told you i had, uh, family issues?"

jungkook peers at you, eyeing the road nervously between pauses. "yeah..."

"well, um," you scratch your head, hair flat to your scalp from all the rain. you ruffle it, irritated. "long story short, it's that. like i know i showed you my sketchbook and let you watch me paint in the park and rush to draw flowers before they die but all that stuff is...it's the reason why i'm here. i love it, i love art and it's who i am but if i didn't i probably wouldn't have been caught out in the rain and you probably wouldn't have come found me and-"

he shakes his head. "woah, woah. you're not back tracking far enough, what are you talki-"

"my family," you gasp. "they're not like me. they're not like me at all, jungkook, but i tried to be like them. my mum's a brain surgeon and my dad's a chemical engineer and my sister's a physics professor in some fancy university and i was gonna be just like them. i was gonna throw out all my paint and charcoal and be medical biologist, but i couldn't do it. i tried so hard for so long, but. but i couldn't do it," you're faintly aware of the tears sliding down your cheeks. "why do you think i'm friends with jimin? or rather, that he's friends with me of all people? we met through mutuals and by the time i dropped out of my science degree he was the only one who would still talk to me. i would have been living out of my car for eight months if it wasn't for him."

"what?" he eyes you frantically. "what do you...?"

"my family renounced me. cut me out of their name, threw away all my stuff, kicked me out the house, removed me from their will. everything you can think of, they did it. they're smart after all." you start to laugh at how ridiculous it all was, even though you're crying, even though you're angry, even though you're conflicted. "we haven't spoken in years."

"wait, just wait a second," jungkook tries to keep up. "they disowned you because you decided to be who you are and not what they wanted? what kind of pathetic idiots would throw away their own kid over something like that?"

"because their reputation is everything," you sigh. "you don't get it, jungkook. the kind of name they made for themselves is some top dog shit. they publish papers and take part in groundbreaking research like it’s a hobby. for them to say that one their esteemed daughters dropped out of university because she wanted to be a painter or some shit is a disgrace to their reputation."

his mouth visibly upturns, like he's tasted something bad. "they're the ones who are the disgrace. god, what fucking assholes!"

"but maybe it's better to be an asshole than a dumb fuck," you wave the drenched envelope mockingly. "look at me! i stood outside in the rain because i couldn't decide if i wanted to post my dad a birthday card or not! they haven't spoken to me in years and i still send them a fucking card every birthday," you cover your forehead, embarrassed just from saying it out loud. "they probably set it on fire the second it gets passed the mailbox! they probably throw it straight in the trash and here i am, still sending it."

"but you didn't," he points out. "you still have it there in your hand, don't you? and it didn't exactly look like you were rushing to get inside when i saw you either."

"well yeah, because i think it finally hit me how stupid i am," you look down at your knees. "i just wanted them to know that i don't forget the important stuff. i'll never forget. if i don't post it today then my dad won't receive it on time for friday, and. god, why am i still calling him my dad when technically he's legally not even my relative anymo-" you wet your lips, shaking your head. "it's been years. it's been years. and they've never replied. the only one that's still holding onto this whole thing and getting hurt by it is me, so maybe...maybe it's time i end it. i've already moved on in every other way and this is the last thing that's left, the last tie i have with them, so...yeah."

you wait for it; the spiel of expletives that usually follows when you divulge your past. how your former family don't deserve you, how you should turn your back on them just as they did to you, how wrong they were and how much better off you are in the long run. all things that you whole-heartedly agreed with, if you didn't you wouldn't be here. but moving on isn't a straight line. forgetting isn't like waiting for a pin to drop.

"i can't believe you're related to such disgusting pieces of shit," jungkook starts, knuckles whitening against the steering wheel. it's the first time you regard him now that you've finished rambling, and you can finally see how livid he looks, his face pinched together angrily. "have they even seen your art, though? just because you aren't talented in the same thing they are you get thrown out? all those fucking degrees and scientific bullshit but they can't even see their children as people, what useless fucks," and then, out of nowhere, "do you want me to turn around?"

your head snaps up. "what?"

"the u turn is coming up," jungkook clarifies, looking over his shoulder to check his blind spot. you stare at him, wait for any indication that he's joking or just fucking with you. he takes your wary expression as hesitation. "i can go in and post it and you can just wait in the car, if you want."

"wh-what..?" you try again, unable to do anything but gawk at him.

jungkook regards your disbelief, sighing curtly. "look, my opinion about those pricks is just that - my opinion. at the end of the day it's your life not mine so i can't tell you to do shit. no one can. so if you want me to turn the car around to go and post that card for you, i will. i can't help you with the other stuff, but i can help you with that."

your eyes well up again, hands shaking like leaves. you hadn't even told jimin about the cards in order to avoid the scorn, and yet here was jungkook. a boy you had only met a handful of times ready to support a decision that even he didn't agree with. the feeling was as relieving as it was...foreign.

he wets his bottom lip while you blink away your tears hastily. "so?"

"no," you say finally. "no, it's okay."

he looks at you seriously. "are you sure?"

you nod. "yeah, i'm sure. could you just, um, take me to jimin's? i think seeing him will help me feel better."

jungkook nods, changing lanes for the new route. "does he know? about the cards, i mean?"

you shake your head with a tiny laugh. "no way, he'd flip a shit if i told him! you know how protective he is, he hates my family more than i do."

"well i'm not exactly far off at this point either," jungkook mutters, and you can't help but smile. it makes him smile too, the gripping feeling in his chest washing away at the sight of your shining teeth and dimpled cheeks. he likes the way you look in his big jumper, hair messy and eyes bright. out of all the sunset pictures he took today, he realises that none of them compare to you in his passenger seat right now. "do you think you'll say anything?"

"nah, there's no need," you pause thoughtfully. "he's making me dinner on friday. to get my mind off it all, you know? sometimes i really don't understand why he does all this for me, but..."

"he loves you," jungkook shrugs, and you can't help but wince like you've been pinched. "he said it himself, you're like family to him."

"really?" you chuckle. "what a sap."

"i told you. the nation's crybaby," jungkook smirks, pulling up outside jimin's place. he reaches out to touch your wrist when you go to remove his hoodie. "don't, you can keep it. don't look at me like that, i have like a hundred-"

"i'll wash it and bring it back to you," you take his hand before he can remove it. "thank you, jungkook."

"don't mention it," he starts, but you shake your head.

"not just for your hoodie," you say, the thrum of your heart suddenly in your ears again. you grip his wrist, tugging him over the console. it's like your body acts without your brain's permission because it's all over in a flash; jungkook's doe eyed face close to yours, your soft lips against his cheek in a short kiss.

his mouth is still hanging open slightly when you jump out his car and wave back cutely. he thinks maybe he imagined it, maybe he's about to wake up any second now. he's not sure why his palms are suddenly clammy and his heart is racing a mile a minute because lord knows getting his cheek kissed is the most innocent thing to take place in this truck, but he can't help it. the smell of you mixed with rain linger in the air and jungkook has to take a second to steady his hands on the wheel, fix his breathing like he's a fifteen year old who's never been within an inch of a girl before. for the first time in years, he panics. 

don't bite off more than you can chew, jimin had said. and suddenly jungkook hears it differently.